It’s OK To Hate…Awful People
By Aaron Crabill
SMASHWORDS EDITION
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PUBLISHED BY:
Aaron Crabill on Smashwords
It’s OK To Hate…Awful People
Copyright © 2011 by Aaron Crabill
Smashwords Edition License Notes
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Nothing like going to a professional, who you have no choice but to trust…and ending up getting boned by a jerk who’s just WAITING for some one like you to take advantage of. There is a special place in hell for people like this.
Gotta
love this person. Starting fights left and right. Issues
with all the people they work with, but totally oblivious to the fact
that they are creating their own hell. Nothing better than
showing up to work with some one who’s gunning for a fight, will
start that fight, will fight that fight, will probably lose that
fight, and then blame you for it.
Just to say it up front…I like full figured ladies. I think the current “standard” of beauty is just totally dreadful. I think most guys agree. There is nothing as devastatingly sexy as a gal with all the right curves.
Hell I’d even go so far as to say that there is something attractive…even if it’s only one tiny thing about almost everyone.
That said…ladies there are some of you out there rocking clothes you should just know better than to even THINK about putting on. I’m a big guy…I know what it’s like to see a cool shirt or something that you’d love to wear, but it doesn’t come in the right size. I know what that feels like. I also understand that if it doesn’t fit…I shouldn’t wear it. If clothes don’t fit…you shouldn’t wear them. It’s not always a fair rule…but it’s one we should damn sure live by.
If every time you put on your favorite mid-drift tank, you can audibly hear it groan as the tensile strength of the cotton fibers are stretched to their breaking point…YOU SHOULD TAKE OFF THAT SHIRT AND PUT ON ONE APPROPRIATE FOR YOUR BODY!!!!
I take my own advice on this…believe me…if I raise my arms up in a T shirt and my gut is hit with a draft of air because the tail of the shirt doesn’t have the reach to keep me covered…I THROW THE @#$#ING SHIRT AWAY!!!!
You don’t look hot abusing a shirt or jeans or sweats two sizes too small. You look horrible, sometimes offensive, and you’re making yourself look worse. Some bodies were made to be exposed…some were born to know modesty…if you’re in the latter group…SUCK IT UP…DRESS APPROPRIATELY…BE BEAUTIFUL IN SOMETHING APPROPRIATE FOR YOUR SHAPE AND SIZE!
When I was in college between and during classes I would hear people spout off about all manner of political ideology. It’s to be expected in that arena. But if I had a dollar for every time I’d see or hear something like this I’d be a damn millionaire…or at least a respectable thousand-aire. The thing that concerns me about when someone attractive does it, is this: Less intelligent people are willing to listen to attractive people and believe them just because they are attractive. The world is full of idiots and we can’t let the good looking ones tell us how to vote.
This summer my wife and I took the kids up to the Black Hills of South Dakota, easily one of the most beautiful places on Earth, and really the only place I feel totally at home. I don’t know what’s going on up there, but that trip inspired a half a dozen of these little cartoons.
This particular one happened exactly as you see it. We were at Roughlock Falls and my son was feeling hot. There was this little dock ostensibly built to dangle your feet into the water from. So I told my boy we’d do just that and it would help him cool down.
No sooner did we get out shoes and socks off, as this 80 plus year old fart took what will probably be the last 100 yard dash of his life, to scream at me for putting my feet in the water. No problem for my son, but my feet were going to as he put it “pollute the whole world.”
I stare at this old guy trying to figure out if he’s nuts, or kidding, or….really f*cking nuts.
PS. There is nothing wrong with my feet.
I just say, “Thanks for the thought, ya weird old fart.” I turn and take a seat by my son and start kicking around in the water. The old guy is now joined by his wife, who didn’t have the sprint that her husband made to stop me from cooling off left in her. He stands there scowling at the back of my head for the full five minutes we’re playing in the water. His wife takes a picture of me.
If the guy was crazy I don’t feel the slightest bit sorry about calling a stranger a weird old fart.
If he was just trying to joke around, I still don’t feel bad. Just because you’re holding onto life with white knuckles doesn’t mean that everyone around you wants to engage in your weird aggressive style of joking around.
Being an off putting bully isn’t cool no matter how old you are
I don’t know what goes on in the women’s room. No clue. I assume pooping and peeing. Other than that I don’t even venture. But for every male on the planet…you really should know this…it’s something I will teach my children and something your father’s or father figures should have taught you. NEVER….EVER….EVER…I CAN’T STRESS EVER ENOUGH….I’ll try….EEEEHHHH….VVVVVUH….RRRRRRR talk to another man while you’re both doing business of any kind in the bathroom. In passing you can nod or exchange monosyllabic grunts of acknowledgement but other than that…KEEP YOUR DAMN MOUTHS SHUT IN THE SH!TTER!
I don’t want to get off on a whole bathroom tangent…it’s just well when you’re rolling you keep rolling. One of the things this fellow is saying I over heard a kid belting out when I was in Junior High…the killing it part I heard last week at work. I don’t know if these dudes don’t think anyone is listening or if they are just insane. If you’re not insane you’re creepy as hell and you need to know that. If you’re insane…it’s still creepy as hell.
Something that my dad taught me when playing a game he called “Let’s see who can hit the softest,” was never go first. Because just like my dad wailed on me after I lightly tapped him in the shoulder…when you tell a douche bag a story he’s going to have to top you. It’s in his DNA. He can’t help it. But you can. Don’t talk to douche bags.
I spent two and a half of the worst years of my life working for a woman with this attitude. Seriously the way she introduced herself was not that much different from what’s stated above. She was “The Bitch.” If she was a man she would be an asshole (sound familiar?). She didn’t take any shit. She did what she wanted. If she didn’t like someone else’s idea she wasn’t going to have any part of it, if she did she’d make everyone else think it was hers. She was willing to dig in and sling mud and do all the crappy things that the assholes do. She made decisions people might not like, and if people were going to call her a bitch she was fine with that. Because that’s what she was.
Are you kidding me? What kind of twisted bullshit is that?
You’re going to be a rotten, mean spirited, nightmare and it’s all cool because you call yourself “THE BITCH.”
Ladies…I ask you…is being “The Bitch?” what you want? Why not just be a decent person? Why not behave and interact like someone who doesn’t just want to be hated and make other people miserable?!?
I’m not saying bend or buckle or give in to everyone else…far from it. But conduct yourself with the respect you want others to conduct themselves with when dealing with you.
Acting like a jerk on purpose whether your a man or a woman is totally deplorable. It’s crappy, childish, and shows you to be incapable of rational adult interaction. Doing it because the lowest common denominator of men….the assholes…do it is as stupid as jumping off a bridge because all the other @#$#ing idiots are.
Grow up, shape up give acting like an adult or at least a rational human being a try. You might find that tactics aside from lying, backstabbing, and out right cheating under the guise of being “The Bitch,” might get you a lot farther than you think they will.
I get caught in this situation…ALL THE TIME. What the hell is it with people thinking that right in front of the Goddamn door is the best spot ever for a catch up…getting to know you chat…family introduction….long good bye…or just general long useless bullshit chat?!?
I used to just kind of make annoyed noises when I’d find myself trapped behind these inconsiderate morons, but over the last five or so years my aggression has escalated in a big way. Much to my wife’s horror.
Most recently it happened at the rec center in the town I live in. I was trying to exit the building after a great work out in the gym. As I got to the door a group of no less than eight people were just standing there. Laughing away totally oblivious to myself waiting to leave and to the three or four people outside waiting to come in.