Xanta Claus
by Don Keeler
Smashwords Edition
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
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About this Work
This work and the information contained within are of fiction. All events, settings and characters are fictitious and are not intended to represent specific places or living persons. Characters of celebrities and organizations are in settings, events and actions which are fictitious.
All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction in whole or in part in any form or medium.
Cover layout design by Natasha Lavrinchik.
Copyright 2009 by Don Keeler. All rights reserved.
Manufactured in the United States of America.
Xanta Claus is available in paperback.
Also by Don Keeler, Published at Smashwords:
Acknowledgement
For my family. They have made every holiday season a special, wonderful time of year and provided the inspiration for me to create Xanta Claus.
Chapter 1 New Beginnings
It was December 27th and David was anxiously waiting for his older brother’s sleigh and reindeer to pick him up on the roof top of his Manhattan apartment building. It was the night of their annual family Christmas dinner and David had told his brother he had a special surprise for him. Oh, yes we should probably mention David Kringle’s brother is Kris Kringle also more affectionately known as Santa Claus. Each year the Kringle’s celebrated Christmas on December 27th due to Kris’s annual commitment.
Unlike his brother, David Kringle was a slender, dark headed, handsome man with a quick wit and a way with the ladies. However he still hoped to find the one, even though he had been searching for over a thousand years. Kris had been able to find Claire and he was as big as a house and hadn’t seen his toes in over a thousand years, so David thought there was still hope of him finding someone. Anyway, David is a good person, just a little rough around the edges. It is tough living in the shadow of a brother more famous than the Pope or Gandhi. That would be a hard act for anyone to follow. David had found a niche in life as an author writing about the family business. Title’s such as “Elves Gone Wild”, “One Reindeer You Don’t Want to Pet”, “What Happens at the North Pole Stays at the North Pole” and others. These were fiction mind you but less than flattering views of the North Pole and Santa’s operation. Despite these indiscretions, Kris loved his brother and always supported him. Tonight was a special night as David believed he had finally found his destiny and was anxious to share it with his brother. He heard bells jingling in the distance and stood up in preparation to board the sleigh. Soon David could see the sleigh approaching the roof top like a plane does a runway with it touching down smoothly and proceeding towards David. However, David thought the sleigh was traveling a little fast on its approach when it went into a hard sideways drift just before it reached him spraying snow and slush all over David who just stood there calmly with his eyes closed. By the time the sleigh had come to a stop David had been covered from head to toe with snow and ice. His hair looked like a snow Amadeus wig while the rest of him resembled an ice sculpture done with in a horizontal blizzard look as the theme. Without looking, David calmly said “Hello Martin.” as he started to clear his eye sockets of ice and snow. The elf driving the sleigh was Martin, one of Santa’s top elves.
“Hello David.” said Martin less than enthusiastically.
“Nice landing.” said David sarcastically as he tried to brush the snow and ice off his clothes.
“Thank you. I was rather proud of the style points it would have received.” answered Martin with a devilish grin.
David then climbed into the back of the sleigh glaring at Martin as he entered. Before he could sit down the sleigh took off with a sudden jolt knocking David to the floor in the back seat of the sleigh.
David reached and grabbed the back of the front seat and pulled himself up so his head was all that you could see “I take it you read this year’s book?” said David with a mischievous grin.
Martin didn’t turn to reply but just squinted his eyes in anger and immediately executed several barrel rolls like an F-16 fighter. The g-force of the maneuver pinned David back to the floor of the sleigh until it leveled off. Once again David grabbed the back of front seat and slowly pulled himself up obviously feeling nauseated.
“Oh, I’m sorry David I forgot you don’t like flying in a sleigh?” said Martin with an innocent grin.
“Martin I get it, you didn’t like my book!”
“Would you be talking about, “Elves Gone Wild”? Why wouldn’t I like the book David? Could it be because the totally fictitious character Martin was a fornicating alcoholic?” Upon finishing his sentence, the reindeer immediately executed two more high-speed, barrel rolls to perfection, once again pinning David to the floor.
As soon as they leveled off, David grabbed the left side of the sleigh and threw up. He then sat on the floor exhausted, leaning against the side of the sleigh with one arm hanging over the side trying to collect himself.
“Oh my David, I sure hope I didn’t cause that.” Martin said giggling.
David smirked at Martin sheepishly, unable to muster any form of retaliation.
Soon they arrived at the North Pole and landed on Main Street, coming to a stop directly in front of Santa’s home. Martin was smiling as he held the sleigh door open for David whose hair was still a complete wreck; it almost looked like some sort of ice sculpture peacock. Freezing and nauseated, David looked severely pale as he glared at Martin. David then slowly stood up and tried to straighten his hair and clothes. The whole time he did not take his eyes off Martin in anticipation that he might try something else. He then started to exit the sleigh while looking Martin directly in the eyes “Wait until you read my next book!” and just before he put his foot down on the step stool of which Martin promptly kicked away and sent David tumbling head over heels across the street.
About that time Santa had hurried out of his house to greet his brother. David had just rose to his feet with a wild look in his eyes and started yelling “Ok, that’s it little man, me and you and the rumble at the North Pole.” He then lunged at Martin who was in a crouched position ready to mix it up with David when Santa Claus came around the sleigh and quickly realized what was going on. He jumped in front of David, catching him in mid air, stopping his attempt to assault Martin. With Santa’s back to him, Martin smiled big and flipped David off which infuriated David even more “Kris let go, this elf needs his little ass kicked!” as he tried desperately to escape Santa’s grip. Martin turned and nonchalantly loaded back into the sleigh and started driving back to the hangar all the while flipping David off again with his back to him. David was watching Martin drive off with a crazed look in his eye when Santa said “Why do you write such things and use his name in every book you write?”
This seemed to bring David back to his senses “Why do you send him to pick me up every year!”
Santa just laughed “I don’t! He pays the other Elves to switch places so he can get a crack at you. Do us both a favor and leave him out of your next book, please! It will take years for him to cool down with the reprints and all.” Santa then started to drag his brother into the house while David was still looking in the direction of where Martin had gone.
David then looked at his brother and said “Hello Kris.”
“Hello David. Glad to see you could make it.”
“Kris don’t get mad but I am going to kick his little ass if I ever get the chance!”
“Give it a rest already.”
After saying this they were standing in the entry way of the house where they both stopped and looked at each other and hugged. Kris and David then entered the house together. Inside Kris’s wife, Claire, Mrs. Claus, it gets confusing, greeted David with a hug.
“Oh… David, it is good to see you.” said Claire genuinely happy to see him.
Smiling David said “There’s the one my brother took from the flock” giving Claire a big hug and continued “and there were no good ones left!”
“Oh hush David, I know good and well you don’t sit around and stew over any woman.”
“The curse of my life Claire, the curse.” said David placing his hand over his heart sarcastically while making a semi serious face. They just laughed and walked towards the dining room.
In the dining room there was an amazing spread of food as was the case every year; turkey, ham, yams, candied apples, mashed potatoes, and it went on.
“Lovely meal as always Claire.” said David.
“You’re welcome even though I should throw you over my lap and beat you for the last book you wrote. Seriously, “Elves Gone Wild”, we know you don’t mean anything by it, but the Elves… and then you named Martin again…”
Santa Claus had interrupted her “Claire, Martin gave him the ride here… so”
“Oh, well then… I am sure you had punishment enough.” She said smiling and matter fact all at the same time. David just sat there with a scowl on his face at the mention of Martin’s name again. Claire then went into the kitchen to get yet another dish to serve at dinner.
David sat at his usual place in the center of the table while Kris took his seat at the head of the table. Soon Claire came in and sat down at the opposite end. Kris then started to give the blessing “Dear Lord, thank you for such a good year and giving us the means by which to bring hope into children’s lives…”
“Ten years or younger.” interjected David suddenly during Kris’s prayer with his eyes closed and hands folded.
Santa confused a little had stopped his prayer but started from where David interrupted “and thank you for the elves…”
“Except Martin who is a known alcoholic and fornicator.” interrupted David eyes still closed and hands folded. Hearing this Claire giggled slightly trying to hold it back.
Santa slanted his head sideways and opened his eyes and looked at Claire slightly bewildered “Don’t encourage him.” and then continued “and the elves who work tirelessly to provide the symbol of hope through the gifts they so masterfully create. Thank you for my brother David who we love dearly and thank you for him being able to join us…”
“Because he was almost killed by a sadistic elf.” blurted David once again with his eyes still closed and hands folded.
Santa obviously getting impatient with the interruptions continues louder “and for my wife Claire who has always been very patient and tolerable of my work and is the best partner any husband could ever ask for.”
“Amen!” said David loudly at which point Santa opened his eyes and looked at David with a scowl on his face.
“David would you like to give your own blessing now?”
“No, I just liked providing the color for your message which by the way was quite good.” said David in a sucking up manner.
“I can’t wait any longer.” said David as he stood up from the table. “I have been waiting to tell you both in person so here goes. I finally know what I was destined to do!” he exclaimed.
Kris and Claire quickly glanced at each other not sure where David was going with this so they both placed their utensils down by their plates to give him their full attention.
“Now I know this is going to sound a little weird at first but I want you to hear me out before you say anything, OK?”
“Ok.” said Kris with a puzzled and concerned look on his face.
“I want to start my own business which actually compliments your business!” he said excitedly, almost rambling, as he pointed at Kris with a big smile on his face looking for approval.
Kris sat there for a few seconds then sensing David wanted a reply he said “Well… sounds good so far David.”
“It is Kris! It is! You know how we have discussed how your fairy tale ends when a child becomes a non-believer around ten years old and how it was such a shame as many people go through life needing the hope Santa gives to every child through the simple act of a gift?”
“Well yes…” Kris replied trying to figure out where David was going with this.
“I checked it out. I can start my own fairy tale to pick up where yours leaves off!”
Kris and Claire looked at each other not knowing what to say.
“I am already an immortal because of your fairy tale status so why not put it to good uses? Here’s the idea, I am the Xanta Claus, get it? X-treme Santa, X-tra Santa, or X as in Not Santa, I really like the X-treme Santa, more hip I think, but not sure it carries into the much older crowd…” rambled David placing his hand on his chin in thought for a moment.
Kris said “David…”
“Yes, what is the purpose of my fairy tale you ask? It is to continue providing hope for those who move over to the non-believer side where yours ends. As Xanta Claus I will provide gifts of hope to make the world a little better through these simple acts.”
“David do you realize the amount of work involved with what you propose? This is my only true day off every year is when you come here to visit.” said Kris trying to reason with his brother.
“Kris I know how hard you work, I really do. But I am ready to make this commitment. I have been going from one thing to the other trying to find out why I have the gift you gave me and want to do what I can to make a difference for once in my life.”
Kris continued “David you would have to build a facility, deal with the elf union, train reindeer, develop a customer base and then of course you would have to ultimately make a presentation to the Council of Fairy Tale’s. I have annual reviews with them every year and it’s no picnic.”
“Kris I want to do this. I have never been as sure of anything in my life.” David then looked at the ceiling and said “You know how I know this is right, whether I do it or someone else does? It is because I still miss that feeling I had when I received a gift from Santa Claus.” David said showing genuine emotion.
Kris may have been an extremely generous, jolly elf, but one thing he knew was when someone was speaking from their heart and he knew his brother was. Kris just smiled and said “I believe you David.” Kris then looked at Claire who nodded her head yes in support. “So we will support you and help you prepare for your presentation to the council.”
Hearing this David ran to his brother and gave him a hug and then to Claire “This means a lot to me guys. I won’t let you down.”
“Ok, David let’s eat this excellent meal Claire has prepared and after we will start making plans. Just remember the council’s word on anything is final. If they reject your proposal it is final. If they accept your proposal the edicts they lay down are final. You understand this?”
“If I try and get shot down I can live with that, but not trying is what I don’t want haunting me from here to eternity.”
“Ok then, let’s eat and then we’ll get started.”
“Thank you.” said David “Now pass the mashed potatoes you have been hogging over there before they get cold!” They all laughed and began to enjoy their meal and time together.
Chapter 2 Fairy Tale Licensing
It had been a week since David introduced his Xanta Claus idea to Kris. They had worked tirelessly on his fairy tale platform he would present to the council. During recorded time there were very few fairy tales that had been given a charter and even fewer which became widely accepted like Santa Claus, Easter Bunny, and the Tooth Fairy being the top performers of all time. Kris knew this was an uphill battle for his brother but he wanted to make sure that all was done that possibly could be so David could live with the results. David’s ideas and format did present many concepts that were unfamiliar to Kris but David had lived in the world where Kris had stayed at a distance so he was going to trust his brother on some of the items.
Of course being the headliner Santa was in the Fairy Tale business Santa was able to pull a few strings and secure a spot at the Council of Fairy Tale’s next meeting for David to present his proposal. However, this meeting was in just a few days so they were scrambling to prepare for this.
The Council of Fairy Tale’s meeting was held in a massive circular sanctuary where there were seats extending from the bottom floor to one hundred rows high. The bottom floor resembled that of a court room with the six council members sitting towards the back of the room about six feet off the floor at a massive ornate all-in-one desk. There were two tables with chairs in front of the council members. It occurred to David they probably held trials here as well and it was a scary thought to think what their cases would have been for. Kris and Claire were sitting in the first row of the observation seats in the sanctuary. Kris leaned over to Claire “I hope he doesn’t get to nervous. You know how they can be.”
“He is ready and David is many things but shy is not one of them.” she said smiling back at him.
David was sitting in a chair at the table on the right side of the room. The heel of his right foot was moving up and down nervously as he waited for the meeting to begin. On the table in front of him were documents, reference letters and diagrams that he would use as part of his presentation.
The six council members returned to continue the meeting and took their respective places. The meeting was called to order by the presiding Grand Fairy Bartholomew Horowitz pounding his gavel. He was a distinguished looking older gentleman who proceeded to say “Council we are now going to hear David Kringle’s proposal for granting a charter to his fairy tale, Xanta Claus.
“Thank you your grand fairiness.” as he said this he struggled to gain control of himself.
“Council first I would like to point out that this is not a reflection on my brother’s fairy tale in anyway. As Santa Claus my brother has been the most successful fairy tale in recorded history. And by the looks of the council you have a good understanding of how long I mean when I say this. There is no debate about this fact. However what I propose is a fairy tale for everyone older than ten years old or at the time they become non-believers. Why must the gift of hope stop because we are not children anymore?”
A councilman said “Because they grow up and become adults!”
David responded flamboyantly “Personally I’d like to think everyone has little kid left in them.” He then looked at the council seeing their stoic, all business faces “and then again some may not.”
Feeling the pressure to recover “More to the point what person would not want to continue to receive that single gift of hope each year. In many cases it is the only act of kindness they will receive and who knows what individual value that has to a person? None of us do. But we do know it is a good thing to give. My brother has been doing it for over a thousand years, giving gifts that continue to give hope to children. Who’s to say that should stop just because you’re older? We all need hope, without it what is the purpose of existence?” The council members looked at each other mumbling back and forth, David’s words seeming to hit home.
The Grand Fairy said “Please continue with your proposed plan Mr. Kringle.”
Kris looked at Claire and whispered excitedly “He’s doing it Claire.”
Encouraged by the fact that they wanted to hear more David continued “Even though it is an extension of my brothers fairy tale I believe it is important that they be easily distinguished from each other. To that point, my brother is stationed at the North Pole we could be stationed at the South Pole. Instead of Santa Claus I will be known as Xanta Claus which actually allows me to market to younger adults as X-treme Santa, middle age as X-citing Santa” David then paused to wink at the woman council member and then continued “or just Xanta as in the Un-Santa to associate with me the darker side but it’s open ended allowing me to not exclude any sector of the population.” David looked at the council and could see they were still intently listening to his surprise, so he quickly continued.
“Our slogan is, “For a little Christmas cheer, Xanta is here!” He then rambled of the exclusion statement “Excluding nice children between the ages of birth to ten years of age who are duly served by Santa Claus.”
“Our service will be the same as Santa’s giving gifts to anyone eleven years or older for those who request them. It is through these simple gifts we intend to bring hope to the rest of the world‘s population at Christmas.”
David looked at the council and sensed it was time to wrap it up “I am aware of the fact that the council determines what magical powers I would be granted like my brothers; flying reindeer, capacity to teleport into homes, supply of elves, and the rest.
Ladies and gentlemen of the council that is my proposal for the Xanta Claus fairy tale charter. Are there any questions I may answer?”
“David why are you just now coming forth with this proposal? You have been an immortal for over one thousand years?” asked a council member.
“That’s a fair question. It is true I have been trying to find my purpose in this life for a long time but when this mission unveiled itself to me I knew it was what I was destined for. It feels right. It fills a void we have in this world we know exists during the most volatile time of the year.”
The elf member of the council, Elessar Táralóm, had been eyeing David skeptically throughout the whole presentation asked “You’re a writer Mr. Kringle are you not?”
“Yes.” answered David knowing where this was going.
“And did you not author a book published under the title “Elves Gone Wild” just last year? Which I might add was less than a favorable depiction of male and female elves.” as he said this several in the audience snickered.
“Did you read it? That was some of my best work as a writer, it made people laugh.” David caught the slightest of smiles out of the Grand Fairy and continued. “You will notice I said as a writer. What I will be doing in the world will be as Xanta Claus whom no one has met as yet.”
The Grand Fairy agitated spoke up “We have already discussed this and not everything revolves around elfdom Elessar. Anyone else on the committee have any questions worthy of addressing.” As the Grand Fairy said this he looked down his glasses at Elessar who was visibly irritated and had sat back in his chair with his arms folded looking straight ahead.
“The council will now recess to private chambers and discuss your proposal Mr. Kringle. Please wait here until we return.” said the Grand Fairy as he and the others rose to leave.
Kris and Claire had exited their seats and went over to where David was standing “Great job David, great job! If I was on the council I would vote for it.” said Kris.
“You’re saying that because you’re my brother.” replied David.
“David, you did very well.” added Claire.
“Thank you guys, we’ll just have to see what they say. Kris you think Elessar going to be a problem?”
“Truthfully he is one vote and to get the majority vote you need four out of the remaining five votes to pass your fairy tale. But I thought you did well, so we will just have to wait and see the verdict.” answered Kris.
David, Kris and Claire sat at the table and waited. Minutes turned into hours when finally the council reentered the room and took their places. David stood up in anticipation of the announcement of their decision.
The Grand Fairy began “As you know we do not hand out fairy tales every day and quite frankly the only two we have tried since the success of Santa Claus were major flops, Pumpkin Man for Halloween and most recently Prince of Kwanza, both failing miserably. In light of this we believe we steered too far off the path of what the public is familiar with and expects. That is why we are willing to approve a one year provisional charter for your fairy tale, Xanta Claus, with a review hearing on December 30th of this year.” The room became a buzz with conversation at this issuance of a new provisional fairy tale.
David was ecstatic and yelled “Yes! You won’t regret this you, you… grand fairy! You either Ebenezer! (referring to Elessar the elf).” David hugged his brother and Claire.
The Grand Fairy pounded his gavel “Order! Order!” as the hum of conversation subsided he continued “Here are the guidelines by which you will be operating this first year. First we do not want this to be a detriment to Santa’s fairy tale and in line with the intention of Xanta Claus being an extension of this fairy tale we believe there should be some cohesiveness between them. Therefore the following parameters have been set for this provisional fairy tale. You will wear a crushed velvet blazer and pants as your uniform with your colors being black with red trim rather than Santa’s current red with white. Xanta Claus will be required to travel using reindeer and a sleigh to deliver gifts the same as Santa. The sleigh will follow the same motif modifications as the suit.” He then paused and looked directly at Kris “Santa for the reindeer we know that you have operated for many years with the same eight and sometimes nine reindeer. Your younger reindeer backups we believe would be more than eager to embark on their own Christmas mission. Would you agree with this?”
Kris stood up to address the council “Yes, they have been waiting a long time for their own assignments. I would be more than happy to give them to my brother for his operation.”
“Good. Then that is settled. Santa please send eight reindeer and an alternate to the South Pole to facilitate the reindeer team required by the Xanta Claus fairy tale. Now concerning your work force Xanta, we are bound by our agreement with the International Elves Union (IEU) made in 906 A.D. that only elves would be used as workers for Christmas. With the intent of protecting Santa’s current operation, no elves will be pulled from his work force but rather IEU assures me they have an untapped elf resource they are more than able to pull from to full fill the needs of the Xanta Claus operation. In addition they will be sending a head elf trained in all aspects of manufacturing and production.” David glanced a look at Elessar who had a particularly disturbing grin on his face. David thought sarcastically “He will be just so helpful I am sure”.
The Grand Fairy continued “Your facility will be constructed as soon as we adjourn this meeting and will be ready for operations when you arrive. In the area of magical powers we are able to grant you the same powers as Santa. You will have the ability to manage your list of customers similar to Santa’s nice and naughty list with the same capacity to virtually view your client’s activities. The head elf will help you adjust the settings of this device to meet your needs. You will also have the standard ability to teleport yourself into people’s domiciles the same as Santa. The actual fairy tale charter contract will be drawn up and delivered by a council courier for your signature. Well… that appears to be the major points, do you have any questions Mr. Kringle?”
“When do I get started?” asked David enthusiastically.
Kris then stood up at the table behind David “Grand Fairy my I address the council?”
“Yes Santa, what is it you wish to say?”
“Knowing how long it took to establish my own fairy tale is it possible to extend the provisional period for a longer time frame to give David more time to establish his fairy tale?”
“We did discuss this Santa and understand your concern, but unfortunately our previous fairy tale failures have forced us to require a much shorter time frame to evaluate this fairy tale in an attempt to limit our exposure. We are still dealing with issues over the Kwanza fiasco.” This comment received many rolled eyes and muttering by the council.
Kris realizing there was no arguing this point replied “I see, thank you.”
“Are there any more questions?” as he looked around the room. “Then this meeting is adjourned.” said the Grand Fairy pounding his gavel down. “David please enter the transporter over there when you are ready and you will be sent to your new facility at the South Pole to immediately begin operations.”
“Thank you. You won’t regret this.” said David as the council left the chamber.
David turned around to face Kris and Claire “Wow! I can’t believe this is actually happening.”
“David we are proud of you.” said Claire touching his cheek. “We will check in on you to see how it is going. Well I will leave you two alone. Good luck David!”
In a somber tone Kris said “David this is a huge step for anyone. If I can help you in any way I will.” The two brothers then hugged. “Good luck.”
“Thank you for all the help Kris! I will make you proud!”
Kris turned around “I have always been proud of you. Just keep it that way. Follow your heart, it will always be your best compass in life.”
“I take it you mean to use my heart rather than the other compass which has led me down not so favorable choices?”
Kris just laughed “You could always make people laugh.” He then turned and joined Claire to leave.
David took a moment to look around the council chamber one last time. As he headed to the transporter he said “Well world, are you ready for Xanta Claus?”
Chapter 3 First Day
As David descended to his location at the South Pole he could see the translucent spectrum of light that radiates through the climate dome covering the Xanta Claus community. This would definitely display a more intense aurora light show not seen in this area before. David passed through the climate dome and caught a glimpse of the Xanta Claus community for the first time. The buildings were actually very contemporary with all the same amenities you would find in any large city, buildings of smoked glass, modern multi-family dwellings, a movie theater, restaurants, a nightclub, and the largest complex of all was the manufacturing facility. It was different than the North Pole but he liked it. He thought the council had done well with its design, realizing his audience was older so this would be the right atmosphere for the mission of the Xanta Claus fairy tale. It was his familiarity with the North Pole that had caught him off guard a little. He came to rest in the middle of Main Street where he stood for a moment and scanned the area. He looked down and saw that his cloths had changed into the new Xanta Claus suit. The body of the suit was black velvet trimmed in red. His hat was collapsible and in the shape of those worn in the military. His hat was black velvet with red trim also. His belt and shoes, not boots, were coal black. The overall ensemble was pretty sleek looking but he did feel it projected a certain tone of darkness. He made a mental note to investigate how his attire could be “cheered” up later.
The South Pole was a ghost town. He was the first to arrive and the total silence was a little unnerving. “Well let’s get started.” he said to himself as he headed to the manufacturing facility.
On the way he heard someone shouting “Hello! Is there anyone here?” in a high pitched voice.
“Over here!” yelled David.
As David approached the street in front of the manufacturing facility there appeared who he assumed would be his head elf. He recognized this because of his research of elves he had done for his books and knew that head elves were taller than their counter parts giving them physical and implied authority.
“Hello, I am David or Xanta Claus.” with his hand extended.
“Hello Xanta Claus, I am your new head elf, Gustaf Yulealog. Gustaf was obviously a younger elf, wearing glasses with no metal rim around the lenses. He appeared to be shy and a little nerdy. He was wearing a traditional dark green elf’s suit. “I was sent here by the International Elves Union.”
“I am sure you were Gus.” replied David thinking his next book might be a humorous examination of elf council member Elessar.
“If you will give me the list of products we will manufacture I will begin configuring the different brass tags in the plant and preparing supply orders.” suggested Gus.
“Oh, yes that is a good idea Gus but we have a slight problem, we are not sure what types of gifts our clients will want as yet.” Gus stood there blinking his eyes at David as if he had said something terrible. You see head elves are trained on managing the operations of a manufacturing facility and everything is based upon a production schedule which obviously was not available making this a non-textbook case which alarmed Gus.
Sensing the alarm from Gus’s face David said “We are a new Christmas enterprise so we need a way to poll our clients to see what they want first so I …”
All of the sudden there was a tremendous amount of noise coming from further in town. David and Gus walked towards the source of the commotion. As they turned a corner they could see the lights were on in The Wee Club and could hear “Santa Baby” playing loudly on the juke box. As they opened the door to the nightclub they find a rough looking group of elves sitting at the bar and tables drinking what was obviously stiffer than eggnog, laughing while scantily dressed elf waitress’s served them. Gus’s eyes had popped out of their sockets.
Eventually the elves noticed Xanta Claus standing in the doorway and it became quiet with someone turning off the music. Gus whispers to David “These are the worker elves. They should have a foreman that is over them.”
“Thanks Gus.” as he stood back up from leaning over. “Is the foreman here?”
“Ya, that would be me.” said an unshaven elf as he stood up from his table and walked towards them.
“I am David, or Xanta Claus, and this is our head elf Gus.” said David.
“My friends call me Jack.” as he shook David’s hand. “Nice suit.”
“Ok, now that the management team is all here lets head over to the factory and layout our next steps.” Gus shook his head in agreement while Jack just shook his head in disgust and reluctantly followed blowing a kiss to one of the waitresses.
“So Jack, where were you working before here?” inquired David on their way to the plant.
“I was in Miami Florida working as an actor.”
“Really, so movies, theater, commercials, what do you do?”
“No, Macy’s.”
“Macy’s, I have never heard of that?”
“Sure you have, Macy’s department store, I worked there during the Christmas season as an elf.”
David stopped and just looked at him.
“What? You asked and I told you what I did. Don’t be judging me.”
”So how did you become foreman of our operation? My brother’s foreman worked for decades before he took the position.”
“Yeah well, I used to be Santa’s foreman before he released me. That’s how the elf you know got the job.”
“I see so what did you do to get fired by my brother? I mean he is extremely tolerant so you must have been exceptionally naughty!”
“He is tolerant I will give you that. Actually it was the Union who reassigned me. They said my activities were affecting the efficiency of the operation which was a lie, because while it is a fact I play hard but when I am at work I work just as hard! It was a bum rap, bum rap I tell ya!”
“What’s the story on the rest of the elves back in The Wee Club?”
“Many have been reassigned from the North Pole like me and are coming from less than awesome gigs. But get this straight, we work hard and we play hard. If you can live with that then we can have a good thing going on here Xanta.”
They had just returned to the front of the factory when David heard the faint sounds of music causing them all to look up where they saw eight reindeer and sleigh making an approach to land on the street where they were standing. They had to duck as the sleigh was coming in way to fast. With the music “Run Rudolf Run” blaring the reindeer tried to stop but the sleigh started to sway side to side, careening off the front of buildings, knocking down street lights until finally coming to rest. The sleigh had been demolished with only the sleighs frame and skids left intact. The reindeer had collapsed from exhaustion and were heaped in a pile panting. By this time many elves had gathered in the street and were laughing at the spectacle.
David and the others arrive at the scene of the accident “Gus, see if any of them are hurt!”
“Right”
“That was some nasty wreck! And they’re your drivers? Good luck with that man!” offered Jack shaking his head.
David thought he better start getting Jack in line “Your first duty at the South Pole is to get this mess cleaned up and the sleigh repaired.” He said with a look that said do not give me any grief.
“It’s cool man, we will take care of it.”
By now it was late and David was running out of gas after all the nights of no sleep preparing for the council meeting “Guys, meet me at 8:00am tomorrow in my office at the plant. I am going to get some rest.” They nodded their heads in acknowledgement. “Now all I have to do is find where I am staying…” and David walked towards where he thought his house would be.
Chapter 4 Second Day
David had found his house the night before which ended up being a penthouse on the fourth floor. Actually it was the entire fourth floor. Only the manufacturing plant was taller at the South Pole. The whole level was circular and rotated slowly providing a panoramic view of the South Pole community. David was impressed with his penthouse but could not help but feel they had a mountain to climb with the staff and the time given to prove the worth of their fairy tale. David had left the penthouse and headed to the factory for their meeting. As he walked by the location of where the reindeer had wrecked the night before, he noticed that everything had already been repaired. This made him feel a little better. He looked closely at the street lights, sides of the buildings and they had all been repaired so well you could not even tell they had been damaged. He then decided to take a slight detour and went by the hangar to check on the reindeer. As he walked through their area some of the reindeer were sitting up with cold packs on their heads while others had cold packs and bandages on their legs. “That was quite a landing boys.” David said sarcastically. Some of the reindeer just let out a moan and fell back on their bed of hay.
David had only seen a few elves in the diner this morning and was wondering where they all could be. As he passed The Wee Club he decided to take a peek inside against his better judgment. He opened the door to see elves lying on the floor, across tables, on the bar with bottles and glasses strewn everywhere. Not wanting to deal with it at that moment he closed the door quickly in hopes no one would see him. “I have to get that factory operational as fast as possible to keep these guys busy.” he thought to himself.
A cell phone rang a couple of times and David realized it was his “Hello!”
“Hello David, its Kris!”
“Hey there brother, how are you?”
“Doing well thank you, just checking in to see how you were doing?”
“Fine, fine, aside from the drunken elves, a totaled sleigh driven by the rock’in rookie reindeer team, a shady elf foreman Jack whom you had fired apparently previously and my shy head elf… good.”
“Oh my David.”
“Hey it’s fine, we will find our stride I know it. Your empire was not built in a day.”
“That’s the spirit David. Keep it positive and good things will happen.”
“Don’t worry Kris, really all is going fine so far. I will let you know if I need some help.”
“Don’t just say it David, mean it. I will do whatever I can.”
“I know you would. Tell Claire I said hello.”
“I will. Go gett’em!”
“I will. Talk to you soon.” and with that he hung up and opened the huge walnut stained doors to the factory. The factory was massive. The council had left the factory design the same as Santa’s. It did not matter what you were building, Santa had the manufacturing process down after a thousand years. In the center of the main assembly area was a glass dome that glistened the gambit of rainbow colors throwing shards of light throughout the facility. To the left and right of the main entrance was a stairway which followed the circular structure to the top floor where he guessed he would find his office. He followed the stairway to the second floor where at the top of the steps the hallway curved to the right. Soon he came upon his office and opened the door to find Gus already sitting in a chair in front of his desk. Gus turned to face David as he opened the door. “Good morning Gus.” said David.
“Good morning Xanta.”
As David walked into the room he was looking around since this was his first time to see it. There was a fireplace on the left side of the room with a Victorian loveseat in front of it and a table with a rug underneath it. There was a giant desk at the back of the room with four chairs in front of the desk where Gus was sitting. On the right side of the room was a twelve foot conference table and wooden chairs resting on top of another ornate rug.
“We can begin our meeting as Jack is over there.” pointed Gus to the loveseat.
David went and looked over the back of the loveseat to find Jack passed out asleep. David then poked him on the shoulder in an attempt to wake him up but it only made Jack roll into a different position.
Let me try said Gus pulling out a whistle from his pocket. Gus then leaned over Jack and blew the whistle as hard as he could. Jack jumped off the loveseat and hit the mantle above the fireplace knocking off figurines and plates that broke on the floor. He landed with a thud on the stone hearth. Dazed he rose to his feet, with his arms stretched out as if ready to wrestle someone.
“Jack, it’s us, wake up!” said David.
“Oh, it’s you guys, I thought it was a raid or something.” stammered Jack visibly relieved.
“Why were you sleeping in my office anyway?” asked David.
“I didn’t want to be late for our meeting this morning, so I slept here knowing you would wake me when you arrived and voila here we are on time and ready to grind!”
“Well Jack I can’t fault you for that can I?” said David sarcastically. “Ok, everybody here is our immediate task, no one knows who Xanta Claus is let alone that we provide a service at Christmas for people eleven years old and older. Our objective is to ascertain what gifts our demographic is going to request and from there we can determine what selections we will provide.”
“Hold on a second their chief. Are you telling me we will not be making toys?” asked Jack.
“Some, sure, but since our age range is eleven plus we will probably need to make a much broader selection of gifts to meet this diversity of ages.” answered David.
“What kind of crap is this? No toys, so what are we going to make?”
“That is why I called this meeting so we can establish how we are going to determine what gifts we will offer.”
“Santa never put any limit on what a kid could ask for.”
“No, but he never gave a kid a pony either did he?”
“No… I guess not.”
“And besides he’s had over 1200 years to get it right, we don’t” said David. “We have less than a year!”
“So how do we get started?”
That’s when it hit David, “We need to start collecting our client list now. Usually kids don’t start placing orders until after Halloween, but with our age range we could start collecting them now so we can evaluate what types of gifts will be requested. How can we reach out to all these people so they know about us and can place their wish? We also need a way to communicate back with them in case there is a problem with their wish, at least until we get our process worked out and know how to handle such occurrences.” continued David.
Gus spoke up “We could create our own website and YouTube video as a means to get the word out about Xanta Claus. The website could feature a client portal where they can create an account, make their gift selection and then we can collect their information directly into a database. From the database we can then analyze the data into the different categories and items our customers are requesting, simple.”
Both David and Jack looked at Gus in amazement. Jack responded first “You are a nerd elf aren’t you?”
David said as he stood up “That is very good Gus. Yes that’ll work.”
Gus just smiled at Jack.
“Xanta I recommend we hire a good PR person to create our promotional materials, artwork and related items we need for our website, YouTube video and other materials. I can do all the technical aspects but will need help with the other promotional aspects.”
“Yes we do need a PR person and I have an idea how we can find them, take me to the Client List device.”
“You two go do that and let ole Jack here know when the heavy lifting needs to be done. I don’t do the girly ass web stuff.” said Jack as he went back to the love seat and lay down.
“Jack what are you doing?”
“I am going to make sure I don’t miss our next meeting!” as he shut his eyes.
Exasperated, David threw his hands in the air and they left his office.
Gus had walked down the hallway to a room marked Client List on the outside of the door. Gus opened the door and they entered the room where in the middle was a giant snow globe with what resembled a heavy mist swirling within it. Gus turned to David and said “Ok, this is where it gets weird. This is truly some voodoo the elders created when they made the Client List device. Gus then went to the console on the side of the device and made a few selections. Place your right hand on the crystal dome here on the console.”
“Hello Xanta Claus, how may I help you?” said a women’s voice from the device startling David and Gus.
“Oh, hello, yes… I wish to do a search for a person.” said David looking around the room.
“Please say the last and first name of the person and what city they are located in.”
“Sorry it is not that kind of search. I wish to do a search by a person’s attributes instead. I am looking for a PR person we can hire.”
“Just a moment please… please enter the attributes you are searching for on the list provided.”
Xanta then examine the list displayed on the globe and started answering them.
“Gender: female of course. We are a people oriented company so kind of goes with most of that gender… at least until you marry them, ha!” he poked Gus as he said this. Gus nervously smiled back not fully comprehending its brevity. In his three hundred plus years Gus had not been out of the lab much. Seeing Gus’s reaction, David proceeded through the list.
“Qualities: intelligent, genuine, hard working, pretty.” When he keyed in the word pretty Gus frowned. Noticing the look on his face David said “What Gus, what? This is a PR person. They have to have the look for us to get the look… comprende?”
“Whatever.” replied Gus looking back at the criteria list.
“Gus this is pretty much all the qualities I have not found in those I have dated.”
“That’s a surprise.” Gus said sarcastically as he continued to look forward.
“Next is Occupation: Public Relations”
“Employment Status: available”
“Geographical Location: United States”
“Language: sorry, English is the first language at the South Pole.”
“Are you kidding? Do you understand what I am saying?” said Gus turning to face David.
“Well yes?’ David replied puzzled.
“Surprise, one of the powers you have is to hear everyone in you native language. When I speak it is translated to English for you automatically.”
“Really, wow, nobody mentioned this. I wondered how Kris could always understand the chef at the Japanese Steak House. Can I modify like the pitch of your voice with this power?” Gus just shook his head.
“Guess that would be a no. Because of cultural differences I am going to stay inside the United States anyway.”
“General Criteria: Believed in Santa when a child, probably an important reference point don’t you think?”
“Well then, can you think of anything else Gus?”
“Not really.”
“Ok then let’s spin the wheel.” and with that said he pressed the Search option. The Client List device displayed a blur of imagery within its mist as it searched. Soon it stopped and displayed a list of individual pictures as thumbnails in a list and displayed in the middle of the screen 3,015 clients selected.
“Wow, that’s a little more than I anticipated. It could take weeks just sifting through these.” David said as he thought for a moment. Then he had an idea. He selected the option to change his search criteria and modified the General Criteria: field.
“Let’s add to the criteria: Believed in Santa Claus when a child and has met Santa personally. I have been thinking our whole fairy tale enterprise would be quite a jolt to anyone but if they had personally met my brother coming out of the chimney I figure it will be much easier for them to grasp the reality of our fairy tale without having a coronary initially.”
“Hmm, that makes a lot of sense.” said Gus looking at David with a surprised expression.
David selected the Search option and the Client List device displayed a blur of imagery again as it searched. Soon it stopped and displayed a single thumbnail image of an individual in the middle of the screen, 1 client selected.
David and Gus exchanged looks of surprise “That’s more like it. Well let’s find out more about our selection.”
They started reviewing the person’s profile;
Name: Dawson, Lorie Beth
Goes by: Lorie
Age: 38
Marital Status: Divorced
Children: two, Michael Thomas Dawson - 8, Jessie Ann Dawson - 15
Location: Kearney, Mo
Occupation: Public Relations Agent and owner of Dawson Imaging.
And the profile continued.
David noticed a Shadow option “Gus what’s this option do?”
“That will virtually display the person and what they are doing at this moment, so you are in essence shadowing them.”
“Let’s take a look.”
Immediately the mist changed from the list and zoomed from a position in space to an office where there was a women sitting at a desk crying. David and Gus exchanged glances. She wasn’t bawling hysterically, just tears running down her face slowly. Someone softly knocked on the door to her office “Just a minute.” she said trying to wipe the tears away. She then took a deep breath and exhaled while sitting up straight in her chair.
“Come on in.”
“Sorry Lorie, but would you mind if I take off early, Evan has a basketball game and I need to pick him up at school first?” asked Janet her assistant peaking her head through the door she had partially opened.
“Sure, no problem.”
“Hey, you OK?”
“Yes, fine, just having one of those moments. Really, its fine.” said Lorie reassuringly.
“Call me later if you need to talk, OK?”
“I will, thank you.”
With that Janet closed the door to her office. Lorie leaned back in her chair “I don’t have the heart to tell her yet that the Wilkerson account just cancelled us. What are we going to do?” She then pulled herself to her desk and began working on her computer. On her desk were numerous photos of her children at all different ages. Other than this her office was very tidy and orderly.
Ms. Dawson has recovered now and they were able to see her for the first time, she was a striking women. She was brunette, probably five feet six inches tall and slender. David thought whoever divorced her must have been some kind of idiot.
The whole shadowing experience had set a somber mood for Gus and David. “Well I think we have found our PR person. Gus contact Ms. Dawson and setup a time we can pick her up tomorrow morning and bring her here for an interview. We’ll expose her to our operation and see where it goes from there. Tell her we will be sending transportation to pick her up.” said David. Gus nodded his head in agreement.
David had a problem with his mode of transportation and thought this was an area where his brother could help. He opened his cell phone and dialed.
“Hello David! How is it going down there?”
“Good, we are starting to get things rolling. How is it going for you?”
“Fine, in full swing for next year you know.”
“Good, hey, I have a favor to ask of you. You know I mentioned the accident with the reindeer last night. I am looking to hire a PR person to help us get the word out about our fairy tale and I was wondering if I could trouble you to have your sleigh pick her up tomorrow morning because quite frankly I am afraid if I send my team she probably will be injured, maimed or worse?”
“Sure, just send me the details and I will have it done.”
“Oh and another thing, please do not send your personal sadist Martin as the driver. I would like to make a good impression.”
Santa said laughing “Ok, no Martin. It’s not a problem anyway because you will not be the passenger. We do need to discuss your reindeer situation however. You have to use them on Christmas Eve, you have no choice. With that said I want to recommend a reindeer trainer that will whip your team into shape.”
“Sure, that would be great.”
“Good, he’s the best in the business. I just mention his name and Blitzen snaps to attention. He is an elf who lives in Scandinavia. I will contact him for you and send him your way. His name is Hiriam Gustafen.”
“Great! I really appreciate that and thanks for helping me out tomorrow.”
“Glad to do it.”
“Tell Claire hello for me.”