The Diva Discovery Plan
By:
Becky Shafi
A 14-day journey for women of middle age
Find your joy through discovering
and embracing your inner Diva.
The Diva Discovery Plan
Published by Becky Shafi at Smashwords
Copyright 2011 by Becky Shafi
Cover art: Rita Y. Toews
Image attribution: Blastoceal, under Creative Commons Attribution-Share Alike 3.0 Unported license
Smashwords Edition License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be resold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever without written permission from the author. Brief quotations may be embodied in critical articles or reviews.
IN JUST 14 DAYS YOU CAN:
Change destructive thought patterns,
lose weight, heal broken relationships,
gain confidence and self-esteem, and…
become more powerful
than you ever dreamed possible!
About This Book
For women in mid-life:
Mid-life is a unique turning point for women. For most of their adult lives, middle-aged women have been wrapped up in their careers or in the lives of their children and families. They often arrive at mid-life to find they’ve inadvertently created an existence that no longer fulfills their innermost dreams and desires. They wake up one day to realize that the past few decades have been a total blur, and they have no idea how they’ve come to this point in their lives. Looking back they see that they’ve spent most of their time caring for others and not enough time caring for themselves. They may find that they are in dead-end jobs, feeling inadequate, over-weight, unstylish, out of shape, and unhealthy in their body, mind and spirit. Maybe some of this sounds familiar to you. If you’ve reached this point in your life and are ready for a change, this book is for you.
The middle-age turning point is a good time to start directing your own destiny and manifesting the happiness, beauty and wealth that’s rightfully yours. It’s time to find your joy and live the life of your dreams. In this book, Becky Shafi goes step-by-step through a 14-day program that will help you do just that. If you’ve tried for years to lose weight, get into your ideal job, and find fulfilling relationships, you’ll want to try the Diva Discovery Plan. After just 14 days you’ll start to see significant changes as you begin to manifest the life you really want.
Introduction
Not long ago I was working at a job I hated and felt trapped in a marriage that caused me considerable unhappiness. My body was out of shape and my face was looking haggard. I was living in a disheveled home that made me depressed. My life was one disappointment after another. I felt that I was just biding my time until I retired, my kids got out of college or I won the lottery.
It took a threatened layoff at work to finally shake me up. For years I knew I needed a serious change, but somehow I felt paralyzed by my feelings of inadequacy and wasn’t able to get out of my horrible rut. The idea of being out of work really scared me and I decided that I should look for another job, gain some self-esteem and finally lose the weight that made me so uncomfortable. It was time to make some serious changes and set my life on a new course.
For many years I’d been reading self-help books on personal enlightenment and spiritual realization. I’d tried many diets and health regimes. I took yoga and meditation, but nothing seemed to stick. I was in my mid-life and had gotten stuck in the mommy pattern. I did everything for my kids and nothing for me. My children were getting older and didn’t need me as much. It was time to work on myself. I was finally going to do it and nothing would stop me!
I secured a new job and took two weeks off before beginning at the new company. I vowed that I would make those two weeks really pay off! All the books I’d ever read, all the programs I’d ever tried, all of that learning would culminate in a two weeks’ adventure to create a new me.
I wasn’t exactly sure how I’d do it, but I proceeded in the faith that I would. I held the vision of myself as a new, thin, stylish, confident woman and acted as if it were already true. I took one day at a time, proceeded with an open mind, and welcomed any new learning or assistance that came my way. Teachers and lessons did come my way. It was as if the universe responded, bringing me everything I needed when I needed it. The transformations that took place were just short of a miracle. The husband who had tormented me for years had changed. The diet I tried actually worked. My house became a place I enjoyed and was proud of. In every way imaginable, I was able to change my outlook and everything in my life changed as a result.
It wasn’t always easy. It took a lot of hard work. But, the payoff was more than worth it. I discovered many things along this journey and realized that as a woman in mid-life I faced challenges that younger women don’t have. Women of mid-life have issues that men and the younger generation don’t understand. They also have incredible strength and wisdom. Through harnessing this strength, I was able to achieve more than I ever thought possible. I went deep inside myself and discovered my inner sacred Goddess. When I worked to discover and embrace her, I was able to heal myself.
I want to share my journey with other mid-life Divas and help them live as the sacred beings they were meant to be, to find their joy and learn to love life again, and get more of all the good things they desire.
Whether you’re looking to find more joy, lose weight, have happier relationships, wake up your sex life or get into a job you really love, you can achieve it once you learn to harness the power of your inner Diva - your sacred inner self.
I’ve devised this 14-day program based on my own experience. You may wish to modify it to fit your personal circumstances - but know that it WILL work. You simply need to believe, think positively, have faith and don’t give up. You are a Diva, a creation of God, made in the image of God. As a woman you are a Goddess with powers that you can’t begin to imagine.
I am inviting you to imagine, to embrace, to dance and to sing with your inner Diva. It’s time to live the life you’ve always wanted.
Preparation
There are several things you’ll need before you start your Diva Discovery journey. You may wish to take a day or so to prepare yourself before you begin.
Get a Journal:
You’ll need a journal. Much of the work you’ll be doing will be mind work. Thoughts are much more powerful when written. As a Diva, I suggest a journal that will fit in your purse – or get a cute bag to carry it in so that it will always be with you.
Watch The Secret:
Next, I suggest you watch the movie “The Secret.” This movie will motivate and inspire you to take meaningful action to change your life and get more of what you want. The movie focuses on how to use the law of attraction to manifest a new reality for your self. Just before I embarked on my journey, someone happened to mention “The Secret”. I had watched it years ago and believed in its message, but I needed a refresher. Circumstances conspired so that I could borrow it from a friend. The movie and its principles are at the heart of your journey. You should watch it (or at least parts of it) every day during your two-week plan. You can buy the movie at Amazon or visit http://www.thesecret.tv/, or check with your local library, you might be able to check it out there.
Go Food Shopping:
If one of your goals is to lose weight and you are interested in the diet portion of the Diva Plan, you will be embarking on a strict diet. The diet will help you change poor eating habits and will give you good energy through healthy foods. If you’d like to follow the diet as outlined, the first four days consists of a lemonade fast. This is a cleanse program that will help rid your body of toxins and impurities and will kick-start your diet. After the four-day cleanse you will be eating mainly fruits and vegetables. Be sure to have enough of the right foods in the house so you can stick to your Diva diet plan.
For the lemonade fast –
*16 lemons (Limes are ok too. You can get a variety)
*Pure Organic Maple Syrup
*Cayenne pepper
*Mint tea
*Smooth Move tea
After the fast –
Get a wide variety of your favorite fruits and vegetables. Be sure to have melons and lots of lettuce for salads. Apples and bananas are great portable snacks. Raisins and nuts are good too.
Be sure to have multi-vitamins and if you are low on iron (as many women are) also get an iron supplement.
Get an Exercise DVD:
If you don’t already have an exercise routine, you’ll want to start one with the Diva Plan. While I went through the program, I did yoga with the fitness channel on my cable TV. If you don’t have access to a fitness channel, I suggest buying a yoga DVD or video. If you like Zumba or kick-boxing or any other type of fitness program, feel free to purchase one of those instead. I like yoga for its low impact and focus on balance and body awareness. But, this is your program. Do what makes you feel good.
Water bottle
A Diva is always hydrated. It will be important to have a water bottle with you always and drink water often.
Chapter 1
Getting Started
Mental Preparation – Things to know before you begin
As you begin your 14-day plan you’ll need to be mentally prepared for the changes that are going to take place in your body, mind and spirit. Know that you’re going on a journey, and if you do all the exercises sincerely with the belief that you’re transforming your life, you’ll experience a major shift in your consciousness and will begin to manifest more success and attract more of the opportunities you’ve been craving.
As women of middle age we may be spending too much of our time being mentally focused on signs of aging – our lined faces, our flabby bellies, our sagging chests. As you move into this journey take the time to start shifting your focus to more of the positive aspects of being older. Older women are more experienced. Our sexuality is more developed and refined. Maturity shows on our faces, but many people consider this a sexy attribute. Start to appreciate all the benefits of being an older woman. Be thankful that child rearing, and the stormy days of youth are behind us and a new life is dawning. Begin making these mental shifts. When you find yourself starting to focus on negative physical attributes, gently shift your thoughts to the beauty and grace that older women bring. Focus on these qualities and begin to feel that you’re beautiful, smart and confident.
There are other areas of your life where you’ll want to start making mental and physical shifts in preparation for what’s to come. First, make mental notes of the aspects of your life that you’d like to change and improve. You may wish to lose weight or maybe you’d like the confidence to move into a new job or relationship. Start to focus on these key areas and begin to imagine that you’ve already achieved these goals. It’s important to think of your goals in the present tense, rather than something that will happen in the future. If you keep your desires held in the “some day” state, they may remain there forever. Someday goals sound like this: Someday I’ll be happy. Someday I’ll be thin and healthy. Wrong! You only have the present. You can be happy NOW. You can be successful NOW. Start thinking this way as a beginning to your Diva Plan: I am so happy and grateful now that I am thin, healthy, happy, successful and beautiful.
All the work you’ll be doing in this plan is beneficial to all areas of your life. You’ll need to work on your body and your mind to improve your relationships and your job. Know that personal transformations are all encompassing. Begin to mentally prepare yourself to fully commit to the entire 14-day plan.
This is a journey of positive thinking. You need to turn off the external messages that will decrease your energy and create unnecessary worry in your life. If you’re sincere in your desire to change, it would be best if you don’t watch TV news or listen to radio news talk shows. Don’t watch programs or movies that create worry or stress or cause your mind to dwell on negative images. This includes crime shows or cop programs which include murder, sexual abuse or the occult. These images will cloud the progress you’ve made and will make it more difficult to advance quickly. The mind will manifest what you think about most. These shows, while entertaining, bring many negative thoughts and images into our mind. These thoughts create a perpetual loop of negativity. During the Diva program, you’ll want to celebrate and live in the light of beauty. It’s extremely difficult to do this when your mind has been polluted with the images of death, murder and depravity.
While I went through the program I found myself wanting to enjoy the downtime of TV. However, when it came to choosing something to watch, I wanted something uplifting and there isn’t much to choose from on network TV. I finally chose to watch the movie The Secret. (http://thesecret.tv/) I would watch it over and over and with each viewing I found a new message that I hadn’t previously internalized. I recommend that if you want to watch TV, either choose a comedy or watch The Secret. It will really advance your practice and assist in your progress.
You may also be spending quite a bit of time alone as you work through the exercises. I found that listening to positive affirmations such as meditations and prayers were a good way to clear my mind. I also enjoyed listening to calm, quiet music as I did my exercises or spent time alone. Quiet is OK too. Try just being quiet with yourself – no TV, no radio, no music, just quiet. This is a great time to let the mind just “be.” Start coming into awareness and begin to shift the negative thought patterns that are keeping you from advancing.
You’ll want to stay away from negative people, especially those who love to gossip and focus on life’s hardships or spread bad news. Don’t spend too much time with people who are prone to complaining or being critical of themselves or others. Once you’ve completed your journey you can connect back with your friends and share a positive attitude that may help them change their outlook as well. They’ll see the changes in you and be drawn to the noticeable transformation you’ve made.
If you’re taking part in the diet, you’ll be fasting for the first four days. This is a great time to quit bad habits. Do you drink too much alcohol? Are you addicted to sugar? Is caffeine your downfall? Use this time to kick the habits that are harming your health. Perhaps you’ll want to get rid of all the alcohol in your home. Maybe it’s a good time to throw away all your sugary snacks. If your refrigerator’s full of soda pop and ice cream, why not give it to the neighborhood kids? You won’t want to have temptations around that might cause you to lose focus.
In preparing for the fast, you need to consider your current state of health. The fast is meant to be a detoxification of impurities and toxins in your body. Many people have toxins built up in their colon and intestines. It’s best to do a colon cleanse before beginning the fast. There are herbs available to help with this cleanse. Begin the night before with a flush of your intestines. If during the fast you’re not having bowel movements, you’ll need to be sure to flush your intestines once a day. You can do this by utilizing a saltwater flush, drinking smooth move tea, or even taking a laxative. The saltwater flush consists of one quart of pure water and two tablespoons of natural, non-iodized sea salt. Drink this water all at once and within an hour you should have cleared your colon. Using the laxative is the least preferable method because it’s not a natural procedure. Try the other methods first. If you’re feeling lethargic or achy while fasting, you’re probably experiencing a backup of toxins in your system and should make sure that you’re clearing your bowels.
It’s extremely important to always feel good when you go through this program. You may be too busy to do every exercise every day. Don’t beat yourself up about it. Don’t get discouraged. Keep the momentum and give yourself love and understanding. To help yourself stay in a good mood I suggest that you dress nicely every day and make sure you have at least a minimum amount of makeup. When you feel like you look good, you feel better about life. Some days you may just want to relax and be natural. As a mid-life Diva, I know this feeling. However, in my personal experience, when I would dress in old clothes and my hair was a bit messy or dirty, it was very easy to find myself in a less than happy mood after just a few hours. My outer body was lacking attention, and my inner self started to take notice. Take time to make yourself feel pretty on the outside, and you’ll match that feeling on the inside. We aren’t twenty years old any more. We aren’t able to throw on a pair of old sweats and look sexy. Sorry, it takes a bit more work now - but, don’t despair! We can still be sexy! So, take the time to look and feel great, the payoff is worth it.
The very best way to go through the program would be to take time off of work and clear your calendar so that the next 14 days are all about you. I understand that this very difficult for most mid-life Divas. If you need to work during the program, don’t fret. You can adjust your schedule to allow time for most of the exercises. I would suggest that you do the meditation and journaling in the evening after work and then do the corresponding practice the following day. Otherwise, you would need to wake up very early to give the journaling sufficient time in the morning. Whatever you do, make sure it works for you. Maybe it’s not easy for you to do an hour of daily yoga. Perhaps you’d like to try a yoga session for two hours once a week. Or, you may wish to substitute a daily thirty-minute walk instead of yoga. Perhaps you already take a kickboxing or Zumba class. Great! Adjust the schedule to fit your life and allow yourself to be flexible. Be open-minded to change. It’s your “intention” that’s the most important factor in this journey. Hold the intention to change and don’t waver – you WILL be successful!
The key to making this a successful journey is finding the pace that fits your life. If you’d like to take the program at a slower pace, by all means do what fits your schedule. Maybe you’d like to do each day’s work on the weekend. Maybe you’d like to give an entire week to working on each area of practice. The point of the program is to progress, to grow and learn and become a Diva in body, mind and spirit. Whether you take the program exactly as outlined or do only the exercises that most speak to your own personal area of growth opportunity, it’s my hope that you’ll find a working foundation that will help you in creating the personal growth plan that fits you and your specific life circumstances.
A couple of notes on approach: You’ll notice that many of the exercises and daily reminders are repeated each day. Repetition is the best way to change old patterns. Also, keep in mind that this book isn’t meant to be read in a single sitting, but rather to be referenced on a daily basis. It’s a daily practice. Open the book each day or just print the page(s) as you need them. Each morning as you wake, you’ll be asked to write what you’re grateful for. I cannot stress enough how important repetition is to your progress and the daily gratitude list is key to shifting the direction of your life. Feel free to write the same gratitude list everyday. Or, think of new things to be grateful for. It doesn’t matter. The most important thing is to FEEL grateful and to write statements that reinforce your thought patterns. Don’t skip this part or feel that it’s not essential. It’s critical to establish a pattern of gratitude, a pattern of commitment and creating new disciplines. In addition, there are daily reminders about the progress you’ve made and a repetition of the previous days’ lessons. This is meant as a time of focus. Take time to read this passage each day and internalize your progress. Focus your mind on your goals and think about them often during the day.
In addition to journaling and writing, a daily meditation is part of the plan. If you’re not familiar or comfortable with meditation, this may seem strange to you at first. Be open to the changes that you’ll be able to reinforce through this practice. Give it a try. Realize that the internal work is probably the most important part of your journey. You may know certain things are true intellectually, but when you experience them on a metaphysical level everything changes. The internal work of meditation can take you to a different plane and has the potential to be some of the most life changing work you’ll do. Give it a try. Be open. Be sincere. Be persistent. BELIEVE that it will absolutely bring change, and it WILL.
Also note that I don’t profess to be a nutritionist or dietician. The meals outlined in the plan are meant to be examples. You don’t need to follow them exactly as written. If you are diabetic or have other medical or nutritional issues, please consult your doctor or other specialist before making changes to your diet or taking part in the lemonade fast. Use your own best judgment as you embark on this journey. If your goal is to lose weight, know that you must make some major changes and stick to them. Use the journaling time to write statements of commitment to assist you in making meaningful and lasting adjustments in your daily eating habits. Even if your plan is to simply reduce your portion sizes, you can lose weight when you think positively and have a sincere and deep intention to take real action that will change your life in so many ways.
The basic tenant of the Diva Discovery Diet Plan is to honor your Diva body through eating only healthful foods that create good, pure energy. This means eating mostly fruits and vegetables, avoiding carbohydrates including sugar and sweets and keeping all portions small. Staying healthy and thin means eating nutritious foods and avoiding foods that are over-processed. Processed foods such as chips, crackers, cereal, bars, powdered drinks and anything that comes in a can or a box, often have chemicals and other additives that cause weight gain and disease. Avoid these foods and seek out whole foods such as vegetables, fruits, nuts, beans, seeds, and lean meats. Some of our favorite foods such as bread, pastries, bagels, cookies and deserts should be avoided during this plan and then eaten very sparingly once you have completed the plan. Make sure you’re drinking plenty of water. You should try to drink up to eight 8 oz glasses a day. Water helps to keep hunger cravings at bay and keeps a mid-life Diva’s skin hydrated and healthy. Keep track of how much water you’re drinking by tracking it in your journal. Do this until it becomes a daily habit.
The ideas in this book aren’t new or original in any way. These are ideas and concepts that have been around for a long time. You’ve probably read or practiced many of these philosophies at some point in your life. The Diva Discovery Plan is new only in its approach. I found that when I’d read a book by Deepak Chopra, Eckardt Tolle, Marianne Williamson or other motivational authors, I would be completely inspired by the wisdom of the ideas conveyed, but totally baffled as to how to apply them in a practical way to improve my life. The Diva Discovery Plan takes many of these ideas from a collection of the world’s great thinkers and organizes them into a 14-day program with easy-to-do exercises that will provide instant and amazing results.
As you go through the program feel free to go to http://www.discover-your-diva.com/and give feedback on the book or comment on your progress. This is a good way to connect with other mid-life Divas and get support or give encouragement. We’re all in this together and we have so much to learn from one another.
This book was written in the hopes that all mid-life Divas may grow to fully love who they are. That they may learn to dance in their own special light and that they may finally, joyfully embrace their inner Goddesses and live as the powerful, beautiful and loving beings that they were meant to be.
Chapter 2
DAY 1 - Meeting Your Diva-Self
Welcome to the Diva Discovery Plan Day 1!
Today it’s all about YOU. Your first day will be a quiet day of reflection with some mental work to get you started. Make sure you have enough time for yourself. If you work a Monday through Friday job, and will be doing the diet, it would be a good idea to begin the program on a Saturday since Day 1 is the beginning of the fasting diet. Be sure you don’t have too many events or social obligations on the first day of your program.
On Waking:
Wake each day and give thanks. Gratitude is at the heart of beginning to realize your goodness and starting to manifest more abundance in your life. Take your journal and write at least 8 things that you are truly grateful for this morning. Take deep breaths and close your eyes. Try to really FEEL the gratitude in your body. Smile and think, “I am so happy and grateful that I’m taking time to treat myself well and change my life! I am happy and grateful for the new me that I am manifesting.” If you’re saying these words without really feeling them, do it over and over until you really FEEL the happiness and gratitude behind them. Try really smiling when you do this. It’s amazing the change you will feel just by turning up the corners of your mouth.
When I was getting started with this it took some practice until I was able to evoke a real feeling. I couldn’t truly feel it down deep into my whole body. However, when I took the time to be fully thankful that I was finally taking time for myself, I would almost feel like crying from the sheer happiness and relief that I felt. Try to really FEEL.
Yoga Practice:
Drink at least 2 glasses of water and practice yoga for 1 hour with the TV or with your DVD/CD/ or video.
Breakfast:
Make your first lemonade of the day. You will drink between 4 and 8 of these each day, depending on your level of hunger. (I only drank 4 – I just wasn’t that hungry and I got very tired of the cayenne pepper if I had too many during the day.) Be sure to take your vitamins and supplements as needed.
Lemonade:
*Juice 1 lemon and strain into a 16 oz glass
*Measure 1 tablespoon of the pure, organic maple syrup into the glass
*Add ¼ teaspoon of cayenne pepper
*Fill the glass with water and stir.
This recipe is specially designed to give you the right amount of vitamins and minerals to keep your body going. Many people will do this lemonade fast for up to 20 days. If you want to read more about it – you’ll find it online referenced as “The Master Cleanse.”
Discovering your Diva:
Today will be a day of quiet reflection and mental preparation. Today you will be introduced to your inner Diva self.
Background:
All people were created in the image of God. The bible and many holy books tell us this. This means that all beings contain the sacred and have the power to create. As women we are Goddesses. The Italian word for Goddess is Diva. The early Goddesses, Venus and Aphrodite, ruled over beauty and sexuality. The Egyptian Goddess, Hathor, also ruled the realms of music, motherhood, foreign lands and joy. As women, and especially as women in our mid-life, we embody all of the attributes of these early Goddesses. Women are beautiful and sexual, motherly and musical. Women create joy.
Meditation:
Find a quiet place and dim the lights. (I like to sit on a pillow on the floor in front of my sofa. I place my back against the sofa to help keep me sitting up straight.)
Sit on a mat or pillow with your legs crossed and your palms flat against your knees.