Make Small Talk Sexy Presents
The Shy Guy’s Guide to Talking to Girls:
How to Turn Yourself into a Smooth Talker
By
Bobby Rio
Copyright 2012 Bobby Rio
Published by Bobby Rio on Smashwords
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All rights Reserved.
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Contents
Why is It So Hard to Talk to Women?
Do You Get Stuck in a Friendly Level?
You Can Not Fake Conversation Skills
Being “Cool” Doesn’t Get the Girl
Self Confidence Does NOT Equal Conversation Skills
The Fundamentals of Good Conversation
Stop Worrying About Smooth Transitions
Stop Asking Questions, Start Making Statements
Being “Fun” is More Important That Being “Funny”
First Steps to Improving Your Conversations
20 ideas for making small talk fun, playful, and flirtatious
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Introduction
Hi, my name is Bobby Rio and for five years now I've been teaching guys how to get better with women, how to attract more women into their life, how to grow a social circle, and how to create the lifestyle that they really want to be living.
What I found is that it always comes back to conversation skills. It all depends on your ability to talk.
Some of you may want to jump past this and go right into the ten second attraction techniques or how to have threesomes or following the latest phase and craze of what the various gurus out there are teaching.
But sooner or later you'll realize that it all resolves around conversation.
Conversation is key.
With all the information available on what women find attractive, why do guys continue to struggle?
In this book I'm going to talk about why you might be struggling. I'm going to talk about why you need to figure this out, SOONER rather than later.
I'm going to talk about some of the lessons that I personally learned over the years during my struggle to figure this out.
I’ll reveal some of the big mistakes you might be making, and then I'm going to tell you the first steps that you need to take in order to really improve your conversations with women.
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Why is It So Hard to Talk to Women?
Why do guys struggle?
Well, as I said I've been working with guys for the past five years and there are really three main reasons that guys seem to struggle with conversations.
The first being they can't bring themselves to even break the ice with a girl.
The second is they quickly lose steam after opening a conversation.
The third is they can't move the conversation to a sexual level, which means they basically hit a plateau in their conversations and can't go any further than that. And because of this they wind up giving up or getting stuck in the friend zone.
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The first big problem is actually just getting yourself to talk to a woman. Just getting yourself to walk over and actually start a conversation.
There are two big reasons why most guys don't do this.
A lot of people think that its fear of rejection that prevents you from opening a woman but it's not, at least in most of the cases that I worked with. It's not necessarily that you're scared of the girl rejecting you or throwing a drink in your face or laughing at you.
It seems that what you are scared of is that you’re not going to know what to say. You’re not going to know how to progress the conversation once you initially say hello. Or if you use a good opening line. You might be scared that once that conversation dries up, you’re not going to have anything else to say. Or you might be scared of completely running out of things to say and hitting those awkward silences.
I know for me, my biggest fear was that I would start talking to a girl and right in the middle of the conversation, there would be like those birds chirping and neither one of us would be saying anything. I'd be looking at her waiting for her to talk and she'd be waiting for me to talk and then eventually one of us would say, "Well, I have to use the bathroom" and leave.
To me that was the biggest fear. It was such a fear because it sort of admitted to myself that I had failed. If you don't approach, you can't fail. When you approach and you hit that ‘running out of things to say’ moment, it's almost like you're acknowledging the unsaid that you're not good at this.
It's sometimes easier to avoid it than to acknowledge it.
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The second reason is that guys lose steam after opening. What happens with that is they start talking to them and it's going good and then slowly they start to lose steam. The next thing you know you're in that boring conversation mode. Everything that you had worked for to start the conversation off with the fun opener just falls apart.
There are reasons that this happened, which I'm going to talk about later, and more importantly I’m going to tell you how to avoid that.
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Do You Get Stuck in a Friendly Level?
I think that the biggest problem that a lot of guys face is they can't take the conversation to a sexual level.
The reason I say this is because, if your goal in a conversation is to attract a woman, to find some woman to eventually have sex with; you need to bring the conversation to a sexual level.
Even if you do have a great conversation and you're talking and everything's flowing, if you don't move it to a level where she's going to start looking at you in a horny kind of way rather than a friendly kind of way, when you finally ask her out you’re going to hear the dreaded words “You’re really nice, but I’d rather just be friends.”
I can clearly remember a time that I experienced this first hand and it was awful.
This one time my friend’s girlfriend invited me and my roommates over to her apartment to hang out with her and her two hot roommates.
It started off really good. We all connected and immediately were drinking a lot. There was a ton of Tequila going down. The vibe was great.
My one friend Hank, quickly pairs off with another one of the roommates, this blond named Heather. My friend and his girlfriend eventually go back to their room, and it left me with this girl, [Anne Marie] a thick but extremely sexy Italian chick.
I figured it was a sure thing, but much like the story I told in the Small Talk Tactics Report (www.makesmalltalksexy.com), I went overboard on rapport.
It turned out that Ann Marie and I actually did have a bucket load in common. I mean bands, movies, books, you name it and we had it in common. It was actually getting ridiculous because we sat there, it was one of those, "You like that too, I can't believe it."
We're both just sitting there and I’m thinking it's great, everything is going good… but what happened was the conversation was the Energizer fucking bunny; it just kept going and going and going.
Finally at about five in the morning as the sun was coming up she asked me to take a ride with her to get a pack of cigarettes. Now, the whole time in the car, I'm thinking all right, I'll make my move as soon as we get back to her place, this is a nice little break, I can finally make my move but the minute we get back she says, "I'm going to bed' walks in her room and brings me a cover to sleep on the couch.
See there is a moment when a girl becomes attracted to you as you're talking to her. At some point Anne Marie probably felt that moment with me. If you don't adjust your game close to that point, and you don't escalate the conversation right around that point where you can see the look in her eyes where she is like, this guy could possibly be making me horny, you're going to lose her every time.
It took me a really long time to figure that out.
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