College Graduate: From Classroom to Cubicle
What they didn’t teach at “Party U.”
By K.M. Nason, Jr.
Published by K.M. Nason at Smashwords
Copyright 2012 by K.M. Nason
* Co-Workers * Goldfish Bowl – the office * Don’t be too smart!
It’s your first day at work. You are right out of college and your feet barely touch the ground lately because you have a job – a good job! After years of working nights and weekends for minimum wage, you are about to make an obscene amount of money – at least it feels that way. And you are right – the first couple of months managing your first real salary will be both exciting and tricky – especially now that you pay the rent, utilities and for your own food! Imagine that Dad!!! But what will it really be like that First Day, First Week, or First Month? Transitioning from academia to the “real world” takes a little adjustment. What appeared to be stressful and grueling at “Party U”, that senior year, will suddenly appear like the “good ole’ days” when things were slower and at a pace to your suiting. There’s some complicated and confusing stuff coming your way during this “bridging process” from classroom to office/cubicle. Questions like – “…how can I tell who is telling me the real scoop and who is setting me up for a fall” or “...who knows what they are talking about and who is just a “talker?” or “…who is a real friend and who is a “user?”, “Will working extra hours get me noticed or will it just get me more work?”
In the following pages, I will cover these and some other topics that should make your transition as smooth and de-traumatizing as possible. It’s good to remember however, that it is almost always perfectly natural to be “stressed” during a major life change event. This is one such event – right up there with death, marriage and giving a speech in front of 50 people. So don’t punish yourself if you are slightly apprehensive. (...a little advice from second hand experience-if you are one of the almost zillion young adults who have been prescribed anti-anxiety medication, taking a double dose on the 1st day is a “no-no!”. Take your prescribed amount just like any other day! OK, I have said my piece on this). Wherever possible, I will rely on empirical data/evidence to back up my conclusions and points, but most of what you will read in the following pages are anecdotal in nature and based on “first hand witness” experiences that has been derived from my 28 years in the aerospace, banking and retail business world. Just for fun, you might be interested in knowing that it’s more complicated to know how many white, medium, long sleeve Polo shirts there are at any point in time at the New York store than it is to build an “F-16E” fighter jet with zero defects! I swear! So let’s get going. We’ll touch on the 1st day of your new job and some easy, simple steps you can take to alleviate as much stress and potential embarrassment as possible. Then we will dissect some of the “minions” (co-workers) that you will be interacting with and what their “game” is; what’s motivating them and more importantly, what are they thinking about this new “person” that’s invaded their space; and are you a threat?
So here is goes….Good Luck!
The first day of your new job out of school will almost always be stressful. There are those rare breeds that only “Armageddon” would get their attention…if you are one of those guys or gals, you can skip this part if you prefer. Here are some helpful tips for that “first day” that can make it easier and a lot less stressful.
Dress
Most people either don’t give it a second thought or over-think it to death about what to wear on day one. Most think that since I am now a professional (and you are…), I should dress like a professional (…and you should). But one of the most common mini-blunders of “day one” is that you will “over-dress”. While this is in itself not catastrophic, it can be totally avoided. A lot of offices now allow workers, even professionals, to dress casually. Upper management has learned that workers are both more productive and happier when “dressed down” slightly. Of course there will always be standards to follow. Don’t show up in a tank top with “Daisy Dukes” shorts. (Baby boomers only get that one…). But being over-dressed on that first day is like wearing a sign that says, “...Hey, look at me - I’m NEW!”. So when you interview, make a mental note of what people are were wearing in the different work areas. But be careful that you weren’t interviewing on “Hawaiian Friday”. Most offices now allow nice slacks and comfortable double knit shirts for guys and slacks and tasteful tops for the ladies. (Skirts at least to the knees though ladies…just to be safe) If you are not sure, remember it’s better to over-dress than vice-versa. When overdressing, at least for the guys, slipping the tie and jacket off can have you fitting right in within seconds. You will be good to go and not be worried the rest of the day about looking like the undertaker at Uncle Bob’s funeral last year. For ladies, it may be a little more problematic to make the adjustment. But one thing to remember; overdressed ladies are almost always less noticeable than overdressed guys and can usually pull it off a lot easier. Another one for the girls…
Arrival (be on time….really?)
Be on time. But don’t be early. There is nothing more disconcerting than the boss getting a call at 7:30am from the front desk saying that Suzy is here waiting for you. More than likely this is when Mr. Boss gets a lot of his or her paper work done before the herd arrives. So it can put him or her in a bad mood - first thing. Here is the better method to employ. Be on time but never more than 5-10 minutes early. If you are the type that has always been in the habit of being 15-20 minutes late to class or whatever, better clean that little routine up. If you are 30 minutes or 1 hour late that first day due to getting lost, going to the wrong building, etc. Don’t freak out. This happens quite often with new employees and bosses never give it a second thought. However, please keep in mind that bosses will begin to take notice if you get lost 4 to 5 times a month coming to work; don’t do it. When you arrive, more than likely, you will have to wait for some period of time before your escort arrives. Don’t be surprised if it’s not your boss either. 99% of the time, on your first day, you will be tied up with a human resource person for at least 2 to 3 hours filling out paper work. More on that in the next article…One last thing, HR (human resources) people are almost NEVER early. So keep that in mind when arriving for that first day of adventure. If you don’t want to wait out in the lobby like a “puppy dog in the window” for all to assess and inspect on that first day, remember about timing mentioned above.
Introductions what fun!
Ok. This can be a crap shoot. First day “introductions” all depends on your boss or their boss. Let’s take a look at the two extremes.
Extreme Number One: Your “boss” is so happy to have you on board and have a “new” subordinate that he/she will literally try to introduce you to everyone from the CIO to the head of housekeeping (just a note about housekeeping personnel – always be friendly to them; all of them. When it comes to getting your blown light bulb replaced or keeping your garbage can empty, they are the ones that make it happen. These types of things, while the last thing on your mind, can quickly become important. So remember, a little friendliness in this area can go a long way). In the process of this eight hour parade that your boss will escort you on through the building don’t be surprised if you don’t remember one name when it’s all over! Don’t worry….no one does! This is really more of a face recognition drill. Believe it or not, you will remember just about every face you see. Don’t worry about the names for now, that will be something that will come with time and it will come as you need it....promise. This little “parade” does serve a useful purpose however. As you go through the carousel from one co-worker to the next there are certain things to look for that can be helpful later. You can often glean information like, who was cordial and made eye contact? Who were the ones who were ecstatic that a new co-worker arrived and who were the ones that could barely make eye contact and could care less? (What, am I bothering you? Sorry!). Interestingly enough, the latter types (…stop bothering me please) are sometimes the ones who actually turn out to be the more helpful co-workers later on. Not always, but this is sometimes the case. They may in some cases gravitate towards you! I have not found a pattern to this phenomenon…it’s just random. But one theory is that they are hard workers and they may want to see if you are someone that can be groomed for success before all the buffoons get to you.
Extreme Number Two: Wow! Your boss said “hello”; “welcome aboard”, showed you your work area and then said “goodbye.” Good luck! So now a million things begin to run through your mind like; where is the bathroom? Who is sitting next to me making all these animal sounds? (…more on that later too) What? Am I a “salmon trying to make it upstream to spawn?” You may start the feel that way. Just hang on though. The first things that will occur to you are questions like – where do I start? Anything? “I have a computer in front of me that I guess I will turn on….surely I will use this for something, right?” “Oh No…it’s asking me for my account and password..*&&*%%$! OK, how about account, “heyImnew” and a password of, “ifeelikepuking”. Maybe that will work?! Relax. The initial feeling of frustration and mini-panic, and to some degree anger are normal. Process it, and then put it away. Just think about the obscene amount of money you getting ready to make for knowing,,,err,,,oh,,,nothing! (…um, did I already mention that-never mind) Decide to work on stuff you can control. Hey, you saw the bathroom and water fountain coming in, let’s make a quick trip down the hall and freshen up some. Straight back now; don’t get lost in the maze so keep your first foray a simple and quick one. Hey, you know what? You just accomplished your first task of the day. Stupid? No; not at all. Now check your office. How about some pens, pencils and some post-its. Every office needs these - you will too. So, let’s push the envelope a little…let’s take a trip to the supply closet. You can start down the “water fountain” route again or take a different turn. Chances are- scratch that – you will run into someone walking around without a doubt (these people are called “walkers”) kindly ask them if they could please direct you to the supply closet as you are new and would like to gather some basics…if it’s not too much trouble of course. (…oh, and it never is too much trouble. You have made their day probably). When you arrive, if the escort (“walker”) is still with you, don’t let them try to load you up. You are there for a very small grocery sack. For you first trip there, you will only want to get a few things that we mentioned above. If it’s more that you can carry in one hand, then think about making two trips out of it; maybe one for later. Just grab a box of pens/pencils, some “post-it” notes and maybe a stapler. Ok…you have now performed two tasks and have maybe done more work than 20% of the people in your area already. You are own your way. You will be surprised how easily the other stuff begins falling into place. Believe it or not, Mr. / Mrs. Personality (your boss) has shown back up. He/she wants to know if you need anything. This would be a good time to get some assistance on logging in or at least who you need to speak with regarding such. I know we have been hard on “Extreme number 2 boss”, but in reality, he/she does want you to succeed. He/she after all, “hired” you or had a major impact in seeing that you were hired. So for now, just cut the boss some slack and let “them” get up to speed. (Okay, you should be laughing just a little). One other thing, ask the boss if they can show you how to make an outside call. I know it should be simple, but there are 728 flashing buttons and switches on this new phone…just saying? Chances are, some kind soul has already stopped by and got you going to some degree on a lot of the “administration” pieces of day to day life in “Cubiclestan” - so this is good. Don’t worry about this kind soul being a “player” (more on that later) just accept any assistance from this angel for now. More than likely, they know you are new and they simply want to help in some way…take it. Besides, he or she was probably designated by the others to go into your work area and get the “scoop” on you. Be nice and courteous…but hurry, your co-worker has to get back out to the others and file their report on you!
In conclusion for our first section (Day One), each day will get exponentially better and easier until you reach that point of “diminishing returns” of office life. Once this is attained, you then begin to separate yourself by skill and determination. But for now, you have gotten “Day One” over with - at least the hard part. So congratulations! Oh, and as far as when it’s time to “leave for the day” that’s a subject for another time…for now, just watch the others in the office and follow their lead…but eight hours please…at least for a while.
In the next section, let’s talk about these “people” who will become your family away from home. These people that you will, in essence, spend about one third of your life with….Oh my Lord….
As of this writing, jobs are tough to come by; so congratulations! You’ve made it in the door and actually have an office (or at least a cubicle). Whether you know it or not, (you probably do….) this is a great accomplishment. On “Day one”, everybody knows more than you on just about everything in regards to the “office dynamics”. So for the first couple of weeks, the adage of listen more, talk less, holds true! I’m not advocating turning into a “potted plant”. Just measure your words and actions for a little while.
Gossips
Not much to be said on this subject. You will spot these creatures soon enough. Some early tell-tell indicators are as follows: they hardly know you and they are taking you into their confidence by telling you some fairly intimate stuff about people that you don’t even know. This is not to be confused with a co-worker who is giving you a “tip” about someone or something, that is quick and to the point. An example of gossip would be, “…her husband, I think, is just out of rehab, and he is not doing well.” Watch out for these types. An example of a useful “tip” would be. “…John is a stickler for rules, so make sure you have all your paper work in order when you work with him”. As long as that’s it…this is a useful “tip” to be remembered for later.