The Girl in the Lighthouse/All That is Beautiful
Roxane Tepfer Sanford
smashwords edition
Copyright © 2009/2011 Roxane Tepfer Sanford
http://www.thegirlinthelighthouse.com
The Girl in the Lighthouse is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons living or dead is entirely coincidental.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced or transmitted in any form or by any means electronic or mechanical, including photocopy, recording, or any information storage and retrieval system, without permission in writing from both the copyright owner and the publisher.
Arrington series
The Girl in the Lighthouse (2009)
All That is Beautiful (2010)
Sacred Intentions (2011)
For my husband Michael and our six children--Gabrielle, Myles, Douglas, Caroline, Harrison and Jack.
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Table of Contents
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Chapter One
“There it is, Lillian. Come see,” Daddy called from where he stood on deck. I ran to him and jumped into his strong arms as the cool, salty breeze whipped my long, blond hair fiercely against my face. “Over there—just around the bend.”
I shielded my eyes from the intense sun that reflected off the gleaming sea, and that’s when I saw it. The giant, white, granite lighthouse tower stood twice as tall as our last one and sat in the center of the island, which to me, was almost the size of a small village.
“You will have your very own room,” Momma said to me as Daddy pulled her close against him.
Our first home was on a tiny island off the coast of Maine, nearly twenty miles out to sea; it was the only home I knew. Then Daddy’s orders came, and he was transferred to a new station on Jasper Island, where we would have our very own quarters, and to my delight, there was going to be an assistant keeper and his family. I had never had a friend before, and was excited to learn there would be children my own age to play with. And since the island was no more than five miles from the mainland, we would be able to venture out on weekly excursions.
My years at Rock Ledge Island Station were lonely, though I had befriended an injured seal that Momma helped me nurse back to health. I named him Eli. He stayed with us until a great storm passed through the winter of my seventh year, and he was gone, swallowed up by the sea. I spent the entire year crying for my beloved pet, my only friend, until Daddy told me one day that I had cried long enough.
I was sitting on my favorite rock, staring out at the endless, dark ocean, as I had done almost every day, even through the bitter winter. However, on that particular day, the air was dry and the sun warmed my face, though inside I felt as dark as the water that surrounded me.
“Lillian, look at me,” Daddy said. He took hold of my chin and made me stare up into his dark amber eyes. “It’s time for your mourning for Eli to end—as of today. You have had more than enough time to put your heart to rest.”
“But Daddy, I miss him so.”
“In life, my darling, you will come to learn that time is your greatest asset. Time heals your heart, and soon your loss will turn into your fondest memory, and the love you had will forever remain in a place that you will never have to let go.”
At the time, I didn’t quite understand what he meant, but I did not cry another day for Eli.
The vessel anchored, and it was time to load up the boats and make our departure. Daddy lifted me up into the row boat, and I sat near Momma, who was staring over at the island. The day was bright and warm; not one cloud floated by in the pale blue sky.
On the shore of the island two young boys enthusiastically waved their hats as their parents, the assistant keepers, waited to help us disembark. I was amazed when I stepped foot on the island and climbed up the steep embankment to see the structure.
The conical lighthouse was nearly one hundred and nineteen feet of granite, with three windows along the tower and a lantern room at the top. At the bottom was the newly-constructed, white, two-story wood house with dark green shutters that was going to be our home.
The boys from below hurried to greet me as I waited to enter the house. “Hello, there,” said the tall boy with wildly curly hair, greeting me with a warm smile. “My name is Heath Dalton, and this is my younger brother, Ayden Dalton.”
Ayden was years younger, with glossy, jet-black hair and big, dark, midnight-blue eyes. He stayed almost hidden behind his older brother, peered around him, and then rudely stuck his tongue out at me.
“Pleased to meet you. I’m Lillian Arrington.”
Heath extended his arm and shook my hand.
Ayden quickly ran off and headed back down to the shore. From behind the house a large, hairy, black dog ran after him.
“That’s our dog, Lady,” said Heath. “A fisherman gave her to my father last year after he saved the man from drowning when his boat sank in Lake Michigan.”
Every lighthouse keeper had saved fishermen and sailors—sometimes dozens a year. Daddy had rescued two that very year.
From down below, someone called Heath’s name. “I have to assist with the trunks. It was nice to meet you,” he said and hurried off.
Daddy arrived with the first of many trunks, and I followed him inside the house. Momma was only steps behind.
On the first floor was an enormous main room with one fireplace. The floors were laid with strips of oak, the windows tall, with wide-open shutters. To the left was the kitchen, and in the foyer was a narrow stairway that led to the two bedrooms on the second floor. With great anticipation, I ran upstairs and claimed my room. It was large, with a fireplace and my very own closet. The window faced the mainland in the not-so-far distance.
“What do you think?” Daddy asked from the doorway, where he stood smoking his pipe.
“I love it here,” I cried, running to him.
He hugged me tight then kissed the top of my head. “Let’s get settled. Start unpacking, and when you’re done, we will head to the Daltons’ quarters for supper. They are a very nice family,” he said. Then, in his usual mild-mannered way, he quietly strolled back down the stairs.
Ayden and Heath arrived with my trunk and dropped it at the foot of my bed. Ayden hurried out while Heath lingered for a moment.
“This is quite a house,” he said, glancing around. I was mesmerized. His hair was the color of honey, and he was tall, almost as tall as Daddy. Heath had a heart-shaped face, a small nose that pointed slightly upwards, and his skin was already tanned from the early summer sun. I believed he must have been sixteen years old, but later found out he was only fourteen.
Heath smiled at me then told me he was going to someday be a doctor, not a lighthouse keeper. “As soon as I graduate from school, I will attend Harvard,” he told me. “I plan to set up practice in Boston. Have you ever been there, Lillian?”
I hadn’t known anyone other than Momma and Daddy, let alone been anywhere other than a rocky, desolate island, far out at sea. I had only seen storms and fog and ships navigating the deep, icy waters of the North Atlantic. The only company we had were either rescued sailors or dead fishermen washed up onto the rocky beach.
“No, I have never been to Boston,” I replied. “Have you?”
“Have I?” he replied with a huge grin. “That’s where we’re originally from.”
Just then, Ayden walked in carrying a large wooden box filled with all my books. Every month, the lighthouse tender made his way out to Rock Ledge Island to deliver our supplies, and that always included a new box of books and teaching supplies for Momma. Since I was three, she had tended my schooling. I loved writing and especially loved reading. The books I read took me to faraway places. In my mind, I met new people and had great adventures. My books were my only escape from my dreary, isolated existence.
“That’s the last of it,” Ayden huffed.
“I presume we will see you at supper?” Heath asked.
“Of course,” I replied then thanked them for bringing my belongings up to my room.
“See you then,” I called from the opened window of my bedroom. Heath smiled, and Ayden scowled at me.
Just before we gathered around the large wooden table set up outside the Dalton quarters, I was introduced to Edward and Opal Dalton. Edward was near Daddy’s age and Opal was years older than Momma. Momma didn’t have a speck of gray hair on her long, thick, chestnut-brown hair, unlike Opal. Momma’s skin was the color of light ivory and as soft as silk. She had large green eyes and her features fine and delicate. I resembled Momma, except my hair was platinum blond and turned even lighter during peak summer months.
Opal greeted me with a pleasant smile, and Edward said, “Hello, young lady.” Ayden looked much like his mother, but Heath was the exact image of his father.
The feast was grand, the occasion meant to celebrate new beginnings on Jasper Island. Edward gave the prayer before we began to eat. I sat with Momma to one side and Heath to the other. Daddy and Edward sat at each end of the long, pine table. Ayden sat beside Opal, opposite me. From listening to the adults talk, I gathered the Daltons had arrived from Great Point Station in Michigan only two days prior. In years past, they had also been stationed on the other coast of America, way out in California.
Despite their age difference, Momma and Opal quickly became friends, and of course, had much in common. I could see how happy Momma was to have another woman to talk to. They chatted, Heath ate beside me, and Ayden asked to be excused. He had quickly finished his meal and wanted to explore the island.
“Wait for us,” Heath insisted.
Ayden frowned then barked, “No.”
“You wait for your brother and Lillian, you hear?” Edward stated firmly. Ayden sat back down with his arms folded over his chest and shot me a look of disgust. I couldn’t imagine why Ayden disliked me so.
Heath took his time and carried on a conversation with Daddy, talking about other stations and such. Daddy had only been keeper of one lighthouse, but had served in the Confederate Navy. Daddy told me he decided to become a lighthouse keeper after years spent at sea.
“The keepers stay up all night to make certain those at sea stay safe. Now it’s my turn,” he told me. “The other benefit to my service, Lillian, is that we can be far away from the disgrace of the war.”
Daddy didn’t talk about the war between the North and South often. The only time it was mentioned was when he had a point to make or a lesson about life that he believed I absolutely needed to know. When he spoke of the disgrace, I wasn’t certain which side he believed was disgraceful. Even though Momma and Daddy were from the South—Savannah, Georgia, in fact, I believed in the war and the fight to free the slaves. I never expressed my feelings; I never wanted to hurt Daddy. If the Daltons were aware that Momma, Daddy, and I were southerners, they didn’t show any prejudice.
“Are you ready, Lillian?” Heath asked, and stood. I gladly followed him when he announced he was going to show me around.
Near the house was a vegetable garden, and close by a chicken coop. The woodshed was also near, as was the fog signal house, and not too far from that was the pump house.
“Over yonder is the oil house, and way down below is the boat house. It’s in disrepair; the plans are to rebuild it this summer.”
Ayden followed as we made our way to the other side of the island. We strolled slowly and I listened as Heath described the last keeper’s tragedy.
“His name was Victor, and he was killed in the fire that destroyed the first house, which was built back in 1815. He had been keeper for ten years.”
“And his ghost still walks the island,” Ayden chimed in, as we stood looking back at the lighthouse.
“Oh, Ayden, don’t scare her,” Heath said, and he patted me on the head. “It’s all nonsense. Ayden’s head is full of that kind of stuff.”
“No, it’s not!” Ayden shouted. “It’s true. I’ve seen the ghost.”
Heath laughed and started walking ahead. Ayden picked up a rock and threw it at Heath’s head, just missing him. Heath laughed even harder, and Ayden’s eyes welled up with tears. Before he would allow me to see him cry, he ran off.
“Come on, Ayden; come back,” Heath called, but Ayden wouldn’t return. “He’ll be fine,” he said, continuing to lead. “This is my new telescope. I have already seen a pod of humpback whales.”
The telescope stood out on the bluff and faced the great expanse of ocean.
“Go ahead, look through it.”
I had never looked through one before and was amazed at how far out into the ocean I could see.
“On clear nights, I come out to study the stars. Do you know all the constellations?”
Heath was so much older and wiser than I, and I admired his intelligence.
“Have you ever heard of Galileo?” he asked. “Did you ever read Starry Messenger?”
“No, I haven’t,” I said, lowering my eyes for fear he would think me unintelligent.
“I will give you the book to read. I can teach you everything you would ever want to know about the galaxy,” he said, looking up into the early evening sky. I was excited that Heath was so interested in me—that he wanted to teach me things I never imagined I would learn first-hand.
“Later tonight, if the fog doesn’t roll in, we’ll come out here and gaze up at the stars through my telescope. Maybe Ayden will want to come, too. For now we should be getting back now. I have evening chores to do. Besides, you’d better ask your father if you can stay up that late.”
Heath apparently thought I was a little girl. He didn’t realize I often worked as Daddy’s first assistant when Momma wasn’t feeling well. I knew how to wash the windows of the lantern, trim the wicks, and had even hauled oil to the top of the tower. I had once stayed up all night, ringing the bell until the fog lifted.
“I’m not a little girl,” I said on our way back. “I don’t have to get to bed.”
Heath stopped and turned to me. “If you don’t mind me asking, Lillian—how old are you?”
“I am eleven.”
Heath smiled, his eyes softened, and then he said, “Just as I thought. Ayden is eleven, although he acts more like a five-year-old.”
We stood for a moment as Heath waited for my reply. I didn’t have one. Once again, I lowered my eyes, fearing he would see my insecurities. To my surprise, Heath didn’t ignore my feelings as he had done with Ayden.
“Don’t feel bad. You’re a smart girl, Lillian. I can see that. You and I are going to learn so much here. After the summer is over, I will row you out to the mainland, where you will attend a real school. Doesn’t that sound exciting?” Heath put his arm around me, and my heart skipped a beat.
“Yes, it does,” I said, giving him a warm smile. Heath smiled in return and walked me back to my house, his arm still on my shoulders.
Before I went to sleep that night, I stood at my window and watched the fog roll in. Daddy stopped in to see me before he made his way up to the tower. “Would you like to work the fog signal tonight, Lillian?” he asked.
“Yes, Daddy,” I replied. Daddy nodded his head and said he would see me shortly. Momma soon came up to my room to brush my long hair. It was a ritual we followed every night, even when she wasn’t feeling well. Momma had gone to dozens of doctors on our infrequent visits to the mainland, and none of them could figure out what was wrong with her. She was often tired and achy, and her only relief was sleep. That’s when I would take over as first assistant for her. I had been learning the duties of a keeper since the age of four. Daddy said I was a natural—that if I wanted to, I could grow up to be a principal keeper. He was certain of it.
“You’re a special girl, Lillian; you can do anything you want. Look at your mother. She is smart and funny and the most beautiful woman I have ever laid eyes on. You’re just like her,” Daddy said as I sat on his lap when we were at the very top of the watch tower, staring out at the sea.“The whole world is yours to make of what you want. It doesn’t matter what people say or think. You do what makes you happy, no matter what.”
Whenever he spoke, I gazed into his eyes and somehow knew his words would help me in my most troubled times.
Momma came in, led me to the bed, and then began to brush my hair. “Do you like it here, Lillian?” she asked.
“I do, Momma. Very much.”
“Are you happy to have friends?”
“I am. I know Ayden, Heath, and I will become the best of friends. Heath is so smart; do you know he wants to become a doctor someday?”
“Really? That certainly would be an achievement.”
“And Ayden—well, I don’t think he likes me much,” I said, and sighed heavily.
“Why do you say that?”
As she continued to take long strokes of my hair with the soft brush, I tried to think of an answer, but nothing at all came to mind. Momma saw my trouble.
“I think I know why,” she said softly. I tilted my head and turned around to face her.
“He thinks you are the most beautiful girl he has ever seen. Since the moment he laid eyes on you, since the first moment you stepped into the room, you captured his heart,” Momma said wistfully, her eyes glazed over, as if in her mind she were far away, in another time and place.
“Momma, what do you mean?”
Her eyes fell onto me and she smiled. “It means Ayden loves you and will someday proclaim his love to you.”
I didn’t think for one minute that Momma was right. Ayden didn’t think I was beautiful. And the only man who loved me was Daddy, and the only man I secretly wanted to be in love with me was Heath. If anyone someday would proclaim his love to me, I wanted it to be Heath. I wasn’t ready to confess to Momma my feelings about Heath. I was too embarrassed. I had seen what love was; I had seen Daddy and Momma together. They shared themselves in a way that both frightened me and left me curious at the same time. When Daddy kissed her, she would melt away in his arms, and nothing else mattered. When Daddy climbed in bed with her, I was afraid. On the nights that Daddy loved her, I closed my eyes and wished myself away. I was scared to have a man love me like that. I wouldn’t want Heath to love me in that way.
“You look tired, my sweet girl. Why don’t you lie down and sleep?”
I yawned and rubbed my eyes, then said, “I promised Daddy I would give the fog signal tonight.”
“I will do that for him. You get some sleep; it has been a long day,” she said, and pulled the covers up over me.
I agreed and kissed Momma goodnight. As she closed the door, I thought of what it would have been like if the fog hadn’t rolled in, and Heath had taken me out to his telescope and showed me the constellations. I hoped we would be able to do it some night. I hoped he wouldn’t forget his offer.
By late morning, the fog had burned off, and shortly after cleaning up the breakfast dishes, which I washed over at the well pump, I suggested the boys and I go see if we could find some rocks with fossils in them. Heath thought it was a great idea. Ayden showed no interest.
“I would rather haul the oil up to the tower than search for some boring fossils,” he grunted.
“Okay, it’s your choice,” Heath said, shrugging his broad shoulders. He turned to me and winked, then said, “It’s just you and me, kid.”
The day was warm, and as predicted, the brisk ocean breezes kept the summer days from ever becoming too hot. On the beach were thousands of rocks, both large and small. Immediately, Heath found a rock that had a plant fossil embedded in it.
“What kind of plant do you think it was?” I asked, watching him peer closely at it.
“I’m not sure. I will have to look it up in my book. Let’s get more, and we can make a pile over here.”
We combed the shore and found dozens of rocks, and as I sat picking through our pile, Heath came over and said, “Close your eyes and put out your hand.”
I did.
“Okay, now open your eyes.” Heath placed a beautiful seashell in my hand. “That is called a King’s Crown.”
I gazed up at him as the shimmer of the sun’s rays from the ocean cast a glow behind him. I couldn’t see his face, only his silhouette. No one had ever given me a gift before, except Momma and Daddy on my birthday. But it wasn’t my birthday, and the token gift was given to me by a boy who thought I must be special.
“That’s for you to make a collection. Then you can learn every name of every seashell on the shore.”
My heart sank as I realized Heath hadn’t meant it as a gift, but as a tool to learn. I swallowed my disappointment and said, “Thank you, Heath.”
“You’re welcome, kid.”
The day before, he had called me by my name, not “kid.” Kid was the name of a goat, not a girl. In spite of my frustration, I got up and continued to search for more seashells with him.
“This one is an Imperial Venus. And this one is an Atlantic Bubble,” he said with great enthusiasm. Then, out of the corner of my eye, I noticed Ayden lying on the ground, trying to hide and spy on us. If Heath saw him, he didn’t let on. Instead, he reached down, picked up a stone, and threw it as far as he could out into the water. In the distance, a schooner sailed by. Above us, the seagulls flew into the light wind; some landed and walked the beach.
Heath then picked up another stone, but instead of throwing it out into the ocean, he quickly spun around and barreled the rock at Ayden.
“I see you there, Ayden,” Heath called, laughter in his voice. Ayden scrambled to rise as Heath picked up another stone and aimed it at his brother, but this time, he did not throw it. “Why are you spying on us, little boy?”
Ayden stood tall and proud, then picked up a piece of drift wood and flung it at us, almost hitting me.
“Hey, you almost hit Lillian! Say you’re sorry,” Heath commanded. Ayden hurried to throw another stick. Heath’s eyes grew dark. Ayden saw his brother’s anger and turned to run, but Heath was fast on his trail. I scrambled up the small embankment and watched Heath catch up to Ayden and grab the back of his suspenders, then they both toppled to the ground.
Ayden lay on the ground while Heath held his arms down to keep from being punched.
“Say you are sorry,” Heath commanded.
Ayden refused.
“I’m going to hold you down until you say it, Ayden,” Heath warned. I stood over him and waited for Ayden to give in.
Finally, after what seemed like an eternity, Ayden looked at me with eyes full of fury then looked away, muttering, “I’m sorry.” Heath loosed his hold on Ayden. I watched as he ran off, heading far away, to the other side of the island.
Heath stood and brushed the dirt from his trousers with his hands. “I apologize for my brother, Lillian,” he said softly, gazing over to where Ayden had run off. “He has a fire in him that I don’t understand.”
I was taken in by Heath’s chivalry, in awe of his looks, and enamored with his gentlemanly charm. I thought of what Momma had told me the night before. There was absolutely no way Ayden felt anything other than hatred for me. I was certain of it.
Not long after, we gathered our rocks and brought them back to the house. Heath and I parted ways at my front door.
“I’ll see you later, kid. I’m going to go read for a while,” he said.
“Bye, Heath.”
I eagerly caught his inspiration and ran up to my room to take out one of the books I hadn’t yet read. I shuffled through the box and picked up The Innocents Abroad, by Mark Twain. Once again, as always when I read, my mind was transported to a place far away—to countries I imagined visiting some day. There I would meet new people and have new adventures, just like Mark Twain. I envisioned my journey taking several years, and by my side would be the man of my dreams. Before, the man I would someday marry had only been a vision as thick as the fog that rolled in almost every night we were stationed on Rock Ledge Island. Now my vision was clear, and for certain, the man who would share my adventures would be Heath Dalton.
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Chapter Two
At week’s end, Daddy, Momma, and I took the row boat and headed towards the harbor and the mainland. It was a once-a-week excursion Daddy and I made, if not hindered by the weather. Momma came along only that one time.
The village was large, twice the size of the tiny harbor village we journeyed to from a vessel that took us off of Rock Ledge Island in years past. Then it was only for a day, and not more than twice a year. Then Daddy had been quiet, his expression forlorn. Momma had been thrilled to get off the isolated, gloomy island, as was I.
This new village we ventured onto was bustling with activity. There were two large shipyards and several taverns by the docks. There were fisherman, as well as children and families walking the road up to the main street, where there was a general store and several shops. There was a bank, a hotel, and a post office. It wasn’t long before I caught sight of the school house and the church just up a small hill. Momma and Daddy had never taken me to church. We did our Sunday praying at home and studied the Bible for most of the morning. Momma loved to sing hymns, and one day wished to have her very own piano. From what Momma told me, the Daltons rowed to the village every Sunday for services. She told me we wouldn’t be doing that. Momma also said by the end of the summer we were going to get back to our studies, and I wasn’t going to attend school with Heath and Ayden. I didn’t understand why.
“But there is a school, and Heath will row us to the village. Momma, please, can’t I go?” I cried one night as she sat in her rocker and sewed a loose button back onto Daddy’s uniform.
“No, Lillian. I am your teacher; you stay home with me.”
“I don’t understand,” I pouted.
Daddy returned from the woodshed and overheard our disagreement.“You will do as your mother says,” he stated, and threw her a look of concern.
I stopped arguing with her about attending school with Heath and Ayden. Daddy’s law had been laid down, and I would never dare challenge it.
I followed Daddy into the general store while Momma went over to the post office to pick up our mail. Usually, the only letters we received were envelopes with Daddy’s wages.
Daddy talked to the store owner for quite a while as I walked around the small shop. On a high shelf sat a row of porcelain dolls. I had never owned a real doll before. These were beautiful; some had golden-blond hair, but the one I liked most had chestnut brown hair, the same exact color as Momma’s. The doll’s dress was navy blue with red ribbon, and she had on tiny black shoes.
Daddy came up behind me and put his hands on my shoulders. “I’m finished here. Let’s go find Momma.”
“Daddy, do you see that pretty doll?” I asked, pointing up to it.
Daddy reached over, turned the price tag, and shook his head.“It is very pretty, Lillian, but it costs more than we can afford. And besides, I have a secret to tell you,” he said, lowering himself down to whisper in my ear. “I have ordered Momma a piano for her birthday next month.”
I couldn’t imagine where Daddy got the money to buy Momma a piano, but it really didn’t matter. I knew how happy it would make her. I smiled widely, and Daddy reminded me to keep the secret hush. I swore I would.
Momma had Daddy’s pay in hand, and together we headed over to the bank. Afterwards, we strolled back through the village. I walked ahead, noticing the other children playing in small groups by the docks. Because I was busy staring at them, I didn’t see the large man that stepped out of the tavern and plowed right into Momma. I spun around and watched Daddy throw a punch at the man while bystanders rushed to help Momma up.
“Momma,” I cried, and ran over to her. Daddy laid a second punch into the sailor’s strong jaw, sending the man to the ground. He lay there, holding his face, glaring up at Daddy. Momma got to her feet with some help, and I hurried to let her lean on me.
Daddy towered over the man that made Momma fall and protected her, just the way Heath had done for me.
“Come, Garrett, take me back,” Momma said, her voice shaking.
He turned his back on the man and took hold of Momma. “Are you sure you are all right, Amelia?”
She nodded.
All the way back to the island, I let Momma lean on me as we sat side by side in the boat. Momma was too frail to be knocked down. I saw the worry in Daddy’s handsome face. He rowed on against the current until finally we were back on Jasper Island. Daddy pulled the boat onto the shore and carried Momma off and all the way up to the house. Heath and Ayden came over to see what was wrong.
After I had explained what happened, Heath hurried to get his mother so she could help tend Momma. Ayden stood there for a moment and stared at me, and instead of scowling, his eyes softened, and he helped me up the embankment without a word.
That night, Momma didn’t come up to brush my hair. She slept through supper. I helped Opal prepare supper then clean up the dishes. Edward took on the night shift, and Ayden assisted while Daddy stayed with Momma and watched her sleep. I stood at my window and gazed up at the sky, which was full of stars. I used to wish on stars when I was younger—that Momma would someday not be tired and sick. But as I grew older, I realized that my wishes weren’t coming true.
Down below, I saw Heath make his way out to his telescope by the light of the moon. It wasn’t long before I was outside, trailing behind him. He didn’t see me and wasn’t aware that I sat and watched him peer through his telescope into the sky as the light from the beacon rotated out to the ocean. I watched him for what must have been hours, until I tired and my eyelids grew heavy. Too tired to fight it any longer, I rested my head on the cool, sandy ground, and drifted off to sleep. Later, I was woken by a sharp jab in my leg. I sat up and rubbed my tired eyes, trying to focus. With my vision blurred, I gazed up at what I believed was Victor’s ghost! He was an old man, probably more than one hundred years old.
“Are you Victor?” I gasped.
The ghostly old man didn’t speak, but turned and disappeared into the blackness. With great fear, I scurried up and ran back to the house. I did the best I could to quietly creep in, not to wake Momma and Daddy. I was successful, and as soon as I got to my room, I climbed into bed and pulled the covers up over my head. Ayden was right; the ghost of Victor was real!
I didn’t mention my encounter with the ghost to anyone as a long, stormy week went by. I stayed inside and kept my nose in my books, or when I wasn’t reading, stayed with Daddy in the watch tower. With the bad weather, the light needed to be flashed throughout the day. By the fifth day of endless rain and fog, the inclement weather finally broke, and Momma emerged from bed. Daddy was worn from the days and nights tending the light and worrying over Momma. The light he kept on the sea now shined through Daddy’s eyes when she came and hugged him, then placed a long kiss on his lips. Daddy held her close to him and told her he didn’t know what he would do if he ever lost her. The two stood before the fire in the kitchen, unaware I was there. Their passion for each other tuned everything else out; the rest of the world didn’t exist. Even I was a mere shadow in the room.
It wasn’t long before we were celebrating Momma’s birthday on a hot July evening. Edward, Heath, and Ayden had just finished the lengthy process of repainting the lighthouse tower, and they washed up just before we served supper. Opal showed me how to bake a cake, which I would present to Momma afterwards. Opal was very talented at baking, and I memorized her instructions. Daddy had been to the mainland and had the boat loaded up with the piano. I couldn’t imagine Daddy rowing the piano out to the island, but sure enough, he did, and with the help of the Daltons, brought it to shore and up to the house. They put the piano in our parlor, Momma unaware. She had been preparing the chicken all day.
After supper, I presented Momma with the cake. Everyone was very impressed, although the cake was slightly lopsided. Ayden was the first to dig in, and he gobbled down his giant piece.
“This is really good,” he mumbled between bites. It was Ayden’s first compliment, though not a very gentlemanly one at all. Heath praised me for my efforts and complimented me on learning how to bake so well under his mother’s guidance.
Momma was thrilled. Daddy couldn’t wait to give her the big surprise. As soon as she took her last bite of cake, he swooped her up and guided her back to our house. He even tied a handkerchief over her eyes then led her inside. When Daddy removed it, Momma’s eyes flew open and she covered her mouth to muffle her cries of joy. Daddy stood back and watched her run her delicate fingers over the keys as her eyes filled with tears.
“Oh, Garrett, how did you manage—”
He stopped her before she could continue. “Sit down, Amelia, and play a hymn for us.”
We all encouraged her, and after some persuasion, she agreed.
“It has been years since I played,” she admitted with some apprehension then she began with “Holy, Holy, Holy.” Momma’s voice must have been created by angels, for angels. It brought a tear to everyone’s eyes. Heath appeared especially touched and stared at Momma. Her angelic voice sounded all the way up to the heavens.
“Thank you all for such a wonderful birthday,” Momma cried, sending a shy smile over to where Daddy was smoking his pipe.
When the evening grew late and Daddy made his way up to the tower, Momma came in to say goodnight. I sat on the bed, and she gently brushed my hair. Momma was unusually quiet and kept gazing out my window, to the light that flashed every few seconds. Daddy was up there, cranking the weights every few hours to keep the Fresnel lens turning.
“Did you really have a good birthday, Momma?” I asked when she was just about done.
“I did, Lillian. Thank you so much for the delicious cake. You did a fine job,” she said, then kissed my cheek with her soft, warm lips. She smelled especially good that evening. I recognized her perfume. She wore it only on very special occasions.
“You sleep tight, my darling,” she sang, then blew me a kiss from the doorway. I knew where she was going. Daddy would be pleased to have her company. Daddy hated when Momma was away from him, even if it was only for a few hours. I wondered if all husbands felt that way about their wives. Would my husband one day feel that way about me? I wondered.
The first Sunday after Momma’s Bible lesson, after Daddy read two gospels, she sat at the piano and for hours played her favorite hymns. The Daltons had made their way to the mainland to attend services, but I couldn’t imagine being more inspired or closer to God than at our very own house. Momma never looked more beautiful than when she was at the piano, and Daddy’s eyes never left her, not even for a minute.
By late day, the Daltons had returned, and we all sat down for Sunday supper. Instead of eating outside as we had done almost every day since we arrived, Daddy invited the Daltons to dine with us at our house, and Momma and I prepared the entire meal.
They arrived in their Sunday best. Edward described the service that Reverend Martinson gave. Daddy sat back and listened while Opal and Momma talked about the late-summer agricultural fair. Opal was working on a quilt she wanted to enter.
“There is going to be a circus coming next week,” Ayden announced.
It all sounded like so much excitement for the summer. I had never been to either one of those things.
“Do you think there will be elephants?” I asked.
Heath chuckled and patted me on the head, then said, “I’m sure there will be, kid. Maybe even some clowns.”
Everyone laughed at Heath’s response. Everyone but Ayden. I felt that I was the joke, that Heath thought I was a silly little girl. I asked to be excused, and Daddy allowed me to leave the table. I hurried up to my room and plopped down onto my bed. I needed to show Heath that I wasn’t a baby. I then remembered that somewhere in my box was an astronomy book. It didn’t take me long to find it, and I sat back on my bed and studied the constellations. I was going to memorize them all and prove to Heath I was just as smart and mature as he was.
He was standing on the bluff adjusting the telescope when I appeared out of the darkness. Startled, he stepped back then realized it was me.
“Lillian, what are you doing out here?”
“I came to study the constellations with you.”
Heath looked back at the house, then back to me. “It’s late. Don’t you think—”
I interrupted him. “Up there—that is Draco. And over there—” I pointed. “Is Hercules.”
Heath didn’t know what to say. Instead, he stepped aside and allowed me to peer through the scope. The stars appeared so close and clear.
“Over there. Can you see Ophiuchus?” Heath asked as he stood behind me, his mouth close to my ear. “It’s the one with thirteen points. The constellation represents Aesculapius, who was the patron of medicine and the son of Apollo.”
I lifted my head and turned to look at him. Heath stepped back and uncomfortably cleared his throat, then said, “That’s my favorite constellation.”
I smiled, though I was certain he was unable to see. I knew I was making a difference. Heath was slowly going to notice that I was a young lady. It was going to take time—years, in fact, but one day, Heath would see me as a woman.
I was thrilled when the very next evening, Heath waited for me to walk out to the bluff with him and gaze up at the midnight sky. We walked quietly across the island as the late-night breezes became chilly. I had forgotten my shawl, and as we were about to start our observations, Heath noticed me shivering.
“Here, have my coat,” he said. “You’re cold.”Tenderly, he placed it over my shoulders.
“Thank you.”
Just then, Ayden came running up. “Can I see, too?”
Heath looked to me, and I just shrugged my shoulders.
“Sure, kid. Look through it. Can you see Scorpius? Remember where I showed you it was?”
Ayden was unsure for a moment then he drew back and said, “I see it.” He pointed up to the exact location. Heath and I were impressed.
“How about Ophiuchus?”
“That’s his favorite,” I chimed in.
“I know,” Ayden snapped.
Heath nudged his arm. “I mean, I was aware of that, Lillian.”
“Now it’s Lillian’s turn,” Heath said.
“What should I look for tonight, Heath?”
He thought for a moment then said, “Find me a planet.”
I didn’t want for one moment to let him see my uncertainty. I wasn’t exactly sure of myself, but I took a chance and pointed one out. “That’s Venus.”
“Perfect!” Heath said, patting me on the back. “She’s smart, Ayden.”
I waited for Ayden to scowl at me, but to my surprise, he didn’t. Instead, he nodded in agreement. I stayed out on the bluff with the boys. Once we grew tired of the telescope, we lay down on the ground, the three of us, side-by-side, and gazed up at the galaxy. We were quiet, deep in our own thoughts. I thought about how wonderful my new life was, how lucky we were to have been sent to Jasper Island. I had friends now—best friends. Even though Ayden didn’t like me, there was something about him that made me want to be his friend. I wasn’t sure if it were his big blue eyes that drew me in, but there was something special about Ayden. I hoped one day he would come to like me and want to be my friend as much as I wanted to be his. Then there was Heath. He was my protector, my teacher, and the boy who made my heart long for him, the way Momma’s did for Daddy.
By late morning, Momma still wasn’t out of bed, another day that she was too tired to rise. It was clothes-washing day. Without her assistance, I gathered the clothes and brought them outside to the washboard. The day was warm, warmer than I had ever remembered in late July. On Rock Ledge Island, it was always cold, even in the middle of summer. Opal was working in the vegetable garden, and Ayden was feeding the chickens. Daddy and Edward were on ladders outside the watch tower, cleaning the windows. I hadn’t yet seen Heath. I presumed he had his nose in a book up in his room.
After I did the washing, which took much of the morning, I set out to hang the clothes on the line. The basket by my feet, I stretched as far as I could to hang the heavy, wet clothes, but I was just too short. I was looking around for something to stand on when Heath came around the side of the house and hurried to assist me.
“Here, let me do that, kid,” he said, taking the dress from my hands. I stepped back and watched as he hung the dress on the line for me. He reached down to do the rest. Ayden came over and began to laugh.
“Heath is doing woman’s work,” he giggled.
“Be quiet, Ayden. She was having trouble.”
“Maybe Mother can sew you a dress, Heath.”
Heath ignored his brother. One by one, he pulled the wet clothes out until he was finished, then he winked at me and strolled off.
Ayden called out, teasing Heath, “You’re a sissy, Heath. You’re a girl.”
“Hush up, Ayden,” I flared when I had heard enough.
“Why? Is Heath your boyfriend?” he asked. Ayden’s eyes narrowed as he inched closer and closer to where I stood. I immediately shook my head.
“I think you like him. Do you two kiss?”
Tears began to well in my eyes. “Stop it!” I shouted, then turned and ran to get away from him.
Heath saw me running and called out to me. “Lillian, what’s wrong?”
I couldn’t answer. My throat choked up with wretchedness, I found a private place to sit. On a rock, I sat with my knees up against my stomach and buried my head in them. What Ayden said had frightened me. I didn’t know how to handle the overwhelming personal secrets I had concerning Heath. I was afraid of all the new feelings, feelings I had never had before. As much as I fantasized about Heath marrying me, I was afraid of his kiss.
From where I sat on the cold rock, I noticed a pod of whales out in the ocean. There must have been nine of them. As far as I could tell, I believed them to be humpback whales. I used to regularly see them near our old station. I never realized my feelings could ever be hurt; it was the first time I had been teased or treated badly. Daddy had often told me that people could be mean, that there were evil men in the world, and girls like me needed to watch out for them and stay far, far away. He warned me never, ever to be alone with any man other than himself. When he said this, he had such intensity in his eyes that it scared me to think of what he was trying to tell me. Why were men other than Daddy bad? Were they all like the sailors that knocked Momma to the ground? Mr. Dalton wasn’t like that. He was as kind as Daddy. I was sure Heath would grow up to be a good man. But would Ayden be the kind of man Daddy told me to stay far away from, the kind that smelled like rum and always looked bedraggled and dirty?
The vision alarmed me, and I quickly put it out of my mind. Inside, Ayden was a good boy. He would grow to like me; he would eventually stop teasing me, and someday, I prayed, would become one of my best friends.
_______________
Chapter Three
When I returned to the house, Heath and Ayden were waiting for me by the front door. Heath stood behind Ayden, and as soon as I approached, Heath pushed Ayden forward and whispered, “Go on.”
Ayden’s head hung low. He kicked up the dirt and refused to look at me. Heath grabbed Ayden by the back of his collar after the long hesitation and made him face me. With an expression smothered in defeat he said, “I’m sorry, Lillian.”
“What are you sorry for, Ayden?” Heath demanded. Heath was angry, angrier than I had ever seen him. His clear blue eyes didn’t sparkle as they always had, but were dark and disturbed by how Ayden had made me feel. Heath tightened his grip on Ayden, which forced him to speak.
“I am sorry for teasing you. I didn’t mean it. I will never do it again.” Heath let go, and Ayden ran away, completely humiliated.
“If he ever speaks to you that way again, you come and tell me, okay?” Heaths eyes softened, and he reached to touch my cheek then said, “Ayden needs to learn not to pick on little girls.”
I would have cringed at his words if he hadn’t touched my cheek with his strong hand, which made me tingle all over. Heath then pulled a book from his pocket.
“This is my book about fossils.”
Heath was always so kind and generous, I thought. “Thank you, Heath, for everything.”
“That’s what friends are for. Don’t forget that, Lillian.”
I would never forget that we were friends.
“I have to go gather up the wood. I’ll see you at supper.”
With my new book in hand, I went inside. Momma was awake and baking loaves of bread. The house was hot and stuffy—even worse in my bedroom. I placed the book in my box then headed back outside. I decided to go down to the shore and put my feet in the cool water. The ache in my heart had subsided, and I felt much better about the day. The clothes on the line were not yet dry and needed another day. Lady followed me down to the water and sat beside me while I pulled my shoes and stockings off.
The cool water was a great relief to my swollen feet. I lifted the hem of my dress and waded into the water as far as I could without getting it wet. Lady loved the water and jumped right in then paddled around. I grabbed a piece of wood floating in the surf and threw it out to her. She retrieved it with her teeth and paddled back to me so I could take it from her mouth and throw it back out again.
I was near the boathouse. The wooden structure had been destroyed by years of battering rains and winds and was about to crumble. From what I could see, it used to house at least two boats. Most of the wood floating in the surf was from the boathouse.
It didn’t take long before I was cooled off. I sat and stared out into the calm sea waters. There were all kinds of vessels afloat. The closest one was a whaler. Daddy had once rescued the entire crew of a whaler. As Momma and I stood in horror, watching the giant ship plunge into the sea, Daddy rowed through the treacherous, icy waters to save the men.
My thoughts drifted back in time, and it took a moment to realize there was someone watching me, someone behind the boat house. Lady sensed my fear and stared at the dark shadow.
“Who’s there?” I called, hoping the fear in my voice would not be easily recognized. Lady gave a warning bark, then another. Suddenly, a mysterious old man hurried to a small row boat he had pulled up behind the structure and began rowing. Lady went after him, but couldn’t catch him, and he rowed further and further away. I recognized him from the night I fell asleep under the stars. It was Victor!
I couldn’t wait to get back and tell Ayden. He would be interested; he would want to see where the old man was hiding. He would be glad to learn there was no ghost, only a strange old man. I went to find him, but he was nowhere around. Opal was plucking the chicken for supper, and I asked where I could find Ayden.
“He went to the mainland with Heath,” she said, not looking up.
I wondered why they hadn’t told me earlier that they were planning on rowing over. I was just going to have to wait to tell him what I had discovered about who was lurking on Jasper Island.
Heath and Ayden hadn’t returned by nightfall, and Opal began to worry. The storm clouds covered the almost-full moon, and the winds began to pick up in intensity. The waters grew into large swells and churned against the shore. Daddy was up in the tower, and Edward set out to look for his sons. Soon the rain began to fall, and thunder boomed up above. An occasional streak of lightning crossed the enormous sky, sending chills of terror through me. Momma and I climbed the circular iron stairway, up to the top of the tower, to join Daddy.
“Do you see them out there, Garrett?” Momma asked, her face consumed with worry.
“The visibility is down to about a quarter-mile. The rain is blinding. But they have the light, Amelia; they will always have the light to bring them safely home.”
Momma clung to Daddy, and I stared out into the bleak, stormy night.
“We will man the light. Go with Edward,” Momma said. Daddy agreed and hurried to help with the possible rescue.
“Are the wicks ready to be trimmed?” Momma asked. They weren’t. I did that while Momma adjusted the vents. “This is just terrible.”
“Isn’t there anything else we can do, Momma?” I asked.
“No, Lillian. We are helping right here. They will get back safe; I promise.”
She hugged me close as we both stood, looking for any sign of them. It was a long time before we saw anything; then in the midst of the terrible storm, we spotted a boat.
“Over there; it’s them,” Momma cried.
As fast as I could, I ran down the endless flight of winding steps. Outside, through the wind-battered rain, I hurried to where Edward and Daddy had pulled the boat up onto the shore. To my shock, there was the old man I had seen earlier. He had rowed the boys back to the island. I looked from him to the boat. Ayden’s body dangled in Heath’s arms; Heath’s eyes were filled with fright.
“He went overboard,” Heath cried.
Daddy took Ayden from Heath’s tired arms and carried him to shore. I began to shake in fear as Daddy checked Ayden for signs of life. Opal had brought a blanket and as fast as she could, wrapped it around him. Edward collapsed to the ground next to Ayden and began stroking his hair.
“Come on, boy; don’t leave us,” he said, his voice firm, insisting that Ayden obey his father.
Opal sobbed over him while Daddy did everything he could to clear Ayden’s airway. Heath stood frozen in the rain. And just as we were about to give up hope, just as Daddy sat up and looked to the sky above, Ayden began to breathe. Violently, he sat up, and Daddy turned him over so he could heave up the salty ocean water. Opal fell to her knees and thanked the Lord. Daddy and Edward breathed a sigh of relief. Heath began to tremble and sat down on the cold, wet sand, and the ghost blended into the darkness of the night and disappeared. Edward gathered up Ayden, and he and Opal hurried back up to the house.
“Come, Lillian; you need to get out of the rain,” Daddy said, guiding me towards the house. I turned to look back at Heath. He continued to sit, his head in his hands, as the cold rain saturated him. I tried to call out for him to come with us, but he couldn’t hear me over the thunder. Daddy hurried me along until I was inside, and left me to change into dry bed clothes.
“I have to go back up to the tower and relieve Momma,” he said from outside my door.
I listened as his footsteps moved down the hall, then the stairs. I wanted to go back out to Heath. I threw on my shawl and went to where he had been left behind. Heath was drenched; his hair was wet and pressed flat to his head. His clothes were soaked. He didn’t see me approach and was startled when I put my shawl around him. I nervously waited for him to thank me; instead, he threw it off and yelled, “Go away! Leave me be.”