ON A WHIM AND A WAVE
by Lura Bennett
When Molly discovers a bottle containing a letter under the stilts of her river house her life goes from calm to chaotic. Mermaids exist. Una Agua, a mermaid, becomes Molly’s pen pal. Suddenly Molly finds herself changing in ways previously thought impossible.
ON A WHIM AND A WAVE by Lura R. Bennett Copyright © 2012
Smashwords edition January 2012
All rights reserved, including the right of reproduction, in whole or in part in any form. This short story is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents either are products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental
ON A WHIM AND A WAVE
This story begins with the discovery of a letter in a bottle. I, Molly Brennaman, never would’ve thought that any of this was possible, but the following letters are proof.
* * * * *
The Finder of This Bottle
Ohio River Waters, Shores, or Otherwise
October 8, 2013
Dear Finder of This Bottle,
Since you are reading this, you have opened a bottle emblazoned with Open at Your Own Risk. Thus you have entered a contract expecting to take part in risks. My name is Una Agua, and I am completing my siren apprenticeship in land-based non-lethal long-distance bottled human defense tactics. Enclosed you will find a temporary contorting hex, which you are probably already excitedly experiencing.
I would appreciate a return letter detailing the date you opened the bottle, explaining the effects of the hex, duration hex lasted on your person, etc. Your reply should be slipped into the bottle, just as you found my letter. The cork needs to be reinserted, then you will see your letter disappear from inside your bottle on its departure to my receptacle. Once reinserted, leave the cork in place until something appears in your bottle, then you may uncork and repeat the above directions as needed.
I understand this process can be very confusing to a human, but do not be shocked. Your bottle need not be returned to the river. It is yours to keep, considering it is bound to you now as a link between us, and will stay in your possession despite attempts to rid yourself of it. My professor and I will review your letter, and I will send a reply, which will appear in your bottle as described above.
May the waters flow calmly for you,
Una Aqua
* * * * *
January 3, 2014
Dear Una Aqua,
My name is Molly Brennaman, and I found your kooky bottle washed up on the garbage cluttered sandbar beneath the stilts of my riverside house. I didn’t see the Open at Your Own Risk emblazonment until after I’d already uncorked the bottle, intending to empty the contents and add it to my collection.
You might not realize this, but given the Ohio River is muddy, and the bottle was coated with a layer of mud, your warning was obscured. I wouldn’t have participated in this venture had I seen the warning, but as my nose has already painfully swollen to the size of a mango, I see that I have no choice in the matter.
I am very good at documenting, considering I am a nurse, so I can tell you the details succinctly. With regards to your hex, the process of swelling was slightly more painful than my experiences with natural childbirth, and I imagine less so than being maimed by a mental patient shoving me down the laundry chute at work, thank goodness that hasn’t happened, yet. However, considering my Labrador retriever puppy, Regina, got startled and bit my nose as it was swelling, I am sure that added to the tear-welling pain.
My nose started swelling at approximately 9:32 a.m. and had returned to its normal size by 5:30 p.m. Thankfully in time for me to keep my dinner date with my oldest daughter, son-in-law, and two grandchildren, Timmy and Kathy, twins age two and cute as can be.
Although, I must say I believe this ordeal to be crackpot, I’m used to crackpot. I’m sure I’ll run into the writer of this note at the hospital tomorrow, and we’ll laugh, and you’ll tell me what it was that made my nose swell and what I did to deserve it. I must have really pissed you off. But until then, best of luck with becoming a successful siren, or where ever else your heart may take you. Aren’t sirens the same thing as mermaids? Is that why the slimy paper like stuff your letter is written on is green and smells like sea water?
Thank you for the beautiful bottle. I’ve decided to use it as a vase if I do not receive a reply from you within it over the next week, but I’m keeping the bottle regardless, so if this is a joke don’t ask for it back. I collect bottles.
Best regards,
Molly Brennaman R.N.
* * * * *
January 4, 2014
Dear Molly Brennaman R.N.,
I appreciate your prompt response. Both Professor Silt, and I am pleased to hear the contorting hex was painful, yet extremely temporary. It seems as if my non-lethal long-distance bottled human defensive skills are improving. Thanks to your participation and feedback I received the highest mark in my class as humans would refer to it, but even a class in Sirenese is technically called a minor school, as ichthyoids travel in schools.
To answer your question about mermaids being the same as sirens, there are distinct similarities, but mermaids are solely ocean dwellers and have tendencies to be narcissistic, shell collectors, tempters of flesh, tricksters of seafarers, have more elaborate tapered lace-like tail fins, and lovely voices. Sirens can inhabit either salt or fresh waters, but tend to prefer rivers. Sirens aren’t focused on outward appearances, but rather on resolving aquatic pollution, and have shrill voices. Lorelei, a rocky cliff on the Rhine River in Germany, is a well-documented siren inhabited area. Lorelei is not a name synonymous with siren, as I find humans, through incorrect folklore, are led to believe.
I am sorry your puppy bit your engorging nose. I am not fond of dogs, dog fish, or catfish that tend to bark like dogs. Enclosed you will find some algae salve that will heal any remaining wounds or marks your nose might have.
Also, since the passive and engaging phrasing of your letter indicates you are a good-natured candidate, who did not pointedly tell me not to send along anymore hexes, bound to this letter I have enclosed another more pleasurable temporary land-based defensive hex. Same as before, I would appreciate it if you would write me a return letter explaining the effects of the hex, duration hex lasted on your person, etc. This might surprise you, but most humans I have hexed have been threatening.
In closing, because you asked about my letters being green, I will tell you. Similar to human paper, this is made out of pulped and compressed vegetation, though a variety of aquatic vegetation. The ink, though I doubt you will believe me, is mermaid product, harvested in concentrate from their octopus farms and deposited into hollowed coral sticks, functioning much like your human ink pens.