DEATH COMES CALLING
by
Alan Loewen
SMASHWORDS EDITION
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Published by Alan Loewen on Smashwords
Death Comes Calling
Copyright © 2011 by Alan Loewen
Smashwords Edition License Notes
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I was lying on my bed reading when I heard a feminine “Ahem.” Stunned, I looked up and saw a little girl at the foot of my bed, a little blue-eyed, raven-haired miss in a pretty pink jumper.
"Uh ...uh," I said in my best conversational manner, "who are you?"
She took a lollipop out of her mouth. "I'm Death," she said with a little giggle. "You were supposed to kick the bucket last night, but I nailed the deer instead of you." She sighed. "Bad aim. Anyway, I'm here to rectify the situation. Time to go bye-bye."
I sat up on the side of the bed and slipped my shoes on. "Well, I guess when you gotta go, you gotta go, but I have to ask. Death as a little girl? That's kinda ... you know ... weird."
She shrugged. "New union rules. I can't go around looking scary anymore. I gotta come across as inoffensive as possible. No more skeletal figures, owls, ravens, banshees. Sometimes, I look like Big Bird from Sesame Street."
She looked wistful. “I did try a big, friendly clown, but most people thought that more evil than the shroud and sickle.”
I nodded as I went to my closet and opened it. "Well, I'll just pack some things here."
"Whoa, there, buddy boy," she said as she came up behind me. "You know the rules. You can't take anything with you."
At that I spun on my heels—I’m pretty fast for an old geezer—and grabbed her by the collar of her jumper, threw her into the closet, slammed the door shut, and blocked it with my dresser drawer.
"Let me out!" Death screamed.
"Sorry. Your mistake and I'm sticking around for awhile longer."
"Let me out!" came the voice a little more frantically. "I'm afraid of the dark!"
"There's a light switch above you. You'll find it."
I have to confess that at this point I felt bad for the Grim Reaper when it started screaming like a ...well, like a little girl.
"Get me out of here or I'll be angry!"
"Oh, and what's the worst you can do to me? Kill me?" I went back to reading my book.
Anyway, I hoped that after Death chilled for a bit in my closet, it might be more open to negotiation.
However, now it’s in there now singing Sesame Street theme songs over and over again in that little girl sing-song voice.
I think the Grim Reaper may have found a way to kill me after all.
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NOTE TO THE READER:
Alan Loewen lives with his wife and three sons in Gettysburg, Pennsylvania along with a Sheltie, a homicidal parrot lovingly dubbed "The Death Chicken," and far too many cats. You can follow the writing misadventures of Alan Loewen by paying him a visit at: