My Only Regret
Demetri O. Sahagun
Published By Demetri O. Sahagun at Smashwords
Copyright 2011 Demetri O. Sahagun
MY ONLY REGRET
POEM LISTING
-One-
[I’d Rather Die]
Damn
the noise that pollutes me
Hearing what one wishes is youth
And
now I couldn't feel older
Even if I stabbed my ears in
Still I
swim in the ocean full of snakes
As they bite at my neck and
hands
I have come to realize, my friend
I'd rather die
Than
leave your side
I'd rather drown in venom
Than abandon
you
There is no other way
We can barely communicate
And
my heart has been broken
Your lies have tired me too much
But I
would rather face death
Than to be told that we're through
You
know why, and that's all needed
Only dead would I leave your
side
If you feel the same way I do
Then make it known, my
boy
I'm much too close to giving up
My heart threatens to break
out
And simply leave you here
But I would rather die
Than
leave your side
Among the friends and the snakes,
the villains
and the heroes,
the liars and the traitors.
You have become
the only one I trust.
So, stop being such a fool and fix your
wrongs.
Or I could simply die here and now.
-Two-
[My Only Regret]
To
give myself to him so deeply
I needed a thousand good reasons
And
I can't remember a single one
All I can remember is a flurry of
emotion
"What is wrong with you, Demetri?"
I
asked myself in the mirror...
"Even demons know why they
hate
Even angels know why they sing
And birds will tell you why
they fly"
In all the time I sat at his side
Every
second I drank alcohol with him
I never had a good reason in
mind
Here I am now back on my sanity
I have no good reason
for having lost so much
He forgot to tell me before leaving me
How
I should go about recovering from him
Now I stand after a million
emotional fires
My only regret is that I can't think of a
reason
Not a single good reason
To be ashamed
Of my old
self
But I am
-Three-
[My Scales Hide No Love]
This
is a message from another world
Where mermaids dance in the
waves
Where there is no need for graves!!!
"This is a
day on which I walk along my street
Like a man worth
honoring!
Pretending to know what life has to offer me!
With a
grin on my face and my walk so proud!"
I am a Dragon
Queen
And my scales hide no love
So I am at peace!
"The
road before you has so much to offer
Walk with me or run
ahead
Just make sure never to stop!"
I am a snake full
of venom
And my scales hide no love
So my mind has no
turmoil
"This is a day on which I walk along my
street
Like a man worth honoring!
Pretending to know what life
has to offer me!
With a grin on my face and my walk so proud!"
-Four-
[Of Wants and Needs]
May
my bones waste away to nothing
May my words be forgotten
forever
I don't care for riches or for liars in disguise
All
I care about now is continuing my rise
But I begin to think...
what if I am wasting time?
What if I need to dedicate myself to
the teenage?
I don't care if my skin becomes wrinkled
I
don't care if my eyes should become sunken
At least I can do
this
At least I know bliss
I have escaped from the world
May
my words be hurled
Or may books all be burned
I couldn't be
prouder
I want to have eyes like a panda's
I want wrinkled
skin
I want a burned out brain cells
I want to waste this life
on words
I don't care what people may say
I want to let my
fingers bleed
And spend all night writing
-Five-
[Where Did You Go?]
Was
it that knowing smile?
Or that beautiful body?
Was it the word
"Love"?
Or am I simply too sleepy?
I don't
remember what language you speak
And I don't have the strength
needed to face it
But the ghost is in the room...
I fear that
it is the ghost of our love
Where have you gone?
Where have you
gone, my love?
I thought I had slipped your mind
But now the
days grow longer
Mondays are passing by
And your button nose
doesn't peer through my door.
I feel ridiculous sitting
quietly like this
Waiting so patiently for your return
I have
no idea if I've waited a million days or hours!
Where have you
gone, my love?
I am waiting patiently, but now I wait crying
Where
have you gone? Tell me where you are!
The snakes around me are
closing in
Without you here, dear boy, I can't force them off
You
used to do that for me, and I never learned.
-Six-
[Scoff]
I
am laughing as I drown
I had turned into a raisin from the
crying
And I was ruined like the home of Eve
I felt like the
circle looking for its missing piece
I was a roman looking for
something to invade
I felt so incomplete and stupid!
So
many questions came and went
And all the answers no longer
matter
Now you are gone from my life
You liar and you
traitor
Don't ever come back!
I don't know whether I recite or
sing
However, I do know that
I scoff! I scoff to know that
you're gone at last!
I scoff and scoff!
Oh my love, you have
no money for alcohol?
Do you have money for weed? No?
Oh what a
shame!
I have no good word to describe how much I love you
For
leaving me knowing that your life is in ruins
Your wallet is as
empty as my heart
And I find it in my beaten soul to laugh!
I
feel my weak legs toss me up and my head bangs
With my hair
whipping around
and my body thrusting on my dinner table
I
scoff! I scoff!
-Seven-
[I Imagine You]
I
sat there in the coffee shop as always
Writing a new story of
death
Of love and life
Oh my love, so nice to see you here
My
hands are in yours
They feel so weak to your touch
I've
been sitting here with that vision in my mind
For almost two
hours
And you haven't appeared
We had no plans
But you were
overdue
I continue to sit here
Regretting the fact that I wait
quietly
I sat there writing my story
Of venom and death
And
you snuck up behind me!
Covered my two brown eyes!
I continue
to dream helplessly...
-Eight-
[In My Heart Undisturbed]
You
sat in my heart undisturbed
Swinging your legs on your
chair
Taking out parts of my heart
And eating them with
joy
You bit out my innocence
And you made me think
That
I was ugly
Or that I was stupid
That I was guilty of
murder
Now you sit at my feet
Saying words all perfectly
rehearsed
When you never cared for my young heart!
You
sat in my heart comfortably
I gave you every bit of love that I
had inside
And you took it, ate, and left
Now I have no
love to give you!
I have no mercy, no wish for stress,
I most
of all have no need to see your face!
Go do your work!
Make
somebody else your fool!
Oh, Heaven Forbid I should you give
myself ever again.
No, I'm not giving myself up again.
I
treasure myself too much.
-Nine-
[I Can’t Get a Penny!]
Yesterday
I spent it...
My final dime...
On a hot coffee...
The sky
was grey and my skin was bumpy
Now I have no money
Not a single
penny
All my riches are gone at last
I can breathe
now
Money is the root of all evil
Not the possession of my
money
The luxury and waste
The root of all evil is a quest for
money
A quest for power
A quest no man should take
A quest
that nobody can break
And the greed that kills you inside
Do
you want the truth?
I never had wealth!
My writing makes me
something
But not everything!
Still...
All I need is
bliss!
To me bliss is a pen
A paper to tell my secrets to
My
loyal paper always listening.
I can't get a penny...
I used
to have six in my little pocket...
Hoping that more may come
soon
Only to cause me more stress!
I can't get a penny! Nor do
I want one!
-Ten-
[Take What You Want]
John
has blue eyes and slick brown hair
He is always scented with his
perfume
No hair is ever out of place or greasy
His grades
couldn't rank any higher
However, one day he had everything
done
He had nothing to do. Might as well go out
With a
desperate body and throbbing crotch
He explored too deep into the
city!
Take what you want, my dear boy
For losing your
virginity much too young
You will regret it and end up crying on
the floor
Take what you want now; I can't stop you
After
that you walked uncomfortably
But the real tragedy came after
several days
Your doctor's eyes bulged as he read the results
Not
using a condom had damned you to illness
Before your parents could
murder you
And before the doctor could report you
You ran for
your life to the nearest border
I opened my door to you, John
What
came of it?
You stole all my money and ran off in the
night!
Take what you want, my sick man
For robbing this boy
of his youth, die slowly
So slowly
For bringing this filth into
our homes may you die.
Oh John, come back to your home before
you die
You haven't got much time before your life is gone
Take
what you want and return to sanity
Before you're named John Doe
And taken into the morgue of a foreign place!
FIN
Author Info:
Demetri Oliver Sahagun:
A long-time pen name used by German Alcala.
Created when he was seven and used rarely this is the debut of the name Demetri Oliver Sahagun.
Learn more at the German Alcala website: GermanAlcala.tk
Smashwords: https://www.smashwords.com/profile/view/GermanAlcalaSahagun