C.P.R.
For Women:
A Woman’s Guide to Resuscitating her Life
Learn how to (C)hoose wisely, (P)repare your mind and (R)eact To Life’s Challenges
Table of Contents
Contents
Favorite Quote
When one door closes
another opens. But often we look so long, so regretfully upon the
closed door that we fail to see the one that has opened for us.
Helen
Keller
(C.P.R) for Women Introduction
This book will help reshape the way you live, work, manage money, and deal with intimate relationships with your family, friends, lovers and most important God. Have you ever found yourself all revved up to start something new, but then losing steam and interest too quickly? You now feel tired, burnt out and emotionally dead inside. You need (C.P.R); a woman’s guide to resuscitating her life. You often feel this emotional emptiness because you have not learned to focus on unfinished business and deal with all the things in your life needing healing, closure, and surrender.
Your current situation is marking a period of deep emotional awareness. You might need to dive deep into your soul at a discomforting level. Look at the choices you have made and take a good look at YOUR role in your life, career, financial and relationship problems. It can be a time of “chickens coming home to roost” anywhere in your life where you have refused to take responsibility. This is now an opportunity, even though it may feel like a curse. Learn how to Choose wisely, Prepare your mind and React to challenges in your life.
Maybe something has happened and this is a tough time in your relationship when you or your partner may need to lean on each other more often than ever before. Couples often get stuck in routines and patterns which foster codependency issues. This can create a “come here, now go away” effect when you want your partner to open up. Then you get all skittish about his or her “neediness” once that happens. Try to keep fireworks in the bedroom because you are liable to pick fights when you are trying to resolve your inner conflict. REMEMBER that this is YOUR issue, and it is not your mate’s job to absorb your frustration.
Sometimes your own confidence may be the culprit of any relationship speed bumps based on feelings of self-worth and shakiness about yourself. Get clear about your values. Do you and your mate want the same things? Where your goals do not align, is it necessarily a deal breaker? Take time to think about what YOU want and separate from anything else in your life.
Understand there is a difference between marriage and dating. In terms of marriage, make sure your mate is faithful to God first then they will always be faithful to you. When you are yoked up to the one you are supposed to be with, you will have fulfillment. God did not say that it would be easy. All that dating stuff was a facade. I believe that when you date you never meet the real person, you meet their secretary. The secretary intercepts or filters and only allows things that are considered positive or beneficial to the cause to be presented. The cause is clearly to win the interest and affection of that person you seek. When you finally meet the real person, you may find that you do not really like their personality and you may want out of the relationship. Unfortunately some of us do not have any staying power. Take time to learn and know the real person. In most relationships, it is not until you and your partner reach the five to eight year mark that you may experience or notice severe drama or craziness. Most people want to abort the mission only to have to start all over again with the same drama in a new relationship. You end up with a new relationship but same drama.
Stop living in a selfish mindset because it should not be about you but about others and something greater. Keep on giving everything in that relationship as long as you are grounded in God’s word. Even when it seems that you are the only one giving, keep on trying because your conversation will win them over. Do not abort the relationship by getting out and acting like it never happened. You will end up starting the cycle all over again. Someone has to have and needs staying power. Remember that what you respect, you will not hurt and will attract respect in return. What you disrespect will move away from you. Eventually because of hurt, nobody is respecting anybody.
In terms of dating do not be unequally yoked in your romantic relationships. Women need to learn to wait, be patient and fall back. Let the man find you. “He that findeth a wife findeth a good thing” Proverbs 18:22. Sometimes you will think that you are ready for something and God will carry you through situations to prove to you that you are not ready. Just wait on Him and though it tarries believe it will come. A relationship that God does not ordain will draw you further from God and a relationship that is ordained will draw you closer to God.
Learn to let go of some things and some people who are not going in the same direction. Learn to lay aside things to be able to grasp what God has planned for you. Sometimes He will challenge you to let go of something so that He can give you something else. Be multidimensional and know that although you are living in this moment your mind should be operating in your future. When you let go of something negative know that you cannot go back. When feeling lonely, remember the source of your hurt, stress and pain. Let your past be your past and walk into your future. Change the way you think tonight and you will start getting different results.
You have to realize where you are contributing to the problems in your life. Take ownership of your issues. If you are able to do this you will experience a complete turnaround in your love life. In this book I have listed some "food for thought". With the help of my closest friends and family, who have all experienced hurt and pain of some kind in their lives, I have listed thirty one ways to resuscitate your mind, body, spirit and intimate relationships. Here is your daily bread for one month. Begin each day by meditating on ways to have a more satisfying love life. Share this with other ladies. You will make someone SMILE, another RETHINK her choices and another woman PREPARE. We have all heard these rules before but no one has ever told us why we should follow them. I am always asking why and through life experiences and talking to various women in my personal circle I got answers.
Thirty-One Days to Resuscitate your Love Life
If a man wants you, nothing can keep him away.
Why? I have found that love is a two-way street. You have to constantly evaluate your relationship. A good yardstick for how one treats (and is treated by) their significant other is to remember that love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It is not rude, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, and it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts, always hopes, and always perseveres.
If he does not want you, nothing can make him stay.
Why? Be the woman a man needs, not the woman that needs a man. If he leaves or gives up on you, remember, it is his loss.
Stop making excuses for a man and his behavior.
Why? I got so accustomed to more bad things happening in a relationship rather than good things until eventually I started to expect the negative things. So often we see more negatives than positives and it is easier to recognize negatives because of what we are typically exposed to. It is sad that we do not recognize a good man because we are so used to the bad ones. So if you need clarity like me, think of love in this way. Love is not impatient or irritable, love is not cruel. It praises positive things about others (their accomplishments, qualities, and good fortune), it does not seek to make others feel small, and it is humble. It is considerate of your feelings, is concerned about your well-being and happiness, becomes angry only as a last resort, and will always think the best of you.
Allow your INTUITION (or spirit) to save you from heartache.
Why? It is better to know and be disappointed than to never know and always wonder. No man is worth your tears, and the one who loves you will not make you cry.
Stop trying to change yourselves for a relationship that is not meant to be.
Why? It is better to be hated for who you are than be loved for someone you are not. Beauty may get the attention but personality gets the heart.
Slower is better.
Why? A guy does not ever have to be more than a friend, sometimes things are better that way.
NEVER live your life for a man before you find what makes you truly happy.
Why? Beauty is about living your life and being happy with yourself inside and out. A man willing to do anything just to place a smile on your face is one worth keeping. Be happy.
If a relationship ends because the man was not treating you as you deserve
then no, you can’t "be friends." A friend would not mistreat a friend.
Why? It is better to be alone and dignified than to have companionship and be taken advantage of by someone.
Do not settle. If you feel like he is stringing you along then he probably is.
Why? A wise girl kisses but does not love, listens but does not believe and leaves before she is left.
Do not stay because you think "it will get better." You will be mad at yourself a year later for staying when things are not better.
Why? If you are not worth the trouble then he is not the worth the time.
The only person you can CONTROL in a relationship is you.
Why? Remember; if he wants to, he will.
Avoid men who have a bunch of children by a bunch of different women. He did not marry them when he got them pregnant so why would he treat you any differently?
Why? Just because someone invites you to drama does not mean you have to RSVP.
Always have your OWN set of friends separate from his.
Why? If you expect him to give you girl time, expect to give him guy time.
Maintain boundaries in how a guy treats you.
Why? Never let a man hit you and ladies should never hit a man either. Violence is not classy. Respect from others comes from self-respect. Yelling during an argument means you have already lost the fight.
If something bothers you, speak up.
Why? You should not need to raise your voice. If you are dealing with a person who will not listen unless you speak forcefully, then they are not worth dealing with. When you need to talk never underestimate the power of warm greeting and a kiss.
Never let a man know everything about you if you know nothing about him.
Why? Maintain your mystery; men love a good hunt.
You cannot change a man's behavior. Change comes from within.
Why? Do not be upset and caught up in something you cannot change. Instead, move on and smile. You deserve to be happy.
Don't EVER make him feel he is more important than you are even if he has more education or a better job. Do not make him into a quasi-god.
Why? Never make a man a priority in your life if you are just an option in his. Always be yourself around him. If he can’t accept you for your quirks, then he is not worth it.
He is a man, nothing more, nothing less.
Why? Do not get your hopes up and do not let your guard down. Remember that if you give him a second chance, you are saying that you have forgiven his past. Do not keep holding it against him.
Never let a man define who you are.
Why? Be amazing on your own. You might feel worthless to one person but you are priceless to another. Do not forget your value. Embrace your flaws and be true to who you really are.
Never borrow someone else's man.
Why? Karma.
If he cheated with you, he will cheat ON you.
Why? I will say this again. If he is willing to cheat with you, he is willing to cheat on you.
A man will only treat you the way you ALLOW him to treat you.
Why? If he does not respect you, then you deserve better. A lady knows her limits no matter what the circumstance, stick to your guns. If you do not stand up for yourself, no one will.
All men are NOT dogs.
Why? Do not stereotype guys; they are definitely not all the same.
You should not be the one doing all the bending compromise is a two-way street.
Why? Remember, all limitations are self-imposed.
You need time to heal between relationships. There is nothing cute about baggage. Deal with your issues before pursuing a new relationship.
Why? A man forgets but never forgives. A lady forgives but never forgets.
You should never look for someone to COMPLETE you. A relationship consists of two WHOLE individuals looking for someone to complement, not supplement.
Why? Do not wait for Prince Charming to come and save you. Remember, being independent is more attractive to men. You will never find the right guy if you are looking for the wrong reasons.
Dating is fun even if he does not turn out to be Mr. Right.
Why? Never lose faith in finding your perfect someone. Being single does not mean you are weak, it means you are strong enough to wait for what you really deserve. Remember just as men should not play with a woman’s heart, women should not play with a man’s heart either. If he does not have a chance, tell him. Do not lead him on and make him think that he has a chance when he does not.
Make him miss you sometimes. When a man always knows where you are and you are always readily available to him, he WILL take you for granted.
Why? Play hard to get. Make him chase you. Be the flame, not the moth and remember the treasure does not do the hunting.
Do not fully commit to a man who does not give you everything that you need.
Why? Do not fall for a guy who is not willing to catch you. Love never fails. If it fails, then it is not love.
Keep him in your radar but get to know others.
Why? Flirt with him enough to show your interest, but tease him enough to make him chase you. Do not just expect to find love; wait and it will come. The moment you stop looking for something, you will find it.
50 Rules of a Sophisticated Lady
Be the woman a man needs, not the woman that needs a man.
Always accept a compliment.
You are beautiful and no one has the right to tell you that you’re not.
Embrace your flaws and be true to who you really are.
Look like a butterfly, sting like a bee.
Cover up. Being a mystery is sexier than showing off every inch of your body.
The little black dress is a classic for a reason.
A real lady holds her head high but never her nose.
Never underestimate the power of a warm greeting.
For the love of decency, never chew with your mouth open.
True beauty comes from within.
Confidence is sexy.
Be refined, polite and well-spoken.
Act like a lady, think like a man. -Steve Harvey.
Be classy and fabulous, always.
Your dresses should be tight enough to show you are a woman, but loose enough to show you are a lady.
Arch your spine and shoulders back. This is a good posture. You are not confident until you decide to be.
One can never be too classy.
Never turn around to look back. Without doubt, he is still looking at you.
Beauty gets the attention but personality gets the heart.
You are beautiful in every single way.
A sincere smile is a lady’s most beautiful feature.
It is better to be hated for who you are than be loved for someone you are not.
Be happy. Someone could be falling for your smile.
A lady should be able to make a man smile with her clothes on.
Talk loud enough so people can hear you but soft enough so he will have to lean in closer.
Being different does not mean you are uncanny. You are just a limited edition.
“In order to be irreplaceable, one must always be different.” -Coco Chanel
“Always dress like you are going to see your worst enemy.” -Kimora Lee Simmons
Leave the rumor-spreading and trash talking to Gossip Girl.
Always arrive at a dinner party 15 minutes late. There is nothing wrong with being fashionably late.
Never show you are intimidated, it shows weakness.
Make a man fall for your intelligence, not for your body and your double D’s.
Always act like you are wearing an invisible crown.
Respect from others comes from self-respect.
“No one can make you feel inferior without your consent.” -Eleanor Roosevelt
A lady should not swear. Class is defined by elegance and dignity, not by vulgar language.
Being intelligent is sexy; do not play stupid.
A lady should never throw a punch; the world is already as cruel as it is, let the universe take care of them.
When asked for a suggestion, do not be afraid to give your opinion. Being assertive is an attractive feature, indecisiveness is not.