Working from the Heart
A Way of Life
by Larry D. Braley & Ray D. Gragg
© 2007 Larry D. Braley & Ray D. Gragg
Published by Larry D. Braley & Ray D. Gragg at Smashwords
“Working from the Heart – A Way of Life” is just one of many books on the “art” of managing from Manager Development Services.
At Manager Development Services, we do one thing and one thing only; we specialize in training managers in the “art” of managing people. Visit us at: www.managerdevelopment.net
WARNING!!!
This book is not for the CEO. It is not for the Managers of the company. This book is for the Employee.
The Employee is charged with carrying out the direction of the CEO and the manager. When it comes right down to it, it’s the employees of the company which determine how successful the company is at producing long-term sustainable results.
For people looking for procedures – take a class. For people looking to understand spreadsheets and bottom-line number crunching – take another class.
For people looking for an efficient and effective method of manipulating people – get in another line of work.
But if you are willing to grow as a human being, reach your full potential, attain personal and professional success, and “wrap your brain” around new and unusual concepts – this book is for you.
Outline of Chapters
Seven Historical Managerial Types
Nine Historical Employee Types
The Four Pillars
Logistical vs. Transformative
Pillar I – Purpose
1 A Person without Purpose is Lost
Definition of Customer
Who is your Customer?
Needs and expectations of my Customer
How do I best serve my Customer?
3 Discovering Your Inner Power
4 Increasing Human Understanding
The Employee as Human Being
The Employee as Mentor
The Employee as Instructor
The Employee as Counselor
Pillar II – Passion
Emotional Maturity
Self-defeating Behaviors
Inspiring People
Career-Mindedness vs. Job-Mindedness
Defining Success Factors
CORE Competencies
Creating Raving Fans
Putting the “I” in TEAM!!!
Pillar III – Process
What is Open Heaven
Putting the “I” in TEAM
Bonding with each Individual
Developing Healthy Relationships
Communication the most Important Tool
12 Setting and Maintaining Standards
No Kingdoms / No Territories
Anarchists – Recognizing Saboteurs
Setting and maintaining Standards
13 Goals, Mediocrity, & Freedom
Setting and Monitoring Goals
Attitudes that Lead to Mediocrity
Burnout
Freedom of Responsibility
Time Management
Pillar IV – Power
The Power of Choice
The Power of Observation
The Power of Open Heaven
The Power of Responsibility
Table of Stories
Table of Concepts
List of Tools
******
Preface
The goal of this book is to introduce a new “work ethic” philosophy which will propel an individual to excellence.
If you are reading this book, you have probably been told to read it by your manager and your manager has probably begun practicing a radical new philosophy of managing. This new philosophy, “Managing from the Heart,” is designed to teach managers how to engineer a work environment in which employees are provided the opportunity to acquire the necessary tools, interaction, and instruction which will propel the employee to success. If you are fortunate enough to work for a manager who “Manages from the Heart,” you will be assisted, instructed, mentored, and counseled through a process which will nurture growth toward unrealized potential.
This book is written for you, the employee, and is designed to create the awareness and understanding necessary to take full advantage of this environment opportunity. The employee who embraces this philosophy will begin a journey of growth in which they will develop “personal power,” allowing the individual to succeed at whatever they attempt.
By working in conjunction with their manager and coworkers, this employee will discover that their success, their coworker’s success, the success of their manager, the success of their department, and the success of the business for which they work are all interconnected – when one succeeds the other succeeds; when one stumbles, the other bleeds. The employee will learn how to grow individuality while, at the same time, sharing allegiance to something bigger than himself.
Right about now, you’re probably thinking, “What a crock of...” And I don’t blame you. As I said, this is a radical new philosophy and it is radical because it is contrary to what traditional business practice has always been. All I ask is for you to keep an open mind until you hear me out. If you then decide this is all crap then forget it and move on with your life. At least you will have fulfilled your boss’s requirement.
But what if I am right?
What’s the difference between a job you have to go to every day and a career which becomes a passion? The answer is simple – You. You make the difference whether your life is a task which has to be gotten through or an adventure which gets to be lived.
Everyone wants to be successful, but few know how to get there. The trick to being successful is in knowing what employers expect, need, and want. Accomplish what an employer expects of you and you get a paycheck. Fill an employer’s needs and you’ll be recognized. Supply an employer’s wants and you’ll shoot up the ladder.
This book examines what employers expect, need, and want in an employee. More importantly, this book explains a Process in which an employee can develop a personal philosophy which will lead him or her to excellence and supply any employer’s wants no matter where they work.
In other words, I want to work with, not against, my employer while gaining experience, talents, and tools which I will carry with me and use my whole life.
The reality of life is,
a majority of a person’s waking hours are spent at work
most people define themselves by what they do
what a person does for a living will greatly influence their standard of living
Since the work a person does largely dictates the quality of his or her existence, it only makes sense to adopt a philosophy that will propel one to excellence. The philosophy explained in this book is a philosophy in which power is recognized and reclaimed by an individual – power which is often given away. Another reality of life is, unless you are independently wealthy, you’re going to have to work anyway – so why not be successful at whatever you decide to do?
The Basic Principles
The philosophy in Working From the Heart is anchored by four pillars which lay the foundation of principles inherent in this book. To understand the Four Pillars one must be willing to “wrap” their brain around new and unusual concepts. As you read through this book please note the concepts.
(concept #1)
Purpose + Passion + Process = Power
Each of these four pillars is a bridge to the other and a bridge in total, closing the gap of where things really are and where things should be.
All an individual needs to succeed is to have Purpose and Passion. With purpose and passion comes the ability to tap into an inner power which propels one to accomplish unimaginable goals. But how does one define Purpose and develop Passion?
Unfortunately, “Managing from the Heart” is a new and radical philosophy which challenges every traditional concept and practice. Many managers have not yet had the opportunity to consider this new philosophy. Some who have had the opportunity fear anything new – they fear change – which keeps them indentured to mediocrity.
Let’s look at some common management styles and the problems they create:
The Drill Sergeant: managing through intimidation. This manager rides the back of his staff; barking his orders, running his drills – micromanaging and constantly criticizing. This manager needs to be in constant control of his staff and his staff must wait for orders before initiating action. His staff does work, but grudgingly. They develop resentment towards him and take pleasure when he stumbles or fails. When he is not around, employees take advantage and slack off.
Attila: managing through consequences. This manager doles out punishment for infractions or for not measuring up to his rules or expectations. Punishment is swift and hard as if the punishment itself will deter an employee from making a mistake. Quick to find fault, he is unopposed “Lord” of his domain. Always under his thumb, staff often cuts corners, does just enough to get by, and again developing resentment, look for ways to supplant him or get even.
Psycho-boss: managing through mind games. By keeping his staff confused and in fear, this manager attempts to use psychology to keep employees wondering where they stand, how they’re performing, and if they are “in trouble.” This manager gives only enough information to each employee for the employee to minimally do what is asked of him and chastises the employee for not achieving. This is “crazy-making” for staff. They live confused and in fear of losing their jobs, creating enough stress for the employee to eventually go on disability or go “postal.”
Psycho – Drill Sergeant: managing through mind games and intimidation. This combination of the two styles, causes undo stress and confusion, pits employee against employee, and creates an atmosphere of squabbling, backbiting, and chaos, resulting in absenteeism and stress leave.
The Butcher: managing the “meat market.” This manager is a “user” of people who views employees as pieces of meat to be used – get one body, work it as much as possible, dump it when it is used up, and then get another. His focus is on production numbers – rather than on “quality.” Unfortunately, in his fervor to produce, he doesn’t benefit from the value experienced employees bring to the workplace and his all-important “bottom line.” This creates a revolving door of employees who have to be trained and have no interest in their job, the business, or its success. Employees quickly learn the score and develop no sense of loyalty. As a result, they’re more focused on their personal lives and marking time until finding another job.
The Waffler: managing through impulse. This manager always has a bright “new” idea that will revolutionize the business. He doesn’t (or can’t) necessarily explain how or why his “new” idea will work, but he’s sure if he just “implements this” or “tweaks that” then business will drastically improve. Though his enthusiasm is real and his intentions well meaning, he creates an atmosphere of “nothing really matters – put it off until later because it’ll all change again tomorrow.”
The Lord and Master: managing from the throne. This manager has absolute power, ruling his kingdom from his throne. No idea is a good idea unless, of course, it’s his idea. He must always have the last word – no questions allowed – it’s his way or the highway. This stifles creativity and input from the staff for both procedures and vision.
All of these managers have one thing in common – they live in fear – fear of losing control: 1) of their staff, 2) of respect, 3) of the business. The harder they try to control the less effective they become. Unfortunately, it is the employees who suffer. Ironically, the one thing these managers fail to realize is they never had or could have control. The one thing they will never understand is that control is just an illusion – there really is no such thing.
All of these styles create dissention and discord among employees. Each of these managers, in their own way, directly affects how staff feels about their surroundings, how they react to others in their surroundings, and how they judge others because of their surroundings. Like it or not, the manager is responsible for setting the tone in the workplace.
As an employee, if I can understand what drives managers, then I don’t have to personalize their behavior and allow their behavior to define me. Working in this type of environment is difficult and stressful. It’s important I understand what motivates these managers and learn how to grow in spite of them. Many people live their whole lives tolerating such work environments never knowing how to change them or how to escape from them. In other words, they just struggle to survive and work becomes a drudgery in which they’re trapped.
Now let’s look at some common traditional employee styles and the problems they create:
The Lackey: this is the “yes” man, trying to succeed by “sucking up.” This employee thinks he’ll climb the ladder of success by licking the boss’s boots. The boss definitely likes having this employee around for the grunt work, but doesn’t respect or trust him.
The Snitch: accumulates points by squealing on his coworkers. This employee slides into every conversation unnoticed, sucking up rumors and innuendo to regurgitate to the boss to show his allegiance. During slow periods, he made even instigate rumors. The traditional boss loves his covert spies, but once again, doesn’t trust or respect them.
The Rebel: is defiant to the end. This employee refuses, “quietly,” to follow procedure or protocol. He’ll agree and submit to management’s face, then do the opposite behind their backs. This lets him feel like he’s the one in control.
The Peacock: struts continuously, flaunting his beauty. Also known as “The Mouth,” this individual makes sure everybody knows, especially the boss, what new thing he’s coming up with, his successes, his future plans, and how his coworkers could improve.
The Martyr: carries the weight of the world on their shoulders so others won’t have to. Always given three times as much work as anyone else and with more restrictions and expectations, this individual will gladly offer to help others and then complain how hard he worked saving a coworker. These individuals are tolerated because they will take on a larger workload, but they are also avoided because of their incessant whining.
The Ghost: this is the invisible employee. This individual works at not drawing any attention to himself. They neither make mistakes nor excel at anything. By being anonymous, they go on about their lives unnoticed. They will never be fired or even “written up.” But if they’re invisible, they will also never be promoted.
The Anarchist: contriving sabotage behind the scenes. This individual is pissed off that he is actually expected to work for a living so he finds fault with everything and everyone. He’s expert and spreading dissention and discord around the workplace. This is an especially dangerous individual because he poisons others and it’s usually these other individuals which suffer the consequences.
The Bull: keeps his head down and plows forward: This individual works hard, but expects all his hard work to be noticed on its own.
The Knight: is the rescuer of all. This individual works hard and with diligence. Honorable and modest, this individual holds true to his principles. He will not blow his own horn, and because he won’t, he is not promoted, but is usually kept where he is needed most.
As an employee, it’s important I recognize these different, basic styles and not get caught-up in the dysfunction they create.
As mentioned earlier, if you’re reading this book then your manager is probably initiating the “Managing from the Heart” philosophy. This means your workplace is about to change to a “pro-employee” environment. It’s alright to be skeptical, but please at least be open.
In this book, we will learn the Process which will enable an individual to define their Purpose and develop the Passion required to reclaim their inner Power. We will also learn how to best take advantage of this new and radical opportunity.
The Four Pillars
Pillar: a firm upright support for a superstructure.
In life, there’s always many different ways to look at anything. In Working from the Heart, we are going to be looking at work, business, and basically, life from a different perspective than you may have ever looked at them before.
The traditional way of looking at business and my role in that business has historically been “Logistical.”
Logistical: the efficient, organized movement of materials, and sometimes, people.
In Working from the Heart, we will look at this logistical perspective, but we will also introduce a new perspective called “Transformative.”
Transformative: to change composition or structure; to change character or condition.
By wrapping our brains around new, unusual concepts and utilizing the advantages of both perspectives, we will empower the business we work for, our role in that business, and our personal lives as well.
Now, let’s look at the Four Pillars from each of these two perspectives and ask yourself: “How will each of these perspectives affect what I do and how will I benefit.”
Pillar I – Purpose
Logistical: “The object for which one strives or for which something exists; an aim or a goal.”
Transformative: “The inherent value of being; motivation; the intrinsic meaning of one’s existence.”
Every business has a purpose and everyone in that business has purpose.
Pillar II – Passion
Logistical: “A powerful emotion such as love, joy, anger, hatred. Ardent love: The object of such love or desire. Boundless enthusiasm: The object of such enthusiasm.”
Transformative: “Wholehearted devotion to an idea or ideology; energetic and unflagging pursuit of an aim or devotion to a cause.”
Pillar III – Process
Logistical: A series of procedures, changes, or functions bringing about a result.
Transformative: “The interaction of wisdom, inspiration, and humility affecting (transforming) one’s environment.”
Process is not a procedure – a business doesn’t need another procedure. Most managers make this mistake, resulting in confusion and misunderstanding.
(concept #2)
Efficiency vs. Effectivity
(Logistical) vs. (Transformative)
Procedure equals Efficiency: “are we doing things right?” (logistical)*
Process equals Effectivity: “are we doing the right things?” (transformative)*
Example: Living is a Process; not a Procedure
Consider: Success is a Process; not a Procedure
*Definition:
Effectivity: the ability to cause a result, especially a desired or intended result.
Pillar IV – Power
Logistical: “The ability or capacity to perform or act efficiently. Strength or force exerted or capable of being exerted. The ability or official capacity to exercise control; authority.”
Transformative: “Authority to transfer power for an identified purpose within specified standards; inspiring freedom to be creative within their own position.”
If I am to work from the heart, I must not only understand each of “The Four Pillars” but I must also possess total conviction of them as well.
If I don’t understand my purpose, I can’t direct my life;
if I don’t have passion, I can’t instill it or inspire myself;
if I don’t model the process, I will be unable to instruct others,
and if I don’t exhibit power, I can’t be an example to others.
WARNING!!! Most people reading this book will find the temptation to skip what they may view as “the touchy-feely crap” (Purpose and Passion) and want to move straight to Process.
“I don’t need the pep talk; just tell me how to do it.”
If this is the way you feel, then get your money back – you’re wasting your money and your time. Implementing the Process and experiencing the Power can only be successful if you understand and practice the first two pillars.
This book will open the door on a powerful new concept which will allow any individual to recognize and achieve vision they wouldn’t before dare to even dream of.
Pillar I Purpose
Noun: “The object for which one strives or for which something exists; an aim or a goal.” (logistical)
Verb: “The inherent value of being; motivation; the intrinsic meaning of one’s existence.” (transformative)
Chapter 1
A Person without Purpose is Lost
The Purpose of the Staff
To accomplish the “need” for which they were hired (logistical)
To fulfill the “vision” of the business (transformative)
To develop or discover their individual purpose
To be “engaged” in the business
To enable the business to excel
The purpose of the staff in any business is to accomplish the “need” for which they are hired (Notice: I said need – not “task”). Every business has numerous needs which must be met in order for the business to operate effectively. These needs are usually broken down into categories and personnel are hired to accomplish certain categories. Guidelines are then established to assist the employee in completing each need while maintaining standards.*
(*Note: Standard is a level of quality or excellence with which to judge effectivity.)
As an employee, it’s important I understand that accomplishing the need for which I was hired is my employer’s basic expectation of me. This is the “Purpose” for which I was hired. But having “a” purpose and “having” Purpose are two entirely different things. Having “a” purpose is a job – a paycheck. But “having” purpose is an investment in myself – a life-long process of growth – a career in the business of life.
It’s also important that I be willing to view ideas and concepts in different perspectives (example: many employees view standards as something negative, as if standards are set only as a way to monitor and then penalize employees). This perspective creates an “Us vs. Them” mentality, making each task a chore. Tasks often seem more difficult than they really are and are performed grudgingly only to prevent being penalized. Once the standard is met, this mentality also sets up subconscious barriers which retard motivation for achieving more than the standard. “As long as I meet the standard, I don’t have to go any further.”
Change this perspective to one in which I view standards as positive reminders of the minimum I will accomplish and an opportunity to excel beyond expectations.
Another purpose of the staff is to fulfill the “vision” of business. Fulfilling the vision of the business is a direct result of the individual taking “ownership” of the business plan. When I feel I am working for myself and I take part in crafting my own standards and responsibilities, I become naturally vested in the success of the business. I come to work with one purpose – to work. Recognition that success of the business and myself are not mutually exclusive, but are in fact, one and the same, inspires allegiance to nurturing the health of both. I want to excel and I want the business to excel.
When I have ownership, I remain vigilant in my concern for the health of the business. I remain aware and interactive in monitoring the “pulse” of the business. I am quick to alert others and am creative in problem-solving suggestions. In short, I am proactive. A job no longer becomes “work,” but instead, it becomes a passion.
Another purpose of staff is to discover their individual purpose. To discover purpose, one must tap into their inner power. Embracing one’s inner power unleashes creativity, talents, and potential previously unrealized. As children, most people dare to hope and dream that they are capable and competent – that they can tackle anything. But as the stress of life and the caution of “well-meaning” critics instill distrust in one’s own abilities; a person begins to doubt, and even fear, their own inner strength. As we will discuss later, we give this “inner power” away to others, and in doing so, become our own worst enemies.
The purpose of the staff is also to be “engaged” in the business. This is best done in an environment which nurtures growth and allows each individual to reach their full potential. When I am allowed to focus on the reason I come to work, I am able to perform and am able to excel. Once again, if you are reading this book, your manager has probably already started the process of engineering this type of environment. If this is the case, you are extremely fortunate.
In an environment of chaos, drama, and stress, people can only focus on survival, gossip, and anxiety. When this happens, the workplace becomes a play yard, a battleground, or a zoo. In this type of environment, employees spend ninety percent of their time just surviving.
The purpose of the staff is to enable the business to excel. This is best done by investing in the Four Pillars being mentored by the manager. A Manager from the Heart will become my most valuable asset by guiding me through a process of personal and professional growth. He or she will set the groundwork and engineer the necessary work environment. This manager will become an ally, not an adversary, on my journey to success. This manager will gladly assist me in defining my Purpose, developing Passion, tapping into my inner power, becoming invested in the business, understanding and taking ownership of the “business plan,” and in the acquisition of real Power. This will initiate a process of self-actualization, allowing me to maximize my full potential.
I know that considering your manager an ally, believing he has your best interest at heart, and having personal concern for the health and welfare of the business may be an unusual concept in today’s world. Remember, I said you will need to wrap your brain around new concepts.
This new environment will nurture ideas, motivation, intuition, and passion, inspiring innovation in problem solving. To take full advantage of this environment, I need to openly and honestly express myself in an open forum. When I do this and encourage others to do the same, the exchange of talents and beliefs create an atmosphere of collaboration.
By collaborating, my individual talents ignite creativity, fueling other’s creativity, allowing each of us to experience and utilize the collective talents of all. In such an atmosphere, staff becomes willing to support and assist one another instead of becoming entrenched in one-up-manship.
In this new environment, you will learn that there is a lot more to you than you ever realized. You will also learn that your biggest asset and your biggest obstacle to personal success is yourself.
If I had an orange and I squeezed it as hard as I could – motor oil is not coming out; apple juice is not coming out; the only thing that is coming out is orange juice because that’s all that’s inside. If I am full of negativity, confusion, condemnation, and doubt then that’s all that can come out – we radiate it and infect all those around us. We attract people like us and we begin to feed off one another. But if I’m full of understanding, confidence, compassion, and motivation, I radiate that and people are drawn to me.
(concept #3)
Be the orange
(*NOTE) 80/20 Rule: “80% of the work is done by 20% of the staff.”
Imagine the outcome for your department and for the business if 100% of your staff performed with the same effectivity as that original 20%!
******
Chapter 2
When working from the heart it is essential to understand purpose of customer:
What is a customer?
Who is the customer?
What are the needs and expectations of the customer?
How do I best serve the customer?
Definition of Customer (Logistical)
Derived from the old English; “custom” – meaning “habit.” Someone who made a habit of frequenting a particular shop to purchase goods or services (what we, today, think of as a “repeat” customer). The shopkeeper would make it a point to maintain a relationship with each customer by remembering their needs and preferences. By doing this, the shopkeeper expected further purchases in the future.
Traditionally, a customer has one purpose – to provide income (or profit) for the business. The consumer is seen as having the business’ money and it’s the business’ job to get it from him. Marketing departments have become creatively relentless in winning, cajoling, influencing, and manipulating the consumer to patronize their particular product or service. Of course, this has made the modern-day consumer skeptical and incredulous. This is why most consumers’ brains and patience fail when receiving what is today considered “junk” phone calls, mail, e-mails, and advertisements.
The realization that practically all the effort and creativity which is put into advertising is considered “junk” testifies to how shell-shocked consumers have become. Terminology in our culture today such as “informed consumer” signifies the degree of distrust people have in business. How often have you received an annoying phone call at the most inopportune moment and thought, “If I need something, I’ll go out and get it. I don’t need anyone coming to me with something I don’t want or need?”
Definition of Customer (Transformative)
In Working from the Heart, a “customer” is considered any person, group of persons, or organization for which a product or service is made available (purchase is not essential). Because of the concept of interconnectedness (what benefits me – benefits all; what hurts me – hurts all), it is necessary to recognize the importance of a relationship with any person, group of persons, or organizations.
A healthy relationship has four main components: respect, loyalty, honesty, and faithfulness. Each party in a relationship must feel safe to openly and honestly express their wants, needs, hopes, values, dreams, and emotions without fear of being discounted, hurting the other party, or making the other party angry. This ability to communicate allows true intimacy and expresses a real concern for the well-being of the other party. If we are only able to communicate on a “subject level” we tend to view others as objects and objects are things to be used.
(concept #4)
A customer is not an “object” to be used.
A healthy connection (or affiliation) between parties enables a ripple effect of confidence in integrity throughout the community. This creates goodwill and trust. When a skeptical and incredulous customer is treated with dignity and respect (instead of manipulation) confidence and trust in the product or service begins to grow in the customer. Subconsciously, allegiance to the business which created this product or service also begins to grow. Once a customer is converted from skepticism to trust, they will remain loyal even when problems in this relationship arise.
Because of interconnectedness and the ripple effect of goodwill, the sale you make today is often because of something you may have done days, weeks, months, or even years ago.
Who is your Customer?
Story #1 Old People in the Nursery
After the Navy, I began working evenings and weekends at a hardware/garden shop/retail store. Many of the customers that frequented the store were elderly, and after a short while I had many of them asking for me versus other staff members.
This gave me an opportunity to get to know them and their history. I was able to learn a lot just by listening to their stories, and in turn, my sales grew as I built a strong following.
I often got comments from other staff like, “How can you stand dealing with those ‘old people’? They are so grumpy and it takes too much time to wait on them”.
My reply: “First of all, they are our customer and they deserve to be treated the way you want to be treated. Second, they are elderly, so they are going to be slower than some of our ‘younger’ customers. Third, they probably are grumpy with you because they may not be feeling well, although most of the time they are not grumpy with me. And forth, the amount of sales I am doing indicate that they are a very profitable customer base. Their money is green and they are looking for a place to spend it. Why shouldn’t I serve them?”
Bottom line: During the four years I was at the store this proved to be true. I had repeat business, referrals, etc. It just took a little extra effort and patience to work with everyone in the beginning but ended up producing business and affecting the bottom line in a very positive manner.
sow quickly – reap little
sow patiently – reap a harvest
Basically, customers fall into two main groups: External and Internal.
External customers include individuals, businesses, business people, and organizations apart from the business. Essentially, this is the general public which includes suppliers, bankers, governmental bodies, and even competitors. External customers are the customers of the business.
Internal customers work within the business itself. These include any position in any department for which a service or product can be provided.
The customer of the business is the general public. It is important to recognize that the “sales reps” are the business’ front line in working with the external customer.
The customer of the sales rep is the business’ customer. As the business’ front line in dealing with the consumer, it is imperative the sales rep understands the needs and expectations of each consumer and be adept at developing a “relationship” (a bond) with the consumer in a timely manner.
The customer of the support staff is the sales rep. Each member of the support staff must understand the needs and expectations of each sales rep and become dedicated to servicing them. As the sales rep services the consumer, so must the support staff service the sales rep.
The customer of the manager is the support staff and the sales reps – in short; everyone in his department. By servicing the support staff, he services the sales reps. By servicing the sales reps; he services the consumer. By servicing the consumer; he services the business.
As an employee, it is of paramount importance for me to understand “and appreciate” that no position or need in the department is more important than any other position or need.
(concept #5)
No position is more important than any other
Without a sales rep to make contact with the consumer, a product or service cannot be offered. Usually, sales reps are the prima donnas of the business, but consider… Without a receptionist to answer the phone, the message cannot be relayed. Without a person to order the pens, the message cannot be written. Without a person to make the copy, the order cannot be recorded. Without a person to keep the records, the order cannot be filled. Without a person to fill the order, the product or service cannot be conveyed. Without the product or service being conveyed, income cannot be earned. Without a manager to orchestrate this procedure, profit cannot be made. Without profit being made, wages cannot be paid.
The good news is – this is not really a problem!!! Why? Because if you do not employ any of these people you don’t have a business to worry about anyway.
What are the needs and expectations of my customer?
All customers (whether external or internal) present two primary dilemmas for the business: “needs / wants” and “expectations.” It is essential for anyone in dealing with any customer to discover the customer’s needs, deal with the wants, and make expectations realistic.
Needs / Wants:
The problem with “needs” is that often customers do not have a clear understanding of their “needs.” Often, the customer has an idea of what they want to accomplish – to have happen – but does not know “how” to make it happen. A customer’s “wants” are their emotional attachments to their “needs.” At this point, assistance in determining what the customer’s real needs are is a valuable service to the customer. We must understand the “wants” to discover the customer’s real “needs.”
Story #2: Larry’s Car
It all started with the “need” for Cathy, my wife, to have a different vehicle in order to take our grandson various places when she watched him. At the time, her car was a two door, which made it very difficult for her to get him in and out of his car seat. Also, the backseat really didn’t have a very effective way to secure the car seat. With that in mind, I thought about having her drive my Ford Expedition and trading in her Explorer.
Since the Expedition is a large SUV, I thought of getting something fun (want) to drive as well as something that was good on gas (need). I liked the white Saturn Sky sport car and thought that it would be nice to have something like that.
At the Saturn dealer, a rep came out and simply said (in a very bored tone) that it would take 8 to 12 months to get one. He then went on to say that the Pontiac dealer next door may have their version called a Solstice.
At the Pontiac dealer, a nicer rep came out and said that their car is hard to get, but should only take 4 to 12 weeks after an order is placed. I took a test drive in their one demo and was very pleased with the car. After returning from the test drive, I met with the rep and was told that the dealership was working on getting four cars from another dealer that had closed down.
It came down to both of us agreeing that she would keep me informed about the status of the vehicles. I never heard back from her so I left a voice message. I eventually received a voice message stating that the status was the same and the rep would get back to me the following week.
I then realized I would need to look around outside of town if I was going to find one. That evening I went on the internet and found three other dealers that had the car I liked. One was in red and another in white. Red was what I was leaning towards. When I contacted these dealers the next morning (all out of the local area), one had already sold the car and another dealer had a car on its way, and said that I would be able to take delivery in two weeks. I finally contacted the fifth dealer with the white one.
Out of all the dealers I contacted, the one with the white car in stock was the only one that:
1.) returned my phone calls in a prompt time frame.
2.) really acted like they wanted my business – eager to serve.
3.) asked questions discerning my needs and wants – interested in me (the customer) – imagine that!!!
4.) discussed the benefits of white over red – not pushing it.
5.) mentioned that they would be happy to locate a red one if I really didn’t want white.
6.) offered me the best deal on my trade-in.
7.) were truly enthusiastic in their approach to working with me, their “customer.”
My wife who was with me while picking up the car even mentioned that someone must be really mentoring these young guys.
Bottom line:
I was very impressed with the level of service. I purchased the car there and it was a very enjoyable experience. This fifth dealer embodied the transformative model while the others followed the logistical model. It is interesting to me that the 80/20 rule was in effect again.
Expectations:
Customers base expectations on perceived product capabilities or service levels. These expectations are influenced by cultural values, marketing, advertising, and most of all…wishful thinking. Unless a customer’s expectations are made realistic, “expected” outcome is often a “set-up” for disappointment.
(concept #6)
Expectations are resentments waiting to happen.
Having the best product or service on the market is irrelevant if the customer’s expectation of the product or service is unrealistic. Once a customer is disappointed and a resentment develops, regaining trust and confidence is difficult. There’s an old saying, “Word of mouth is the best advertising.” But consider this; when a resentment has developed, word of mouth is the absolute worst advertising. This is why it is so important to assist the customer in understanding the capabilities, and especially the limitations, of the product or service.
Whether external or internal, a customer’s expectations must be made realistic by the person servicing them. This is essential if a healthy “working” relationship is to develop between the two parties. The first step in making expectations realistic is understanding that the customer sees a completely different world than you.
(concept #7)
No one sees reality the way reality really is.
We only see reality the way we are.
Expectations are based on the customer’s perception of reality. Understand: no one sees reality the way reality really is; we only see reality the way we are. The way we view the world, and everything in it, is dictated by the sum total of our experiences and our interpretation of those experiences. It’s important that I try to understand how my customer views this experience.
How do I best serve my customer?
To best serve your customer you must know your customer. To best know your customer you must develop a relationship with your customer. To develop a relationship with your customer you must not only understand, but also have a genuine concern for, your customer’s wants and needs, be willing to be open and honest, and show them respect and dignity.
Having a clear understanding of your customer’s wants and needs is the first step in developing a healthy relationship – a relationship that just may last a lifetime. Understand that your goal is to satisfy your customer’s need. When the customer’s need is met there is no buyer’s remorse. Ask yourself the following three questions:
“How do I meet your need?”
“What do I need to do to help you – to give you what you need?”
“How can we work together to meet your need?”
By working alongside the customer – a bond develops.
By making expectations realistic – resentment is avoided.
By being completely open and honest – trust is established.
By treating them with respect and dignity – respect and dignity is returned.
“Under promise – over deliver” is a concept which enables a person to prevent expectations from turning into resentments. In an effort to “get the sale” or “make the impression,” people sometimes set themselves up for failure (at least in their customer’s eyes) by promising more than they may actually be able to produce. This causes customer dissatisfaction and distrust and eventually costs this person their customer’s allegiance. I may make the sale or impression in the present, but I lose the long-term benefits of having a loyal customer.
To know your customer, ask yourself, “How do I wish to be treated?”
Story #3: Voided Check
One of the goals for any for any department is to have staff that are willing to go the extra mile as the need arises. These individuals are invaluable to management and are quickly recognized. Some people have a natural tendency towards this, while others take coaching.
It is always wonderful for management to hear when an employee exhibits a “beyond the call of duty” attitude.
One such example was when David, one of our reps, helped a member (customer) recover a check she had written to a business, and later that day, found their product defective (she lived forty-five minutes away). She was talking with David, her financial advisor and mentioned this. The business had said to bring the item back, but she was concerned that they would still try to cash her check as she wasn’t able to return the item for a couple of days. She asked about putting a “stop payment” on the check.
David mentioned that since he lived close to her he would be happy to pick up the item, return it to the store, and pick up the check for her. This way the check wouldn’t go through and she would save the “stop payment” fee.
The end results were: David did the pickup, and the member “customer” was very thankful and impressed for his help. This was going the extra mile and showed his commitment to the best service possible.
******
Chapter 3
– it’s always been there.
Have you ever heard anyone say:
“You made me mad?”
“You made me happy?”
“You made me sad?”
“He/she really knows how to push my buttons?”
You just gave someone one hell of a lot of power over you.
Have you ever gotten mad at your car, your TV, or some other inanimate object?
You just gave a “thing” a hell of a lot of power over you. When you stop and think about it, it’s damn sad when a brainless, emotionless, soulless, piece of metal and plastic has that much power and control over you. Power to make you say and do things which make you look and feel like an idiot. You give them control to change your attitude, your sense of wellness, and to ruin, not only your moment, but often your whole day.
Even “You make me happy” isn’t healthy. If I give you the power to make me happy, then I also give you the power to devastate me. What a burden to place upon someone you love – making them responsible for your happiness. They better not falter.
What if you disconnected those buttons? It takes two people to fight. Just one person fighting looks (and feels) like an idiot. The difficult thing to understand and most of all accept, is that you actually choose to be happy, mad, or sad. No one can make me feel anything – I choose it! Someone may say or do something – make some comment or perform some behavior – and I then choose to react in a certain way.
As human beings, we are condemned to make choices. We make hundreds, even thousands, of choices each day – some healthy and some not so healthy. The choices we make which cause us grief – cause pain in our lives – we learn at a very young age to put the blame on others. We become indentured to this “avoidance of responsibility,” and without even realizing it, we become willing victims to the whims and actions of others. I let others decide how I feel, what I think, and what I do.
When I learn that I have a choice and begin to take responsibility for my person – my emotions, thoughts, beliefs, desires, ideas, opinions, and behavior – I begin the process of reclaiming my inherent power, and I start the climb out of victimhood. Once I understand that I have a choice, I can choose to RESPOND (transformative) rather than REACT (logistical).
(concept #8)
Respond – Don’t React
When I react, I am following the lead of someone else’s emotions, thoughts, behaviors, or beliefs. My “knee jerk” reaction invariably causes painful consequences for myself. I say and do things I regret later – things I wish I could take back. In essence, the other person, or thing, is controlling my emotions, thoughts, behaviors, and beliefs because – I allow it! The only power anyone has over me is the power I give them. In other words, we give our power away to others who don’t ask for it, don’t necessarily know they have it, and often don’t even want it.
It’s important to understand that our feelings (our emotions) are not right or wrong – good or bad. They’re just feelings and they are necessary for us to function. It’s what we do with our feelings – our behavior – that can be either constructive or destructive. We must learn to feel the feeling, but choose the behavior.
By choosing to respond instead of react, I retain my power, enabling me to make healthy decisions and take healthy action. When I respond, I take advantage of the opportunity to integrate my will and my intellect with the feeling I am experiencing. At this point, I am able to feel the feeling and chose my behavior. I can then choose healthy, constructive behaviors. My physical and emotional state is no longer dictated by another. I understand that the other person’s anger, guilt, fear, insecurity, etc., is their “baggage” to carry – not mine. I can help them solve a problem (if I choose to) without being sucked into their misery.
To understand what drives me, what “triggers” me, and what will inspire me, I must (1) be aware of my personal interaction within the workplace, and (2) have an understanding of motivations behind different emotions.
If I understand the motivations behind Fear, Insecurity, Worry, Envy, Jealousy, Resentment, Anger, etc., then I am better able to influence self-defeating behaviors and attitudes which could become potentially poisonous to my department.
Our emotions, or feelings, are necessary and have evolved for very specific reasons – to enable us to survive. Without them, we wouldn’t be here.
When used in a healthy way, they protect us, nurture us, and allow us to persevere. It’s only when we let them run away with us that they become destructive.
Fear alerts me that there is danger present. It motivates me to take appropriate action to protect myself and get out of harm’s way.
Fear unleashed is crippling – it puts me in danger by preventing me from thinking rationally or taking necessary action. When this happens, FEAR itself becomes dangerous and becomes an obsession, feeding on itself as it builds. Most of our fears are unfounded and it’s these unfounded fears that spin in our head like a squirrel cage out of control.
Fear of the unknown, fear of loss, fear of non-acceptance, fear of failure, and fear of success are just a few of these crippling fears.
I need to ask myself:
What exactly is it that I fear?
What, in reality, is the likelihood this will actually happen?
If this does happen, what is the absolute worse outcome?
Would I be able to continue living if this did happen?
What rational steps can I take to protect myself?
Then take the steps. Once your footwork is done, let it go. Don’t worry about it.
Insecurity is fear of not measuring up – not being good enough. Insecurity alerts me that I am not confident about what I am about to do. It gives me cause to question my preparations, understanding, and motivation and reassess my decision. When used in a healthy way, insecurity alerts me that something is not right and prompts me to “check” myself.
Insecurity run rampant completely disables me, causing me to question everything, even sound preparations. Insecurity also cripples me with indecisiveness.
I need to ask myself:
What exactly am I insecure about?
What does not seem / feel right?
Why doesn’t it seem / feel right?
What is the solution?
Once I identify the solution, I need to take appropriate action and then allow myself to feel confident in my ability.
Worry is obsessing over the unknown. Worry can alert me of an issue which needs my attention. I need to:
Identify the issue,
Ask myself what I can do about the issue at this moment,
Do it, and then
Let it go.
If there is no action I can immediately take, then I make a note of when I will need to take action and then let it go. The problem with worry is that it is “obsessive” in nature when there is really nothing which can be done at the present moment. Worry gives me a sense, an “illusion,” of being proactive when I’m not actually doing anything except creating stress, raising blood pressure, and causing sleepless nights. By making a note, I can revisit the issue at a time when I can take positive action.
Envy is especially mean. Envious people feel miserable when someone else has something they want. They see other’s success as a sign of their own failure and want to attack or destroy what’s good in others. If they can’t have it – they long for the other person to suffer or lose it.
When I find myself filled with envy, I need to stop, get honest, and ask myself:
What do I want to destroy that belongs to somebody else?
Why do I feel this way?
What is the motivation behind this envy?
Do I feel “less than” just because they have it and I don’t?
Why does that person’s possession, accomplishment, or success define me?
Is this really my issue and not his?
Did this person get or do this just to hurt me?
If I had what he has would I want him to feel this way?
If yes, then, “Why?”
Jealousy confuses love with ownership. A jealous person believes that others want to take away something or someone that belongs to them. They view everything as possessions – even people – and possessions are things to be used. Jealously destroys relationships. Incapable of true intimacy, jealous people feel an intense sense of betrayal and desperation. They end up accusing the very person they feel belongs to them because on some deeper level they believe they are not worthy of the person’s love, loyalty, attention, or affection.
When I find myself jealous, I must stop, get honest, and ask myself:
Do I believe I own this person?
Has this person really done something to warrant distrust, or is this my own fear of inadequacy?
If this person really has been unfaithful or has betrayed me, then why do I want this person in my life? (Remember, if I allow someone to abuse me – I am guilty of self-abuse)
How is my jealousy hurting me? How is it hurting them?
Resentment is self-abuse by holding onto past hurts and pain. This is bleeding from old wounds, obsessing on misery and suffering, and victimizing myself again and again by recalling the resentment. Resentment is:
pain which grows more intense each time I recall the resentment.
pain which grows into anger.
anger which grows into hatred.
playing judge, jury, and “would be” executioner.
lying in wait for the time I may get even.
a false sense of protection.
like taking poison and expecting the other person to die.
self-abuse.
a prison of my own making.
living in fear, anger, and shame (and living in fear, anger, and shame is not living).
living in weakness (and living in weakness is not living).
Once I understand the power and the pain resentments hold over my life, I must become willing to rid myself of resentment. I do this by practicing Tool #67, “Practice the Principle of Forgiveness.” (see “List of Tools” in INDEX)
Anger is a normal part of life – an emotion. Anger is a gift, a natural part of the human condition, but it isn’t easy to handle. Anger often causes trouble in our lives. Emotionally healthy people do not hide from their Anger, nor do they befriend it. Anger alerts me that I have been violated, that there is something wrong in my life. It tells me to identify the problem and take action to make the situation better.
I must understand unhealthy Anger is dangerous. It is when I let my Anger take control of me that I just create more problems for myself. I must also recognize that anger is often my emotional “last line of defense” for whenever I am feeling too lonely, afraid, hurt, lost, abandoned, or out of control. Anger can give me a sense – an illusion – of power or control. Of course, it is just an illusion but it makes me feel better (temporarily). Anger is an effective way to avoid other uncomfortable feelings. And of course, unhealthy Anger is also a very effective manipulation tool, allowing me to push others away and even control their behavior.
Healthy Anger is expressed in moderation so there is no loss of control. The goal of healthy Anger is to solve problems – not hurt people. The key to healthy Anger is that it is temporary and is let go once an issue is resolved. I need to feel the feeling, but choose the behavior.
Anger is healthy when I:
Recognize my Anger: take a time-out to –
Identify my Anger. Honestly ask myself why I am angry.
Understand my Anger is a signal that there is a problem which needs to be addressed.
Realize it is OK to be angry and it is a normal part of life.
Ask myself what are the underlying feelings, the motivation behind, which are driving my Anger? – (fear; shame; jealousy; envy; feeling deprived, violated, discounted, rejected, etc.)
Take ownership of and responsibility for my Anger (“This is what I feel and only I am responsible for it.”)
Take action: Respond – Don’t React!
Carefully think through the situation.
Identify the problem – what needs to be corrected?
Identify the solution – what steps must be taken to solve the problem?
Choose the behavior – what is the healthy way to do what is needed without hurting anyone?
Get proactive – do the footwork that is needed
State my Anger clearly and calmly using an assertive manner so that others can understand and respond.
Express my Anger in moderation without losing control.
Let it go: Give away the Pain
Accept that people are not perfect and suffer from their own issues; they make mistakes, and have to live with themselves.
Recognize that harboring anger, resentment, and malicious tendencies only hurt me.
Ask myself whether I’ve ever committed a similar offense?
Forgive the aggressor.
With an understanding of what motivates different emotions and how to assist another in dealing with emotions in a healthy and positive way, I can clear boulders and pebbles and instruct an employee how to stop “shooting himself or herself in the foot.” (see Reality Checks under “List of Tools” in INDEX)
People collect bricks over their lifetime – a little brick of resentment over this incident, a little brick of fear over that situation, a bigger brick of anger because of this, a giant brick of regret over that, a brick of shame, a brick of guilt, and so on. We don’t mean to collect these bricks and God knows we don’t want them. But the truth is: we go through life filling our sack with these bricks until our backs are bowed and bent from the weight and still we refuse to give them up – to set them down. Sadly, most of the bricks we carry aren’t even ours to carry – they belong to someone else. But because we collect, we’re quick to scoop them up and put them in our sack. Here’s a thought: