Get Tequila, Get Smashed,
Speak Spanish Fast!
By Lawrence Chandler
Copyright
2012 Lawrence Chandler
Smashwords Edition
Smashwords Edition License Notes:
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
INSTANTANEOUS
SPANISH FOR GRINGOS
40,000 Words of Spanish You Already Know, and You Won’t need Tequila to enjoy reading them.
They are in English, Spanish, Spanglish, Gringlish, Spinglish and Espanglish.
Read the introduction or do not buy this book!
This is ten times funnier than any other language book and will make you read it. We make fun of everyone except Arabs.
3.5 Million Copies Already Sold to Close Relatives
Guaranteed to be the best or we send you a check. Pick any page and compare it to the competitor’s page, and buy the winner.
Hispanics are buying this book to brush up!
TABLE OF CONTENTS
CHAPTER 3 – STRESS MARKS AND STRESSES
CHAPTER 6 – DON’T SHUN “TION” WORDS
CHAPTER 7 – MOST “TY” ENDINGS TURN INTO “DAD” ENDINGS IN SPANISH
CHAPTER 8 – ADD AN “O” TO THE ENGLISH WORD; and “asm” and “ismo” ENDINGS WORK SIMILARLY
CHAPTER 9 – ADD AN “A” AT THE END
CHAPTER 10 – ADD AN “E” AT THE BEGINNING OF MANY “S” WORDS
CHAPTER 11 – ADD AN “E” AT THE END
CHAPTER 12 – MOST “LY” ENDINGS (ADVERBS) TURN INTO “MENTE” ENDINGS
CHAPTER 13 – THE “CIA” CHAPTER: MOST “y’s and e’s” ARE TURNED INTO “IA” or “IO.”
CHAPTER 15 – THE “ADO” CHAPTER
CHAPTER 16 – THE “ANDO” CHAPTER
CHAPTER 17 – “OSO” DIFFICULT CHAPTER
CHAPTER 19 – THE “LOOK ALIKE” LIST
CHAPTER 20 – DON’T BE MISTAKEN, THESE LOOK ALIKE BUT ARE NOT THE SAME!
CHAPTER 21 – DOWNSIZING AND UPSIZING
CHAPTER 22 – HELLO’S AND GOODBYE’S
CHAPTER 25 – USEFUL PHRASES IN BABY TALK
CHAPTER 26 – VERY COMMON AND USEFUL PHRASES: “FRASES” IN ESPAÑOL
CHAPTER 28 – OTHER COMMON EXPRESSIONS
CHAPTER 29 – OTHER USEFUL PHRASES
CHAPTER 30 – NOT SUCH USEFUL PHRASES (Frases)
CHAPTER 31 – SIGNS AND SOUNDS YOU WILL NEED
CHAPTER 32 - ESSENTIAL COLORS (unless you are color-blind)
CHAPTER 33 – LAST CHAPTER—VERBS
CHAPTER 34 – ODDS AND ENDS, “Está” is temporary, “Es” is permanent
First of all you should read this introduction because it is written in English, presumably your native language. And we are not going to use any big words. This introduction will set the framework within which you are going to laugh and learn Spanish. You will learn that this language is very much like English, except that they talk funny. If you don’t laugh on every page we have probably failed in our job and our mission. We are masters in both languages but are going to take the liberty to mess with both languages in terms of misspellings, grammatical rules; things that get in the way of enjoying yourself in a new tongue.
The whole point of the book is for you to use thousands of words you already know so you won’t have to study hard. We assume you are as lazy as we are.
Occasionally, just to prove that we are pedantically(ftnote1) oriented, we will put in very small font footnotes to illustrate that we really know what we’re talking about as we give you misinformation in the large print. However the misinformation will help you learn Spanish, while the footnotes will bore everybody except professors of the language. Don’t read our footnotes-that’s why they’re in font so small; to discourage you. (Gringos; a supposedly derogatory word for all Americans and others who speak English. It derived from “Green Go!” which is what the Mexicans wanted us to do with us and our green uniforms during the Mexican American “war”.)
You are also going to be amazed that there are so many English and Spanish words that are identical in every way, except that they talk funny. Once you learn pronunciation, you can talk Spanglish funny also. The bad thing about the common English-Spanish words, is that they are usually multiple-syllabled, and the English version may not be a working part of your vocabulary, unless you are a high school graduate. So in a sense, you’re going to learn more of your native tongue and become overall more intelligent sounding, and understand concepts derived from Latin more easily. If you pay attention to this book, we are teaching you both English and Spanish for the price of only a Spanish book. Give the extra price that you’re saving to your favorite charity; we are doing this for fun not money. O.K., we’re doing it for the money, and half the team also wants the fame that brings babes.
1 .Pedantic means schoolish and scholarly to an absurd degree.
Some people have complained that they didn’t want to learn Spanish because it is mostly spoken in Third World countries. Our answer to that is: Number one, they are all moving here due to our open borders, so what are you gonna do?: and Number two; there are a lot of people all over the world to practice with such as in the Philippines, Spain, and all of the Americas except Brazil, Belize and northern parts of the United States (Maine, New Hampshire and Vermont.) Number 3: Spanish is easier than any other language when you’re an English speaker. Number 4: they are outbreeding everybody. Therefore it will probably be the language of the future. Especially more likely if any of them should ever invent anything or discover anything besides UFOs over Mexico City. Number 5: they are not going to learn our language; Number 6: you do want to be able to boss them around, don’t you Number 7: you do want to know what they’re saying behind your back, don’t you? Number 8: Spanish is an official language of the United Nations; what other language would you want to learn—french? Why?, so you can speak it in the remaining non-Arab parts of france, pockets of Vietnam; and Tahiti-- one of the only good things the french (we know it should be capitalized under normal circumstances; but not in this book) held unto but which is too small and far away and expensive to do readers of this book any good. And you can’t be proud of them because their Battle Flag is a white star on a white background. (Why are all the roads leading into Paris tree-lined? So the Germans can march in the shade.)
Meanwhile, the German language has three genders (male, female, and neuter), along with their two distinct accents (high and low German) and they have a tendency to push all words into one loooooong one, and spell with curly-que English letters, which are hard to read, and harsh to hear. Some wags have commented that German is only good for arguing with a mule when you don’t have a 2” by 4” in your hands. Furthermore, most Germans speak English fluently so there is no point in struggling with them in their own language. Meanwhile, the German colonization program under Hitler did not work out well, so German is not much spoken around the world.
The authors posit to you that there are no other serious languages an English-speaking people could learn that would be useful. Learning an Asian language would be extremely painful, as would Russian, Arabic, Korean, Serbo-Croatian, or any language which uses a different alphabet, numbering system, and strange sounding consonants and vowels. Therefore, it becomes Spanish by default. (You will not need tequila to have a good time learning in this book, but if you do, eat the worm and the book will make more sense. If this sentence is meaningless to you, ask any bartender).
The authors take no responsibility for anything wrong in this book but will accept full credit for everything that is helpful. We used spelIcheck, grammar check, and dumbcheck, so if anything is amiss, it has to be the fault of the publisher, or your lying eyes. Of course it could mean that we are off our meds and into our alcohol.
By the way, you are kidding yourself if you think reading one hilarious book on Spanish is going to make you a knowledgeable tourist that can have his way with the locals. They are going to know you’re a Gringo from 150 yards away no matter how thoroughly you read this book. At the end, we will give you some useful phrases that will not get you into trouble. We would like to teach you a bunch of dirty words and phrases but that would really prevent any high school from picking up our book and using it as a course book (2), which would hurt our profits. We also recognize the potential for dirty phrases to get you beaten up in foreign cities. Better to stay dumb than to hurl epithets in a foreign language. (2). Yeah, like that’s about to really happen.
These words are called “cognates”, and you will love them. Cognates are words that are spelled similar, have similar meanings and are pronounced similar.
Simply stated, you already know them except for saying them a little funny, so you will be understood when you say them and also understand them when they are said to you. We don’t want you to have to learn new words. You have plenty in English. You will have to learn about 250 new Spanish words to take advantage of what you already know.
Many of them you already speak with a Spanish accent. A good ‘for instance’ would be “adiós”. Although it’s not a cognate, you would readily agree that you already know how to pronounce it, even when drunk, and that you know it means goodbye. We nick-named it one third of a congnate since the only thing it lacks is, similar spelling and similar pronunciation. The one third that it does have, is that it means “goodbye.
You already know Spanish!
Arnold Schwarzenegger already taught you some stuff! :
¡No hay problema!, ¡Hasta la vista baby! and you have a chance to learn “hasta” means up to or until and “vista” is sight, meaning ‘til I see you again. Remember forever, that the written “H” is never pronounced in Spanish. You can write this in stone or on your bathroom wall. So you would say AAHS-tah lah VEES-tah.
Note that we are using obvious phonetic spellings with the stress in all caps so you will know where to make the loudest stress, or accent. We’re using this method because virtually no one understands standard dictionary phonetic usage. We will tell you the actual stress rules of Spanish later, but we wanted you to get a feel for the language before we bore you with the 2 rules. Once you read the 2 rules, you can look back over these words and find that it works every time. (OK, not every time, but close enough for government work-as we used to say in the military.) Meanwhile we will put in a footnote for those of you who want to either be picky or move on to higher level Spanish after we peak your interest in the language.)
Hasta la vista, (leave off the “baby” because in Spanish it really means a tiny person (bebé) beh-BEE, whereas in English it means a chic.) Remember again, your eyes do not see the H, so it is “AAHS-tah”.
Amor – [ah-MOHR] this word is recognized all over the world as love. You already have felt amorous in you life.
Botas – [BOH-tahs] Justin Boots out of Texas are popular.
Padre –[ PAH-dreh] this word is recognized all over the world as father, mainly due to Catholics.
Panarama – panorama [pah-noh-RAH-mah]
Patio –[ PAH-tee-oh] (their word, so don’t use the English “a” as in pay)
Pronto – everyone who ever watched a western movie or TV show, knows this means “soon” or “right now,” in movies involving Mexico. Otherwise, it just means “soon.”
Fiesta –[ fee EHS-tah] (you probably know this is their word for party)
Tomorrow – Mañana [mahn-YAH-nah] this is the day that all Hispanics promise that it will be done. Because it can be repeated daily, the job can last into the weeks and still be within the broad confines of “Mañana.” Their notion of time to meet you or for the appointment is just as slaphappy.
Siesta –[ seeES-tah] hopefully you know that this is the typical Mexican nap after lunch in the heat of the day
Test = same
Spray = same (English word exception to the “ah” rule.
Divan = diván [deeh-VAHN]
Jazz = same, this is another English “A.”
Vámonos –[ VAH-moh-nohs] this means “let’s go”, and is used in every Western movie after they rob the bank and mount their horses. Okay, probably a few Gringos robbed banks also, but it was so rare that I bet the only name you can remember is Jesse James.
Carrera – (which means racing in Spanish but in English is the name of a Porsche) –[ cah-RREH-rrah] Sometimes Carrera 4-meaning 4 wheel drive is seen on the back of a 911 Porsche. Macho point: the two RR’s together make a much stronger sound than the single R. Hispanic men think it is more macho to roll their double RR’s really hard. Domineering women do the same thing; (just to give you a head’s up.) And by the way, this same word is used when you are talking about your professional career (carrera).
Mundo – world the same word meaning world, all over the world. See the old movie “Mondo Cane” which translates to “It’s a dog’s world. It’s got to be in the top 20 of all time good movies. (Google it, please.)
We thought we would give you a little humor here...” This is a takeoff from the country song, “Sometimes you’re the bug and sometimes you’re the windshield.” Sometimes you’re the stick and sometimes you’re the Piñata.
“El Cheapo” – contrary to what we wish, this means nothing in Spanish. Perhaps if we say it enough, we can get them to use it since it is more fun than their version which is “Barato” [bah-RRAH-to]
“Una más cerveza” – which should be Una cerveza más, in correct Spanish. [UU-nah] [ ser-VEY-sah] [mas]
The following words are so obvious; we won’t give you the English translation. Please note that although the spelling is the same, the pronunciation is the entire secret. Once you get the melody, you’re well on your way to saying them correctly. One clue that will always hold you in good stead when speaking Spanish: the stress on the syllable can make it or break it. If they don’t understand you when you’re stressing the 2nd syllable, try stressing the first or 3rd.
Abdominal = [ahb-doh-mee-NAHL] (note again that we are using obvious phonetic spellings with the stress in all caps and bold so you will know where to make the loudest stress, or accent.
Accessible = accesible [ahk-seh-SEE-bleh] (no “bull” in Espanol)
Accidental = [ahk-see-dehn-TAHL]
Acne = [AHK-neh] Exactly the same word.
Acre = [AHK-reh] Exactly the same word.
Actor = [ahk-TOHR]
Actual = [ahk-tuu-AHL] (We say “chu” in English, they do not.
Actuarial = [ahk-tuu-ah-ree-AHL]
Adhesion = adhesión [ah-deh-SION] (notice that they pronounce the “d” instead of the “h,” but if you say it fast no one can hear the difference.)
Admirable = [ahd-mee-RAH-bleh] (not “bull” as we incorrectly say it)
Admissible = admisible [ahd-mee-SEE-bleh]
Admission = admisión [ahd-mee-CION]
Adobe = [ah-DOH-beh] (a brick made out of mud and straw good for housing in the Southwest if covered with a protective paint or coating. Insulation is fabulous. Also stops bullets well.)
Adorable = [ah-doh-RAH]-bleh very much like marvelous. Not necessarily a Metrosexual word in Spanish- as it is in English.
Agenda = pronounced [ah-HEN-dah], because of the rule that G with an E following is always pronounced like an H. We will repeat this many times, do not worry about losing track of it.
Aggression = agresión [ah-greh-CION]dropping all the unnecessary double letters really makes Spanish shorter and spelling easier since it is mostly phonetic.
Aggressor = agresor [ah-greh-SOHR]
Album = álbum [AAHL- boum]This is where you put the ugly pictures of your recent trip to a foreign country where you tried to speak Spanish but failed.
Alcohol = [ahl-COAL] (you will really need this a lot! For drinking, for shaving (hepatitis in the water), for emergency deodorant, instant shower, freshening your clothes, mousse for your hair, first aid kit such as cuts, for washing all fruits that don’t get peeled (such as apples, pears, grapes,etc.) and drinking, Oh, we mentioned that already? Never drink it out of a glass, because the glass was washed in their water. Soft drinks, ditto. Beer only from the bottle. Wine also. We know you look bad drinking wine directly from the bottle, but it’s better than visiting the toilet repeatedly all day long, or discovering someone put a “roofie” in your wine glass. Jug wine always had a certain “go to hell france” charm; kinda manly like drinking Long Neck beers. (It is pronounced a little differently because they cannot pronoun “h.”)
Algebra = [AHL-heh-brah]
Alley-oop = [alley-OOP ] basketball only
Allusion = alusión [ah-luu-SION]
Aloe = [ah-LOH-eh] (They pronounce as many letters as possible)
Altar = [ahl-TAHR]
Amateur = [ah – mah – TEH– ur] (french, but the Spanish use it also, we stole it from the french and our closest American word is rookie). Others can argue where the stress is.
America = América hopefully the place where you are going to buy this book.
Amigo = for the real beginners, and we mean real beginners, this means friend. It is pronounced [ah-MEE-goh]. If there were a more basic book, we would recommend it and give you your money back.
Amnesia = [ahm-NEH-seeah] forgetfulness usually caused by drug overdoses. (see Peyote and Marijuana down below) Also see alcohol above.
Amoral = [ah-moh-RAHL]
Anaconda = [ah-nah-COHN-dah]
Anal = [ah-NAHL] –”ah” is pronounced like in Apple, not like in April.
Analysis = análisis [ah-NAH-lee-sees] Sounds exactly the same, they just don’t use a Y.
Anemia = [ah-NEH-myah] A blood dietary disorder when all you have been doing is drinking alcohol south of the border. The authors recommend you supplement your diet with vitamin pills and packaged fast food.
Angel = angel [AHN-hell], as in Lohs AHN-hell-lehs (LA, where the Dodgers are, not in hell, as Brooklynites would have you believe. They lost the Dodgers to LA.
Angelical = [ahn-heh-lee-CAHL]
Angina = [AHN-hee-nah] (“g” is followed by “i” so it is an “h”) restriction of blood to the heart-not a humorous condition but relieved quickly by strong alcohol which thins the blood. Chewing aspirin is also good but not as much fun. If our medical helpline is busy, please call 911 and follow their instructions.
Angora = [ahn-GOH-rah]
Angular = [ahn-guu-LAHR]
Animal = [ah-nee-MAHL] (By now you have noticed the stress moving around within the words by use of capital letters to show where you say it the loudest. As soon as you get the rhythm of the language, we will give you the simple rule guide: there are only 2.
Annual = anual (drops an N) [ah-nuu-AHL] but sounds the same, with your Spanish switch on.
Anorexia = [ ah-no-REH-xiah] usually a feminine condition which is only put in this book to assist you in getting the rhythm of the Spanish language.
Antes = before as a word and as a prefix like in Antecedent, means before; such as “ante up” in poker, or antebellum—before the Civil War. You might have heard the word “ante climatic.” Maybe we are the ones spelling it wrong? : anti-climatic? Also antenuptial agreement. [AHN-tehs] (pronounced just like a yankee prepschool boy)
Antenna = antena [ahn-TEH-nah] Lose the extra “n”
Antibacterial = [ahn-tee-bahk-teh-ree-AHL]
Anticlimax = [ahn-tee-KLEE-mahx]
Antisocial = [ahn-tee-soh-see-AHL]
Aorta = orta [a-OR-tah] if you break this vessel don’t bother calling our medical helpline. You will be dead before you finish dialing the numbers
Apache = Same pronounciation
Appendicitis = apendicitis [ah-pen-dee-SEE-teehs]
Apprehension = aprensión [ah-prehn-SION]
Arable = [ah-RAH-bleh]
Area = área [AH-ree-ah] the accent is on the ah, and this is the location you’re talking about
Areas = áreas [AH-ree-ahs] Add “s” to form plural with vowel endings.
Armadillo = [ahr-mah-DEE-yoh] (double LL’s always sound like “J”, although we may want to ask the folks in Llano, Texas how they pronounce their town.) A cute armored animal, that curls up into a ball (Fetal position) when frightened. They pigged-backed over the border with the coyote, because they were too big for the Fire Ants, Gila Monster, or the cockroach; or to ascend the Burro. Hispanics will hitchhike.
Arsenal = [ahr-seh-NAHL]
Arteriosclerosis = pronounced exactly the same and has the same unfortunate characteristics.
Arthritis = artritis [ahr-TRE-tees]. We keep telling you, they can’t say “th”.
Artificial = all you have to do is roll the “r” and stress the CIAL.
Asia = [AH-seeah] Usually a continent, but oftentimes a Hispanic girl’s name.
Atlas = [AH-tlahs]
Audio = [AHW-deeoh]
Audiovisual – [ahw-deeoh-vee-suu-AHL]
Auditor = [AHW-dee-tohr]
Aura = [AHW-rah]
Auto = [AUH-toh] (also carro; CAH-rrho, also coche; KOH-cheh)
Aversion = aversión [ah-vehr-SION]
Bacteria = [bahk- TEH-ree-ah]
Badminton = [BAHD-meen-tohn]
Baffle = bafle [BAH-fleh]
Balance = [bah-LAHN-seh]
Balboa = [bahl-BOH-ah]
Ballerina = bailarina they drop an “L” and say [by-lah-REE-nah]
Ballet = balet one half of the writing team says you can pronounce this like bullet if you wish; the intelligent half gives it as: bah-LEY only that’s not Spanish, it’s the stupid french who don’t pronounce most of their letters whom we will castigate later on. Say [bah-LET] and the french lose. Most Hispanics do.
Balsa = [BAHL-sah]
Banal = [bah-NAHL] (Pronounciation is optionally the same in English.)
Banana = [bah-NAH-nah] or you can say it like a Gringo and some Hispanics call it “banano” “Hasta banana” is a fun way to say Adios to your friends—if you have any.
Bandido = [bahn-DEE-doh] you know what this is, and you can pronounce it. It’s those guys who were always chasing Speedy González; and he was screaming AHN-dee-lay, AHN-dee-lay; ah-RREE-bah, ah-RREE-bah. All of which sounded good, but really means “hurry up, hurry up, up, up.”
Bar = [BAHR] this reads and sounds the same in both languages. Definition is the same, thankfully. You should frequent these as much as possible because alcohol kills germs. Use real cheap vodka to wash your hands in. It also makes a good emergency deodorant and an interesting hair mousse, natural mosquito repellent, and can be used to sprinkle on and freshen up your clothes if you need just a little more time before changing. Many other uses, buy it.
Baronet = [bah-roh-NET]
Barracuda = [bah-rrah-CUU-dah]
Base = [BAH-seh] (these guys pronounce their syllables) –”seh” as in several.
Baseball = spelled beisbol but basically the same pronunciation.
Basketball = [BASK-ket-bol] (which you might also see written as básquet, for shorthand also, baloncesto [bah-lon-CES-toh] (this literally means balloon basket.)
Bazaar = bazar [bah-SAHR]
Begonia = [beh-GOH-neeah]
Beige = Same pronounciation.
Benefactor = [beh-neh-fahk-TOHR]
Biannual = bianual [bee-ah-nuu-AHL]
Bicameral = [bee-cah-meh-RAHL]
Bifocal = [bee-foh-CAHL]
Bikini = Same pronounciation.
Bilateral = [bee-lah-teh-RAHL] you will not use this much but it’s good for pronunciation.
Bingo = Exactly the same in Spanish, except it is pronounced [bin-GOH]
Binocular = [bee-noh-cuu-LAHR]
Biodegradable = [beeoh-deh-grah-DAH-bleh]
Bisexual = pronounced [bee-sek-suu-AHL]
Boa = Exactly the same in Spanish. We think it is clothing.
Bolero = [boh-LEH-roh]
Botique = Same pronunciation.
Bouquet = They say [buh-KEHT]. french lose
Box (for the sport only)
Brandy = [BRAHN-dee]
Bravo = [BRAH-voh] this is the pompous word that people at pompous ceremonies jump up and yell as they furiously clap their hands. Try to restrain yourself and just enjoy the performance. –Second meaning: Angry.
Broccoli = [ brócoli BROH-coh-lee]. For your info, this vegetable is the name of Albert Broccoli, who did all the James Bond movies. He blended an Italian cale with cauliflower, which created a synergistically strong vegetable.
Brutal = [bruu-TAHL] - a synonym for a Mexican or Spanish bull flight. A real good reason to never visit those two countries and to let them know why. However, visit Barcelona, because they recently banned bullfighting; and it is a beautiful city.
Buffalo = búfalo [BUU-fah-loh]
Bunker = [BUUHN = kehr]
Burrito = [buu-REE-toh] This shows you how to downsize—this is a small burro. Also something cooked up for Tex-Mex cuisine.
Burro = [buh-ROH] an upsized version of a famous Mexican burrito. Also a small version of the American donkey. It crossed our unguarded borders years ago, and… (See coyote below) This small version of the American donkey is hairier and considerably darker. They respond better to Spanish than to English. The famous Mexican dish, Burrito, contains Burro meat. Why else would they name it that? And there are never any Burros standing near a Mexican restaurant; just like there are never any cats or dogs within miles of a Chinese, Korean, or Vietnamese restaurant.
Bus = [buus] (almost sounds like Moose. They should name them Humobus since they always emit lots of humo, which means smoke. Since the H is never pronounced it sounds like [UU-mo], and smells like it also.
Byte = exactly the same pronounciation.
Cable, wire = [CAH-bleh].
Cacao = same word. (It already is Spanish)
Café = another french word, pronounce it like a gringo, and a Frog, except make the ca, cah. (A small joke is hiding there, just sound it out) By the way this means a cute restaurant as well as the Spanish word for coffee as well as brown.
Cafeteria = cafetería [cah-feh-teh-REE-ah] A place where you get to see the food before you buy it, which sometimes can be a huge advantage. I saw a handwritten sign in a Mexican restroom which translated to: “please flush twice, it’s a long way to the kitchen.”
Calzones = means panties in Spanish, and is not a cognate and doesn’t belong here. I just wanted to point it out as an interesting word that half of our readers will want to buy, and the other half will want to get rid of-but not rip off in the stealing sense. It is, amusingly enough, an Italian thing you eat, but despite a strong coincidence, no connection can be found to eatable panties. Pronounced [cahl-SOH-nehs]. Now go back to normal words and get out of our (my gutter.)
Camera = cámara [CAH-mah-rah]Sounds the same.
Camper = [CAHM-pehr]
Camping = [CAHM-peen]
Campus = [CAHM-puus]
Canal = this can also be used as the word for TV channels. In fact it is the word they use. [cah-NAHL]- It’s also like a ditch.
Cancer = cáncer [KAHN-sehr]
Cannabis = canabis [cah-NAH-bees]
Cannibal = caníbal [cah-NEE-bahl] - (“Fed up with people”)
Canon = cañón [cah-NYON] This means artillery or a big hole in the ground.
Capital = just to help your pronunciation:[ kah pee-TAHL].
Captain = capitán [cah-pee-TAN] The captain that guides a ship or plane. (From the song “La Bamba”)
Captor = [cahp-TOHR]
Capuchino = [kah-puh-CHEE-noh] the same as the Italians pronounce it.
Carcinoma = [cahr-see-NOH-mah]
Cardinal = cardinal [cahr-dee-NAHL]
Cardiac = cardíaco [cahr-DEE-ahkoh]
Cardiovascular = [cahr-deeoh-vahs-cuu-LAHR]
Caries = [CAH-reeehs] (this means a cavity in your tooth.) It is plural.
Carnal = [kahr-NAHL]
Casino = Same word.
Cassette = Same pronounciation.
Casual = [kah-suuAHL]
Catcher = [kah-CHEHR]
Caviar = [kah-veeAHR]
Cellular = celular [seh-luu-LAHR]
Censor = [sehn-SOHR]
Central = central [sehn-TRAHL]
Cereal = [seh-reh-AHL]– You eat this with milk (leche).
Cerebral = [seh-reh-BRAHL]
Beer = cerveza [cehr-VEH-zah] every hard drinking American boy even under the legal drinking age knows this means beer. “Otra más cerveza!! Although it is correctly said: “Otra cerveza más!! (since cerveza is the subject to be modified. Similar to what we later discuss in “casa blanca.”
Cervical = [sehr-vee-CAHL]
Champagne = [chahm-PAHN] (a french word anyway.)
Chance = [CHAHN-ceh]
Chassis = chasís [chah-SEES]
Cigar = puro [PUR-roh] this means cigar as well as a doobie.
Chef = another damn french word; they say Chef also
Girl = chica [CHEE-kah] every red-blooded boy knows this is the girl he wants to get an excess of cerveza or vodka into.
Chocolate = here it is all about using all the syllables: [cho-coh-LAH-teh]
Civil = [see-VEEL]
Clan = [KLAHN]
Classes = clases rem, no double “ss’s.”[ KLAH-sehs].
Clerical = [kleh-reh-CAHL]
Climax = clímax [KLEE-mahx]
Clitoris = clítoris [KLEE-toh-rees]
Closet = clóset [CLOH-seht]
Close-ups = close-ups they use the same word on TV. We would have to be a Latin Hollywood type for the correct pronunciation. We don’t know any.
Club = this one is a little difficult but consistent: kluub sounds like clue, but with a “b” on the end.
Cobra = [COH-brah]
Cocktail = same as English – also is spelled cóctel. Sounds the same.
Cohesion = cohesión [coh-eh-SION]
Coca Cola = [Cocah COH-la] (also get CO-cah lite)
Collage = sounds the same, french win.
Collateral = colateral [coh-lah-teh-RAHL]
Collision = [colisión coh-lee-SION]
Colones = [coh-LOH-nehs] pronounced coh-LOH-neh in English phonetics as singular. We hope you don’t need this word. Use dollars whenever possible.
Colonial = [coh-loh-neeAHL]
Color = [coh-LOHR] (this means color) a similar word, calor [cah-LOHR], means warm. Hey, we do this kind of stuff also: try “read” as past tense or present; or “red” as a color.
Combo = [COM-boh]
Combustible = [come-buus-TEE-bleh] (“bull” in English)
Combustion = combustión [come-buus-TEEON]
Comfortable = confortable [cohn-for-TAH-bleh] (“bull” in English)
Comma = coma [COH-mah] (el coma is unconsciencious; la coma is punctuation)
Commando = comando [coh-MAHN-doh]
Commercial = comercial [coh-mer-seeAHL] (they lose an “m”- otherwise the same).
Commission = comisión [coh-me-SION] they lost an “s” and “m”: meanwhile the world needs more S & M.
Communal = comunal [coh-muu-NAHL]
Communion = comunión [coh-muu-NYOHN]
Comparable = [come-pah-RAH-bleh]
Compassion = compasión [come-pah-SION] just lose an s. You just cannot make the case that the double ss’s are necessary in English anyway.
Compatible = [come-pah-TEE-bleh]
Compositor = [come-poh-see-TOHR] (we should digress a minute to let you know that many times the tor ending and the dor ending tend to be names of people or things that take action; for instance, Matador, Correador, Conductor (driver), explorador, explotador, cazador (hunter), inventor, gobernador, navegador, constructor, picador, toreador, salvador (one who saves), creador (one who creates), encantador de perros (the dog whisperer), observador, abusador, facilatador, etc.). Matador, toreador, and picador are bad as they involve killing a bull for sport in Spain and Mexico. (Except in Barcelona, bless their hearts.)
Compression = comprensión [come-prehn-SION] (be careful, they added an “n” for some unknown reason.)
Compressor = compresor [come-preh-SOHR] (Also a supercharger in German)
Compulsion = compulsión [come-pull-SION]
Concession = concesión [cohn-seh-SION]
Conclave = cónclave [COHN-clah-veh]
Condor = [COHN-dohr]
Confession = confesión [cohn-feh-SION] They got rid of an unnecessary “s”. Words of Richard Pryor: never admit it and there’ll always be doubt. Never confess. When caught with another woman, he said, “Who are you going to believe? Me, or your lying eyes?” This is also good legal advice.
Confidential = confidencial [cohn-fee-den seeAL]
Confusion = confusión [cohn-fuh-SION]
Congestion = congestión [cohn-hehs-TEEON]
Connector = conector [coh-nehk-TOHR]
Considerable = [cohn-see-deh-RAH-bleh]
Consul = cónsul [COHN-suul]
Continental = [cohn-tee-nehn-TAHL]
Contra = as in contradiction, and the Contras in Nicaragua (against)
Contractual = [cohn-trahk-tuuAHL]
Control = [cohn-TROHL]
Conversion = conversión [cohn-vehr-SION]
Convertible = [cohn-vehr-TEE-blee] (and no bull)
Convoy = convoy [COHN-voy]
Cordial = [cohr-deeAH] they just pronounce the syllables. We say cord-jewel
Corral = [coh- RRAHL]
Cosmos = [COHS-mohs]
Coyote = [coh-YOH-teh]a Mexican version of the North American Wolf which slipped across the southern border in large numbers years ago, when the borders were also relatively unprotected. This crafty illegal immigrant has been living relatively unobserved in the Southern states and Southern California. They have adapted to our ways and live among us in the Border States without much harassment. Without real skills, they work hard at surviving. They haven’t added anything really to our ecosystem. They are much shorter and lighter in weight than standard wolves. They also respond better to Spanish than English. Actually, they don’t respond, they just scurry away. They also seem to reproduce quickly and, considering their origination--no child support.
Crater = cráter [CRAH-tehr]
Criminal = [cree-mee-NAHL]
Crisis = [KREE-sees]
Cristal = [KREES-tahl]
Croquet = [KROH-keht]
Crucifixion = crucifixión [kruu-see-feek-SION]
Cruel = [cruuEHL] means exactly the same.
Cuba Libre = common name for rum and Coca-Cola. [CUU-bah LEE-breh]
Culpable = [cuul-PAH-bleh]
Cultural = [cuul-tuu-RAHL] (we say chu in English, they do not)
Curriculum = [cuu-RREE-cuu-lum] (You will learn the meaning of this later, when we get to dee-PLOH-mah.)
Cursor = [cuur-SOHR]
Cutter = cuter [cuu-TEHR]
Data = [DAH-tah]
Debate = [deh-BAH-teh]
Debut = [deh-BUUT]
Decimal = [deh-see-MAHL]
Decision = [decisión deh-see-SION]
Decompression = descomprensión [des-come-pren-SION]
Deducible = [deh-duu-SEE-bleh]
Deficit = [déficit DEH-fee-seet]
Dental = [dehn-TAHL]
Deplorable = [deh-ploh-RAH-bleh] see the “no bull” section
Depression = depresión [deh-preh-SION] they lose the unnecessary “s”.
Detective = [deh-tehk-TEE-veh] (we keep reminding you, they like syllables)
Detector = [deh-tehk-TOHR] a person or thing which detects.
Detractor = [deh-trakh-TOHR] a person who detracts
Devil = diablo [deeAH-bloh] the mythical creature. Also a Lamborghini.
Diabetes = [de-ah-BEH-tehs]
Diagonal = [deeah-goh-NAHL]
Diarrhea = diarrea [dee-ah-RREE-ah]
Dictatorial = [deek-tah-toh-reeAHL]
Diesel = the same, it’s a German word since Otto Diesel invented it.
Diffusion = difusión [dee-fuu-SION]
Digestion = digestión [dee-hehs-TEEON]
Digital = [dee-hee-TAHL] the “GI” will trick you if you don’t pay attention to it. Gi and Ge are always pronounced as H’s in Spanish.
Digression = digresión [dee-greh-SION]
Dilemma = dilema [dee-LEH-mah]
Dimension = dimensión [dee-men-SION] All “sion’s” and “cion’s” are female
Diploma = [deh-PLOH-mah] For some of our Readers who don’t know what this is in English, you receive a framed piece of paper after completing a formal course in some kind of training. (See curriculum, graduation and matriculation.)
Director = [dee-rehk-TOHR] this also means manager.
Dirigible = [dee-ree-HEE-bleh]
Discussion = discusión [dees-cuu-SION] no double “s’s”.
Diskette = [dees-KET]
Dispensable = [dees-pehn-SAH-bleh]
Dispersion = dispersión [dees-pehr-SION]
Dissension = disensión [dee-sehn-SION]
Distension = distensión [dees-tehn-SION]
Divisible = [dee-vee-SEE-bleh]
División = [dee-vee-SION]
Doctor = [dohk-TOHR] (you might also hear médico [MEH-dee-coh])
Documental = [doh-cuh-men-TAHL]
Dogma = [DOHG-mah]
Dollar = dólar [DOH-lahr] In real world testing we have found that Gringos can’t say this correctly; especially when it is plural: dólares [DOH-lah-res]. It is extremely important not to sound like you are saying “doll” the English way. It’s more like you are beginning to say “don’t” and then continue with “lores”. Spoken quickly, it sounds like [DOOR-lehres]. You will need some practice with this one and as a tourist you will certainly get your chance.
Dorsal = [dohr-SAHL]
Doses = dosis [DOH-sis]
Double = doble [DOH-bleh] (See the “bull” chapter)
Dragon = dragón [drah-GOHN]
Dragsters = Exactly the same word.
Drama = [DRAH-mah] as in queen.
Duplex = dúplex [DUU-plex]
Eclipse = [eh-CLEEP-seh] (See. All the syllables)
Editorial = [eh-dee-toh-reeAHL]
Effusion = efusión [eh-fuu-SION]
Ego = [EH-goh]
Elector = [eh-lehk-TOHR]
Electronic = electrónico [eh-lehk-TROH-nee-coh]
Eligible = elegible [eh-leh-HEE-bleh]
Elemental = [eh-leh-men-TAHL]
Elite = élite [EH-lee-tee] This word is counterintuitive
Elixir = exactly the same word. [eh-leex-SEER]
Emission = emisión [eh-mee-SION]
Emulsion = emulsión [eh-muul-SION]
En Vivo = readers will see this on every Spanish TV screen and it takes the place of “Live.” You need to know this so that you will know whether or not you’re watching a replay. (Which we invented)
Enchilada = [ehn-chee-LAH-dah]
Encyclopedia = enciclopedia [ehn-see-cloh-PEH-deeah]
Enema = [eh-NEH-mah]
Enigma = [eh-NEEG-mah] next-to-last syllable gets stressed with a vowel end
Epidermis = [eh-pee-DEHR-mees]
Erosion = erosión [eh-roh-SION]
Error = [eh-RROHR] when you are writers, you will probably make a lot of these…
Escape = escape [ehs-CAH-peh]
Exclusion = exclusión [ex-cluu-SION]
Excursion = excursión [ex-cuur-SION]
Expansion = expansión [ex-pahn-SION]
Experimental = [ex-peh-ree-men-TAHL]
Explicable = [ex-plee-CAH-bleh]
Express = [exprés ex-PREHS]
Expression = expresión [ex-preh-SION]
Expulsion = expulsión [ex-pull-SION]
Extensible = [ex-tehn-SEE-bleh] This is a real word
Extension = extensión [ex-ten-SION]
Exterior = exterior [ex-teh-ree-OHR]
Extra = [EX-trah]
Extractor = [ex-trahk-TOHR]
Extracurricular = [ex-trah-cuu-ree-cuu-LAHR] (Only the graduates know this word.)
Extreme Makeover = Extreme Makeover
Facial = [fah-seeAHL] (only half our writers know what this means, other than hair.) It also seems to be a beauty activity.
Factual = [fahk-tuuAHL]
Fajita = you probably eat these and pronounce them right. [Fah- HEE-tah]
Falsifier = falsificador [fal-see-fee-cah-DOHR] (See “DOR” section.)
Familiar = [fah-mee-leeAHR]
Fan = [FAHN] (English, but used in Spanish as well.)
fauna = [FAHW-nah]
Favor = [fah-VOHRR]
Favorable = [fah-voh- RAH-bleh]
Fax = exactly the same in Spanish
Federal = [feh-deh-RAHL]
Fedex = fedex (Same in Spanish.)
Festival = [fehs-tee-VAHL]- not as good as [kar-nah-VAHL]
Final = [fee-NAHL]
Fiasco = the same. Get used to them; they are commonplace down here.
Fiscal = [fees-KAHL] (also seems to mean District Attorney)
Flash (used in Spanish as well) slightly the same, but a more Spanish “ah” flahsh.
Flexible = [flehx-SEE-bleh]
Flora = [FLOH-rah]
Floral = [floh-RAHL] (the stress changes because of the consonant ending)
Focal = [foh-KAHL]
Folio = [FOH-leeoh]
Folklore = folclor [fohl-KLOHR]
Football = fútbol [FUUT-bol]. They mean soccer
Formal = [fohr-MAHL]
Formula = fórmula [FOR-muu-lah]
Fossil = fósil [FOH-seel]
Photo = foto [FOH-toh]
Fraternal = [frah-tehr-NAHL]
Free = gratis [GRAH-tees] (which means free in English also, if you are somewhat educated). There a lot of English words that come directly from Latin and will look the same in English or Spanish. One of the subtle purposes of this book is to increase your English vocabulary accidentally because it’s the same word in Spanish. You’ll be saying,”I didn’t even know that word! Now I know it in two languages”
Free lance = [free-LAHN-seh] (English but pronounced in Spanish)
Freezer = freezer [FREE-sehr]
Friable = [free-AH-bleh] (If you need a definition, look it up.)
Fire = fuego [FUUEH-goh] Our readers should know that Tierra del Fuego, in Argentina, means land of fire and is the southernmost tip of their continent. (There is a debate about one or two American continents. Your writing team is split.
Fuel, combustible = combustible [com-buus-TEE-bleh]
Fundamental = fundamental [fuun-dah-men-TAHL]
Funeral = funeral [fuu-neh-RAHL] where are we getting these words?
Fusion = fusión [fuu-SION]
Gallon = galón [gah-LOHN]
Ganador = [gah-nah-DOHR] (one who wins)
Gangster = ganster [GAHN-stehr] they lost the “g”
Gas = [GAHS] it’s the stuff put into sodas and also types of air; but not gasoline.
Gastritis = [gahs-TREE-tees]
Gay = gay
Gel = HELL (“ge” equals “h”) [This is hard to believe.]
General = [heh-neh-RAHL]This is the tricky GE again. Gi is the other.
Genital = [heh-nee-TAHL]
Gin and tonic = ginebra y tónica [he-NEH-brah e TOH-nee-cah] (not identical, but you will need to learn this, if you like drinking.)
Glamour = glamor [GLAH-moor] (This, and “fabulous” is never uttered by the male of your writing team); marvelous either.
Glaucoma = [glahw-COH-mah]
Global = [gloh-BAHL]
Gnat = absolutely nothing to do with Spanish, we are just showing you that the G is silent. This proves we are writing a book for frijoles, just to be fair to all politically correct groups. Same happens with Gnu (silent g) (its other name is Wildebeest)
Gnome = nothing to do with anything except short people in myths and the g is silent also.
Golf = sounds exactly the same! Since the Scots invented it, they get to pronounce it.
Gondola = góndola [GOHN-doh-lah]
Gorilla = gorila [goh-REE-lah] they lose an “l” or it would have to sound like ‘y’. The scientific name for gorilla is “gorilla gorilla gorilla.” Every species has a scientific name which is in Latin. Every one is three words. This helps your scientific education.
Gourmet = [GUUR-meht] (a type of food, not the person)
Graffiti (Italian word) same in English and Spanish. [Grah-FEE-tee]
Grand Prix = [GRAHN PREEX] (french lose.)
Gratis = gratis [GRAH-tees] (This means no charge.)
Grave = [GRAH-veh] Not the burial place thing, but serious; meaning look out.
Grill = to save time this rhymes with real. Except roll the “r” a little bit. Like Macho Man is going to do some real cooking at a tailgate party. [GRREEL]
Guacamole = [gwah-cah-MOH-leh]
Gym = gym (They pronounce it just like us) also, gymnasio [him-nah-zio]
Habitat = hábitat [AH-bee-taht]
Habitual = habitual [ah-bee-tuu-AHL]
Hacienda = almost everyone knows this is the homeplace at the Rancho. Just don’t pronounce the “h.” It could also be the whole rancho, kind of like your spread, as they would say in Westerns.
Hardware = [AHR-wahr]
Hemorrhoids = hemoroides [eh-moh-RROY-dehs](remember the H. Is not pronounced, the double RR is dropped, along with the 2nd silent H.)
Hepatitis = [eh-pah-TEE-tees] hopefully you won’t see much of this, but if you do, investigate quite a bit further.
Hernia = [EHR-neeah] (this is going to get boring because all through the “h” section, we are going to leave off the H. you might as well get used to it.)
Herpes = [EHR-pehs] (hopefully you will not need or use this word very much, but if you are using your Spanish for an adventure, be careful!). Adventure means aventura in Español.
Hey! = ¡hey! [HEY] The only time “h” is pronounced (They sometimes yell “oye!)
Hindi = [EEN-dee]
Hindu = hindú [een-DUU]
Hip hop = if you must say this, it would be: heep-hop,”h” is sounded, because damn it, it is an American invention.
Hypnosis = hipnosis [ehp-NOH-sees] (change the Y for the i; otherwise the same - why did we use a “y” in the first place?)
Hombre = [OHM-breh] Basically a man, although he could be a real OMBRE meaning a tough guy.
Home Run = this is the second deviation from the rule that they do not pronounce written H’s, and it is only because it is our word and they use it our way. It is a hoot however to hear them scream out the 2 words for over 60 seconds, which is a habit that they developed from having to make soccer seem interesting when there is only a goal once an hour.
Homosexual = it would be pronounced[O-mo-sex-UAL], if you need to.
Hong Kong = Hong Kong
Honor = honor [oh-NOHR] neither language pronounces the h.
Honorable = ditto- (which means the same in español.) – [oh-noh-RAH-bleh]
Horizontal = [oh-ree-sohn-TAHL] This could be with the mouse strokes section. You will get the joke later.
Horrible = [oh-RREE-bleh]
Horror = horror [oh-RROHR] This pronunciation will be difficult!
Hospital = [ohs-pee-TAHL] The place you go if you have too much “adventure.” See hepatitis, syphilis, infection, gonorrhea, chlamydia, herpes, and Montezuma’s revenge.(Correctly spelled “Moctezuma”)
Hot-dog = more or less, the same. We invented it and they can’t think of a way to make it sound Spanish. They could silence the “h,” but it would sound stupid.
Hotel = [oh-TEHL] one of the few words that mean the same in all countries and pronuncead same.
Vegetable = [ veh-heh-TAH-bleh] out of order, ehh?
Humor = [uh-MOOR] (don’t say you more, it is uuu, as in moo, by cows).
Ibis = [EEH-bees] (A bird in Florida, really bright red) Yes, you need Spanish in Florida also. And Ibises exist in Latin America.
Iceberg = same
Idea = [ee-DEH-ah]
Ideal = [e-deh-AHL] (nothing really ever is, haven’t you noticed?)
Iguana = [ee-GWAH-nah]
Illegal = ilegal [e-leh-GAHL]
Illusion = ilusión [e-luu-SION]
Imaginable = [ee-mah-hee-NAH-bleh]
Immoral = inmoral [en-moh-RAHL] they changed the double m and used n.
Immortal = inmortal [en-mohr-TAHL]
Impasse = (french) said exactly the same way. I don’t know why they don’t pervert french words like they do our English?
Impeccable = impecable [eehm-peh-CAH-bleh]
Impenetrable = [ehm-peh-neh-TRAH-bleh] (notice that “im” is one more way both languages create negatives.)
Imperceptible = [eem-pehr-sehp-TEE-bleh]
Imperial = [ eem-peh-reh-AHL]. Probably invented by Charles de Gaulle. You will hear about the “de Gaulle syndrome” later. Also Costa Rica’s national beer, seriously.
Impersonal = impersonal [eehm-pehr-soh-NAHL] This illustrates the English queer way of using different prefixes to create a negative word. Several more later
Implacable = [ehm-plah-CAH-bleh]
Implosion = implosión [eehm-ploh-SION]
Impossible = [eehm-poh-SEE-bleh]
Impracticable = [eehm-prahk-tee-CAH-bleh]
Imprecision = imprecisión [ehm-preh-SION]
Impression = impresión [ehm-preh-SION] (drops an S) Stress the shun ending.
Impressionable = impresionable [eehm-preh-sioh-NAH-bleh]
Improbable = [eehm-proh-BAH-bleh]
Inacceptable = inaceptable [ee-nah-sehp-TAH-bleh]
Inaccessible = inaccesible [ee-nahk-se-SEE-bleh]
Inadmisible = this is close enough to include as a cognate. Cognates are identical words. The Spanish spell it a little closer than we do, get the same sound and with fewer letters. We spell it “inadmissible.” They say –[ ee-nahd-mee-SEE-bleh] Later, you will learn this is the first rule of pronunciation; that the next to the last syllable gets the stress, or accent.
Inapplicable = inaplicable [ee-nah-plee-KAH-bleh]
Incalculable = [eehn-cahl-cuu-LAH-bleh]
Inclusion = inclusión [eehn-cluu-SION]
Incognito = incógnito since this is Latin, it is the same.[ ehn-COG-nee-toh], which is actually correct in English although most of us say it in the incorrect way: “eehn-cog-NEE-toh” and it can be made female by changing the last “o” to “a” in either language. We hope you know it means undercover.
Incomparable = [eehn-come-pah-RAH-bleh]
Incompatible = [eehn-come-pah-TEE-bleh]
Inconsolable = [eehn-cohn-soh-LAH-bleh]
Incorruptible = [eehn-coh-rruupt-TEE-bleh]
Incurable = [eehn-cuu-RAH-bleh]
Incursion = incursión [eehn-cuurr-SION]
Indecision = indecisión [eehn-deh-see-SION]
Indestructible = [eehn-dehs-truc-TEE-bleh]
Indice = índice [EEHN-dee-seh]
Indigestion = indigestión [ehn-dee-hehs-TION]
Indispensable = [eehn-dees-pehn-SAH-bleh]
Individual = [ ehn-dee-vee-duuAHL]. This represents the 2nd rule, the stress is always on the last syllable if it ends in a consonant other than “n” or “s.” you will hear more about this later, and it will make sense-if anything about a foreign language ever does?
Industrial = [ehn-duus-treeAHL]
Inestimable = [eh-nehs-tee-MAH-bleh]
Inexcusable = [eh-nex-cuu-SAH-bleh
Inexplicable = [eehn-ex-plee-CAH-bleh] What can’t be explained is how this differs from unexplainable. English uses both un and in to negative words. Somehow, inexplicable is not unexplicable. Unknown is never inknown. Unfortunate is never infortunate. Inadvisable probably should never be unadvisable. But who knows? English has thousands of these decisions and we hope for a portable book regarding Spanish--not English. But the question remains, do you prefer indisputable evidence or undisputable evidence? We notice Spanish having this problem. We and they all negative with the prefixes “dis” “des” and also use “non” in front, as well as “ir” as in “irregular.”
Inextricable = [eehn-ex-tree-CAH-bleh]
Inferior = [ eehn-feh-reeOHR]. But don’t let them know that you think they are. You know that you do.
Inflexible = [eeh-flex-SEE-bleh]
Informal = [eehn-fohr-MAHL]
Infusion = infusión [eehn-fuu-SION]
Ingestion = ingestión [eehn-hehs-TION]
Inimitable = [ee-nee-mee-TAH-bleh]
Innumerable = [eehn-nuu-meh-RAH-bleh]
Inoperable = [ehn-noh-peh-RAH-bleh]
Insatiable = insaciable [eehn-sah-seeAH-bleh]
Insensible = insensible [eehn-sehn-SEE-bleh]
Inseparable = [ eehn-seh-pah-RAH-bleh]
Inspector = [eehns-pehk-TOHR]
Instructor = [eehns-truuk-TOHR]
Instrumental = [eehn-struu-men-TAHL]
Insular = [eehn-suu-LAHR]
Integral = [eehn-teh-GRAHL]
Intellectual = intelectual [eehn-teh-lehk-tuuAHL] you won’t get to use this word much In Latin America.
Intelligible = inteligible [eehn-teh-lee-HEE-bleh]
Intercession = intercesión [eehn-tehr-seh-SION]
Intercontinental = [eehn-tehr-cohn-tee-nehn-TAHL] the same, just stress the TAHL at the end.
Interdepartmental = interdepartamental [eehn-tehr-deh-pahr-tah-men-TAHL]
Interest = interés [eehn-teh-REHS]
Interior = [eehn-teh-reeOHR]
Interlocutor = [eehn-tehr-loh-cuu-TOHR]
Interminable = [eehn-tehr-mee-NAH-bleh]
Intermission = intermisión [eehn-tehr-mee-SION]
Internet = [ eehn-tehr-NET]. Since we invented it, along with almost everything else, they should say it our way since they do not change french pronunciations: so it should be IN-ter-net, but instead, they stress the net. We will catch up later, you betcha.
Interpersonal = [eehn-tehr-pehr-soh-NAHL]
Interracial = [eehn-tehr-rrah-seeAHL]
Intestinal = [eehn-tehs-tee-NAHL]
Intolerable = [eehn-toh-leh-RAH-bleh]
Intrusión = [eehn-truu-SION]
Invariable = [eehn-vah-reeAH-bleh]
Invasión = [eehn-vah-SION]
Inventor = [eehn-vehn-TOHR](Notice the “tor” for someone who does something.)
Inversión = [eehn-vehr-SION]
Invincible = invencible [eehn-veen-SEE-bleh] from a hero TV show.
Invisible = invisible [eehn-vee-SEE-bleh] (editor’s note: their pronunciation is more consistent than ours with our “ble” being pronounced “bull”. If you ever go to Mexico or Spain, do not go to a ble fight. That is not a misprint, it’s English).
Invulnerable = [eehn-vuul-neh-RAH-bleh]
Irrefutable = [ee-rreh-fuu-TAH-bleh]
Irregular = [ee-rreh-guu-LAHR]
Irreparable = [ee-rreh-pah-RAH-bleh]
Irreproachable = irreprochable [ee-rreh-proh-CHAH-bleh]
Irresistible = [ee-rreh-sees-TEE-bleh]
Irreversible = [ee-rreh-vehr-SEE-bleh]
Irrevocable = [ee-rreh-voh-CAH-bleh] What happened to “un” or “in”? Now we can negative like going with “ir”? This is crazy or what? Irreversable, irregrettable, irresponsible, and so forth. The English book to follow is going to have a lot of explaining to do.
Irritable = [ee-rree-TAH-bleh]
Israelí = [ees-rrah-eh-LEE] go with the accent mark
Jacuzzi = [jah-CUU-zee]
Jean = same (There’s one. Maybe a name or pants.)
Jeep = same pronounciation.
Jesus = Jesús [heh-SUUS] and a very common name in Latin América.
Jogging = Pronounced the same.
Jovial = [hoh-veeAHL]
Judicial = [huh-dee-seeAHL]
Jumbo = exactly the same but you must say [JUUM-boh]
Jupiter = júpiter [JUU-pee-tehr]
Kaiser = exactly the same pronounciation.
Kamikaze = pronounced exactly the same. Now the Japs get their way?
Karate = pronounced exactly the same, the Japs are now even with the french (Frogs).
Kayak = [ kah-YAK] They say it normally. So the Eskimos win, and this is another example of “a” as “sal”.
Ketchup = [KEH-chuhp] (also[SAL-sah deh toe-MAH-teh]) salsa de tomate
Kilo = [KEY-loh] Our Drug-smuggling readers already pronounce this right. Why else would they want to learn Spanish? For better communications. Maybe this book will save lives while they’re opening metal briefcases in the trunks of cars.
Kilobyte = exactly the same.
Kiwi = exactly the same, the Australians have managed to win.
Koala = exactly; now the Australians have pulled even with the Frogs and the Japs.
Labor = [ lah-BOHR]. What if this was the last name, and his first name was Manuel? That would be your yard boy. (Little politically incorrect joke there!) (We know “were” is the correct subjunctive mood.)
Laptop = same pronounciation. (Another “sal” word.)
Lamentable = [lah-men-TAH-bleh]
Laryngitis = [ laringitis lah-ren-HEE-tees]. We threw this in to remind you that the G becomes an H when followed by an “e” or an “i.” [Hen-er-RAL]for general is another example.
Las Olas = Las Olas Blvd. in Fort Lauderdale (this means “the waves”)
Laser = láser [LAH-sehr]
Lateral = [lah-teh-RAHL]
Latex = látex [LAH-tehx]
Lava = exactly the same. Now the Hawaiians have won; joining the Japs, the Frogs, the Aussies, the Scots, and others to follow. So far we are zip, except for “Jean,” which may be a french name, for all we know.
Legal = [ leh-GAhL]. This sounds like it ought to be french for girl. (Le gal) (we know feminine in french is LA)
Lethal = letal [leh-TAHL] Again, another TV show. (They can’t say “th” so they drop the “h”.)
Liberal = [lee-beh-RAHL]
Literal = literal [lee-teh-RAHL]
Wolf = lobo. This is the big gringo coyote. Too bad a certain ex-governor ex-presidential candidate shoots them from airplanes as they flee through snow, until exhaustion or a lucky shot.
Local = [loh-CAHL] otherwise it would sound like our location (locale).
Locker = [LOH-kehr]
Loco = [LOH-coh] (if she is crazy, then it changes to Loca.) LOH-cah
Lumbar = [luum-BAHR]
Machete = [ mah-CHEH-teh]
Machismo = having the quality of manliness below.
Macho = we are not going to insult your intelligence on this one.
Mafia = [ MAH-fee-ah]. Now the Italians get their words said their way.
Malaria = [mah-LAH-reeah]
Mama = mamá [mah-MAH] c’mon. Even babies can say this in either language.
Mambo = we say it the Spanish way. Now the frijoles win.
Mandarin = mandarín [mahn-dah-REEN]
Mango = [ MAHN-go]. The frijoles win again. But it’s their fruit.
Manicure = you can say it our way or [mah-nee-CUU-reh]
Mano a mano = literally means hand to hand, as in combat. It also means man to man in a standup dustoff. You need to know this even though it is not a cognate. In case you haven´t heard it, it is pronounced [MAHN-noh AH MAHN-oh].
Mansion = mansión [mahn-SION]
Manual = manual [mah-NWAHL]
Marathon = maratón [mah-rah-TOHN](They can’t say “th”.)
Mariachi = [mah-reeAH-chee]
Marijuana = [mah-ree-WAH-nah] (not “merri” as we say in English.” Also could be spelled marihuana, but why would we then nickname it “Mary Jane”
Marital = marital [mah-ree-TAHL]
Marketing = same pronunciation as in English.
Massacre = masacre (take one S out) [mah-SAH-creh]
Material = [mah-teh-reeAHL]
Maternal = [mah-tehr-NAHL]
Matriculate = [mah-tree-cuu-LAH-teh] -those of you with no [dee-PLOH-mah] and no [grah-duu-ah-CION] will have no idea of the meaning of this word. It means to sign up to take courses in college or in high school-and probably to beg for financial aid. (We are speaking to those of you who are in house trailers and who are renting. Not putting you down, been there, done that, and have the T-shirt.)
Matrimonial = [mah-tree-moh-neeAHL]
Mea culpa = This is Italian/Latin/English and means “my fault.”[ MEE-ah KUUL-pah].
Megabyte = exactly the same.
Melodrama = [meh-loh-DRAH-mah]
Memorandum = [meh-moh-RAHN-duum] (as in “doom”)
Meningitis = [ meh-neen-HEE-tees]. Again, the g becomes an h because of the following “i.” (If you even hear this word, get back on the airplane!) (Again, see “hospital”)
Menstrual = [mehns-truuAHL]
Mental = mental [mehn-TAHL]
Methanol = metanol [meh-tah-NOHL] (They can’t say “th”, so they drop it.)
Menu = menu [meh-NUH] . The Frogs lose. It’s their word but the frijoles changed it. We, on the other hand let the french win by saying: MEN-yuh.
Mi Casa es su Casa = A traditional Spanish invitation to use your house like it’s your own. It may be sincere but remember Winston Churchill’s admonition that fish and guests get stale after 3 days. You break the glass in their house; you can replace it by saying “mi glasa su glasa.” Of course that’s a joke, but if you break a cup, you can really say “mi tasa su tasa” when you replace it.
Mineral = [mee-neh-RAHL] plural would be RAH-les
Minigolf = minigolf [mee-nee-GOLF]
Minivan = [mee-nee-VAHN]
Miserable = [mee-seh-RAH-bleh]
Missiles = misiles [me-SEE-lehs]
Mission = misión [mee-SION] no double “ss’s” in Spanish.
Mitosis = [mee-TOH-sees]
Monitor = [moh-nee-TOHR.] Unless it is the giant lizard. The authors don’t know and are too lazy to look it up.
Moral = [moh-RAHL] (One of your authors has no use for this word when followed by an “s” ).
Morgue = [MOHR-geh]
Mortal = mortal [mohr-TAHL]
Mosquito = [mohs-KEY-toh] . We are not sure whose word this is. probably theirs. One of their beaches is called The Mosquito Coast, and was made into a movie starring Harrison Ford. Naturally, he loses it mentally, lacking enough mohs-KEY-toh netting.
Motor = [moh-TOHR]
Mousse = [MAH-uus]
Muchas gracias = [MUU-chahs GRAH-seeahs] . If you’re a fun American, you will be using these two words a lot, especially to be curteous and gracious. These are only two sylable words, so the stress is on both first syallables MUU-chahs GRAH-seeahs
Mulatto = mulato [muu-LAH-toh]
Multilateral = [muul-tee-lah-teh-RAHL]
Multiple = múltiple [MUUL-tee-pleh]
Municipal = [muu-nee-see-PAHL]
Mural = [muu-RAHL]
Muscular = [muus-cuu-LAHR]
Musical = [muu-see-KAHL]
Mutual = [muu-tuuAHL]
Nasal = [nah-SAHL] (As french is spoken)
Natural = [nah-tuu-RAHL] This word disappeared about the time of the “Bikini line,” peroxide and implants. It still is used for fruit drinks and occasionally breasts.
Nausea = náusea [NAHW-see-ah]
Naval = naval [nah-VAHL] like in the US Navy.
Nectar = néctar [NEHK-tahr]
Negro = means black as a color and a human subdivision. [NEH-groh] ,
Neon = neón [neh-OHN] . Since we invented this also, they should pronounce it our way.
Neural = [nehw-RAHL]
Neuralgia = [nehw-RAHL-heeah]
Neurosis = Neutral = [nehw-TRAHL]
NEW AGE = English word, pronounced our way
Ninja = The only real Jap word we know, instead of just made up; as is papa-saun, O.K. We just thought of Banzai and Samurai. That makes three total. If you don’t like Spanish, knock yourself out, but they (the Orientals, know their language is so hard, that they have all learned English.
No = no is this a great language to learn or what? Unless you hear no being said after you filled her with vodka and cerveza.
Noble = [NOH-bleh] Spanish switch makes it KNOW-bleh
Nominal = [noh-mee-NAHL]
Normal = [nohr-MAHL] (this writing team has nothing to do with this word)
Notables = [noh-TAH-blehs]
Nuclear = [nuu-clee-AHR]
Numeral = [nuu-meh-RAHL]
Nylon = same
Oasis = [oh-AH-sees] Now the Arabs lose since it’s their word.
Oboe = [oh-BOH-eh] . We’re not sure whose word this originally was, but surely the Hispanics changed it. (So now it sounds like we say “oh, Boy!”)
Observable = Obsession = obsesión [ob-seh-SION]
Occasion = ocasión [oh-cah-SION] most readers can’t spell this on every “occassion”. Just joking, we added an “s” because you’re not sure, in English.
Occasional = ocasional [oh-cah-seeoh-NAHL] they drop the extra c.
Occidental = [ohx-see-dehn-TAHL]
Ocular = [oh-cuu-LAHR]
Official = oficial [oh-fee-see-AHL] It looks like they shucked an unnecessary f.
OK = same as in English. Finally we win one. The derivation comes from Civil War days (1861-1865) when notices of injured and dead were sent to small towns across America, both Union and Confederate, and when the small town had no losses, they received: “O K” which meant zero (0) Killed. Other legends relate O.K. to war supplies received from a guy named “Kelly,” but in all events, it is homegrown Americana and has spread worldwide. Okey doky is also seen in the 2 variations illustrated. It sounds just as nerdy in Español as it does in English. So don’t say it! Our gringo image is already tarnished badly enough. Our words “taxi,” “OK,” and “Hotel” are now universal.
Omelet = same frenchies again
Omission = omisión [oh-mee-SION]
Opera = ópera [OH-peh-rah] The Frogs win another one. You will see later that they have never won anything else except with their tongues. We must say this is probably an Italian word but we´d rather blame the french since they are the daintiest.
Opinion = opinión [oh-pee-NEON] Of course, everyone has their own. No way to win. Also illustrates the “ñ” as they use it.
Oral = [oh-RAHL] . Don’t roll this “r.” One of the few times.
Orbital = [ohr-bee-TAHL]
Ordinal = [ohr-dee-NAHL]
Oregano = orégano [oh-REH-gah-noh]
Oriental = [o-rehen-TAHL] this is as close as you want to come to any of those oriental languages, or alphabets, or numerical systems. We put it in for the restaurants that you will need to ask about. On the other hand, it is our book and we don´t have to justify anything we do. Of course, if you love cats and dogs, you won’t be eating at one of these restaurants anyway.
Origen = [oh-REE-hen] (the ge makes it he every time)
Original = [o-ree-hee-NAL] . The “g” becomes an “H” sound because of the following “i.”
Ornamental = [ohr-nah-men-TAHL]
Ostensible = [ohs-ten-SEE-bleh]
Osteoporosis = [ohs-teh-oh-poh-ROH-sees]
Out! = [ooutt!]
Outlet = same
Palpable = [pahl-PAH-bleh]