The Strizzi
or
Was Mother Teresa a Smooth Criminal?
by
Karlheinz Paulsen
Part of the series of
short biographies
“The Island of the Marooned”
SMASHWORDS EDITION
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PUBLISHED BY:
I.M.D. Publicación on Smashwords
The Island of the Marooned
The Strizzi
Copyright © 2010 by I.M.D. Publicación C.A.
Smashwords Edition License Notes
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About This Book
This is the first volume with entertaining, partially fictitious biographical portraits of characters from Europe that have found a refuge on the Southern Caribbean Island of Margarita, just off the coast of Venezuela. The idea is that you kick back and enjoy this book as a good read of true stories which feature some dodgy figures that at times have been enhanced with a touch of fiction.
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About the Author
Karlheinz Paulsen is the nom de plume of an expert on the expat scene found on Margarita Island who publishes partially fictitious biographies of the characters he meets. His inspiration to put pen to paper came after several encounters with these colorful characters ended with him holding the short end of the stick, which led him to believe that newbies should be offered a realistic impression of what their fellow islanders are capable of. Sometimes, in the interest of storytelling, it proved necessary to add second-hand information, but care was taken in such cases to ensure that the sources were reliable. Karlheinz Paulsen is a dyed-in-the-wool ‘Margariteño’, constantly on the lookout for the marooned and the shipwrecked of Europe, on the ready to chronicle their follies.
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Contents
From Austria to the Caribbean with a ‘Squaw’ in Tow
To Sell or not to Sell Newspapers – or Maybe Sell Beer?
Head First into the Shark Tank
Hey, big spender, wanna spend some time with one of my girls?
The Black Pearl of the Caribbean
To move, or not to move: Is that the Question?
Zapp Zerapp, or Stealing Things Polish Style
Rise and Fall (or: How Miss Bubu Could Have Saved the Day)
The Five Star Hotel and the Garbage Dump
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Preface
First of all, a note on the untranslatable title of this book: The exact definition of what a “Strizzi” (roughly translated as “rogue” from Austrian German) is, eludes even the Austrians, who will at times tell you it means “(small-fry) criminal”, and at others will insist that “pimp” is the correct definition. But with regard to the character in question, there is no sense in splitting hairs, as both definitions apply. And of all who revere the beatified Nun of Calcutta, I beg forgiveness for using her name, but it was the Strizzi who chose ‘Mother Teresa’ as his nom de guerre.
In chronological order, the next chapters will narrate the highlights of the Strizzi’s colorful life, with a special focus on his “business activities”, from the 1990s to present day. The author is by no means a fortune teller, but you need no crystal ball to see that the next few chapters of the Strizzi’s biography will be written on the island, maybe encloistered in a large facility with many brethren all living in small cells, but not exactly a monastery, if you catch my drift…
Readers that recognize themselves in one of the characters or take offense in the way an episode is described are kindly asked to simply take these lines as the fictitious part of the story, so that we can avoid fistfights or legal skirmishes the next time we meet.
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Typology
So, what visual image does the Strizzi present to the outside world? A completely objective description, as we have seen, is not possible, with the exception of some general parameters such as height, shoe size, color of eyes and hair, and so on. But who cares about such minor details, especially as some of these parameters are subject to modification and thus unreliable. The thing is, subjective definitions are just as tricky, because they depend on the eye of the beholder.
Even if we factor in the standard parameters as 5.9’ height, blond hair, slate-blue eyes and “50-something” of age, and assume that no artificial aids were used, subjective descriptions will tend to be ‘subject to change without notice’: His self description would read slim, wiry, with distinctive facial features and Caucasian skin color, and people loyal to him would agree. In contrast, someone who met him under less than favorable circumstances or holds a grudge against him might be inclined to describe him as a hooked-nosed broom handle of a man with a nuclear tan.
As already mentioned, similarity is a subjective matter, and so you just might run into an islander masquerading as a real estate agent who fits the objective and subjective descriptions given. In this case it will be up to you to decide whether this is the real deal or a figment of your imagination.
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