Sutras for
Transcending Indulgence
By Anandmurti Gurumaa
Copyright 2011 Gurumaa Vani
All rights reserved. Translated & Compiled by Dr. Urmila Pandey
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Sutras for
Transcending
Indulgence
Anandmurti Gurumaa
Contents
3. Biology Of Physical Attraction
6. Sex And The Teenage Mind: The Raging Hormones 7. Advice To The Youth
SECRETS TO TRANSCEND INDULGENCE
8. Freedom From Slavery Of Sexual Desire
EMOTIONS, RELATIONSHIPS & MARRIAGE
14. Freedom From Emotional Bondage
Someone has said: “Sex is the biggest nothing of all time”. But how many people will arrive at this conclusion in their lifetime? On the contrary, sex is on most people’s mind, most of the times. Yet, it is a taboo. What an irony!
Nothing has fascinated the human mind as much as sex. Sex is the proverbial forbidden fruit and the taboo associated with it ensures that, albeit covertly, it is the most sought after source of pleasure. And at the same time, no one is comfortable talking about it openly.
There is a kind of moral embargo in the society on openly talking about sex and this has created so many misconceptions. The ignorance on what sex is really all about and the mad pursuit of sex for getting a transitory feeling of pleasure, has contributed to sexual perversion, promiscuity and the sexual malaise prevalent in the modern times.
It is like a dog chasing its own tail – no matter how much sex one indulges in, it never leads to a lasting sense of fulfillment, the pleasure evaporates in a moment and within a short while the sexual urge is back…and the cycle continues.
Sex is not sinful and should not be censured, should not be condemned and should certainly not be forcibly suppressed. Rather, it needs to be understood thoroughly. And it is only after this in-depth understanding, one can become aware of the fact that sex can be utilised for much more than mere momentary pleasure.
To most people, sex is either for pleasure or for procreation. People are largely ignorant to the fact that in pursuit of momentary pleasure, one ends up losing invaluable vital energy and Gurumaa explains this in great detail.
Sex can be used as a stepping stone for our spiritual evolution. Why use 1000 watts of energy merely to light a tinsy winsy bulb? Why live like a pauper when you have a treasure hidden in your own backyard?
In this book, Anandmurti Gurumaa candidly talks about all aspects of sex, holding nothing back and lucidly clarifying in-depth; in a way, demystifying sex and revealing the bigger picture. Importantly, she reveals that dimension of sex which is largely unknown to most of us. This book is for one and all, for understanding sex is the beginning to understanding life itself.
Anandmurti Gurumaa
Her presence is the presence of grace and compassion. Her words are the words of experiential wisdom. Her pragmatic teachings infuse seeking in the non-seeker and intensify the quest of a seeker. She has descended from her abode in the solitude of mountains to catalyse the spiritual growth of one and all. She is a mystic. She is a master. She is known as Anandmurti Gurumaa, mystic master of our times. Although no words can ever aptly describe the master, yet this is an attempt to express the inexpressible.
Anandmurti Gurumaa is a contemporary master who is guiding millions around the world towards their spiritual growth. Her unique way of explaining the esoteric wisdom makes it easy for even a layman to understand its inherent meaning, and on the other hand inspires the intellectual mind to explore uncharted frontiers, thereby giving everyone a chance to learn and evolve.
Talking about life, Gurumaa says, “Life is simple. We complicate it.” Giving a new perspective to meditation, she says, “Meditation is not contemplation. Meditation is not concentration. Meditation is a state of being.” Answering questions on several such topics viz. life, mind, meditation, God, love, truth, relationships etc. Gurumaa has brought about fresh insight into the understanding of these, so as to unclutter the cluttered mind of modern-day man. Her teachings lead to clarity of mind, facilitate harmonious living and show the way to rise above a mundane lifestyle. Most importantly, they make one aware of that dimension of life about which one is generally oblivious.
Her thought-provoking talks not only answer questions but make one question oneself too. Question the purpose of our pursuits. Question our priorities. Question our understanding. In a nutshell, they provoke one to think in the right direction so as to let the answers unfold from within. And don’t be surprised if they make you question your thinking itself!
Never
before has man had such easy access to the age-old scriptures, but
yet their core meaning still remains obscure because only the
realised master can decipher them and impart the wisdom that these
scriptures convey. Gurumaa has elaborated various scriptures
extensively in a very lucid manner, unraveling their deeper meanings,
imparting the message which the mystics intended to express at
different times. These explanations connect the seeker with the
source of wisdom, thus taking one forward on the journey
of
self-realisation.
Gurumaa has also devised a vast array of meditation methods to foster the growth of all those seeking to dive within. Be it a beginner or an advanced aspirant, these methods have been helpful to people from all walks of life. Almost every method of meditation is aided with mesmerising music which deepens the experience of the meditator. In fact, music is not just a part of meditation methods devised by Gurumaa, it is also an integral part of her profound expression.
A poet herself, she has put to music the mystical poetry of several mystics like Mevlana Jalaluddin Rumi, Baba Bulleh Shah, Baba Farid, Guru Nanak Dev and a lot more. Her blissful bhajans are an outpouring of inner celebration. They cast a spell of enchantment and subdue the incessant wandering of the mind, at the same time bestowing the experience of divine love. “The essence of all religions is love and I belong to the people who love”, says Gurumaa. Thus she defies all religious definitions and considers herself a citizen of world.
Master of several paths, Gurumaa encourages seekers to pursue spiritual practices with zeal, tenacity and determination and also guides them on the spiritual path most conducive to them. Through various means and methods she is constantly making her guidance available to one and all, so that each one can experience the real nature of oneself.
Gurumaa is based at Rishi Chaitanya Ashram in Gannaur (Sonepat, Haryana) and is also accessible through the website www.gurumaa.com. In addition to this, Gurumaa travels all around the world to share the light of wisdom and offer an opportunity to evolve and attain the heights of spirituality. One such opportunity is a meditation retreat with Gurumaa which is held from time to time at different places across the globe. These retreats offer a perfect climate to learn various sacred techniques which rishis of ancient times taught only the select few. Besides discourse and meditation sessions, these retreats also include yoga sessions aiming to accelerate the spiritual growth of the participants.
Special health retreats are also conducted by Gurumaa to make the participants aware about the significance of a healthy body and mind in their journey from the darkness of ignorance to light of wisdom. Similarly, every year a special retreat is organised for youth. Gurumaa’s dynamic teachings endear her to youngsters, for they can interact with her frankly. This retreat is an ideal setting for these energetic ones to seek clarity about their aim in life, become adept in the ways to lead a healthy and conscious lifestyle, learn to meditate, and get exposure to all that is needed for their growth.
If after reading all this, you assume that now you know about the master, then you are highly mistaken. A mystic, a master, a guide, a true friend, a poet…we can go on and on, yet words can’t grasp the versatility of Her Holiness Anandmurti Gurumaa. It is beyond the reach of words. In fact, how can words even give a glimpse of the phenomenon that is triggered in her presence. At best, words can ignite the longing to come and experience the ineffable experience of being in the presence of the master...
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1.
WHAT IS SEX?
Question: I know that sexual urge is inappropriate and I should not be having any sexual thoughts. But whenever lust arises, my mind gets split in two halves. One part of the mind says that whatever is happening is wrong. Then I try to deepen my breathing and by mindfulness of breath, the upsurge of lust gets controlled to some extent. I do have awareness of the body and mind at that time. But at other times, the attraction becomes irresistible and I get swept away in such lewd thoughts that it becomes impossible to control myself.
I started my journey with the intention of wanting to be annihilated in the fire of divine love. But alas! Burning in the fire of lust I can only helplessly watch my goal fade away.
Gurumaa: By listening to words of wisdom, one’s vocabulary certainly gets improved! You get familiarised with beautiful words - ‘awareness of the body and mind, mindfulness of the breath’ - these are lofty words indeed.
In reality, if you had the capability to observe your mind, you wouldn’t have been getting swayed by your thoughts. But if you are getting swept away in the flow of your thoughts, then it means as yet you don’t know how to be a witness, and you cannot see yourself separate from your mind. First accept this truth.
It cannot happen that you see the ditch and yet fall into it. When you see a ditch, you avoid it and walk away from it. If one can see the ditch and despite that he or she falls into it, it means that either he is blind or else he is daydreaming!
You have mentioned that whenever sexual urge arises in your mind, you know that it is inappropriate and you shouldn’t be getting such sexual thoughts - in fact, you think that you shouldn’t ever have sexual thoughts or feelings.
Well, you need to have a clear understanding of this issue. Understand it this way - hunger and thirst are the basic instincts of the body. When you feel hungry or thirsty, you don’t condemn yourself for having the feeling of hunger or thirst. You eat when you are hungry and you quench your thirst by drinking water.
You are not guilty of feeling hungry or thirsty. You don’t condemn yourself on getting hunger pangs every day. You don’t beat yourself up on feeling hungry in the morning, afternoon and again in the night, do you?
Just as hunger and thirst are the basic needs of the body, sex too is a basic instinct of the body. Then why do you condemn yourself for getting sexual urge? Sexual instinct has also been given to you by nature, just like hunger and thirst. No one has created this instinct for himself, it is part of a natural system.
The bud blooms into a flower and the flower is the source of seeds that will eventually give rise to more buds and flowers - so what is wrong in that? Similarly, when a sexual urge arises in a man or woman’s body, the sexual gratification will lead to fertilisation of the woman’s ovum with the man’s sperm, creating a new offspring – this is the process of reproduction. So, what is wrong in this? You need to clarify your thinking.
Sexual copulation is required for reproduction. Whenever someone gets married, he or she is taking a step towards procreating. The couple will produce children and these children will grow up and beget future generations. This sequence carries on and on for posterity.
If you think about it, what is marriage anyway? The truth is that it is a license to have sex and to breed! The society permits a couple to stay together and doesn’t censure their sexual relationship. Even today in India, barring a few metropolitan cities, live-in relationships (without the sanction of marriage) are condemned by the society at large.
Society designed the custom of marriage wherein the couple gets blessed by the elders, takes good wishes for making a success of their relationship, and gets societal permission to live with each other, to support each other, to procreate and form their own families.
There is no such custom in the animal kingdom. There is no concept of marriage amongst animals, and copulation between a male and a female animal is not seen as an inappropriate act. There is just a sexual contact that happens between the animals, with no further dimension to their relationship. On the contrary, there is a huge concept of societal acceptance for any such relationship amongst humans.
How can you condemn anything that is nothing but a natural instinct, imparted by nature? However, it is important to understand the definition of right and wrong. It isn’t wrong to satiate one’s hunger by buying food from one’s earned money, but it is certainly wrong to snatch the food from someone else and satiate your hunger.
There is nothing inherently wrong in the desire for sex. So, it is incorrect to regard sex as something ‘bad’. And how can it be, for if it was, then your parents were sinful to have conceived you; your grandparents, your ancestors were sinful, and indeed then all of humanity will become sinful.
Indian saints and sages had an in-depth understanding of sexual desire and they accorded such respect, such purity to the act that the blessing of a sage at a marriage ceremony is still regarded as very auspicious.
So, first rectify your thinking and don’t regard sex as a sinful act. Moreover, you say that you are trying to ‘control’ your sexual urges – the more you try to control it, the more diseased you will become. This is just like trying to stop yourself from sneezing, how distorted your face will become! Likewise, those who forcefully repress their sexual urges, their faces too look crestfallen - they are either on the edge or actually depressed.
Try to understand what sex is. It is a system designed by nature. By the age of 12-14 years, the body starts producing certain hormones. It is these hormones that result in the rising of sexual urges in the body and mind. That is why young children don’t have any inkling of what sexual urge is.
Although having said that, these days due to television and internet, children do know about sex at an earlier age. And nowadays one factor that is contributing to the lowering of the pubertal age is the effect of the readily available information on sex over the young minds. In earlier times, a girl would start menstruating at the age of 13 to 15 but these days the age has lowered to 10 and even 8 years.
There are several factors involved in lowering of the pubertal age, including earlier maturation of the brain. In these modern times, children mature very quickly and even a young child thinks about becoming famous, a star, a singer, etc! The child who should have been playing with marbles and flying kites is precociously transforming into a youth, under the influence of the prevalent in-your-face media. And as the brain is maturing earlier, the body too is transforming at a younger age.
Reverting back to the issue of sex, there is nothing wrong if someone regards sex as a source of pleasure and a medium for procreation. But what people don’t realise is that the pleasure obtained during sex is inevitably momentary, fleeting. And after a few moments only, one is back to feeling as one did prior to indulging in the sexual act. Then what does one achieve, get from this other than a momentary release?
The most precious thing in our body is not blood or bones, neither the heart and nor the brain – the most valuable thing in our body is energy. Every time a man or woman has sexual intercourse, at the moment of climax it is not only the semen that is lost, but more importantly one also loses part of one’s energy i.e. the reservoir of energy too gets depleted.
The reduction in the level of energy has its effect on your body, including your heart and brain. Moreover, the biggest effect is seen in those who are attempting to tread the path of spirituality – they find themselves physically drained, lacking in energy. This is because the sexual act is an act of excitement and what is excitement?
There are chemicals called endorphins that get released in the body and this leads to a sense of happiness and wellbeing. Now if you learn how to release endorphins of your own accord, then you can get the enjoyment that you felt in the act of sex without actually indulging in it. The question arises, how can one get the body to produce these endorphins? Well, there are several ways – dancing, singing, pranayama to name a few.
That is why it is seen that people engrossed in creative arts - be it painting, dancing, singing, music etc – they derive such joy from their creativity that the need for sexual gratification, in order to obtain any physical or mental satisfaction, is not at all felt. But this requires an honest commitment and genuine interest in the art form.
There is nothing wrong in being physically attracted to someone. You shouldn’t condemn this. If you regard something as sinful, shameful then you will try to suppress those feelings and this will lead you into greater trouble. You cannot treat a blister by hiding it under a cloth, the wound will fester and worsen. Instead, one needs to keep it open to air and apply the appropriate medicine, only then will it heal.
So, don’t regard sex as an unwanted blister that needs to be hidden. It is a natural instinct and hence don’t try to fight with it. Secondly, you are an adult so it is but natural that the hormones in your body will lead to rising of sexual urges. Thirdly, if you think that by suppressing these urges, they will go away – well, they won’t. By fighting with these urges, you are in effect fighting with nature, and remember that in this fight the ever-powerful nature will always be the winner.
What is sex, what does one derive and what one cannot obtain from a sexual act - try to understand this thoroughly. By trying to make sense of this, having an in-depth understanding of this, and simultaneously if you get interested in any creative art, then there is a possibility that you will transcend the need for sex.
There is nothing wrong in the rising of a sexual urge, but you need to assess what you will obtain in satisfying that urge. If you ask any married couple to narrate their experience, the typical response will be that they entered married life with great gusto and enjoyed the first 10 to 15 years of their union but now they don’t derive any pleasure. You must try to understand what they are saying.
They aren’t talking about food, clothes, or their house, in fact they are alluding to their sex life. Initially they derived pleasure from sex, but once the children came in the picture, then with the increasing responsibilities things didn’t remain the same. All the charm of being married slowly fades away, then they just become passive participants in fulfilling their partner’s needs. So, initially sex is exciting and eventually it becomes a routine, and often it becomes a point of conflict between the husband and wife.
Sexual energy is after all a type of energy and you can either make use of it or abuse it. Quite a few of the people who say that they are not interested in marriage or sex because they want to pursue a spiritual path and they like staying in ashrams – more often than not, this is just an intellectual talk. And bodily needs don’t understand intellectual reasoning.
Someone may keep thinking that he or she wants to pursue a spiritual life, but the body desires fulfilment of its basic needs. Such people suppress their urges and then end up as highly frustrated beings.
The one who has understood the basis of sexual urge and knows what he will and what he won’t obtain from sexual act, such an individual will never be frustrated irrespective of whether he chooses to refrain from sex or enters the sexual act with full awareness - there will always be joy and mirth in his life.
But let me tell you that around 98% of people have the need for sexual gratification. They should fulfil their sexual urges, and then maybe in due course of time they may realise the futility of sex, that one doesn’t obtain anything lasting from the act.
Having said that, let me reiterate that sex is not bad - cow dung isn’t bad as it can be transformed into a fertiliser to grow flowers and fruits. Likewise, sexual drive is energy and one should learn how to use it, how to transform it. If sexual energy flows downwards it results in sexual release, but if you transform this sexual energy with the tool of meditation then it will deepen your meditation. It is entirely up to you how you want to utilise this energy.
Those who don’t know how to beneficially harness this energy, they end up being markedly frustrated and depressed by fighting with it. Learn to transform this energy, don’t suppress it, rather try to understand it. It is this very energy that leads to the birth of a child - is that a small achievement?
So, if you think you want to transcend sex, then you should experience it, and the way to do this is by getting the license called marriage. But then it is also true that if you enter marriage only with the intention of experiencing sex, then be aware that along with that experience you will also get the gift of children and then you will get so stuck in carrying out your responsibilities that you will be caught up in it for your entire life!
Look at it scientifically - if the desire for sex arises at the age of 14 due to release of certain hormones, then by the age of 45 this release gets markedly reduced, which means that by 45 one’s sexual drive should become non-existent, but does it? It doesn’t. So this means that there is something wrong with your bodily system or rather with your brain, which still cannot see the difference between fleeting, momentary pleasures and everlasting joy.
That is why prostitution is said to be the oldest profession in this world. And it is the most successful profession, as man cannot give up his sexual need, cannot suppress it and hence fulfils it by hook or crook. In this respect, there is no difference between a man and an animal.
But the one who understands sexual energy and learns how to transform it, then there is no better way of transforming his life. You should know what your current level of being is - is it at the level of the body? If your intellect hasn’t matured, and you haven’t fully understood, then don’t try to control or suppress your sexual urges. Instead, get married and live a marital life, and in due course of time you may realise that there is nothing to gain from sex. You will not understand this by merely hearing my words, you need to experience it for yourself. Don’t suppress, don’t fight with it. You need discriminative wisdom.
Those who do yogasanas and pranayama, it is easier for them to transform sexual energy. You need to understand and balance your bodily systems and the functioning of your brain. If you are not doing this with sincerity then all that will happen is that your sexual urges will strengthen and you will fight a futile battle in trying to suppress them.
People waste so much energy in either trying to fight with their sexual urges or seeking constant sexual gratification and yet they don’t understand! Understanding its essence will lead to a certain beauty and a feeling of lightness in your mind. Those married couples who are mentally satisfied, their love rises above the need for physical union and ascends to the mental plane, and then they don’t perceive a need for physical consummation despite living together.
Gandhiji addressed his wife Kasturba as ‘ba’ which is a Gujarati word for mother. Her name was Kastur and Gandhiji added the suffix ‘ba’ to it. This is because until some point in time, Gandhiji is said to have had an intense sex drive. The night his father was breathing his last, Gandhiji was with his wife in their bedroom and his father died at that very time (as given in his autobiography).
This incident shook Gandhiji and he was overcome by intense remorse that despite knowing that his father is gravely ill, he couldn’t control his carnal desire. From that moment he started to work on his sexual energy. And eventually the day came when he started addressing his wife as a mother figure and called her Kasturba.
The first time he called her Kasturba, she was taken aback; after all she was his wife and not his mother. But Gandhiji replied that all he could see in her was a mother figure and they would no longer live as man and wife, for he had risen above the need for having sex.
Gandhiji would keep on challenging himself with all kinds of temptations to test his resolve. However, he wasn’t a sage, as he regarded sex as a sin which one has to eradicate. On the contrary, sages have never regarded sex as being sinful or as something wrong. Instead, they regarded sex as a stepping stone to reach God. As long as you don’t rise above it, how can you connect to God? Don’t harbour any delusion that just by listening to words of wisdom your life will change.
The wise one - the one who has evolved discriminative wisdom - such a person doesn’t need to be experiencing sex to know how to rise above it. If one has a refined intellect and has an in-depth knowledge, then he will understand this straightaway. But it is rare to find such individuals. That is why sages like Guru Nanak Dev, Yagyavalka said that one should experience married life, otherwise one will not understand.
Prior to becoming a sanyasi (recluse) Buddha too had lead a householder’s life, he didn’t denounce it. However, he used his married life as a ladder for his spiritual evolution.
Hence, you too should utilise sex as a ladder for your spiritual growth. Don’t regard sexual energy as an obstacle or as your enemy. Don’t fight with it. If you liken sex to cow dung then by using your discriminative wisdom and understanding, learn to transform it into a fertiliser in which the spiritual flower of your life will blossom.
Sexual drive is energy. Transform this energy
by yogasana and pranayama, don’t suppress it.
Use your discriminative wisdom to understand it.
Make it a ladder for your spiritual evolution.
2.
SEX
THE BIGGER PICTURE
If someone is obsessed with the thought of sex, he or she will keep looking for excuses to be with someone of the opposite sex. All of his or her actions will be motivated by the desire to have sex.
So what should one do when one has the urge to have sex - should one suppress it, try to avoid being with someone of the opposite sex? No, instead try to analyse your sexual desire. Sex is not bad, man and woman’s relationship is not bad, who says it is?
Our scriptures have mentioned three uses of sex: procreation, pleasure, and a practice for spiritual evolution as used by the path of tantra.
In tantra, sex too is used as a spiritual practice, but the master gives this permission only to the disciple who has perfected the practice of kumbhaka and can do so for 30 minutes, which means that one can stay without breathing for 30 minutes. Further, he should have been strictly observing the precepts of yama and niyama (codes of conduct) and perfected even complex yogasanas. All this needs at least 5 to 10 years of diligent practice and only when one has passed through this process successfully, there are certain practices on the path of tantra which the Guru gets done from the disciple.
If a sexual desire arises within you, try to analyse it thoroughly. However, the practice of pranayama is more important than analysis alone, as prana, mind and body are interconnected. Do twenty rounds of kapalabhati followed by one round of moola bandha, repeat this process ten times. Let alone ten, by the time you come to the fifth, your sexual desire would have evaporated into thin air!
You need to realise that this body doesn’t belong to you, it has been loaned to you. Don’t waste this precious life - those who are slaves of their desires are in effect wasting their lives.
You may ask why all sages prohibit their disciples from indulging in sex - there is a very valid reason for this. The process of assimilating energy, from the food you eat and from the oxygen you breathe, is a very complex and time consuming process. And this energy is very vital, for only an energetic body can perform spiritual practices correctly and sit still during meditation. I often see that people can barely sit still for 10 to 15 minutes – this is because the body lacks energy. If you don’t eat appropriately, don’t practice yogasanas and pranayama, don’t get restful sleep, then your energy levels are going to be low.
It takes lot of time and complex metabolic processes to assimilate energy, but it takes only a moment to deplete it and this is what happens during sex. A drop of semen has the energy of around 80 red blood cells. Just think, how much food you would have to eat and what all complex processes would be needed for the body to extract the nutrients from the eaten food? So, you harnessed the energy and then simply exhausted it at the time of sex. It is like you toil the whole day and then spend all that is earned in the evening, how can you ever become wealthy? But this is the biggest attraction to humans and they end up wasting this precious energy for momentary pleasure.
In ancient times, as per the scriptural doctrine young unmarried men used to stay with their Guru to learn and perform spiritual practices under the Guru’s guidance. By consistent practise they attained experiences of heightened energy levels. Then when they returned to worldly life and got married, they would find that the fleeting pleasure of sex was incomparable to what they had experienced in the state of meditation.
In effect, the man would be searching for the same experience of bliss that he had experienced when he had lived the life of a student in his Guru’s ashram. Hence, despite getting married he would yearn for that blissful state of being, which enhanced the energy levels rather than depleting it.
But Alas! You have no clue of this energy and are completely unaware of what you lose every time you have sex. Instead, just like animals, your body secretes certain hormones and the resultant effect is that your brain wants sex and in fulfilling that desire you end up losing invaluable energy. You don’t gain anything, only lose.
And a person bereft of energy cannot perform spiritual practices. One should conserve this energy, and it is not that you lose this energy only by sexual indulgence, rather you need to have control on all your sense organs – how much you talk, what all you see, hear – this too leads to energy depletion.
I had read a Greek story: A student went to his master and said, “Master, I seek your blessings as I am getting married. Also please tell me how many times I should have sexual contact with my wife.” The master replied, “Once a year.” The youth said, “What are you saying? Only once in a year!” The master replied, “Okay, once in 6 months.”
The youth protested, “Master! I am young and my wife is beautiful.” The master said, “Well, okay once in 3 months then. But do one thing, when you return to your village, walk along the road towards the west direction until you reach the shop where coffins are made.” The youth asked in curiosity, “What should I do there?” The master replied, “Give them your measurement so that they can prepare a coffin for you, as you will need that soon.” The youth was shocked, what was the master saying?
The master continued, “You can indulge in sex every day if you want but the more you do so, the more your energy will get depleted. You will be wasting that energy which could have prolonged your lifespan. You certainly need a long life as the path of spirituality is long, and if you want to complete this journey in one lifetime then you need to conserve your energy. If you can’t do so, then place an order for your coffin right away.”
You waste such invaluable energy for just a fleeting moment of excitement and to satisfy the momentary need - the energy that could have lead you to evolve to supreme heights with incomparable bliss! And furthermore, how long does the pleasure of sexual release last? Just a short time later the sexual urge arises again. The sexual need of the body is not wrong or unnatural but the way you abuse your body is detrimental.
Srimad Bhagavat narrates the story of a yogi who for a long time had enjoyed the bliss of samadhi. And when he emerged from that state, as a result of the sprouting of a previous samskara (past mental impression), a desire to experience marital bliss arose in his mind. It is said that he expressed this desire to the King of that kingdom stating that he wants to marry his daughter.
Such is the glory of our scriptures which narrate that whenever any sage has expressed the desire to get married, he has declared it openly.
The yogi unabashedly went to the King expressing his desire without any qualm. The King was very happy to see the yogi at his doorstep. He said, “O hallowed one! How can I serve you?” The yogi said that he was keen to get married. The King replied, “I have several daughters begetted from my hundred queens. You may choose to marry anyone. I will be more than happy to have someone like you as my son-in-law.”
Now, the yogi looked old with wrinkles on his face. But bear in mind that his body was around 3000 years old – so it was no big deal that he had a few wrinkles!
The King summoned all his daughters. But on seeing the old yogi, they all downrightly refused to marry him. The King pleaded to the yogi saying “O yogi, all my daughters have refused to marry you. I don’t know what to do.” The yogi wanted to know why they had refused and the King replied that it was mainly due to his old age.
“I will meet you after two days”, said the yogi to the King and he went away. But when he returned after two days, no one could recognise him – for no longer was his body old and wizened, rather now his body was that of an attractive youth. The King thought a new young rishi had come to his palace and welcoming him with similar gusto, he asked “O hallowed one! What can I do for you?” The yogi smiled and said, “Haven’t you recognised me? I am the same yogi.” “Such a young body, how is that possible!”, exclaimed the King.
The yogi replied, “My body has reverted back to the stage of its youth.” Seeing such a handsome youth, let alone one, now all the princesses wanted to marry the winsome yogi! This indeed was a problem – how could the King marry all his daughters to the yogi? A strange situation indeed!
But the yogi reassured the King saying, “O King! Do not worry. I will marry all of them.” The King asked, “But how will you stay with all of them?” The yogi replied, “That is my problem, rest assured I will manage.” And the King readily agreed as anything was possible for the one who could reverse the aging process of his body! It is said that the yogi married over hundred women in a day – he created hundreds of bodies from his body – what would be called as cloning in current times. A yogi has complete knowledge of the functioning of the body and he can have sexual contact without losing his energy. He has complete control over his energy, he doesn’t waste it.
This is a type of yogic achievement - now each princess had the company of a handsome yogi. What will you say about this feat? You may call this an act of a lustful man. But can a libidinous person accomplish this feat? Then how can you label him lustful?
A yogi doesn’t have any aversion or loathing for the world. He doesn’t relinquish the world in abhorrence. After a prolonged period of sadhana (spiritual practices) along with presence of intense dispassion, one desire, one thought arose in his mind. And this one thought was the result of sprouting of some previous samskara and he undertook the action for the quietening of that samskara.
The yogi lived with the hundred princesses for several years and begetted several children. And the princesses were very contented with their lives, after all where would they have found such an accomplished groom. Around fifty years would have passed when one day the yogi declared that he wished to return to his life of solitude.
Having lived with the yogi for so many years, the princesses too had become wise with sharpened intellect. They too had received the fruit of the yogi’s austerities, his virtuous thoughts and deeds. They reverently bowed before the yogi and right in front of their eyes, the multitude of bodies that the yogi had created, dissolved back into the yogi’s body. The yogi blessed the princesses and returned back to the forest to continue with his spiritual practises.
The fact is that only a yogi has the permission to enjoy the sensory world, as he is truly evolved to do so. What can those with an animalistic mindset do other than live an animalistic life? That is why our ancient scriptures have directed to first master yoga and not just blindly run after the world. The world is not going anywhere, but the opportunity to master yoga is indeed rare.
Woefully, it is rare even to get the right inspiration and rectify one’s thinking. Who will teach you this? All you are taught is how to earn money, how to be successful in this material world, how to become eligible to get married.
When people look for a suitable groom to marry their daughters, all that matters to them is how much the boy earns, how big is his house, car, how he looks, and so on. How common is it for people to check the boy’s character, his virtues? And then tie the girl and the boy in a relationship that gives them the license to enjoy each other’s body and waste their precious energy, nothing more than this.
In the animal kingdom it is seen that the animals copulate only for a few days, a few weeks in a year. But the humans...! Understand the game first, before playing it. Instead the way things are, people haven’t understood the game - the entire family and the society is blindly running in the never ending race and furthermore, they encourage their children to do the same. No sooner than the boy or girl has reached the age of 20-21, there is pressure on them to get married. And within a year of getting married, there is pressure on the couple to produce a child, then the second child, and then possibly the third child to ‘complete the family!’ That is it. Is this all there is to life?
If someone has a cheque for 100 crore rupees and he uses that piece of paper as a dish to eat some snacks – would you call such an individual intelligent? Well, human life is a lot more valuable than this cheque, which you squander away in sex. What can be more foolish than this?
It is your life and it is up to you if you want to while it away. If your life is all about eating, sleeping, sex and being fearful (afraid that the partner should not die), such a person who cannot see how life is slipping away from his hands – I regard such an individual as dead, how can he be alive? Wake up!
Prana, mind and body are interconnected.
Do twenty rounds of kapalabhati followed
by one round of moola bandha, repeat this process
ten times. Let alone ten, by the time you come to the fifth, your sexual desire would have evaporated into thin air.
BIOLOGY OF
PHYSICAL
ATTRACTION
All our rishis and sages have sanctioned the natural attraction that a man feels for a woman and vice versa. And this is evident in the depiction of the intimate postures in temples like Khajuraho. Even the temples of Ajanta and Ellora depict Lord Shiva and Parvati in sexual communion, but we don’t regard those as obscene or unbefitting.
The temples of Khajuraho are very ancient and were built by the Kings of Chandela. But the caves of Ajanta and Ellora are said to have been built by Buddha’s disciples. How can a male and female disciple of Buddha be shown in intimate postures? The answer to this is that the male disciple was being regarded as Shiva and the female as Parvati and their communion was being depicted as a natural occurrence.
This entire world is a product of the natural mating of a male and female. You were born as a result of your parents’ sexual interaction, how can that be profane? It is certainly not unsanctified, but if sex becomes an obsession for a man or a woman, if the mind continually thinks about sex, then Shankracharya labels that as a grave disease.
In one of the shlokas, Shankracharya states that a woman’s breasts and navel are the key focus for a man’s attraction. Here it is important to bear in mind that Shankracharya is not demeaning women. This statement was made as both the orator (Shankracharya) and his listeners were male, hence he refers to the female body to cite an example.
Shankracharya continued that if one were to make use of one’s intellect and think carefully, what is this body other than a mass of muscles and bones? What is there in your body? Fat, blood, marrow, and you seek happiness in this? See the reality of the body.
Overcome by lust, men regard a woman’s body as the source of pleasure. Their intellect gets so clouded that they forget the reality of the body - what is there in this body that is filled with faeces, urine, sputum? And you lust after this?
I had heard a story that once a King got married to a girl who was several years younger than him. The girl became the queen but she wasn’t happy as her husband was an old man. Her parents were very poor and hence they could not refuse the King for the fear of being punished. Furthermore, the King could have forcibly abducted their daughter and then they would have to live with that stigma forever. Hence, they had reluctantly agreed to the marriage.
The young queen didn’t love the King. Instead, she fell in love with the King’s young minister who was of her age. They got attracted to each other and started having clandestine meetings. How long can a love affair be hidden from others? Soon the word spread like a wildfire and reached the King’s ears. As expected, the King was furious - his wife, having an affair with his minister!
The King was overcome by anger and he declared that he would kill the minister. However, one of his intelligent ministers advised him, “O King! You will be defamed if you carry out this act and people will question your judgement in marrying a much younger girl, they will put the blame on you. Furthermore, it is possible that your other queens may also start to emulate the younger queen’s behaviour and start having affairs. This will hurt your masculine pride.”
The King asked how else he could punish the culprit. The minister advised the King to tie the naked bodies of the queen and her paramour together. The King angrily retorted, “What kind of a punishment is that?” But the minister convinced the King to follow his advice and see the result.
The queen and her lover were stripped of their clothes, tied up together and left in a room. Now, they were alone with each other. Initially they spent the time happily chatting, laughing and uttering sweet nothings to each other and eating the food that was sent for them.
But soon they had to attend to nature’s call – they couldn’t go anywhere as they were tied up, so but naturally they had to urinate and defecate in that very place. Needless to say, the place and their bodies were soon reeking with a revolting stench. Is there any scope for lust to arise in such a situation?
With every passing day, the place was becoming increasingly unbearable. And by the 30th day, they could be heard saying, “Please separate us, please get us apart.” With all the stench around filling their noses, the revolting sight of all the filth, the physical attraction was long gone! Their bodies were there but no trace of attraction was left now. Instead, the attraction had been replaced by a strong feeling of revulsion. On the 30th day, the minister said to the King, “My Lord! Separate them now, free them, but don’t ask them anything and just watch the fun.”
The King did accordingly and as soon as the two were untied, they ran, but in the opposite directions! The queen returned to her palatial residence, that very place she wanted to run away from. And her lover left not only his house or town, rather he left the country for good!
The King did not question his queen at all, did not ask her whereabouts for the past month, and didn’t disclose that it was his way of punishing her. His wise minister had explained him that by doing so the queen would repent her actions and would serve the King with utmost gratitude and affection. And this is exactly what happened!
What is this body? It is nothing but a bag of bones full of all kinds of repulsive stuff. And you have left remembrance of the Lord in lust for this body? The precious time wasted for getting a moment’s sexual gratification could have been utilised in contemplation, meditation and remembrance of the Lord.
It is not that Shankracharya is asking men and women to hate each other or that they shouldn’t get attracted to each other, but what he is advocating is to have a balance and don’t be obsessed with sex. He doesn’t condemn physical attraction, rather he asks us to rise above the attachment to this body.
Those couples who have sex in full awareness, they rise way above the binding of lust, like Shiva-Parvati. Just as fire flares up when fuel is poured into it, likewise, sexual gratification further strengthens the desire for sex. And when the body starts to age and cannot keep up with the mental desire for sex, it leads to frustration.
Think! You are wasting your time in lusting after a bag of bones? Contemplating on this lump of muscle and fat? Contemplate on the Lord’s name, if you will. Man suffers the most from the agony of sexual desires - wealth, fame, greed are dwarfed in comparison to the pain of sexual desires.