Sell It With Humor ™
America’s Cutting Edge Selling Tool
By Burt Teplitzky
From the Creator of the World Famous IMPROV Comedy Club’s Corporate Humor Training Division and the licensee of Florida’s Famous IMPROV Comedy Traffic Schools
Published by Burt Teplitzky at Smashwords
Copyright (C) 2011 Burt Teplitzky
All rights reserved
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
This book is available in print at most online retailers.
Published in the United States by Funway Publishing, a division of Funway Entertainment, Inc.
Funway Publishing is a trademark of
Funway Entertainment, Inc.
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-publication Data
Teplitzky, Burt
Sell it with humor: America’s cutting edge selling tool/Burt Teplitzky.-1st ed.
ISBN 978-0-9827231-1-1
1. Teplitzky, Burt
Printed in the United States of America
Funway Publishing
Contact: (310) 926-5549
Website: www.FunwayPublishing.com and www.sellitwithhumor.com
FIRST EDITION
DEDICATION
Book design by Burt Teplitzky
Cover design by Gene Hamm
For my daughter,
Talia,
You are my inspiration for this
book. Everything I do, I do because of you. I wish you only the best.
Also, you have published two books and I need to catch up with you.
For my nieces and nephew,
Hannah, Emma and Jacob,
You all
have made me laugh when my daughter couldn’t be with me. I thank
you for that. I truly hope you each will find your own calling and
love what you do—whatever it is.
For my family,
Dad, Mom, Iris and Caryl,
Thank all of you
for being there for me. I only hope I have contributed to your lives
as much as you have contributed to mine. Well, hopefully you’ve
contributed a little more.
To all of you, please remember to laugh every day. Okay, enough with the eulogy-sounding stuff! Let’s start laughing, learning…and selling!
FOREWORD (BEATS GOING BACKWARD)
“Once you get people laughing, they’re listening and you
can
tell them almost anything.” --Herb Gardner
Table of Contents
CHAPTER
1
PRESENTING WITH
HUMOR (THE BASICS)
(Why
should I read this book?)
CHAPTER
2
PUNCH/POINT/BENEFIT™
FORMULA
(We’re not
talking baby formula here.)
CHAPTER
3
HOW TO TELL A JOKE
(It’s not as easy as it
looks on TV, is it?)
CHAPTER
4
RAPPORT AND ICE
BREAKERS
(They will beg
to be your new best friend.)
CHAPTER
5
ORGANIZE YOUR
PRESENTATION
(Even if you
can’t organize your room.)
CHAPTER
6
A SAMPLE
PRESENTATION FROM BURT
(I’ll
try one of each, please.)
CHAPTER
7
ONE-ON-ONE
PRESENTING: ONE MAY BE THE LONELIEST NUMBER BUT….
(It
can also be the richest.)
CHAPTER
9
ONE-ON-ONE
PRESENTING: PHONE-Y SELLING
(Selling
by phone.)
CHAPTER
10
GROUP PRESENTING:
INTEGRATING SELLING WITH HUMOR
(A
most valuable chapter.)
CHAPTER
11
GROUP PRESENTING:
THE BENEFITS OF HUMOR
(I
like the way you think!)
CHAPTER
12
GROUP PRESENTING:
DOS AND DON’TS
(Learn
from the master of past mistakes.)
CHAPTER
13
WHAT IF THEY DON’T
LAUGH, OR BUY?
(Ve have
vays of making you laugh...ha-ha.)
CHAPTER
14
SHOW ME THE HUMOR
GEMS
(No pawning the
gems, please.)
CHAPTER
15
OBJECTIONS YOU WILL
ENCOUNTER
(I’m not
going to tell you no again.)
CHAPTER
16
HUMOR GEMS FOR
OVERCOMING OBJECTIONS
(Laugh
your way to the credit union.)
CHAPTER
20
SEMINARS AND HUMOR
BUSINESSES: STARTING YOUR OWN
(Open
for funny business.)
CHAPTER
21
Q & A
(Burt
talking to himself again.)
CHAPTER
22
LIVING WITH HUMOR
(It’s an infection.)
LAST
WORDS
(In
the words of my ex, “When are you going to leave?!”)
“We were worried that Burt wouldn’t be able to make it tonight. But, fortunately, due to a hole in the prosecution’s case…”
Initially, I was going to call this book How To Be Successful Even If You Look Like Me, then I realized that would be cruel to all of those who do look like me (you saw the picture)! I’m a true hum-or-itarian (right), so instead, I called it Sell It With Humor™.
If you’ve read the inside jacket cover, you probably know that I am an author, keynote speaker, creator of the World Famous IMPROV Comedy Club’s Corporate Humor training Division, and was the top licensee for Florida’s IMPROV Comedy Traffic Schools. No, we didn’t teach people to drive funny. More on that later.
Use Humor To Make Something Positive Happen.
This is more than a book on selling with humor. It’s a business book: a book on using humor as a motivational tool, using humor in business, and using humor to lighten up your life. You will even learn how to start your own humor business!
However, my main goal in this book is to make money for you by convincing you to use humor as your selling and closing tool in giving one-on-one and group sales presentations or seminars. When you make these money-making presentations, I want you to be charming and funny about it so that you will make more sales. Your audience will benefit. It’s not all about you, you know.
Think about it. The most common reason that people go to comedy clubs is because people have a need to laugh. We all do from time to time, right? If you think about your favorite teachers, managers, comedians, lecturers or salespeople, they are the people that made you laugh the most. In fact, you probably remember some of the jokes from years ago that you heard from your teachers but do not remember the class material. That’s why I created this book and system. By associating the humor to the material you want to get across, listeners will remember the joke (if it’s funny) and they will also remember the point by remembering the punch line.
This book is for sales professionals, CEOs, executives, teachers, training managers, public speakers and people with jobs. It’s also for anyone who makes presentations and wants to use humor to make something positive happen. Whether it’s closing a sale, telling your shareholders they all need to find new jobs (always fun) or getting a point across, this book will help. Later, you’ll even learn how to put off bill collectors and how to be late or absent for work. Try finding that information in a sales book. (See, I’m here for you.)
Why is humor so important? Glad you asked, Burt! Yes, I do question myself often. Humor can improve your career, income, relationships and you might even get your own sitcom! Really. The use of humor will help your listener(s) remember important information.
Research shows that after listening to a seminar speaker or a training session, within 48 hours only 70% of the material is remembered, and after one week only 20% of the material is remembered!
So, it makes sense that if people are only going to remember 20% of a presentation, we want them to remember the 20% that matters most. By learning and using the techniques in this book, people will be able to remember the important points in your presentation.
This matters to you if you are giving a sales presentation, training someone or even having an important conversation. By attaching humor to all of the important messages and humorizing your valued content (the meat of your presentation) with “humor gems” (formerly known as jokes rewritten to make you money-that’s why I refer to them as gems) more valuable than a joke, your listener(s) will better remember your point and act on what they’ve heard. The best thing is that you are in control and you will choose what people will remember. Powerful stuff!
Ready to take over the world? (Someone once tried that. If I remember correctly, it didn’t go so well.) The idea is relatively simple. By having your listener(s) remember the punch line, they are more likely to retain the information and therefore use it when they need it. The system I developed through years of trial and error (having comedy shows and money thrown at me) is referred to as the Punch/Point/Benefit™ system, and you’ll learn how to use it and see examples in the following chapters.
In this book you will learn to use humor to your selling advantage regardless of whether you are presenting to individuals or to groups. But also in this book, if you are only presenting one-on-one, you will be encouraged to change to group selling instead. Presenting to groups is more fun, and you will sell and earn more.
This is a special sales book teaching you to use humor as a selling tool. In order for the process to work for you, I will cover some of the more basic elements of the selling process such as rapport building, organizing the presentation, and closing the sale. If you want to learn more about the selling process, there are numerous books you can refer to. These books will go into much more detail about the selling process than I do. But, are they funny?
After reading this book you will definitely be a more humorous presenter, and a more successful salesperson. If not, you will at least be more popular at parties---and not just at Tupperware parties.
By the way, you will find that I repeat concepts often. I do this for retention purposes. Because I repeat important concepts often, some people feel I have ADD. Not true. Actually, I suffer from DDA, get it?
My friends, my fellow funny comrades, let’s proceed and make ‘em smile while they buy. Remember, friends don’t let friends bore people while presenting. I won’t let this happen to you. Are you with me?
Affectionately (but only as a friend),
Burt Teplitzky
Your CEO of Comedy™
PRESENTING WITH HUMOR (THE BASICS)
(Why
should I read this book?)
“A classic is something everyone wants to have but no one wants
to read.”
-- Mark Twain
I had to read this book, I wrote it. But you? Here is something you should know. This is a humor book, not a joke book. The material you will read will make people laugh in almost any group setting, except in a comedy club. When you read the humor gems in the book (more on this soon), you will find them entertaining for most groups--but not necessarily all side splitting gems.
When humor is used in a presentation, it’s like seasoning on bland food.
They’re not meant to be. All of the material here is humorous; some of it is even very funny. Remember though, that after you read this book, you will be able to entertain while presenting and make more sales.
Another thing you’ll learn in this book is how to change from presenting one-on-one to giving large group presentations if you want to. Giving group presentations is a great way to achieve more sales but maybe you just want to improve your one-on-one presentation skills and have no interest in giving group sales presentations. That’s fine; this book will also be great for you. You might even be looking for a product to sell or a topic to present on. Whatever your interest in selling and presenting is, this book will work for you. It will show you how to construct a new presentation or to improve the one you have. You have to be the one to apply the techniques. Sure, I’ll come out to teach you, but you have to buy me lunch and dinner.
This book was written for you because I do not want to sit through any more boring presentations or speeches! There, I said it. I was also a boring speaker (I know because I watched myself on video) until I learned how to integrate relevant, appropriate humor and interactive games and exercises.
As you know I was the licensee for the IMPROV Comedy Traffic Schools in Florida and I consulted in Florida and California. Go ahead and blame the bad drivers that graduated from our school on us – we’re used to it. Actually, students taking our classes repeated much less frequently than those attending competitive schools because they were paying attention. There were many dry and boring traffic statistics that were required to be delivered to the class (you haven’t lived until you’ve been heckled by traffic school students). We hired instructors that had some speaking experience (in most cases, actual comedians) and trained them on how to use certain interactive games, activities, and humor designed to reinforce important points. You could do the same thing without this book but you would have to wade through a lot of comedy books and you’d have to be sure your jokes wouldn’t offend anyone.
The reason we all need to use humor is because humor increases the retention of information we hear. Humor reinforces what people already think or feel. In some cases, humor can even change the listener’s point of view by exposing the ridiculousness of the message, assuming a message exists. It allows listeners to more easily accept you or your presentation, and humor makes you more likeable.
People do business with people they like and trust. Humor helps foster that bond. Victor Borge, the late comedian said, “Humor is the shortest distance between two people.” This is the advantage you will have over most of your competitors. When humor is used in a presentation, it’s like seasoning on bland food. It changes a dull meal into a masterpiece (it worked for my mother’s meatloaf). The late Rodney Dangerfield (he was the one who received “no respect”) said, “My mother was a bad cook. I don’t think meatloaf should glow in the dark.” Why does it seem like most of the great comedians are “late?”
It’s the same thing with how you present yourself and the way you speak. You don’t have to be a natural comedian to use and have success with the Sell It With Humor™ system. In fact, the less of a funny person you are, the better the system can work for you. You will see why and how that is so in the following chapters. Yes, I am shamelessly baiting you.
Actually, there are very few people who understand the use of humor in the business environment as well as I do. I say this in a pathetic way. Would you give up many of your Saturday nights to watch hundreds of comedians on DVDs, read dozens of comedian and humorists’ biographies? I’ve even read books on the psychology of why people laugh. Pathetic, right? Well, not if you can learn to increase your sales from my comedy “nerdiness.” I’ve also sold a lot and used humor to close many of these sales that otherwise would not have closed.
Not that it is anything to be proud of, but I absolutely got through most of my life with the use of humor when I needed it. There are clearly funnier people than me, but can they use relevant and appropriate humor to make sales, get dates (or get rid of dates), get out of dangerous situations, and fend off persistent bill collectors? (You will learn some of these techniques later in this book as your reward for sticking with me.)
In addition to improving your chances for financial security in life, humor can also be important for your safety. I’m not sure if I’m proud of this, but I have never been in a physical fight, unless you count losing a pillow fight against my daughter when she was four. It was awful, there was bleeding and feathers everywhere and that was just me.
It was awful, there was bleeding and feathers everywhere and that was just me.
We’ve all seen movies and television shows where the funny nerd makes the bully laugh so he won’t get beat up. I’m here to tell you that it works! Woody Allen tells a story in his stand-up comedy routine about how he was walking home from school with his tuba. A bully came up to him and said, “Hey Red!” Woody didn’t like this and decided to stand up for himself. He then goes on to say that he ended up in a local hospital that summer where a team of surgeons labored to remove a tuba. Funny, yes!
Here is a story where my friend, Gene Hamm, believes humor saved his life. Gene is also the animator for my daughter’s short films “Adventures of the Talking Clothes” and “Adventures of the Talking Pets.” I’ll let Gene tell the story:
I had lived in Hollywood for 10 years and never had any problems walking to the newsstand on Cahuenga. After I moved away, I came back to work on a job. I had a rotten day at work. Nothing was going right, so I decided to go see my old newsstand to feel better. I had to park the car on Ivar, a side street where a strip club was. Not a good neighborhood. I was walking to my car and coming the other way were extremely tough-looking guys. The guy in the middle was as wide as a house, so I had my eye on him. But, it was actually the skinny guy on the end who shoved me into a cyclone fence.
As I bounced off the fence, the world seemed to go into super-slow motion. I could see they were waiting to see me come back swearing or swinging, which would have been a big mistake. Instead I stopped and said with a big sigh, “Thank you. That was the end of a perfect day!” There was a long moment of dead silence and then all three of them broke out laughing. They saw me as human and empathized. They walked on down the street. The big guy in the middle slapped the skinny guy and said, “What did you do that for?”
Thanks, Gene. See, humor really can save lives!
Humor can save you in the business world, too! I remember a joke that “killed” (was very funny) at the real estate office. When I was selling or presenting to a real estate investor, company, or tradeshow, I might have used variations of this story to make a point and get a laugh:
“There are still buyers that have to buy. There always will be, you just have to find them and get rid of the looky-loo time wasters. I know the real estate market is slow right now. I recently had all of my listings on my office wall. Other agents were standing around laughing at my listings. So I did the only thing I could do, I charged a cover and a two drink minimum.”
The market is bad. It’s so bad that I saw a real estate agent standing on the corner with a sign that read, “Will sell your house for food.”
See what I did? I added information and had fun with the real estate market at the same time. How can you relate a personal experience or a story to help tie the knot between you and the listener? If you can do it, you are that much closer to the sale!
Another joke here for you real estate lovers to enjoy:
The market is bad. It’s so bad that I saw a real estate agent standing on the corner with a sign that read, “Will sell your house for food.” Funny, right? It killed at real estate meetings.
Can you adapt this to something in your occupation? Anyway, humor attracts the listener’s attention, especially in dry situations. So after learning the Punch/Point/Benefit™ technique (leave them with a punch line, the point or message, and the benefit of taking your recommended action), you will be able to “kill” at funerals (no pun intended), weddings (not your own though – I tried it), Tupperware parties, and even at training meetings (I knew you were thinking training meetings).
Humor that is appropriate for a given situation seems like an inside joke that only certain people will understand. It seems as though you developed the jokes especially for them, which they appreciate and will laugh at. Humor like this can be designed in advance like a weapon and will strike in the right situation.
You will also learn to modify “humor gems” (again, jokes we have reconstructed for our selling or reinforcement needs) for various types of companies and products. You will learn more about “humor gems” soon.
I consulted and trained a group of salespeople that worked for a step motor organization: you know, the little motors inside electric tooth brushes, small toy cars, and facial massagers. There was a motor, the Series Seven, that performed horribly in the market place. I knew about this issue in advance (this is where it pays to research your prospect’s company). So when a joke didn’t go over too well, I said, “That went over about as well as a Series Seven model.” They “died” (laughed).
My father worked at a factory and was replaced by a machine that did everything his father did--only better.
I killed (made them laugh) and was made the new sales manager for the national step motor company for $10,000,000 per month (not really, but the rest of the story is true). The management must have liked the joke also because they actually paid me the second half of the fee (but only after I held the entire company hostage – with an electric step motor screwdriver. Unfortunately, it had a Series Seven motor in it).
Woody Allen says that his father worked at a factory and was replaced by a machine that did everything his father did--only better. The funny thing, he said, “Was that my mother went out and bought one.” This might qualify as a “when in doubt, leave-it-out” joke. We will discuss this later. It’s funny though, isn’t it?
By reading this book, you will have access to tools which make it possible for you to enhance your current presentation or create a new one. You will also learn how to “wrap” humor around important points you want to get across, be more entertaining and have more fun speaking. Hopefully, you will also get paid for doing all of this. Also, if you’re not naturally funny-don’t sweat it. They’ll never see you coming and you’ll score bigger than you ever imagined. What else can I say? Oh yeah, remember to apply what you learn.
PUNCH/POINT/BENEFIT™ FORMULA
(We’re not
talking baby formula here.)
“Comedy is simply a funny way of being serious.”
-- Peter
Ustinov
Let’s start off with the Punch/Point/Benefit™ method (PPB). The PPB is included as part of the overall “humorization” process. A “humorized” joke becomes a “humor gem” and includes the punch, the point, and the benefit to the listener(s). This is a system I developed and copyrighted which allows a speaker or salesperson to get a laugh, make a point, and share the benefit – all in one story. I refer to this process as the PPB (not to be confused with PB & J). When you tell a story, you will provide something of value your listeners can take home with them, such as a point to your presentation or a benefit that he or she can apply to their life. In a perfect world, they will receive both.
A joke only becomes a humor gem after it has been modified for our selling needs.
You should present for a total of 3 to 6 minutes on each “topic point.” A “topic point” may also be viewed or referred to as a specific “message” you would like to get across to your listener(s) in a total of 3 to 6 minutes. These 3 to 6 minutes include both your important content, usually 1 to 4 minutes in length, and your “humor gem”, usually 2 minutes or less. The “punch,” “point,” and the “benefit” are already built into the humor gem and do not take additional time. You will see many examples in this book.
So, a 60 minute presentation will have 10 topic points (including 10 laughs) if the presentation is broken into 6-minute segments. If your 60 minute presentation is broken into 3 minute segments, you will include 20 topic points (and will receive 20 laughs.) Generally, presenters new to using humor will start with 10 laughs per hour presentation and will increase to 20 laughs, or more, as they become more experienced. See, that was painless.
This is the only short, technical section in this book. Please follow along and pay close attention as I explain. By the way, you are now experiencing the serious side to being funny, can you handle it? I know you can. Let’s review. First we have….
Content (1 to 4 minutes in length)
Content is the meat of the information your audience wants to hear and you want them to remember. Most likely, this is information that educates your listeners about your product, service, or the environment where it might be applied. You should have enough information about your topic to present from 1 to 4 minutes. In the chapter of this book titled “Show Me the Humor Gems”, I recommend certain content. However, feel free to modify any or all of the text for your own needs.
Humor Gem (Up to 2 minutes in length)
This is a pre-proven joke that we will be re-working to convert into a “humor gem.” The humor gem is the joke or funny story that has been modified to include the “set up,” “funny story,” “punch line,” “point,” and “benefit.” A joke only becomes a humor gem after it has been modified for our selling needs. By the way, never try to ad-lib intentionally, only use proven humor.
Don’t worry, they will laugh, or else.
Again, I refer to this process as “humorization.” The “humor gem” is usually broken up as follows:
First, we have the content: 1 to 4 minutes in length.
Then, we have the humor.
After the content, we have the “humor gem.”
Set up (about 10 seconds at the beginning of the 2-minute humor gem): It sets up the funny story part of the humor gem. This is also known as the “segue” or the “transition” to the funny story or joke. For example, you might say, “Speaking of oceanography, my wife and I recently dined at a fancy Beverly Hills sushi restaurant…” That should take about 10 seconds. Please understand that there are no “perfect segues” or “transitions,” these only allow you to move more smoothly from the content to the humor gem and sound realistic about it. After the set up, dive directly into the…
Funny story (joke): Up to the next 90 seconds of the funny story portion of the humor gem. It directly follows the 10 second “set up.” The funny story, or “humor gem,” includes the “punch line” (the words that lead to the laugh), which is at the end of the story.
The funny story is just a joke until it is re-worked to become a humor gem-a humor gem can make you money and reinforce a point. Keep in mind that the humor gem can certainly be less than 90 seconds. If your stories are short, simply add more information to the content (or more topic points and humor gems) to make your presentation of the topic point or message longer.
Punch line: This is the last line used in the joke or humor gem. It is the line that causes the laughter. Be sure to say this line clearly. After the punch line, the audience laughter will last at least 3 seconds. Be sure to allow at least 3 seconds for your audience to laugh and enjoy the story. Remember, the punch line is your listeners’ reward for following along with your content and story…and for putting up with you, right? Don’t worry, they will laugh, or else.
Important: As the laugh dies down after 3 seconds…go to the:
Point and benefit: Consists of about the last 20 seconds of the humor gem.
Point: (about 10 seconds) This is the point of the story, and it is the reason your audience is listening. This is what your listener(s) will take home with them. What do you want them to remember from your presentation? This is what is meant by “driving home the point” or message. For example, you would say something as simple as, “The point is, always wear your seatbelts.” Please offer the audience or your listener only one simple point. The same is true with the “benefit.”
Benefit: (about 10 seconds) The benefit is what your listener(s) will get out of the presentation. This is also what they will take home with them and ideally move them to action. How will they be better off after having listened to you? What actions are they now prompted to take? The benefit tells your listener(s) what the positive affect will be to them if they apply what you’ve told them to do in their own lives.
You simply state something like, “The benefit of wearing your seat belt is that it will most likely save your life if you were to crash.” Please only offer one benefit.
Note: I know the point and benefit explanations seem trite when spoken, but these are what allow the listener(s) to remember and use what they’ve heard. The simpler, the better. The point and benefit are simply stated so that they can be summed up in just a few words and spoken in less than 10 seconds each. You will see many examples throughout this book in order to help clarify the “humorization” and the “PPB” delivery method.
Remember, when you present anything, you need to get at least 1 laugh every 3 of 6 minutes to keep your audience “with you.” You will see many examples soon. Great job, you hung in there. Now the funny reward (see how this works?)
Let’s get to Punch/Point/Benefit™ (PPB) example. The topic point we will use for this example is “dressing well.” This story has been modified for your final use in a presentation (“humorized”) and includes a PPB. Simply plug and play this PPB in your presentation (I always wanted to say that.)
Please become familiar with the PPB format as you will see it often from this point forward. The model is designed to “suck” you in and make you believe it’s true. All good gems should do this. It offers a laugh and message at the end as the reward. Let’s take a look at…
PUNCH ‘EM WITH THE JOKE
STICK ‘EM WITH THE POINT
LEAVE ‘EM WITH THE BENEFIT!
Content: Dress codes are very different around the world. What you wear in your country or hometown for meetings may be very different from what other cultures consider appropriate. Before you travel, you should find out how to dress for your meetings and conferences so you don’t accidentally insult anyone or lose the sale.
Humor Gem: (“set- up” portion) Some investor friends and I have purchased some properties in the Middle East and recently decided to get together and travel to Egypt to learn more about the financial markets.
(The funny story continued): One of the guys got lost in the desert. Apparently he was moving very slowly and was barely able to stand on his feet. Suddenly, at the top of a hill, a guy with a camel appeared with 20 or 30 ties draped over his arm. “Water!” my friend cried. “I don’t have any water.”
The man on the camel said, “But I can sell you a nice tie for $15.”
“I don’t want a tie! I want water!” my friend said.
“Okay, two for $25.”
“No ties!”
The camel rider left in a huff.
My friend traveled alone in the heat for another couple of hours. Suddenly, another man riding a camel came up to my friend and said, “You look tired and thirsty.”
“Yes, I need water, do you have water?”
The camel rider said, “Sorry, I have no water, I have shirts. Do you need a new shirt? Only $15 dollars.”
My friend yelled out, “I want water!”
“Okay, two shirts for $25 dollars.”
“No shirts. No ties. I just want water! Where can I get some? Please just tell me where I can find some water!”
Want to buy some humorized jokes?
Two jokes for only $25–let
me get my camel.
“Oh, all right. Go in this direction, where I just came from. In a straight line from here, you’ll see a small palm tree. About 50 yards past the tree, you’ll get the water.” The camel galloped off. My friend followed the directions to the letter and he found himself facing a young man.
“Water! Do you have water?” my friend said hoarsely.
“Plenty of water here,” the young man said to my friend.
“Thank goodness! Let me have some!”
Punch: “I’m sorry, sir,” the young man said. “We don’t serve anyone not wearing a shirt and a tie.”
Point: “You should always dress nicely when you want something.”
Benefit: “You will be more impressive.”
So, let’s briefly review this story. First, let me take a drink of water…OK, that’s much better. Shoot, I spilled some on my shirt and tie.
This story is detail-oriented and designed to trick the listeners and to make the point to “dress well.” The Punch, Point and Benefit™ sections are not long and drawn out. They are short and sweet. This allows your listeners to quickly and easily grasp your message.
I also hope that you understood the message of this story and will always dress professionally. You have people watching you and you want to present a professional, credible image. In his book “Born Standing Up,” Steve Martin says that part of his success came from some advice he was given. He was told to “always dress better than your audience.” This is good advice for you and me. However, I would hold off on wearing the arrow through the head (I know, a 1970s reference). By the way, if you’re thirsty, don’t forget the shirt and tie.
If that humor gem doesn’t work with your personality, I will supply you with over 150 more in this book. If you don’t find what you need in this book you can search from over 10,000 additional jokes available on the joke market, or hire someone to write for your needs (yet another shameless plug). Want to buy some humorized jokes? Two jokes for only $25–let me get my camel.
Here’s another example using the topic of customer service:
Again, this is a true story. I was the Western regional sales manager of a company that manufactured sign-making equipment. My job was to visit all of the dissatisfied customers and sell them a new, more expensive, better piece of equipment than we sold them before (also, before I was with the company). All of the customers I was assigned to had previously paid full price for a non-working piece of equipment (which we had sold them) that they could never use.
My job was not to replace that piece of equipment, but only to sell them an additional one that worked better (true story). Are you getting the picture? It’s from the sales philosophy called the non-customer service customer service plan. Needless to say, the idea of selling additional equipment without replacing the first one didn’t work. This situation reminded me of a humor gem. This joke has already been humorized and you will see the Punch/Point/BenefitTM at the end.
Set up (10 seconds): My friend worked at an upscale Beverly Hills restaurant (it was really a hot dog stand, but restaurant sounds better). She told me they were getting ready for a special night.
Humor gem (90 seconds): The manager called all of the waiters and waitresses in for a meeting. He said, “I want all of you to look your best today. Greet every customer with a smile. Girls put on extra make-up. Men, put on extra cologne and everyone be a little more flirtatious with the customers.” “What’s up?” asked one of the waitresses. “Are a bunch of big shots coming in tonight?”
Punch: “No,” said the manager, “the meat’s tough today.”
Point (10 seconds): In business, sometimes we all have to do things that aren’t always fair.
Benefit (10 seconds): Going against the grain sometimes helps us to pay the mortgage.
Optional Tag (or topper): By the way, the winner of today’s raffle will be dining at that restaurant.
Here is another short example of a humorized joke:
Content: To me, I’m the greatest person in the world. I’m kind, honest, thoughtful, generous, and I always put the interests of others before my own. To my ex, I’m lazy, insensitive and only care about myself. So, there you have it, two different opinions.
Humor gem: She once told our marriage counselor that 20 years prior, she had a close encounter with a hideous, selfish, lazy, subhuman alien creature from outer space, but never reported it to the authorities. Then she went on to say,
Punch: “Instead, I married it.”
Point: We all have different viewpoints on how we appear to others.
Benefit: Only by listening to what others think about us, can we improve who we are.
Optional Tag: I said, “She never told me she had another husband!”
Tip: When presenting, spread the gems out as evenly as possible throughout your presentation so all of the laughs are not at the beginning or at the end of your presentation. You should be able to find all of the PPBs and humor gems you need for your presentation in this book. If not, there are other sources for finding funny stories that may relate to your presentation.
Final review:
1.Content (1 to 4 minutes)
2.Humor gem:
1.Set up:10 seconds
2.Humor gem story: 90 seconds
3.Wrap up:
i.Point: 10 seconds
ii.Benefit:10 seconds
Total humor gem time: 2 minutes
So does all this Punch/Point/Benefit™ (PPB) stuff make sense? Again, you’re talking to a book. Stop it, people are staring.
HOW TO TELL A JOKE
(It’s not as easy as it
looks on TV, is it?)
“Dissecting a joke is like dissecting a frog. It’s
interesting,
but pretty soon the frog dies.”
-- Robin
Williams
What is your definition of a joke?
You are correct. You probably thought of a story, riddle, pun, or set up and punch line, right? Actually, a joke is anything that makes someone laugh. If a joke writer knows that a joke is great and has proven that it will get a laugh then that joke becomes a gem. The joke or gem could be words, gestures, a funny face, physical action, even silence. That’s right, silence. Jack Benny holds the record for the world’s longest laugh. Seven minutes of silence, I’ve heard. Benny played a cheap skate character when in fact he was very generous (see, it’s all an act).
You should use the power of silence through pausing in your presentation. This technique causes people to lean forward and listen.
Jack was performing a skit on the Jack Benny Show when he was supposed to have been held up at gun point. The robber said, “Your money or your life.” Benny didn’t say a word but the audience laughed (silence can be funny). Seven minutes later the robber again said, “I said your money or your life,” to which Benny paused and replied, “I’m thinking. I’m thinking.” You should use the power of silence through pausing in your presentation. This technique causes people to lean forward and listen.
There are many styles of joke-telling. What’s the best style for you? Well, who are your favorite comedians? If you like Bill Cosby or Woody Allen, you probably like stories. If you like Henny Youngman, Bob Hope or Rodney Dangerfield, then “one liners” with set ups and punch lines may be your thing. Seinfeld and Tim Allen tell “bits” or “chunks,” usually a couple of minutes long each. You should watch the comedians that you like on DVD, learn and become comfortable with their style. There may be a reason that you like them. Who knows, during your presentation you might even channel one of your favorite comedians. Just be sure you channel a clean comedian for your presentation. Here is a fun exercise. Memorize one minute of your favorite comedian’s work, then repeat it to friends. Perhaps this delivery may become part of your style.
When you research material you can choose the type of delivery that works best for you. Generally, anything that strikes you as funny will strike other people as funny, too. If you were trying to be a professional comedian and get your own sitcom, I would recommend that you mine your work, friends, family and your personal life for comedic material. I’m not recommending that you write your own material. Far from it. Writing your own material is too time-consuming to test out and inappropriate jokes may cost you sales instead of making them. I’m recommending that you weave only proven humor gems and stories into your presentation. I’m also recommending that you do not try to ad-lib or make up things as you go along. Outline your presentation, write your content, add humor gems (like ingredients to food), and give the presentation. Seem simple? It really is. Don’t be intimidated by the process.
Here are some tips when using humor in your presentation:
“HUMORIZE” IS TO “HUMANIZE” (DON’T TRY LOOKING THESE WORDS UP IN WEBSTER’S)
Locating Your Material – Turn Jokes Into Gems
I have a library of humorous quotes for speakers, clean joke books (and not so clean ones which can be cleaned up) and speaker stories. You would have to read them all to find material that fits your exact messages. Relax, I’ve already completed this work for you. Since these jokes are written for speakers to use in their presentation feel free to use them. Just be aware that other speakers may be using them as well. Therefore, you should buy and read numerous books for this sort of material. But most everything you need to add humor to your presentation will be in this book. Remember, you only need a minimum of 10 laughs to punch up a one-hour presentation.
Keep in mind the joke (soon to be converted to gem) doesn’t have to be about your profession. If there is a joke about a plumber and you are a doctor, feel free to change the profession for the joke. Again, material from these books and resources are free for you to use in your talk. However, if you see a quote or a joke from a comedian, you must state who said it during your presentation. It’s mandatory and respectful to give credit where credit is due. Otherwise, you will be known as a “hack” (someone who steals material for his or her own gain).
Don’t be a hack. Recently, comedian Carlos Mencia had a television show called “Mind of Mencia.” Other comedians claim that Carlos steals their jokes. Robin Williams has also been accused of stealing other comics’ jokes. Both Robin and Carlos have had television shows or have been on television or in films. This “borrowed” material helped to get them there. Those they allegedly “borrowed” from received no credit. So, it seems that the last person to use any material on television owns it. Here’s the good news. Until it’s on television, no one owns it. Use it in your presentations but give proper credit and you’ll still get the laugh.
When in doubt, leave it out.
I have access to fantastic comedy writers and performers. Together, we have access to an inventory of hundreds, if not thousands of specific “humor gems” to help enhance any presenta-tion. These writers are well-trained and experienced in actually integrating humor throughout important or dry information, so major points and messages can come across in an educational and entertaining manner. Wow, can I explain that in a drier way? (See, not everything can be made funny.) We can also assist in structuring or restructuring an entire presentation. By the way, very specific instructions and examples are given in this book so you don’t need to hire us. How-ever, if you’re looking for a tax write-off...we’re here for you.
Be Selective (about the jokes you choose to convert to gems)
Bob Hope had a team of at least 10 to 15 comedy writers banging out at least 50 to 60 jokes each day. Of those he would pick out perhaps five, maybe 10 if they were really good. You don’t have to be so picky. You just want at least one that’s funny for each point that you are making. The joke should be representative of the point you are trying to make. It should be clean and geared for the most conservative audience member.
There is a rule about appropriateness when it comes to speaking in public. The rule is, when in doubt, leave it out. This means that you should leave out any material you feel may even slightly offend someone in the audience. I was recently interviewed by a reporter from the Wall Street Journal about my book. The reporter told me that the when in doubt, leave it out rule is true in journalism, too. Most likely someone will be offended anyway, but don’t add material you suspect may offend someone. You might give a great presentation, but you might say that one thing which makes the entire audience turn on you. It happens. That’s why you’re reading this book, right? The humor in this book has been screened for you.