Hey man, I've heard you sold your dreams
Collected Lyrical Poems of Benjamin G. Dubel
(with index of first lines)
by Benjamin G. Dubel
Compiled and Edited
by
Diana Mecum
January 2011
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www.DianaDoesIt.com
Easy-to-Read Digital Editions
Copyright © 2011 by Diana L. Mecum
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(Edition No. 2011 0322)
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* * * * *
Dedicated to:
My
gracious and wonderful mother ...
for carrying me through all my
trialistic times.
I love you,
Benjamin
* * * * *
Hey man, I've heard you sold your dreams
Collected Lyrical Poems of Benjamin G. Dubel
Table of Contents
Photograph and Short Biography
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Photograph and Short Biography
Photo: Benjamin G. Dubel, December, 2009
Benjamin Gregory Dubel was born in San Jose, California, on January 26, 1982. He attended south San Jose schools, and currently works in retail.
Benjamin is a self-taught guitarist, plays by ear, and has composed lyrics and music since his early teen years.
This collection of poetry was largely written in 1999, when the author was 17 years old. He shows a depth of feeling and maturity, which far exceed his age. The poems are talented, raw and moving. The editor feels that there is an authentic quality to the writing, which will resonate with many readers.
It is hoped that many more lyrical poems like these will be forthcoming in the future.
The Editor
* * * * *
There are times I find myself sitting
here wondering,
if I ever see you again someday, could you
forgive me?
Even though it seems like you are so far away these
days
I look back now just to see I’ve been left behind …
and
if I could ever stand back up after falling down
I know things
would be different this time around.
Well, I guess this is where I stand
now before you
forever guilty as sin, for everything I’ve
done.
But what difference does that make now anymore
there’s a part of me that’s dead inside …
knowing
only memories, my mind keeps going blank
as the thoughts of
you wash away this time around.
2004
"Dreams"
Hey man … I hear you sold your
dreams.
Why did you run down the wrong path?
Life isn’t as
hard as you think it seems,
it’s always easier to look back and
laugh.
Are you mad ‘cuz there’s no one
to blame?
Were you hoping that we would listen?
I’m sorry
that this happened, it’s a shame.
There’s a way out but
something is missin'.
Hey man … I tried to tell you
but
you were always never around.
It’s a shame you had to go and
let
the best years of your life get you down.
So look at you now, is this where you
stand?
Why do you keep your mind in prison?
You had so much
going for you as a man
but it looks like you have lost your
vision.
Hey man … you know I cried for you
but no one ever seemed to care.
Nothing anyone can say will
correct the past,
so I just hope you’ve found your way there.
"When everything breaks"
There are times I find myself stuck
inside your shoes,
and the more I fall apart, it seems like the
more you drift away.
When everything breaks, I’m the one left
feeling so confused,
and it makes me wonder sometimes if there is
anything to say.
"Gasoline"
Was it all just a dream that I once
had,
but not too long ago to forget,
everything that I once
had is something that
I have forgotten and left.
Behind is somewhere that I won’t
be,
I try to tell myself. Things can only get better
and not
worse. Stuck with the burden
of making something of myself and
alls
I know, is that it hurts.
Maybe someday nightmares will go
away.
Dream on she says. Maybe someday they
will fade away
but dream on she says.
You can’t keep going down this
path,
you will wind up in the middle of nowhere.
Ever have
someone laugh at you and feel
like it isn’t fair?
I used to work a nine to five for a
way to
make it in the world. The only thing that
keeps me
alive is the beauty of this lover girl.
Is that all that I need?
I don’t know but
I’ve seemed to find the way to go.
Maybe someday the nightmares will go
away.
Dream on she says. Maybe someday the pain
won’t stay,
but dream on she says.
"Never Changes"
So when at last all has been said and
done,
what will you say to me that I can believe,
if it seems
like every day gone by never changes?
... and from where I'm standing now,
it doesn’t seem like it ever will.
No matter how hard I try to make you
understand,
it doesn't seem like you ever will
and I see some
things never change.
Well, I thought by now maybe you
could see me a little differently,
not for who I am but what I
do.
Then, all of a sudden a part of me died inside
at the
thought of losing you.
And from where I'm going
now,
starting over again, knowing that it's not the same,
I
know there's a way somehow,
to make all the wrong things right
again.
So, when at last all has been said
and done,
what will you say to me that I can believe,
if it
seems like every day gone by never changes?
"When Tomorrow Comes"
Come on little lady, there’s a
train that’s leaving,
it’ll be leaving when tomorrow comes,
for good.
Today might be my only chance that I’ll have,
because when tomorrow comes, I’ll be gone for good.
Tonight is gonna be the night for
sure …
Tonight is gonna be the night for sure …
that we
both won’t ever forget.
Angel, you’re here night and day.
Angel, please don’t ever fly away.
I want to live the life
inside of you
so, when I die I can fly beside you.
Angel, I had a dream one night of you
you were that star shining in my window.
I dreamt that we’d
always go two in two
but I wondered if I would ever know.
Well I’ve got ten dollars in my
pocket, and I ain’t got a lot to lose.
I’ve got an angel on
my side who plays music like the blues.
Have to hit the road
before it gets too dark to see,
if I’ll get there by the
morning, that sounds just fine to me.
Before you come begging me for
something you wish you had,
I’m going to come begging you for
our love back.
Maybe someday you’ll see it before it’s too
late.
What you had was no joke, I just made a mistake.
I remember how you told me how much
you love me,
it felt so good back then. Now a days I’ve been
left
feeling depressed, teary eyed and heart broken.
But the
Lord knows I’m coming back to you.
But I have something I need
to do … so
Before you come begging me for
something you wish you had,
I’m going to come begging you for
our love back.
Before you come begging me for something you wish
you had,
I’m going to come begging you for our love back.
There are times in which I’ve lied
to you
because I couldn’t stand it anymore,
even though
tomorrow will bring the truth
to come around knocking on my door.
Day after day I never wanted to have
to be
the one that you used, and for so long …
you pushed
me away, (you pushed me away).
Well I guess there are things I
have to see
but these times don’t ever seem to change …
You know I won’t follow you down
this time
so don’t try begging me, (don’t try begging me)
With all of this sorrow that’s been
left behind
I can finally see now, (I can finally see).
All around us are futures under
estimated.
Mental children with evil thoughts contemplated.
Plans of one-way ticketed suicidal missions.
Bomb squad
backup split-second decisions.
When the baby you thought would never
cry,
is in a coffin now being kissed good bye,
why did this
happen, and who deserved it, no one does.
The memories preserve
it for lost loved ones.
There’s got to be some place for
peace between us.
Instead of junk bulk-rate mail … have you
seen us?
The shotguns rung at the sound of the school bell.
Those jokers laughed themselves straight into hell.
(Written in response to the Columbine massacre.)
* * * * *
"Dear Amanda"
God gave you wings,
so you could
fly like the Angel
that you seem to be to me.
I want to be
all the things
that you are …
so take me with you when you
leave
back to your star.
Every day that goes by
you’re
always on my mind.
Every day that goes by
you’re always on
my mind.
Me and you …
have every
opportunity
to spend heaven together
for all eternity.
So
baby don’t you worry, I’m not far.
I’ll always be in your
heart,
and everywhere you are.
Every day that goes by
I love you
all the time.
Every day that goes by
I love you all the time.
Every day that goes by
you’re
always on my mind.
Every day that goes by
you’re always on
my mind.
"Dear Amanda" [2]
You set my heart free,
and you
clear my mind of all that’s wrong.
I just hope you can see,
you’re the one who keeps me going strong.
Every day that goes by
you are
always on my mind.
Every day that goes by
you are always on
my mind.
I know that you are the one for me …
Angel, I’ve looked for you for so long.
"Dedication"
Don’t think twice, just leave if
you’re going to,
spare me the grief ‘cuz I’m trying to
forget you.
Might be nice if I could breathe when I want to,
and
get some relief, maybe try to get over you.
Don’t think twice, it might make
you mad,
because you lost all the things you could’ve had.
So
once again another friend, another day,
but why do so many have
to fall this way?
It wasn’t fate that brought you
here,
to die alone and live in fear …
It wasn’t fate that
brought you here,
to live alone and die in fear.
Looking back we can always laugh,
but now a days it’s not like how we used to.
Looking back
down the recent path,
I’ll walk it again but this time not with
you.
It wasn’t fate that brought you
here,
to die alone and live in fear …
It wasn’t fate that
brought you here,
to live alone and die in fear.
Don’t think twice, it might make
you mad,
because you lost all the things you could’ve had.
So
once again another friend, another day,
but why do so many have
to fall this way?
"Despise"
To tell you the truth I can’t look
you in the eyes,
and honestly admit everything that I realize …
It just seems like I’ve lost all respect for you,
I thought
we were friends …
and there was nothing more I’d expect of
you.
Why were you thinking … that it
would all be fine,
and we could move on and pretend not to mind?
All my life I’ve been played like a video game,
don’t
tell me you quit …
because you know that, that excuse is lame.
I can’t run away as much as it
would be nice to.
I can’t run away even though I despise you.
As of now I’m at a loss of words to
say,
that could explain or show how I’m feeling today.
What
should I do? Maybe you can decide,
should I run …
How far
will I get if I can’t ever hide?
Despise … do I really …
Despise
… is that silly?
I’m sitting here seventeen years
old,
alone against the world, hungry and cold.
I praise the
Lord for all the love that I get
each and every day …
But
how long will it be until I forget?
Sometimes I should congratulate …
but the world is not a perfect place,
then again sometimes I
really hate,
all of the bullshit …
That life’s managed to
throw in my face.
Even … still …
I can’t run away as much as it
would be nice to.
I can’t run away even though I despise you.
(I dedicate this to the one that I “Despise”.)
Only one place I have left to go,
and I don’t want to be there.
Come and tell me what you
know,
but don’t expect me to care.
For years I’ve tried to reach you.
Your mind has loaded my gun.
Everything you always wanted to
do,
has already been said and done.
Don’t push me because I will fall.
For I can’t be everything at once.
Send my life away
through the wall.
Why does it all come down at once?
Damaged my room left to occupy,
I
couldn’t find time worth saving.
Passion is for heroes born to
die,
when the shelter breaks for raising.
What if I knew what’s on your mind?
Don’t push me away, I already know.
I’ve heard the story
every line after line.
Search inside for the last place to go.
"Don't want to leave you"
Come inside and sit down for a while.
There’s a blanket on the sofa if you’re cold.
Looking
into your eyes, I see you smile,
and feel your love traveling up
the road.
Don’t want to close my eyes this
time,
and do things only because I have to.
Can’t let that
girl walk on down the line,
because babe I don’t want to leave
you.
So I wonder if time alone is enough,
to search inside for a piece of mind.
Stay up late just to
smoke my stuff,
listening to the music fade in time.
I know that your life is beautiful
and
beautiful just like you. I know I am
one who is blessed
with your heart,
and babe I don’t want to leave you.
"Drifting Apart"
Sometimes when we are drifting apart,
I get torn from this place,
and silent memories just break my
heart,
as I drift away in space.
How could you be so far away,
but
at the same time so close to me?
Yet I feel so broken today,
but
is that how it’s supposed to be?
Why do I feel like the one who has
lost
everything that I could hold near?
You know I know the
price that it cost,
when I wish that you were here.
I know it wouldn’t be the same
without you around.
When I hear you call my name, I get up when
I’m down.
When you say no one is at fault,
you know I don’t
feel the same.
Do you think missing you is enough,
when I can’t see you even with my eyes?
So how could you
tell me life is tough,
and possibly expect me to realize?