Will It Kill You to Just Say Yes?
by Georgia Ho
Smashwords Edition
Copyright © 2011 Georgia Ho
All Rights Reserved
Book Design by http://www.wattpad.com/user/GUMBiiE
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, events, and locations are fictitious or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual persons or events, living or dead, are entirely coincidental.
This file is licensed for private individual entertainment only. The book contained herein constitutes a copyrighted work and may not be reproduced, stored in or introduced into an information retrieval system or transmitted in any form or by any means (electrical, mechanical, photographic, audio recording, or otherwise) for any reason (excepting the uses permitted to the licensee by copyright law under terms of fair use) without the specific written permission of the author.
Text Short, You Idiot
I catch myself stealing glances at him. He's sitting just a few tables away from me, reading... well reading something. I'm too far away to know, okay? And I can't possibly move closer just to find out the title of the book he's reading!
I must stop staring before he catches me. Before anyone catches me really. I cannot afford to let anyone know that I still have the slightest inkling of a bit of a crush on him... especially not HIM.
Because there's no way he'll like me back. He said so himself... well, more like he texted that because I was being a coward and couldn't go and talk to him about it. Instead I typed out 160 characters and pressed send at like 1am in the morning. I mean, what kind of answer was I expecting, really? Yes? No one would say yes at 1AM IN THE MORNING.
Especially not with a text like this: I have feelings for you. Like real feelings.. I'm not making any sense. What I'm trying to say is that I like you. And I hope you do too. <3
First of all, I should have totally put 3 periods behind 'feelings' but I was trying to save on characters. Secondly, what is up with the '<3'? What am I trying to do, act cute? Now not only am I totally embarrassed by what I wrote, my heart has this emoticon to look for '</3'. That's right! It's broken. As it should be. My heart should be dead when it concerns him, but it isn't.
Because his answer said so.
I still can't bring myself to delete that text, even though the answer is not what I wanted. This is what he said (well, texted, but whatever): I don't.
And that's all. And 1 month later, I'm still not over him. Case in point: We're in the library now, and I. Am. Still. Staring. At. Him.
This is not a good thing. This is SO not a good thing.
Oh shoot he caught me staring. Act stupid! Wait - wha? NO, I mean act pretty! BE A VASE. Come on now Min!
I sweep my fringe behind my ear, and discreetly (I hope) take out a pretty hair clip to make sure my hair STAYS BEHIND MY EAR.
It's silver and it's in a shape of a heart! What more can I ask for in front of the man who broke my own beautiful heart? Why did I just -
"Hi Min," he says oh so smoothly, hovering dangerously over my books I spread over my table.
I give him a sweet smile, and say, "Oh hello Joshua! I didn't see you there!" LIE. YOU LIE MIN YOU ARE SUCH A LIAR.
My hero, of course, catches me in the act, but luckily for me, he doesn't expose me. Instead he raises his left eyebrow... or is it right eyebrow. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO KNOW? I'm stressed out from him keeping his gaze on me for so long.
"Why are you staring at me, Joshua?" Ha! One up for for catching him and saying his name! Though why I can't think his name huh? I am strange that way.
"Because you stared at me."
"No I didn't," I say, and lower my gaze. LIAR LIAR LIAR. I even see neon lights above his head with LIAR flashing in red. I must be losing it.
Instead of backing off, my hero here says, "Admit it, Min, you did."
"Will you stop calling me 'Min'?" I say. Wait. What did I just -
"But that's your name." Yeah it is my name. My name is Song Hye Min, and I am not Korean. My mum just has an obsession with Korean Dramas, that's all. Now how am I going to get out of this mess?
Aha! I'm not going to say anything. Besides, the guy broke my heart. My beautiful, wonderful, magical... there I go again. Anyway. I have the liberty to remain silence in the court of love. Or something.
"It's your name, Song Hye Min." Dang it. Make fun of me while I keep my oath of silence, won't you?
I give him my best glare, and go back to... argh I have nothing to go back to because I WAS staring at him.
"Fine," I mumble.
"What?" Oh he's good, this boy is. As am I not making grammatical sense.
"Fine," I say, succumbing to his evil scheme, "I was staring. Happy?"
If this was one of those Korean Dramas my mum is so addicted to, my hero would grab me and embrace me and confess his undying love to me.
But it's not, so he just goes, "Yea. Stop doing it. It's creepy." And leaves, patting my chair three times. (I counted. What?) So much for believing in romance, MIN. This means you really should get over the guy. He's a creep!
I stare at his back moving further and further away from me because I can't help staring at him. Just before he sits down, however, I pack up my stuff, pulling my gaze away from him. It's no point really. He doesn't like me.
Holding all my books with one arm, I push my chair in, when I notice something stuck to the back of it.
"Keep staring," the note says, "I don't know what I'll do if you don't. Dinner at 7?"
I peel the sticky note off the chair, baffled at his words. I look up, but he's not looking back at me. It's as if he didn't write the note, but he did. I know he did.
I don't know if it's another way of mocking me, but I notice something else on the back of the note.
'My reply was supposed to be: 'I don't think I could ever say no.' But I accidentally clicked on 'Send', and you never replied.'
If this was yet another Korean Drama, I would go over and scream at him for being such a jerk for 1 whole freaking month (31 days, I counted) and never doing anything to rectify his mistake, but it's not 'Dramaland' I live in.
This is what happens in the real world: I go over, and I kiss him. I'm not going to say where. He just stares at me bewilderedly. I shocked him! I am that awesome.
And this is what I say to him, "Would it kill you to just say 'Yes'?"
I call him '바보 (pabo)', something I learnt from watching so many Korean Dramas with my mum. Because he's stupid for not keeping his texts short. And he knows it.
Dinner Complaints
So. Dinner at 7 huh. After my very passionate kiss with my hero, I set off for home to look for something to wear.
Then I realise something that will ruin my dinner date: I HAVE NOTHING TO WEAR. I'm not naked you idiot. I just don't have any nice clothes. That I can wear. For dinner.
So I decide something that's absolutely genius of me. I will wear what I'm wearing now, and force him not to go to that fancy restaurant... he didn't say he'll bring me to a fancy restaurant. Cheapo.
Oh my gosh he is such a cheapo. C.H.E.A.P.O. Why am I still referring to him as HE? He's mine now! His name is Josss - JOASH - Joashed - Oh great. I can't even say his name in my head.
J.O.S.H.U.A. There. Joash.
I take out my phone and text him. This time his phone better not go wonky on me. Or else. See the feet of Min flying through the air!
'Hey Joash. Where are we going for dinner?' I type, proud of myself for crowning him his new and improved name.
Joash, thankfully for his phone, replies: I thought you might like Korean.
Me? Like? Some? Korean? Food? I smile mirthlessly, sending this to the 'air-above-me' space: 'Oh Joash, you're so sweet for remembering my fake Korean heritage. :)'
My smart hero does the smart thing. He calls.
"Min, what do you mean 'fake Korean heritage'? My mum always wanted me to date a Korean girl!" I roll my eyes at his nervous frustration. Oh the nerve of him!
"Min?" he says, sounding oh so terrified.
"What?" I say, my tone dangerously saccharine sweet. I bite back all the different vulgarities I want to shower him with. Korean? Me? I hate my mum.
There's a long and painful pause at his end.
"What?" I say again, this time not so sweetly.
"I know you're not Korean. I'm just kidding."
I could kill him! He thinks I'm Korean! Just because of my name! His mum wants him to meet a Korean girl? GO TO KOREA AND FIND ONE FOR ALL I CARE. Shit I said that out loud.
"Did you hear what I said, Min?" he says like I'm some kind of blubbering idiot, "I said, "I know you're NOT KOREAN." Hello? Min?"
He dares to emphasise on those two words? Now I'm pissed. You better watch out when I'm pissed, boy. Nothing good's gonna come your way.
"Ugh," is all I come up with.
"So..." he chuckles (ugh how dare he!), "I take it you don't want Korean?"
"No," I pout.
"What do you want then?"
"Cook me dinner."
"I cook, and you'll taste the most disgusting dinner you ever had," he says.
"I don't care. YOU OWE ME." I tell him, and hang up, completely satisfied with myself.
Now I only have to decide what to wear - my favourite T-shirt and shorts. That was easy.
The Wait is Agony
I settle comfortably in between two pillows on my sofa as I wait for my hero to arrive. Joash called me back and told me that we're not going to eat at my place, which is disappointing because I am in love with the two pillows on my sofa.
One of them is red and the other is turquoise and they have special stains on them because my mum can't get out the coffee stains I stained both the pillows with. Ha! My coffee - ahem I mean my hazelnut and cocoa decaf latte with soy and caramel sauce (Yum. Sweetness.) - is a great tasting stain for everyone who likes their pillows to have something extra. I know I do!
So, I'm in between my two favourite Caffè cushions as I await the arrival of my new favourite person on Earth. (Previously it was my MacBook. Shh. He can hear that you say he isn't human you know.) It's like 6:55pm now. He better not be late, J.O.S.H.U.A.
My phone beeps. Oooh a new text!
'Min - open the door.'
Ugh. New boyfriend is so bossy. Why is he so bossy?
I run to the door and fix my hair and dab on a bit of make up. (Who says I can't look pretty enough to be made out with just because I'm in my Tee and shorts?)
He stands in the doorway like a cute idiot. (I know 'cause I peeped through the eye hole thing.) I open the door. (I made him wait! Boy am I evil.) And he gives me a yummy kiss on the cheek. WHY CHEEK? I demand more. But before I can do anything else, my hero invites himself in.
Hey wait. I thought we weren't going to have dinner here.
I tell him that, and he gives me a look that keeps me quiet.
"I have to say hi to your parents before running away with you. They should know you're safe." And he winks at me. Oooh. We're going to go to a back alley and have dinner. Or maybe not.
AWW. MY SAVIOUR!
I give him a look that says that I'm not very happy with the waiting and go plonk myself on the sofa again, hugging the turquoise pillow.
"Hurry up, I'm hungry," I tell him, my voice completely muffled by the pillow I'm burying my face in. It smells heavenly. I think I can eat this and be full.
Normally a girl will go to her parents and introduce her new boyfriend and all, but I'm lazy. He can introduce himself all he wants.
"My dad's in the study," I inform him.
"How 'bout your mum?" he asks.
"My mum? Probably watching a Korean Drama on my Mac."
I continue stuffing my face into my tantalising pillow as I try to eavesdrop on their convo. I hear bits and pieces, so I shift myself to the door to hear what evil scheme he's planning - this time with my own father. THE BETRAYER.
"So your name is Joshua Huang?" my dad interrogates like a pro.
"Yes Sir."
HA. I think Joash here watches too many American Dramas. Sir? My dad's an artist. Who happens to like to have his study look like an office of a high ranking police officer. He's not really a police officer, Joash! I mean, he does Chinese calligraphy!
"What time will you bring Hui Min home?" Hui Min is my Chinese name. Even though my dad allowed my mum to name me ridiculously, he still stubbornly calls me in Chinese. He's strange that way.
"10, Sir."
Aww dang. We're not going to go to some pub and drink and come home wasted? DANG DANG DANG. (Okay fine. I'm not really that interested in getting wasted on a first date anyway.)
I peek inside, and see my dad try to be authoritative. It's quite funny how he cocks his head to the left because he believes it makes him seem more fierce than he actually is.
He's nodding now, and I turn to continue hiding. I try to contain my laughter outside. But I fail. Terribly.
"I know you're out there, Hui Min." Busted!
I go in, taking small steps sheepishly towards the duo.
"Hi Dad." I say.
"Hello," he replies.
There's this long stretch of silence during which I look at my nails (boy are they dirty), fiddle with a strand of hair that's out of place, and make sure my phone and wallet's in my pocket. I exchange a glance with Joash. Erm... okay? Can I go now, Dad?
"Bye Dad," I say, going to his chair to give him a hug.
"Don't worry," I whisper with a tinge of irony, "We won't have sex."
He rolls his eyes at my sarcastic joke. Ah my dad, ever the funny man. Okay maybe my joke wasn't that funny.
"Oh, and tell mum we say hi!"
I grab Joash's hand, and make a run for it before he suggests visiting my mum at my MacBook. Not only will I never get him out of there because
a) my mum will not pay attention to anything else once there's a Korean Drama playing in front of her eyes,
and b) Joash will not leave until he makes sure she knows 'I Am Safe',
I will never have any food during this date because the both of them will not have interaction for hours, assuring that I will be starved to death.
"So where are we going?" I ask Joash once we're safely out of the house, my hand still in his. I like it there. It's nice having something to hold. "And what did you cook?"
He says nothing for a while. Then the guy looks at me mock ominously and says in a deep announcer voice, "It's a surprise."
Where are we GOING?
If there's one thing that I really, really hate, it's not knowing what's going to happen next. I mean, really. If the the next minute is the last minute of my life, I'd like to be kept in the loop, thank you very much.
I'll spend my last minute... as wisely as I can. I press the button at the lift lobby, making sure my grip on Joash is tight. He's not getting away, this one.
"Are you sure we don't need to - "
"No."
"But your mum - " he protests.
"No way," I say, pulling him inside the lift. It's just the two of us. How awkward. I should kiss him now. There's like 20 stories before we reach ground floor.
"What are you thinking about, Min?" Joash says cautiously.
"Nothing," I say, trying hard to not look at... No! No no no. If my neighbour comes in and sees.. worse, if the security guard sees us. No. Just no. Resist, Min! Resist!
Joash smiles cheekily to himself. I loosen my grip, but he takes my hand back swiftly. The smart butt synonym.
A foolish smile creeps on my face too. I can't help it. I just feel happy. Except I want to kiss him so badly but I can't.
The lift finally reaches ground floor. I tug on Joash's hand, causing him to run with me.
"Why are we running?" he sort of shouts over the traffic outside, full of people coming home from work.
"Because I can't wait any longer! I'm hungry!" For your lips, my brain continues. Oh God. No. Not here, Min. Stop. Thinking. About. It.
I'm actually also hungry for actual food, remember? Food. Save me please.
"Do you actually know where we're going for the date?" he asks over the continued commotion.
Good point.
"No," I admit.
He starts running in front of me, and this time I'm the one being pulled along.
"Then let me lead."
We run a few blocks, and Joash grabs a taxi. Why didn't we think of taking a cab earlier? Gosh we are such dimwits.
I don't hear what Joash tells the taxi driver because he very cleverly put earphones in my ears, blasting loud music from his iPod, before pushing me in the cab.
All I know is that he said, "Uncle." Uncle, something, something else. What? I'm not a professional lip reader. I continue to observe him as he puts on his seat belt. I, being pro, put on mine already.
The taxi starts moving. I don't know if I can take my earphones off, or if I can even try to lower the volume, so I don't try. (I think by the end of this date I'm going to be deaf. And it's all your fault, Joash. Humph.)
I watch as the scenery passes me by. Trees, trees, more trees. Oh is that where we're going? The house is - oh. We're passing it. Dang.
He takes off one of my earphones. Oh, so it's safe now?
"You haven't answered my question you know," I inform him.
He blatantly ignores my statement, and fixes my hair instead.
"You're all messy," he laughs. I swear he gets on my nerves. In a good way, of course. Otherwise I won't be in this taxi now.
I make a face at him to express my displeasure at his teasing when he says, "We're here."
WE'RE HERE? WHERE ARE WE?
My Food is HERE
I scramble to the window. (There wasn't much scrambling anyway.) Outside is the most beautiful field I've ever seen in my life. There's a speck of light at the far end of the field. It's pretty! I want to go to it. I squint, and realise the speck of light is too far away for me to run there without feeling tired. Oh well. Never mind.
The cab winds to a stop, and I toss off the seatbelt like it was weightless, and wasn't holding me down just minutes earlier. I fling the door open, and run outside.
Joash, of course, is paying the cab driver while I run around the field like a mad woman. That's why he's my hero, see. I make a mental note to ask him how much the cab fare was, but I know I'll forget that in a jiffy.
Especially when the food arrives. I probably even forget my own name. Even if it tastes like crab. I mean crap.
"Min!" he exclaims as he catches me. I ran straight into him, clumsy me.
"Whoops," I say, and kiss his lips lightly before running off. Score! I have satisfied my hunger.
He just stands there, because knowing me, I'll probably exhaust myself sooner or later.
I do, so I sit down in the middle of the field, not bothering to go to the light. I am not a bug. I don't feel myself getting drawn in by the light. In fact, the speck of light bothers me. It's dark, but I can see the stars, and that light is killing the joy the stars are giving me.
"What are we having for dinner?" I shout across the field. Joash walks over, and sits beside me.
I lean on his shoulder, closing my eyes. I'm completely drained.
"My legs are like jelly," I murmur.
"What?"
"I said, "My legs are like jelly," I repeated, "I can't move. I think you have to carry me to wherever dinner is. Or if dinner can appear here, that's okay too."
"I'm not going to carry you," he says matter-of-factly.
"Why not?"
"Because you're heavy," he smirks. I just know it. I can FEEL THE SMIRK.
My eyes fly open at that. "Am not!" Confirmed: the guy is smirking.
He just ignores my protests again. This is a smart one. Which is why it took him one month to tell me what I wanted to know. But it's okay. I'm comfortable with him now that we're here.
"Why did it take so long, Joshua?"
What? Just because I said I was comfortable doesn't mean I didn't want to know.
"I had to make sure you weren't joking," he says.
"But I wasn't," I pout.
He sighs, "It's hard to tell with you."
True.
"So when did you start liking me back?" I ask, shutting my eyes again. Dang. I shouldn't have ran around like a maniac. I'm tired. And I would put a :( behind that if this wasn't my brain I was talking to... or thinking of. Something like that.
"I liked you first," he says.
"Liar," I cut in.
But he takes back 'speaking control' again.
"I'm not lying, Min. I like you because you don't have any expectations."
I don't? I have expectations on food. And boys. If I didn't have any expectations I would have liked Alex, who picks his nose at least 10 times a day. Maybe even 50.
I want to tell him that, but he vanishes. Pulling the disappearing act on me? I don't think so.
"Joash?" I call. "Jo-a-sh!" I look around in mock panic. Secretly I'm rather proud of my acting skills.
"Joshua, I don't like to be alone," I say louder than before. I'm not lying. I really don't like to be alone. But I know he's around here somewhere, so I don't actually feel scared.
A few minutes later, when he still hasn't come back, I start feeling terrified. Really, really terrified.
"Joshua!" I call. I don't actually move from my spot, but I stand. This place is bare. Did I say this was the most beautiful field I've ever seen? Well, I take that back. There's nothing beautiful about it now. The sky is dark, and the only lights here are the stars above me. Well, that and the speck -
Wait there's no speck.
Oh crap. I am in deep hot boiling corn soup. I am going to die.
"JOSHUA!" I scream with all my might.
IamgoingtodieIamgoingtodieIamgoingtodieIamgoingtodieIamgoingtodieIamgoingtodieIAMGOINGTODIE.
"WHAT?"
OH THANK GOD HE'S ALIVE AND THERE ARE NO SERIAL KILLERS HERE.
"COME BACK NOW," I scream some more. I can feel my throat getting hoarse. Dang you Joash.
I see him coming closer, bringing the speck of light with him. Then I realise that the speck of light is a plate of candle that illuminates his path, and that he's holding something else in his other hand.
"You said you didn't want to move," he tells me, like it's my fault that the mat had to be moved and the candles had to come with it. Couldn't he have set it up closer to where I was? I mean, the speck of light was FAR. I am not walking that distance, boy.
"Didn't you hear that I didn't like to be alone?" I complain.
He nods. What? He knows?
"Then why didn't you come back quickly?"
"You were okay the first fifteen minutes," he tells me, "Besides, aren't I here now?"
He lays out the mat, and places the cooler bag that he was balancing on his arm on it. Then the puts the candles down.
"Is there any service here? I need to tell my dad that I didn't die," I say sourly. He didn't even give me a hug to calm my nerves. The boy is evil. He is my hero no more.
"Why don't you check it yourself," he says, continuing setting up his little picnic. There's that smirk again. It's irking me, that smirk is.
Well, Joash, have your picnic alone!
I take out my phone and text my dad: I am okay. Not dead. Having dinner. Finally.
"Min," he says after a lapse of silence during which I curse him for leaving me alone, prodding my shoulder.
I snap at him, "What."
"Dinner is served," he kisses my cheek. Again? I pull him closer, and kiss him on the lips. What is up with this boy and lips? Does he need help spelling it out? It's L.I.P.S. Lips.
He takes out two sandwiches from the cooler bag.
"It's the only thing I know how to make," he says a little apologetically.
I move onto the mat with him, moving back to our position earlier, laying my head on his shoulder. I won't say that 'it fits' because it's cliché, but it's comfortable. And I like it there.
"That's okay," I say, taking off the cling wrap and taking a bite. The coolness of the cucumbers and the juicy tomatoes and ham satisfies my taste buds.
Best dinner ever!
###
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Georgia Ho
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