Conversations Over Cards
- Short Script Series –
Episode One
“Friends & Booty”
COREY
AARON
BURKES
D E S K T O P E P I C S
Conversations Over Cards
- Short Script Series -
EBook Edition PUBLISHED BY DESKTOPEPICS Entertainment at Smashwords
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Copyright © 2005 Corey A. Burkes
Discover other titles by Corey A. Burkes at Smashwords
Cover design by Corey Aaron Burkes
All Rights Reserved. Printed in the United States of America
Originally Written: 11/15/2005
First EBook Edition: 1/21/2012
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This short story, except for the physical or digital printing, binding and professional editing, was handcrafted in every detail by the author, Corey Aaron Burkes.
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For
1944-2012
Ma … please be proud of me.
Acknowledgements
To the great actor Russell Jordan whom the main character, Doug, and this entire script, was designed for. Thanks for the years of friendship.
FADE IN:
BLACKBACKGROUND
Sounds of a deck of cards being shuffled. TITLE CARD and EPISODE TITLE appears.
INT. KITCHEN - WEEKEND – DAY
Inside a kitchen with two men and two women. The cards are being shuffled by DOUG. He continues shuffling the cards with professional skill. MARGO is staring at him incredulously. Seated aside of them both to complete the circle are JAMIE, flipping through a magazine and MARK, playing a Playstation Portable video game.
MARGO
This is why I hate playing with you.
Doug continues to shuffle.
DOUG
You know ... hate is a strong word.
MARGO
(Annoyed)
I have a few others.
JAMIE
Now, now you two. Careful ... My virgin ears.
MARGO & MARK
(in Unison)
Virgin?!?
JAMIE
Go to hell.
Doug puts down the cards and splits them into two decks. Margo reaches over and takes the cards in a huff.
MARGO
(Grumbling)
As if you were in some casino.
Two hours to shuffle a damn deck of cards.
Doug watches her deal the deck to the group, flipping out a series of cards to each then slamming the deck down in the middle of the table, reaching for her own cards to figure out what she has.
Doug is staring at her. He picks up his cards and gives a subtle 'harrumph'.
MARGO (CONT'D)
What?
DOUG
(Under his breath)
Nothing.
MARGO
(Disgusted)
What?!
DOUG
I'm just thinking. What? I can't think?
Margo adjusts her cards carefully.
MARGO
First timers need to let somebody know
when they are trying something new, that's all.
Jamie chuckles as well as Mark, getting the evil glare of death from Doug. Mark clears his throat, returning to his game.
DOUG
(To Margo)
Now that's your problem.
MARGO
I would think that was your problem.
DOUG
You have no respect for me.
MARGO
You have to earn ...
DOUG
(Interrupting)
I EARNED it and you know it.
Margo continues adjusting her cards, smiling.
DOUG (CONT'D)
But that's just like your kind to mess up something good.
MARGO
My kind?
DOUG
Female kind. Gender. Species. Whatever.
MARGO
Whatever is right, you cornball.
(To Jamie)
Get this loser with the ‘your’ kind business.
JAMIE
(Looking at her cards)
You picked him.
MARGO
I got him on sale. He was lost. Had no home. What was I to do?
DOUG
Are you finished? You see right there. Right there.
You have something good and it's your God-given duty to screw it up.
What? What do you chicks do ...?
MARGO
Chicks are we now?
DOUG
Sit around berating men every chance you get with
your snappy one-liner, men are dogs routine?
You women want to make everyone's lives miserable
Just because you’re miserable.
Margo stares at him for just a moment, as does Jamie. Jamie returns to her magazine reading.
MARGO
You'll have to explain that one to me. With clarity, thank you.
MARK
(Heavy sigh)
Here we go.
DOUG
She asked for it.
MARK
Preach.
DOUG
Church is now open.
Jamie and Margo look dumbfounded at the two.
DOUG (CONT'D)
My friend calls me the other day and was all
upset over some girl he was seeing.
MARGO
Define 'seeing'. I need more clarity of that term.
DOUG
Why?
MARGO
What part of clarity did you miss?
DOUG
They were seeing each other. You know.
MARGO
Were they dating?
DOUG
I suppose so. They went out.
MARGO
Were they engaged?
DOUG & MARK
(In unison)
Nooooooo!
Margo frowns.
MARGO
So they were sleeping together.
DOUG
If you want to call it that ... Look, can I finish my story?
MARGO
I just want all the details.
DOUG
ANYWAY ... He was hanging out with this girl and
she broke up with him just the other day.
MARGO
Why?
DOUG
Because she got all bent out of shape.
She was like, 'All I am is a booty-call to you.
You only call me when you want to hit the skins.'
MARGO
(confused)
Booty call? Hit the ... Hit the skins?
(to Mark)
What is this? 1995?
Doug is a little confused
.
DOUG
What?
JAMIE
Man ... No one used that term since H-Town.
MARK
(Singing)
Gimme that good love...
JAMIE & MARK
(Singing)
Somebody rockin knockin da' boots.
All three laugh at Doug.
DOUG
(Gesturing at Mark)
This is my best friend.
MARK
Damn right I am.
DOUG
Whose side are you on?
(To Margo)
Where the hell was I? You guys get me sick.
Listen ... She said she wanted more and called it quits after
seeing each other for about 6 months almost a year.
They did everything together.
MARGO
So what's your point?
DOUG
You don't see it?
MARGO
Maybe your point isn't sharp enough.
DOUG
Why do you women always mess up something good?
Simple enough question.
MARGO
Let me get this straight? Your idiot ... excuse me ... Friend ...
DOUG
(Insulted)
Hey!
MARGO
Pardon me. I meant 'friend'. He was calling her only
for sex and you're asking me what?
DOUG
It wasn't only sex.
MARGO
You just said she got all bent out of shape.
She said all he did was call her to hit the skins, end-quote.
Mark spurts, choking another laugh.
DOUG
He did a lot for her. But that's not where I'm going.
Sex is a two-way street, no?
MARGO
For some.
JAMIE
For some it's frequented high-traffic one way street.
(Gesturing at Mark)
Ain't that right, boo-boo?
Jamie blows a kiss at Mark while she gestures with a 'masturbating' hand-motion. Mark frowns at her.
MARK
I KNOW you're not talking with over a thousand
dollars’ worth of ... accessories ... to privately please yourself.
JAMIE
You love my ASScessories.
MARK
(Smiling)
Damn right I do, baby.
DOUG
My point is ... she liked it and wanted it
just as much as he did.
MARGO
So six months later, she messes up a good thing.
It's her fault for dropping the ball.
Is that what you’re getting at?
DOUG
Precisely.
MARGO
In this so-called relationship.
Who was it good for?
DOUG
Both of them!
MARGO
Are you sure about that?
DOUG
Come on! From what I heard, she was loving what they had!
Oh so happy to finally find herself a good man.
How is she going to just stop and call it a booty call?
MARGO
Cause that's all it was.
DOUG
Noooo! They did things. They went places and he spent money.
MARGO
So that justifies sex on demand?
DOUG
That justifies two adults having sex when they...
MARGO
HE...
DOUG
THEY ... are feeling like it. That's another of your problems right there.
You think sex is something men want exclusively
when you females have a whole billion dollar industry
on getting the best sex possible. Have you seen the cover of
Cosmopolitan lately? Doesn’t matter. Pick any cover. ‘Great Sex Now!’
MARGO
True to some degree.
However, what men do is prioritize sex
over other reasonable topics of interest.
MARK
As we should!
It's an important part of a nutritious breakfast.
DOUG
Lunch
MARK
... and dinner!
MARGO
(Laughing)
Any man that equates sex to something you eat has issues.
DOUG
(Smugly; sneering)
Well...
MARGO
(Interrupting)
Don't go there, you pig.
JAMIE
(Annoyed)
I'm saying.
DOUG
If the sex is good, why should she stop?
MARGO
If the relationship isn't progressive,
why should she continue?
DOUG
How you figure?
MARGO
I don't even know your friend and I can tell you
what they did every day of those six months.
DOUG
Okay ... shoot.
MARGO
Month one, met her and about a week or two had sex.
DOUG
I'll give you that. Two points.
MARGO
A week or so later, went to the movies. Maybe dinner. Had sex.
DOUG
(Sighing)
Okay.
MARGO
Lots of sex here and there in-between.
More movies ... hanging out.
DOUG
(Grumpy)
Go on.
MARGO
Now I'm in month two. More movies ...
oh, look ... rent a couple of DVD's over her place ... more sex.
DOUG
Look ... he bought those DVD's just for her!
Columbia House had a great deal on...
MARGO
Month three. Maybe a weekend trip somewhere ... the mall ...
maybe daring enough to go on some couples thing.
Gotta do at least one of them to keep the investment fresh.
DOUG
(Frowning)
I was told the bed and breakfast
was lovely and we ought to try it.
MARGO
(Sucking her teeth)
More sex. Month four ... more sex.
DOUG
At least a dinner. I’m sure they had to eat.
MARGO
More sex.
DOUG
Okay, okay...
MARGO
You see where I'm going with this?
(Sarcastic; rolling her eyes)
I know what you’re thinking. So what's the problem?
DOUG
Exactly.
MARGO
It's all sex.
DOUG
With a couple of dates.
MARGO
Okay. I'll give you that. A couple of dates.
Where is it going from there?
DOUG
I don't know.
Where ever they wanted it to go.
MARGO
Did your friend think about the future?
DOUG
(Groaning)
Awww, come on! Why does he have to think further than the here and now?
Their having fun—enjoying life. Don't even go there with the
lets get married and raise some cows crap.
MARGO
I...
DOUG
(Interrupting)
Wait a minute. At what point can a relationship just relax?
Nothing more. Nothing less.
MARGO
Anytime.
DOUG
Lies!
MARGO
Anytime ... but there has to be a limit.
A place and time when the fun just has to stop and we get serious.
DOUG
And according to your kind, that's right about after the first date.
MARGO
So what if it is? Somebody has to think of the future.
Somebody has to say, where is this relationship going?
DOUG
To bed! Maybe the backseat of the car, on the floor or on top
of the refrigerator, for all I care. I met you, you dig me,
we just want to sweat something's out and call it a day.
MARGO
What in the hell do you call that?
DOUG
A friendship.
Margo squints at him, thinking deeply.
MARGO
Hmmm.
Doug is proud of himself.
DOUG
(Smiling)
Ahh. You like that, right? I gave you that Kung-Fu logic
right to your noggin’. You’re like, ‘I’m not ready for this level.’
And I’m like …
(Stern voice)
‘No you’re not, grasshopper. Check yo’self before you …’
MARGO
(Interrupting)
You know, I'm seeing something for the first time.
DOUG
What's that?
MARGO
YOUR kind actually has a division of friends of your own.
Remember our last discussion?
DOUG
(Looking at his cards)
I'm sorry, I do not recollect.
MARGO
Lying dog! Just the other day we had it out about why women have all these friends!
Oh, he's just a friend meanwhile she's boinking him.
Might I add, 'boinking' was your word! You hypocritical bastard!
DOUG
(Calmly)
Mark, you hear this?
MARK
Oh my goodness.
DOUG
I can't believe the language coming out of your mouth.
Does your mama know you've got such a potty mouth?
MARGO
I'mma slap you in a minute.
You set up the perfect argument the other
day and I almost conceded to your ... your ... ass-ology
you call intelligence. You know damn well you separate friends
your screwing and your platonic friends. You made it seem
like we women don't know what the 'f' we're doing and you do it too!
Doug adjusts his cards and lays down a set on the table.
DOUG
It's a new era.
MARGO
Oh Please!
DOUG
My man and that girl were sexual friends, she wanted more
and he did not want to go that route.
Simple, finished, end of story.
Margo points at him, excitedly.
MARGO
So you concede that all he wanted was sex?
DOUG
I am saying she wanted to extend the relationship past its usefulness,
thus deciding to ruin a wonderful friendship.
By that decision, who’s the loser in this one?
MARGO
If she finds someone else she can love,
eventually marry and be happy, I think she'll be just fine.
DOUG
He use to take her out on the town.
Do things for her.
MARGO
(Smirking)
See plenty of movies.
DOUG
Regardless ... now she's single, lonely and crying
that she can't find a good man when ... hello! She had one.
MARGO
That's impossible to say.
DOUG
He never beat her. Never put a hand on her.
MARGO
(Coughing)
That hardly constitutes someone being good for someone.
For god sakes, you could be an armless, legless handicap and still be an ass.
DOUG
So, as a woman, you’re willing to sacrifice having sex with
someone you know, trust and are familiar with; who takes you out
and treats you with decent respectability and actually
spends time with you in favor of being single?
MARGO
If we're not walking the same path, I can get
the same thrill from a box of chocolates ...
JAMIE
Some Ben and Jerry’s!
MARGO
I hear that! A good book by Corey Burkes, Grey's Anatomy seasons 1 & 2
and a bubble bath and I'm straight. Hell ... add my toy and the deal is sealed.
JAMIE
(Clearing her throat)
I’m gonna, kinda have to disagree with that one.
MARGO
You know what I mean!
DOUG
(To Margo)
You got toys?
MARGO
My your business! There is nothing wrong with sex.
Yes, we love it but the emotional connection is a little different.
You can do it and still call me a friend.
I can do it and plan to call you my husband.
DOUG
Not all women.
MARGO
No, not all women. Everyone's different.
But on average, sex is more meaningful for a woman.
Show me a woman who doesn't care how much sex she has
and I'll show you a woman who may have been abused in her past.
Verbally or physically. Or maybe lost a connection with her father or male figure.
DOUG
I see.
MARGO
So I applaud that girl for wanting a little more. She's focused.
(Cocking a brow at him)
Some people have plans for the future.
Doug is about to say something, checking Margo's expression. She’s waiting for him to respond.
MARGO (CONT'D)
Go 'head. Say something crazy.
DOUG
(Stammering)
I ... was just going to say I appreciate our friendship and
whatever the future holds will be presented to us in due time.
MARGO
(Sucking her teeth)
Nice dodge. We shall see.
She lays down her cards and sits back away from the table.
MARGO (CONT'D)
Gin.
Doug looks dumbfounded at his loss, dropping the cards, rolling his eyes exasperated.
MARGO (CONT'D)
And you’re not getting any tonight.
Doug looks hurt. Mark cringes, playing his video game.
MARK
Ouch.
THE END
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