Table of contents
Chapter 1 – Introduction
Chapter 2 – The size of Sweden
Chapter 3 – Geography
Chapter 4 – Stockholm
Chapter 5 – The Swedish weather
Chapter 6 – The Swedish summer
Chapter 7 – The Swedish winter
Chapter 8 – Sweden, a peace-loving nation
Chapter 9 – Swedish diplomacy
Chapter 10 – Sweden – a neutral country
Chapter 11 – Sweden and the EU
Chapter 12 – Nordic neighbours
Chapter 13 – Swedish politics
Chapter 14 – Swedish tax
Chapter 15 – Religion in Sweden
Chapter 16 – Swedish history
Chapter 17 – Nuclear power
Chapter 18 – Foreign aid and charity
Chapter 19 – Business climate in Sweden
Chapter 20 – Swedish business culture
Chapter 21 – Swedish decision-making
Chapter 22 – Swedish inventions
Chapter 23 – Talking of IKEA
Chapter 24 – Swedish schedules
Chapter 25 – Week 37
Chapter 26 – 2011-11-01
Chapter 27 – Best in the world
Chapter 28 – Swedish homes
Chapter 29 – Invited to dinner 1
Chapter 30 – Invited to dinner 2
Chapter 31 – Invited to dinner 3
Chapter 32 – At the restaurant
Chapter 33 – Swedish alcohol policy
Chapter 34 – Beer
Chapter 35 – Snaps
Chapter 36 – Swedish teeth
Chapter 37 – Swedish food
Chapter 38 – The normal Swede
Chapter 39 – The honest Swede
Chapter 40 – The silent Swede
Chapter 41– The Grateful Swede
Chapter 42 – The ‘lagom bra’ Swede
Chapter 43 – The safety-conscious Swede
Chapter 44 – The patriotic Swede
Chapter 45 – The new Swede
Chapter 46 – Nature
Chapter 47 – Law and order
Chapter 48 – Sport
Chapter 49 – Swedish sex and sin
Chapter 50 – Vacation
Chapter 51 – Public holidays
Chapter 52 – It is what we say in Sweden ‘klämdag’
Chapter 53 – Some Swedish traditional holidays
Chapter 54 – The Right of Common Access
Chapter 55 – Swedish small talk
Chapter 56 – Swedish conversation
Chapter 57 – Swedish discussion
Chapter 58 – The Swedish family
Chapter 59 – Tourism to Sweden
Chapter 60 – The Swedish language
Chapter 61 – A lesson in Swedish
Copyright 2008 by Colin Moon/Mercuri Kongress
Published at Smashwords
Graphic design: John Eyre www.johneyre.com
Cover photo: Leif Jacobsson www.leifjacobsson.com
Printed by Wikströms AB, Uppsala, 2008
Chapter 1 Introduction
This little book has been written for all of you who, one way and another, have dealings with Swedes. You’ve certainly spoken to them on the phone, you’ve probably met a few and you may even have had the good fortune to visit this delightful country.
Most of what the official travel guide books tell you is true.
Sweden is indeed a country of 100 000 lakes. It is indeed covered by stunningly beautiful forests. Sweden is indeed fantastic as the Swedes themselves say. But there is more to tell.
I have been fortunate to live among these honest, clean-living, handsome people for a number of years. They, like everyone else, think they are normal. In fact, they probably think they are a little bit more normal than you and me. But I am sure you have already noticed one or two strange little things about them. Let me tell you, there are more than one or two. And that’s what this book is all about.
If you have been given this book by a Swede, it’s a sign that that they want you to get to know them a little bit more. Who-ever said that Swedes don’t have a sense of humour?
Colin Moon
Chapter 2 The size of Sweden
Approximately 9 215 021 inhabitants occupy the fourth largest country in Europe. If you were to swing Sweden round at 180° using the southernmost tip as the axis, you could reach central Italy no problem. Mind you, the Sami (Laplanders) would want to know what they were suddenly doing in Naples. Distances in Sweden are so vast that people have to fly or travel by rail on a sleeper. This means that not many Swedes know what their country looks like. They either fly 10 000 metres above it or sleep through it.
Chapter 3 Geography
The southern part of Sweden is the most densely populated and is inhabited by people called Scanians, a kind of Swedish-speaking Dane. They are proud to tell you that they were once a part of Denmark and that they have absolutely nothing in common with the rest of the country. Indeed, they are geographi-cally closer to Berlin than to Stockholm. The Öresund Bridge connecting Malmö with Copenhagen is the gateway to Europe and the rest of the world. Or at least as far as the Danish capital for a good night out.
The north of Sweden is inhabited by northerners (Norrlän-ningar) and the Sami (Laplanders), an ancient hunting and fishing nomadic people who live in tents and speak a Finno-Urgic language they themselves can hardly understand. This is perhaps why they hardly say anything at all. Norrland, as this area is called, stretches across 60% of Sweden and is so sparsely populated that the inhabitants hardly ever meet anyone to talk to.
In central Sweden lies the capital, Stockholm. Stockholm is inhabited by ‘zero eights’, so called because of their telephone area codes. ‘Zero eights’ have a reputation for being like sea-gulls, they scream and cause a mess wherever they go. Well, that’s what the Swedish-speaking Danes say in the south. The people of the north haven’t said a word. As usual.
Chapter 4 Stockholm
Stockholm is so beautiful that they now charge an entrance fee – a congestion charge for vehicles. You also have to pay an exit fee when you drive out, when doing the city a favour by making it a little less crowded. There’s Swedish logic for you.
Stockholm is full of water and Swedes love water. Which is just as well as 10% of the country is covered by it. The Stockholm Archipelago stretches for 90km and contains 24 000 islands, some no bigger than a tree on a rock. The water is so clear you can drink it – Absolut Water on the rocks.
Chapter 5 The Swedish weather
On average a Swede has approximately 13 438 conversations about the weather in his life time. There’s a lot of weather in Sweden and it changes every seven minutes.
Swedes plan their lives round the weather forecast without really trusting it.
Chapter 6 The Swedish summer
The Swedish summer is the warmest day of the year. And as Sweden is a very normal country, it is normal for the Swedish summer to be a bit colder than normal.
Chapter 7 The Swedish winter
The geography book will tell you that, although the country is on the same latitude as Alaska, Sweden has a mild climate and the Atlantic Gulf stream gives warm winters. The truth is that there are two types of winter in Sweden. A grey one and a white one. Swedes survive the winter only by dreaming of what they are going to do on that summer’s day.
Chapter 8 Sweden – a peace-loving nation