Tug of Love
By Giselle Lumas
Smashwords Edition
Copyright © 2007 Giselle Lumas
All rights reserved.
ISBN: 1-4196-7769-1
ISBN-13: 978-1419677694
Giselle Lumas
Fiction
Go to www.gisellelumas.com for updates on upcoming novels and/or events.
Email the author at gigisplace1@sbcglobal.net
To my parents:
Augustine Gauthier, Jr. and Patricia Gauthier
Thank you both for always being there and believing in me!
To my kids: Dreams can come true!
Gigisplace1@sbcglobal.net
www.gisellelumas.com
Chapter 1
“Do you want to go upstairs for a quickie?” my husband whispered in my ear. His strong, comforting arms were wrapped around my waist, and I could feel a hint of after-five whiskers against my cheek. Once upon a time it would have sent shivers up my spine. Now, I sighed heavily and continued to stir the spaghetti. I’d just had a hard day at work and I just wanted to eat dinner and go to bed. I knew if I told Rick that, however, he would say sex would relax me. He couldn’t seem to understand that I would rather cuddle than have sex a lot of the time. Sex with Rick had become just that…sex. I needed more. I needed to bond, but he didn’t understand that. I couldn’t just have sex with someone just because he wanted it, even if he was my husband! I had to feel emotionally and spiritually connected to the person.
Rick and I hadn’t really spoken to each other in quite some time. Well, let me clarify that. We hadn’t engaged in any deep unpredictable conversation in quite some time. We always spoke to one another, but it was always either about the kids, the house or the bills. We had two beautiful children. Kylie was six years old. She had light brown curly hair and cat-like hazel eyes, and we treated her as if she were a princess. Ricky was three and looked just like his father with dark brown hair and eyes, but when the sun hit Ricky’s eyes a certain way you could see a hint of green. Rick’s arms around my waist tightened; he wasn’t just going to take silence for an answer. I said, “I really can’t right now.
If I did, I would fall asleep and never wake up.” It was hard to say, though; his arms around me really did feel good. God knew how much I loved him, but he was asking me for a quickie. Now, if he had told me he would finish making dinner and put the kids to bed, I would have changed my mind immediately.
Instead, he abruptly removed his arms from around my waist and said, “Damn, Deirdre. You are so boring, you know that?” He walked away from me and stomped his way up the stairs. I shook my head. Once upon a time I would have cried, but instead his reaction just added a little more anger to the pile that had been building inside of me.
I didn’t see Rick the rest of the night. I didn’t want to. I heard him upstairs in our bedroom, but he didn’t come down. After the kids ate, I gave them their baths then sent them off to bed. I grabbed a blanket from the linen closet and slept on the couch. Screw Rick. I was going to sleep.
The next day, I was sitting in my cubicle at work, surrounded with pinned up pictures of my kids. I had just turned on the computer and was entering my password when my supervisor, Valerie, walked in with a young man following her. I only caught a blurry glimpse of him from the corner of my eye. I was too busy with my ritual morning task to take more notice of him. But Valerie came right over and stood in front of my cubicle. “Deirdre, would you mind training Garret on the phone today? I have to go to a meeting and all of the training classes start next week.” My skinny, blue-eyed boss knew that I would not say no to her. The last time I said no to her she had said no to my request for a day off a few days later. To add to that, a pile of work mysteriously had appeared on my desk when I returned from a lunch break.
“Sure,” I said, letting my eyes travel up to land upon Garret. My heart palpitated. He was about six two with an athletic physique. His complexion was made up of dark chocolate skin, light brown eyes with thick curly eyelashes, full lips, a small scar on his chin, and an almost perfect smile with a tiny chip on his front tooth. I stretched out my right hand to greet him. “Nice to meet you, Garret. Welcome to the wonderful world of American health insurance—before outsourcing hits us, of course.”
Valerie knew I was being sarcastic and gave me an evil warning glare. Garret smiled and shook my hand. He had a strong grip. “Deirdre, I am rolling my phone to you, okay?” My boss didn’t wait for my answer. She strolled away in her black patent leather stilettos and gray business suit—which included a tiny mini skirt. Her long blond curls bounced as she walked. She was still single, and she’d never had kids so she didn’t have the well-rounded voluptuous figure I had earned. Don’t get me wrong. I wasn’t huge, but I didn’t exactly appear to be a runway model anymore. Still, I was proud of my backside, and at least I had kept my hourglass shape.
Garret finally released my hand. Turning back to him, I took a deep breath. I could feel my big chest rise and fall. Garret seemed to notice, too. He cleared his throat. I hurried to fill the silence. “Why don’t you grab a chair from one of the empty cubicles and I’ll show you some of the screens on the computer?”
For the next few hours I instructed him on taking customer service phone calls for one of the nation’s top health insurance companies where I had worked for nearly eight years. I knew the company forwards, backwards, sideways, and diagonally, and privately I thought I deserved a promotion. I didn’t exactly know what I wanted to be promoted to but I knew I should be. The thing was that I didn’t want to be in management so it didn’t really leave a lot of options open. A raise would be nice, though.
Finally lunchtime arrived and I removed my headset with a sigh. “Let me show you the cafeteria.” Garret stood and waited while I retrieved my wallet and adjusted my burgundy blouse as I rose from the chair. Geesh, he was tall. I was five ten, but compared to his six two, I was little.
“So what’s the food like here?” He’d been quiet all morning; this was about the longest sentence I’d heard him say. I liked his voice.
“Well, it can be really good at times,” I said cautiously. “But other times I find myself running out and going to the food court at the mall. Let’s go see what they’re having today. Do you know anyone who works here?”
“No, I don’t. Would you mind if I joined you for lunch today?”
I wished that he wouldn’t because there were some things I needed to get done at my desk. But since it was his first day here I figured I should probably be hospitable. “No, I don’t mind at all.”
Garret pushed open one of the double doors and held it open for me. Wow, a gentleman. Rick didn’t even do that for me anymore. I noticed as we walked that a few of the younger women were looking at him. Looking really wouldn’t be the accurate word to describe what they were doing. Drooling would be a better description. I just hoped I hadn’t appeared that way when I initially made eye contact with him. The interesting thing was that when I turned around to see his reaction to all of the women, he didn’t even notice. He had been staring at my backside.
I couldn’t help but smile. Pointing to the big menu posted on one of the bland white walls, I said, “I think I’m going to get the tacquitos and guacamole. What about you?”
He quickly studied the menu. “I’d like a burrito but I don’t want anything embarrassing to happen while you’re training me. My stomach really does a lot after eating beans.”
I put my hand up. “Please, do not get a burrito. It’s not like the building is well ventilated. Have mercy on me, okay?”
He laughed. “Oh, I know. I think I’ll have the chicken strips and fries.”
“Deirdre.”
I heard a familiar deep female voice behind me and turned to find a five foot two, olive-complexioned woman with boyish, short, jet black hair. It took me a moment to recognize her. The last time I had seen her she was scruffy in torn blue jeans and black t-shirt. Her hair used to be all the way down to her butt, but her dark brown eyes were still big and full of adventure. They always seemed to sparkle when she looked at me. Today she was wearing a light blue suit with black pumps. I especially noticed the pink lipstick. “Jennifer, how are you? I haven’t seen you in so long!” We embraced in a hug. For some reason I felt butterflies in my stomach. She made me nervous at times.
“I’ve been good. I haven’t seen you in…what? Three years? Well, I’m back in this building now, so you’ll be seeing a lot of me.” She had been promoted a few years ago to the corporate office in Los Angeles. There had been rumors that she was coming back as director in the building I worked in. I’d wanted to call her but between work and the kids, there just hadn’t been time.
“Great,” I said, genuinely happy. This move was another big promotion, and Jennifer deserved to be promoted. She was trustworthy, confident, and cared about the company. I would have to ask her for the details of her promotion later because if I asked her now we would never stop talking. She released me from the hug and immediately took notice of Garret. “Who is this?” she asked with a big smile, grabbing his right hand and shaking it.
“I’m Garret,” he said in a much deeper tone than he had used with me. Oh, okay, I figured it had to be his I-am-a-player and-I-would-love-to-play-with-you tone.
“I’m Jennifer. Deirdre and I were in the same training class when I first started with the company. She’s a very smart woman. My guess is that she’s training you.”
“Yes, she is. She has taught me a lot already.” Jennifer raised her eyebrows. “Say, we should all sit together today for lunch.”
Before I could answer, Garret had already agreed, and the two walked away carrying their lunch trays. I found myself following them around until we finally found a place to eat on the patio. It was a nice day outside with clear blue skies, and the dark green plastic chairs were extremely hot. Garret fidgeted with the umbrella in the middle of the round table. He finally cranked it open and angled it so that we were all sitting in the shade.
Jennifer crossed her legs. “So how is married life?” she asked me. “Is Rick being a good boy?” She took a bite of her sandwich and chewed loudly. I could hear the crunch, crunch of the
lettuce.
I groaned as I dipped one of my tacquitos into the guacamole. “I don’t know what Rick does.” That might not have been the most appropriate thing to say in front of Garret, but I was still mad and hurt by Rick’s words from last night.
“Uh oh,” Jen said. “Why didn’t you finalize the divorce like you were supposed to do the first time?”
Okay, now she was giving too much information out. I was embarrassed. Garret shifted in his seat as if he, too, felt uncomfortable. He hadn’t touched his food since we all sat down. “You’re in a bad marriage?” he asked.
Before I could answer the question Jennifer butted in, “Oh, Rick loves being married. He loves his wife to cook, take care of the kids, and clean the house, but he also loves to sleep with other women. My Deirdre has tried to leave him a few times but each time he just sucks her back in.” She shook her head. “I know she could do a lot better.”
“I’m sorry to hear that, Deirdre,” Garret said. I wasn’t sure whether I should believe his sympathy since he almost seemed to have a smirk on his face. Jennifer turned her attention to Garret. “So, Greg, are you seeing anyone?”
“Garret,” I corrected her.
She put a finger up, “That’s what I meant. Garret, are you seeing anyone?”
“Well, no. I have a few possibilities but nothing serious.”
Jen smiled at that. “Hmm…this could get interesting.”
I frowned. I wasn’t sure what she was insinuating but I didn’t like it. Jen was looking from me to him then from him back at me. What was she thinking? Actually I was sure I would rather not know.
But she wasn’t about to let it go at that. “So what are your thoughts on seeing a married woman?”
I almost choked on my tacquito. I had to take a sip of my iced tea.
“I’ve never dated a married woman before. I really respect the sanctity of marriage,” Garret said then finally dipped a chicken strip into honey mustard sauce. He didn’t make eye contact with either of us.
“What if the woman was in a really bad marriage?”
He chewed on his chicken and appeared to be thinking. “I don’t know.”
“Hmmm.” Jen had a wicked grin on her face.
I had to stop this. “Jen, knock it off, please.”
Garret must have heard the slight panic in my voice. He studied me for a moment while he was still chewing on his chicken strip. My left leg had already started to shake a little from side to side as it always did involuntarily when I was nervous, anxious or terrified about something. Along with the shaking, it was now bouncing up and down as well. Jennifer knew this habit of mine very well. She lightly tapped my leg with her right hand. “Relax, Deirdre.”
My leg stopped. I switched the focus of the conversation to her. “So, rumor has it that you’re a director now?”
“Director?” Garret asked before he cleared his throat. He appeared shocked that she was in management.
“Yep, I’m the new director of the sales department. What management was thinking when they promoted me, I haven’t a clue! But I am not going to argue. You know what I mean?”
She started to ramble about her new position and what she hoped to accomplish. She was starting to get on my nerves! I was on my lunch break. I needed a break from work! I didn’t need to hear someone talk on and on about how they moved up in the company and pretty much left me behind. We used to hang out together all of the time. But when she worked in Los Angeles we never saw each other. We tried a few times but her meetings, my kids’ schedules, and life always seemed to prevent us from seeing each other. I started thinking how much Jen had moved up within the company. I knew that she didn’t kiss up at all. In fact, she was constantly challenging and telling upper management what they were doing wrong. I wasn’t a kiss up either. Hmmm…it was beyond time for me to get promoted. If I could just relax and not sound like a complete dork during an interview, I would be okay.
Before I knew it, lunch was over. Jennifer said goodbye and went to the second floor where the sales department was located. Garret and I wandered through the maze of cubicles back to our department. “I can’t believe Jennifer is a director,” Garret commented. “She is so down to earth.”
“Yeah, she’s pretty cool.”
“So, why aren’t you a supervisor or manager?” he asked me as we were taking our seats.
“I haven’t figured that out yet.” I tried to sound convincing, but I wasn’t sure if it was for Garret’s benefit or mine. “My time will come, though. Actually I don’t really see myself in management
directly. I know I want to do something more but different from what I’m doing now. I just haven’t figured it out yet.”
The rest of the day went by in a hazy ritual: work ended, I picked up the kids, fixed dinner, cleaned the kitchen, gave the kids a bath, read the kids a story, and argued them into bed.
“Look, Kylie,” I said in a very low whisper, “if you don’t go to sleep right now, I will take all of your Barbies.”
She took a big gulp. “Okay, Mommy,” she said in a pained whisper. I gave her a kiss, turned on her night light then turned out the light on the ceiling fan. “I love you, Mommy,” she said as she let out a big yawn. The night light illuminated the many posters of Barbie and Bratz hanging on her white walls. Her Hello Kitty clock said it was almost nine o’clock. I walked out and dragged my feet across the hall to Ricky’s room. He was lying on his twin bed in his racecar footsy pajamas with his feet up in the air, singing his version of Old McDonald Had a Farm. “Okay, Ricky, it’s time to go to sleep.”
“Stay wid me, pweez,” he said, his mouth filled up with saliva. He had some molars coming in. I gently pressed on his legs so they would be flat on the bed and covered him up with his Power Ranger comforter. “I need to take a shower and then I will come back, okay?” I kissed his chubby cheeks.
He smiled and yawned. “Okay.” One of these days, he would realize I knew he would be asleep by the time I got out of the shower. For now, though, he accepted it. When I walked out of Ricky’s bedroom, I could hear the television on downstairs. Good, that meant Rick was downstairs and I would be able to take a shower in peace. Maybe he would fall asleep on the couch and I would actually get a good night’s sleep instead of hearing him snore.
I practically skipped to the master bedroom, stripping off my clothes. Chills ran up my back as my bare feet touched the peach ceramic tile of the bathroom, but they calmed as soon as my French self-pedicured toes felt the warmth from the pale green throw rug. Sliding open one of the glass shower doors to turn on the water, I braided my curly brown hair into a single ponytail while I waited for the water to warm up. My hair was down to the middle of my back. There had been plenty of times that I considered cutting it, but I always talked myself out of it by reminding myself of how long it took for my hair to grow. The water was cold. I had to stand on the rug for nearly half a minute but once I was in, it felt so good. I had just lathered myself up with soap when I heard a whistle. Damn. I let out a groan, knowing an argument was brewing. Turning off the water I could hear the whistle more clearly. The tune was “I Wanna Sex You Up.” Damn, I thought again.
I pulled down my fluffy peach towel and wrapped it around me, sliding open the shower door to find Rick leaning over the sink butt naked and shaving. I looked at his reflection in the mirror. He was still whistling the tune. I let out another tired groan. He stopped whistling when he heard me. “Don’t worry, Deirdre. I am not going to ask you for sex. When you are ready to join your husband in union you will let me know.” No, no…that was not going to work tonight. There would be no guilt sex tonight. I wasn’t going for it. It pissed me off. He had never apologized for what he had said to me last night. Oh, I was mad. I just didn’t want to fight tonight.
“Deirdre, can I ask you something?”
I knew he would ask anyway even if I told him no, so I didn’t say a thing.
“Is it really that bad?”
I reached for the lotion bottle and squirted some into my hands. I rested my foot on the sink while I spread lotion onto my big legs. “Is what bad?” I asked.
“Having sex with me?” Rick asked.
I was shocked. He usually viewed himself as a super sex man who could please any woman at anytime. “Why would you even ask that question?”
“Oh, I don’t know.” He paused from shaving for a moment and looked at me through the mirror. “Maybe it was the sound of profound pain when you saw that I was in here.”
“Rick, I love having sex with you but when I am tired, I want to sleep. I would rather have a good night’s sleep than have sex when I am this tired.”
Of course, Rick didn’t understand such a concept. He was insulted by my remark. “Don’t you know that studies have proven that sex relaxes people? In fact, after you have had sex, you are more likely to have a better night’s sleep.”
Yeah, and I was almost sure that a horny man was behind that particular study and not a working mother of two kids.
I wasn’t in the mood for a fight. I also refused to give into his guilt sex. I was not going to have sex with him just because he was making me feel guilty. The next time I had sex would be when I wanted to. I would be ready to have sex when I wasn’t so damn tired and when he actually showed me that he still loved me. I wanted to make love, not screw.
I walked out of the bathroom without saying another word.
I was still naked. Oh, how I would love to sleep butt-naked under the thick comforter. After I had moved out of my parents’ house I had slept naked. I had felt so free and uninhibited. But since I never knew when my kids would walk in or call for me to get out of bed in the middle of the night I was forced to wear at least an oversized t-shirt and underwear to bed. Not to mention the fact that if I went to bed naked that would make Rick think he was getting some. So I reached into my tall oak dresser drawer and pulled out a nightshirt with Sylvester the Cat and Tweedy Bird on it. I also grabbed a thong. I would have grabbed my granny underwear but I hadn’t done my laundry as planned.
I turned off the lights and literally climbed into our queen-sized bed. The mattress was higher than my waist, and we had little steps to get into the bed. I crawled to the left side of the bed. Rick was so anal about what side he slept on. He had to be on the right side every night. He had to be by the door. I once asked him if it was because if something happened he could be the first to run out. He said it was so he would be able to protect me. He had said it so seriously. He also said since he was my Mr. Right he should sleep on the right side. This statement only caused me to roll my eyes at him. Then he laughed and we made love. I almost felt like crying from the memory. He used to really love me.
I felt myself sinking deeper into the mattress. My breathing began to slow. I let out a little moan from the pleasure of actually being in bed. Little flashes of thoughts trickled through my mind. I could see my skinny boss. It wasn’t yet a dream but I thought of Jennifer walking into my department looking for Garret. I was getting mad. I wanted to know why she was looking for Garret. Then I relaxed a little more. Garret... Just think of wonderful, gorgeous Garret, I told myself. Yeah, think of Garret with his soft eyes and full, kissable lips. Just then I heard Rick wander into the bedroom. Without even looking at him I knew that he was naked. Usually if he wore his pajama bottoms I could hear a swish, swish sound as he walked into the room. But I didn’t hear anything but his bare footsteps. Why could I see his toes perfectly with my eyes shut? His toes were perfectly diagonal from his big toe all the way down to his baby toe. He had a tiny patch of hair on each of his big toes, and he always kept his toenails trimmed and filed to perfection.
Now I was getting frustrated. Why did I have to think about my husband’s feet when I was just starting to think of Garret? Rick climbed into bed. I knew the man also was smiling a wicked smile. I could hear it in the way he was breathing. His breathing was a little on the heavy side. I also knew his brown eyes were sparkling full of hope and horniness.
“D?”
See, I knew it.
“Were you serious when you said you weren’t going to give me any D-love tonight?”
If I wasn’t so annoyed I probably would have laughed at his question. I loved it when he called me D. Instead, I said, “Goodnight, Rick.”
“Psst,” Rick pouted. He reached for me with his right hand, which conveniently landed on my buttocks. He massaged it a little then let his hand wander up to my lower back. He gasped. “How could you do this, D? You’re wearing a thong. What are you trying to do to me?”
“Goodnight, Rick.”
“This ain’t right. You tease.”
If I hadn’t been so tired I would have stomped out of the room and slept on the couch again. Yesterday I was boring and today I was a tease. What a jerk!
Surprisingly Rick stayed in the bed. I thought he would have grabbed one of the porn DVDs that he hid under the bed and taken it downstairs. I let out a yawn and soon I was asleep.
Chapter 2
The next morning at work Garret walked in wearing black dress slacks and a baby blue cotton polo shirt carrying a Twix candy bar. He stopped at my desk. “This is for you, D.” He handed me the candy bar. Did he just call me D? I was a little shocked. It sounded kind of strange hearing someone other than Rick call me that.
I took the candy bar and smiled. “This is my favorite. Thank you.”
“I saw you at the vending machine during break yesterday.” He wheeled a chair over to my desk. “So do you think that I’m ready to take some calls today?” I hesitated. “Usually we wait a couple of days but you seem to catch on rather quickly. How about the first half of the day you listen to me take the calls and then the second half of the day I will listen to you?”
He smiled. “Yeah, that sounds good.”
Jennifer stopped by my desk a little bit before lunch. “Hey, would you guys like to have lunch again?”
Garret almost leaped out of his seat. She was wearing a lavender formfitting mini dress with a black blazer. Her pumps matched the dress exactly. Management had certainly transformed my former hippy-wanna-be friend into a diva. Her hair was slicked back and she wore the same pink lipstick she’d had on yesterday.
I said casually, “Sure. Let’s go to the food court today.”
Garret rubbed his chest. I noticed a tiny sun tattoo on his right wrist that I hadn’t noticed yesterday. I would have to remember to ask him about that soon. He cleared his throat. “I think D has a good idea. What do you think, Jennifer?”
She smiled. “Okay, I’ll drive. Meet you in the lobby at twelve.” Jennifer was looking at Garret when she spoke.
“She looked very nice today,” Garret remarked after Jennifer left.
“Yeah, so do you want to go on the phone after lunch, then?” I said, changing the subject. I suddenly felt myself getting a little cranky.
“Sounds good to me,” he answered.
At lunch the two of them talked as if I weren’t even there. I started to wonder why I was there in the first place. I wasn’t Garret’s babysitter, nor was I Jennifer’s. I sure as hell wasn’t a chaperone. Maybe Jennifer just didn’t want to go out with him alone or something. I wasn’t sure. When we finally got back to the office Jennifer said, “You were awfully quiet during lunch. Is anything the matter?”
Garret had left to go to the restroom. “I just don’t know why I went with you two. If you wanted to go out alone with him you should have just told me.”
Jennifer gently placed her right hand on my shoulder and said, “Deirdre, I’m sorry. I didn’t mean to make you feel out of place. Believe me, that was not my intention. In fact it was the opposite. I missed you and at the same time I wanted to get to know Garret better.”
I licked my bottom lip. “Well, okay. But tomorrow the two of you can go to lunch without me, okay?”
Just as I had said this, Garret walked back into the unit. “I won’t be able to join the two of you tomorrow. I have a lunch date.”
“A what?” both Jennifer and I asked in the same shocked tone.
He grinned as he took a seat and said, “A date.”
Jennifer tilted her head to the side and her mouth twisted a little. “With who?”
He was still grinning. He reached for his headset. “With a lovely young lady I have known for quite some time. We’ve been trying to get together for at least three years. Both of us were seeing someone so it never happened. But now that we’re both free we can finally go out. So she is coming by tomorrow and taking me out to lunch.”
Jennifer crossed her arms and gave him a look. “Well, I guess we’ll just have to meet her so you can get our approval,” she said then added, “or not.”
Garret let out a nervous laugh, not knowing if she was serious or not.
I helped him out there. “Garret, she’s serious.”
“So what time is she picking you up tomorrow?”
“Eleven forty-five.”
“Okay. We’ll meet her at eleven forty-five.” Jennifer walked away before Garret could disapprove of the idea.
My leg started to bounce up and down. Garret gently placed a hand on my knee to control the motion. “Look, I’m the one who should be nervous. Tanya isn’t going to like meeting two beautiful women when we’re just starting to date. How can I get out of this, D?”
I put my headset on and said, “I’ve known Jennifer for a very long time. When she wants something she gets it. Sorry.”
His expression was a mixture of nervousness and wonderment. It was going to be an interesting day tomorrow.
“Now, why don’t we see how you do at taking some phone calls?” I suggested, glad that I didn’t have to be the one taking the calls. I sat back and listened the rest of the work day. Garret was magnificent, such a smooth talker. He soothed the most irate callers and was able to sound as if he knew what he was talking about even when he had to place the caller on mute several times (without them realizing it) and ask me questions. The great thing was that he only asked a question once. Valerie asked me how Garret was doing just as I was getting ready to go home. I told her I thought he was ready for the phones. She was pleased. “Have a good night.”
“You too,” I said as I hung my purse on my right shoulder and held my keys in my left hand. Now it was time to go to my other fulltime job, the one I didn’t get paid for: being Mom.
The next day Jennifer ended up calling Garret to tell him that she wouldn’t be able to meet Tanya after all. She had to go to a meeting during lunch instead. He grinned when he told me. Then he got this look of worry as if he thought I would be bold enough to intrude or impose on his date.
“Garret, relax. I would never want to interfere in someone else’s love life. Jennifer is a different story. Enjoy.” Besides, it was Friday and I wanted to finish my work. I didn’t have time to take a long, meddling lunch.
It was a relief to be done with work for the week, but things didn’t slow down much. On Saturday I had to take Kylie to her dance class. Usually during the class I had to follow Ricky everywhere because the boy just could not keep still. The only time he would stay in one place would be when the instructor put on a Disney CD. He would then start to sing along with the music and dance. He made me laugh because when a song he really liked came on he would sit there with a serious look on his face but bob his head back and forth to the beat of the music. Once the instructor had approached me and asked if I would like for him to join the class. The answer I gave her was an instant no. I knew Rick would not want his son in any form of ballet. Maybe I would sign him up for a hip hop class one day.
During class, my cell phone started to vibrate wildly in my purse. The seventeen-year-old instructor gave me a look of disgust and pointed to a handwritten sign above one of the mirrored walls: Please turn off cell phones. I held onto Ricky’s hand and pulled him outside with me.
It was Jen. “Hi, what are you doing?” she asked.
Ricky was trying to pull me back into the studio. He was starting to get mad. “Mom, come on. Mom—mmmmmy…come on. See Ky. Wanna see Ky.”
“I’m at my daughter’s dance class,” I managed with difficulty, as he was pulling the arm holding my phone away from my ear. “What are you doing?”
“I was just calling to let you know that there’s an arts and crafts fair in Thousand Oaks today. It’s across the street from the mall. Did you want to meet me there? Garret might be there.”
Hmm…that sounded appealing. The kids would probably love it. “Sure. What time are you going to be there?”
“Around twelve or twelve-thirty.”
“I’ll meet you over there. I’ll keep my cell phone on.” It was ten-thirty. Kylie’s class was halfway over. We would have enough time to go home so she could get out of her pink leotard and tights and change into a pair of jeans and a t-shirt.
Ricky and I walked back into the studio in just enough time to see Kylie leap gracefully over a stuffed frog. She did a twirl then curtsied. I smiled and clapped. She smiled back at me.
By the time we made it to the fair it was twelve-thirty. I had asked Rick if he wanted to go with us but he just mumbled something
I couldn’t decipher then climbed into his big black Dodge Ram truck. It was slightly overcast with a hint of a cool breeze. The fair was in the street, several blocks of which were barricaded off with motorcycle police standing guard. There were at least a hundred booths set up with all kinds of things: paintings and drawings on display, jewelry, clothes, balloons, food, crafts, and even reptiles. The kids saw cotton candy right when we walked in and started to beg me for some. I told them that they had to eat a lunch first. I should have packed one but I had been too much in a hurry to think of that when we were at home. So now I had to pay over price for chili dogs, chips, and fruit punch.
We found a bench under a tree near a booth where a man with a straw hat on his head was holding a snake and speaking into his headset. I couldn’t really focus on what the man was saying because Ricky could not keep still. My son had a way of making me nervous when we were out in a crowded area. I had to constantly keep my eye on him for fear of losing him. The only way I could finally get him to sit still was to remind him, “When we’re done eating all of our lunches we can go get some cotton candy. Okay?”
“Yeah!” They both cheered in unison.
In between bites of my chili dog I scanned the crowds searching for Jennifer or Garret. I didn’t see either one of them, but I figured we were bound to run into each other at some point. After lunch we stopped at the cotton candy booth as I promised and walked as we ate. Ricky’s mouth was already turning a shade of blue. His fingers were already sticky and covered with the syrup. Kylie, on the other hand, was daintily plucking little pieces of her pink cotton candy and delicately placing it in her mouth. I was kind of in between the two of them. Of course I had some of the candy sticking to the side of my mouth when I ran into Garret.
He smiled. “Hey, D. How are you?”
I rubbed my face with a napkin, which seemed to make it worse because now the napkin wanted to become a part of my mouth. “I’m fine,” I finally answered. “Where’s Jen?”
“I don’t know. She said she would meet me here. I’ve been looking her for the past fifteen minutes.”
“Well, I hate to tell you this, but she has a reputation of inviting people places and then not showing up herself. It’s a part of her charm.”
He lifted his eyebrows doubtfully.
“Really,” I explained, “she has a way of knowing what people would be interested in and letting them know about it. Just keep that in mind when she invites you somewhere because it may not necessarily mean that she’ll be there. She may just think it’s something that you would like to go to. She’s really good at it.”
“It sounds kind of flaky to me.” He actually sounded annoyed.
“What’s wrong?”
“Well, I got stood up by Tanya and now this.”
Before I could ask him what happened, Kylie exclaimed, “Mom, can we make some puppets?” “Can we, Mommy?” Ricky joined in. They were both clamoring around me with their sticky fingers.
Garret looked at me in wonderment.
I smiled at him. “Would you like to join us in making puppets?”
“Sure.” He had nothing better to do.
A man who resembled Santa Claus was sitting behind a booth surrounded by felt finger puppets, hand puppets made from socks, and puppets made with popsicle sticks. Much of what was on display were things that I could have easily made with a quick trip to the craft store. I could have made them in bulk just as he had. He charged ten dollars for Kylie’s princess puppet and five bucks for Ricky’s frog puppet. What a rip off! Still, the kids seemed to be enjoying themselves, so I guess it was worth it. Garret helped both of the kids glue eyes onto their puppets. When they were done he did a silly impersonation of a talking frog begging to be with the princess.
We wandered to other booths. Garret said, “You know, I need to look at these paintings and see if there’s anything I could put in my condo.”
“Do you have a theme yet?” I asked.
“Theme?”
“Yes, a theme. Like a room of sports paraphernalia, a room with half-naked women, or maybe a room with cars….” I could see Ricky rubbing his eyes. I knew I didn’t have much longer.
“Hmm. I don’t think I would do any of those. I would like to do something on the exotic, erotic side.” Garret grinned.
“Oh brother,” I said, rolling my eyes.
“What?”
“Such a man.”
He laughed. But as we kept walking around one booth, I noticed that Garret kept glancing at a painting of a voluptuous woman who had her back turned. Her bottom was exposed and we could see her left breast. Her head was turned looking as if she wanted the viewer to follow her to wherever she was going. Garret sure looked eager to follow her. She was painted in purple, mauve, and dark blue hues. Her hair was flowing with the same breeze that must have made her nipples peak. Or maybe it was from the feeling she felt from looking at her lover. Wow. If I didn’t have kids I would have bought the painting myself.
Finally Kylie began to complain. “Mom, this is sooo boring. Can we go home now?”
I looked at Garret. “My time is almost up. I have to get going.”
From a distance I could see a merry-go-round. I had to find a way for my kids not to see it because it would cause nothing but drama if they did. Before I could shift them away from it Garret said with a wink for me, “Hey, would you two like a ride on the merry-go-round?”
Oh crap. There was no point in warning him that merry-go-rounds weren’t what they were cracked up to be, at least not with my kids. Kylie and Ricky were overly tired and would cause nothing but drama when it was time to pull them off of the plastic-ceramic-clay-whatever-they-were-made-out-of horses. But the kids suddenly had newfound energy and Garret insisted on treating them to a ride. We stood on the side and watched as the merry-go-round began to go around in circles.
Once it was going, Garret asked casually, without looking at me, “So why didn’t your husband come?” I shrugged and said, “I guess he had other plans. He really isn’t into fairs anyway.”
“But there are so many things for the kids to do.”
I nodded in agreement as I watched Kylie and Ricky giggle, enjoying the ride. I could see Garret smiling out of the corner of my eye. “Your kids are great, D. They are so happy.”
I laughed a sarcastic laugh. “Yeah, you will think the exact opposite when we try to pry them away.”
“No, I can’t believe that.”
“Well, you’ve been warned.”
Sure enough, when the ride stopped they both asked if they could go again. Garret insisted they go at least once more time around.
“Does Rick ever take the kids out anywhere?”
It only took me a moment to answer that one. “Not on his own. He prefers to do things as a family.”
Garret shook his head. “If that were true, wouldn’t he be here now?”
I was a little bothered by his statement. I wasn’t sure if I should defend my husband or be mad at Rick for not being here. “Garret, stop ganging up on a man you haven’t even met yet. Don’t judge someone you don’t even know.”
He patted my hand. “I just know that if you were my wife, I wouldn’t like you and my kids spending time with another man.”
I was thinking of it as being with my kids and hanging out with a co-worker. I was sure that my light skin was blushing because my cheeks suddenly felt warm. “I hadn’t thought of it like that. You’re right. After this, I’m going to take the kids home.”
He reached for my hand and held it. “I didn’t mean for you to feel uncomfortable. I just don’t understand why a man wouldn’t want to spend time with his family.” Garret turned me around to face him. His eyes were so warm. I wanted him to hold me.
My eyes began to mist a little. I didn’t understand it either. Was I really that boring to Rick that he couldn’t bear a moment with me? Maybe we just had different interests and couldn’t connect. Our marriage was fragile. I hardly knew Garret, and he was already seeing the problems with it. I hadn’t realized that I was still holding his hand until he let it go.
Rick was standing in the middle of the garage tampering with some tools in his toolbox when I pulled up in the driveway. “Hey, D,” he said, sounding a little cranky. “How was the fair?”
“It was nice. A friend from work met us there. What are you doing?” I stood in the driveway attempting to pull Ricky out of his car seat without waking him. Kylie was still asleep in her seat. Clouds had moved in above us as though it was going to rain.
Rick came over to the van and eased Kylie out of her seat. She was growing so much; pretty soon neither one of us would be able to carry her. “Greg needs some help building his shed so I’m just getting some tools together. I’ll probably be there for a little while.”
A little while usually meant at least three to five hours, maybe six in Rick’s dictionary. I figured I would have a good two hours of me time since both of the kids were sleeping. “Me time” usually meant doing some laundry, rearranging the towels or at least something productive; but what I ended up doing was wandering into my bedroom. Rick had left without giving me a hug or a kiss, and I felt completely unenergetic. I told myself I was only going to lie down for a moment. Well, it turned out to be a two-hour nap. The thought of Garret’s warm hand kept entering my mind. It was so comforting.
When Rick finally returned it was almost nine o’clock at night. The kids were already in bed and I was lying on the living room couch reading a romance novel. “Why do you read those?” my husband asked abruptly.
“For the romance,” I said honestly.
“Pstt. Whatever.” He walked upstairs. After a moment I could hear the shower running. The closet door slid open then shut. There was the sound of hangers screeching and clothes being shuffled around. He was getting naked. He let out a cough, and I wondered if he had just got his groove on with one of his girlfriends and was trying to wash the scent off before he tried to get close to me. I always suspected that he was having flings even though I had never caught him. But there were always little signs. Several women he worked with made me think he probably was screwing around. I could always tell when a woman was interested in my husband. Either she could not look me straight in the eye or talk to me at all, or she would be bold and in my face, looking me up and down like I was the competition and she thought she could win. One thing I knew, Rick would always come home to me. The reasons he wouldn’t leave me was because he cared too much about himself, what his family thought of him, status, and money. He thought it was cheaper to keep me rather than to leave me. We were so complete opposites of each other. I stayed with him in hopes that we could get back to what we used to have: communication, friendship, laughter, and love. I didn’t care what my family thought because I knew they would love me no matter what I did. I wanted my kids to be happy. I didn’t care so much about money or status. But lately, I had wanted to make myself happy more. I knew that Rick wasn’t going to make me happy. So I would have to start making myself happy all on my own.
Chapter 3
“So how is Theresa?” Jennifer asked Garret while we were eating lunch out on the patio at work a couple of weeks later on a hazy Wednesday afternoon.
“Who’s Theresa?” Garret and I asked in unison.
“Your play thing,” Jen answered, “your lady. You know who I’m referring to.”
“Tanya? You mean Tanya?” Garret asked with a little annoyance in his voice.
I smiled. Jennifer was really bothered by Garret’s girlfriend. I was starting to wonder if she was developing a crush on him. “Tanya, Theresa, Tammy…whatever her name is, how is
she?”
Garret took a sip of his soda. “My lady is fine. I mean that physically and mentally.”
Jennifer appeared annoyed. “How about spiritually?” she mumbled really low. I wondered if she only wanted me to hear the question.
“Ah, so you finally went out with her?” I asked him, trying to skim over her comment. My eyebrows lifted from curiosity.
He grinned broadly. “Yes.” Then he took a sip of soda.
Jennifer tilted her head to the side, placed her elbows on the table, and crossed her arms, leaning forward intently. I could tell by the look on her face she was going to get nosy.
“So, Garret.” She licked her lips then asked in a low tone, “Have you two done the deed yet?”
Garret’s leg started to do what mine usually did, bounce up and down. “Jen, you’re supposed to be a director and you’re asking me if I got my groove on? I should take your black Chinese butt up to HRD.”
She just laughed. “You know we’re friends. Whatever is said at lunchtime stays between the three of us.”
My smile grew big. I wanted to know just as much as Jen did. “So answer the question, G,” I said. I couldn’t tell if he was shocked more by the fact that I wanted to know, too, or by the fact that I called him G. Jennifer let out a laugh. “Yeah, G, inquiring minds want to know, baby.”
Garret’s mouth dropped open. After a couple of seconds he closed his mouth, cleared his throat, and said, “A true gentleman doesn’t tell.”
Jennifer smiled. “You are so full of it. How many times have you two gone out?”
“I haven’t been counting.”
“More than twice, right?” Jen asked.
“Yes, more than twice.”
Jennifer scratched her chin and twisted her mouth to the side. “Hmm…I would say that you came close but stopped.”
Garret leaned back in his seat as if he were defeated.
“What’s up with that?” I asked, looking from her to him.
“My guess is that he had someone else on his mind,” Jennifer said.
Garret’s leg began to bounce up and down again. He glanced at his watch. “Well, lunch is over. Gotta go and get back on those phones. Right, Director?”
Jennifer rolled her eyes. He got up from the table before either one of us could stop him.
“So what’s going on for the weekend?” Jennifer asked me.
“I don’t know. I want to do something fun with the kids but I haven’t figured it out yet.”
“Earlier Garret said he was going to have his niece over the weekend. Maybe you two should hook up with the kids or something.”
“Hmm…that might be worth doing. I’ll have to check if Rick has any plans.”
“My guess is that he does.” Jennifer picked up her purse and found her pack of cigarettes.
“Jen, remember there’s no smoking allowed on company property. You shouldn’t be smoking anyway.”
She let out a grunt. “Fine, I’ll just have to get some more coffee or something.” I wanted to ask her if she was starting to feel something for Garret but didn’t have enough guts yet. Jennifer could be really sensitive sometimes and I didn’t want to get her pissed off at me or anything. The door to the cafeteria opened and Garret walked back to the table. He looked a little nervous but stopped by our table then grabbed the back of my chair. Without looking at me, he said, “I’m going to have my niece this weekend. Would you want to meet at the park for a picnic or something?”
“Sure,” Jen answered. “Mind if Deirdre comes with us and brings her kids?”
Now I was confused. He was standing by me and holding my chair. Was he asking me or was he asking Jennifer? I looked up at Garret. He wasn’t looking at either one of us. His eyes were focused to some faraway non-existent place.
Jennifer cracked her knuckles. She was dressed so professionally and looked so much like management, but here she was cracking her knuckles and stressing over not having a smoke. Such a lady, I thought sarcastically. “I would love it if D came with her kids,” he said. Finally, he looked at me. We stared at each other for a moment. I wished that he had only asked me. I wished that the question was intended for just me alone.
“What do you think, Deirdre? Would you like to join us?”
“I,” I started to stutter, “I…” I cleared my throat. “Okay.”
“Cool, we’ll talk about it later.” He walked back into the building.
When I returned to my cubicle, Valerie was standing at my desk with her arms crossed and her right foot tapping impatiently up and down.
“Is something wrong, Valerie?” I asked slowly.
She took in a deep breath. Whenever she took in a deep breath before speaking it usually meant she needed something from me. Finally she said, “I hate to do this to you, but I need you and Garret to go to the corporate office for a meeting.”
Traffic. It meant traffic. The corporate office was in Los Angeles, which was at least an hour drive. “You need to be there in an hour and a half. If you leave now you should get there in plenty of time. I’ll reimburse you gas money,” she added quickly. “You won’t have to drive all the way back out here after the meeting. You can go home right afterwards, how’s that?”
I shrugged my shoulders. “Sounds good to me. What is it about?”
“Diversity and Our Daily Lives,” she said, sounding annoyed. “I was supposed to send two representatives from my division and I completely forgot. You’re the senior worker here, and Garret…well, he’s young. It gives the impression that the company is attracting new, promising professionals.” With that veiled insult to me, she brought her hands together. “Anyway, thanks. Don’t forget your security badges.”
I told Garret, who eagerly logged off his phone and grabbed his car keys. “It sounds a lot better than taking customer service calls right now,” he said with a smile. “I’ll drive. We can take the Pacific Coast Highway.”
He made it sound like a mini vacation. Since I didn’t have to drive, it felt like one. He drove a black Camry with tinted windows. The interior was tan leather, and it still had the brand new car scent to it. We were both quiet for the first ten minutes. It felt weird not having Jen with us. I figured I would attempt to fill in the silence by saying, “So, Garret…” That was it. That was all I could think of.
He smiled though and said, “So, D…” He let out a light laugh. “It feels weird without motor mouth Jen with us, huh?”
“She can talk a lot, yeah?”
“Yep.” Garret shifted in his seat a little.
I decided to ask him simple questions I hadn’t thought of asking him before. “I just realized, I don’t know your favorite color, movie or food.”
He thought for a moment, “Well, my favorite movie would have to be The Bad News Bears with Jodie Foster and Walter Matthau. My cousin and I watched it all the time when we were little.” He smiled again. “Hmmm…. My favorite color on you would be the burgundy you wore the first day I met you. My favorite color on me would be white or dark blue. My favorite food would be anything my Aunt T cooks.”
My cheeks felt a little hot. He had answered my questions, now what?
Then he continued, “Let me see if I can get your favorites right. Your favorite color is peach but you never wear it. It’s all over your cubicle and I bet it’s all over your house.” That was true.
“Your favorite food would be Mexican with an occasional taste for Italian.” Yes. “I’m not sure what your favorite movie is, though. I have a feeling that macho, beat-em-up shoot-em-up movies are not on your list.” He glanced away from his driving momentarily to look at me. “Romance comedy. You love to laugh.”
I smiled. “Yes to all of them. I really don’t have one particular favorite movie.” We ended up talking movies, and soon we were at the meeting. The meeting was only an hour long, so I ended up getting home almost an hour early. That wasn’t the only nice thing about the day, though. Spending time with Garret had been nice, too. I couldn’t remember when I’d had so much fun with someone.
On Saturday I told Rick that I was meeting some friends at the park and asked if he wanted to go with us. His response was exactly what I expected: “Nah, you go ahead. I have some things to do around here.” He was bent over in the garage messing around with the lawn mower.
“Like what?” I asked. The kids were waiting impatiently in the car.
He finally made eye contact with me, appearing to be bored. “Like yard work. I’ll see you later.” I felt hurt. Why did I allow him to hurt me all of the time?
“Fine,” I said as I tossed my purse into the van. I climbed into the driver’s seat and turned on the ignition.
Rick shook his head as if he were fighting something within himself. He stood up and walked toward me. I rolled down my window to hear him.
“D, can we spend some time together later?” he asked, almost hesitantly.
Hmm, I thought. What is this about? “Sure.” I smiled. He stuck his head in the window and puckered his lips. I kissed him.