My All
Published by Susan Hattingh at Smashwords
Copyright 2011 Susan Hattingh
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
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Thank You
Thank you to my son, my husband and Lorna Gibson, without whose presence, love and support, I would have not followed my dreams. Last but not least, thank you, to God, for giving me all the love I have in my life.
Table of Contents
My
All
Extremes
Moments
Inside
Rainbow
A
Heartbeat
Shattered
Pieces
Hidden
Secrets
Through
my Eyes
Broken
Careful
Darkness
I
Lied
Labour
of Love
One
My
Inspiration
Dedicated
to An Angel
Lover
of My Soul
You
Unconditional
Love
Eternally
Together Forever Apart
Remembering
Just
a Kiss
Escape
One
Day
MY ALL
As I tread the calm waters of despair,
I wonder who or what has lead me there….
I cling to the hope, that everything will be alright,
I know from past experience, I should give up the fight.
The fight for love, understanding, peace,
A magical place…
They say I should smile when I’m hurt,
It’s hard to smile when you’ve been burnt….
Nobody cares how I’m feeling,
They don’t care unless you’re bleeding,
Nobody understands that I’ve had enough!
That’s life, it’s tough!
I feel alone, misunderstood…
I would disappear… if I could…
I think I’m losing it,
Life seams meaningless…
Maybe it’s the world that’s twisted?
The meaning of life… I think I’ve missed it...
I deserve more…
More than a closed door,
A little more than a turned cheek,
More, than their love so weak!
I need to know that I mean more than a tear!
To know, that I need not fear…
**********
EXTREMES
Round and round they go…
Colors changing, every minute or so,
Safety… danger…
Everything in between…
Love and hate…
From one extreme to the next,
Hot… cold…
Misunderstanding or lies?
Not randomly… planned,
Precisely, every detail!
Not intentionally,
Not maliciously…
How does it end?
How do I end it?
Running in the wrong direction…
At the wrong time…
I always fulfill the inevitable…
Stop the wheel I want to get off!
I need to take control!
To find a place…
A place of safety…
A place of freedom,
From the demons in my mind,
The emptiness in my soul…
**********
MOMENTS
Today the sun shines, just as brightly as yesterday,
The colors of my memories illuminated by imagination…
Will today be, a colorful moment?
Or will it fade away, as the sunset kisses the earth…
A thousand tears fall…
The ground they kiss makes not a sound,
But drinks it up greedily,
My love for you eternal!
My heart empty, my mind full,
All day long, I dream,
I grieve for yesterday…
The promise of tomorrow, yet to come…
As each moment passes,
I give it a beautiful color,
I magical tune,
And I remember… you!
Yesterday is only a picture in my mind,
Only as beautiful as it was painted,
Tomorrow can be anything I desire,
Yet nothing is as beautiful, as the moment…
**********
INSIDE
Now and then, it sneaks up on me…
Reality, the disconcerting stare,
The anger in your voice,
To know I do not have a choice…
I live in a world, so different from your own…
Touched by nothing,
Happiness, only a thought away,
You take each day, by day…
I’ve travelled to many different worlds,
Beauty, only a breath away,
But it’s here I choose to stay!
Somewhere in between, the lines, the smiles…
The many voices become one,
Somewhere, deep inside…
Where the truth abides,
Why do we pretend, to what end?
**********
RAINBOW
Can anyone, ever know...?
All that is you...
Can they love…?
All that is true...
Do you see, the colors of love?
How many times, do you look past a beautiful dove?
How many things, would you turn against me?
How many times, would you provoke me?
I want to show you a rainbow,
After the storm has lifted…
Can you see its beauty?
Or, do the colors seam a mess…
Do you still feel, the chill in the air?
Do you savor, the freshness of a new stare?
I painted a storms ending,
I drew in on my heart…
I etched a dream in the ice,
I carved my way to the light…
Though it seems, you will never see,
I really hope, you can still love me…