THE COMPLETE GUIDE
TO MANAGING PEOPLE
A Manager’s Essential Toolkit For
Inspiring, Challenging And Developing Staff
Clive Johnson
PROACTIVE STYLE
The Complete Guide To
Managing People
A Manager’s Essential Toolkit For Inspiring,
Challenging And Developing Staff
by Clive Johnson
This electronic
edition first published 2011 by Proactive Style.
Smashwords
Edition.
Copyright 2012 Clive Johnson.
All rights reserved. No part of this publication may be reproduced without the prior permission of the publisher. Templates cited in this publication and available via the publication’s companion website, www.proactivestyle.com, may be copied, stored or circulated by the reader solely for personal use or use by others when related to conversations involving or originated by the reader.
While the information provided in this eBook is believed to be accurate and true at the time of publication, neither the author, publisher or distributor can guarantee that any guidance provided will achieve any result desired by the reader nor accept any responsibility or liability for any damages or losses of any kind resulting from any information contained herein. Readers are advised to exercise discretion when determining whether to employ any template or tool and not to do so prescriptively.
ISBN 978-0-9570108-0-2 in Mobi format
ISBN 978-0-9570108-1-9 in ePub format
ISBN 978-0-9570108-2-6 in Adobe Reader PDF format
Clive
Johnson
www.proactivestyle.com
TABLE
OF CONTENTS
PART
I - INTRODUCTION
Introduction
to this guide
How
this book is structured
How
the applications chapters are presented
How
the tools are presented
Some
common terms used throughout the text
How
the toolkit works across multiple devices, on-line and off-line
Where
to start
PART
II - PRIMERS
Helping
an individual move from A to B
Developing
staff
Facilitating
learning
Enhancing
personal performance
Upward
management
Interventions
relevant for need or context - contextual
awareness
Handshakes
Transformational
interventions
Matching
would - be helpers with those who want to be helped
Introducing
coaching and mentoring
Why
coach? Why mentor?
Example
coaching dialogues
Key
skills for coaching and mentoring
Structuring
a coaching conversation
Structuring
a mentoring conversation
Preparing
for a formal coaching or mentoring conversation
Opening
and closing coaching and mentoring conversations
Contracting
for coaching and mentoring
Coaching
and mentoring do’s and don’t’s
Boundaries
for coaching and mentoring
Coaching
ground rules
Ad
hoc coaching
Coaching
teams
Remedial
coaching
Self-coaching
Facilitation
Training
Collaborating
(Partnering)
Counseling
Giving
encouragement and challenges
Giving
feedback
Goal
setting
Offering
input and suggestions
Using
alternative question structures according to need
Questions
appropriate for use in groups
Using
tools and exercises in coaching and mentoring
Building
rapport
Levels
of listening
Handling
sensitive issues that can arise in one-to-one
conversations
Developing
emotional intelligence
The
Inner Game
PART
III - APPLICATIONS
Managing
anger
Developing
assertiveness
Maintaining
a healthy life - work balance
Coping
with change
Developing
higher self esteem
Growing
confidence
Handling
complexity
Ideas
forming and channeling
Having
influence
Making
a case with impact
Making
the most of your potential
Managing
change
Managing
in adversity
Handling
objections
Personal
organization
Preparing
for a new role
Preparing
to lead a team
Preparing
to manage staff
Presenting
in public
Preventive
stress management
Approaches
to problem solving
Productive
conversations
Essentials
of project management
Working
remotely
Self-motivation
Smart
thinking
Effective
time management
PART
IV - TOOLS
Exercise:
360/180 degree feedback
Exercise:
Affirmation
Exercise:
Assertiveness
Exercise:
Balance
Technique:
Brainstorming
Technique:
Breaking set
Exercise:
Change planning
Handout:
Coaching ground rules
Exercise:
Structuring a complex task
Exercise:
Core beliefs ranking
Technique:
Filtering
Technique:
Force field analysis
Technique:
Gantt chart
Exercise/Tool:
Goal breakdown
Technique:
Key line thinking
Handout:
Mentoring ground rules
Technique:
Mind mapping
Technique:
Morphological forced connections
Exercise:
Motivators
Exercise:
Objection handling
Exercise:
Planning conversations
Exercise:
Preparing to be assertive
Exercise:
Productive conversations
Technique:
Responsibility assignment matrix
Exercise:
Reducing complexity
Exercise:
Relationships map
Technique:
Rich picture/Narrative
Technique:
Risk matrix
Exercise:
Role model analysis
Exercise:
Self-esteem
Exercise:
Situation analysis (confidence)
Technique:
Six thinking hats
Exercise:
SMART goal setting
Exercise:
SWOT
Technique:
Thought Pattern Critiquing
Exercise:
Time audit
Exercise:
Visioning Q&A
Exercise:
Volcano
Technique:
Weighted scorecard
Technique:
What how? Charting
Exercise:
What I enjoy list
Technique:
‘What if?’ analysis/scenario modeling
Technique:
Work breakdown structure
PART
V - TIPS
Anchoring
Assertive
conversation
Breaking
comfort zones
Effective
communication
Emotional
intelligence
Goal
setting
Presenting
in public
Project
management essentials
Remote
working
PART
VI - GENERAL TEMPLATES
Individual
development schedule
Learning
journal
Conversation
notes
ABOUT
THE AUTHOR
ACKNOWLEDGEMENTS
This part introduces the book, explains how it is structured and how to use the various reference materials, guidance notes and templates provided.
Welcome to The Complete Guide To Managing People. The Guide is both a reference source on anything and (more or less) everything concerned with managing or influencing people and a comprehensive toolset, comprising an extensive compendium of templates, techniques, handouts and exercises to use with individuals facing many differing needs and in a wide variety of situations.
The topics covered span a broad spectrum of what might be called ‘the helping skills’, or ways of working with others that aim to help them reflect, learn and develop. Management styles such as coaching, mentoring, counselling and partnering are amongst the approaches described, with an emphasis being put on grasping the basics of such skills and being guided to become familiar with them, before moving on to consider how these may be applied.
That said, this book isn't primarily about describing and helping managers or others gain expertise in particular skill areas. As a reference tool, it offers hundreds of insights, techniques, models and inspiring ideas, whilst as a quick look-up ‘toolkit’, suggested points to consider, exercises and problem-solving tools are amongst the mix of materials gathered together to allow users to rapidly become aware of, consider and apply powerful techniques to meet particular needs. Applications as diverse as coping with adversity to remote working are covered in the subject-by -subject ‘applications’ guide.
The book is primarily intended for individuals who have management responsibility for others - developing, motivating, challenging and supporting members of a team, but the techniques and suggestions covered are equally relevant for anyone, whether they are concerned with their own development and self motivation or with influencing and having productive conversations with peers (such as fellow managers), senior colleagues, partners and customers.
Most of the topics and approaches covered are also valid for using in team or group situations as well as in one-to-one conversations, and most can be applied in brief, impromptu conversations as well as in what are usually less frequent, preplanned ‘formal’ discussions.
In the case of coaching, for example, we refer to the idea of a manager acting as a ‘coach’ in dedicated conversations with an individual (such as a personal development planning meeting), but also talk about a ‘coaching’ style that might just feature in one or two brief sentences shared at the water cooler.
Some of the topics too may be more relevant for more senior team members (e.g. individuals who may have or soon expect to have significant management responsibilities of their own), whilst others are likely to be more relevant to less experienced staff, newly inducted recruits and those preparing for a new role or promotion. Addressing remedial performance matters and encouraging staff with high potential are both also given attention.
Material that has been selected for inclusion includes a wealth of well known, less commonly known and some brand-new techniques, models, ideas and tools, drawing on the thinking of many leading practitioners in management education. Perhaps more importantly, the book builds upon the experiences of line managers, training specialists and HR experts from more than 50 organizations - the original print edition of this text was piloted by organizations of varying sizes within the public, private and not-for-profit sectors.
The book is structured into six main parts:
Part One (‘Introduction’) explains how to use and navigate the following parts.
Part Two (‘Primers’) provides an introduction to the ‘helping skills’, as well as more advanced descriptions of each, indicating when it may be most appropriate to use one style rather than another. Important areas for a manager's own development and topics for their reflective practice are also covered, along with examples of how the helping skills might be applied.
Part Three (‘Applications’) forms part of the core ‘look-up’ section of the book, covering a wide range of needs and situations in which a manager may need to work with members in their team or with others. A glance at the first few topics listed alphabetically in this section should give a flavour of the sort of themes that are covered - helping individuals manage anger, working with assertiveness and non-assertiveness, striking the right balance between work and home life, and coping with change.
Part Four (‘Tools’) incorporates a compendium of possible exercises, techniques and guidance notes that might be used when helping individuals address particular needs or objectives - most of which can be passed on with only minimal explanation for them to work through alone in their own time. Exercises relevant for all of the topics listed in the ‘applications’ part are provided, supported by hard-copy files that can be viewed or printed on-line (links are provided with the text).
Part Five (‘Tips’) describes and provides links to on-line handouts, offering brief training notes/tips and ideas for individuals to think about and work with. Topics covered include such things as tips for presenting in public and an introduction to the principles of project management.
Part Six (‘General Templates’) provides a set of templates to help managers plan conversations and record what’s learnt from them.
The chapters in each part are laid out in a standard way, to help users quickly familiarize with the contents and know where to find information. In the case of the ‘Primers’, this comprises simple ‘strap-line’ (a one or two sentence overview) key message(s) and brief, bullet-point notes.
HOW THE APPLICATIONS CHAPTERS ARE PRESENTED
Clearly, there’s a limit to the amount of preparation that most managers can allow in a typical day, often having to jump from meeting to meeting with very little - if any - breathing space between.
The applications chapters are designed to maximize the use of what may be just a minute or two’s preparation time, providing a strong ‘standing start’ even for someone who may know next to nothing about a topic. In turn, time spent in discussion with an individual (whether in a preplanned sit-down context or in a passing remark at the water cooler) should be maximized, ultimately benefiting both parties.
The applications chapters have the following common layout:
Theme - a one-sentence overview of what the chapter is about;
Typical conversation objectives - identifying typical areas that a manager or individual they’re working with might want to explore about the topic area;
Related topics - links to other chapters that often closely dovetail the subject matter (e.g. confidence building, having influence, and improving self-esteem are shown as related topics for the application chapter concerning assertiveness);
Possible lines of conversation - a bullet-point overview of possible aims to explore/question lines that might form a basic structure for a conversation (although these are merely suggestions and deviation from them is encouraged when relevant). Diagrammatic ‘memory maps’ of the suggested lines of conversation are also provided for on-line printing, for those who prefer having visual aids to refer to;
Tools - links to suggested exercises, techniques and tips that may be relevant to bring into conversation or use as handouts;
Sample questions - examples of the types of questions that might encourage individuals to carefully reflect, gain insight and learn (deviation from the list as appropriate is strongly encouraged, and should become more of a second nature as experience is gained in applying the different helping skill approaches);
Key notes - bullet-point facts, insights and other pointers that aim to give a broad introduction to the subject matter.
The intention for presenting information in this way is to allow a busy manager to collect their thoughts about how best to approach a conversation they are facing within just a few moments, as well as summarizing which relevant techniques, ideas and aids might be useful for the individual and the situation concerned.
Many conversations may be tied to particular learning point objectives or areas for focus. Which points may be relevant for any individual is of course a matter for personal choice and may be related to earlier training undertaken by an individual, a wider business initiative or objectives agreed at a development review meeting.
We don’t attempt to second-guess what these may be nor provide a comprehensive set of learning points with every topic. Nevertheless, we do suggest the more common themes - generally, a ‘top 5’ bullet list. These should help focus your thinking and provide a basis for discussion if you’ve nothing else to draw on - but of course, you may wish to supplement or replace our suggested ‘key points’ with your own. The key points lists are deliberately brief, intended to be capable of being skim read in very little time.
Suggested questions are provided for each topic, listing a range of powerful questions that you might use to engage conversation. These are laid out in a simple way, following the various stages we suggest in a typical coaching conversation you might want to follow as you begin coaching.
The questions offered are merely suggestions, and may lead to a number of possible different tracks for further questioning or a need for more detailed probing on a point. The questions aren’t meant to be followed rigidly: ultimately your effectiveness in providing help will depend partly on your ability to ask the right question for the moment. A degree of judgement is therefore needed on where to take a conversation, rather than just following through every question prescriptively.
Remember also to use your own preferred words in phrasing questions - the guidance we provide is meant to suggest the form or structure of questions to use rather than words to be repeated to the letter.
The suggested question lines are laid out under several subheadings: goals (to clarify objectives for the conversation), reality (to explore what is known about the subject matter), options (to help an individual think about alternative ways of making use of what's known) and way forward (agreeing actions to take forward). This follows the key elements of a well-known coaching model (‘GROW’ after Sir John Whitmore), but isn't restricted to use for coaching.
Simple memory or mind maps are also provided for each application topic, suggesting possible question lines. You may prefer to refer to these rather than the question prompts, especially if you find visual aids help trigger your thinking more effectively than narrative or if you’ve reached the point where you feel comfortable to form coaching questions yourself, but find having a quick reference of suggested themes you might explore useful.
To minimize the file size of the book, the memory maps are provided in narrative worksheet in the book and in diagrammatic form for viewing/printing on-line (via hyperlinks in the text).
Memory Map Symbols
The following icons and colour-coding are used in the memory map diagrams for easy recognition:
View/Download image: MEMORY MAP SYMBOLS
Note that images that can be viewed, downloaded or printed on-line obviously require an internet connection. Downloadable images are of a higher quality resolution to those included in the text and are in full color (color representation isn’t supported by some ereader devices).
As for the applications entries, the tools chapters are presented using a common layout:
~ For exercises,
a brief strap-line of the purpose of the exercise and its suggested
use (e.g. before, during and/or after a conversation) is provided,
along with briefing notes for the exercise and an outline of its
format. Links for exercise templates and to view/print a completed
example on-line are also provided.
~ For techniques, one-line
description of the purpose, a more comprehensive overview,
description format (again with links to on-line templates and options
to print/view completed examples) and finally a description of the
steps to apply a technique are described.
To illustrate how the ‘applications’ and ‘tools’ parts are intended to work, the following provides a brief example, considering how an individual who is struggling to come up with ideas might get into a mindset for generating fresh thoughts.
A manager who is
preparing to meet the individual to help them work out how to engage
their creative side might start by reviewing the ‘ideas forming and
channelling’ application chapter, an extract of which is shown
below.
APPLICATION: IDEAS FORMING AND CHANNELLING
Topic: How to come up with great ideas and get them across in a compelling way.
Typical Conversation Objectives:
How
to form and effectively channel ideas
Introduction to ideas
forming techniques
Identify actions relevant to a specific current
need.
Related Topics [links to other Applications sections that often closely relate to the subject-matter]:
Problem
Solving
Smart Thinking
Exercises/Techniques [links to possible aids to offer to offer the individual to work through]:
Brainstorming
Note: topics, exercises and other items referred to here aren’t activated as hyperlinks in this example section.
POSSIBLE LINES OF CONVERSATION (MEMORY MAP)
What contexts work
best for ideas forming?
~ What worked? Learnings? Environment? How
to relax?
What techniques might
help?
~ Use and relevance? Preferences? Which will they try?
How best to channel
idea?
~ Audience interests? Opportunities to communicate?
View/Download
Possible Lines Of Conversation Map: IDEAS CONVERSATION MAP
Tools [links to possible tools to support the conversation]:
Morphological
Forced Connections
Key Line Thinking
SAMPLE QUESTIONS
Goal
What
is the idea you want to put across? Why is this important for you?
Reality
What
environments usually inspire you, make you feel at your creative
best?
In what circumstances do you feel most relaxed?
When
you’ve had ideas picked up before, what seemed to be relevant to
your success? [others…]
Options
What
can you do to come up with ideas?
What can you do to let your
‘right brain’ click into gear? To relax?
Which techniques
might you try to help your ideas forming?
[others…]
Way Forward
What
do you plan to do to move forward with this idea?
Points to look out for:
Establish whether there is a specific idea the individual wants to put forward, or whether the topic applies more generally as a perceived weakness.
KEY NOTES
Creativity often involves proposing ideas that are contrary to normal thinking, sometimes ‘wild and whacky’. To be creative calls for more than just following a technique and is more than just a mental discipline. Key aspects are: being in the right environment, setting the right context and having the right mindset.
Being in the right environment. Often the best ideas come when and where they might be least expected. For many people, the conducive environment of the coffee lounge or catching the buzz of a busy reception area provides a good backdrop for ideas generating. Detaching from the standard work environment allows the normally analytical ‘left’ brain to relax, and the creative ‘right’ brain to switch into gear. Individuals therefore need to know which environments they prefer for fostering their creativity (e.g. quiet or loud; indoors or outdoors).
Setting the right
context. Being informed and making time to relax can both aid
creativity. Being informed means that, up to a point, the topic being
considered has been thought about and researched, with the individual
has exposing themselves to different views, theories, and any other
information they can gather about the subject area. The subconscious
will then have a lot of material from which to start forming
ideas…[Key Notes for this topic continue beyond this extract, with
pointers concerning such things as having the right mindset and
channelling ideas].’
The manager might then
move on to familiarize with the tools, techniques and exercises
mentioned, to see whether these might be relevant to support the
conversation they are preparing for (or at least to be aware of and
able to refer to these if appropriate). For example, a sample of some
of the content found when linking to Morphological Forced
Connections, one of the tools mentioned, is as follows:
TECHNIQUE: MORPHOLOGICAL FORCED CONNECTIONS
Purpose: Identify possible new or innovative combinations of attributes of a tangible thing like a product or characteristics/aspects of a problem or idea.
OVERVIEW
This technique was developed to be a ‘foolproof invention-finding scheme’ by Don Koberg and Jim Bagnall, and is fully described in their book ‘The Universal Traveler’.
The aim of the approach is to think through a range of attributes that apply to the thing (or topic) in question and then to force links between them.
APPROACH
Identify a range of attributes or characteristics applicable to the topic or thing currently in use - for example, if thinking about a type of pen, you might list attributes like size, shape, ink-distribution method, casing material, finger grip texture etc. Draw a table with as many columns as the number of attributes you’ve identified, and list the attributes as the column headings (in the first row of the table)…’
Example
View/Download image: MORPHOLOGICAL FORCED CONNECTIONS
An extract for the
Brainstorming exercise referred to illustrates the type of activity
that an individual might be encouraged to work through by
themselves:
TECHNIQUE: BRAINSTORMING
Purpose: Identify as many possible ideas relating to a topic as possible, without prejudice for their worth or viability.
Note: Some individuals and organizations don’t encourage use of the term ‘brainstorming’, since it may be interpreted as eluding to epilepsy and some mental health conditions. Use sensitively or consider using an alternative, e.g. ‘board-blasting’.
OVERVIEW
Brainstorming starts with the premise that everyone has good, creative ideas to offer, but often they remain suppressed as the ideas are thought foolish or unworkable even before they see the light of day. Brainstorming sets a firm rule - DON’T JUDGE ANY IDEA AS IT COMES - and indeed encourages the zany, offbeat and ‘impossible’ ideas to be thrown into the ring. No idea put forward should be criticized or struck-off during the ‘storming’ process.
Brainstorming is usually practiced in a group, but the approach can be equally effective when working alone or with a Coach. The magic of the process is that, once the ‘anything goes’ principle is at work, the brain has a remarkable ability for coming up with ever new ideas, bouncing off possibly half-developed ones already scribbled down and now staring you in the face.
The list you produce can later be used by other techniques in analysis, filtering and categorizing ideas. This is the time when you’ll be critical of your ideas and work on producing an edited version.
APPROACH
(1) Shut yourself away in your ‘quiet place’ and decide how much time you’ll allow yourself for the brainstorm - 10 to 20 minutes should normally be adequate. Have a pen and paper ready to write down each idea as it comes (or a white-board if you have access to one or a large sheet of paper tacked to the wall). Relax, clear your mind and take several deep breaths;
(2) Know what specific topic you want to brainstorm. Are you looking to find a solution to a problem, come up with new ideas for a new activity or something else? Write this theme at the top of the paper…[notes continue beyond this extract]’
Note that the material shown above is just a sample of that included for in the sections mentioned. Please refer to the following chapters for more detail: Ideas Forming and Channelling (Application), Morphological Forced Connections and Brainstorming (Tools).
SOME COMMON TERMS USED THROUGHOUT THE TEXT
Since this book is intended to be used not only by managers but also by a wide range of people, and the techniques and exercises that are suggested for use with staff might equally used for helping yourself, some of the terms used throughout the text need to be understood in the context in which they are used. The following are amongst more common that we’ll encounter:
‘Individual’ - typically refers to the person who is being helped (developed, challenged, supported, etc) or the ‘target’ for the exercises, questions and other interventions that are suggested. Of course this may sometimes be yourself (as a manager or otherwise) or may apply to a group of individuals rather than just one person.
‘Coachee’/‘Mentee’ - alternative terms for an individual who is the focus of a coaching or mentoring conversation.
‘Tools’ - umbrella term to describe the various templates, models, exercises and handout worksheets that collectively make up the book’s ‘toolset’ or ‘toolkit’. The term ‘tool’ isn't perfect, given that it can conjure up the idea that specific tools can only be used for very specific purposes (rather like a hammer only being used to hit or lever out a nail). This isn't the intention for the ‘tools’ offered in this kit, however no better alternative description has been obvious to us.
‘Memory maps’ - sometimes known as a ‘mind map’, a simple diagrammatic presentation of ideas, following a tree diagram/branch pattern breakdown in which more detailed points are shown to fly out of a main ‘trunk’ (or subject area).
‘Formal one-to-one’ - used to describe a dedicated, preplanned conversation that typically takes place in private and has a particular amount of time set aside for it. An individual's personal development planning meeting and dedicated mentoring meetings, perhaps scheduled to take place on a routine basis, are examples.
‘Model’ - a structured, step-by-step approach for undertaking a particular task, summarized set of guiding principles or easy-to-recall mnemonic, usually underpinned by a well-practiced theory of how people think or act.
‘Reflective practice’ - not a term that we refer to too frequently, but one that may not be familiar to some readers. This refers to the task of taking time to reflect on what has been learned from a particular experience. Some managers prefer to devote a little time for their own reflective practice following each one-to-one conversation, for example, whilst others find that less regular but nonetheless committed times to be more effective for gathering their thoughts.
HOW THE TOOLKIT WORKS ACROSS MULTIPLE DEVICES, ON-LINE AND OFF-LINE
This edition of The Complete Guide To Managing People is designed to be used on a variety of ereaders, including the ability to synchronize reading across different devices such as laptops, desktop computers, tablet devices and smart phones.
To minimize the file-size of the book and be compatible with different technology platforms, diagrams embedded in the e-book itself have been kept to a minimum. High resolution, full-colour images and the many templates referred to are available to view when your reading device is able to connect with the Internet, being easily accessed via hyperlinks provided in relevant chapters.
PDF file versions of blank tools, tips handouts, exercises and associated examples are available when connecting on-line for printing/e-mailing to yourself and the individual or group of people whom they are intended to help. High resolution, colour memory maps are also easily viewed and can be emailed for later saving to a computer disk or printing as desired.
Information viewed on-line is designed to optimize easy navigation and use on any e-reader device (for example, not requiring the device to be able to display PDF files and involving single-line entry of any email addresses that you might want to send the image, template or other displayed information to).
However, the eBook text can be understood and used without any need to refer to this additional on-line content - in other words, being read off-line on just one reading device.
Links also allow you to quickly move around the eBook itself. These include links to the main divisions within each chapter (sample questions, memory maps, key points etc), provided at the start of each ‘application’ and ‘tools’ section, and link backs to the main table of contents are also provided in each chapter.
View/Download image: HOW THE TOOLKIT WORKS
The kit isn’t meant to be read like a book from cover-to-cover, but rather should serve as a reference source to access as and when needed.
We suggest that you might first wish to read this Introduction, familiarize with the general layout of the ‘applications’ and ‘tools’ sections and consider how you might use the ‘general templates’ presented in part six.
The ‘primers’ may be read sequentially from end-to-end or alternatively used as a reference source (although we suggest reading at least the introductory chapters introducing the ‘helping skills’ as a suitable starting point for appreciating the materials provided in the ‘applications’ and ‘tools’ sections).
Whilst you may wish to continue reading through the remaining parts, the ‘applications’, ‘tools’ and ‘tips’ sections are primarily intended to be used for reference ‘on demand’, as a situation or need requires. This, if you like, is the very practical, ‘look up’ section of the book - in other words, the toolkit part.
With regular use, you should find that you actually use the kit less and less, as the skills you put into everyday practice become ‘second nature’ to you. Good luck and enjoy the satisfaction of seeing people grow!
Primers provide introductions to each of the main ‘helping skills’ - coaching, mentoring, counselling, collaborating and training, and are used to help develop, challenge and support staff.
The purpose and relevance of each of the helping skills is introduced, and the basis for developing coaching, mentoring (etc) skill is then described. More advanced topics for reflective practice and self-development are also introduced, and a method for recognizing situations in which one or other of the ‘helping skills’ may be most appropriate is described.
The chapters in this part are grouped as follows:
(1) Chapters introducing what the helping skills are;
(2) Chapters looking at each of the helping skills in more detail, introducing models, examples and variations;
(3) Chapters considering when it may be most appropriate to use each of the helping skills and when to handshake from one to another;
(4) Chapters considering some common applications for helping others, such as to support learning, personal development, etc.;
(5) Chapters exploring common interventions relevant for each of the different approaches for helping individuals, e.g. giving feedback, offering suggestions and using exercises to support conversations;
(6) Chapters considering how managers and others can develop their own ‘helping skills’ repertoire.
PRIMERS: INTRODUCING THE HELPING SKILLS
HELPING AN INDIVIDUAL MOVE FROM A TO B
Topic: Using a repertoire of skills to help people progress.
See
also:
Interventions
relevant to need or situation.
INTRODUCTION
Helping an individual grow isn’t the sole preserve of any one discipline or management style. A mix of interventions are nearly always needed, varying depending on how an individual learns, where they are starting from in their learning and personal development, and which style is most appropriate in a particular situation.
The ‘helping skills’
include the following:
View/Download
image: HELPING SKILLS
There’s a close overlap between many of these styles, and switching back and forth between different interventions can occur quickly within a single conversation. These may broadly be categorizes according to the degree to which an individual knows the answer and the degree to which it is appropriate ask questions or give answers.
The primary concern for a manager is then - what will most help the individual move forward, getting them from ‘A to B’? Which is the style that is most likely to be effective given the current need? When is it appropriate to involve a specialist?
Contextual awareness is critical for choosing which styles are most important.
Individuals may have a view on what their preferred type of help is, which it is helpful to know and accommodate. However, be wary of always giving into this, e.g. if it would mean they avoid thinking for themselves.
Given the close boundaries between the styles, frequent ‘hand shaking’ will often be required. However, it’s not necessary to become over concerned about defining the different styles or worry whether you’re (for example) mentoring or counselling at any one time. The styles that are least practiced likely to be the most uncomfortable for any manager, since we tend to adopt our preferred style and not always challenge ourselves whether this is necessarily the most appropriate. Power loss may also be a worry for some in adopting ‘softer’ helping styles, however the helping skills usually build respect and have many advantages.
Some styles also involve more practiced skill than others, since they aren’t usually instinctive or previously taught. Even what we think we might do well and see as a basic skill - e.g. listening - may not necessarily be so. Coaching is one specific example, recognized as being especially powerful for empowering individuals to think and motivated to act for themselves.
It’s not essential to get the style right every time, the important thing is to try and broaden your own portfolio, become more situationally aware and ready to use less familiar skills more frequently.
The more common skills we refer to in this guide are:
For
Group or Individual Use:
~ Coaching;
~ Collaborating or
Partnering;
~ Facilitating;
~ Training.
For
Individual Use:
~ Counselling;
~ Mentoring.
Reference:
D Taylor, ‘Business Coaching Made Simple’, Capstone, 2007.
PRIMERS: THE HELPING SKILLS DESCRIBED
INTRODUCING COACHING AND MENTORING
Topic: The ‘need to know’ basics to the why, what and how of coaching and mentoring.
See
Also:
Coaching
and Mentoring Do’s and Don’ts
Structuring
a Coaching Conversation
Structuring
a Mentoring Conversation
WHAT IS COACHING?
Coaching is a vital skill for any manager’s repertoire and possibly the most powerful approach for helping individuals to grow, change mindsets and take on new challenges.
Coaching aims to help a coachee think clearly about how they can help themselves and then feel inspired to take action. Through coaching, individuals should feel motivated to want to achieve high standards, learn from their mistakes and improve. Higher levels of achievement should follow as a result.
Coaching is relevant for achieving many objectives, including:
~ Driving better
practice and better competency;
~ Changing an individual’s
mindset-for example, to instill a ‘can do’ attitude, or an
ability to recognize and respond to opportunities;
~ Encouraging
individuals to develop a strong self-awareness and making
self-questioning a natural habit, leading in turn to increasing
self-insight and a desire to improve.
Coaching relies on asking appropriate questions, carefully listening to responses, and helping the individual pull the different insights they gain together. A good coach focuses on the individual’s objectives as though they were his or her own, and always has the best interests of the coachee at heart (of course provided they’re in synch with the organization’s needs). He or she seeks to encourage, challenge, probe and even provoke the coachee to recognize and do their best.
In a pure coaching relationship, it is the coachee who sets the objectives and agenda for coaching. At work however, the needs must to be related to not only the coachee’s need but those of the organization too. The context for coaching therefore needs to be clear, but not to restrict the coachee freedom to sound out as they want (e.g. relating to their personal life).
WHAT IS MENTORING?
Mentoring aims to help an individual be clear about what they need to do to move forward in their career. It seeks to answer a ‘How do I become…?’ or ‘How do I achieve…?’ question posed by the individual, usually taking a long-term perspective.
The mentor brings wisdom, knowledge and an understanding of the political and organizational structures the individual works within. He or she may offer suggestions and act as a source of information or reference point for contacts, but the mentor’s greatest contribution is to help the individual develop their own understanding of their potential the and to identify the pitfalls and the opportunities they may face. The mentor may help an individual fill in gaps of what the individual doesn’t know - give other perspectives such as reflecting on how others may see things, what works and what doesn’t.
A mentor/mentee relationship is often one of a respected senior to a less experienced ‘professional friend’, although seniority is not a necessary qualification for mentoring: a mentor’s primary need is to have a level of knowledge in the subject matter of focus that is greater than the individual’s. This may include knowledge of a role, of the organization or technical topics.
The mentor’s own character, attributes, achievements and experience can be influential, inspire and carry respect.
Both coaching and mentoring involve good listening skills, working to the individual’s goals, are non-judgemental and free of assumption. Both rely on trust, confidence and openness and should offer an opportunity for the individual to speak, clarify thoughts and put things in perspective.
Unlike coaching, mentoring usually puts less emphasis on performance or skill development, focusing more on reaching longer-term professional goals. Mentors typically don’t offer feedback as readily as a coach, whilst a coach tends to be more proactive in setting the agenda rather than taking a lead from the individual.
However, mentoring and coaching are mutually compatible and as management styles are often used together. Both are non-directional and both require strong skills of listening, questioning and building rapport.
CONTEXTS FOR COACHING AND MENTORING
To achieve lasting results, coaching or mentoring must be performed for a purpose. Both can help an individual develop skills, prepare for a change or tackle a problem. As such, both can play an integral part in implementing an initiative such as organizational change or supporting an individual’s continued training or induction.
As a coach or mentor, you may not need to know the full content of any associated initiative, but it’s important to ensure that the help you give is aligned with the business objectives and key messages any wider initiative may provide. This is all the more the case if you find yourself taking training ‘downstream from the classroom’.
At the very least, it’s important to remember that coaching or mentoring are for a purpose - whether this is something the individual wants to address, or something of importance to the team or organization. In every case, be clear about the business context and remember to help the coachee stay focused in finding their solution!
GETTING STARTED
Coaching or mentoring must start by considering not just an individual’s but the organization’s needs as well - the requirements of a role, facilitating people through a change, motivating individuals to increase staff retention etc. It’s important both for you and the individual to be aware of this context before embarking on coaching which may have great benefit for an individual’s benefit but serve no purpose in the workplace.
In first starting to coach or mentor in a formal or semi-formal context (involving one-to-one meetings rather than ad-hoc conversations), you may wish to start a discussion by discussing such objectives and helping the individual to work out how their own goals align with these.
In preparing for an initial session, you might want to think about the individual’s readiness to be coached and any ground-rules you might need to agree with them for what is likely to be an unusual new relationship for both of you (such as giving assurances about confidentiality and agreeing the ‘boundaries’ for what might be discussed). Explaining what coaching/mentoring is about will further help their ‘enrolment’.
Every individual will have different needs, emotions, pre-assumptions, ideas and beliefs about what they can achieve and what they want to achieve. By understanding the starting point of each individual, you will be better placed to plan what coaching (or mentoring) may be needed.
Reference:
L Whitworth, H Kimsey-House and P Sandahl, ‘Co-Active Coaching - New Skills for Coaching People Toward Success in Work and Life’, Davis Black Publishing, 1998.
Topic: Good reasons to coach and mentor.
KEY NOTES
Why Coach?
Coaching can Clearly Benefit The Coachee - Were This Not The Case, There Would Be Little Point spending time coaching after all!
Coaching also usually obviously benefits the organization too. Better equipped, more motivated employees and a collaborative culture are typical outcomes, amongst others.
However, noble and dutiful as it may be to want to help others, there are also several good selfish reasons for coaching. Contrary to what many believe, investing a little time in coaching may quite soon begin to win back time for you.
COACHING IS GOOD FOR YOU!
Good, solid selfish reasons for coaching include:
~ Being able to
delegate more to better skilled, more self aware and motivated
people, who you better understand and trust to complete tasks;
~
Taking personal satisfaction from seeing individuals develop, and
perhaps enjoying a few accolades from others for shaping a well
motivated and effective team;
~ Achieving better team and customer
relationships, sales performance or other business critical
function;
~ Reducing time spent correcting mistakes made by
coachees, explaining late or poor delivery and the like.
One other myth that we should quickly dispel is that coaching takes much time. Often, the best coaching can be packed into small doses and becomes a natural style you can quickly adopt in any conversation with staff. ‘Byte-size’ conversations may take only 10 - 15 minutes on average whilst an incidental coaching conversation may comprise just a few choice sentences, yet leave the individual you coach feeling highly motivated and full of fresh insight.
When to Coach?
Coaching is a style or intervention you can use as much as a process in its own right.
Coaching can be used in virtually any exchange with an individual - even just as a single question. Getting individuals to think for themselves can build their understanding and commitment in a way few other management styles can.
The most common applications explored by this toolkit are:
~ Analyzing
experiences - letting individuals reflect on what they’ve learned
in applying new skills or practices;
~ Preparing an individual for
a new role, challenge or change;
~ Supporting or leading a
personal development review or appraisal;
~ Helping an individual
recognize opportunities to achieve their self potential;
~ Helping
under-performing staff understand what they need to do to make the
grade;
~ Resolving a conflict between team members.
In most cases, attention is focused on development, personal performance, effectiveness and contribution.
Coaching is most effective on a one-to-one basis, and is usually carried out between just two individuals. Nevertheless, coaching skills can apply in a small group (though facilitation may be a preferred style for larger groups).
Why Mentor?
Good, solid selfish reasons for mentoring include:
~ Most people
find it very rewarding to see others grow and achieve their
potential;
~ Being able to share in the congratulations when
others achieve is very edifying;
~ Mentoring often involves 2-way
learning - consolidating understanding, opening up new perspectives
and points of reflection for the mentor as well as mentee (similar to
the idea that one of the best ways to master a topic is to train
it!);
~ Mentors can benefit from the feedback mentees offer
them;
~ Mentors can enhance their own careers and esteem amongst
colleagues by giving time to mentor;
~ Mentoring contributes to
not only the individual but the company’s interests also - mentors
play an important part in representing and serving the interests of
the wider team;
~ Mentoring is a form of ‘giving back’ -
something which most of us need to fulfill our higher needs and as a
return for similar help we may have received in our own career;
~
It is satisfying to be able to share knowledge, experience and
networks - and to be able to use these to full advantage;
~
Mentoring gives an excellent opportunity for practicing the ‘helping
skills’ - listening, questioning and challenging;
~ The good
rapport between mentor and mentee creates a unique ‘special
relationship’ with a colleague outside of normal line
responsibilities;
~ Taking a little time out to mentor provides a
committed ‘oasis’ from other activities in the day.
When to Mentor?
A mentoring relationship may be either formal or informal. In a formal context, it usually takes the form of an on-going engagement between mentor and mentee, based on a stable relationship and characterized by regular or just occasional ‘check in’ meetings. An informal relationship may be played out in the same way, but informal use of mentoring also includes an option to drop into a mentoring style as and when required, for example, in a brief, ad-hoc conversation. Used informally, aspects of the mentor role can be combined with coaching.
Topic: Example coaching dialogues.
CONTENTS:
The following simple dialogues demonstrate how a coachee can be helped to develop a fresh perspective of a situation, increasing their motivation to approach future situations with a new attitude and approach.
Example 1: Not being heard.
Coach:
How do you feel when you’re not being listened to?
Coachee:
Affronted. Angry.
Coach: What else do you notice? [seeks
underlying reason]
Coachee: A wringing in my hands and
mounting tension in my chest.
Coach: And what is going
through your mind? [continues to seek reason]
Coachee: That
my view isn’t considered important. That I’m being
ignored.
Coach: And what else? [focuses on other
aspects]
Coachee: That I don’t have the presence to stand
up for myself.
Coach: What else is going on in the room at
this time? [starts to challenge]
Coachee: The conversation
has moved on to a new area.
Coach: And are others aware of
how you’re feeling?
Coachee: I don’t know.
Coach:
What indications are there that they’re not that aware of how you
feel? [focuses on reaction of others]
Coachee: They’re
deep in conversation, not giving me much eye contact.
Coach:
So who is losing out in the conversation?
Coachee:
Me.
Coach: What could you do to make yourself feel
better?
Coachee: To be heard again in the meeting.
Coach:
How could you do that?
Coachee: By trying to put my view
across again.
Coach: What can you do to increase your
chances of being heard this time?
Example 2: Handling a difficult customer.
Coach:
So we know that you feel upset by the customer’s rudeness. How
do you think they may be feeling?
Coachee: They might be
feeling frustrated.
Coach: What might cause them to feel
that way?
Coachee: I don’t really know, all I can hear
was them being rude.
Coach: What if they’ve a real reason
to feel frustrated?
Coachee: They’d want to let off steam
at someone, to get heard.
Coach: And what might happen if
they don’t get their point across?
Coachee: They’d
become more angry, and I’d feel more under stress.
Coach:
What could be a better way of handling things for both you and
them?
Coachee: To try to understand why they’re
unhappy.
Coach: And how would that help you?
Coachee:
I’d get shouted at less and feel more able to help.
Note the way the coach
searches for an explanation whenever an emotion is expressed, for
example:
Coachee: He makes me very angry.
Coach: What
is it that makes you feel angry?
‘Black and white’
statements are gently challenged, for example:
Coachee: They
don’t listen to me so my view doesn’t count.
Coach:
When was your view taken into account in the past?
Further questions that
can help explore alternative perspectives include:
Coach: What
can you do?
Coach: List 5 things you could do.
Coach:
Which of these most appeals to you?
Coach: What has held
you back achieving more than you’d liked?
Coach: Who can
help you with this?
Coach: What have you done toward
reaching your goals since we last spoke?
Coach: How far do
you want to go with this? How far do you think you need to go?
Coach:
When is ‘the long term’?
Coach: What immediate steps
can you take to move toward this?
Coach: What is it you
want to achieve?
Coach: How do you think this fits into the
needs of the job?
Coach: What first step can you take?
Pushing thinking example:
Coach:
What could you have done differently?
Coach: What else
do you think might be a factor in conversations not always going as
you’d like them to?
Commitment example:
Coach:
What else can you do to keep focused?
[may open up to
mentoring suggestions]
Coach: When you next have a chance to
put these to the test, what will you do?
Exploring example:
Coach:
Which skill areas do you want to work on now?
Coach:
What are your thoughts on how to approach this?
Coach: So
what do you feel the approach should be?
KEY SKILLS FOR COACHING AND MENTORING
Topic: Essential skills for coaching and mentoring.
KEY MESSAGES
~ Recognize your
limitations.
~ Seek to relate to the situation an individual is
in.
~ Recognize the benefits a mentoring relationship offers you.
KEY NOTES
Mentees/coachees should feel able to trust that their mentor/coach will offer honest help aimed at serving their best interests, and able to confide their fears, concerns and personal needs. They should naturally have respect for a mentor, perhaps even seeing them as a ‘role model’ of sorts. Good rapport and empathy between both parties are essential. For this reason, a degree of distance should ideally exist between each - although both mentoring and coaching styles can be used in a direct line management relationship.
In turn, mentors and coaches should recognize their own limitations and see the relationship as an opportunity for growing their own learning as much as to share their own knowledge. They need to combine patience with excellent communication skills and be able to relate to the situation the mentee/coachee is in. Fundamentally, they must genuinely want to help their mentee/coachee partner achieve his or her goals, seeking to support and encourage them when appropriate.
A ‘one size fits all’ approach doesn’t sit well with mentoring/coaching. A mentor/coach should be able to relate to different perspectives and experiences, be careful to avoid rushing to recommendations or offering ‘should do’ advice until the situation and the mentee/coachee’s real objectives and needs are clear.
The coachee/mentee’s contract
Mentees too need to recognize that to benefit from the dialogue, they have responsibilities to the relationship:
~ Setting the
agenda for mentoring/coaching, being clear about the questions they
want to find answers for;
~ Being ready to face uncomfortable
topics;
~ Taking time to prepare for meetings and to act on what
they agree to do;
~ Being ready to accept feedback.
Key Skills For Coaching
~ Active
listening;
~ Appropriate questioning to help the mentee achieve
their own understanding;
~ Empathy and ability to build rapport;
~
Openness and receptiveness;
~ Strong verbal communication skill -
able to articulate a view clearly and in a way that has impact;
~
Self aware of limitations and mindful of the effectiveness of
questions they pose when in a dialogue.
Key Skills For Mentoring
As for coaching, plus:
~ Thoughtfully
consider the contexts the individual operates in;
~ Strong
business awareness;
~ Having insight into the personalities,
political and organizational structures of the organization or
industry.
STRUCTURING A COACHING CONVERSATION
Topic: A simple approach for structuring productive coaching conversations.
KEY MESSAGES
~ Define the
topic for a coaching conversation before attempting to identify
specific goals.
~ A possible approach for structuring a coaching
conversation is GROW (goal, reality, options, way forward).
~ Use
appropriate question structures to support each step.
KEY NOTES
Coaching models
Structuring a coaching conversation can be helped by adopting a proven approach or ‘model’. A well-reasoned approach that develops a conversation in a logical way is clearly preferable to making a conversation up ‘on the fly’. This is as relevant in a 30-minute one-to-one conversation as in a quick chat at the coffee machine. Many different models for Coaching and Mentoring have been developed, although most feature similar elements.
Whilst not providing a substitute for the intuitive skill of coaching, nor invariably needing to be followed sequential every time, access to a model can often be very valuable.
Coaching can be reflective, helping the coachee to work through a situation, reflect on the key issues confronting them and working out a course of change. It can call on structured exercises such as psychometric tests to reveal self-insights, styles and values, from which development activities can be identified. And it can involve close observation by the coach of the coachee’s attempts to put new learnings into practice. Our suggested approach embraces each of these different perspectives.
The coaching model we suggest is the most commonly used in coaching circles, and is aligned with a familiar model of how people learn developed by David Kolb. Kolb’s model recognizes that people are most likely to develop when they actively take responsibility for their own learning and can apply what they learn to their own circumstances.
We’ve chosen this approach since most objectives in staff coaching ultimately aim to bring about a change of perspective or behaviour in the coachee, or emphasize fresh learning and new experiences. This is true whether the individual is preparing for a new role, trying to address a performance issue, is set on developing a skill or seeks to make the most of their potential. The model is also simple to remember and is relevant for any coaching scenario.
A logical prerequisite for using the model is to identify the topic for focus. For this ‘one-off’, initial introductory conversation, the following approach is recommended:
~ Topic -
identifying the general or specific theme to be tackled and helps the
coachee to understand its relevance to his or her role and/or
objectives.
~ Breakdown - optionally, if the theme is a
broad one, pinpoints a number of topics that might be considered
separately; identifies the end goals for working through the topic
and the target timeframes for achieving these. Make these goals
‘SMART’ (specific, measurable, achievable, realistic and time-
framed).
~ Actualize - lets the coachee identify actual
experiences they can relate to which put the topic in context, for
example a situation in which they attempted to put a skill into
practice (this sets the scene for the first main stage of the normal
coaching model we’ll introduce shortly, Reality).
Notice the mnemonic ‘TBA’ for recalling these simple steps. Identifying a number of topics for focus, rather than just one, may be a subject for a periodic development review meeting or form part of a general objective setting session.
GROW
With the topics and ‘running’ goals clear, we can now shift attention to the structure of any subsequent coaching conversation. This again starts with goal setting:
~ Goal
setting - work with the coachee to set a clear and specific goal for
the conversation. The coachee may need help to relate the goal to
the running goals or topics you previously identified, e.g. you may
need to ask a question like: ‘How does this relate to…?’
Once a goal has been identified, there are then 3 main stages to follow:
~ Reality
- encouraging the coachee to think about real experiences, define
what happened and what they learned, and consider the way things are
now;
~ Options - letting the coachee draw conclusions or
forming a theory about why things happened as they did, identifying
and weighing up the relative merits of a range of possible changes,
fresh approaches or perspectives that might be taken in future;
considering alternatives to current ways of thinking;
~ Way
forward - agreeing what to put into practice, and identifying
opportunities for trying out planned behaviours, who to involve and
tangible actions which can be put to the test. The ‘W’ might also
serve to remind you to check how willing the coachee is to do what
they say, e.g. you might ask: ‘How committed are you to seeing
this through…?’
Along with goal setting, these 3 steps can easily be remembered using the mnemonic ‘GROW’, a model pioneered by the former motor-racing driver and now coaching champion, Sir John Whitmore. These steps apply in any coaching conversation, not just following the initial conversation setting the scene for the topic.
We use this simple approach to lay out suggested question lines you might use in each topic covered by the kit - you should soon become familiar with the approach and question styles relevant for each heading!
The GROW process may be cyclical. In other words, further reflecting and more advanced conceptualizing can follow once the coachee has gained more experience. Normal ‘homework’ for the coachee ahead of subsequent sessions may include taking time to carry out their own reflection to feed into both the Reality and Option stages.
The model can be used to support a single conversation (or even a brief incidental conversation), whilst the cyclical approach may span several sessions until both coach and coachee feel that the goals set when the topic was first introduced.
As an extension to the model, once actions have been identified for putting into practice, and where this is practicable, the coach can optionally choose to observe the coachee in action, enabling him or her to give feedback during the next round of reflecting.
Generic question structures
The topic chapters included in the toolkit each provide suggested question structures for each stage of the ‘GROW’ model. However, with a little practice, you should be able to recognize appropriate question types for handling any topic, and this is of course our aim. The following outline should help get you started.
We strongly recommend that you don’t rely on the sample questions as a script or view these as being prescriptive in any way. Our intention is to help you get started, highlighting possible lines of questioning that you may want to consider, depending on the nature of the conversation and the particular objectives that it seeks to address.
Goal
What
should we be discussing today…?
Last time, following our chat
about… you said you would… What do you want to achieve today?
Along with the coachee, you may feel it appropriate to tackle more than one goal in a single conversation, though beware that this can detract focus.
Note: These questions provide a lead to the coachee to focus their goal setting, not a free rein to choose any topic they like (though in some circumstances, this might be permissible).
Reality
How
do you rate your ability to…?
What have you tried so far to help
you…?
What do you think has held you back?
What have you
learned since we last spoke about …?
What actually happened to
help you gain this insight?
What else came out of your
experience?
What were the results of putting into practice what
you said you would try last time?
Options
What
conclusions do you draw from your experience?
What leads you to
this view?
What do you think are the ‘rules of the game’?
How
might this be apply in other circumstances?
How else might others
look at things? What evidence might exist to support these? Where
does this leave your theory (e.g. needing to refine or revise
it)?
What are the possible explanations for this?
What could
you do to change [this] / help yourself?
What else might
help?
What alternatives are open to you?
What are the
advantages of this approach?
What about the disadvantages?
Which
option do you think is best overall?
Way Forward
What
types of opportunity will you look out for to put this into
practice?
What will you do when such opportunities arise?
What
concrete actions can you identify to put what we’ve discussed into
practice?
How are you feeling about trying this?
What would
make you feel more comfortable to give this a try?
So what do you
commit to do? By when? Who do you want to involve to help you?