Shut Up, Skinny Bitches!
The Common Sense Guide to
Following Your Hunger and Your Heart
Maria Rago PhD & Greg Archer
~~~~
Shut Up, Skinny Bitches!
Maria Rago PhD & Greg Archer
Published by NorLightsPress at Smashwords
Copyright (C) 2010 by Maria Rago and Greg Archer
Ebook ISBN: -- 978-1-935254-39-3
~~~~
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each person you share it with. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then you should return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
~~~~
High Praise for “Shut Up, Skinny Bitches!”
“Stop dieting, and start living—today. This book will show you how! And I guarantee you will laugh along the way.”
—Jenni Schaefer
Author of “Life Without Ed: How One Woman Declared Independence from Her Eating Disorder and How You Can Too” and “Goodbye Ed, Hello Me: Recover from Your Eating Disorder and Fall in Love with Life”
~~~~
“The authors artfully combine compassion, confrontation, and common sense as they dispel the myths that drive so many people into eating disorders. In their honest and open dialogues, they connect readers not only to the facts, but also to the motivation to change—a refreshing approach. This book is a must-read for anyone who’s been tempted to engage in disordered eating, for those who are experiencing an eating disorder, and for those who care about them and want to help.”
—Pat Santucci, MD, FAPA, FAED,
Executive Vice President, National Association of Anorexia Nervosa and Associated Disorders (ANAD)
~~~~
“Rago and Archer in Shut Up, Skinny Bitches! eloquently look at the need to empower oneself in the fight against unhealthy dieting. They have looked at the myths and truths in the dieting culture. This book will help readers become free from the overpowering/influential diet culture.”
—Steven M. Prinz, M.D.,
Author of The Anxious Brain
~~~~
“An excellent common sense book that gets right to the heart of the matter of why so many of us suffer from body-image crisis. Shut Up, Skinny Bitches! gives readers the assurance that forcing ourselves to be unnaturally thin is not the answer to anyone’s self-esteem problems. Rago and Archer expose the mindset that you’re only worthwhile if you’re a double-size zero. They show that in the case of loving yourself, size truly doesn’t matter... This is a must-read!”
—Kristen Houghton
Author of And Then I’ll Be Happy
~~~~
Dedication
If you’ve ever starved yourself or felt ashamed of your body – this book is dedicated to you. We wish you healing, love, and peace.
To Alex and Tia Khan – creative, supportive, knowledgeable, and concerned for our world. You could never fully know my love and admiration for you. —Mom
To Cousin Chris, who never stopped believing in me, and to the close friends who’ve listened – a lot! – and whose love continues to inspire me to be a better human being. —Greg
Totus tuus.
~~~~
Chapter One: Shut Up, and Eat!
Chapter Two: Epic Fail: Dieting
Chapter Three: Follow Your Hunger
Chapter Four: The Thing About Exercise
Chapter Five: Shut Up, About Hating Your Body
Chapter Six: The Scale Is Not Your God
Chapter Seven: Who’s Managing Your Food—You or Your Emotions?
Chapter Eight: Shut Up, About Excluding Guys
Chapter Nine: Invisible to the Eye: Eating Disorders
Chapter Ten: Shut Up, And Go Do Some Service
Epilogue: Skinny Bitches Rebuttal
Introduction
Are you sick and tired of skinny bitches saying you’re too fat, you don’t fit in, and you’ll never be good enough? We are. After sifting through a smorgasbord of so-called diet and health books during our lifetime, we still find it hard to believe the underlying messages in most of these books are exactly the same: everyone needs to be thinner; losing weight cures self-hatred; and people are fat because, basically, they’re stupid.
The nerve!
Well, we know you’re hungry for something delicious to sink your teeth into. So, put down the diet soda and pick up a cupcake. We’re here to tell you the messages in most diet and health books feed into the self-destructive, fear-based attitudes prevalent in America and beyond. And they hardly deliver their promised result: that you’ll be thin, and when you are, your life will be fabulous. We offer a smart, alternative, common sense guide to following your hunger and your heart when it comes to eating well and feeling good about yourself. And you’ll find this has little to do with being thin.
Face it – over the years, that freaky diet-book orgy somehow spawned what we like to call a Skinny Bitches Mindset (SBM). Look around. It might be occupying a psyche near you. A SBM combines neurotic anxiety with a major scoop of “you’re not thin enough because you don’t eat correctly” tossed in for good measure. This restrictive way of thinking creates a scenario with no room for acceptance of who you are – no matter what size you wear. When acceptance does arrive, it’s reserved for the thinnest among us – the elite. Everyone else is … well … a loser. Thus, the SBM excludes people based on size, and it condones the notion that thin people have more value than heavier ones. This judgmental attitude fuels lack of self-esteem and acceptance of yourself and others.
Hard to digest? Hell, yes!
But make no mistake: we’re not singling out the book Skinny Bitch, the popular bestseller that quipped, “Stop being a moron and start getting skinny.” That book is just one of many bestsellers that convey messages we disagree with, and it finally forced us to stand tall and consider an alternative way of thinking about our relationship with ourselves, our bodies, and food. Our book doesn’t serve as an overall commentary on Skinny Bitch the book; we’re addressing skinny bitches at-large, those in our culture who live and breathe the SBM.(1) We’re talking back to anyone who ever suggested we’re not good enough and anyone who dares suggest you’re not good enough.
__________
(1) Though this book is not about Skinny Bitch, we do have strong opinions about the book’s superior tone. Read our thoughts in a book review found in the epilogue.
__________
Listen up: the time has come to stop thinking you have to strut your skinny ass down the street and prance around in a thong like you rule the planet. You rule the world anyway, whether you’re thin or not. It’s time to love your ass, no matter what shape it is. Time to love the asses of your sisters and brothers out there, too. You’re a lovable person, and that has nothing whatsoever to do with the size of your ass. You can feel good about what you’re eating. But first, take hold of any foul-mouthed critics, duct tape their pie holes, and join us by shouting
Shut Up, Skinny Bitches!
~~~~
Chapter One
Shut Up, and Eat!
“I’m awfully sorry for people who are taken in by all of today’s dietary mumbo jumbo. They are not getting any enjoyment out of their food.”
—Julia Child
Eat! Skinny is not the cure. Neither is being a skinny bitch. So let’s stop a moment and ponder a few things. If, like so many other folks out there who are trying to lose weight, you believe the sun will suddenly rise and shine brightly over the horizon of your skinny ass – once you make it skinny – and everything will just be divine when you’re thin, you’re bloated with a ton of misinformation. We’ll say it again: skinny is not the cure.
A diet is. But not the kind you’re thinking. The one we’re proposing doesn’t restrict eating. It doesn’t force you to go to the gym seven times a week. It won’t even make you work up a sweat – at least not physically. The only diet any of us need to go on is The Inner Critic Fast. You know what we’re talking about. We’re all so intimate with our inner crank, aren’t we? And depending on where the mood is swinging, that inner critic can tell us any number of things: We’re not good enough, we’ll never amount to anything, or worse, we’re overweight and don’t look hot. Ever!
Don’t you get enough criticism from people around you? We thought so. We really don’t need any more, especially when it comes from inside ourselves.
We can thumb through all the psych books, cull from our own inner growth and professional experience, and come up with a brainiac answer for you, but we know you may be too busy obsessing about being skinny – we forgive you, by the way – so let’s just slice some cheese and nibble away at this, shall we?
We’ve come to believe our inner critics might be more alert and out of control these days because we’re all more susceptible than ever before to the messages in society and the media. This is the 21st century after all. And with all the Tweeting, Facebooking, and celeb-obsessing we all seem to do, hasn’t it become more challenging to disengage from those subconscious messages we’re being fed? Those messages include…
Skinny people are better than fat people.
Skinny people are more popular.
Skinny people are more successful.
Skinny people have better relationships.
Skinny people are happier.
Skinny people are perfect.
Welcome to the Skinny Bitches Mindset found in numerous diet and health books. The SBM has ballooned over the last twenty years and continues its revolutionary expansion. The message is clear: to be happy or successful, you must first be thin.
Wrong!
What’s so important about being thin? Usually, health reasons are cited, but many people at a healthy weight still crave being thinner. Thin. Thin. Thin. Yawn!
We’ve learned an overweight person can improve his or her health by losing only a small amount of weight. Furthermore, underweight people can vastly improve their health by gaining weight. These facts are ignored in our thin-obsessed world. Even the medical community is affected by the SBM.
Still, our culture’s thinness worship goes way beyond the guise of health. Just take a look at those magazines at the grocery store checkout line. (We know you do.) If some celeb du jour like Angelina Jolie gains a pound, the media eats it up. (Ever wonder what the media is really hungry for? Your attention, honey – and the coins in your pocket.) The thing is, the more people worship thinness, the more they subconsciously value restraining food intake. If you want to be thinner, you have to eat less, right? The two go hand in hand, like a knife and fork.
But what’s so valuable about restricting food intake? What does this action say about you? Does it somehow make you a better person; someone who’s in control? (Maybe to SBMers but not to us.) Why do people have to be blamed and shamed when they overeat, binge-eat, or simply eat normally?
We’re here to set the record straight. Ample research indicates binge-eating is typically caused by restricting food or dieting. When people restrict food, they usually become so hungry they eat things they don’t even want, until they simply can’t stop. In fact, numerous studies illustrate that dieting predicts weight gain. (In research terms, prediction means causes.) Get it? The well-intentioned, compliant society member – that would be you – wishes to be accepted and loved, so she/he tries to please by restricting food. And how are you rewarded for your suffering? You binge-eat because you’re hungry, and then YOU GAIN WEIGHT. Now, there’s the rub.
And what’s this? You also get to experience the shame and emotional pain of overeating, which is almost a cardinal sin. Excellent – now you’ll never be good enough. You’ll never be good like those skinny bitches. But you’ll try again tomorrow. You say, “Yes, I’m a loser today, but I’ll do better tomorrow.” Guess what? You’ve bought into society’s values so well that you can’t even hear your own voice any more. That bitchy inner critic living inside the SBM is the only voice you hear.
Hello – where are you? Where’s your voice? WAKE UP! Listen to it.
Your inner voice is trying to scream, “I’m hungry!” But the inner critic on the SBM network says, “That’s why you’re a loser. If you eat, you’ll gain weight. If you gain weight, you’re not acceptable, stupid!”
True or False? If you’re overweight, you just need to stop eating so much. If you consumed less fat, fewer carbs, and fewer calories, you’d finally be healthy, thin, and fit in.
False! Surprise. Study after study reveals this belief is not true. Yet it seems like common sense, right? Eat less, lose weight, be beautiful, everything’s fine.
Changing people’s minds about this belief isn’t easy. That’s why it’s imperative you listen to your own voice. Begin by repeatedly telling yourself you’re strong enough to hop off this mental merry-go-round. Consider for a moment how much valuable time you waste by focusing on, “Oh, no, my stomach is too big. I’m fat!”
Ah, but you’re not alone. Many of us experience this. Over the years, we’ve heard dozens of stories from people who struggle with these issues – Maria from her eating disorder patients; Greg from the many fitness students he has instructed.
Diane, a fifty-three-year-old nurse and proud grandmother re-covering from an eating disorder, believed – as many of us often do – that she had to be thinner to fit in or be loved. She candidly shares with us…
I was always aware of body image and fatness, and I always knew that being fat, stout, pudgy, roly-poly, and such were bad things. I heard “skinny and cute” in my preschool years and knew that didn’t apply to me. I remember baby fat being mentioned. My father always told me I was chubby from the youngest age. But my dad wasn’t fed much at home in his childhood, so any type of cooking was a treat to him, and he ate heartily whenever I dined with him. But in every breath between bites he told me and my sister how fat we were – or chubby – and that I ate too many pies and cookies. He truly never let up. Not a single stranger, mostly women, could pass by without a comment regarding weight, size, ugliness, or beauty. I lived with this throughout my adolescence, like the oxygen I breathed. But it was carbon monoxide to my psyche.
Dieting doesn’t work, but this fact doesn’t matter to most people. We keep trying again and again because we’ve lost control over our own decision-making. The culture tells us, “It’s not the diet that’s wrong, it’s your hunger – you just shouldn’t be so hungry.” Do you see the white elephant standing in the living room of this insanity? The true message is, “Hunger is for losers.” The implication is that if you just try harder, you’ll finally succeed. People spend a lifetime battling hunger – and losing. Worse, they’re always made to feel like terrible failures.
Can you relate? Are you caught up in an endless cycle of trying to restrict food and then beating yourself up as if every decision you make is wrong? Have you lost yourself because you’re ruled by the SBM?
This question is key. How much time each day do you spend thinking about eating and your body image? Go ahead – think about it. Consider how that brainpower could be better used. If we all used every bit of our energy to be thin, how would we ever accomplish world peace? And there’s so much more beyond war. We have energy issues to deal with and oil spills to clean up. Not to mention, millions of people on the planet don’t even have enough food. Yet we’re programmed to drain all our energy making sure our damn thighs don’t touch.
Here’s the thing: when you don’t eat, you become pale, sunken, hungry, and ... well ... downright bitchy. People starve themselves so the skinny bitches of the world will accept them. Why are we so willing to conform, no matter what the cost?
Get this: being skinny does not cure self-hatred. (Skinny is not the cure, remember?) Actually, you can starve to death and be quite bitchy before you die. You’d get bitchier with each passing day. You would probably die from dehydration before starvation, which is how it happens. Yes, you can be a skinny dead bitch before you know it.
How do you stop bitching and start eating? Everything in moderation, baby. Yeah, it’s that simple. (And we thank Ben Franklin for coining the phrase.) Begin to notice your thought patterns. (Yikes, right?) Relax. Just notice when that inner critic is making a mad dash toward a bunch of lies. (Remember lies sound like this: “I’m not good enough!” “I’m fat and ugly!” I’m worthless!” “There’s something wrong with me!” “I can never change!”)
Noticing these things will give you a sense of detachment – hopefully loving detachment. The very act of noticing creates the possibility for something else, some other thought or truth, to make itself known. Noticing your thoughts gives you an opportunity to make a choice. Think of it as a fork in the road (or the cheesecake). Noticing what you’re thinking and simply questioning its validity will help you stop obsessing over every detail of what you’re eating. You can begin to get in touch with your body again, because – and here’s the great news – you were born knowing when you’re hungry and when you’re full. You don’t need to hear about it from skinny bitches. You don’t need to dwell on it. You simply need to be reminded of your spectacular nature. You need to remember what foods you liked before you started dieting, over-thinking, and picking apart every aspect of your body and eating regime.
One of the best things you can do: don’t adhere to a list of good foods and bad foods. Make your own damn list and write down the foods you enjoy. But take note, eat those foods in moderation. Eat when you’re hungry. Stop when you’re full. (Boy, is it that simple? Yep.) It might be cool to add physical activity to the mix. Stir all this together and you may not be a skinny bitch, but you might actually enjoy your day for once. And, if the outcome is that you’re thinner, good for you. But remember, skinny is not the cure.
Shut Up, About Being Skinny!
You were born knowing when you’re hungry and when you’re full. You don’t need to be chastised about it by skinny bitches.
~~~~
Chapter Two
Epic Fail: Dieting
“Insanity is doing the same thing over and over again and expecting different results.”
—Albert Einstein
Dieting? We have three words for you. Get over it.
“But there’s no other way for me to lose the weight I want to lose if I don’t restrict some of my eating,” you say. Or, “Gosh, my cousin’s wedding is coming up, she’s forcing me to wear that tight crimson gown for the bridal party, and if I don’t drop, like, fifteen pounds real quick, then honey – I’m gonna look like one big fat tomato!”
Three more words. Diets don’t work.
Here’s the funny part. You already know this. In fact, we all know diets aren’t effective. Not for the long haul, anyway. You might see temporary weight loss results, but inevitably, almost every dieter gains back the weight they lose, sometimes more. (Oprah, Kirstie, care to chime in?) In fact, in 2007 American Psychologist reported that an analysis of thirty-one studies of weight loss showed dieters initially lost 5 to 10 percent of their starting weight. But two years later, at least 83 percent gained back more weight than they originally lost. They would have been better off had they not dieted at all.
Have you noticed chronic dieters, and otherwise erratic or restrictive eaters, are some of the most frustrated, depressed people you meet? They’re always fighting themselves and their body’s natural cravings. The emotional war with their bodies drains them of precious life energy. They seem forever lost and unhappy.
Are you a chronic dieter? No way! Everyone knows diets fail, right? You’re just making a “lifestyle change,” – the new lingo people use when they talk about dieting. The problem with that kind of lifestyle change is that it comes with a built-in implication: you’re never supposed to get off your damn diet.
Trust us, the more rigid, restrictive, and guilt-ridden your “lifestyle change,” the more it’s a DIET. If you can relate to any of the following statements, you could be a chronic dieter.
1. I constantly worry about what I’ve eaten, am eating, or will eat.
2. I try to always make low-fat, low-carb, low-calorie choices.
3. I beat myself up when I don’t make low-fat, low-carb, low-calorie choices.
4. Eating certain snacks, sweets, or foods makes me nervous. I make sure to make up for it later by restricting my food or exercising.
If you answered yes to any of the above statements, then good for you. You’re honest. But listen to us: this book promotes eating. Healthy eating. (And yes, sometimes eating a cookie is the healthy thing to do.) The sooner we can all truly embrace the idea that it’s okay to eat and actually eat regularly, then we can experience more peace and harmony in our lives. But don’t freak out! We understand there’s resistance to the idea of eating regularly. After all, nearly everywhere we look today, we find messages insisting there’s something bad about food; that we should restrict our food consumption in some fashion and, of course, embark on any number of dieting escapades.
Just-juice diet, anyone? How about that grapefruit and watermelon diet? High-protein? Low-carbs?
How long has anyone lasted on any of these “miracle” weight loss plans or trendy “lifestyle changes?”
Don’t diet. Eat!
We don’t encourage you to make a glutton of yourself. We like you. We wouldn’t do that. Don’t be foolish. We don’t condone eating entire gallons of Baskin Robbins ice cream every day or a box of donuts three times a week. We’re simply pointing out that many foods, including snacks, taste so damn good that they’re soothing for the soul. Shut up and consume some of these foods. It’s okay. We promise.
Kim, a forty-six-year-old comic, playwright, mother, and wife living in Northern California, tells us…
I’ve been aware of my looks and my body from a very young age, not because I was blessed with “all that,” but because I took hours of dance class from age five up, where I spent every afternoon in front of full-length mirrors. Add to that my involvement in theater, and I brewed the perfect concoction of vanity and self-doubt, constantly comparing myself and my physical appearance to other girls and women, usually falling short, yet forcing myself to try and fit an unattainable mold.
Like many women, I was a successful yo-yo dieter in my twenties, losing and gaining enormous amounts of weight according to my social or performing schedule. In my thirties I had kids. Lots of them. In my forties I convinced myself to reclaim some athletic sense of myself and became deeply involved in an active, full-contact sport. My body built muscle, stamina, and endurance, but remained a size I didn’t recognize as the ideal from childhood. My scale was steadily reading 200 pounds, which at 5’8” and by Hollywood standards was interplanetary in my twisted mind.
I visited a pair of professional trainers to assess my situation and horsewhip me into a shape I had preconceived notions of becoming. After an hour and a half of weighing, measuring, testing, and whatnot, their final evaluation of my fitness and goals threw me for an emotional loop that took days to grasp. My ideal weight is 170-180 pounds. I’ve never heard any woman utter this sentence, so I had to examine the facts. I am 46. I am sporadically athletic. I am strong. I am healthy. I am just about okay, and can choose to keep or lose twenty pounds. I can relax for the first time in my life and embrace the size 14.
The Health Police
Let’s face it, skinny bitches sit in their popularity castles and try to rule the world by sticking their bony derrieres out for all mankind to see. And the more we’re flooded with those images, plus messages from mass media suggesting we simply must be thin to thrive in life, the more we believe we want what those skinny bitches are feeding us.
Maybe you had a little fight left in you. You know, to fend off the rejection and humiliation from the Skinny Bitches Mindset (SBM). Perhaps you were just about to conjure up the courage to say, “I am beautiful for who I am. I don’t have to hate myself or others just because we don’t measure up to a certain standard of beauty.” But then the Health Police arrived, telling you, “Those skinny bitches are right! You aren’t acceptable the way you are. You are too fat! And it’s all because you don’t eat correctly! AND BY THE WAY – YOU’RE GONNA DIE!”
Oh, the health police love to make us feel guilty about enjoying a nice snack. “Miss, put down the Cheetos and slowly step away from the kitchen counter.” Good Lord! If you’re found eating potato chips or cheesecake, an army of skinny bitches – plus a legion of parents, doctors, neighbors, gym teachers, politicians, and news reporters – move in for the kill. They’re quick to point out you’re breaking some kind of law if you dare enjoy “unhealthy” food. Their main argument? Eating low-fat and low-calorie foods is always the best way to go. But is it?
No.
Research indicates that following a low-fat diet does not nec-essarily improve your health nor does it automatically create weight loss. Few know about this because most people believe low-fat always improves our health. Research to the contrary is ignored.
In 2006 a study of more than 48,000 women conducted by The Women’s Health Initiative found that following a low-fat diet did not decrease the risk of heart attack, stroke, colon cancer, or breast cancer. Despite research showing that low-fat eating is an epic failure, the health police never bothered to share that information. In fact, David Kritchevsky, former professor of Philadelphia’s Wistar Institute and an enigmatic contributor to the nation’s debate on nutrition and health for nearly sixty years before his death in 2006, once noted that, “In America, we no longer fear God, or the communists, but we fear fat.”
How true that is.
Revered journalist and author, Gary Taubes, wrote the 2007 page-turner Good Calories, Bad Calories: Challenging the Conventional Wisdom on Diet, Weight Control, and Disease. In a 2001 article in the journal Science, he wrote that political, social, and cultural processes actually shaped our intense fear of fat—not science. Science, he noted, hasn’t determined if reduced dietary intake of fat improves our health. In fact, limiting fat may even be detrimental to our health.
Hello! Your beautifully robust brain is 60 percent fat, mostly to insulate your neurons. Severely changing fat consumption could impact membrane permeability in all the cells of your body, potentially impacting cellular processing of bacteria and viruses, plus all other cellular functions. Talk about mind-bending.
The possible negative effects of severely decreased dietary fat intake have not been studied. (What? No funding?) There’s more interest, it seems, in health studies with one primary agenda – to prove eating fat is downright bad for us. (Which by the way, has never been proven.) Today, millions of people kick their own asses to eliminate fat from their diets. Worse, children are tortured about the foods they eat. Imagine a first-grader reading food labels. Why are third graders saying, “My teacher says we aren’t allowed to eat that snack because it’s unhealthy.”
Sounds like adolescent boot camp for obsessive behavior.
There’s no evidence that children must limit their dietary fat intake to be healthy. Couldn’t this actually be unhealthy for them? Growing children may need fat intake even more than adults, and we don’t understand the possible consequences of restricting fats and calories in children. Children require fat and calories so their bodies can grow in healthy ways. And don’t fool yourself – they also need some fat intake for their emotional health. The health police and other skinny bitches come down hard on these kids, leaving them with the negative message: Something’s wrong with them because they enjoy the food they love and crave. These messages are ingrained at an early age. No wonder we all have so many issues with food. We’ve even met adults who’ve never tasted a banana split because it’s bad for them.
Pass them the hot fudge – pronto!
The participants cited earlier in the Women’s Health Initiative study – the one indicating eating low-fat failed to provide any health benefit – pushed themselves to consume only 20 percent of their calories from fat. Through the first year of the study, the lower fat eaters weighed about five pounds less than the others. But after seven years of this “near draconian” regime – we’re talking about women who constantly pushed themselves to restrict fat intake – the difference between women who avoided fat and ladies who consumed food normally equaled less than one pound.
Our heartfelt condolences to the poor women who restricted fat intake for seven years – they must have felt like crap. That’s a great deal of sacrifice for one lousy pound and no health improvement.
You know what we call this? A waste of valuable time and energy.
Women are constantly told to reduce fat and slim down for another reason: breast cancer. But Harvard researcher Karin Michels found women who were overweight or obese at age eighteen had a 43 percent less chance of developing breast cancer than women in lower weight categories. Yes, those who weighed more were less susceptible to breast cancer. You don’t hear your doctor pressuring you to gain weight early on so you don’t get breast cancer, do you? The SBM is clear: “Eating fat and being fat is bad.” Any research to the contrary goes right out the window.
If restricting fats doesn’t help you lose weight, live longer, avoid cancer, or prevent heart attacks, why do we allow ourselves to be spoon-fed this garbage? To the health police and other skinny bitches near and far, we say, “Shut up about making us feel guilty every time we enjoy foods that are high in fat!” Promoting the myth that fat is bad is not intelligent. This is not a research finding, it’s a cultural catastrophe. Gary Taubes wonderfully summed it up in his 2001 Science article: “Fifty years and hundreds of millions of dollars of research have failed to prove that low-fat diets will help you live longer.”
Carb Central
If low-fat isn’t the answer, then it has to be low-carb, right? But the Women’s Health Initiative also studied the effects of a high-carbohydrate, low-fat eating pattern. The result? Eating high-carb didn’t increase body weight, triglycerides, or other heart disease indicators, nor did it lead to increased risk of diabetes through blood glucose or insulin levels in women.
(Yes, we’ll happily butter our bread, thank you.)
We know this may be counterintuitive to everything you were raised to believe in your home, at the doctor’s office, or in health class. And some parents, teachers, and health-care providers may shoot back with, “Well, if the research has failed to prove in all these years that eating low-fat/low-carb is the best thing for you, then we just need to do more research so we can prove it.”
Our society may be slow to catch up with the research, but you don’t have to be. Take note of the sources listed in the back of this book and dive into your own research. Even if eating a low-fat, low-carb, and low-calorie diet was good for you, we found more proof that dieting is one of the biggest failures around.
Some of the most intriguing findings revolve around teens, such as the 2007 Project EAT-II (Eat Among Teens) study and a 2003 report in Pediatrics.(2) These studies use a cool research method called a longitudinal design. This kind of research is long-term and follows people over time. When researchers study the same people over time, they discover the actual causes of behavior.
___________
(2) Most of the studies we cite in this book are longitudinal, because this type of research can actually prove causation. If you’ve taken a course in statistics, then you know correlation does not prove causation.
___________
These studies researched thousands of dieting teens and preteens, and the discoveries were sobering. One group of children weighed themselves frequently, worried about their weight, and forced themselves to eat less. Across a five-year time span, this group of teens actually gained more weight than other teens. Yes, dieting actually caused weight gain. Poor kids. They were trying so hard to lose weight and be thin. We live in a world that promotes low-fat, low-calorie, and low-carb, remember? Dieting is encouraged. No one really thinks teens should diet. But they do think overweight teens should make “lifestyle changes” and “watch what they eat.” You know, like going on a diet, but never getting off of it, which is exactly what these teens are trying to do. That’s the clear message they receive. But are those kids actually enjoying their lives? Are they happy?
No, the studies show they wasted their time dieting, because they thought they shouldn’t eat “bad” foods. They were ashamed of their bodies, their eating, and themselves.
At the five-year follow up, the teens in this study gained fifteen more pounds than the non-dieters. Perhaps a well-meaning doctor or parent told them they were too fat; they needed to lose weight for their health. But that advice obviously did more harm than good, judging from the outcome. Everyone is on the bandwagon to “identify the overweight child.” Why? So he or she can try to restrict his calories, fats, and carbohydrates? What will be the outcome? Restrictive and erratic eating CAUSES WEIGHT GAIN. It actually slows down body functions, including metabolism.
How could such well-intentioned plans go awry? Simple. Dieters become entirely too hungry to control their eating, and over time they travel into the land of binge-eating. Denying themselves pleasurable foods, even in moderation, seems to awaken an inner rebel. Dieters miss forbidden foods so much – perhaps foods their teachers, doctors, or parents told them they just shouldn’t eat – that they eventually go overboard with those forbidden foods. And then SHAME arrives on the doorstep. “You shouldn’t have eaten so much!” it scolds, or “What’s wrong with you?” The dieter may even hear these statements from a friend or family member. Either way, they’re left with an overwhelming feeling of humiliation and failure, locked in a world where they feel fat – and totally responsible for it. They just can’t seem to get it right.
But don’t you see? The dieter didn’t fail. It’s the entire dieting mentality (Okay, fine – lifestyle change mentality). Thinking you’ll be thin by cutting back on calories, carbs, and fats is a set-up for failure.
Why do weight trackers gain the most weight? Maybe they are the ones who don’t eat their breakfast. We know people who eat breakfast are more likely to control their weight than people who don’t. But who’s likely to skip breakfast? Dieters struggling to lose weight. Gee, we were all told if we eat less, it’s better, right? Perhaps skipping breakfast makes dieters feel they’re doing the proper thing for weight control. After all, they notice their stomachs become flatter and suddenly they feel more in control – thinner – as if they’ve earned a gold star on their diets. But still, those who skip breakfast wind up weighing more than those who chow down.
We say: Eat your breakfast! It’s the best way to manage your weight, and besides that, breakfast provides the energy you need at the beginning of your day.
Here’s another major reason dieting causes weight gain: no food = no energy.
Dieting teens in the Project EAT-II study had decreased physical activity by the time of the five-year follow up. The effect was even stronger for dieting boys, who typically require even more calories than girls do during adolescence.
Hello! Our bodies require food for energy, just as a car needs gas. Have you ever run out of gas? Your car just sits there. You can yell at it and get angry, but without gas it isn’t going to budge. Food is fuel for the body. Shut up, and fuel yourself! The teens in the study were so hungry they didn’t have enough energy to move around and exercise.
Pressure from society to cut back on food has created a troubling ripple effect. Millions of people, especially vulnerable children and teens still developing their physical bodies, and their identities, have been robbed of both nutrition and self-esteem.
Dieting is an epic FAIL.
Food for Thought
Being too thin can be dangerous to your health. Everybody seems to agree that being overweight may be a major health risk, but several studies – including one published in 2006 in the New England Journal of Medicine – point out that being underweight can also shorten your life span. Somehow the part about underweight people being unhealthy never generated buzz.
The health police always want us to lose more weight. (More, more, more!) While many medical experts continue to cram the thinness ideal down our throats, some smart cookies, like the American Diabetes Association, actually pass along the truth – which shows an overweight person needs to lose only 5 to 10 percent of their total body weight to dramatically improve their health. Most people are told they can always improve their health by becoming as thin as they can – “you can never be too thin,” right? – but this is unnecessary.
Seriously?
It’s true.
In 1999, the New England Journal of Medicine suggested, “… for seriously overweight persons, the range of healthy weights is often practically unachievable. However, reductions of even 4 to 10 percent of weight can substantially improve blood pressure, serum lipid levels, and glucose tolerance and can reduce the incidence of diabetes and hypertension.”
Don’t you think it’s time to stop setting your weight goals so high? (Make that low.) Unattainable goals set you up for failure. If health reasons are the real motivation behind your desire to hit that weight goal, then understand you don’t need to reach the thinnest possible weight range to have terrific health benefits. So, chill out and change your lifestyle – just a bit – by not dieting. You’ll then be able to stop binge-eating and gradually increase your activity levels. You’ll naturally drop a few pounds and drop a huge load from your psyche. You’ll stop hating yourself and not constantly feel like a failure. After you succeed with your new goals of eating well, not bingeing, and increasing your activity level, then when someone advises you to lose even more weight, feel free to tell them, “SHUT UP and BACK OFF.”
A great deal of evidence indicates a sedentary lifestyle may be the real contributor to health statistics. Many researchers who conclude that excess weight leads to health issues haven’t included fitness levels in their studies. However, several studies show exercise level is a strong, independent predictor of health indicators such as heart disease and cancer. Take the 1999 Aerobic Center Longitudinal study, which concluded, “Low fitness level was an independent predictor of mortality in overweight, obese, and normal weight men.”
This is good news, because it reminds us we can do something fun; something we can control, to take care of our health.
The Power of Love
Fat phobia reigns supreme. You can find evidence of this in almost any magazine or on most TV talk shows. Just look at the headlines that sport the same messages: “Watch what you eat!” “Cut back on carbs!” “Eat low-fat!” We are constantly inundated with the belief that we need to be thin to be healthy. It dominates our attention so much we’ve overlooked astounding research revealing the best ingredient for glowing health: Happiness.
But no one cares if you’re happy, right? Just don’t be fat.
In 2010, Columbia University Medical Center reported that people with positive affect – viewing the glass half full instead of half empty – had significantly less risk of heart disease across a ten-year longitudinal study. Joy, happiness, excitement, enthusiasm, and contentment have a protective effect on heart disease. This effect was so powerful that even when people went through a period of depression, it had no impact on their overall health. They still maintained an underlying positive attitude and benefited from its protection against heart disease. Simply put, happier people are healthier, and they live longer than others.
All of this made us think. Why do physicians insist on harping about our weight instead of encouraging us to be happy, or even improve our love lives?
Psychological factors greatly impact heart disease – those who will die from it versus those who recover. Depression, anxiety, hopelessness, hostility, and anger have all been linked to higher cardiac mortality rates, making death 1.5 to 2.5 times more likely for people with these specific emotional difficulties. If you’re lonely, have significant family conflict, or don’t get enough emotional support, this severely increases your risk of heart disease and stroke. But maybe it’s just easier to restrict the fats you eat? Shut up about that. If you care about your health, you can’t ignore the emotional areas in your life. Face it. You may have to do some emotional digging and uncover core issues that are holding you back and keeping you stuck.
Bottom line: we all need love, fulfillment, and happiness.
Are you bitter? Can’t forgive? Holding a grudge? Let it go. Or is it just easier to cut back on carbs? Anger and hostility play a vital role in heart disease. We’re told to “let go and forgive.” True, it may not be easy at times, but when you take a hard look at any resentments you’re holding on to, and then become open to working through and releasing them, you actually feed yourself a powerful nutrient.
There’s more. We found two other factors linking emotions to heart disease. The first revolves around people who feel they have little or no control at work. These folks have a greater risk for heart disease and death. The second focuses on women who are caregivers – that is, women who care for their children twenty-one hours a week or more, or their grandchildren, or an ill spouse for nine hours a week or more. These women have double the risk for heart disease compared to women without caregiving responsibilities.
If you feel you have little control over your job, examine your situation and consider other options. And to all you caregiving women (and men) out there, let’s get you some support. How about more help at home so you can get your workouts in? It’s vital to create time each day to check in and take care of yourself. Your life may depend on it.
Shut Up, and Make Love
If you truly want to cut your chances of heart disease, you’ll love the 2010 American Journal of Cardiology report about a sixteen-year study that discovered men (ages forty to seventy) who had sex twice a week or more reduced their risk of heart attack by 50 percent. The physical and emotional effects of sex protect our heart health. The analysis took into account other risk factors such as age, weight, blood pressure, and cholesterol levels. Nice. And making love has also been known to reduce prostate cancer, boost the immune system, and reduce the chances of catching colds and flu. Don’t you love it?
Hidden Morsels
We were worried that fat-phobic America wouldn’t hear about the cool 2006 Swedish research concerning weight and heart disease, so we’re serving it up here.
One study looked at twelve thousand people who suffered a heart attack. Those who lost weight afterward had a lower survival rate. And those who gained weight were, as one researcher noted, “none the worse for it, even if they were overweight from the start.” Research director Ronnie Willenheimer reported, “European re-commendations state that overweight patients after myocardial infarction (heart attack) should be recommended to lose weight. But the recommendations are not based on any studies, because our study is, in fact, the first in the field. And it unfortunately indicates that medical science may have shortened the lives of number of overweight patients with myocardial infarction by persuading them to diet.”
He also states that weight loss after a heart attack “should not be viewed as a welcome joy. It may mean the patient is sicker than previously thought.”
The second Swedish study looked at fifty thousand people in an attempt to see if obesity was a risk factor for heart disease. The research concluded that obesity, without other risk factors, didn’t create a higher risk for a heart attack. Sixteen percent of obese people didn’t smoke, have diabetes, high blood pressure, or high blood lipids. Obesity by itself, without these other risk factors, didn’t increase the risk for heart attack. The study found obesity increased the risk of heart attack only for single men who lived alone and were self-employed or working class.
Does your heart doctor tell you to lose weight? According to this study, your physician should be advising you to find a roommate and get a new job. Our recommendations: rather than trying to starve yourself healthy, try dating, or set up a cool job interview. Shut up, and live a little!
Yes, the best alternative to dieting is happiness. The best thing you can do is get happy. Now is good. You can start by not bitching. Think about it; how much progress can you make in moving any part of your life forward when you’re constantly harping on yourself and others?
Putting It All Together
Since super low-fat/low-calorie/low-carb isn’t the way to go, what is the recipe for success?
First, let’s try increasing our intake of fresh fruits and vegetables. That always works. This is healthy, easy, and worth your investment. Receiving a good balance of all food groups is vital for overall health. [See Chapter Three.] A great deal of evidence demonstrates getting enough sleep is strongly related to your good health, and also ties into weight maintenance. If we can lose weight in our sleep, we’re all for it. Finally, physical exercise is the undisputed king of good health (as long as you take care of your body with enough food from all of the food groups).
Think of it as a recipe. Take eating from all food groups, especially the neglected fruits and veggies, mix that with getting enough sleep and a reasonable amount of vigorous, enjoyable exercise, and you’ll be sure to experience great success. All of this works together without diminishing your self-esteem or making you feel like a failure.
Embrace this: You are responsible for the events and conditions you bring into your life. It’s that simple. You can either force-feed the SBM – a mindset that only lets you feel good about yourself when you starve and are skinny – or you can open the refrigerator door of life and enjoy the smorgasbord. Do the latter more often and, surprise! You won’t be a bitch.
Whenever we’re caught up with dieting, equating being skinny with success, and watching what we eat for fear we’ll be fat and unhealthy, we overlook something obvious when it comes to the most vital muscle we have to nourish: our hearts.
The lesson? Make progress toward creating that positive affect. And don’t diet! Look at it this way: remember all the energy it took to actually go on a diet and stay on a diet? Marvel at yourself for a moment. If you actually had enough energy to do that, all for the sake of good health, then certainly you have the energy to direct your attention to something more substantial. Take all the life force you used to avoid eating everything from an extra Saltine to a teaspoon of salad dressing, and channel that energy into enjoying and appreciating all the good things in your life. Let the skinny bitches enjoy their non-fat tofu chai lattes. Instead, go ahead, dip your hand into the cookie jar of life – and love yourself for doing so.