ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
Firstly to my wonderful husband Dave, without who there would be no book. He has been a constant source of love and support to me even taking extra baby sitting duties to enable me to finish this.
On that same note I must thank my gorgeous baby Cole (the subject of my next book. The True Diary of a Mum to be) for being so good especially when his meanie mummy wouldn’t let him play with the computer mouse.
To all our family and friends for their support and willingness to go along with all our hair brained ideas.
Huge thanks to Ray our Humanist Minister for the heartfelt ceremonies he conducted for us.
Thanks to our caterers Leith’s of Glyndebourne for being so accommodating and creating a fantastic veggie/vegan feast for us. Whilst on the subject of food, many thanks go to Terre a Terre in Brighton for our delicious chocolate wedding cake.
To the staff at The Royal Pavilion, Brighton for your supreme organisation in the face of adversity when it looked as if the bride may miss the ceremony.
To Stephen our photographer who has given us a book full of photos to treasure and to David for catching all the events of the day on video.
Many thanks to Deborah and Christine at The Ozone bridal store in Brighton for helping me to find the dress of my dreams and getting it to fit me perfectly.
Finally I mustn’t forget to thank my wonderful brother in law Doug for rising to the role of best man and to his partner Karen, my lovely maid of honour who managed to keep a cool enough head for the both of us when things didn’t go quite to plan.
To Dave with lots of love from your wife
To Doug and Karen, who since the writing of this book have caught the wedding bug themselves, congratulations on your engagement guys!
Contents Page
Introduction 1
Chapter 1 A French proposal, qui, qui, qui... 6
Chapter 2 Start spreading the news... 25
Chapter 3 In search of the dream dress... 36
Chapter 4 Wine sampling, hic!
Chapter 5 Honeymoon plans...
Chapter 6 My last Christmas as a Miss...
Chapter 7 The year of our wedding(s)...
Chapter 8 Cake and more cake...
Chapter 9 Food for thought...
Chapter 10 Charlie’s chicken night...
Chapter 11 Viva Las Vegas...
Chapter 12 Eating our way around America...
Chapter 13 I’m a Mrs...
Chapter 14 Brighton rocks...
Chapter 15 A year and a day later...
Chapter 16 The best bits...
Suppliers and useful websites
The true Diary of a Bride to be
Introduction
Congratulations on your engagement, you are about to embark upon one of the most exciting times of your life. Getting married is a huge leap from plodding along as partners, or girlfriend and boyfriend as we had been for some thirteen years. In fact as I was fast approaching forty, introducing Dave as my “boyfriend” seemed almost funny.
Personally I had always thought marriage was overrated and was decidedly of the opinion “If it isn’t broke why fix it?” I have since realised that it was more likely a response to the fact that I had never been asked and had therefore built a little protective barrier around myself that emitted a blasé attitude toward long term commitment.
My ex boyfriend came close to asking me years back, even presenting me with a small package, that as I excitedly ripped through the layers revealed a velvet ring box. It proved however to be his strange idea of a joke, as when I held my breath trying not to squeal with excitement and opened the box inside was not a ring but a single opal fruit and not even a nice flavour one at that!
Now I am a changed person and love all things wedding even the crazy months spent making plans that at times had me lying awake at night worrying about. When else will you have the opportunity to do exactly as you please, to be frivolous, and have a day that is all about you and your fiancé of course to some lesser degree!
Whether you decide to have a small intimate gathering or a huge wedding with the world and his wife invited along you will still give it a lot more thought than anything else that has happened in your life up till now. It’s like planning the biggest party you have ever hosted with a holiday and fancy clothes thrown in for good measure. For me up until our wedding the most I had ever organised was a surprise birthday party for Dave and a trip to Amsterdam. I must admit that for a total wedding virgin ( not in the literal sense), I can count on one hand the number of weddings I have been to in my life and two of them were when I was a small child so they hardly count. The good thing about that as it turned out was that I had nothing to make comparisons to so when planning our wedding we just threw caution to the wind and did what felt right for us.
As you read my diary you will note that we actually not only seized the marital baton but ran off with it with total abandon and disregard for any budgets and sensibleness. To be fair we were in the fortunate situation of having a lump of cash made from the sale of a flat from my student days. It should really have been earmarked for more practical uses but over the years the property had become a bit of a milestone around my neck. It was riddled with damp, both of the rising variety and at times the pouring through the ceiling kind. It was where I had spent time with my ex boyfriend and the place I had been unceremoniously dumped by him some seven years into our relationship. It seemed very appropriate therefore that Dave and I got rid of the past and moved foreword into our new future together by blowing an obscene, well to us anyway, amount of money on having the time of our lives.
There are many great books that focus on trying to help you save money and celebrate your wedding on a small budget but this is not one of those books. In fact if there were a prize for spending all the money in the savings pot and a little bit more I’m sure we would have won a very respectable silver medal.
I’m certainly not suggesting that you get yourselves into debt tying the knot but once you have looked at your finances try to plan something special that you will both remember forever, for all the right reasons that is. If your heart is crying out for that gorgeous diamante encrusted tiara that will transform you into a princess for the day but your head is trying to persuade you to go for a cheaper but less lovely option that will most likely break as soon as you put it on then I would always advise to follow your heart. I mean hearts and love that’s what weddings are all about, aren’t they? I have a friend who splashed out on a stunning tiara that still gets to see the light of day, long after her wedding day. If she is ever feeling a bit down she puts it on to do the housework, how fantastic is that!
There are some things that really are best not scrimping on, good food and drink is right up there as are the choice of clothes you wear on the day, they are after all what will make you either feel like a million dollars or hiding behind a large pot plant. I can honestly say I think we prioritised what mattered to us most and threw our money at it wholeheartedly, unreservedly and with no regrets. We did however save lots of money in other areas we didn’t feel so strongly about. Our hen and stag nights for example were fantastic fun but not expensive.
I never realised when we were planning our wedding (or should I say weddings as we did get carried away and ended up getting married twice, something I would highly recommend I might add), that it would change our lives so much. We had always been what other people would probably refer to as “lovey dovey” spending most days holding hands and kissing each other as frequently as possible. But from the day Dave proposed we were propelled into a whole new world of romance and previously unchartered waters. Even now I love it when Dave calls me his wife it makes me feel loved, cherished and special.
You may well find that like me you don’t start out with any clear idea of where, when or how you will get wed but you will find that things have a mysterious way of falling perfectly into place. We found that we both had a pretty clear idea of what we didn’t like but for a while were stumped as to what we did. By process of elimination and from the many ideas and suggestions tossed around by friends, family and total strangers we eventually created what was for us the perfect wedding. Books, films, music and the internet were fantastic sources of information and inspiration. My advice to you once again would be to do what your heart tells you and try not to be a people pleaser, which is definitely one of my downfalls. Your Great Auntie Maud may well be happy to attend your wedding at a local parish church but would throw her hands up in horror at the thought of attending an underwater scuba wedding, but if that’s what floats your boat go for it.
When I was little a gypsy fortune teller read my palm and told me I would get married twice. Call me superstitious but when I finally found the man of my dreams in Dave I certainly wasn’t going to take any chances, hence the two weddings. We decided to get legally wed in Vegas choosing an intimate and romantic gondola as our venue. At this point I might add we had thought it would just be the two of us there as Vegas is some distance to expect people to travel to. As it turned out several family and friends flew out to be with us on the big day, a couple of friends even joined us for the first part of our honeymoon!
Back in England we held our true wedding ceremony, a meaningful Blessing for friends and family in our favourite place, Brighton.
Whatever you decide to do, enjoy every moment and try to keep things in perspective. It is quite easy to let planning for your wedding totally take over your life, which is fine if you have a supportive fiancé and family who will indulge you in your constant ramblings about all things bridal. Try not to overdose however, I don’t know of anyone who enjoys being in the company of a total bridezilla.
This book is not intended to tell you how to plan your big day as that should most definitely be a decision you both make together based on your own unique circumstances. I have however included many tips and ideas that helped me along the way. I have kept a diary most of my adult life and this book is one hundred percent true, I hope you enjoy reading it as much as I did writing it and that your big day is everything you have dreamed of and more.
Chapter 1
A French Proposal Qui, qui, qui...
Monday 30th May
Day one of our French vacation, Dave and I are so excited it’s been years since we had a proper holiday so the next eight days are a chance for us to relax and reconnect. We have been meticulous with our itinerary in order to fit everything in. Us, our car and tent plan to make it to the South of France (Cannes to be precise) and back in just over a week.
When we got off the ferry at Boulogne we did encounter a few problems trying to get out of the city but eventually we made it to Paris. We had planned a meal in what the guide book described as the most romantic Vegetarian restaurant in town. However by the time we found it we realised eating would make us late for a show we had booked at the Lido so instead we went straight to our hotel, a delightful Louis IV style boutique hotel on the Champs Elyse’s to get ready.
The Lido was amazing, huge chandeliers bedecked the lobby; everything was so sparkly and glamorous. We were seated in a large booth with a fantastic view of the stage. A waiter brought over a bottle of champagne that was included in the ticket price, which on our empty stomachs soon had us pretty giggly. We don’t go out that often at home so it was lovely to get all dressed up and spend some quality time together. The show was great and we tumbled into bed some hours later absolutely exhausted.
Tuesday 31st May
The Parisian traffic roused us out of a deep sleep and we dragged ourselves out of the cosy bed in search of food. I was amazed to see a tramp outside a large department store with not only the obligatory dog but a cat and kitten as well. Dave had to practically drag me away; I’m such a sucker for kittens. Maybe the Big Issue sellers in London would sell more if they too had cute kittens in tow instead of the mangy looking dogs they seem to favour.
We took our lives into our hands driving around the Arc du Triumph, no mean feat in a Volvo that has aspirations to be a tank. At one point the traffic was six lanes deep all facing different directions and we found ourselves holding our breath as a motor bike squeezed past twanging our wing mirror on the way. We eventually got off the nightmare round about relatively unscathed where upon Dave managed to find a Volvo/tank size parking space within eyesight of the Eiffel Tower.
It actually turned out to be quite some walk before we were standing beneath its massive metal feet. Dave tried to persuade me to take a trip with him to the top but I was getting Vertigo just looking up if that’s possible. We stood there for a while soaking up the atmosphere and Dave gave me a kiss and a cuddle which was all very romantic. I asked him what he wanted to do next and to my astonishment he dropped to one knee and asked me to marry him! At first I thought he had stumbled and fallen over but as the realization of what was happening sunk in I was totally speechless for the first time in my life,( apart from when I lost my voice for a week and had to resort to writing notes that is). Dave swept me up into a hug and I started to cry with the emotion of overwhelming happiness. It was beyond a doubt the most romantic moment of my life. Dave put me down with a slightly concerned expression on his face as I hadn’t actually answered his question. Being that we are in France of course I had to say QUI!
For the rest of the day we were like loved up teenagers. It’s so weird we have always been very affectionate towards each other but somehow now as we hold hands it feels even more special, I just can’t believe we are engaged. We kept trying out the word fiancé for size, along with Mr and Mrs which had us giggling like a couple of kids.
It was hard tearing ourselves away from Paris it truly felt like there was magic in the air.
We drove from Paris to our first campsite between Lyon and Dijon, (I must remember to pick up some mustard). The site was called L’Epervie and is set in the beautiful grounds of a chateau. We pitched the tent besides a huge fir tree next to a lake; you couldn’t get more picture postcard if you tried. After a dinner of pizza in the chateau restaurant we snuggled up together in the tent with our mobiles at the ready to phone family with our news. I called my Dad first, he already knew as Dave had asked for his blessing back in March. I was so touched at how romantic, traditional and not to mention sneaky Dave has been. I am also amazed he had kept it a surprise as he is usually really bad at keeping secrets. Dad joked that it had been such a long time since Dave had asked him that he thought he had chickened out. My Mum was thrilled as were my sisters George and Jess. Dave’s mum was really funny, after Dave told her he had proposed to me she carried on talking for a while then when the penny dropped she suddenly screamed “You did what?”
It was so much fun spreading good news. It took ages to calm down enough to go to sleep. I feel happiness radiating out of every part of my body.
Wednesday 1st June
We spent the morning by the pool, even though it was glorious weather the place was deserted so it felt like our own personal area. Dave went on run and was gone ages, so long in fact that we missed the check out time. As the time passed I got more and more worried. I hunted through our rather rudimentary phrasebook looking for something to tell the reception staff. Not surprisingly there were no entries saying “My fiancé went for a run and hasn’t returned yet” so I had to resort to a mime. They assured me that it was fine and we wouldn’t be charged any extra. I returned to our camp and wrestled with packing the tent and our belongings (Why is it that things never fold up the same way they came out, it’s one of life’s little mysteries along with missing socks and toast always falling butter side down).
Dave eventually came back all sweaty with a crazy tale of how he must have disturbed a bird of prey as it had dive bombed him on his outward run. He tried to come back a different way but the bird spotted him and bombed him again. This time forcing him to lie on the ground as its talons grazed through his hair. My relief that he was okay was soon replaced by my slightly wicked side. As we drove away from the campsite I wound the sun roof open, waved a stick of bread out of it and made bird noises. Dave was not amused.
We continued our drive south to Bedoin near Orange, which is a beautiful area with views of the mountains and a slightly Spanish feel to the landscape.
Once we had checked in to our next campsite I noticed the slightest of details I had missed when I made the booking. It’s a Naturist campsite! I had wrongly translated “Domain natural” as area of natural beauty. (French was never my best subject at school) We were hot, tired and hungry from our drive and desperate to get out the car so decided when in Rome and whipped our clothes off.
It was strange at first as we made our way to the pool with towels strategically placed, not sure where to look, but after about half an hour it felt quite natural. We don’t need to worry about unsightly swimwear lines as we tan by the pool. No big decisions what to wear and best of all no laundry. I think I may well be a natural naturist.
Thursday 2nd June
We spent a lovely relaxing morning by the swimming pool again. It’s really stunning here, the scenery that is and not the strange assortment of willies and boobs that keep wobbling past us. It was actually quite a wrench to have to put clothes on again to continue our drive to Nice.
By early afternoon we had reached our destination, the sea sparkled in a tantalising way begging us to come take a dip as we baked in a traffic jam in our non air conditioned tank. We decided to keep going rather than struggle to find a parking space in the busy city so we continued driving towards Monaco. Talk about seeing how the other half live, all around us were stunning villas perched in the hillsides .My guide book recommended a visit to the villa and gardens of Ephrussi Rothschild near Monaco. The villa was amazing it looked like a giant pink cake and was a gift to Ephrussi from her husband. Dave promised me if he ever comes up on the Lotto he will get me a pink villa too. The gardens were all themed, from Roman style to tropical rainforest, cactus and even a fragrant rose garden. We took a silly amount of photos before heading off to Monte Carlo where everything is incredibly opulent even the car park. After changing into some tidy clothes we hit the Casino of Monte Carlo where we blew some money on the one armed bandits.
By the time we reached the campsite it was 9pm and we were so hungry. We eventually tracked down the last two bottles of water and a solitary baguette in a tiny shop as it was closing. Once the tent was built we lit lots of little mosquito nightlights and sat out under the stars talking about when we first met.
It is hard to believe that it was nearly thirteen years ago, when we were both working as extras on a film set together. It was a long night shoot in Canary Wharf and we were practically the only people under the age of sixty so we naturally ended up chatting. A year later my boyfriend of seven years dumped me with that old classic “It’s not you it’s me” one liner. Majorly on the rebound I decided to track Dave down with the help of my delightfully camp agent. Our first date was Midsummer’s Eve which was totally magical. It still makes me smile when I think back to that evening. My lovely neighbour who lived at the bottom of my garden hopped over the fence with her Hoover and a vast array of cleaning products to spruce up my badly neglected flat. She made me promise to leave the patio doors open so she could hear me scream if Dave turned out to be an axe murderer.
Dave and I laugh now at our choice of first date clothes, I wore a figure hugging biker chick top which went down well as Dave likes motorbikes and indeed girls in tight tops. He wore one of those global colour t-shirts that change colour as you get warmer. So as the evening progressed it turned from blue to pink, talk about wearing your emotions on your sleeve! The evening went so quickly and as the birds started singing we realized we had been talking all night.
The rest as they say is history, we have been inseparable ever since. I think I knew from that first night that Dave was my soul mate. In the years that have past since he has become my best friend, partner in crime and my true love.
Friday 3rd June
The weather reached 30 degrees today so we spent most of it in the sea at Cannes. It is a lovely beach with fresh water showers so we were able to hose off the sea water and sand before venturing into town. We went into a couple of jewellery stores to look at engagement rings. I must admit I got pretty excited as I have never been in one before. I bound into an up market shop with Dave hot on my heels only to discover that there wasn’t much inside except a rather scary looking sales assistant waiting to pounce. I think I was expecting it to be like a shoe shop with lots on display in all sizes. I tried on a couple of rings but neither felt quite right. After looking in a few more stores where it was the same story we were getting decidedly hot and flustered. We decided to wait until we get home and have a day out in Brighton as we are sure to find the perfect ring there.
Saturday 4th June
Drove to St Tropez today and parked in what must be the smartest car park I’ve ever seen, the floor was clean enough to eat your dinner off. Tony, (our car, named after my Dad who always drives a Volvo) has been playing up recently and Dave has been filling him with lots of toxic looking pink radiator liquid so we hope that it doesn’t leak out spoiling this immaculate flooring. (Is it possible for a car to get an ASBO?)
We wandered around the boutique stores stopping by the harbour to pose for photos next to the yachts. If Dave gets me a pink villa I will definitely have to get him a yacht complete with a jet ski he’s been salivating over.
We had a mega long drive back to our original campsite near Gigny- sur-Soane. By the time we got there we were exhausted so we decided to eat in the chateau restaurant rather than waiting for our little camp stove to heat up more pasta and beans. I seriously think we may get scurvy if we stay here much longer.
Sunday 5th June
Today was our last full day. We fed the campsite ducks before having a quick dip in the pool. The weather seemed to be on the turn so we packed up ready for the last bit of our journey.
The drive was the best part of seven hours so we chatted about how lovely our holiday has been and started to make plans for our wedding. Neither of us wants a long engagement so we are thinking maybe next summer. I recently sold my flat in Streatham and while the money could be used on something sensible we are both thinking that we should clear our debts and splurge the rest on having a wedding to remember forever.
Tips and things to do
Enjoy telling friends and family your news, you could plan an engagement party or get together. Or, if like us your family are scattered all over the country you could spread out the jubilations by having several mini celebrations.
Start a journal, even if you have never kept a diary. Your first entry could be details of your proposal, where you were and how you felt.
A good way to start thinking of where you may get married is to get some paper and at random fill it with names of places you both love, holiday destinations, films, books, music and special memories.
We had fun doing the following exercise. You both write down where you see yourself in five years time.
What do you visualise yourself doing, will you be working, what will you be doing, how much will you be earning. Where will you be living and will you have children? You then do the same for ten years time and then compare notes. Hopefully they are compatible!
Monday 6th June
It didn’t stop raining all night leaving our tent wet through. The duvet was soggy and my shoes have fallen apart so it’s a good job today’s our last day. We dumped the tent and shoes in a large bin and laid the duvet over the back seat of the car to dry.
We caught the ferry back to Dover, drove home to Greenwich and managed to have lunch before I had to leave for work. (I am the principal teacher at a performing arts centre and teach dance and drama to children aged from eighteen months through to adults. The oldest being a lady in her ninety’s who does tap dancing with me!).
At work it was fun telling everyone about our engagement it’s amazing how great it feels spreading good news. My adult tap class bombarded me with wedding questions of when is it, where is it etc. Gosh it’s made me realise we have a lot of planning to do as at the moment we don’t have a clue when, where or how.
Tuesday 7th June
Didn’t wake up until 11.15 am, I’m so tired after our travels plus going straight back to work. We went to the Coop to buy anything that didn’t resemble French bread, potato or beans. When we got home we had a very healthy salad for lunch, I think my body is in shock it’s eating green things again.
Work was such a struggle I feel like I need another holiday to recover from this one. At one point when my kiddies tap class were behaving particularly hyper I had to resort to having a spoonful of sugar from the kitchen to keep myself going.
I had brought some holiday photos in to show my fifty plus class Tap dance class, where the average age is in fact seventy eight. They were all very excited about my engagement, several of them even offered to be bridesmaids, heaven forbid!
Friday 10th June
Really lovely day, Dave and I drove to Brighton to look at engagement rings. In the second shop we visited I found one I liked, it’s a white gold band with twelve diamonds set into it and is very sparkly. I surprised myself at how decisive I managed to be as I have no experience with jewellery.
When I was little I put a plastic ring on my finger and my Mum terrified me by saying that she would have to call the fire brigade to get it cut off if it got stuck. It was years later that I realised she meant the ring and not my finger! I’m lucky that I don’t have a phobia of rings after that. The ring I chose was two sizes too big so we left it in the shop to be altered while we had lunch. We had a very tasty meal at our favourite vegetarian restaurant Terre a Terre then returned to the shop to pick it up. The ring fits perfectly now and I can’t stop looking at it. I always vowed the first ring I ever chose would be special and this one certainly is. It looks especially sparkly under the bathroom lights as I sit on the loo admiring it.
Saturday 11th June
Work was manic today, after non stop classes and a hasty lunch I quickly changed into my gypsy skirt and cream top last worn at the Lido in Paris. We had a medal presentation for all the children who took Ballet and Tap dancing exams this year in the evening on our stage. I fluffed a few of their names as I got quite distracted looking at my new bling as it sparkled under the theatre lights.
Sunday 12th June
We were up at the crack of dawn as Dave and his brother Doug were running the St Albans half marathon.
Doug and his partner Karen are over the moon about our engagement and after the run they presented us with a big silver box containing six beautiful pink glass wine goblets. Doug then produced a bottle of champagne and we christened the new glasses with a toast. We set the camera up to take a photo of us all for a wedding scrapbook I’m planning on starting. To top an already perfect day they took us out for pizza. I feel so blessed to have such lovely friends then I realised that soon Doug will be my Brother in law which is cool as I always wanted an older brother.
Tips and things to do
Treat yourself to some wedding magazines, they will really get you in the mood and are full of lots of inspiring ideas.
If your fiancé decided to let you choose your own engagement ring, then arrange a day out to get one. Everyone expects to see your ring and the sooner it’s on your finger the more real your engagement will feel.
Purchase a special frame or album to put your engagement photo in.
Send out invites for an engagement party.
Monday 13th June
I’m still on a high after our lovely weekend so even work couldn’t dampen my spirits. Word is still getting around about our engagement so I have had plenty of chances to show off my ring. I can’t quite put into words how I’m feeling at the moment it’s a mix of euphoria, excitement and a sense that everything mundane in my life has ceased for the time being. All I can think about is getting married and all wonderful hopes and dreams for the future I have.
Wednesday 15th June
It was a long day at work today, my fifty plus class were really excited to see my ring and I received a few engagement cards. There is quite a collection at home now and they make me smile every time I look at them. The post brings new ones each day and I am planning on keeping them all in a scrapbook. Unlike Birthday cards that usually only remain on display for a few days these don’t have an expected deadline for removal so I expect they will be dusty by the time I finally take them down.
Friday 17th June
Today I went to Brighton as one of the stones in my ring is slightly wonky and after the amount of time I spend gazing at it each day it’s starting to annoy me. The guy in the shop said it was no problem to fix it but I would have to leave it with him for five days. I decided to wait until I get it cleaned as I can’t bear to be parted from it for that long. Plus we are going to Somerset tomorrow to see my family and I simply have to show them the ring, wonky stone and all.
Saturday 18th June
I had to work in the morning but miraculously managed to get away at 1pm without being clobbered by my demanding boss to do anything else.
After a quick lunch and shower Dave and I were on the road to my folks. We drove straight to my Mum’s and although we arrived at 5.30pm the weather was still lovely. We sat outside in the beautiful tea garden she owns and showed her our holiday pictures and of course the ring. We drove from there over to my Dads for dinner and later over a bottle of wine we relived our holiday highlights with him.
Sunday 19th June
It was another blissfully hot day today. My sister George and her children came over and we spent the day in Dad’s garden eating ice cream and watching them play with the water sprinkler. It was such a relaxing day spending quality time with Dave and my family. As we listened to the children squeal in excitement as they ran through the cold water I felt a wave of nostalgia for my own childhood.
Getting engaged has made me start thinking of all manor of grown up thoughts like joint bank accounts and maybe even children of our own.
Yikes all that and we aren’t even married yet.
Tips and things to do
As soon as possible set up a joint account with your fiancé for all things wedding. It will be so much easier to keep track of your spending than if it’s muddled in with your household bills. Also if any family members offer financial support you can get them to pay directly into this new account.
Purchase a memory box or scrapbook to keep all your engagement cards in.
If there is anything wrong with your ring get it fixed straight away especially if it’s too large as you don’t want to loose it.
Tuesday 21st June
It was our 13 year anniversary today and as the day unfolded it was beautiful in every way. Dave gave me a lovely card in which he had written that three weeks ago I had made him the happiest man in the world when I said yes to his marriage proposal. He also treated me to lilies and roses (which I adore), chocolate and a bracelet. I feel so lucky to be marrying this thoughtful and generous man.
We went to Sainsbury’s to buy ingredients for a special meal. As I was due to go to work I found just enough time to make a dessert for us. It was called Decadent Chocolate, Almond Midnight, which translates as a cooked chocolate cheesecake on a cashew nut and almond pastry, yum!
I went to work leaving Dave with my most fancy vegan cookbook and promises that he would give it his best shot.
When I got home he had surpassed himself by making Millennium salad, which consisted of sautéed mushrooms and braised garlic on a bed of wilted spinach and balsamic dressing. For main course we had pasta with sun ripened tomatoes in a wine and garlic sauce. He had even found time to make coconut sorbet and roasted almonds in maple syrup to go with my chocolate dessert. There was nothing for me to do but to take a quick shower and get changed. I found the dress I wore the first time we went to Paris nearly 13 years ago lurking in the wardrobe and wore that, how sentimental am I? Dinner was totally delicious as was my dessert which is just as well as there are about twelve portions of it so we shall be eating it all week.
Thursday 23rd June
I just love the summer and its well and truly here today, I made the most of it by taking a swim at the lido nearby.
After work I got a bit carried away on the internet searching for wedding ideas. It’s amazing how many websites popped up when I just typed “wedding ideas” into our search engine, it’s like I have stumbled on a world I never knew existed before. It was 4am by the time I finally made it to bed. I wonder if all this wedding planning is going to make me an insomniac.
Friday 24th June
My day off today and as the weather forecast for London was set to be stormy I took off to Brighton where it was lovely and sunny all day. I paddled in the sea and reflected on what a lucky, happy girl I am. Dave and I have been talking about honeymoon destinations already and are both quite keen on visiting America. I worked in Miami as a dancer when I left college and loved it so I would definitely like to take Dave there.
In Borders bookstore I spotted a book about U.S.A that was reduced so I took that as a good omen and snapped it up.
Saturday 25th June
We are still leaning strongly towards honeymooning in America and as we flicked through my new book and saw all the amazing places there are we came to the conclusion that we should try to do as many as possible, after all this is going to be a once in a lifetime experience.
The section in my book on Nevada grabbed our attention as it reminded us of a documentary we had watched years ago about the making of The Venetian Hotel in Las Vegas. It was staggering the amount of detail they put into it even down to the colour of the water in the canals. Upon completion they found it didn’t exactly match its counterpart in Venice so they drained it and repainted the base of the canal a more appropriate colour before refilling it. At the time when we watched the documentary we both said it would be an amazing place to visit so with that in mind Dave and I spent ages on the internet looking at The Venetian Hotel’s website. We even did the virtual tour complete with 360 degree view of the huge suites. I noticed a section saying weddings and before I knew it the mouse had clicked on it and several packages had appeared, one in particular called “Ceremonia Sul Aqua” caught my eye. It promised an unforgettable not to mention romantic ceremony conducted upon your own white wedding gondola. For a few hundred dollars you had a celebrant perform the ceremony in the wedding gondola, a custom created bouquet and matching grooms boutonniere as well as two 5x7 images. There and then we made the huge decision to have two weddings; the official part in Vegas followed by a honeymoon in America and upon our return a blessing somewhere in Brighton.
For years now we have wanted to live in Brighton it truly is where both our hearts are, so having a blessing there would be perfect. It also is a great destination for family and friends to come to with its fabulous beach and array of quaint shops. Now we have made our minds up it feels like we can really start to get our plans underway, we are both really excited.
Tips and things to do
Surf the net, by typing in key words such as wedding, ceremonies, venues, reception etc. The internet has a huge wealth of ideas at your finger tips. Over the months that it took to plan our wedding it became my favourite hobby. I spent many a happy hour flitting from one site to another, scribbling useful things I found down while sipping on an ice cold glass of white wine.
Buy some books, Amazon have lots of great ones to choose from. We bought a practical guide book to planning a wedding, a book on poetry and readings and a book on teaching yourself calligraphy for our wedding invites. I also treated myself to some fictional wedding stories to get myself in the mood. Sophie Kinsella’s “Shopaholic ties the knot” is especially good. If you are planning a honeymoon we found the “Dummy’s Guide To” books really great.
Talk with your fiancé about special places that have meaning to you both, also pinch ideas from other weddings you have been to and films you may have seen.
Purchase a file to keep all your wedding bits and pieces up together in.
Tuesday 28th June
Dave was up and out early as working on a film set today then going to Doug and Karen’s to help fit their new bathroom. I spent the morning before work surfing the net and continued when I got home from work. One of the ladies I teach has just come back from a fantastic holiday in Vegas and she got me so excited with her tales of how amazing everything is there. She stayed at the Bellagio Hotel and I after talking to her I got the famous dancing fountains up online, they are a definite must see.
Chapter 2
Start spreading the news...
Sunday 3rd July
Dave and Doug did the Great London Run today and amazingly I spotted Dave as he ran over Westminster Bridge. I screamed out that I loved him and as he ran past he gave me a rather sweaty kiss.
Later I had a lovely chat with my Dad on the phone about possible locations for our Brighton Blessing; so far all we have come up with is the beach which is a little risky weather wise. He suggested The Royal Pavilion which is an amazing building and unique to Brighton. In fact it’s such an obvious choice I can’t believe we haven’t thought of it ourselves.
Later we got the Royal Pavilion’s website up online and for a reasonable price it seems you can get married in The Red Drawing Room and have a reception in the King William IV room, you are also allowed to have photos taken of you and your husband in the Music Room and Pavilion gardens. We got pretty excited, can’t wait to give them a call for more information and availability.
Our old lodger, Armchair Pete (named because in all the time he lived with us he barely moved from our armchair!) who now lives in America called us in the evening as he had heard our news from Doug and Karen. He said he would try to make our wedding in Vegas, it’s funny but since we told family of our plans quite a few have expressed an interest in coming out to Vegas for the big day. So far Doug and Karen, my Mum and her partner Ian, my sister Jess and good friends Tray and Paul. We can’t believe it as we wouldn’t have thought to of invited everyone to travel so far. Also the main reason we chose to get hitched on a gondola was so we wouldn’t be rattling round in a wedding chapel just the two of us. Its looking like we will not be alone and sharing the plans with others just adds to our excitement.
Tips and things to do
Set a date, what time of year do you imagine yourself getting married? The sooner you make this decision the better as you will have something to work towards. Also many venues get booked up in advance so get in early to avoid disappointment.
Make a list of who you would like to invite to your wedding. Whether you have an intimate gathering or hundreds of people is up to you but bear in mind it will affect your choice of venue and the cost of catering. We found that our chosen venue could only hold forty so we kept our list to immediate family and close friends.
Tuesday 5th July
I contacted The Royal Pavilion this morning and spoke to a lovely lady called Sarah who deals with weddings and functions there. She was very helpful and I got a really good feeling from her so we decided to arrange to meet with her and view the rooms on the15th July. We have decided that the ceremony in Brighton will be a Humanist blessing as we will already have been legally married in Vegas. The best thing about choosing to have this kind of ceremony is that you get to work with the celebrant conducting it to write something personal to you.
After looking through our travel books especially at the average temperature graphs we have chosen May as a good time to go to America. So we plan to get married towards the beginning of May, have a few weeks honeymoon, (destinations still to be decided). Then when we return home we will still have a few weeks to spare before the Brighton blessing if we hold that some time in July.
Ages ago I read somewhere about a themed boutique hotel in Brighton that sounded ideal to accommodate friends and family. After a bit of searching online I came across The Granville hotel that is situated directly opposite the old West Pier and at the moment they have availability next summer. The manager, Gerry was extremely helpful and I booked an appointment to go and view the rooms after we have visited The Pavilion. What a productive day, it really feels as if things are falling into place already.
Tips and things to do
As soon as you have found a venue or venues that you think may be suitable for your big day book appointments to visit them. Looking around will give you a feel for the place. Ask lots of questions such as how many guests can they accommodate, do they provide a minister or can you choose your own. How booked up are they and when would they need a deposit by? You may find that as well as the ceremony that your venue can also host your reception which with no additional travel makes it easier for you and your guests.
Check if there are any events happening the same weekend as your wedding near your venue or hotel that may affect you. We didn’t realise until the day that there was a hip hop festival right outside our hotel on the beach. It didn’t ruin the day but did give us all a bit of a headache!
If you have chosen your venue start looking at surrounding hotels for you and your guests to stay in. It would be a shame to leave booking your accommodation too late and have to travel further than necessary.
Look into the kind of ceremony you would like to hold. Will it be religious, non religious such as a Humanist blessing. Or at a registry office or other licensed venue?
Tuesday 12th July
I woke early today and hit the net searching for poems to read during our Humanist Blessing. Some of them were really cheesy but a couple had me reduced to tears. I took a lemon cheesecake break and rang Sarah at The Pavilion to ask about caterers for our reception. We really have our heart set on using Terre a Terre but they apparently set the fire alarms off flambéing something fancy and now the venue only use their own approved caterers. I took their numbers and rang them to find out about sample menus. The first wasn’t too hopeful as when I explained we wanted a totally vegetarian/vegan reception the lady started raving about salmon blinis. The second, Leith’s sounded a lot more promising. I spoke to a very helpful guy called Jonathon who totally got my vegetarian/vegan request even suggesting that if we had something particular in mind we could give the recipe to his chef to prepare for us. I am really looking forward to receiving his menus which he says he will pop in the post as soon as he can.
I finally got round to emailing The Venetian Hotel asking what availability they have for Saturday 6th May next year and asking about wedding dress hire. I also found a great site that specializes in Vegas style wedding invites. They feature the Vegas sign and you get to fill in the details of when and where inside. They also do save the date fridge magnets so I emailed them for more info.
Wednesday 13th July
I got a response from my email to the Venetian Hotel.
Dear Charlie & Dave
Thank you for your interest in Venetian Weddings and Congratulations! To book your Wedding please call us and speak to an event planner. We have lots of availability next May for our Gondola package. In regards to renting a dress or tuxedo, we refer to Jennaleigh’s Bridal
We look forward to hearing from you soon and hope you are having a wonderful day!
Dave and I got really excited and telephoned to book the 6th of May next year. We checked the times and discovered Vegas was seven hours behind us so that meant we had until midnight to make the call. It was surreal speaking to the event planner knowing she was so far away, she was so friendly and promised to email the contract shortly. We had a little celebratory dance around the room when I got off the phone, I can’t believe we are actually doing this!
Friday 15th July
We met Sarah at The Pavilion and she showed us the Red Drawing room where our ceremony would be held. The room was lovely and had a great feel to it. Another wedding had just been performed in there so it was all laid out accordingly and we could smell the fragrant lilies and roses. I felt quite emotional just being there, this definitely is the perfect place for us to have our Blessing. She also took us downstairs to the amazing Music Room with its gold leaved ceiling adorned with dragons it was simply breath taking(ordinarily they do not allow photos to be taken in there but they make an exception for weddings). We checked what availability they had and this day next year is free. As today has been beautiful weather wise we took that as a good sign and went ahead and pencilled in the 15th July next year.
We had a delicious picnic outside on the lawns of The Pavilion gardens and rang family to tell them the date we have chosen. Then we walked along the seafront to view the rooms at The Granville Hotel. Once again they were perfect for us, we think we may splurge out and book ourselves in the aptly named Brighton Rock room. It has a four poster bed and a wooden partition in the room that when you pull it back reveals a large Jacuzzi bath with huge shower head coming directly from the ceiling above it. The floor to ceiling sash windows had fantastic sea views and we could visualise ourselves relaxing in the bath gazing out to sea. The other rooms all have different features and we spent ages chatting about which room we think each family member would enjoy staying in most. There was a roll top bath for my sister, a four poster for my Mum and a waterbed for a friend who has always wanted to sleep on one. We got pretty excited knowing that not only will we have an unforgettable wedding but that our guests will hopefully have a memorable time too.
Sunday 17th July
Fantastic weather today as we drove to Cambridge to visit Dave’s Mum Janet and husband Tony. They were enthralled by our holiday photos and tale of Dave’s proposal as we sat out in their garden stuffing ourselves with a delicious barbeque. I could most definitely get used to all this celebrating, although if we keep the eating up I will be the size of an elephant by the big day.
Tips and things to do
It’s decision time, once you have found your dream venue book it. It will be a huge weight off your shoulders and then all the fun can begin. We found that once we had booked our venue we could really get on with all the rest of the planning and boy is there a lot of that!
Get prospective caterers to send out some sample menus to you. See if they have received any positive testimonials from other couples. Can they cater for special diets such as for vegetarians or diabetics? Are they able to provide a children’s menu at a reduced rate. Do you have a specific request or theme you would like them to work too?
Keep surfing the net and looking through magazines for any good ideas.
By now you may know where you’re planning to get married and whether it will be a religious or non religious ceremony. There are lots of lovely poems and readings that are suitable for both. I found some great ones online and in the book I ordered from Amazon. I earmarked the pages of all the ones I liked then read them to Dave for his opinion.
Monday 18th July
I received good news today from my financial advisor; it seems I have been awarded £3000 compensation for an endowment policy that I was miss sold. It was an unexpected bonus and something extra to add to our wedding fund, which with the huge plans we have is diminishing by the day.
Tuesday 19th July
I got a few glossy Wedding magazines whilst in Sainsbury’s, as I flicked through them it wasn’t so much a case of me seeing things I liked as me going Yuk, Yuk, and Yuk! On a positive note by process of elimination I will hopefully find something I do like. One thing that does repeatedly jump out at me is a range of bridal wear by designer Ian Stuart. I think it may have something to do with the fact that firstly all the dresses are quite theatrical and secondly the pictures are all taken with the bride next to a semi naked guy on a stack of hay! Not sure that I should confess to Dave that my reasons for liking a dress is a scantily dressed model, but it sure beats many of the more conservative and boring pictures I’ve seen.
Friday 22nd July
Hooray! At last a day off from a really busy week at work and Dave and I are back in Brighton. Our first appointment was at The Sussex Arts Club for a possible reception venue. It was a little too large for the forty guests we plan on inviting which is a shame as we could have used our preferred caterers there. We managed another quick peek at The Pavilion and it still felt as wonderful as we remembered from our previous visit so we will just have to hope that their approved caterers come up trumps with their food.
Tips and things to do
Now you hopefully have set the date for your big day, don’t forget to book the time off work. If you have a boss like mine then the more notice you can give the better.
The date is set; other services you will need to look at booking in advance include a minister to perform your ceremony, photographer and maybe a videographer. A catering company, transport to and from the venue and a Florist. Ask your venue if they can recommend anyone, search online and ask friends. The more advice you get, the more choice you will have and you will be a step closer to creating the perfect day.
Tuesday 26th July
I’m feeling pretty rundown; work is manic with a combination of summer shows and preparations for the Christmas production. It seems wrong to be planning for Christmas in this sweltering heat. I cheered myself up by looking through the sample menus we received. As expected the first company I’d approached had totally missed my veggie/vegan request and every page featured something fishy. The second company called Leith’s as in the famous Prue Leith sounds so much more promising so I rang to book a tasting for a few weeks time. We wanted to get a second opinion on the food so have invited Doug and Karen along as well so we can make a day out of it, with a free lunch to boot.
Saturday 30th July
I took the day off work today as I’m owed so many hours and still feeling worn out. After a lovely lie in I cooked us a healthy lunch and we went through the wedding menus to decide what to ask the chef to prepare for our tasting. We have decided on the following.
Starter - Vegetable consommé with vegan pasta.