Left Behind
Published By Jayton Young at Smashwords
Copyright © Jayton Young 2011
Other works by Jayton Young:
Don’t Love Me – Werewolf Romance/Short Story
Who Am I? – Werewolf/Short Story
Coming Soon
No More Running – Suspense/Romance
WARNING: This book contains some explicit sexual content and Ménage (M/F/MM) situations.
Blurb
Marti has spent the last 10 years basically on her own. Her brothers had been at college and her three best friends had joined the military as a requirement to receive their inheritance. She lived through her father dying, then when she finally decided to attend a university, she lived through a very traumatic experience that leaves her mute and broken. But, somebody thinks he needs to finish the job he started.
Toby, Tory, and Troy are home now. Each of them honorably discharged after injuries sustained in the line of duty. They get home to find the love of their lives, and best friend, had changed. She is no longer the outgoing, bubbly, girl they once knew.
What will happen when they find out the reason why?
Prologue
10 years ago
It felt like the world was crashing down around me. My legs wouldn’t hold me anymore, and if it weren’t for the three sets of arms holding me, I would have fallen.
How could everyone just abandon me? Jordan my older brother left for Georgia State yesterday on his football scholarship. He wants to major on computer engineering. I’m very proud of him, but I’ll miss him so much. He is only three years older than me at eighteen, but he has practically raised James and me since Mommy died.
I still have my younger brother James and my dad, but James is starting the foreign exchange in a month, going to Japan, and of course Daddy has been a workaholic since he quit drinking when my mom died five years ago, so I never see him. He only comes home to sleep.
The people I thought I could count on, my best friends, are leaving. Toby, Tory, and Troy all had told me at different times that they would always be there for me. Now they are leaving to join different branches of the military as required by their grandfathers will to inherit the ranch and business that has been in their family for generations. In my head I know they have to go, but my heart won’t listen. I’ve been in love with them since I met them when my dad bought the land neighboring theirs when I was ten. For five years they have been coming to the ranch to learn everything from Grampa Tobias. They have come to the ranch every summer and school holiday for their whole lives. Toby’s dad was a judge and hadn’t ever wanted the ranch, so it automatically went to the trips.
We had met the day my family moved next door to them. Dad and Jordan wouldn’t let me help unpack the moving van. They said I was too little, but they let James help, and he had been smaller than me!? How was that possible? I discovered by their behavior later on that they were just trying to protect and coddle me because I was the only girl left in the family. My name is Martha Mckayla Cunningham and everyone called me Kayla until Mommy died, then for some reason Daddy and the boys started calling me Marti, short for Martha. They let me go anywhere I wanted as long as I stayed on our property. But the day we moved I had been upset and crying because they wouldn’t let me help, so I walked around our land, which was mostly covered in trees, and found this beautiful bubbling creek in the woods a little ways from the house. I sat there crying when three Identical boys my brothers age came up to the fence that separated our lands.
“Whacha cryin’ for?” one of them said as they all got off their horses and led them to the water for a drink. They climbed over the fence and came to sit beside me.
“Nobody won’t let me help set up our new house. They told me to find something to do. I can help, and I wanna help, but they won’t let me!” I cried.
The boys on either side of me put their arms around my shoulders.
“Well, why don’t we find something to do? My name is Toby, what’s yours?” The one on the right said.
“They call me Marti.”
“Hey Marti! I’m Troy and that’s Tory.” The boy on the left said as he pointed to the boy beside Toby.
“Do you want to ride my horse?” Toby asked.
“I really want to, but Jordan told me to stay on our land.” I said, sad at not being able to ride.
“Well, you want to feed them? We each brought treats for them for the ride today.” Tory said.
“I’d love to, thanks!”
And after that, we were practically inseparable. They became friends with all of us, but we were closer. I fell in love with them, but I could never choose between them, so I never said anything.
And now they were leaving.
“You know we will come here for all of our leaves. You’ll still see us, Pea.” Toby said using his endearment for me. They had each given me a different one.
“Cupcake, please don’t cry…” Troy said
“It breaks our heart, Princess. We promised you a long time ago there would be no need for tears while you are with us.” Tory said finishing Troy’s statement.
I looked up into their amber eyes. They were all so beautiful in a manly way, with buzz cut black hair and russet skin tone showing their Cherokee heritage. They all had the build of hard workers, and they kept getting bigger.
“That’s just it.” I cried. “I won’t be with you.”
Seeing the anguish on their faces, I tried to pull myself together. I hated myself for making them feel bad for leaving.
“Okay. I know y’all have to go. I’ll be alright. We’re gonna write and like I you said, I’ll see you on each of your leaves. I’ll be busy with school and work anyway. Y’all just have to promise me to be careful wherever you each are stationed.”
They each backed up and looked down at me (they are a foot taller than me at 6’3) and smiled.
“You know us…” Toby said.
“We are always…” Troy continued.
“Careful and in control, Princess.” Tory finished. They had a habit of sharing sentences.
I laughed. “Thank you. Y’all always know what to say to make me feel better. I’ll miss all of you. Y’all know I’ll be here waiting for everyone to come back.”
“What about your plans for college, Pea?” Toby asked.
“I’ll be going to community college. Dad needs someone to keep him sane. You know he never cooks anymore, and wouldn’t eat if it weren’t for me shoving the plate in his face as soon as he gets home every day.” I exaggerated a sigh. “It’s nice to be needed.”
“We’ll always need ya, Cupcake. But you’ll have to do the beatin’ of any boys comin’ your way. Just remember what we taught ya.” Tory said.
“Yeah, yeah, fight dirty and fight to win. I gotcha.”
I watched as my boys finished loading their Escalade. They each gave me a long hug and a peck on the mouth. They got in, and I watched them drive down the gravel driveway until I couldn’t see them anymore.
And then I was alone.
Chapter 1
I woke up this morning drenched in sweat. It’s not really unusual for me anymore. More like the norm. I got up and took a shower before heading down the dark hallway to the kitchen. The hall is not that long, but it’s dark because I keep my whole house that way. I like to keep the windows covered by the drapes and all of the doors closed. I am so paranoid about someone looking into the house through the windows, even though I am surrounded by the woods except for my gravel driveway, but even that is canopied by trees. This is still the house Daddy bought fifteen years ago. He died two years ago, but left the house to me along with a hefty life insurance policy that neither my brothers nor I knew about. He only left it to me, explaining that he loved all of us, but had taken me for granted for all those years I cared for him. He said he did appreciate it, but he hadn’t known how to talk to me because I reminded him too much of our mother. He said for us not to morn him that he was happy that he would finally be with Mommy again since he’d been saved. Come to find out, Daddy had liver cancer from all of the years he drank before Mommy died. He didn’t want treatment, because he missed Mommy too much and was happy that he would be reunited with her. Jordan and James weren’t upset about the money or the house. Daddy had paid for their education and got them into their own apartments, though Jordan moved back in with me so I wouldn’t be alone. I shared the money with them anyway.
I went to the island workstation that has a sink, built in fryer, and a built in flat surface stove top. James, being an architect, designed the remodel of my kitchen. He built me my dream kitchen and put in all of the most up to date appliances for me.
I put a pot of water on to boil for my morning grits, and got a frying pan out to fix Jordan his eggs before he heads into his home office for the day, if he didn’t have any other plans. He owns an internet security company. He also builds websites for people. He does really well for himself. I set my sweet iced tea and his orange juice and coffee on the table, and then finished cooking our breakfast.
I couldn’t talk or make any sounds anymore due to an incident that happened last year, so I typed that breakfast was ready into the voice machine that Jordan built for me and set it for loud so it could call Jordan for me. I laughed silently like I do every time I use it for that, because it shouts louder than I used to.
A couple of minutes later, Jordan walked in.
“Good morning, Sis!” He said sitting down at the booth-like table next to the bay windows. “What masterpiece of eggs did you make for me this morning?”
‘A farmer’s omelet.’ I signed to him. Jordan, James and I all took an ASL course, after we learned I would never be able to speak again, to make communicating easier than having to write or type everything. ‘What are your plans for today?’ I asked him.
“I’ll be spending today up in Charlotte to get the updated equipment I need. I’ll be stopping in town on my way back to stock up on groceries and supplies. Make your list of what you need.”
‘You should have told me last night. That way you wouldn’t have to wait on me. I reprimanded. I’ve got a pretty long list.’
I started making the list out while I finished eating my grits.
“What are your plans?” He asked after he had finished eating and was rinsing his plate to put in the dishwasher.
I put down my pen so I could answer. ‘I’ll just be working on my book today.’ I had decided to write a book using a story I had started in high school. I had several stories I wanted to try to get published if the first one went well.
“Please, stay inside today. You can use my office if you’d like, but I’d rather you didn’t go to the creek while I’m not here. Even with your panic bracelet, I won’t be close enough to help if something happens.”
I usually did my writing at the creek. It was my thinking place because I always felt so safe and tranquil there. It was my favorite place because it was our place. My boys and mine. Since I went out there so often and couldn’t yell if something happened, Jordan had made me a bracelet that had an electronic device in it where if I were to push the button, it would immediately alert him through his masculine version of my bracelet. He was very protective of me, and worried every time I left the house. Not that I ever go anywhere since I suffered agoraphobia.
‘I wasn’t planning on it. I said in answer to his plea. I was just going to lie in bed and use the laptop. I’m feeling lazy today.’
“Are you feeling alright?”
‘Yeah, I just had another nightmare. For some reason it left me feeling drained.’ I said.
“Okay, if you’re sure. Hey! I forgot to tell you. James called around 2 o’clock this morning saying that he’s moving back to Fort Mill.” He said getting all excited. “He said that he took the licensing exams for South Carolina online last week and passed. He’s gonna move back in here until he builds his own house. He wants to buy some of this land off you so he can be close to us. He is also bringing Shelby with him. They finally got engaged, so she’ll be moving down here and in with him once he gets the house built.”
‘I’ll give him the land. It belongs to both of you just as much as it does to me. And Shelby can move in here with us. She doesn’t have to wait if she doesn’t want to.’ I kind of like the fact that my whole family will be with me again.
“Dad left all this to you, and you deserve it. We were never mad about that, but we both just want to stay close to you. I missed you too much while I was in Georgia, and James feels the same way. I swear, I don’t know how he’s stayed away this long. Y’all were always more like twins, even being eleven months apart. That was one of Mom’s favorite things to tell people. She loved how close you two were and that you were even in the same grade ‘cause of your birthday and the school cut off dates. Remember all of the stories she used to tell us about when y’all were babies. She always referred to you as ‘the babies’, not Kayla and James.”
‘Yeah, I remember. I’ve missed him too. I love both of you very much. I don’t think I would have made it after everything happened if you hadn’t been here with me. And I know he tried his best to be here as much as possible. I’m just happy he’ll finally be home for good. I’ll be able to see both of you every day, even if he does stay in his own house.’
I got to thinking. My family would finally be here with me. If only Toby, Tory, and Troy would come home, everything would be perfect.
******************************************************
I was sitting on the bed in my room, on my laptop writing, when I heard the rattle of chains. My head whipped up, looking towards my door. I knew nothing in my house would make that sound. I didn’t like chains, and wouldn’t allow them on my property. They brought back too many painful memories. Maybe Jordan is home and he forgot? No, I knew he would never forget, either. Jordan knew why I hated chains and would never do that to me.
I slowly put the laptop down, got off the bed as quietly as possible, and grabbed the aluminum baseball bat I always have sitting beside the nightstand. I was barefoot, so I didn’t make a sound as I tiptoed to the bedroom door. I slowly went down the hall, looking in all the doors-which we keep open at all times due to my paranoia-and made my way to the great room. It is an open space that combines the living room, den, and dining room. What I saw made me let out a silent scream and break down into sobs. Chains were hanging from the ceiling. Some had handcuffs attached at the end, and some had hooks. I couldn’t tear my eyes away. A hand landed on my shoulder, and a voice said, “I’ve missed our games, Kayla. Time to play.”
**************************************************************
I shot up from the bed, dropping the laptop on the floor, and looked around the room franticly. I started crying, even though I knew it was just another nightmare. I was never going to be able to have a normal sleep again. All this time had passed and I still couldn’t close my eyes without those images coming back to haunt me.
My laptop had broken in half because it was open when it fell, so after I washed my face, I picked it up off the floor, taking it to Jordan’s office. I knew he would be able to fix it.
I looked at the clock and saw I had missed lunch, and it was getting to be time for dinner. Jordan would be home soon. I sent him a quick text message asking him to stock me up on my Red Bulls, caffeinated teabags, and No-Doze. I needed all the help I could to stay awake. I had drunk my iced tea, but I was out of Red Bulls, and look what happened. I could get by several days with just light dozing and not actually sleeping and reaching the REM cycle of my sleep where I dream, but I always end up crashing out for a day to catch up. The thing with that is, even the crash wouldn’t refresh me because of the nightmares.
I just don’t feel safe anymore, even with my big brother here. I try to hide it from him, but he knows. I can tell he feels bad that he can’t help me more, but he is amazing. I couldn’t ask for two better brothers than the ones I have. I was just too messed up in the head for them to help me. I t wasn’t their fault.
I went into the kitchen to make supper, and for the next hour, lost myself in listening to my Bose stereo system and cooking my special home-made seafood jambalaya. I was doing the dishes I had used while cooking, when Jordan walked in with grocery bags hanging off his arms.
“Sis, I smelled your cookin’ from out in the driveway.” He said. “You are an angel from heaven. I haven’t eaten since breakfast, and I am sooooo hungry.”
I went to help him put the bags down then turned and signed, ‘You are not supposed to skip meals William Jordan.’ I crossed my arms over my chest, and gave him my best ‘you know better’ look.
“Don’t look at me like that, Marti. I bet you didn’t eat either.” He looked pointedly at me. “You never stop to eat when you’re writing. Even when you’re not writing, you don’t take care of yourself so don’t lecture me. I was trying to hurry so I could get home to your cookin’.”
I started to tear up realizing how much of his freedom he’d given up to come home to watch out for me.
‘I’m sorry J. I know I don’t have room to talk.’ I said
He came and gave me a big bear hug. “Please don’t cry. I wasn’t fussin’. I just worry about you.”
I pulled away from him so I could sign to him. ‘I know you worry. I worry about you, too. You used to go out. You used to have girlfriend, or I should say girlfriends, but you stopped. You gave everything up to come take care of me. I feel like I’ve messed things up for you.’
“No, Marti. I wanted to come here. If I had been here…”
‘No! That happened because I was stupid!’ I signed with rapid, jagged movements to emphasize I meant it. ‘Don’t you dare play the ‘what if’ game. No one is to blame except for me and that phycho. I knew better than to…’ I couldn’t finish. I couldn’t think about it anymore or I’d break down again, so I turned and started putting the groceries up. Jordan helped me, and then he fixed drinks while I fixed us each a bowl.
“Did you make good progress on your book today?”
‘No. I only got one chapter done and didn’t even get to the editing of that.’ I usually edited as I went along since I was my own editor for this first book. I had decided to publish it as an e-book if I couldn’t get a publisher interested. That way I could establish myself as an author and it would be easier to gain the attention of the publishers if my name was already out there.
“What happened? You usually get more than that done. You had all day.”
‘I fell asleep.’ I knew I didn’t have to explain beyond that. He knew about my nightmares and virtual fear of sleep because of it.
“Oh. Hey! Did James call you?” He asked. I knew he was trying to change the subject and get my mind off the topic.
Just then the phone rang. “Get that. It must be him calling now.”
I have a phone with a keyboard attached so I could type what I wanted to say. I looked at the caller ID and sure enough it was James.
I picked it up and typed ‘Hello’.
“Hey Sissy! Has Jordan told you my good news yet?” His voice was deep, but it was as bubbly as ever. He always was hyped up and chipper. Not much could ever get him down.
‘Yep. He told me at breakfast, so what took you so long to call and tell me?’
He waited for me to type and for the voice machine to talk. It was kind of a slow process to have a phone conversation, but he and Jordan never had a problem waiting. They were happy to have a way to talk to me when they weren’t there.
“Sorry, please don’t be mad, but I was just getting everything ready for the move. I even found rental space in Fort Mill to use as an office, AND I already have a job offer to design the new Town Hall there, SOOO I’ll be there tomorrow if that’s okay.” He said. I could tell how excited he was.
‘Of course it’s okay! I can’t wait for you to get here. I’ve missed you so much.’ I typed. ‘And you need to go ahead and bring Shelby, too. She can live here with you until you build your own house.’
“No. Shelby’s just going to visit on weekends. She still has one semester left before she can transfer here to do her internship at the hospital in Rock Hill.”
‘I just want you to let her know that she is welcome here. Tell her I can’t wait until she is finally my sister.’
“I’ll tell her. I’ll see you tomorrow, Sissy. I love you.”
‘Love you, too. Bye.’
“Bye.” He said before he hung up.
Jordan had been opening the mail while I’d been talking to James. He turned to me with a letter in his hand.
“Guess who is coming home.” He said with a smile. “This is from Toby. They are finally bringing the troops home. He said once they get stateside, him and Tory will be moving to reserve status. Troy is being honorably discharged. He won’t have to serve anymore after all of his injuries.”
‘What injuries?’ I asked. I never opened the mail, so Jordan always read the letters from the trips first. I had never read one saying anything about one of them being hurt.
“Oh, daggumit! I wasn’t supposed to tell you. They knew you’d be upset.” He said. I could tell he was upset with himself for letting it slip. “Before you get mad at them, remember what you are keeping from them. Every time they have been able to call, I’ve covered for you. None of you can get mad at the others.”
‘I know. You’re right.’
I was feeling so many things at the moment. Ecstatic, impatient, sad, scared. Things had changed, but I still loved my boys. They were finally coming home to me, and even I didn’t know how I’d react. I was happy they were coming, but would I be able to be around them? For a year and a half I have panicked if anyone came near me other than my brothers. Would I be able to handle the trips?
Chapter 2
I was looking at myself in the mirror, trying to see myself as others saw me. My brothers had told me after everything happened, that I was still beautiful, but I had never been beautiful. I had always just been average. I have a good complexion, though I have a scar from my right ear to the right corner of my mouth that mars it. My skin color matches that of my brothers, a caramel color because of our mixed race. Daddy was black and Mommy was white. Our Mommy used to get complimented about her beautiful children wherever we would go. Looking back into the mirror, I looked at my hazel eyes. They seemed dull to me. You used to be able to see the sparkle in my eyes, be able to tell how I was feeling. Maybe that was why they were dull. I just felt numb most of the time. I didn’t take time with my hair anymore. I would just put the moisturizer in it, and then put it in a pony tail. I was 5’6 and not fat, but not thin either. I was thick, with curves. At least that was the way I looked at it.
I wondered, not having seen the trips in two years, would they like the way I look now? Nah, I had too many scars. Unless I wore a body suit with a mask, gloves, and shoes. But it was too hot right now to get by with that.
I got dressed in a pair of jean shorts and a purple tank top and slid on my purple flops. I was going to spend the day at the creek writing since Jordan had fixed my laptop last week.
I had spent the weekend with James catching up on all the happenings with him, but he was going to start working in his office today. I really wished he would turn one of the other rooms into an office for himself, but he said clients needed to be able to have easy access to him, and we lived kind of far out of town.
“Hey, Sissy! Will you please come with me today?” James said coming into the bathroom behind me. “I’ll even set you up with an office in the back so you won’t be out in the open when people come in.”
I shook my head. ‘I don’t even go to town anymore. I can’t be out in the open. You know that.’
“Cooommmme oonnnnn.” He whined while bouncing up and down. “Pleeeeeaaasssee!”
‘You sound like a five year old.’ I signed, laughing silently.
“Well, we’ve had such a good time this weekend; I don’t want it to be over. Plus, we used to plan this business together. I would design all the cool buildings, and you would take care of the business. You would be both Jordan’s and my business manager. That way we all would always be together.”
‘I know that, but you also know things changed. I never even finished getting my degree. How could I be the manager now?’
James got a sad look in his eyes. “I know that things changed. Things happen sometimes, but you can’t shut yourself away for the rest of your life. Let me and Jordan be your crutch. We are worried about you.”
‘I can deal with this on my own.’ I lied. ‘I’m not going to bring you two down.’
“You’re not bringing us down, Marti. We are trying to hold you up.” He said quietly. “Please just try for me. Just today, and if you can’t handle it, I won’t ask again.”
I sighed. ‘Alright.’ I knew James really wanted me to go, and I just couldn’t tell him no. ‘I’ll go make our breakfast, and then we can go. I will honestly try.’
“Yay!” He immediately started bouncing again with a huge smile on his face. “Can you fix me waffles?”
********************************************************************
As we rode through town in James’ Ford F-150, I kept my head down and read a book so I wouldn’t be able to see anyone we passed, and I could take my mind off it for a bit. It didn’t work though. I started sweating and hyperventilating.
“Come on, Sissy. We’re almost there. You’ve done real good, you can make it.” He said as he grabbed my hand and squeezed.
We finally reached his new office not long after that, and I made a bee-line for the door because there were people walking down Main Street. I knew people would be curious and nosey as to who the people are that moving onto the Main Street strip. I know that most people either know us or at least know of us. I didn’t want anyone coming up to me. James could deal with all that.
I unlocked the door with the key James gave me and walked in. It was an amazing office. It was an open floor design that had pedestals with models of some of James’ building designs, and there was a huge reception desk in the middle. Along the back wall were a bathroom, a water cooler, and a glass enclosed office with James’ name on a nameplate on the door. It looked like it was made of gold. In that office there was a mahogany desk, a chair, and a drafting table. On the left wall of the main space was an office that only had a window to be able to look out to the back of the building to where the town park was. If the door was closed, there was no window to be able to look in. I noticed that on this door was a gold nameplate with my name on it. He had already planned on me coming with him. I could tell how much he really wanted this. I would do my best for him.
The day was spent organizing the little things, and I went over the books that he had kept from when he was in New York. He had moved there after he had graduated college, and had done very well for himself. Even if his company took a while to get established here, it would still be in the black from all the business he had had while up north.
People had come in throughout the day to welcome James. They all had asked about me, but I wouldn’t come out of my office. When everything happened a year and a half ago, it had made national news and was a big story, so of course a small town like Fort Mill would still be talking about it. James never gave any details. He just told them that I had recovered and that I was up and around. I had spent a month in the hospital, and then a month of in bed rehab at home. After that, it took six months of home physical therapy for me to finally be on my own two feet.
Toby, Tory, and Troy all wrote about once a month, but I had asked my brothers not to tell them what happened. Whenever they came home on leave, Jordan would make up some excuse as to why I wasn’t around. I didn’t want them to see me as I was. I was ashamed, and also the fact that I knew they’d have to go back. I didn’t want them to worry about me and then get injured because their mind wasn’t where it was supposed to be. They were Spec Ops for different branches of the military. Toby was an Army Ranger specializing in communication, Tory was a Navy Seal specializing in technology, and Troy was in the Green Berets as a computer specialist. He and Jordan both had always been good at anything having to do with computers, so it made since that they would both get a degree in computer technology. I was very proud of them. They each had made it through the intensive training on their own. They had also each gotten a degree in their specialty so that benefited their group.
They would each come home at different times next week.
******************************************************************
The rest of the week went like that, but the well wishers and visitors dwindled in numbers to where, on Friday, only the Mayor and a special committee for the town hall rebuild were the only ones to come in.
It was Saturday morning and Shelby had come down for the weekend. I was fixing breakfast for us and James, Jordan had gone to Georgia on business for the weekend, and we were trying to decide what to do for the day.
“I’ve never been to Carowinds before. Can we go there?” Shelby asked. She was a very sweet, very petite, blond. She had the same color of hazel eyes as me.
“Not today, honey,” James answered. “Jordan’s not home and I don’t want to leave Sissy here by herself all day.”
That made me angry. I was older than him and he acted like he had to babysit me. I was twenty-five years old for goodness sake! I could take care of myself. Before I could retort, Shelby spoke back up.
“I was talking about all of us. I would never leave her out, she’s like the sister I never had.” She said.
That was so sweet. I felt the same way towards her. We talked on the phone every other day almost. Not to mention the times she came with James for visits. We had gotten real close
“Sorry sweet.” James answered. “I thought I had told you when you asked why she never came to visit us. Marti suffers agoraphobia. She had a fear of people and crowds. That’s why she never goes anywhere unless she’s with me or Jordan, and unless it’s a place to where she won’t be around anyone else.”
She looked at me. “I’m so sorry, Marti! I didn’t know. We can do something around here.”
I was using my voice keyboard to be in the conversation since Shelby wasn’t proficient in ASL yet. ‘No. Why don’t you and James go to Carowinds. I’ll stay here and write some more on my book. James acts like I need supervision. I can be and have been on my own. I won’t hurt me.’
“I’m sorry, Sissy. I don’t mean it like that. I just worry that something will happen, and I won’t be around to help. Like last time. I’ll never forgive myself for that.”
I flinched when he said that, but I couldn’t let him blame himself. ‘That was not your fault. That was me making stupid decisions, and trusting someone I didn’t know. It would have happened even if you two were here. I can’t stand that y’all blame yourselves.’ I gave him a big hug and a kiss on the cheek.
Just then Jordan walked in. I got up, ran to him and threw myself in his arms for one of his bear hugs.
“Man,” He laughed. “Somebody would think I’d been gone for a week instead of just one night.”
I backed up so I could sign to him. ‘What happened? Why are you home early?’
“My Mustang broke down. I had to call a tow truck, so I rescheduled my appointment and rented a car to come home.”
‘I’m sorry it didn’t work out for you, but I’m glad you’re home.’ I told him. ‘I have an idea. Why don’t we go outside and play two on two soccer?’
“Sounds great!” James said, then turned to tell Shelby what I had suggested.
“I haven’t played since middle school, but I used to be pretty good. We could do boys versus girls. I bet Marti and me would kick your butts.” She said getting excited.
We played three games, always switching the players around, and had a lot of fun. At lunchtime we went in and ate cone deli sandwiches I had fixed up.
‘Why don’t y’all go to Carowinds now?’ I said to James. ‘Jordan can tell you that he’s left me before, and I’ll be alright. I’ll stay around the house.’
“What’s goin’ on bro?” Jordan asked.
“I just didn’t want to leave Sissy here by herself. In case something happens.”
“Look, Marti can take care of herself. She stays here by herself all the time as I have to leave for appointments.” Jordan grabbed the wrist that had my bracelet on it to show James. “I made this for her. It’s along the lines of the Life Alert system. All she has to do is press the pendant.” He said as he pressed it. As soon as he did, his bracelet started beeping like a pager. He pushed a gold plate on his bracelet to make the beeping stop. “It lets me know she’s in trouble, and I get to her as fast as I can.”
James and Shelby had been watching everything when Shelby finally spoke up.
“That’s really cool, but how do you know where to find her? You can’t hear her if she screams.”
Jordan took out his Droid Razor phone and clicked on an icon with my name on it. “This is basically a GPS that is tuned into her bracelet for me to be able to find her. If she is taken again,” I flinched as he said that. “Or if she loses the bracelet somehow, I have implanted a chip in the back of her neck that has the same frequency, so we will still be able to find her.”
James shot out of his seat. “YOU CHIPPED HER LIKE A DOG?!!!” He yelled.
I stood up and went to him. ‘I volunteered when he asked me. I would rather be safe than sorry.’ I signed, and he started to calm down. I had tears in my eyes because I was thinking of what had happened to me. ‘If I had had this when he got me, He wouldn’t have been able to take me where nobody could find me, and he wouldn’t have been able to…..do the things he did for two weeks. I can’t live through that again. But I won’t completely give up my life waiting for him to come back either.’
“What do you mean waiting for him to come back?” James said.
I hadn’t meant to let that slip. I looked at Jordan. He just shrugged his shoulders. He had told me to tell James about the e-mails and letters. I looked back at James and saw him looking between me and Jordan.
‘Don’t be mad at J. He told me to tell you, but I didn’t want you to worry more than you already were.’ I told him.
“What has happened?”
‘He started sending me e-mails and letters saying he missed me and was going to come for me. That was when I changed my e-mail account. We don’t think he knows where I live, since our mail goes to a PO box.’
James turned to ask Jordan if he’d gone to the police.
“I took all the letters there, but they haven’t found anything. No fingerprints and they have a different postmark each time.”
“This is why we shouldn’t leave her on her own, Jordan.” James said.
“She is an adult. Are you going to take all her freedom away? She can make her own decisions.”
They went back and forth. Shelby just looked at me with sympathy. I took the keyboard, turned it to loud and typed.
‘SHE IS RIGHT HERE!!!’ It yelled.
The boys both turned my way and muttered “Sorry”, and Shelby snickered at how much they sounded like little boys.
I had been using my sign language to talk, but after remembering Shelby, I used the keyboard.
‘I can make decisions for myself, and, even with no voice, I can speak for myself. From now on, James, I’ll always let you know what is going on. But I won’t let you run my life. It’s working right now. I have a routine that I stick to that now includes working with you. I love both of you, but let’s just act like this conversation never happened, and go back to the way it was before.’
Eventually James and Shelby went to Carowinds, but Jordan didn’t want to go. He said he’d been up most of the night waiting for the tow truck, calling the shop about sending it there, and finding a rental car. He went to his room and laid down for a nap.
I went and took a shower since I was all dirty and sweaty from the soccer. When I got out and got dressed, I took out my laptop and settle down to write. After about an hour, I heard knocking at my window. There was no way I was going to open the drapes to see what was going on, so I went to Jordan’s room and woke him.
‘Someone is at my window.’ I signed.
Jordan jumped and went to sneak out the back door. I followed just to wait in the great room. I couldn’t hear anything and He’d been gone for ten minutes. I was about to call the police and put on the emergency recording Jordan had made for me when the front door banged open, and I saw a huge figure standing there blocking out the light.
Chapter 3
I wasn’t going to wait around. I knew it wasn’t Jordan, so I ran. I went out the back door and into the woods. I knew a thousand hiding places I could go, and then I could text James and let him know that something had happened to Jordan. That was the only explanation. I knew he’d never allow someone in our house willingly. I started crying. What if the phycho had gotten to him? I could never live with the knowledge of me being the reason one of my brothers were hurt. They were my life. They were all I had left, and here I was running away like the coward I was, but I couldn’t make myself turn around to check on him either.
I ran past the creek onto the triplet’s land. There was a group of trees and bushes that were gathered in a way that created a hollow space inside. It was kind of like a cave. I had found it on one of my many explorations over the years. I had even lined it with a tent on the inside to make it rain proof.
I crawled inside and sat down. When I reached for my phone in my pocket, I realized I had left it in my room. So I just sat and waited and cried and prayed that Jordan was still alive.
All I could think of at that moment was about how all of this was my fault. I could remember how my nightmare began with me being lonely and someone acting sweet to me and listening to my problems. I had met a man online who went by the name of Blain Robinson. We met in a chat room about books and were discussing the latest Laurell K. Hamilton book. We would always read books together, discussing them afterward and comparing opinions. We had both had such a love of reading. Blain said that reading was his escape from past memories he’d rather forget, but that still tormented him. He would never go into detail, but I supported him and told him I’d always listen if he needed an ear. We talked over e-mail and phone for four months.
When I moved to Florence to attend Francis Marion University, Blain asked if we could go on a date since he just lived one town over. I, being stupid back then, told him yes. He took me to a park and pushed me in a swing while we talked, and then we went out to eat. It was so romantic in my opinion. So after that we started dating regularly. After about two months of dating, he tried to get me into bed with him. I told him I wasn’t ready for that, and he seemed understanding. Two days later, when he picked me up for our date, he attacked me. He ended up injecting me with something that knocked me out.
I woke up in what he called his ‘play room’ chained to the wall, naked. He told me that I was his perfect slave, but he just needed to train me. He explained the roles of master and slave to me thinking that I would agree to the arrangement. When I started disagreeing with him, he gagged me and beat me with a whip until the whole front of my body was covered in blood. He told me that when I talked back, or even made a sound, that there would be consequences. He gave me a sponge bath and sewed up some of the cuts that were too deep to heal on their own. Blain said that it was his job to take care of his slave, and that he knew what was best for me.
He then tortured me getting worse and worse until during one of his ‘punishments’, the whip he was using missed it’s mark, when I jumped, and he got me in the throat. I had lost my voice from screaming anyway, so I didn’t notice it was permanent. When I woke from that, he was gone, and I was no longer chained but laying in a bed. I still don’t know why he let me go that day just to say later he wanted me back.
I came out of my thoughts when I heard Jordan calling for me in the distance. There was another voice calling out, too. A voice I hadn’t heard in two years. I quickly crawled out of my hide-away and ran towards the shouts. I came to a halt when I saw a tall hulking figure beside my brother. He had shiny black buzz-cut hair, sharp cheekbones, a perfect nose, and full red lips. A tear rolled out of my eye when I realized that I couldn’t bring myself any closer to him, but I still couldn’t take my eyes off of him.
Toby and Jordan both started coming towards me. I took a step back, scared of him getting any closer. Jordan realized and came to me and gave me one of his bear hugs and whispered to me.
“I didn’t tell him anything yet.”
I just nodded and started walking with him, and hiding behind him at the same time. I was trying to hide while I was still unable to stop watching Toby.
“No hug for me, Pea?” He asked
All I could do was shake my head.
“Come on and walk back to the house with us.” Jordan said. “I know you don’t understand, but could you walk in front of us a little.”
Toby looked at us skeptically. “Of course, but what’s going on? What’s wrong?”
“It’s not my story to tell, Toby, but I think Sis will explain a little when we get there.” Jordan answered sadly putting his arm around me.
I turned to him so Toby wouldn’t see, and signed, ‘I can’t tell him what happened.’
Jordan leaned down to me. “Just tell him as much as you are comfortable with, but he deserves some explanation.” He whispered in my ear.
I nodded.
When we were almost home, Toby turned his head to ask, “Will you not even talk to me, Pea? Are you mad at me?”
“She’s not mad at you, man. I swear.” Jordan answered for me.
“J, dude, can you at least tell me if she was really not home all those times, or was she avoiding us?”
“She was home most of those times, but it’s not what you think. Just give her time to explain.”
I could tell Toby was getting upset. “It doesn’t sound like she’s trying to explain anything.”
I looked at him, tears spilling down my cheeks, pleading with my eyes for him to understand.
“Please,” Jordan said. “There is a good reason, just wait a minute.”
“I’m going to, but you know I’ve never been patient. This here is a completely different reception to me coming home than what I was expecting.” He wouldn’t look at me as he said this, but I could tell from the sound of his voice that I was hurting him by not talking. I took a deep breath, reminded myself that he would never hurt me, walked up to him, and took his hand in mine. His hand was so much bigger than mine.
He looked down at me and gave me a curious smile.
We finally made it to the house and I led him to the kitchen and indicated for him to sit in the stool at the island. Jordan stood propped on the counter and I walked to the breakfast nook to sit where my keyboard was, Toby watching the whole time.
I typed, ‘I can’t speak anymore.’ And looked at him, waiting for a response.
Toby looked from me to Jordan and back again, confused.
“Say what?”
‘I am mute. My voice box was damaged beyond repair, so I can no longer speak, scream, laugh out loud, or any of the things that make sound besides breathing.’
He sat up straight on the stool. “WHAT? Why? What happened?”
‘I had a bad relationship about two and a half years ago. It lasted for about six months. It turns out that he was crazy.’
“Oh my God. Pea, is that where all the scars came from?”
‘Yes. He kidnapped me and held me for two weeks. I can’t talk about it.’ I said pushing the keyboard away.
“Why didn’t anyone tell us in any of the phone calls or letters?” When he thought for a minute he asked, “We got leave together two years ago for the funeral. I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone.”
I brought the keyboard back over to me and typed. ‘At that point I had only talked to him in emails and on the phone. I wasn’t dating him. We didn’t start dating until after I started college.’
“Well that thing is cool, where’d you get it?”
After that we just talked about the things Jordan had made for me, and the fact that I could use sign language to communicate. Come to find out, the trips had an uncle that had been deaf, so they knew ASL to be able to talk to me. The rest of the evening was spent catching up until after supper, Toby and I went on a walk.
Chapter 4
As soon as we stepped out of the back door, I knew where we would head. I walked a little to the back of Toby, paranoid of having someone to where I couldn’t watch them. I knew it was stupid. The trips had always protected me. They would never hurt me. My heart knew this, but my thick head kept getting in the way.
“Are we going to avoid conversation?” Toby asked, looking at me with one eyebrow raised.
‘Of course not. Why do you ask?’ I signed.
“Well, I can’t walk backwards to watch you speak, so it would be nice if you joined me up here.”
I just looked at him warily for a minute. I guess he could feel my conflicting thoughts, because he stopped, turned to me, and grabbed both of my hands. I flinched at the contact, but didn’t take my hands away.
He looked into my eyes, I guess to try to read what was really going on, before he spoke.
“Pea, I’ve always cared so much about you. The four of us have had a connection from day one. We didn’t let too many people in back then with all the crap going on in our family at the time, but we all took one look at you and knew you were something special. None of us would ever hurt you in any way. You mean too much to us. You know that right.”
I did know that, I never had any doubt about it, so I nodded. I took my hands from his grasp so I could sign what I wanted to say.
‘I do know that, Toby, but you have to understand that I haven’t had any contact with people other than my brothers and doctors since it all happened. I can’t even let the doctors touch me if J or James is not there. Even with my brothers it took a while before I could tolerate their touch. I’m going to try really hard, because you boys mean a lot to me too.’ Of course I was in love with them all, but I couldn’t tell him that. ‘You have to be patient with me. Like just now. I flinched, but you kept hold of my hands. My first reaction will be to pull back or run for a while. I’m trying to get past what has been done to me, but it is difficult. Just please realize that it is not you personally that I’m reacting to. It’s just instinct now.’
“I can live with that. Just as long as I know it’s not me. Come on. I haven’t been to our place in a long time.” He said. He grabbed one of my hands back and we started walking side by side in comfortable silence.
There was a harvest moon out; you know the huge bright moon, so everything was illuminated for our walk. I could hear the crickets chirping and the grass, leaves, and undergrowth was damp from the dew already forming. The creek was surrounded by the green overgrowth if vines and bushes. We found our rock, well more like a boulder, on the side of the creek for us to be able to sit comfortably. It had always been our rock. Troy had even carved all of our names into it.
We sat side by side for a few minutes, listening to the water bubbling over the big smooth pebbles underneath. It had always been a place I went to get some peace, and to be able to think.
Toby turned to me, pulling one knee up and propping his arm on it, while stretching out his other leg. “I know you started out at the University, I won’t ask you to talk about what happened, but I was wondering if you ever got your degree.”
I turned to him and sat Indian style so he could see me more clearly. My heart had sped up when he mentioned the University, but he said I wouldn’t have to talk about it, so I calmed down.
‘I did drop out of college, but I ended up finishing my classes online and got my Masters Degree in Business Management.’ I signed.
“I knew you and your brothers had planned on working together. Are y’all doing that?”
‘Well, James just moved back a little over a week ago. He is renting an office space in town, and guilted me into working in the office with him. It’s not too bad, I have my own space, but I have an attack if too many people start coming in at one time. Other than that, it is alright.’
“What kind of attack do you have and why?” He asked
‘I keep forgetting you don’t know stuff. I have quit a few phobias now, a couple of them being the fear of people, crowds, and open spaces. It’s stupid I know.’ I looked down blushing. I hated the fact that he would see how weak I’d become.
“Look at me.” He commanded. It took me a minute to have the nerve, but when I looked up, he spoke softly. “Don’t hide your face from me ever. There is nothing to be ashamed of. You are beautiful and strong. You’ve been through some rough shit, but so have we all. We all have our own scars, both physical and mental, but we’ll heal and move on.”