Special Smashwords Edition
Animal Tails
‘The Goat Who Lived in a Tree
and Other Dumb Ideas’
~ In Rhyme ~
by
K.C. Remington
For my friends
NYA and JADA
~ THE DRAGONFLY'S ADVICE ~
~ THE GOAT WHO LIVED IN A TREE ~
~ BETTY BEAR'S BAD DREAM ~
~ BENNY'S ITCH ~
~ PASTOR SQUIRREL AND THE ANGEL ~
~ THE BLUEBIRD'S BLUNDER ~
~ BOBO AND THE JUNE BUG ~
~ HAPPIER DAYS ~
~ THE PRINCESS OF THE CLOUDS ~
~ SANTA AND THE CHURCHMOUSE ~
~ YOU'RE NEEDED IN PARIS! ~
~ SAILOR JACK ~
~ THE DRAGONFLY'S ADVICE ~
There once was a beaver who lived with a goat
But the poor goat had a frog in his throat
Night after night he'd go 'Croak, croak, croak'
The beaver couldn't sleep and was beyond despair
He said to the goat, 'Can't we conclude this affair?'
The goat said, 'Truely it isn't me
'Do you think I want this problem for eternity?'
The beaver was understanding and said, 'No my friend
'But I'd sure like this croaking to come to an end.'
He said, 'Open your mouth, let me look down there.'
But when he did there was a blast of foul air.
'My God!' said the beaver, 'What have you been eating!?'
'Its not me!' said the goat, 'it's the frog that's bleating!'
Wizened minds have been confronted with problems more severe
But our two friends took this like a puzzle by Shakespeare
'What are we going to do,' the beaver said, 'to get it out?'
'I don't know,' said the goat, 'how about some sauerkraut?'
'NO! that's what you like,' the beaver responded
'Let's give him something he likes and will be taunted.'
Then the frog sang up from the poor goat's mouth
That sounded if it came after a long long drought
'Do you really think I like living in here?
'This goat will eat anything, even a brassiere.'
'He eats weeds and garbage and even more of such
'And I consider it all a bit too much
'Please dangle a firefly or a big gypsy moth
'And I will find good reason to sail aloft.'
After their astonishment the beaver and goat did flee
Down to the lily pond to find an evacuee
When they trapped a dragonfly to use as the frog's bait
He said, 'Wait a minute!
'I've known this frog forever since his birthdate.'
'He's a user and a kniver and never to be trusted
'He'll use you up until your friendship is busted'
He whispered to the beaver who quickly lent his ear
'If you want out of this mess you'll to my plan adhere
'I tell you old friend, don't take me to him
'Rather dangle your goat from a short tree limb
'Then pound his stomach over this lily pond
'And you'll find your frog will soon be long gone'
The beaver then scratched his furry head
And thought of the advice that dragonfly said
May the possibly put his problem to bed?
So being of dim wit and not much else on his mind
(No thoughts ever came to him that will spellbind)
He tied up the poor goat on the aforesaid limb
(He being the complete unwilling victim)
And pounded until the frog came out of him
SPLASH!
'OK I got the point,' in the pond the frog did say
'But you believed a dragonfly on this fine fair day?
'I didn't design this, I didn't have a plan
'The goat ate me while I was in an old tin can!
'And what did the dragonfly gain from thus?
'Another day on the pond and his calmness'
The beaver again scratched his furry little head
But his problem was solved and he could go back to bed
Without the croaking of that nuisance frog
His sleep in the night would finally be unclogged
So he and the goat layed down snoring galore
A new sweet slumber being their amour
Then the stars and clouds drifted over their heads
And pleasant dreams soon opened their wingspreads
That night the frog found his freedom on a lily pad
And the dragonfly again found the life he had
As the moon came up for all to see
And all of them rested
Peacefully.
***
~ THE GOAT WHO LIVED IN A TREE ~
There once was a goat who lived in a tree
Can you imagine? A goat's aerie?
What woud ever bring one to that thought
What misadventure had it brought?
'A goat in a tree? A goat in a tree?'
All of the animals thought, 'Oh God bless me.'
But there he sat, day after day
Chewing on the leaves that came his way
Munch, munch, munch, chew, chew, chew
He even liked the branches and their fine sinew
But this had been going on for far too long
All of the animals gathered around in a throng
'Hey ol' goat what are you doing up there?'
Doctor Owl asked with the other's care
'If you keep eating away at your tree
'Pretty soon then there'll be nothing
'And then where will you be?'
The goat being of a very impractical type
Said, 'I really don't have a gripe
'I've been harassed by foxes for too long
'And in their stomaches I don't belong
'So I've found myself this nice little tree
'Where they can never ever get at me'
'Oh Mr Goat,' Doctor Owl said
'We have the same problems, put them to bed!
'The foxes are a pretty but dastardly crew
'C'mon down and we'll protect you!'
The goat took this into advice
But being of dim wit he had to think twice
"Oh Goat,' Doctor Owl said, 'I see the opinion you seek
'Is the one you like in the least!'
Now the goat had even more to ponder
And his mind crept up over hills and yonder
For what goes on in a billy goat's mind
That hasn't been improved on since the beginning of time
It was a standoff between the goat and the crowd
Before Mister Fox came and shouted out loud
'I'VE NO MORE INTEREST IN THIS FAT BILLY GOAT!
'I'VE BECOME A VEGETARIAN, YOU SHOULD NOTE!
'I'M NO LONGER A MAN OF THE FLESH!
'BRING HIM ON DOWN AND PUT ME TO THE TEST!'
This caused consternation throughout the crowd
Could it be true what the fox avowed?
Him only eating leaves and greens?
Was it as true as it seemed?
'OK Mister Fox,' Doctor Owl cautiously said
'We're going to put you eating goats back to bed.'
'THAT'S RIGHT!' said the fox with a sly smile
One as sweet to the Sphinx beguile
So the goat climbed down from his tree
And the whole crowd shouted with a jubilant glee
But how can you contain a fox's true nature
When he has only his pretty little acre
As soon as the goat's feet hit the ground
The fox was after him all abound
The goat ran off and the fox gave chase
And all the others joined the race
What's to be learned in this sad tale?
When a fox says something
'The check is in the mail.'
***
~ BETTY BEAR'S BAD DREAM ~
Betty Bear went off to pick her pretty fall flowers
But here in October what eyes on her glowered
Wait, wait, wait! Isn't this too soon
For something to happen on a Sunday afternoon?
Even though Halloween may be tonight
The sun was still up, although taking flight
Betty Bear without a care was only having fun
And wouldn't stop picking until her basket was done
'A blue one, a red one, a yellow one too
'Off to my basket, then I am through'
Now she had it, her basket was full