The Nuts and Bolts How to Destroy Demons Safetly
and
How to Forgive
By CVDJR
Material Copyright Aug. 9, 2004 CVDJR
Smashwords Edition
THE MOVIE AND TV RIGHTS TO THE AUTHOR’S PERSONAL STORY IS FOR SALE.
TABLE OF CONTENTS
What Everyone Should Know About
Introduction
CHAPTER 1
Marriage and relationship
What happen to equal rights
Doctor’s advice
First four years
Doctor asked
CHAPTER 2
An introduction to spirit guides
One true answer
Frog and scorpion
Aliens
CHAPTER 3
Traumatic experiences
Snow storm
Private no admission
Common tricks
Description of
Consequences of traumatic experiences
Signs of possession
Spiritual possession
Additional signs of possession
Occult activities
Conditions that warrant possession
Demon goals
Serving self
Spider
Astor travel
CHAPTER 4
Experiences with demons / spirit guides
Demons control my car
Brother-in-law
All death threats ceased
Attacked
Interesting events
Dance partner
Attacked
Woman friend possessed
Shrinks informed me
Women plot my murder
Attacked
Volleyball in the park
Traveling business woman
Married woman
Women possessed
Blind date
Spirit guide’s confession
Paul in the bible
Confessed gay
My driving
Super natural experience
Looking death in the eye
Power of prayer
Shrink’s warning
First date
Woman at athletic club
My candida
Three sales ladies
He spoke in tongues
Woman shrink
Demons active in America
Hugged by God
Swaying in the Breeze
CHAPTER 5
Identifying demons / spirit guides
Temporary commands
My introduction to faith
CHAPTER 6
Forgiveness / Prayer
God’s gifts
Tug of war
Unique lessons
Little scrub pine tree
Child forgiveness
My hate and anger
Benefits of forgiveness
Results of forgiveness
God’s promise
To be a Christian
Amount of faith
CHAPTER 7
Prayer / Forgiveness
Receive God’s power
Answer to one prayer
Hindrances to prayer
Pray daily
God answers prayers
Prayer benefits
Praise Jesus Christ of Nazareth
How to pray
Sinner’s prayer
You have learned 218
Results of a lack of forgiveness
Pencil eraser
How to give problems away
Remember
CHAPTER 8
Preparing for battle
Jesus Christ of Nazareth came to
Personal preparation
God’s armor
Challenge all spirits
Authority
Don’ts
Final preparations
How to reclaim America
No not done
Pack with occult
Making holy
Curses and Hexes
Cut Outs
Index
Bible Scriptures
My List of People to Forgive
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
The information presented herein is a result from my personal experiences, conversations with hundreds of people and visiting church services over my 70 years of life, taking notes, and reading my bible. Many of the men and women I met throughout my life shared and contributed personal intimate information with me. The results are my own feelings and discoveries and my opinions of the information I have learned. The information worked for me.
I must add that we are in a war with the spiritual world! Unfortunately most people are not aware of this or ignore this knowledge or don’t understand whats going on around themselves. This information is designed to help equip those who want to do something about this condition. It is up to you to use or not to use, to believe or not to believe. Know this, the material worked for this Christian with faith, belief, and trust in Jesus Christ of Nazareth. How much faith do you have?
The best to you and your loved ones in this war against spiritual aliens.
WHAT EVERYONE SHOULD KNOW ABOUT
How to deal with hate, anger and a lack of forgiveness!
The danger of carrying hate and anger in your heart!
How to forgive completely, totally and absolutely!
How to pray and to whom!
How to have peace of mind in Jesus Christ of Nazareth!
What are, “Higher Powers,” “Higher Authorities,” “Physical Authorities,” “Physical Powers,” “Spirit Guides,” “Demons,” “Devils,” and “Spiritual Beings?”
What are their goals?
How are they achieving their goals?
Who is the voice inside of your head from?
God does not speak to HIS Saints with a voice, only through HIS written word!
By what right do they possess me or others?
How to destroy demons and spiritual beings safely!
“My personal victory over satan and his spiritual beings!”
How you too can be a winner over your demons!
Remember the Jones Town followers had a voice in their heads and they committed suicide.
How to have power and authority in the name of Jesus Christ of Nazareth over demons / spirit guides / spiritual beings / spiritual aliens / higher powers, devils every day.
What are spirit guides, spiritual aliens?
What are higher authorities, higher powers?
What are physical powers, physical authorities?
What is the physical energy attacking humans?
How powerful are they over my body, mind and soul?
How do I detect demon / spirit guide possession of my self and other?
Can they force me to do things I don’t want to do?
Can they destroy me if I don’t follow their influence?
By what right do they possess me or others?
Demons / spirit guides / spiritual aliens safe?
If not safe, how do I get rid of them?
Can I really get rid of them?
Can I keep them from possessing me?
Can they be destroyed by humans?
How to have power and authority over demons / spirit guides.
INTRODUCTION
This is my victory over the attempts of the demonic to possess my mortal body, mind and soul. How you too can be free physically, mentally and emotionally from your demon or demons. Whether you call your demon by a given name or recognize it by calling it, a higher power, physical power, higher authority, spirit guide, spiritual being, spiritual alien, physical energy, or as a demon, devil, or if you have multiple personalities, or you are gay. I’ll teach you how to identify and recognize demons. How you can become free. How to destroy demons safely. I’ll teach you their goals and how they achieve their goals. How easy it is for them to accomplish their goals through our own personal lusts. Their ability to pass from one generation to the following generation without obstruction through the same family.
I have spent the last 30 years searching out solutions and trying to understand the consequences of traumatic experiences in a person’s life. My wife of 17 years experienced 29 traumatic experiences including twice being raped, brother-in-law trying to kill her. I witnessed the dramatic change in her personality seeing her a few hours after murdering her baby in her womb and again after her rape. I saw the change in her two infant children having witnessed their mother’s rape and held as hostage. I married her two years later thinking that my love and forgiveness would help her heal. Instead, she and her children transferred their hate and anger to me two years into our marriage.
Shrinks 20 years later, 1987-1988, explained to me that they felt safe, thereby transferred their hate to me, and informed me, I should look at it as a very high compliment. They explained because I practiced turning the other cheek, I will have others take advantage of me.
I felt it was a cop out on their ability to know and understand my now ex or anyone else in the same situation. Nor did they have a working solution to her problems. Only one shrink could even explain the consequences of experiencing a traumatic experience. I will learn each traumatic experience a person goes through in their life, the following one doubles the consequences of the previous experience. Working 10 of my wife’s experiences out, the 10th was a thousand and twenty-four times worse than the first experience affecting my now ex. Taking it out to the twentieth experience equaled a million times worse than the first. When visiting six or seven shrinks and mentioning only 3 or 4 of my wife’s experiences, they all admitted she was a very sick woman.
I have not found peace without finishing the material in this book. I feel the material will help most people who really and truly want peace of mind, tranquility, joy and happiness for the rest of their life. I will give solutions to and suggestions on how to become well. I’ll also explain the role of spirit guides, evil spirits, spiritual aliens, higher powers, devils, demons, and how they played into the problems my wife was experiencing.
I’ll explain how spirit guides, spiritual beings tried to physically force themselves into my body, how I resisted their attempts to possess me. I will describe many of the attacks from spirit guides / evil spirits. How I identified the spirit guides / evil spirits. You’ll be able to do so to your own satisfaction upon finishing this book. I’ll teach you their goals, how to detect them, how to become free of their influence, physically and mentally of their possession of yourself.
Whether you call your internal being a spirit guide, spiritual alien, evil spirit, higher power, physical power, higher authority, physical energy, or if shrinks have informed you that you have multiple personalities, you are gay or have mental disease, or having voices in your head, the information in this book will help you become well. I will explain how you can prove for yourself what I have written is true.
Are demons destroying your life or the life of a loved one? Getting rid of a demon, each person needs to decide to do on their own. No one should decide for you or do without your permission. The only exception you are a child, spouse or in defense of your country.
I’ll describe some of my personal experiences during my life so when I explain how to be free, you believe. I pray you will follow the simple instructions, as I tell my story. I describe how and when I learned, how I applied the learned experience to my life.
I realize that I’ve said a lot for the unbeliever of demons. However, before you are through reading, the existence of demons and their possession of humans should be real to you. I’ll describe the effects they have on our lives without our understanding and all too often our personal knowledge.
The material in this book is designed to help anyone who has experienced a trauma or traumatic experience. The experience could be from WAR, RAPE, STOLEN FROM, ACCIDENTS OR FROM MOTHER NATURE, the person could be a witness or an intended victim.
My goal is to help one person. I pray that person be you. I pray that you have an open mind so you can finish this from cover to cover. May you receive personal freedom from anger, hate and a lack of forgiveness. This will truly be the first day of your life when you completely finish and share with your loved ones.
I challenge you to follow the solution for your healing with faith, belief and trust with what is written here. I personally have used the material and it worked for me. I’ve been 100% truthful to the best of my mortal being. When successful and you want to understand how this was successful, read the Holy Bible. Write the verses down from the bible on the pages of this book as they apply. You’ll find verses in the back to get you going.
Read this with an open mind and soul for your success today and everyday. I highly recommend this book for your wellness, physically and mentally. Read this book today and follow the instructions for yourself, family and friends. This information will help anyone having experienced any traumatic experience, including WAR.
The movie, and TV rights to my personal story is for sale. CVDJR
GOD’S PROMISE:
“THOSE WHO GOSSIP AND TELL
STORIES AND LIES TO DESTROY
MY SAINTS I WILL DESTROY, NONE
WILL ENTER HEAVEN”
“NO MAN CAN SERVE TWO GODS
AND GO TO HEAVEN”
“SATAN IS THE MASTER
OF LIES AND DECEIT”
www.howtoforgive.org
CHAPTER 1
MY RELATIONSHIP AND MARRIAGE
I’m about to step into a very strange and dangerous marriage, I did this on my own, there were plenty of warning signs. Looking back maybe God prepared me to handle these “Situations,” during my relationship with the woman and family I fell in love with and married, following my heart and not my common sense.
The bible says, God will not allow or put his followers and believers through more then they can handle. That was most certainly the situation with me. God protected me and saved me on many occasions before my marriage, he was there during my marriage and after my marriage failed. I often wished God rescued me a whole lot sooner. I often wished I’d waited longer for his answer to my prayers. The results of my marriage and life style was not what I had in mind for myself. Then again, any of us living one hundred percent the life or life style we dreamed of, or wanted for ourselves? I’m sure that’s true for every homeless or almost homeless person, to the President of the United Sates of America. We all have read about President Clinton’s problems and the problems of every president. (Murder of his governor body guards at Waco, TX and his having a mistress. Not the first President to have a mistress either.)
Three months before my ex is manipulated into leaving me, I decided to start taking notes of our conversations. People were acting strangely round me and towards me, sometimes I even thought maybe it’s me. I thought maybe I was the problem, although deep down, I was sure I was “ok.” I thought I was at least normal and sane. I seen fingers pointing at me when I stepped into a room and verbal remarks and whispering behind hands. So when I move from Spokane to Eugene because Jill says she’s willing to work things out. I informed our church pastor in Spokane, I believed her. My life after I arrived in Eugene will be threatened four or more times each day, I’m going to be called and accused of all kinds of nasty things. I’ll have guns pointed at me when people drive by. People would drive up close in old clunker cars and throw open their car doors while I’m ridding my bicycle.
I realized I had to get help and arrange for help for Jill at the same time. I called churches for counseling, I found only two pastors who were professionally trained. One was unavailable and the second I decided to listen to a sermon before setting up an appointment. I drove through the parking lot on Sunday morning and I discovered Jill’s car to my surprise. I didn’t attend and went ahead and set up an appointment. In the interview after our small talk getting acquainted I made the following statement. “Pastor, I’m beginning to feel like there’s something wrong with me. I swear that every conversation I’ve ever had with my wife she’s lied to me, could her being raped at gun point have anything to do with it?” “STOP RIGHT THERE, let me see if I can describe your wife to you.” When the Pastor stopped he asked me how he did and I responded. “You didn’t miss her once.” Months later this pastor will refuse to talk with me and I tried several times to set up an appointment. I’ll list his description of my ex later titled consequences of traumatic experiences and I’ll list my ex’s traumatic experiences.
Early spring after arriving in Eugene, I’ll learn of a program for men to help understand women and their problems after they’ve been raped. Since I was now single I was told I needed to be mentally and morally checked out. I had to be analyzed by a shrink before I could attend this program called, “Survivors of Incest for Men.” I qualified in every possible aspect for any male to attend. During the analyst interview with me and our discussions, he made a statement that will be so profound and have a lasting effect one me, as the hours and days grow into years.
This person was a local professional specializing in sexual aggression, victims and aggressors. At this point in my life, I had not accepted that I was raped. That I had been or was hurt emotionally. I’d never thought of my ex as mentally abusive towards me. I didn’t hurt physically, I had no bruises, no broken bones, if anyone had asked me, I would have responded, “No, I don’t think so, I never thought about it.”
That would be fairly accurate only because I’d learned how to forgive. It is not easy to forgive and it wasn’t for me either. I had to work long hours at forgiveness. I did not realize how deeply I was really and truly hurt by my now ex, until I walked out of this doctor’s office and for everyday for three and a half years I cried my heart out. During this time I’m going to literally stop what I’m doing where ever and bawl. I’ll take notes on the subject and why. The doctor’s words that put motion into my book was, “CD your wife, Jill, has hurt you very, very, very deeply.” I’ll never forget those words coming from a male shrink specializing in sexual crimes. I was stunned and shocked!
Later I’ll interview a marriage counselor and he’ll inform me that Jill and her children had transferred their hate and anger to me. The counselor was having a very difficult time explaining why they had done this to me. I didn’t understand how or why anyone could transform their hate and anger to someone that they loved. Finally I was informed.
“CD YOUR WIFE AND STEP CHILDREN HAVE
TRANSFERRED THEIR HATE AND ANGER TO YOU!” That I’d finally grasped, but why, how? “BECAUSE YOU ARE SAFE, YOU DON’T BEAT THEM UP, CUSS THEM OUT, SCREAM AT THEM AND BE PHYSICALLY ABUSIVE WITH THEM. YOU ARE COMPLETELY SAFE IN THEIR MINDS BECAUSE YOU FORGIVE AND PRACTICE TURNING THE OTHER CHEEK. CD, YOU ARE THE WHITE KNIGHT IN THEIR LIFE.”
Put into this manner helped me to understand better. Well, better then the five hundred dollar words that I couldn’t understand. If I was safe, why couldn’t they just love me? I finally realized and accepted it was because their hate and anger in their hearts burned so deeply from the previous marriage. Yes, I was very hurt at the time and to this day. I’m still being very deeply hurt from their lies. It appears twenty-five years after the divorce the lies will continue. I’ve been informed the lies will continue to grow nastier each time they’re told for the rest of my life. I’ve been informed that the only way to win is to out live the liars.
A third counselor will inform me my wife is a pathological liar caused by physical or mental disorder. All because my wife has experienced a serious trauma as well as her children. I will be the one vented on with their lies. All because I’m safe and not abusive with them.
Before dating and marrying Jill, I was happy, care free, confident, responsible sales manager. Three years into my marriage, I will begin to lose the ability to laugh and joke around. My health will worsen as my immune system will begin to fail and I become very weak physically, and decisions will be slow in developing. I’ll even think about committing suicide and that scared me. I held my thirty-eight to my temple and stuck it into my mouth on other occasions. I could not bring myself to pull the trigger.
Right from the beginning of our relationship and all the following years. Jill was never one hundred percent honest with me in any conversation. Jill would lead me to believe she was telling me a fact or truth, I’ll learn within minutes to ten to twelve years later she’d lied. Over a fifteen year span on four or five occasions Jill admitted to me, she often told me what, “She wanted me to know and had lied to me.” Each time she admitted to me she lied, she immediately within seconds, denied making the confession to me. At this time Jill’s body and facial features changed.
1. I often couldn’t recognize her towards the end of our relationship during any of our conversations.
2. Jill had bumps or lumps all over her face.
3. Jill’s eyes turned red.
4. Voice changed to a deep, gravelly tone.
Many shrinks call this multiple personalities to throw people off. This is a sign of “DEMON POSSESSION!” People claim to have “Spirit Guides.” Any name you call “it,” they are nasty, smelly, slimy, dirty demons, which are God’s fallen angels thrown out of heaven because they’re so vile. The bible calls them spiritual aliens, devils, and demons and many other names!
One of the last conversations I have with Jill, she informs me,
“CD, I KNOW, I’LL LIVE TO SEE THE DAY, I REGRET DOING TO YOU, WHAT I’M DOING TO YOU!”
Within days of this conversation with Jill, I’ll have a conversation with her daughter Lynn. One of the few times Lynn looks me straight in the eye and informs me.
“DADDY, I KNOW YOU KNOW, I TELL YOU ONE THING AND MOMMY SOMETHING ELSE. DADDY, YOU DESERVED TO BE BETTER TREATED BY ME. BECAUSE MY MOTHER DIDN’T LOVE ME, I BROKE UP YOUR MARRIAGE. I’D DO ANY THING TO GET MY MOTHER’S LOVE. CD, WHEN YOU’RE OLD AND DON’T HAVE A PLACE TO LIVE, YOU CAN LIVE IN MY HOME. YOU’VE WORKED SO HARD AND DON’T HAVE ANYTHING TO SHOW FOR IT.”
That surprised me coming from Lynn. I realized that would be as close to an apology as I would ever get from her. I would think she’d at least stop lying and telling nasty stories, especially at the age of twenty-two. I’m sorry to say, that never happened, apparently the lies have gotten worse. I’ve gotten threatening phone calls from a man who claimed to be a Eugene City Policeman, whom I’m positive today is a shrink with the first name of James. I’m sure within five minutes of Jill’s and Lynn’s confession to me, both would either forget or deny saying. That’s the life of a liar and one that’s possessed.
At the time I was seeing the counselors, I mentioned to them that I’d thrown my stepdaughter out of my bedroom over and over many times. I’d thrown her out of my bed nude at least fifteen times over a three year period. I had forgotten to mention each time I had thrown her out of the master bedroom, I discovered her brother was watching through the bedroom window. Within two hours of each situation both would approach me separately and make two statements. “Daddy you are more of a Christian than you think you are!” And, “Daddy you are more of a Christian than mommy!” I actually received these two statements two to three times a week over a six year period until both left our home.
One of the counselors asked me several questions such as; “Wasn’t she all over you? Why didn’t you want her? CD was you afraid of being caught? CD was you afraid of getting her pregnant?” My response to these questions and a dozen or so others was, “I didn’t want her in anyway shape or form. I honestly didn’t want her in my home. The thought of being caught never crossed my mind. Because I didn’t want her physically in anyway. I simply wanted her out of my life anyway possible. To be honest, this thought scared me the most.” “Anyway possible out of my home.” I never ever voiced this thought, except at this moment.
The questions that got me to thinking and caused me a tremendous amount of pain to remember were;
“CD how did you over come Lynn’s advances towards you?” “CD how did you over come your consuming hate and anger towards both Jill and Lynn?” “How did you over come your disappointment of Jill in turning her back to you daily in response to your pleas for help concerning your fears of Lynn?”
It took me about six months to begin to remember answers to these questions and another 10 years of pain to completely remember all. It was not until now that I realized just how much Jill, my wife had hurt me.
(I was tested by three of the 6 or 7 shrink counselors to find out if I was a predator of children and women and given a clean bill of health. I was also informed that my step daughter was trying to put herself in a position to say no, but I was doing that, so she kept trying. My thought to my self at the time was bull @#$%^.)
After seeing the counselors it took me another six or seven years to remember that each time I physically threw Lynn out of the bedroom I caught a glimpse of Roy’s face ducking out of view through the window. Why? Twice I ran halfway to the back door to catch him when I stopped. I decided not to lower my personal values to find out why? I’ve regretted not doing so as I still have unanswered questions.
What Lynn attempted to do to me while I’m asleep if it was a boy climbing into a girl’s bed or a grown woman’s bed he’d be arrested for rape. A girl doing this, I’ve been told “That’s too bad, the man is guilty.” I’ve even been told, “She’s just doing what’s normal for a girl.” “The man has no right to feel he’s been violated and raped.” That’s exactly how I felt, raped! I had no one I could ask for help from but God. I’ve talked with hundreds of men and wives over the years that shared this experience in their family life with me. They all had the same opinion.
THE MAN IS RAPED IN THIS SITUATION! ALL MEN HAD OR FELT THE SAME FEELING OF BEING VIOLATED AND RAPED AS A WOMAN.
WHAT HAPPENED TO EQUAL RIGHTS?
It took me six months to “begin” to remember this one situation in my marriage. All I could remember was I’d forgiven both Jill and her daughter. My mind was a complete blank initially. It took me ten years to fully remember this situation. I had no physical nor mental memory to recall these situations and my feelings. Since, I’ve often wished I hadn’t remembered because it’s brought up a tremendous amount of pain and hurt, I’d forgiven and forgot completely. I’d also forgotten how often I’d thought of taking my own life during this time. It took me three weeks to forgive Lynn and another five weeks to forgive Jill so I would have peace of mind. I had to do this many times during my marriage.
In writing my notes I’ve often wished I had visual recall. I’ve had to reopen wounds and relive a tremendous amount of pain. Pain I’d forgiven and forgot and closed the door on.
I’m approaching twenty-five years in writing about my failure in life. I don’t really want anyone to know my story. I often couldn’t pick up a pen and paper to write, extending from days and months to as long as two years and three years a second time. Often I carried the notebook from my bedroom to the car and from the car back to my bedroom daily for months. I never open the notebook at this time. Confessing my failure is not easy, but if I can help one person, just little “O” you, then it will be worth while. I pray I’ve included enough of God’s, WISDOM, KNOWLEDGE AND TRUTH, for anyone wanting help to be successful.
Know this, only “TRUTH,” Will set you free….Without truth you become a prisoner to fear, lies, hate, anger and a lack of forgiveness. With truth you become free. Trust me, I am free! Give me one percent of belief and I’ll earn the rest. So read on, maybe you’ll find some solutions to what ails you. Your reward could be freedom for life,…make that for an eternity.
During this relationship with Jill and her family, I’m going to have the same feelings and pain, that women go through. The same pain from rape, child birth, (Kidney Stones) attempted murder, beat up by eight policemen while sick physically and so weak I’m sleeping twenty hours a day for two years as a result of Jill’s lies. There were at least six plots to murder me by my wife during our marriage and many others after our divorce by strangers because of her lies. I couldn’t press charges at the time because I was informed it was my word vs hers because I had no witness.
Four male counselors, shrinks, informed me that they would not have survived the temptations that (satan) life presented to me during my marriage. They all confessed they would not have been able to withstand the ordeals I faced. They congratulated me in my ability to keep my morals and integrity in tact. So maybe instead of saying, “My failures,” I should say, “My victory over satan with God’s protective hedge about little “O” bald headed me.”
The effect on Jill concerning her killing a baby, the following year being raped at gun point, her two children witnessed and held as hostage, were disastrous. Jill’s lies multiplied after each event, ten times so! Jill’s mental and emotional problems escalated like a big mushroom of radioactive fall out, compounding beyond my belief and understanding.
Jill was filled with hate and anger when I met her from her life at home and her previous marriage. She then carried this anger all through our marriage, and when I asked, “Why do you hate your ex?” or “Why do you hate your daughter?” Jill’s response was always, “No where is it written I have to forgive, besides if I hate someone tough. I can learn to live without them.” Jill turned and physically stomped out of the room.
Jill is going to kick every member of her family out of her life, and I’m going to be present when she does this. I will be the last one she kicks out of her life informing me in a nasty tone of voice, “CD you are not family.” When I tried to counter she got nastier, turned around and stomped out of the room.
I knew God’s word on this at the time and I felt then as I feel today, Jill’s spirit guide / demon was carrying on the conversation with me through complete physical possession of Jill internally. In this context the demon would be absolutely correct, I am not of satan’s family, making Jill’s (the demon’s) statement correct!
Jill experienced 29 traumatic experiences, anyone of these traumatic experiences is tantamount to personal disaster. Each new traumatic experience doubles the previous traumatic experience compounding upon compounding each negative experience in her life. Each trauma affecting Jill physically, mentally, emotionally, spiritually, compounding her problems. Jill will become a master of lies and deceit. I witnessed Jill going through five of these traumatic experiences. I’ll see her character and personality change for the worse each time drastically.
I will only realize fifteen years after the divorce, the consequences to Jill. How it affected her and her ability to hide and cover up her emotional problems from everyone including her mom and dad. Since Jill was twelve years old and the physical traumatic experiences of that year, Jill’s hands would break out with bubbles, often these bubbles would rupture, all the skin on her hands would peal off. Doctors’ informed the family that Jill was allergic to her own skin and flesh. Personally, when I heard this story my opinion was horse pucky. I am now convinced that it was from stress and possibly from possession by a spirit guides / demons.
These traumatic experiences will feed Jill’s lack of forgiveness. A lack of forgiveness breeds “hate, anger and death,” more ways than I wish to mention here. Satan is one not to lose an opportunity to win and destroy through a lack of forgiveness. We must always remember hate and anger are satan’s main tool of destruction of a human being. It is the easiest avenue of destruction for satan to feed.
I learned when I was very young boy a lack of forgiveness destroys the holder and destroys relationships with everyone that person meets. The lack of forgiveness opens the door for possession by physical forces, higher powers, higher authorities, spirit guides, spiritual aliens, devils, demons and the like, as well as intentionally seeking them out.
Living with a person that has a lack of forgiveness in their heart and possessed with a physical force, is not an experience I’d wish anyone to live. No person can help these people unless of course, these people want help and ask. Only then can a person be helped. I’m not the only person to live with or married to a person possessed by physical forces, higher authorities, spirit guides or demons.
It seemed that most of the women I met while single carried baggage, not just children and physical debris, but mental problems. Their baggage was hate, anger and a lack of forgiveness and most didn’t bother to hide or I seen through their hate and anger. Their reaction was the same as when I asked Jill, why she had so much hate and anger and why she didn’t forgive? “No where is it written I have to forgive, besides, if I hate someone tough. I can learn to live without them!” (Several women admitted that they needed their hate and anger to live.) Jill then turned away from me, finishing the last three or so words with her back to me. So I couldn’t see the terrible expression on her face.
DOCTOR’S ADVICE
I was swinging my legs casually as the doctor was asking me questions concerning my personal life. Its at this time he informs me, “CD, by all rights you should have bled to death! Someone is watching over you!” “I see here that you’re married.” “How long have you been married?” I responded, “2 years.” Out of the blue the doctor asked me to rate my marriage to Jill. I’d been sitting and swinging my legs freely on a table like the school teacher’s have in the back of the classrooms very relaxed and stopped. I thought mentally what does this have to do with my physical? I responded, “Well, it could be a whole lot better!” The doctor responded! “I think you should get out of your marriage as fast as you can before something worse happens to you!”
Those words froze me right there. I asked myself, “Why, did he say these words? We haven’t even talked about Jill, not one word! What does he know? What does he understand? He’s telling me to get out of my marriage.” The wheels went spinning on those words as my mind raced. I asked the doctor for more reasoning, so I could understand where he was coming from. He simply said, “Jill is the source of your injury, as the weakest part of your body gave out. CD next time it might be your heart or something else vital to your body.”
The doctor finished the physical. I sat there quiet and as still as a church mouse. My head spun, coming up with the same conclusion as the doctor had in fifteen minutes. I’ve been in the fire for some four years and hadn’t thought and figured it out for myself.
I left the doctor’s office and drove to the outskirts of John Day before heading to Baker City and home. I decided to stop and get a coke at a restaurant. Not finding one, I stopped at a tavern. I sat there sipping the Coke thinking what the doctor had informed me. I couldn’t believe it, yet I knew it was the truth. I didn’t want to face the truth either as I sat there and quietly cried. I vaguely noticed a cute bartender and her cute girl friend trying to flirt with me. I couldn’t even respond back with a smile. I left after thirty minutes and cried most of the way home, thinking about Jill and the children.
I’ll never forget this doctor’s appointment for as long as I live.
The following day, I started reading my bible, something that I hadn’t read regularly in years. I hunted for answers concerning my marriage, and how to get out of the marriage. I found that interesting because I didn’t look into the bible before I got married. My intention was to follow the doctor’s advice, and “GET OUT OF THE MARRIAGE, AS SOON AS POSSIBLE.”
However, I decided to follow God’s written word because we’re all going to church twice a week. My fear of God was stronger than my fear of Jill and her family! If you believe the truth so should you fear God more than anything else on earth. Remember the truth of God will set you free. May your fear of God, BE REAL because he has the power over death and life for an Eternity and that is real power! It’s not just physical death of our body, but the death of our soul.
What I learned was not what I wanted to learn from God’s word. I have often wished I had come home, packed my clothes and driven off and simply disappeared. Had I done this and left out of ignorance, I could have simply asked forgiveness from God. Unfortunately for me, I was seriously concerned for the children’s safety, from their own mother. I was in love with the children and their mother for that matter, making it even a harder decision.
I’m into the bible hunting for answers to my dilemma in secret that I created on my own. In addition, I’m praying silently almost every minute of everyday, how to get out of my marriage in earnest. In studying and praying, my prayers are not answered with the solution, “THAT I WANTED!”
In getting back “into” God’s written word, I’m going to relearn and make new discoveries. The knowledge will confirm my faith and belief in Jesus Christ of Nazareth even stronger. I’m going to learn that I’ve been doing the right things all along. I didn’t realize how important it was to me in taking everything in prayer to God was.
THE FIRST FOUR YEARS
1. I’ve seen a Doctor who volunteers instructions, “Get out of your marriage now, before something worse happens to you.” (Blaming my marriage for my injury and informing me, “CD, by all rights you should have bled to death.”)
2. Jill is lying to me during our day to day conversations.
3. Jill sneaks out on a date having informed me it was business. 11 P.M. I load the children and drive 12 miles into town and find her at a tavern. Afraid of what I might do, I sent both children into the tavern to find their mother. They were inside for twenty minutes and forced to ride home with their drunk mother. Home both children refused to talk with me. They admitted to being scared of their mother.
4. Jill is demanding to have a baby and not loving her own daughter and I said no because of this.
5. Only time Jill says I love you is during physical love making. (Two years into our marriage she stopped and now says, “I need you.” A very strong sign of spiritual possession.)
6. The refrigerator is full of spoiled vegetables of different stages of decay.
7. Jill accepts Jesus Christ of Nazareth as her personal savior while I’m out of town. I never witnessed, nor told about it, until weeks after the fact and not by Jill and her children.
8. Chiropractor informs Jill that it’s not necessary for her to climax while having sex with me. (That’s a no brainer.)
9. When we retire for the night, no more sex, kissing, hugging, touching, foreplay and no cuddling since seeing the chiropractor. (That’s a no brainer.)
10. During the day all I had to do was touch Jill’s flesh and she was ready for sex.
11. Many times a week there was a very nasty smell in the bathroom after Jill left the room. A sign of demon possession.
12. Jill is telling nasty stories concerning me. I hear from male strangers, some I learned were fellow workers of hers. They all came to the house to inform me when Jill was out. Two confessed moving out of town and for me not to be afraid of them.
13. Lynn’s lying and telling nasty stories concerning me and stealing. I hear from many male strangers, who were parents of Lynn’s class mates. They all came to the house to inform me, with Jill out.