101 CAT TALES
True tales about what we do for our cats and the things they do to us.
BY LIN MAREE
Copyright 2011 Lin Maree
Smashwords Edition
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It finally dawned on me, almost like a light coming on in the attic allowing you to see what was right in front of you the whole time. We call our furry little friends our pets. We buy them toys, clean their bathroom facilities, and living quarters, as well as prepare their meals all for no monetary gain on our part.
Our payment is love and affection, often only when it suits them
This compilation is a collection of real; Yes, I said real things people do for their cats, and their cats do to them.
Our four-legged friends, in their infinite wisdom, know who really owns whom, and they don’t let us forget it.
Even with all this said we would not give up our cats for anything. They fill a part of our lives that would otherwise be empty.
I understand that not everyone will share our point of view, and will most likely consider us fetched in the head. That is another book all together.
A special recognition has to go out to everyone who helped with the making of this book. Without your thoughts, stories, and suggestions, this book would not have been possible. I thank you, and I am sure the readers will thank you, also.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
2 - WHO GETS WHICH SINK TONIGHT?
3 - WHO SAYS YOU CAN’T TEACH A HUMAN A NEW TRICK?
4 - YOU SHOULD HAVE GIVEN ME THAT LAST TREAT!
6 - HERE, LET ME HELP YOU WITH THAT
7 - THIS IS FOR YOU BECAUSE I LOVE YOU
10 - DON’T TOUCH THAT, THAT’S MINE
20 - I’M NOT READY TO GET DOWN
21 - I JUST WANT TO BE WITH YOU
29 - THINK THE CAT WILL LIKE IT?
35 - THAT’S PRETTY, LET ME HELP YOU FIX THAT
42 - MOM IT'S TIME TO COME HOME
44 - I DIDN'T SAY YOU COULD TOUCH ME
46 - YOU COULD NOT CATCH A FLY
52 - THE BOY SCOUTS IS FOR BOYS
54 - ARE YOU DRINKING OUT OF THE MILK CARTON AGAIN? I’M TELLING MOM!
59 – HELP! THEY’RE AFTER ME! GET ‘EM OFF!
65 - LOOK WHAT I BROUGHT HOME, CAN I KEEP IT?
74 - I'LL TAKE DOOR NUMBER TWO
76 - BABYSITTING ISN'T WHAT IT USED TO BE
84 - READY FOR ST. PATTIES DAY?
86 - HOW CAT WOMAN GOT HER NAME
88 - DID SHE JUST CALL THAT BABY UGLY?
89 - MAYBE THAT WAS NOT SUCH A GREAT PLACE TO HIDE
90 - CHRISTMAS TREE DECORATIONS
92 - I KNOW WHAT YOU GOT FOR CHRISTMAS
98 - SATURDAY MORNING CARTOONS
99 - WHICH ONE SHOULD I CHOOSE
101 - MOM QUICK, GIVE ME A QUARTER!
One night, my husband looked over at me and asked, “Honey, can you get me the remote?”
Looking over at him, I was about to say you can get it yourself, its right next to you on the end table. I stopped myself, and promptly got up when I noticed that our cat had just made himself comfortable on my husband's lap. I instantly knew there was no way for him to reach over to get the remote without disturbing our cat.
There are perk's for whoever has to get up and retrieve the remote control. I now had the remote! He sat in stunned silence with his hand held out ready to receive the remote, as I walked over and sat back down in my chair.
Smiling at him coyly, I boldly pointed the remote at the television, and then tuned in his favorite show. I figured I had pushed this as far as I could without causing him to get up and disturb the cat. We both had a good laugh.
2 - WHO GETS WHICH SINK TONIGHT?
While getting ready for bed, we noticed one of our cats sitting in one of the double sinks in the bathroom. Thinking: If we turned it on, she would quickly free up the sink, we proceeded to turn on the tap to a drip.
Instead of running away as we had predicted, she began to play with the dripping water. We then turned it on to a slow drizzle. To our amazement, she became ecstatic and played with the water even more!
She was getting quite wet, so we finally picked her up and put her on the floor. The next night when we turned off the television and headed for the bathroom to brush our teeth, we were quickly passed in the hallway by a black blur.
When we arrived at the bathroom doorway, she was already sitting in the sink waiting for the water! Now, my husband and I race to see who gets to use the sink in the master bathroom with our cat, and who has to use the sink in the guest bathroom.
3 - WHO SAYS YOU CAN’T TEACH A HUMAN A NEW TRICK?
Our cat is a snuggler; she wants to be completely under the covers, with both of your arms wrapped around her. She prefers to be on the right side of the bed near the edge. She will let you know if you are not doing it right!
If you are lying on your left side, she gently taps you on the shoulder or your forehead, until you roll over and scoop her up.
After she is tucked under the blankets and wrapped in your arms, you can both go back to sleep. If she has to get up in the middle of the night, she is extra careful not to wake you, until she comes back and wants to be held again.
4 - YOU SHOULD HAVE GIVEN ME THAT LAST TREAT!
I had just given our two cats their nighttime treats, when Tess decided she needed one more. I bent down and sternly told her she already had all she was getting. She then proceeded to follow me around the house, stopping to stare at me whenever I stopped.
Attempts to shush her away and get her to stop staring at me, were pointless. Finally, just when I was about to give in, she walked away.