Caution! Pupaphobia
By H. Jason Schulz
Copyright © 2010 H. Jason Schulz
Published by H. Jason Schulz at Smashwords
Note to the reader. While this story is based on actual events, it is a work of fiction. Thanks DK!
It all started last year, on my daughter’s birthday. She wanted a battery powered, toy vacuum cleaner. You know the toy, when you pushed it, it would make a humming sound and say a few different phrases like, “Let’s get to work!” or “Time to clean house!” So we got her one.
She played with it constantly, especially after seeing an animated movie about toys that came to life after everyone was asleep. She even started talking to it - which I didn’t like by the way. I thought it was a little disturbing. She would drag the toy vacuum cleaner around everywhere; sit it on a chair next to her at dinner time and even tried to pull it into bed with her one night. I explained to her that the vacuum would be more comfortable in the closet with the other toys, and finally she agreed let it “sleep” there.
After about a week of watching my daughter treating this toy like an actual person, I felt we had to have a talk. I sat her down and explained to her that it was all right to pretend that the vacuum was alive, but really it’s not. (Here’s where it got really creepy for me.) As soon as I said that the toy was not really alive, my daughter started to say something but instead turned to look at the vacuum, as if it had interrupted her.
“Did you hear me?” I asked my daughter, who was silent, still looking at the toy as if she were listening to it. “Honey!” I said. Then she turned to me with a look of impatience.
“Daddy! It’s rude to interrupt!” She scolded.
Well, to say the least, I was taken aback. “I didn’t interrupt you.” I protested.
“No. You interrupted Rocco!” She said.
“Rocco?” I questioned. “Who’s Rocco?”
My daughter turned to the vacuum and said, “He didn’t mean to.”
“You’ve named your toy Rocco?” I asked.
“Daddy. I didn’t name him. He told me his name.” She replied. She promptly got up and pushed Rocco out of the room.
Later that evening I expressed my concerns to my wife about how our daughter had named the toy and also how she was treating the thing like it was alive. My wife dismissed it saying, “Let her pretend if she wants.” But every now and then I could swear that the thing’s eyes turned to look at me.
One night I was startled awake by the creepy vacuum toy turning on and making the vacuum sound. I looked at the clock; it was 4:00AM.
“What the heck!” I said as I flung off the covers and got out of bed.
(I have to explain that the toy had several sensors in it that allowed it to make the vacuum sound when you pushed it, and if you released the handle it would say one of its clever cleaning phrases. I know this because I called the manufacturer and spoke with one of the engineers.)
Anyway, I walked to my daughter’s room fully expecting to see her pushing it around. But instead I saw her fast asleep with “Rocco” in the middle of the room…looking at me!
I know I put that thing in the closet. I thought. I have to admit that I was totally freaked out at that point. But being the brave man that I am, I picked up a stuffed animal from off of the floor and hurled it at the demon toy…I threw three more before one connected and “Rocco” went down.
“Ha!” I quietly said, as I cautiously put the toy back into the closet and then I went back to bed.
The next morning I was awakened by my daughter who was upset that Rocco wouldn’t talk. At first I thought HA! Bye, bye creepy vacuum! But then my heart melted as she pleaded for me to fix it. I consented to change the batteries - Grudgingly it’s true, but never the less I did it, and Rocco was back to his constant staring at me with that creepy grin.
A few days later my daughter took Rocco outside and left him there when I called her in to eat lunch.
“Just leave him!” I said when my daughter tried to pull him from the wagon that he had been riding in. “You can go get him after you eat.”
She obeyed and soon we were enjoying lunch and watching the rain outside.
“Oh!” She cried. “Rocco!” Running to the back door and looking through the glass.
“Don’t go out there!” I stopped her. “I’ll go get him.” I Said. So I did, out in the rain. I rushed out and pulled the toy from the puddle of water it had been sitting in.
When I got it inside we found that it wouldn’t turn on. The lights didn’t light up, the vacuum hum didn’t work and it wouldn’t talk. This made my daughter very sad but then, as I held the toy, she again looked at the toy in silence for a moment as if it were talking.
After a moment my daughter looked at me and said, “Rocco’s mad at you for leaving him in the rain.”
“Now honey, Rocco isn’t capable of being mad. He is just a toy, But, are you mad at me?” I asked.
“Not as mad as he is.” She said and the toy made a chirping sound.
As I looked at the toy, its smile seemed to turn from cocky arrogance to vindictive plotting. I quickly put it down where it slowly created a puddle of water on the floor all the while looking at me.
The next day I started to feel bad about having left it in the rain. So while my daughter was at school, I took the toy apart and cleaned it. I replaced the batteries and reassembled the thing. I released the handle and it started to talk, but the recorded voice was really distorted. I pushed it and again, instead of a hum, it let out a deep distorted growl that sent a shiver up my spine and made me drop the handle. You are definitely out of here! I thought as I looked at the horrible toy.
I determined that I would discard this creepy toy and then go and buy her a new “Rocco.” I took the toy out and put it into the trash can by the driveway and went back inside feeling relieved to be rid of the thing.
Shortly after I disposed of the hideous toy, I was called out to work and left the house before my wife and daughter returned that day. It was almost midnight by the time I returned home. I pulled into the garage and went inside. I decided to leave the lights off so as not to wake anyone. I pulled off my shoes and carried them as I crept down the hall. I stopped to look into my daughter’s room. She was fast asleep.
Suddenly I heard a growl from down the hallway. My head snapped toward the noise as a chill spread all over my body. Terror welled up inside of me so that I was so frightened that I couldn’t scream except in my head. I saw the eyes of the toy vacuum dimly light up and then Rocco spoke in a deep distorted voice.
“Time to clean house!” The toy slowly said in a terribly distorted voice.
I’m man enough to admit that the scream that was inside my head finally made it out at full volume! But by then my fight or flight impulse kicked in. I threw my shoes at the toy vacuum cleaner knocking it over and ultimately silencing it.
This of course woke my wife and my daughter who came quickly out of their rooms. They found me leaning against the wall for support and shaking with adrenaline and pointing at the downed toy- embarrassing to say the least.
To make a long story short, this is how that toy made it back into my house. When my wife came home, my daughter saw the toy in the trash and insisted that it be brought back inside. Like I said, the toy worked but the sounds were so distorted that my daughter didn’t want to play with it and she put it in front of my room so that I could try to fix it. I, of course, was completely unaware that they had brought the toy back inside.
To them this was very funny and will be a story that will follow me forever. To me, well… I think I need therapy.
End