How To Get A Married Woman
To Have Sex With You...
...If You’re Her Husband!
Stephan Labossiere
How to Get a Married Woman to Have Sex with you…If you’re her husband. Copyright 2011 by Stephan Labossiere. Published by Firefly Publishing & Entertainment, LLC.
Smashwords Edition
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
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Firefly Publishing & Entertainment
P.O. Box 1346
Snellville, GA 30078
Cover Design by Hiram Abdullah
Library of Congress Control Number: 2011927271
1. Marriage 2. Self-Help 3. Relationships 4. Life
First Edition: September 2011
Dedication
It’s important to me to witness people leading authentic lives enriched by mutually satisfying relationships. I believe that God puts us here to experience joy and love and when we find the person that captures our hearts, it is God’s will that brings us to them. Many times, we experience negative circumstances that harden our hearts and force us to fear the very thing that can heal us, love. We lie to ourselves and to each other and we fight. This breeds more negativity, miscommunication and destructive relationships.
I dedicate this book to bringing an end to the battle of the sexes and breaking down the communication barriers between men and women so that we can all start being real with each other and in that realness, not be afraid to love each other.
Stephan L.
Acknowledgements
I’d like to thank my friends and family for their support and feedback while I worked to complete this book.. I’d also like to thank everyone who has allowed me into their lives, trusting me to listen and to give advice in the hopes of learning and growing in their relationships.
A special thanks to my mother for her guidance, love and support in raising me to be the man I’ve become. I hope to make her proud everyday of my life.
Lastly, I thank God for all that I am and all that I have. My life's experiences and blessings could not have been realized without my spiritual devotion to God and the blessings that come with God's love.
Table of Contents:
Introduction
1. Happy Woman = Happy Man
2. That's The Last Darn Time.....
3. A Connection Deeper Than Sex
4. You Gotta Do More Than Just Lick It!
5. Have A Date With Her Body
6. Borrrrrrrrriiiiiinnnnngggggg!!!
7. You Need Someone Else To Answer To
Closing
How To Get A Married Woman
To Have Sex With You...
...If You’re Her Husband!
Stephan Labossiere
Introduction
Somewhere in this world a man is waking up right now. He looks over his shoulder to see his wife asleep beside him. He stretches and yawns and then proceeds to get up and make his way to the bathroom. As he flicks the light switch to on, he can't help but notice his bathroom is filled with feminine products owned by his wife. He then does his business and heads to the sink to wash his hands. As he finishes up, he looks in the mirror, wipes his face with his hand, and at that very moment he thinks, "What the hell did I get myself into?"
That's right folks; almost every man has that moment where he asks himself that question. Wondering to himself why in the world did he get married. It is a sad and unfortunate thing, but it is a reality. Now the reasons can vary as to what makes the man question his decision. Maybe it's because he wishes they could talk more, or he doesn't feel emotionally fulfilled (I would laugh right now, but I’m sure there are some men that really feel this way). Maybe it’s her inability to support him the way he needs. Bad cooking, not cleaning enough, overbearing, and the list can go on and on. I’m sure though, that if we did a survey, one of the biggest reasons that leave men wishing they could turn back the hands of time is LACK OF SEX! Now I bolded those words to make sure that any women reading would truly get that this is urgent. I mean really, if you don't give your husband some action soon, his "friend" might just wither away and turn to dust, and that’s just not nice. Really, this is an important issue that a lot of marriages are faced with, and to be honest with you, most men have just accepted that it's a part of the program. They have utterly given up on trying to figure this out. They honestly start to believe that their wives just don't like sex and there is nothing they can do about it. Well, I'm here to tell you there is hope. In this book lies the key, or shall I say keys, to unlocking this mystery. Before we get into showing you the light at the end of the tunnel, I think there are some important things you're going to have to realize.
1. Fear Is Powerful:
Ok, so first thing you do is get a camera, and catch your wife in an unflattering situation. Then you give her an option: sex or this footage hits YouTube….I’m joking. Please don’t blackmail your wife, thank you. Seriously, I am not trying to insinuate using scare tactics to get the results that you want. Though she may be prone to doing this (ex: withholding sex, threatening to poison your meals, talking you into a coma), it is not the route you should take. What I am referring to here is that whether you realize it or not and whether she has accepted it or not, a lot of women are in constant battle with their fears. She is scared to open up and completely let you into her heart. Some of you may be saying, “But I thought this was just about sex?” NEWS FLASH: Sex for a lot of women isn't that simple. We can debate whether it should or shouldn't be but the fact remains this is the reality in a lot of situations. Her fear of exposing herself and therefore putting herself in a vulnerable position is neither appealing nor is it comfortable. She may have been through emotionally traumatizing experiences or simply have a negative view of men based on what she has seen or heard.
The truth is a lot of women believe that a man doing something to hurt them is inevitable and they will take whatever necessary pre-cautions to protect themselves. Being her husband does not exempt you from this belief, so don't think you’re different. Just understand this issue so that you may approach things properly and delicately. You can never personally remove the fear from her yourself; it will be on her to do that. You can however, help to decrease or completely eliminate it over time. This book will help you with some of those aspects, but you must have patience.
2. Rome Wasn't Built In A Day:
I understand that we live in a society that wants results fast. We want everything to be easy and when we have to put in work, some of us shy away. Well nothing that is built to last is built quickly. It takes time and that's something you will have to understand. Now I'm not saying you can't get some very fast results, but at the end of the day if you want to change the way you and your wife consistently operate sexually, then understand it may take some time for her to come completely around. There will be some cases where a few adjustments here and there will get things going in the right direction immediately. Then, there will be others with issues so deep that it will take a lot of working through things to start to see some improvements.
Also, consistency is key in all cases. If you only "act right" when you want some, then she will pick up on that and will purposely deny you of your desires. Trust me, if you remain consistent with your "correct" actions, she will then soon become consistent in hers. Do not forget, she is still a woman and that means she is processing and analyzing things on a level that you have no understanding. This could lead to her attempting to test out how genuine this new approach is. Which brings us to the next point.
3. The Words Coming Out Of Her Mouth Are Just A Distraction:
Contrary to what you may believe, your wife is very smart. She may play dumb, but she pays attention and is analyzing a lot more than you think. She knows you very well, even though you would never guess that by judging how she treats you at times, and with some of the decisions that she makes in regards to you. With that said, when you begin this process, there will be some wives out there (the majority) who will pick up on this different approach you're taking. She will want to see how genuine you are, or if she thinks that this is all about sex, then she will purposely make things harder for you. She will try to throw you off, say and do things just to test you. DO NOT FALL FOR IT!!!!! Stay focused, and learn how to look past a woman's words to truly understand what she is saying and what she is trying to achieve. Reality is, I do hope that as you read this book you will be able to do things genuinely. Regardless, just don't let her knock you off track, because believe me when I say, she probably will try.
4. Forgive and Forget the Past, because it is The Dawn of a New Day:
One of the biggest obstacles you will face is letting the past linger in your mind. You're so used to being turned down that the slightest resistance makes you wave your white flag. You think because you previously came to the conclusion that she doesn't like something, that then means don't bother with it. Please throw that all out the window because you will only hold yourself back. Even if you’re right, then let's find out and make sure. Even if she starts doing what she usually does, let's focus on approaching it differently.
There is a lot more to your woman than most of you probably know. Focus on this new beginning. Look at your marriage like a computer that possibly has caught a virus, and is no longer functioning the way you would like. You're now going to re-format the hard drive (which is erasing everything on it for those of you unfamiliar with this terminology) and re-install everything. Now some of you may be saying, “well isn't that like saying get a divorce and get a new wife?” Nice try buddy, but the answer is no, because it's still the same computer, so don't get any ideas. You're basically going to remove all the bad habits, and start fresh with a new approach and you can't succeed at doing that if you're still living in the past.
So with that all said, I think you're ready now to learn what I believe it is going to take to get your sexual lives back in order. Not to mention, if you truly take heed to all you’re about to read, I can guarantee you will get even more from this than just an enhanced sexual life.
Chapter 1
Happy Woman = Happy Man
“There is no greater invitation to love than loving first.”
St. Augustine
I'm sure some of you have heard "happy woman = happy man" before. Maybe you haven't but it is truly a theory to live by if you’re a man looking to have the best relationship you can have with a woman. Unfortunately though, a lot of you may not truly understand what makes a woman happy. You also may be thinking “why can’t the equation be in reverse (Happy Man = Happy Woman)?” Well, first let me address the latter of the two. A happy man does not always equal a happy woman simply because our needs are simple. A man can be happy as long as he is being fed, left alone, and getting some booty on a regular basis. Seriously, it can be that simple. Whereas the woman's needs are more complex than that (well, at least complex from a man’s point of view). So, with that said, you can find a woman who fulfills those simple needs of her husband, and he is happy, yet she is miserable even though she may not show it. Now eventually she won't be able to keep this up, but just to make the point, you can find situations that exist like this. On the flip side, if you can find me a woman who is truly happy, not pretending to be or lying to herself and everyone else, but truly happy in her relationship, then almost always you will find a happy man by her side.
When a man truly taps into a woman's emotions, stimulates her mentally, and fulfills her in ways that may seem so ridiculous to us men, she will naturally start to reciprocate the things you need and desire. She will take joy in it and it will only add to her fulfillment. Women have a natural instinct to nurture, so once you're able to tear down all the walls that life has created, you will receive more than you bargained for.
Now let's address the other point I made. Most men do not know how to truly make their woman happy. You're probably reading some of the things I have written and saying to yourself, “How the hell do I tap into her emotions?” “Do I really want to deal with tapping into her emotions?” “I'm hungry,” and “I could really go for some ass right about now.” All of these are understandable thoughts and questions. Again though, if you want the best out of your marriage then yes, you do want to pay attention and understand what you need to do. So here are a few things to remember when trying to make your woman happy:
1. Security – Most if not all women want to feel secure. Part of the reason women look to get married is because it brings more security and stability to their life rather than being single. Unfortunately though, a lot of men drop the ball on how to strengthen that feeling and instead do things to damage it. Security has a lot to do with trust, so you have got to learn to build the trust she needs to feel secure with you. Being open and honest about everything goes a long way in that department. Also, we men have a tendency to not let women into our lives enough. Your woman shouldn’t have to hear from someone else your dreams and aspirations, or any current business dealings. Someone else should not be telling her where you're at when she should have already been told by you. I know that may bother some men, because you may feel like you’re being punked or something. GET OVER IT!! You're simply creating an environment where your woman feels valued in your life and doesn’t have to question things all the time because she will already know what's up, and that really helps with her feeling secure.
2. Communication – Yeah, yeah, yeah, I know everyone gets told communication is the key all the time. Well it is people, and that’s why you keep hearing it. Like it or not, your woman wants to talk and for some they also enjoy talking. Yeah, it may be a bit long winded and include a whole bunch of unnecessary details. It may be of no interest to you, and you would rather (insert joke)(ex: go visit her in-laws, wait I think that may be even worse for some. So let's go with have a car run over your foot....aaahhh much better) than to listen to her. Hell, you probably don’t even hear words anymore, just womp womp womp womp. Still, you need to listen. Is taking some time out of your day to fulfill her need to be heard really going to hurt you? Ok maybe it will, but it's for the best I tell you. Because when she is satisfied, you're more likely to get satisfied.
Also, communicating is necessary when letting her know what you're feeling and thinking. It helps to provide some of the emotional security she needs as we discussed earlier, and helps to nurture a better connection between the both of you. The last thing you want to do is leave it up to a woman to try and figure you out, because Lord knows what she will come up with and drive herself into insanity thinking about. Which then will be thrown back at you and you will both land yourselves in a mental asylum, county jail, or hospital depending on the type of woman you have. So do both you and her a favor by opening up the lines of communication and being more willing to listen.
Side note: if she is extremely long winded maybe you can get a timer and put a limit on the conversations. If she goes past her limit she either has to immediately engage in the sexual activity of your choice or receive a small electrical shock. She cannot choose to be shocked more than twice in a row, and must act like she enjoys the sexual act. I hope you realize by now that I'm just joking and this suggestion should not be taken seriously. Moving along.
3. Non-sexual intimacy – Some of the men are probably saying what the hell is that or does that even exist or better yet what's the point of that? Non-sexual intimacy is the act of being intimate and affectionate with your wife without it having to lead into having sex. It does exist, and it is very necessary for your wife. Even if you were blessed with marrying a naturally sexual firecracker of a woman, she still has a need and desire for non-sexual intimacy. Women do not want to feel as if they are just your piece of meat, to be used at your discretion. They want to feel loved and desired and when intimacy always leads to sex then it completely ruins the hope of being more than just a sex toy to you. Now understand that non-sexual intimacy for a woman not only includes physical aspects like touching, caressing, kissing, etc. It includes quality time alone, talking, and other ways of connecting. She may simply want you to sit next to her and watch TV with her for an hour or so. As pointless as that may seem to us men, especially if she was watching something like Lifetime or some other depressing channel or movie, it is still something you should and can do to fulfill her needs and make your relationship better.
4. Reliability / Handling Business – One thing that’s very important to women, but I don’t think gets expressed enough, is having a man they know they can always count on; a man who knows how to take care of things, and truly be the man of the house. When she knows that you will take care of things and do it in a timely and efficient manner, it adds to her trust and the security as we discussed earlier. It removes an added layer of stress that she will have if you’re a good for nothing type of person who can't correctly handle the simplest of tasks. The less she has to worry about, the more she can focus on doing the things that you need from her. Granted, if you are working like crazy to take care of the household, you will have less time to take care of some of the other things. If that is the case, then you just need to talk to her and come to an agreement on how things will be handled.