By Kirsten Osbourne
Published by Kirsten Osbourne at Smashwords
Copyright 2011 Kirsten Osbourne
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
Susie had known from the time she was a small child she would marry Mark. She had her entire life planned out. When she was nineteen her life spiraled out of control as her fiancé married her college roommate instead. Years later, she returns home to Texas to help her mother. She runs into Mark on the evening of her return and he turns up everywhere she looks. He’s now a widower with twin sons. Does she dare give him another chance?
Kirsten Osbourne’s website is at: http://kirstenosbourne.com
Chapter One
Susie hung up the phone and sat staring at it for a minute. She really didn’t want to go home. Her mom needed her, though, and she’d be there. Of course, it wasn’t that she didn’t want to see her mom. She did. She was more than happy to help her. She was having knee replacement surgery the week that school was out and she’d be there to help her no matter what.
Susie had been teaching high school English for nine years now. She’d only been home for a day or two at a time during those years. Now, she’d be going home for the summer. The whole summer. She could handle it. She hoped.
She wasn’t worried about seeing her mom or her dad. They were both as great as they’d always been. She was worried about seeing Mark. They hadn’t come face to face since he’d dumped her for her college roommate. She just didn’t want to have to deal with all the old emotions.
Three weeks later, she was in her car pulling into her mom’s driveway. She couldn’t believe how much Arlington had grown in the years she’d been away. The brief glimpses of her hometown had never taken the place of how it had looked while she was growing up.
She got out carrying an overnight bag and a suitcase. She had everything she needed right there. She would live in shorts all summer. Texas summers were hot, and she knew that she needed shorts and tank tops to combat the heat. She’d miss her cool Colorado summer, but she wouldn’t complain.
She glanced at the house next door, knowing that Mark had moved in with his wife, Jennifer, as soon as they’d married. She didn’t want to see them. She didn’t even want to catch a glimpse of them. She and her mother had made a pact years ago that her mom would just stop talking about Mark and Jennifer. She, in turn, would be willing to speak to her mother. She just couldn’t listen to it all anymore.
She walked to the front door and knocked briefly and then walked in. “Mom? I’m home!”
Her mother, a plump woman in her early sixties, hobbled into the room as quickly as she could on her bad knee. She spread her arms wide and pulled Susie into her embrace. “It’s so good to see you, Susie.”
Susie reached out and hugged her. “I’ve missed you, Mom.” Susie was only five feet four inches, but that was several inches taller than her mother. Susie didn’t carry the weight that her mother did, but other than that they were practically identical.
“I’ve missed you, too. I wish you’d come back home where you belong.”
Susie sighed. “Let’s not start this now. Okay?” Beth had been saying the same thing for the past nine years. She hated it that Susie had moved out of state, but the further from Mark she was, the better.
Her mother, Beth, nodded. “Okay. How was your trip?”
Susie sank down into a chair. “It was good. Long.” She always enjoyed long drives, though. They gave her time to think and clear her mind, which was exactly what she needed right now. She was trying to decide if she wanted to keep working in Colorado, or maybe find a school further away. She had an offer from a school in Seattle, and she needed to make a decision within the next month or so.
“I really wish you’d flown. I’ve been a nervous wreck knowing you were out there driving all alone.”
Susie laughed. “I had my phone with me. You could have called anytime.” She’d gotten the phone to start with so her mother would always have access to her. Now, she’d gotten so used to it, she didn’t know what she’d do without it.
“I didn’t want to cause you to have a wreck by making you answer while you were driving!”
“I have a speaker phone and I know how to use it. It would have been fine. And I really wanted to have my car here for the summer. I don’t want to have to drive yours everywhere.” She looked out the window at her trusty jeep. It was perfect for driving in the Colorado winter.
Beth shrugged. “It would have been fine. It’s not like I’ll be driving anywhere. Not with this knee.” She frowned down at her leg as if it would make everything better.
“I know. I just prefer to have my own transportation. I’m used to the jeep.” She stretched her arms over her head trying to get some of the kinks out of her neck from the long drive. “What time is your surgery in the morning?”
“I have to be at the hospital at eight. The surgery is scheduled for ten. Nothing to eat or drink after midnight.”
She nodded. “Okay. Is Daddy going to be home for your surgery?” Her father had been traveling for his business since she was a little girl. He was gone as often as he was home. Her parents seemed to like it that way. She didn’t think she could handle her husband being gone half the time.
Beth shook her head. “He offered to take a week off work, but I’d rather he didn’t. He’d just fret about it and get on my nerves.”
Susie laughed. She knew her mom was right. Her daddy was a worrier, and would spend the entire week hovering over her and pacing the house. It was better if he was just gone for it. “Does he even know when the surgery is?”
Beth grinned. “I told him it was next week. That way, by the time he comes home to check on me, it’ll be all over and I’ll be better. He does know that you’re coming this week, though. He thinks we’re having some fun before the surgery.”
“I’ll put him off,” Susie said with a sigh. Her daddy called at the same time every evening. She understood automatically that it would be her job to tell him that her mom was unavailable for any number of reasons she could think up. They’d done it before.
Beth got to her feet. “I thought about fixing your favorite meal for dinner, but you eat so differently now than you used to. I thought I’d take you out instead.”
Susie nodded. “That works. Is it okay if I get a quick shower first? I feel all grimy after that long drive through West Texas.” Every time she’d gotten out of the car to pump gas, she’d felt like she was covered with another layer of grime and sweat.
“Sure, baby. You do that. I still have to pack my bag for the hospital anyway.”
Susie wandered through the house to her old room. It wasn’t just as she’d left it. Her mother wasn’t that sentimental, but it did still have her old bed and old furniture. The walls had been stripped of her posters of the bands she loved, and now had tasteful paintings decorating them. That worked for her. She wouldn’t have wanted to stay in a shrine to the girl she’d once been.
She made quick work of unpacking and took a long hot shower. The feel of the water pounding on her back and neck was exactly what she needed. She let out a low moan of pleasure.
She dressed in a pair of navy shorts and a soft pink tank top. The tank went great with her long blond hair and blue eyes. It had always been her favorite color to wear. She slipped on a pair of white sandals and walked into her mother’s bedroom to check on her. “You ready, Mom?”
Her mother snapped shut her suitcase and set it on the floor beside the door. “I’m ready.” Her eyes skimmed up and down her daughter. She was always surprised at how good she looked. The mountain air did wonders for her. “You gonna be able to handle the Texas heat this summer?”
They walked to the front door. “Of course, I will. It’s in my blood after all. I’ll drive. Where do you want to go?”
“I thought we’d go for some good Texas barbecue. Maybe it’ll make you miss home enough that you’ll want to stay.”
Susie laughed. “We have barbecue in Colorado, Mom.” Not as good as barbecue here, but she wasn’t going to bring that up.
Beth sniffed. “I’ve had it. It doesn’t compare to Texas barbecue.”
“Of course not. What could compare to anything in Texas?” She said it as if she was humoring her mom, but she definitely agreed.
Beth handed Susie her keys. “I don’t think I can climb into that jeep of yours. Drive my car.”
Susie nodded, taking the keys and walking to her mother’s car. She slid into the driver’s seat and adjusted all the mirrors while waiting for her mom to settle herself. She backed out of the driveway. “You wanna go to the place on Cooper?”
“That sounds good. I want some fresh hot bread.”
Susie smiled. She’d never admit it to her mom, but she’d been dreaming about that bread for the past week. She couldn’t wait to sink her teeth into one of the rolls. She drove automatically through the streets of Arlington. She’d learned to walk there. She’d learned to drive there. And she’d learned to love there. She’d never admit to her mother just how much she missed it.
The drive only took a few minutes and her mother regaled her with tales of her friends as they drove. Most of her time, especially for the next few weeks, would be taken up with helping her mom, but after that, she’d have some time to catch up with old friends. Everywhere she looked was filled with memories.
They were halfway through their meal when Susie noticed a familiar face behind her mother. A man was approaching the table with twin boys. He smiled and said, “May we sit with you?”
Susie wanted to say, “No.” It was on the tip of her tongue to do so, but her mother automatically slid in to make room for him. Susie slid over and the boys slid onto the bench beside her.
The boys were mini copies of the man. Susie had known she wouldn’t be able to avoid him all summer, but why had she run into him on her first night in town? What evil thing had she done as a child to deserve this? And where was Jennifer?
“Hi, Susie. Beth told me you were going to be spending the summer here.”
She smiled. “Hi, Mark. It’s good to see you.” She was surprised at how steady her voice sounded as she lied. It wasn’t good to see him. Seeing him made her want to throw a temper tantrum that would impress a two year old.
Mark knew that was a lie, but he didn’t say anything. They hadn’t parted on good terms, and he knew that it was mostly his fault. “Have you met my boys yet? Sitting next to you is Michael and on the outside is Matthew.”
She nodded at the boys. “Hi.”
“Hi,” Michael said. “Are you Meemaw’s Susie?”
Susie closed her eyes for a moment. Mark’s boys called her mother Meemaw? That’s the name she’d always wanted to be called by her grandchildren. The grandchildren that Susie and Mark had promised her many years ago. Why would she let Mark’s boys call her that when she knew it would hurt Susie?
“I am. It’s nice to meet you.” Susie hadn’t even known that Jennifer and Mark had twins. It had been over ten years since she’d told her mother that as far as she was concerned, Mark didn’t exist, and she refused to listen to another word about him and his perfect little wife. “How old are you two?”
“Nine. We’ll be ten in August,” Matthew answered.
“Wow. When I was your age, your daddy was my best friend and we did everything together.”
Michael nodded. “He told us all about you. It used to drive mom crazy that he would talk to us about you.”
Susie tried to hide her smile of glee. She loved the idea that her memory had driven Jennifer crazy. “It doesn’t drive her crazy anymore?” That made her sad. She wanted Jennifer to be driven crazy by her memory every day for the rest of her life.
Both boys stared at her in shock. She looked quickly from her mother to Mark, trying to figure out what she’d said wrong. “Jennifer died two years ago,” Beth said softly.
Susie closed her eyes for a moment. She couldn’t believe she’d just been having such bad thoughts about a dead woman. “I’m sorry,” she said sincerely. As much as she resented what Jennifer had done to her life, she didn’t wish her dead.
“Thank you,” Mark answered automatically. He didn’t know why. He wasn’t sorry his wife was dead. Marrying her had been the biggest mistake of his life.
They ate silently for a moment, and then one of the boys started to talk about his big plans for the summer. “We’re going to be going to a daycare this year because of your surgery,” Michael said. “I wish we could stay with you like we did last summer, though.”
Susie looked from her mother to the boys. There was obviously a solid bond there. She wasn’t surprised that her mother had been watching the boys during their summer breaks. She would have been surprised if she hadn’t. She sighed. She couldn’t not offer. It just wasn’t in her. “Do you boys want to stay with us this summer? After next week, of course. Mom will need a week before she’s up for company every day.”
Matthew started bouncing in the seat. The excitement was clear in his brown eyes. “Can we, Dad? Please? We want to get to know your Susie.”
Mark looked at her. “Are you sure? You’re going to have your hands full this summer already.” He wanted her to do it. It wasn’t the money. He could afford a day care. He wanted Susie to get to know his kids. He wanted her to be back in his life. Forever.
She laughed. “I think Mom will heal a lot faster with someone to love around her.”
The corner of Mark’s mouth twisted up. “I’m sure you’re right.” Beth had always had a huge capacity for love. She’d loved him enough to forgive him for hurting her daughter. He didn’t deserve her forgiveness, but he was thankful for it every day of his life.
Before they finished eating, she’d made plans with Mark for the boys to come up and visit her mother in the hospital that week. As she and her mother left the restaurant she hugged each boy in turn. “We’ll see you next week!”
She drove home slowly not letting herself think about what she’d just agreed to do. She knew it was best for everyone involved. Except for her, of course. Her feelings couldn’t take precedence, though. How could she do what was best for her?
Chapter Two
Mark punched his pillow into shape for the fifth time in less than an hour. He just couldn’t make himself sleep. Susie was right there next door where she belonged. His Susie. How could he sleep, when all he could do was think about her? The memories came flooding back.
An eight year old Mark knelt in front of a gumball machine at the front of a grocery store. He had his entire life savings in his pocket in quarters. He’d ridden his bike to the store. His mother didn’t care. She rarely cared what he did. She was too busy with her own life. He’d been a mistake and she’d told him that regularly. He was so happy to be a part of Susie’s family. Her parents treated him like he was theirs.
He put another quarter into the machine and closed his eyes trying to will the ring to come out of the machine. The little plastic eggs were all around him, each discarded because it didn’t hold the ring that he needed. He turned the crank and watched another egg drop. He opened the little door holding his breath. Darn. Another stupid necklace. He couldn’t ask Susie to marry him with a necklace. He needed a ring.
One last quarter. That was all he had. He put it in and turned the handle. Opening the door, he saw it. The ring. He had no money left, but he had the ring, and that was all that mattered. He opened the egg carefully and stared at it. Susie would be so happy.
He stuffed the ring in his pocket, and left the other eggs littering the floor. Several children ran over and grabbed what they wanted from the pile. He didn’t care. He had the only object that mattered. He had Susie’s ring.
He rode his bike swiftly through the streets. Susie lived around the corner from him and his parents. He rode straight to her house and knocked on the front door. Her dad answered. He must be in town for a few days. “Hi, Mr. Long.”
“Hi there, Mark. You want to come in?”
Mark shook his head. “No, sir. I have a question to ask you, and then I’d like to see Susie.” He knew the right thing to do was ask for Susie’s hand in marriage. He could do that. He wanted to make Susie and her parents happy.
Susie’s dad smiled. Mark had always loved his eyes. They twinkled just like Susie’s did. “What did you want to ask me, Mark?”
“Would you step outside with me, sir?” He didn’t want Susie to overhear him asking her dad for permission to marry her. If she heard, he wouldn’t be able to surprise her with the ring.
Mr. Long stepped onto the front porch, and Mark led him to the driveway. “I want to ask for Susie’s hand in marriage, sir. I know we’re young. We’ll wait until we’re old enough to marry, but I want to ask her to be my wife today. I bought a ring and everything.” He held out the ring to show her dad.
Mr. Long stroked his jaw as if considering the question. “Well, why do you want to ask her today if you know you’re going to have to wait so long to marry her?”
“I want her to know how I feel. I don’t want her head to be turned by the next boy that comes along. She has to know that I love her and will stick by her through anything.” Mark’s face was earnest as he said the words. David Long had always been impressed by the serious bent the boy had. He never seemed to want to play frivolous games like the other kids. He’d been born ready to take on the responsibilities of the world.
“That’s good thinking. You go right ahead and ask her to marry you.”
Mark smiled and shook hands with David. “Thank you, sir. I’ll take good care of her.” He would devote his whole life to making Susie happy. He had a purpose now. No one could take that purpose away from him.
“I know you will.”
“Would you ask her to come outside now? I’d like to ask her to marry me.” Mark took a deep breath to steady himself, but found he wasn’t nervous at all. Susie was his soul mate. He didn’t need to be nervous. They were meant to be together.
David Long walked into the house and sent his daughter out. He and his wife had stood watching the two kids out the front window.
Susie came running outside with her usual happy smile. “Hi, Mark!” Susie smiled at her friend. She loved to play with Mark. She hadn’t been expecting him today, but she didn’t mind. If Mark was here, then she was happy.
Mark smiled. “I have an important question to ask you.”
She looked at him and matched his serious tone. “Okay. Ask me.” Maybe he wanted to ask her to his birthday party. His birthday was next month. Of course, his mom never threw him birthday parties. Her mom did, though. Yeah, that was probably it. He wanted to ask her to his birthday party.
Mark had dropped down to one knee on the driveway and pulled the ring from his pocket. “Susie Long, I love you with all my heart. Will you do me the honor of being my wife someday when we’re old enough?” He’d practiced those words over and over. He’d seen someone propose on TV once, so he knew exactly how it was supposed to be done.
Susie squealed when she saw the ring and clapped her hands. “I would love to marry you!”
Mark stood and slowly pushed the ring onto her finger. “I’ll love you until the day I die,” he’d vowed. There was no way he could stop loving her even if he tried.
Susie hugged him. “I’ll love you for even longer.”
He smiled at her. She was a little taller than him at their stage in their lives, but that would change and they both knew it. He pulled her close to him and gave her a peck on the lips. “I know kissing is gross, but you have to kiss to seal an engagement,” Mark said wisely. Secretly he didn’t think kissing was gross, but you were supposed to think that when you were eight.
Susie nodded. She didn’t think kissing was gross. Not when it was Mark kissing her. She pressed her fingers to her lips and stared at him with wide eyes. She was engaged and he’d kissed her. She was the first girl in the whole third grade to get engaged. She couldn’t wait to tell her friends.
Mark smiled as he thought of it. He rolled to his side and the memories kept coming. On their prom night, all of their friends had been planning on having sex for the first time, if they hadn’t already. He and Susie had talked about it, but had decided that they wanted to wait until after they were married. Already they knew that Susie was going to UNT for college after graduation, and he would stay in Arlington and work for his father’s construction business.
She’d looked so beautiful that night. When he’d said goodnight at her door, he’d pulled her close and kissed her. He’d wanted so badly to give in and just have sex. Of course, he knew it wasn’t what Susie wanted, so he wouldn’t even try to get her to do it with him. He’d wait. He’d do anything for Susie.
Then came the nightmare of her first year at school. They’d planned to talk on the phone every single night. She’d live in the dorm, and he’d be living with his parents still. For the first couple of months, everything had worked out just like it was supposed to. He’d called at seven every evening. They’d talk of his day at work. Her classes. Anything. They couldn’t wait for Thanksgiving break so they’d be together.
It had been awkward at Thanksgiving, but it had been okay. So was Christmas. He’d loved the longer break they had together. Then the second semester started. She wasn’t in her room for his nightly call. Her roommate kept taking the calls. She finally, after a month of not reaching Susie, told him that Susie had another boyfriend.
He’d driven up there to find out for himself. Susie hadn’t been in their room. He didn’t know where she was. Her roommate, Jennifer, had been there though. They had talked. Jennifer had hugged him just as Susie walked in the door.
Susie had turned red. “What are you doing here?” she’d demanded. She’d wanted to see him so badly, but he never called anymore. Now he was here, and he was hugging Jennifer.
“I came to meet your boyfriend,” he’d yelled back. How dare she make accusations when she was the one running around on him?
“What are you talking about?” Boyfriend? She’d had one boyfriend since the day she was born, and he was standing in her dorm room yelling at her.
“You haven’t been in your room for my calls. I’ve talked to Jennifer every day.”
She had turned her back on him then and left the room. That was the last real conversation they’d had. Jennifer had taken to calling him every evening, and they’d formed a friendship. He knew now that he’d hooked up with Jennifer just because he thought it would hurt Susie. And he’d wanted to hurt Susie. Very badly.
They’d gotten married that summer. What was the point in waiting?
Susie finished school and moved away. She’d avoided him on every single visit home.
Jennifer had confessed on her deathbed that Susie had asked that he start calling her at nine every night, but that she had never passed the message along. Susie had such a heavy load that semester that she’d been putting in extra hours in the library. Jennifer had told Susie that he’d just quit calling. She’d done everything she could to keep the two of them apart. It had worked.
It hadn’t taken him long to realize what a jealous vindictive witch Jennifer was. He had just decided that he couldn’t stay with her another day when she’d announced she was pregnant. The twins had been the only good thing ever to come out of their marriage. He’d wanted to find Susie as soon as Jennifer died, but Beth had advised against it. She’d known that Susie wasn’t ready to talk to him yet. He’d seen on her face tonight that she still wasn’t ready. Of course, Susie was the most loving giving woman he’d ever met. She’d be taking care of his boys, and he’d get to see her. Maybe he could convince her of how their past had been manipulated. Of course, he never should have fallen for any of it. He should have stuck by her.
He rolled over again staring at the clock. He’d never get any sleep.
*****