~Special Smashwords Edition~
The Gallery of Worlds
May 2011
A quarterly periodical of Lantern Hollow Press
Copyright © 2011 Lantern Hollow Press
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Table of Contents
Fairytale: On the other Side of the Wall--Muddling through Maglindosh
By Stephanie Thompson
Science Fiction: Learning the Stars
By Rachel Burkholder
Light Fantasy: Prologue to Waverly Hall
By Brian C. Melton
Dark Fantasy: The Music Box Maker
By Stephanie Thompson
Poems:
By Donald T. Williams:
By Melissa Rogers
Serials:
By Melissa Rogers
The Rise of the Neshelim Part One
By Tobias Mastgrave
By Emily Burkholder
Illustrations:
By Jill Johnson
About the Contributors and Lantern Hollow Press
THE GRAVE OF C. S. LEWIS
Holy Trinity Church, Headington Quarry, Oxfordshire
There was a marble slab, the evidence
Of burial, with writing on the stone
Which said, “Men must endure their going hence.”
The mind that had restored my mind to sense
Was there reduced to elemental bone;
There was a marble slab, the evidence.
That well of wisdom and of eloquence
Was now cut back to just one phrase alone,
Which said, “Men must endure their going hence.”
No monument of rich magnificence
Stood fitting one who had so brightly shone;
There was a marble slab. The evidence
That plain things have their power to convince
Was in that simple block with letters strewn
Which said, “Men must endure their going hence.”
The weight of time was focused there, intense
With wrecked Creation’s universal groan:
There was a marble slab, the evidence,
Which said, “Men must endure their going hence.”
Had I not fallen through the wall and ended up in another world, it would have been a day like any other. It began just as it should, after all, with breakfast at six, and me scrambling to make it out the door in time, all the while cramming for an English quiz. The day was busy, just as Tuesdays usually are, and I recall that as I walked to my car following my final class, I breathed a sigh of relief. The drive home was pleasant, with a welcome absence of careless drivers on the road. I might have lingered, perhaps even taken a short detour to the park, but I had a Biology 101 test to study for.
Within minutes of opening the textbook, I was thoroughly confused and frustrated, convinced that the writer of my textbook was harboring a secret pathological hatred of humanity (or at least the part of humanity made up of college students). As I contemplated the gross injustice of forcing a history major to endure a science class in order to graduate, my cell phone abruptly interrupted my thoughts. Welcoming the distraction, I ran out of the study to search for my phone, failed to turn the corner quickly enough, and smacked into the wall. That in itself was nothing particularly out of the ordinary; I am a card-carrying klutz, so it is rather common for me to collide with walls or other stationary objects. What made this collision different was that instead of merely hitting the wall and recoiling in pain, I went right through the wall, as effortlessly as a steak knife slicing through butter.
I landed in a heap at the foot of an extremely tall tree. After carefully examining myself, I was relieved to find that no bones were broken, although I did have a nasty bump on my left elbow and a slight bruise forming on my right shin. I stood up slowly, dusting off my clothes as I did so, and looked around me in astonishment. That I was no longer in my apartment was obvious. I doubted whether I was still in the same state! Somehow, I was now outdoors in a land of rolling hills and many, many trees. It looked vastly different from any place I had ever seen before. I recall thinking to myself that I now knew exactly how Dorothy must have felt when she first arrived in the Land of Oz. I half expected to find a talking scarecrow somewhere near me.
Rubbing my aching elbow, I began to walk around in a state of shock, examining my new surroundings. A series of low, green hills stretched ahead of me as far as the eye could see. The sky above them was a deep, luxurious blue and had a faint sparkle to it. On both sides of me were a myriad of very tall, thick trees with dark green leaves. Behind me were even more trees and some overgrown shrubbery with large gold-colored berries on it. Although where I stood was abundantly wooded, it was remarkably light. It was clear that I was at the edge of a large forest, although the trees were unlike any I had ever seen before. They seemed much taller than normal trees, and their leaves were of an unusual, almost octagonal shape, with thin little ridges . Their bark was a medium brown, and very smooth and shiny, almost as though it had been polished. I couldn’t by any stretch of the imagination fathom how I came to be where I now was, nor had I any idea of how to get back to my apartment.
“How can you find your way home from somewhere when you don’t even know where that somewhere is?” I murmured. The whole situation was not only decidedly unusual, but downright ludicrous. How had I gone through the wall, and how did I wind up in this place, wherever it was? I was on the verge of panic when a logical idea occurred to me and calmed me down.
“I must have hit my head really hard on the wall and knocked myself unconscious. Now I’m dreaming an odd dream from which I’ll awaken soon,” I reassured myself. The idea made sense, and successfully dispelled the fear that had been clutching at me only a moment ago. It was an interesting dream, and not nearly as odd as some of the dreams I’d had in the past. For one thing, no dancing chipmunks! In a little while I would wake up on the floor of my apartment with a really bad headache, and then I would take some Tylenol and lie down on my bed for a spell. My spirits lifted as calming logic poured over me like gentle balm. Everything was okay; it was only a dream brought on by a mild concussion. I’d tell my friends about it later and we’d all have a good laugh at my klutziness.
This explanation, unfortunately, was ruined by a little more logic. If this was a dream, then why was I able to feel pain? Furthermore, how was it that I could actually smell the pungent aroma of the trees surrounding me? A tiny drop of water fell on my head from one of the trees. How could I feel something like a drop of cool water, if this was only a dream? Too many senses were at work here, and it occurred to me that maybe this wasn’t a dream after all. I picked a leaf off of one of the trees and put it in my mouth to see if my sense of taste was working. To my surprise, the leaf had a pleasant mint flavor and was almost like lettuce in texture. No, if I could taste the leaf, smell the trees, and feel pain and water, then this could not be a dream. I started to get a stomach ache and a headache. Feeling a little dizzy, I sat down on a moss-covered rock and continued to ponder the situation.
My thoughts were interrupted by the sound of approaching horses’ hooves. I looked up in time to see four dashing men in emerald Robin Hood-style clothing riding on well-groomed red horses. Having spotted me, the riders rode up to me and dismounted. The first of the four men, a tall, muscular man with dark brown hair and a short beard, bowed to me and spoke.
“Is anything the matter, fair damsel? If so, we, the Morning Riders of His Glorious Majesty King Philip, are at your service.”
“Well, I would appreciate it very much if you could tell me where I am. I seem to have wound up a long ways from home,” I responded hesitantly. Obviously, telling them how this happened was out of the question, since I myself was still unsure.
“You are in the Kingdom of Maglindosh, m’lady,” the man replied grandly. “You have indeed traveled an immense distance if you are unfamiliar with this great kingdom. From whence come you?”
“I’m from Virginia,” I replied. Seeing the confusion on the faces of the four riders convinced me that I was nowhere even remotely close to there now. In fact, I highly doubted that I was even in the same world!
“We are unfamiliar with that kingdom,” the second of the riders spoke up. He was a little smaller than the first rider was, and had shoulder-length blond hair that had been pulled back, revealing a kindly face.
“How did you come to arrive here?” The third rider inquired, his grey-green eyes brimming with curiosity.
Aware that I was most likely now in a society where women did not behave quite as they do in the United States and also aware that the true version of my story would sound like lunacy and in all probability get me into trouble, I thought carefully for a moment before responding. How fortunate that I had chosen to wear a skirt that day! Most likely not the right style for where I was, but at least I didn’t have to try to explain slacks to them. Still, I realized that with my particular hair style and strange (to them) clothing, I would need a good story. I briefly flirted with the idea of telling them that I was a female court jester, but then rejected that idea in favor of what seemed a better one.
“I believe that someone put something in my beverage at dinner last night, kidnapped me, and then left me here. I don’t remember anything about the journey here, so I must have been in a very deep sleep.” Seeing how my story impressed the men, and inspired by an imagination that had never failed me yet, I quickly went on. “It is imperative that I find a way back to my kingdom, as I must warn my king of an evil plot that I overheard yesterday. It was because of my overhearing the plot that I was kidnapped and brought here. If I don’t warn my king in time, his life and the fate of the entire kingdom will be in grave danger.” Modern men may have had me committed to an institution for such a wild story, but the four riders not only believed it wholeheartedly, they seemed thoroughly awed by my apparent importance and bravery. Mentally I patted myself on the back for my quick thinking.
“You are undoubtedly a courageous young woman,” the first rider commended me in his deep, commanding voice. “And the deed you seek to perform is a mighty one, made all the more impressive by the fact that it is done by a mere woman. The Morning Riders of His Glorious Majesty King Philip shall do all that we can to aid you in your bold quest.”
“Thank you very much sir,” I responded, doing my best to appear very gentile. The four riders bowed in response. Were they really bowing to me, a “mere woman”? Men had occasionally opened doors for me in the past, but never had such reverence been shown me. I straightened up a bit, and adopted a more regal expression.
“With your permission m’lady, we will escort you to the castle, where His Glorious Majesty King Philip, in his ever-present benevolence, will certainly do all in his power to assist you and to provide for your comfort while you are yet among us,” the second rider announced. I nodded my acquiescence.
“My name is Sir William, and it would be an honor to have you share my horse,” the fourth rider offered amiably. He was a muscular man of medium height, with kind amber eyes and wind-tousled coffee-colored hair. It was really too bad this wasn’t a dream; he would have been excellent subject matter for several nights of happy slumbers.
“That’s very kind of you,” I thanked him, as he promptly helped me up. Sir William appeared exceedingly pleased to have a female companion with him on his horse. I suppose it must have been a rather rare occurrence for him. Come to think of it, being on a horse with a strange man was a new experience for me!
After riding for a lengthy period of time, we came upon a colossal castle built of the whitest stone I had ever seen. The resplendent sunlight beaming down on the castle reflected off the stone in such manner that it gave the castle a slight halo around it. Encircling the castle was a wide greenish-blue moat. Something black with a long spiny tail was lazily swimming in the moat (I later learned that it was a small sea monster that dined on fresh steak every day and enjoyed medium rare criminals whenever one was given the death penalty—after they had first been beheaded). A wooden drawbridge spanned the distance across the moat, and we quickly crossed it and entered into the outer courtyard of the castle. Twelve powerful-looking knights in full armor stood guard at the gate to the inner courtyard; they bowed majestically to us as we passed through.
After we dismounted, the four riders led me into the castle, where the high, vaulted ceilings and the enormity of the architecture made me feel miniscule. To say I was nervous would be a grave understatement. Having seen a well-maintained guillotine as we were riding, I was now positively terrified. What would happen if the king didn’t believe my crazy story? I tried to remember all that I knew about the medieval times, but all that came to mind were a few nonsensical movies I had seen recently. This ignorance of the time period I appeared to be in made my situation all the more uncomfortable. What if I said or did the wrong thing and they got the idea that I was a witch? I did remember hearing that medieval people were very superstitious. I earnestly hoped that they didn’t burn or hang witches.
“Announcing His Glorious Majesty King Philip, the brave and benevolent ruler of the magnificent Kingdom of Maglindosh,” proclaimed a tall, wiry man with an annoying, nasally voice. “Let all those present bow in reverence to our sovereign monarch.”
“Giuseppe, you’re overdoing it again,” admonished a generously proportioned man with crinkly blue eyes, light grey hair, and a small grey and chestnut-colored beard. On his head he wore an enormous crown so covered in gigantic sapphires, rubies, and emeralds that the shine from it painted rainbows on the walls around us. The dazzling crown, coupled with his thick scarlet robe, trimmed in gold and blue, left little doubt that this man was the king. Or rather, His Glorious Majesty King Philip. I felt my legs begin to quiver. Sir William seemed to sense my trembling and offered me a reassuring smile.
“Haven’t I told you time and time again not to command people to bow?” His Glorious Majesty King Philip continued to address Giuseppe. “It looks silly, and sometimes it causes my advisors’ toupees to fall off. Have you any idea how difficult it is to keep a regal expression on your face when you are standing in front of what appears to be a row of gleaming, polished melons? Really Giuseppe, you must take these things into account before you announce me. And furthermore, my royal title is long enough without adding ‘the brave and benevolent ruler of the magnificent Kingdom of Maglindosh’ to it.”
“But the queen—” began Giuseppe.
“I know, I know, the queen thinks it sounds more impressive,” interrupted His Glorious Majesty King Philip. “Well she’s not here right now, so let’s drop the added formality.”
“Yes, Your Majesty,” Giuseppe replied humbly, with a perturbed look on his thin, angular face.
“Now that we’ve settled all that,” the king went on, “I wish to speak with the Morning Riders. Have they returned from their journey?”
“Yes we have, Your Majesty,” responded the first rider, removing his cap and beginning to bow, then straightening up quickly when he saw the emerging look of reproof on the king’s face.
“Ah, very good, Sir Cedric. I am pleased with your efficiency. What news have you brought me?”
“Only this, Sire. The people are still greatly troubled by the dragon. Last week two more homes were burned to the ground, and another cow is reported missing. The people are demanding that something be done, or they will move to another kingdom.”
“Blast!” Shouted the king. “Will that wretched creature of darkness never cease his destruction?! A few scorched trees and an occasional missing cat or lawyer I can forgive, but this? Good heavens, if the people flee, who will I have to rule over? And more importantly, who will pay the taxes?” He paused for breath, then went on. “Whatever happened to that last knight we sent after him? The one who came so highly recommended?”
“Burned to a crisp, just as the others before him, Sire,” Sir Cedric replied gravely. “Which reminds me, his widow is threatening to sue me for damages, since I was the one who employed him. What should I do about it?”
“Nothing!” His Glorious Majesty King Philip exclaimed. “She has no grounds. He signed a waiver when he was hired. All knights do.”
“Thank you, your majesty,” Sir Cedric went on. “That’s a considerable relief to me.”
“Any other news?” The king inquired.
“No Sire,” Sir Cedric answered. Sir William stepped forward and tapped him on the shoulder.
“What about the young lady?” he whispered, nodding his head in my direction.
“Oh yes, I nearly forgot.” Sir Cedric turned back to the king. “Your majesty, we have brought a young woman to see you. We found her in the Dorant Forrest. She bears an important message for her king and seeks your assistance to return to her country.”
“Step forward, young woman,” the king commanded. “What is this message that you have for your king?”
“Well, um, last night I was kidnapped and somehow brought here after I overheard a plot concerning the murder of my king. I was rather hoping that you could help me to return so that I can warn him.” My mouth was so dry that my voice came out sounding very odd. My knees were shaking so badly that I had trouble standing. Sweat dripped from my palms. Oh please don’t let them burn me at the stake or chop off my head or do anything else that hurts really bad! I prayed silently.
A grave silence followed my assertion. I began to think up some suitable final words. Maybe another frantic prayer would be in order . . .
“You are a most courageous young woman,” the king interrupted my thoughts. “In our land, women are not so bold. Tell me, in your land, are you considered brave?”
“Well, I guess so. People have called me fearless, reckless, and exceedingly impulsive before. Of the three, I’d say exceedingly impulsive describes me the best. I tend to rush into things without thinking through the consequences first. Since I don’t take the time to be afraid, I guess you could call me brave.” Realizing that I was now babbling, I shut my mouth and looked earnestly at the king, attempting to look audacious, but still respectful as I did so.
The king exchanged an apparently communicative glance with Giuseppe, nodded, and spoke again.
“Since you have such courage, perhaps you may succeed where numerous others have failed. Young woman, I make you a proposition. The Kingdom of Maglindosh is troubled by a ferocious, fire-breathing dragon who scorches people and property each day. The citizens are terrified and some have begun to flee the kingdom. If you can rid us of this dragon, I shall not only assist you in returning to your land to warn your king, I shall also grant you the hand in marriage of my only son, the noble Prince Gilbert.”
So, I wasn’t to burn to death on a stake, lose my head on a guillotine, or even rot in a torture chamber. No, I was to be cooked and consumed by a dragon! The day just kept getting worse. Oh why did I have to run through that stupid wall?! Noticing at last the king’s eyes upon me, I quickly made my answer.
“I humbly accept your proposition, Your Majesty.” What was I saying?!
“Very good,” the King responded. He turned to the Morning Riders. “Sir Cedric! See to it that the young woman is fed and suitably armed for her task.” Turning back to me, he offered a smile and the words, “good luck,” before returning to his chambers. His Glorious Majesty King Philip had spoken.
After dining on what I believed to be pheasant, I was taken into a small room where a priest of some sort sprinkled a foul-smelling holy concoction on me. Then the Morning Riders presented me with a suit of armor, a shield, and a sword. The armor had obviously been built for a large man, so I opted against wearing it, much to the amazement and admiration of the Morning Riders. The shield and sword were heavy, but still somewhat maneuverable. Feeling rather like David about to face Goliath, only not half so sure of myself, I mounted my horse and headed for the dragon’s cave. The Morning Riders escorted me partway, then handed me a crudely drawn map and left. From here on, the horse and I were on our own. Looking at the expression on the animal’s face, I had a feeling he would not be much of an ally.
After an hour’s journey and two wrong turns, I finally reached the dragon’s lair. As soon as I dismounted, the horse proved my prior suspicions correct by bolting away. To make matters worse, my shield and sword were still attached to him. Things did not look good. I looked through my pockets hoping to find something that could serve as a weapon. The best I could come up with was a toothpick. Facing a ferocious fire-breathing dragon with nothing but a toothpick to defend myself with was not an appealing prospect. Maybe I could just meander away from the cave without attracting the dragon’s notice…
A puff of smoke wafting from the entrance of the cave captured my attention. It appeared that my adversary the dragon was home. Since I highly doubted that I could outrun him, I gave up the idea of fleeing. Wondering whether he liked his humans rare, medium, or well done, I approached the entrance of the cave.
“Excuse me,” I called, my voice at least an octave higher than usual. I cleared my throat. “Excuse me, Mister Dragon, but could you please come out for a minute?”
“RRROOAAARRR!!!!!!! WHO DARES DISTURB MY SLUMBER?” A dreadful voice bellowed.
“Uhh, me. That is—I. I mean . . . my name is Lindee. And if you’re busy, perhaps I could come back tomorrow?”
“What do you want?” he demanded tersely.
“I was just wondering if maybe you could tell me why you keep cooking the people of the Kingdom of Maglindosh, and if perhaps together we could peaceably reach an alternative activity for you to engage in each day?”
The dragon poked his olive green snout out of the cave. Surprisingly, although his voice was horrifying, the dragon’s appearance was not one that inspired terror. In fact, he reminded me quite a bit of a large, green Colin Firth.
“A peaceable solution? Didn’t you come to fight me?” He asked, his eyes wide with confusion and, perhaps, a slight glimmer of disappointment.
“No, sir. I’m a woman, and women generally prefer to talk things out rather than fight them out.”
“That’s no good!” The dragon exclaimed, pounding his fist on the ground so hard that it made a nearby tree fall over. “I can’t kill anyone in cold blood, and it’s against my principles to roast a woman.”
“Well, could we try talking then?” I requested, shedding my previous cowardice. “Why do you keep cooking people, and how is it not in cold blood?”
“It is not in cold blood, because they are either seeking to kill me or they are annoying me by trespassing on my property. If people would just stay away from my cave and off my hill, I wouldn’t have to cook them.”
“But didn’t you start the whole mess by burning people’s properties?” I inquired gently.
“I couldn’t help that,” the dragon sniffed. “They were growing wheat and I have a wheat allergy. It makes me sneeze, and when I sneeze, naturally, fire comes out. Once or twice a human got in the way and I scorched them as well. That simply wasn’t my fault. Oh, and then one time when I was feeling miserable because of my loneliness, I blew my nose too hard and accidentally burned down a school. It wasn’t in session though!”
I began to feel compassion for this enormous blundering beast. All that trouble just because of allergies and loneliness! I wondered if somehow I could help him.
“If you’re lonely, why don’t you invite me in? We could have a long talk,” I suggested.
“Could we?” The dragon asked eagerly.
“Certainly. To begin with, let’s properly introduce ourselves. My name is Lindee Carson and I come from the land — er, kingdom, that is — of Virginia.” I figured I ought to stick to the same story I’d already concocted. After all, the dragon could be a blabbermouth for all I knew.
“My name is Humphrey.” The dragon offered. “And do come in. Tell me, do you prefer black tea or chamomile tea?”
“Black tea will do nicely,” I answered politely.
“One lump or two?”
“Two, please.”
“Cream?”
“No, thank you.”
“Yes, that would be lovely.”
After a charming visit, we got down to business. I promised that the king would send over a large supply of antihistamines each week. In exchange, Humphrey promised to sneeze only towards the north, where there was nothing but a large, impenetrable forest. As to the matter of Humphrey’s loneliness, I inquired as to whether or not he knew of any other dragons that he could befriend.
“Well,” Humphrey began haltingly, “actually, we dragons are not indigenous to this area. Dragons are only native to the countries of Glemaria, Lyth, and Glurmenistein. I moved here from Glemaria with my brother Waldo seventeen years ago, as there was a famine in our land at the time. Waldo was a restless sort and moved on without me just a few years after we arrived. He never bothers to write.” Humphrey sniffled, and I backed away, concerned that he might sneeze.
“So you’re the only dragon in this country?” Empathetically, I bravely stepped forward again and patted Humphrey’s enormous side. I understood how it felt to be lonely.
“No, there is another.” Humphrey’s eyes glazed over slightly, and his voice took on a dreamlike quality. “The most luscious and engaging of females lives about fifteen miles from here. Sometimes I sit on top of my hill and watch her. She’s positively enchanting.”
“Why haven’t you been visiting with her then?” I asked, feeling puzzled.
“Because we’ve never been properly introduced. Propriety must always be observed, even when it comes with personal sacrifice.”
“Oh Humphrey!” I exclaimed in exasperation. “Let propriety be hanged! Get on your feet and let me up on your back. We’re going to fly over there this minute and meet her properly.”
“But I’m…”
“No nonsense, Humphrey!”
“Yes, ma’am,” he agreed submissively.
There were a few bumpy moments during the flight, but somehow I managed not to fall off Humphrey’s back as we glided over two small villages and a medium-sized lake. Humphrey made excellent time; in fact, if FAA regulations were not so stringent, I am certain that dragons would eventually prove much more efficient that present-day airplanes. I was thinking of this as we landed in a thick field of blue and yellow poppies. Ahead of us was a mountain with a large cave in it. Outside of the cave hung a wind chime, which tinkled merrily in the breeze.
After having already faced not only my biology instructor, but also several knights, a king, and a ferocious, fire-breathing dragon that day, facing a second dragon did not seem half so frightening as it would have otherwise seemed. Humphrey stood back timidly as I marched up to the mouth of the cave and called out politely to its occupant.
“Excuse me, Miss Dragon, but if it’s not too much trouble, I would like to speak with you.”
The only reply was a thin stream of smoke. I cleared my throat and called again.
“Miss Dragon? Could I please speak to you for a moment? I promise it won’t be long.”
This time my efforts were rewarded by a crash and the sound of gigantic footsteps echoing through the inner depths of the cave. My previous bravery diminished slightly. At last, a mint green head emerged from out of the cave. Dark blue eyes with long black lashes regarded me suspiciously for a moment before the dragon spoke.
“You’re not selling anything, are you? I bake anyone who tries to sell me anything,” the dragon informed me.
“Oh no, believe me, I haven’t anything to sell you,” I quickly assured her. “I just wanted to introduce you to a friend of mine who is an avid admirer of yours.”
“An admirer?” The dragon asked, fluttering her eyelashes slightly.
“Yes, and he would give anything to be introduced to you. May I have your name please?”
“I’m Lorna Mae,” she answered sweetly, coming fully out of the cave now. She was a very curvy dragon who sashayed her voluptuous hips as she walked. “Where’s the gent?”
“Come here, Humphrey,” I ordered. Obediently he stepped forward.
“Lorna Mae, I’d like you to meet Humphrey. Humphrey, this is Lorna Mae.” I stood back and allowed the dragons to appraise one another. Humphrey had a love-sick puppy look on his face and Lorna looked both flirty and interested.
“Hiya, sugar. What’s been keeping you out of my neck of the woods? Why haven’t you come up to see me before?” Lorna Mae drawled in a sweet-as-honey voice. Humphrey just stared back vacantly in reply.
“Oh, so you’re the strong silent type. I like that in a dragon. It’ll be a fun challenge drawing you out of your shell. Say, sweet-cakes, you’re not so bad looking. I like that in a dragon, too.” Lorna Mae continued.
“You’re beautiful!” Humphrey managed to blurt out.
Feeling like a third wheel, I wisely decided to leave the two dragons alone for awhile and took a stroll down to the lake, where I waded for about an hour. Then, judging this to be long enough for a first meeting, I walked back to Lorna Mae’s cave, just in time to find her and Humphrey locked in a passionate embrace. My goodness, they moved fast! I coughed loudly to get their attention.
“Ahem, Humphrey, if you don’t mind, I really need to be getting back to the castle now. His Glorious Majesty King Philip will think I’ve been consumed if I don’t get back soon. Besides, if we don’t leave now, I may not be able to get home in time for my biology test, and then my GPA will crumble.”
“Okay,” Humphrey replied slowly. He gazed lovingly at the face of Lorna Mae. “Until next time, my angel.”
“See you tomorrow, Lover-doll,” she responded cheerily. She turned to address me. “You know, I never had much use for humans, beyond an occasional snack. But honey, you’re okay. I promise never to eat you or anyone important to you. And if you ever need anything, well you come right here to me and I’ll take care of it for you.”
I thanked Lorna Mae, turned away discretely as she and Humphrey said another farewell (dragons kiss very loudly, by the way), and then climbed back onto Humphrey’s back. The flight to the castle was not quite as turbulent as the flight to Lorna Mae’s cave had been, for which I was grateful. There appeared to be a considerable time difference between my home and Maglindosh. It had been early evening back home when I fell through the wall, and several hours had passed since then, yet the sun was only just beginning to set as we were arriving at the castle. I looked at my wrist to check what time it was on my watch, but discovered to my horror that I had somehow lost it during my time in Maglindosh. Now there was no way of telling just how much time had passed. I was increasingly concerned about whether or not I would be home in time for my test, but I hid my concern from Humphrey.
After we arrived at the castle, Humphrey thanked me copiously for my kindness to him and made me the same promise and offer that Lorna Mae had made. I gave him a hug around his snout and said a teary goodbye before he flew away. I wished that I could stay a few days longer and spend more time with Humphrey and Lorna Mae, but I knew that I couldn’t afford to risk missing that biology test. I suspected that my teacher would not be merciful if I told him that I had missed a test in order to visit with two ferocious, fire-breathing dragons.
Within an hour of my arrival, the news had spread to the entire kingdom that the dragon had agreed to cease his destruction. I explained his expectations thoroughly, and everyone agreed to abide by them. The royal pharmacists set to work creating an antihistamine strong enough for a dragon (I was delighted to see that they were much further along in pharmacology than my own world had been in the age of castles), resulting in yellow pills the size of tractor tires, which Humphrey was to take by mouth every morning. He didn’t care for the flavor, but that problem was quickly solved by adding copious amounts of honey to the mixture. Soon, the Kingdom of Maglindosh was running smoothly, and Humphrey’s allergies and loneliness were no longer a problem.
Although the king had promised to aid me in returning to my land, he was not able to carry out this promise immediately, which is why I wound up staying in Maglindosh for an extra two days after my meeting with Humphrey. During that time, while the antihistamines were being created and the people of Maglindosh were moving themselves into homes a respectful distance from Humphrey’s cave, I was treated like royalty. His Glorious Majesty King Philip saw to it that I was given the finest guest suite in the castle, and a delicious breakfast was served to me in bed each morning. The day before I was to leave, Sir William personally escorted me to Humphrey’s cave for lunch, at which time Humphrey and Lorna Mae announced to us their engagement. Again I marveled at how quickly dragons moved. Sir William and I congratulated them genially and gave them our best wishes for the future.
That evening, I was summoned to a private room in the castle. Upon arriving there, King Philip introduced me to his wife, Her Illustrious Majesty Queen Esmeralda, and his son, the Noble Prince Gilbert, who had just returned from a weeklong visit with distant relations. The queen was a large, buxom woman with surprisingly red hair (which I am positive she had touched up considerably) and dark flashing eyes. She had crimson lips that occasionally curled into a condescending smile when she spoke, and wore a gown of lavender satin that reached the floor. She seldom addressed anyone directly, preferring instead to speak through Giuseppe, who appeared to be a permanent fixture in the room.
My first glimpse of the Noble Prince Gilbert took my breath away. His shoulders were broad and powerful and he had a purposeful, confident air about him as he strode over to be introduced to me. His dark russet-colored hair lay in thick waves that perfectly flattered his well-structured face. His eyes were like two deep spoonfuls of dark chocolate. The resemblance to Cary Grant was uncanny. After staring at him in somewhat of a daze, I must confess that I began to entertain thoughts of taking the king up on his offer of Prince Gilbert for my husband. The minute Prince Gilbert opened his mouth, I not only dismissed these thoughts, but even began to contemplate offering him to Lorna Mae as a bedtime snack.
“Mother, I believe I feel a slight draft in this room,” Prince Gilbert whined to the queen in a high-pitched voice that comically contradicted his masterful stature.
“Giuseppe!” Snapped Queen Esmeralda. “How dare you allow a draft of cold air into a room with the prince present! You know how fragile the dear boy’s health is; get rid of that draft immediately.”
“Yes, Your Highness, right away,” Giuseppe reassured her, bowing as he did so. King Philip rolled his eyes, then straightened up immediately when he felt his wife’s piercing gaze upon him.
“And you, Philip! Imagine coming into a room with your crown off-center. Have you no sense of decorum? Really, this kingdom must run positively wild whenever I’m not here to keep things in order!”
“I’m sorry, dear,” the king replied shamefacedly, fixing his crown as he spoke.
“You there! What is your purpose here?” The queen demanded, now acknowledging my presence.
“Don’t you remember dear? This is the young woman who ended our dragon troubles,” King Philip explained to her. “She has shown remarkable courage and ingenuity, and is to be rewarded with our son’s hand in marriage, and the assistance of our most capable wizard in returning to her land, where she shall perform yet another noble deed in warning her king of looming danger.”
“What’s your background?” The queen demanded of me. “What lineage have you to make you worthy to be the wife of my son, the Noble Prince Gilbert?”