7 Ways to Steal a Person
By Joshua Scribner
Copyright 2011 Joshua Scribner
Smashwords Edition
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This is a work of fiction. Any resemblance to any person or persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
The New Boyfriend
“Isn’t this fun!” Rich shouted over the jet ski’s engine.
The eyes that had once look beautiful to her–but now just looked painfully stupid–stared from above the painfully clownish grin.
Just to get him to turn around and focus on steering the machine Alex nodded her lie. Then, when he turned around, she spoke.
“You can’t hear me, can you?” she asked in a normal voice. He did not reply.
“Splendid. Saying out loud what I really feel ought to be the most entertaining thing of this trip. You see, I find bouncing up and down on water almost of fun as the loud noises made by the fire crackers you and your infantile friends set off last night. Oh, and diving from that cliff. Can’t beat the simple effects of gravity and the painful effects of submerging in cold water for a good time. I’m cold all the time, and I’m tired. You’re not what I thought you were, so when we get back home, I’m dumping you.”
“Did you say something?” he shouted.
“I said this is super fun!” she shouted back.
She lowered her voice to adjust for the slowed machine.
“Oh good, you’re starting more of those tight circles. That’ll get us higher and wetter. Maybe I’ll develop a little pneumonia during our stay.”
When the waves started to pick up, she pulled tighter to him. Even through the life jacket she could feel his muscular frame. It was such a shame she had to get rid of him.
“All right, maybe making fun of you and your stupid friends when you can’t hear isn’t the only fun thing about this trip. But it’s still not worth it.”
He cut into the waves he’d made and they bounced all over the place. They had just come down from a particularly large wave when she caught a glimpse of something. It looked like a big bird, possibly an eagle. It dove straight into the water, with a tremendous splash.
Rich turned the machine away from the diver. Alex punched him hard in the ribs. He stopped the machine and cut the engine.
“What?”
She was busy looking around. It was kind of hard to get her bearings. The machine had been moving in all directions, and they’d cut fast. She estimated the diver had hit the water sixty feet away. She couldn’t find it now.
“Did you see that?”
“See what?”
“Something came from the sky and crashed into the water.”
“Hm,” he said, almost indifferently. “Must have been diving for fish.”
“No. It was moving too fast and it went under hard.”