Afterthoughts
By: Sasha Pruett
(C) 1998
Smashwords Edition
The Gift of Life
You are the sun,
That warms me by day,
You are the moon,
That cools me at night,
You are the life; my life,
Which I will always love and treasure.
Him in the Box
He's like the Jack-in-the-box,
All closed up inside,
But after a time of turning and turning,
He emerges like Jack,
But he is shaky and wobbly,
Don't hurt or put him down at all,
Or he'll close up,
And you'll find yourself again,
Turning to earn his trust once more.
Silence
Silence is the wind,
Gently blowing through the trees,
The clocks tic tock tic tocking away,
The birds and the insects talking aloud,
With silence there is peace.
Regrets
He's like the crook on the streets,
Alone; it's just him and his shadow of loneliness,
All he ever desired was one caring friend,
But he lay shivering in the cold, damp, street,
A result of the harsh, closed up, cold life,
That had begun as a child,
No one cared and no one listened,
They ignored him as the dream lost in the night,
The simple blade of grass in their dreams,
No one knew what happened to him,
It was just as well,
For they did not care,
They paid no attention,
He regretted everything,
He grew in loneliness,
And he died in it too.
Can You Ever Get Away
Imagine yourself light as a feather,
On top of the milky white clouds,
Up so high where there is no pain,
Or hunger or hurt,
No crime or fighting,
Nor war or hate of any kind,
Just lying on your soft fluffy cloud,
Looking down on the peaceful, blue and green, worry-free, world,
As if to say, "That is my home, my pride and joy",
But when you come down,
Out of the clouds,
You see that it is the same,
Non worry-free world,
Full of sick hurting people,
Crime and fighting,
War, hatred, and hunger,
So you take another look around,
As if to ask, "Could this possibly be the beautiful land I once was proud of"?
The Pain You've Caused
No one knows,
What's happening inside,
Of this girl,
Who's trying to hide,
She's sick and she's hurt,
She's tired and she's scared,
People won't go near her,
Even if they're dared,
She isn't popular,
She doesn't have great hair,
That's why the others,
Don't give a care,
They call her ugly,
And other names,
She is the one,
That she blames,
She believes what they tell her,
She believes what they say,
Alive is what,
She does not want to stay,
She skips school a day,
To keep from the sorrow,
But what will happen,
When she goes back tomorrow,
She has tried to forget it,
She has tried to hide,
She has even,
Tried suicide,
This girl that is hurting,
Very much inside,
Is in your classroom,
Trying to hide,
You may not understand,
And you may not care,
But what would you do,
If you were there,
But you do not care,
Because of your pride,
That this girls hurting,
Very much inside.
Light
Only in the soul of a Christian,
Can the light of life be seen,
And only within that light,
Can a new life be born.
Creation
The life of an artist never dies,
But is branded in the mind of the world,
And his soul is the soul of souls,
His mind the mind of minds,
And heart the heart of hearts,
For he is an artist and a dream maker.
A Beat of My Heart
You are my heart,
My heart and soul,
To be with you,
Is my lifelong dream,
To lose that dream,
Is to lose my life,
Every second of silence,
My heart skips a beat,
And a beat too few,
Could break this heart,
But my heart beats fierce,
With every “I love you”,
And they will not stop,
For the love we have,
Is true and unbreakable.
No Matter What
No matter what they say,
No matter what they do,
They cannot replace,
That part of you,
I tossed and I turned,
I thought what to do,
My lesson has been learned,
Just because of you,
In a moment of confusion,
In a moment of fear,
You will find the illusion,
Will just reappear,
I blame my existence,
I blame all men,
I blame the persistence,
Again and again,
It wasn't supposed to be like this,
I wish it never took place,
The memory I have tried to dismiss,
Is his ugly drugged up face,
He hurt me in a way,
That I cannot resolve,
Nothing anyone can say,
Will make the memory dissolve,
In sound body and sound mind,
No longer is the case,
The only thing you'll find,
Is a messed up worried face,
He murdered me with thoughts,
Of what he did to me,
My stomach's tied in knots,
With everything I see,
Nothing matters now,
For it will always be,
That someone somehow,
Tried to hurt me.
Pit of Love
Something is stirring in your mind,
That burns away at the soul,
A worry that is one of a kind,
Deeper than a black hole,
It is something eyes cannot see,
It is something hands cannot touch,
It is full of sadness and full of glee,
Something you will want to clutch,
You do not listen to what they say,
No matter what they say or do,
For as for today and every day,
You hope that he will love you,
I am speaking of pure love,
That soars on wings of doves.
Images
I close my eyes,
And you are there,
For love is one thing,
We both share,
I open my eyes,
And you still remain,
And so does my heart,
Which knows no pain,
There is something erotic,
That we do not see,
There is something exotic,
Between you and me,
Is it the romance,
Or even mystery,
It causes a fire,
Whatever it may be,
We'll end up together,
That I do know,
Because you do love me,
And I love you so,
The image of you,
Stuck in my mind,
A love like ours,
Is so hard to find,
Not all that I have,
Are images of you,
There is love and trust,
And feelings so true,
Everything's so perfect,
There is nothing to fear,
No need to shed,
Even one single tear,
I love you so,
I always will,
Even when,
You've had your fill,
I want more,
Than your image alone,
For your love is the purest,
True love I have known.
Black
Alone,
Alone and cold,
Alone, cold, and scared,
Black is cold,
It's all I have,
Scared, cold, and alone,
Scared and cold,
Scared,
Memories to painful to think of,
Denial,
Oh sweet denial,
Only time grows short,
Scared, cold, and alone,
Cold and alone,
Alone.
Abandoned
It's all gone,
I have ruined it all,
Just as I always do,
To love so much,
Is to lose so much,
Only death, oh sweet death is welcomed,
But no,
To die is oh too easy,
I am to suffer,
It is my destiny,
It is my fault,
It is my punishment,
Still there is hope,
Foolish hope I suppose,
But hope none the less,
Oh mighty God,
Hear my prayers,
I still have hope,
But still the sands run,
Leaving little comfort,
And less hope to cling to,
The light is growing dim inside this form,
This disgusting human form,
I ruin everything I touch,
Especially love,
My nurturers,
My sibling,
My love,
All gone because of me,
Confusion is great,
Why am I here,
And why must I bring such pain,
Oh dear Lord please forgive me,
I have hurt so many,
I must not forgive myself,
But I do forgive all those who have struck me down,
For in some way I must have hurt them first,
Only cruel actions could explain,
The agony and the pain,
I give up,
The more that I try the more destruction that I bring,
So for you,
I give up.
Is Anyone There
HELLO, HELlo, Hello, hello,
Is anyone there,
When I speak all I hear is an echo,
The only warmth that I feel is my own,
When I'm sad only I wipe away the tears,
And when I'm happy the only one to share it with is me,
No one asks what's wrong,
No one is here,
So is anyone there.
Alphabet Tears
Alone,
Bewildered,
Cold,
Doubt,
Emotional,
Fearful,
Grief,
Hurt,
Ignored,
Jealous,
Kicked,
Lonely,
Miserable,
Nothingness,
Oblivion,
Pain,
Quiet,
Relentless,
Scared,
Tears,
Unwanted,
Violated,
Wretch,
Xanthippe,
Yearning,
Zero.
Love Can Endure
The essence of love is the strongest of all,
The feeling of love is the most powerful of all,
The loss of love is the most painful of all,
Love, hate, pleasure, pain, comfort, fear,
All fits into one small box,
The box of the heart,
But faith; faith of the pure of heart,
Can endure,
And love; love of the pure of heart,
Can endure,
Love can endure.
Perhaps
Perhaps, by chance, if possible,
Maybe, sometime, somehow,
Somewhere, someone, some way,
Could, would, might,
No, never mind,
But perhaps.
Indecision
Why, how,
I just don't understand,
One minute yes,
The next minute never,
One minute sweet,
The next minute sour,
Come here, back off,
I want to, I never will,
I did, I didn't.
I Wonder
I wonder, one day will I,
I wonder, one day can I,
I wonder, one night should I,
I wonder, one night must I,
I wonder how come,
I wonder why not,
I wonder what if,
I wonder what now.
Everything Out There
Out of everything out there,
In our world so black,
We must stick together,
Or our love doth lack,
With everything out there,
Against us now,
We must stay open and honest,
We must learn how,
Because everything out there,
Is out to destroy us,
We must love unconditionally,
We must never fuss,
I love you,
Please love me too,
Nothing to hide,
Both on one side,
Together forever,
Ceasing never,
All in happiness,
And loves pure bliss.
Don't You See
Can't you see what is happening,
We have sunk into a rut,
You go your way so I go mine,
It's a huge kick in the gut,
Don't you see what is happening,
We are stuck in a bind,
You hide from me so I do too,
A common ground we must find,
No more turning away,
And no more hiding,
Please join with me,
Don't you see.
Golden
When all was gray and the sun was lost,
I looked to you my golden light,
For an ever so brief moment my golden ray,
Slipped behind a cloud,
But my love; true and pure persevered,
For my light of protection and love,
Never will I let you out of my sight again.
Tomorrow
I see the future,
How I want it to be,
With love and attention,
And affection all for me,
I'm in his arms,
As he kisses me soft and tenderly,
The moment lasts forever,
This future I can see,
I glide into the room,
His eyes widen; his mouth drops,
"You are so beautiful,
My love never stops,"
The stars shining bright,
As we dance close and sweet,
He looks deep into my eyes,
And he sweeps me off my feet,
I see my future,
How I wish it could be,
Just like I dream about it,
But it's not up to me.
Storytime
Once upon a time,
In a land far away,
My Prince Charming came for me,
And carried me away,
Away to his castle,
That touched the sky,
Full of love and affection,
Until the day we die,
Where we lived,
In loves pure bliss,
Where our future was sealed,
With pure loves kiss,
We stayed side by side,
Through the tears and the laughter,
In our castle in the sky,
We lived happily ever after.
Now and Then
I miss the warmth that comes from your arms,
That special feeling I get from your kiss I no longer know,
Your hand caressing softly against my skin I can only imagine,
Hearing you say your devotions of love is a thing of the past,
Knowing that you will be here for me is now just a wish,
Now I need a blanket to keep me warm,
A memory to remember that feeling,
A pillow for my cheek,
A television to hear words of love and devotion,
A daydream of you by my side.
The Bottom Line
The bottom line is that I'm alone,
The bottom line is I need some love,
The bottom line is I'm scared,
The bottom line is it's like it was,
The bottom line is I need you,
The bottom line is do you?
Nobody's Home
Our song is playing on the radio,
But I'm dancing on my own,
The words I've heard a thousand times,
But now they hurt cause I'm all alone,
Now they hurt cause I'm all alone,
My shadow's there to remind me,
That you're never here with me,
My voice just echoes off the wall,
My eyes are closed so I won't see,
They're closed but I still see,
The darkness rolls down from the sky,
And I'm reaching out to you,
But I'm all alone,
Cause nobody's home,
No one's there to reach to,
Our anniversary is today,
And I'm eating a dinner for one,
With a champagne glass filled to the top,
But the day is almost done,
Today is over and done,
Your picture is here to remind me,
That you're as real as real can be,
You're not just a figure in my mind,
Or a dreamy fantasy,
The darkness rolls down from the sky,
And I'm reaching out to you,
But I'm all alone,
Cause nobody's home,
No one's there to reach to,
I need you here to reach to.
No One's Holding On
See my hand it's empty; no one's holding on,
Look my arms are empty; no one's holding on,
Remember the lake so warm and true,
You held me tight and I felt so safe,
But now I'm cold and alone,
Remember the movies so dark and exciting,
I sat on your lap and we snuggled close,
Where you kissed me so passionately,
But now my lips don't know your kiss,
See my hand it's empty; no one's holding on,
Look my arms are empty; no one's holding on,
Remember our restaurant, secluded and peaceful,
Where we held each other's hands tightly,
As we fed each other bread,
And lived each moment for us as you stared into my eyes,
But now I never hold your hand,
Remember how we couldn't set an inch or so apart,
You wanted me close; you needed me close,
When you put your arms around me and held me tight,
But now you sit a mile away,
See my hand it's empty; no one's holding on,
Look my arms are empty; no one's holding on.
The Living Play
As the day begins,
My true life ends,
And on the mask it goes,
Till silence is here,
And there is no more to fear,
I let out what no one knows,
Off goes the smile that is painted so fake,
And now comes the guilt from promises I must break,
For them to know what has happened to me,
Would truly hurt each one of thee.
Eternity
I was looking,
Hard and long,
For love so true and pure,
I found my love,
In Gods heart,
Forever to endure.
Jealous for You
I am truly jealous,
Jealous of the wind that runs his fingers through your soft flowing hair,
Jealous of the water that wraps his loving arms around your silky body,
Jealous of the sun that gazes upon your beauty all hours of the day,
Jealous of the earth that gives you its life to feed upon,
Please dear love; let me be your wind, your water, your sun, and your earth,
Please let me love you, honestly, purely, graciously, for all eternity.
Resurrection
My loving heart bursts at a single glimpse of your beautiful smile,
Your glistening eyes burns like a fire deep within my soul,
To touch your delicate face, I would die,
To touch your heart would bring me back.
Human Race
To dream a dream,
And that is all,
Is what we do,
To rise and fall,
Nor monsters or hate,
Or devils we fear,
But our true selves,
Who will not disappear,
Even now we sleep,
In horror and dismay,
As we dream,
Of one more day,
For there is no one to stop us,
Or help us one bit,
No one to catch us,
Before we just quit,
For dreams are a part of us,
We cannot stop,
And the reality of life,
Is only a prop.
My Love Has No Boundaries
You crept into my heart,
Like a thief in the night,
You spread throughout my body and soul,
Like a virus without a cure,
My dreams are of us entwined in love,
And each day I yearn for your innocent touch,
Every inch of my body cries out in pain,
With every minute that we are apart,
For you my love is undying and true,
For you I would die a thousand deaths,
I shall love you till the end of time,
My love has no boundaries.
Lost and Found
Have you seen me,
I am lost,
And I cannot find myself,
The road is gone beneath my feet,
And my way is far behind,
The straight and worn has lead me nowhere,
Nowhere but deeper in despair,
But the rough terrain of the found,
Seems too far, too long, too hard,
But I shall be found.
Everything in Nothing
Can eyes see what is not written,
Can ears hear what is not said,
Can hearts love pure that which is not,
Is there light in the blackest of darkness,
Is there life on the deadest of days,
Or even individuality in togetherness,
Can hands feel what is not there,
Can a nose smell the empty breezes,
Who are you or myself for that matter,
Who are we that feel without hands,
That see without eyes and whose heart breaks without damage,
Who are we with souls that are blind to the everlasting,
Living for the now means dying in the later a slower death than known,
Living for the later means living in the later the life we were born to live.
Internal Beloved
Within life grows more than a lifetime of love,
A change of body and heart to last an eternity,
The movement inside creates joy unbound,
But to one growth seems slow; too slow,
In truth remains, arrival may be slow, but since is the blink of an eye.
Remembrance
For all of the souls and lives shed here,
For all brought down by the tyranny of this world,
By hatred, greed, slavery, and oppression,
For love, for freedom, for understanding, for justice,
On this very spot a life lay dying,
And a soul ceased to exist on this plain,
Where it went we cannot know,
But we can remember that once a life lay dying at our feet,
For love, for freedom, for understanding, or justice,
By hatred, greed, slavery, and oppression,
Even now as life grows within us,
It has once ended,
From ocean to ocean is as from grave to grave,
We cannot forget that blood has paved the way,
And death gave us what we have,
I remember you,
I remember you,
And will continue to until no one remembers me,
For all of the lives lost and all of those yet to fall,
I shall look to the earth and to the sky your final resting place,
For not a spot remains that has not once been littered with death, but now with life,
I shall remember you and pray.
Universal Intelligence
Are the elements of this universe wiser,
Do they see what we will not,
For each strains to be closer to God in heaven,
Yet those who heaven turn away,
The flames of fires infinite beauty glows bright as day,
Her fingers of light striking the sky,
Leaping to God stretching her arms so high,
As high as the waves of God's mighty oceans,
That in their everlasting strife's to reach God,
Ultimately her waters fall short,
But discouraged she is not for her waves continue to reach their watery fingers towards their creator,
Even the droplets who disguise themselves as the gentle breezes,
Comes to a ceasing halt as it falls back to earth,
The same earth that shifts and erupts its core when its mountains could reach no further,
And ultimately the wind must cease to collect its energy
And try once again to blow past the pearly gates of heaven,
As the birds themselves attempt to fly over heaven's gates,
Yet those made solely for heaven reaches not,
Though not because of lack of knowledge,
Which saddens the heart and soul,
That the universe can see what we refuse to,
Is it sadder to watch something reach for what it will never have;
Or missing out on the greatest thing you could have.
Chances
Would you take a chance to win millions,
Would you take a chance on true love,
Would you take a chance on happiness,
How about fame,
If you had a chance for a beautiful family,
Would you take it,
How about world travel,
These things may or may not bring happiness,
Would you still take the chance,
Then why not take a chance on Jesus,
A chance is all he asks and he can give you the world.
Rebirth
Through the darkest void of night and sky,
A single ray of a stars pure light burns,
And when stillness lays upon your eyes,
Your heart shall find an inner light,
Unbound and brilliant as none before,
The emptiness fades just as the sun chases away the night,
Shadows are dissolved and sin is washed clean,
It has begun anew.
Beholder
I remember his face only in my dreams,
Which burns deep within my mind,
I open my eyes, but his image remains,
What once comforted me only brings pain,
I dare not dream of a future time,
Or tender moments shared,
For emptiness is all that remains,
The days have no beginning and no end,
Time laughs as it flows by waving,
As I sit and wait for a glimpse of love,
Hours then days all turned to months,
And seasons vanish,
Afraid to feel, afraid not to, but trapped,
In myself, in these walls, and yet outside of time,
And I'm still waiting for my glance.
Embody
Hello, goodbye,
I'll love you till I die,
Through darkness and despair,
Together we'll be there,
To live to die,
Our hearts doth fly,
Embraced by love,
Pure white as a dove,
Dusk to dawn,
Soft as fawn,
Comfort unbound,
Excitement like none found,
Above all understanding,
Never demanding,
All as a dream,
Reality deems,
True and pure,
Real I'm sure.
Less than More
Can I love a memory?
Can I love an image?
Absence brings more than fondness,
And less than more,
What do I know?
Or feel at all,
What is the emptiness that lies ahead?
Loneliness, coldness, darkness,
Eleven o'clock and all's not well,
Three o'clock and all's not well,
Seven o'clock and not all's well,
A.m. or p.m. all's not well,
Oh well.
The Sky is Falling
Through perfect skies by dawns waking hour,
When the heavens are seen through heavy eyes,
A question is asked in faith and heartfelt desire,
For truth and love from God's love arise,
With a breeze of his touch carrying a breath of the past,
For a sound of peace whispering its part,
I see the light shining absent above with the answer of purity,
As the sky is falling into my heart.
Library
Opened at eight,
Closed at eight-forty,
Opened at two-thirty,
Closed at two-forty-five,
Opened at seven,
Closed at seven-fifteen,
Opened at four-twelve,
Closed at four-twenty-nine,
Open and close, in and out,
Later, longer, someday,
A book picked up and put down,
For minutes at a time,
But the book flings back open,
And its words run dry,
Off the pages and out of my heart,
Time to think,
Time to dream,
Time to cry,
Time to die,
Then closes again,
Rewritten to be read happily,
While the words still run dry.
Forlorn
I make love to my dreams,
I kiss my imagination,
My memories hold me,
At night and in the waking hours,
I dance with the air,
And romance nowhere,
The duets have turned to solos,
And the laughs echo no more,
My company is my own,
Light shines and dims and shines again,
Orbs rise and fall with the season's call,
Till the lights on the wall move no more,
My mind soars and heart bleeds,
Though I know that time will claim again,
And out goes everything that means to me,
Too long, tomorrow, too late.
Sleep Dear Heart
Sleep dear heart and dream no more,
Goodbye mind and think no more,
Go numb please; the pain's too great,
Forget the past; the memories too great,
Close your eyes and please don't see,
Close my eyes so I don't see,
Turn away from the window,
Turn away from the door,
Go to sleep little baby,
And be no more,
I taste the salty ends,
From the hurting means,
That which started,
All in teens,
So sleep dear heart,
And dream no more.
Quotes
Someone to watch over me,
Goodbye sweetheart, well it's time to go,
Let's fall in love,
I will always love you,
I just miss you too much,
But not right now,
I don't have time,
For you, for love, for what?
Everything,
Nothing,
Are you hot for me?
Like I for you,
Heat in love,
Love with heat,
Is it there?
Am I?
What is your language of love?
Speak it to me, please,
Make me feel it again,
Make me feel it all,
Melt the ice that's grown so thick,
Turn up the flames,
Break the bleak blackness in me,
Retouch my heart,
Retouch me.
I Touched Heaven and Heaven Touched Me
As midnight reigns upon night's dark sky,
And the angels light shine brightly above,
The words flow freely from my heart,
My dreams, my fears, my faith are yours,
So I ask with a breeze, with a star, with a hope,
I reached out in faith and touched heaven,
The purity of you knowing all of my heart reached out,
And made heaven touch me by sending an angel across the sky,
I touched heaven and heaven touched me.
Promises
A hole inside filled only with emptiness and empty dreams,
Is now full with twice the promise of fulfillment and love,
To dwell in ruin, coldness, and fear,
Transforms magically, miraculously into promise of loving peace,
More than hope and hearts could want,
Moments so brief as to not be remembered between two hearts in need of time,
In time holds promise of moments the universe shall remember and the stars shall reveal,
Thrice plus has the promise of God been given,
With enough power and love for the stars to fall into my heart.
The Eyes of None
The eyes of none compare to thee,
A heart to pure to be,
The touch so gentle as to not be real,
But lingers on as I do feel,
Stolen moments with loves first glance,
Extends through time with promise and chance,
Pure and powerful, strong and true,
Through time,
Through darkness,
From you.
Inner Light
Air of beauty,
Face so true,
Touch of innocence,
The eyes burn through,
Will as strong,
To break the heart,
But entwinement betrothed,
From the start,
A faith so blind,
Yet so right,
Much trueness seen,
Through inner light,
Words flow free,
As blood through veins,
Our oneness stays,
Where all else feigns.
Goodnight
Goodnight to thee that wakes the night,
I welcome your gift to me,
My dreams awaken and spread throughout,
And I yield to the powers that be,
To love and peace the heart speaks aloud,
Its rhythm passionate, strong, proud,
My star floats in from winter's door,
Content are we forever more.
Mystery
What hides behind thee dearest eyes,
What dreams are dreamt by thee?
Your smile so perfect in all its forms,
Each given so sparingly,
Your laughter sends tears so fierce to my heart,
The senses heighten with my sight,
A fragrance so sweet as to taste a breath,
Your silk so milky white,
Lines so strong as to raise the dead,
Inside out and outside in,
To know thine heart would rest my mind,
To feel what is within,
Do not wake me.
Fantasy
Search mine eyes of crystal greens,
For truths no sole can see,
A single breath escapes your lips,
That's where I want to be,
The senses fail with no regrets,
As you have come for me,
Solidify within my heart,
My one true fantasy,
Hinder me not unto thine heart,
As I hinder you not to mine,
For the power combined between us both,
Strong, true, divine.
Caution
In all the universe there is but one man who holds the heart of my world in his hands,
The fog so thick that blinds the world only one voice directs my way,
I beg of thee, steel no more of my heart than you can bare or misery will follow us both,
Imagination is a powerful yet dangerous weapon, deadly if desired,
The hearts blood doth change as the seasons do.
It is impossible to believe that even one touch will not change the course of the future or the heart,
Consider time, consider me, consider love, consider us,
A risk not taken is a precious moment lost,
Does the end really justify the means?
If your love is like the roses that you give me, give me not your love,
For like the rose that's beauty is unmatched it soon fades to death; lest your love prove likewise.
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each reader. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.