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Disclaimer
The advice contained in this material might be suitable for everyone. The
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Contents
Please Read This First........................................................................................2
Terms of Use...........................................................................................................................2
Disclaimer................................................................................................................................2
Contents ..............................................................................................................3
About the Author ................................................................................................5
Introduction.........................................................................................................6
Interviews ............................................................................................................9
Small Talk is Essential ...........................................................................................................9
Prepare for the Questions You Don’t Want to be Asked..................................................11
Making an Impression at Meetings..................................................................12
Volunteer for the Tasks no-one wants ...............................................................................14
Conferences and other Events ........................................................................15
Labels and Reality ............................................................................................17
The Shyness Factor..........................................................................................19
Conversation Tips.............................................................................................21
Phone Talk Tips ................................................................................................23
Speaking to Groups..........................................................................................26
Can Training Help?...........................................................................................27
Can an Introvert and an Extrovert be Happy Partners? ................................29
Can Introversion be “Cured”? .........................................................................30
Helping Your Introverted Child........................................................................32
It’s not Just You................................................................................................34
Social Media is a Must for Introverts! .............................................................36
Putting the Best YOU Forward.........................................................................38
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Words from Hayley Mayer ................................................................................40
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About the Author
Hayley Mayer has used her own experience as an introvert along with
research and input from others to write this guide.
Hayley feels that many of the problems which introverts have are caused by
lack of information or misunderstandings.
Hayley has worked in a number of types of business but now stays home to
raise her children.
Hayley said, “I have direct experience of many of the situations which can
cause stress for introverts and the people they deal with.”
“As a mother, I’m involved in school committees, children’s sports and other
groups. I wrote the book so that I can share what has helped me and other
introverted people in many different areas and situations.”
“Some ideas may need some tweaking and some will fit some readers right
away. I hope that every reader will feel that they have more options and
greater confidence to become successful in whatever way they want to.”
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Introduction
All Welcome! Although this book is written to help introverts, I hope that my readers will
share it with the extroverts who are closest to them. This will lead to more understanding and make it easier for you both to discuss and deal with any challenges which may happen.
People mostly fit well into one of two groups; the introverts and the
extroverts (sometimes called “extraverts”). Some researchers prefer the view
that each of us has both characteristics but one is usually more dominant.
Current research supports the belief that these characteristics are part of our
basic make-up and they cannot be changed significantly. It may actually
cause distress if anyone tries to force someone to change this part of their
psychological make-up. It can also create great pressure on the relationship
between those people.
If you are introverted, you cannot push a button or take a pill to become an
enthusiastic extrovert and vice-versa. Any attempt to change that will fail
and probably cause you more stress than it could ever be worth.
It’s good that we cannot change our basic characteristics, because introverts
and extroverts have different but equally valuable qualities which the World
needs.
It can take some effort at times for introverts and extroverts to work
together but it is worthwhile. When we cooperate with each other, we
increase our individual effectiveness and ensure the continued development
of our society.
Most problems for introverts come when people expect them to operate as if
they were extroverts or when some misguided person attempts to “improve”
them by making them become more like the extroverts in their family, social
or business group.
An introvert and an extrovert process information differently.
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Introverts may take longer to reply to questions because they think and then
answer instead of verbalizing their thoughts like many extroverts do. This is
one of the main reasons that extroverted people often devalue their
introverted colleagues’ and friends’ abilities and potential contribution.
I wrote my book mainly to help any introvert who has problems with any part
of the mainly extroverted societies we have today. But, I think that sharing
the book with your extroverted partner or older children (both extroverted
and introverted). It may help them to understand more about you and any
family members or friends who are introverted.
There are a wide range of tips and strategies which I’ve learned from my own
experience, my research or from friends and colleagues. Not everything will
be a good fit for all readers because we all have different circumstances and
backgrounds. Some will fit like a glove and some might just need some
careful tweaking so you are comfortable using them.
Others won’t be right for you but might help you just as starters for you to
develop your own ideas which better fit your own situation and needs.
I have tried to cover as many areas as I could where people may have
problems, from understanding the differences between shy and introverted to
meeting the demands of social and business environments which sometimes
seem to have been designed by extroverts only for extroverts.
I suggest that you read through the whole book at whatever pace is
comfortable for you and then review the sections which are about areas
where you may currently have concerns.
Then, pick just one suggestion which you feel may help you with something
that has been bothering you.
Think about the effect you want from the new strategy and also consider
what impact it might have on other people.
Then, do it when the appropriate situation arises.
If it doesn’t work the first time, don’t discard it altogether without thinking
through the attempt you just made to see if there was something which you
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might tweak, and then give it another try. You may want to try it with a few
different people to check whether it works with some people better than it
does with others.
I wish you great success and hope that you will find my book helps you
achieve all your goals for yourself and those you care about.
Hayley Mayer
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Interviews
In the current economy, very few people can expect to have the traditional
job for life. Many of the people reading this ebook will have to go through a
job hunt, or more than one, in the future.
That’s why I’ve put this section about making the best impression you can
with your interviews right up front.
Preparation for interviews is important
for anyone but may introverts often