Make It Mine!
By Alexa Keating
Smashwords Edition
Copyright 2011 Alexa Keating
This eBook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This eBook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you’re reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
‘Make It Mine’ is not just a book about home decorating; but it does provide a wonderful, lighthearted approach to decorating your home!
It creates an awareness of how our state of mind affects the world we live in, confirming the old adage that while “You may never reach the summit and for that you will be forgiven. But if you don't make at least one serious attempt to get above the snow line you will always regret it!”
‘Make It Mine’ delves into the psyche so subtly that one barely notices they have been given a ‘checkup from the neck up’ about why we live the way we do in our own homes!
The book is filled with funny stories, sad stories and a million tips, tricks and ideas to help you navigate from a house to a home!
It is full of ideas and solutions for everyone from the college student to retirees. The ideas are bold, not old stuff.
For motivating, inspiring ideas that teach you how to prevent becoming a victim as you locate and improve your home in today’s economy; this is a must read! This book is funny and happy, and is a worthwhile, down to earth endeavor that will bear wonderful fruit.
It is filled with profound thoughts, inspiration and practical ideas for successful living.
Make It Mine!
Chapter 1 A Huntin’ We Will Go!
Chapter 2 Signed, Sealed, Delivered; I’m Yours!
Chapter 3 Movin and a Groovin’
Chapter 6 Where’s Grumble Alley?
Chapter 9 And All Across the Kingdom!
Chapter 10 Beginning To See the Light
Chapter 11 Every Step You Take
Chapter 12 I’m Looking Through You
Chapter 14 Splish, Splash; Time for the Bath
Chapter 15 Who’s That Knocking at My Door?
Chapter 16 Trading Spaces – Working Places
Chapter 17 Barely Get Along Street
Chapter 18 Give Them Something to Talk About
Chapter 20 Knock, Knock Let Me In
Chapter 21 Kids Are People Too
Chapter 23 Don’t Want To Miss A Thing
Chapter 24 Crowded Spaces - Lonely Places
Chapter 25 It’s All About the Bling!
Chapter 26 Tools for our Trade
Chapter 27 Know When To Fold ‘Em
Chapter 28 If it Takes a Village…
Chapter 29 Go Where the Music Takes You!
Chapter 30 Companions Along the Way
This book was inspired by and written for all the people who have a house or apartment and wish it could be their dream home. There’s a difference.
You have inspired me and many others to reach higher, and grow farther in the search to help create new ideas and better methods; once unheard of.
To every ‘Make it Mine’ warrior who jumps in, and dares to dream and to act, I applaud your efforts. I’m proud of you! You will be too!
For the many people who taught me lessons, and who encouraged and nudged me to write this book; I know what part you have played in this coming to fruition. I appreciate your efforts and your encouragement. You all know who you are!
Chapter 1
A’ Huntin’ We Will Go!
The ‘perfect’ place; whether you’re a first time home hunter, apartment seeker or a veteran buyer, some things never change!
It’s a process that begins with a clear idea of what is perfect, meets a new companion named reality and changes constantly until you’ve finally arrived at the “This is it!” decision.
Before you execute any paperwork, review Chapter 2, ‘Signed, Sealed, Delivered, I’m Yours’.
It is so much easier to avoid potholes than to dig out and repair the damage from them!
Having spent thirty plus years in the real estate, new construction, remodeling and residential and commercial decorating industries, I have enjoyed the opportunity to participate in almost every process of the ‘perfect’ home search with literally thousands of people, from every walk of life.
Things I learned with and from them are worth a check and review:
Quick Check Steps
a) Take an honest look at your income and budget; if you are able to stay within the 25% range for your mortgage or rent payment you will find the other areas of your life far more manageable and enjoyable.
b) If you plan to rent or lease a property get familiar with the general terms that are acceptable in your area including typical deposits required, credit and income requirements and terms of leases available. Every area is different.
c) If you plan to purchase a property, a pre-approval of financing is helpful in determining what amount and terms a lender will approve you for.
This helps you set the limit for purchase price in addition to being a big boost in getting your offer accepted once you have made your final selection.
d) Relax, take a deep breath and keep your sense of humor. Build good memories to share from your search!
e) Location, location, location; never detour from this cardinal rule; regardless of whether you are renting or purchasing. Spend some time deciding where you feel comfortable; and which area in your comfort range is affordable and offers the things you believe are not negotiable. (This is tricky - we’ll take a longer look at that later.)
f) Safety; if you are a single female your safety concerns are different than two or three guys sharing an apartment. Keep your safety concerns at the top of your list. Children require a whole different set of safety issues, ditto for pets. This should always be on your non-negotiable list.
g) Hunt with your head - not your heart; in the next few chapters you will see many ways to change spaces and make them perfect for you and your lifestyle!
h) Obstacles, obstacles, obstacles; when this begins to be the ‘norm’ in your dream, let go. If this is the right home for you it will happen fairly smoothly. I have to share this true story as the example that I learned early in my real estate career, and never forgot.
It Seemed Impossible
After three years as a Realtor, I opened my own office; listings are a must for any realtor, even more critical when the business is new and your inventory is zero.
While I had enjoyed incredible success in sales, one particular home had been listed with my previous broker for a year and a half with worse than dismal results; we couldn’t give it away.
There simply was no reason the home did not sell. Every agent in the office had open houses at the home and it was shown repeatedly by other companies.
The home was a seven room brick ranch with fireplace, family room, two car garage, three bedrooms, and two baths.
All this on a three quarter acre fenced lot with an assumable loan (no credit check required back then) and a payment of $356.00 including taxes and insurance! It required only $6000.00 down to purchase on those terms.
Remarkably, it was priced $10,000 under market, was in perfect condition and in a highly desirable area and very close to schools. How could this home not sell? In utter frustration, the owners stopped trying and took it off the market.
I stopped there first to get a listing for my new company. The owners were disheartened and told me they had only listed the home originally because they had fallen in love with an older two story home in the historic district; one which had long since been sold.
I needed listings and sales! I asked them for a 24 hour listing conditioned on my being able to secure the home they originally wanted to purchase; a long shot but I literally had nothing to lose!
They said yes, obviously believing it was not possible to accomplish this mission.
I went to the historic home and asked if they were interested in selling their home. I explained the situation with the buyer who had wanted to purchase their home and lost it to them when they were not able to sell their home.
The owner had two very large dogs and advised me that they had taken the historic home because they also had lost the one they had wanted to purchase!
The home they wanted had two and a half acres and was perfect for their children and dogs but was taken off the market suddenly.
They would only sell this home if they were able to buy the one they originally wanted. They signed a conditional listing agreement and a purchase agreement for the home they lost. This was fast becoming a quest!
Off I went to the home with the acreage. The woman who answered the door was really surprised to hear my story.
She explained that she and her husband had lived in the house for many years and went together to find a new construction home with less yard maintenance due to their increasing age.
They found one they loved and put their house on the market, only to learn almost immediately that her husband had a terminal illness.
They took it off the market and dedicated their time to his declining health. By the time I arrived at the home, her husband had died.
She desperately wanted to leave the memory of his dying there; and to let go of the acreage that required so much time for a single, aging woman.
And, you guessed it; she wanted the new home they had chosen together.
This same process was repeated. She signed a conditional listing agreement and we went together to look at the new subdivision.
We were able to find the exact home on a different lot which she found acceptable.
Things may seem to be looking great at this point; all the listings were sold and everyone was headed to the home they had always wanted.
Except, all of this was conditioned on selling the first home that had been on the market for a year and half!
Selling the first home, with a really sad track record, was now the basis of all these people’s dreams coming true.
I went home that evening, knowing I had 24 hours to sell a home that had the worst possible chance of a 24 hour sale. It was a pretty tough order.
But then, I was not in charge.
Later that evening I received a call from a former school mate. She was looking for their first home, and they required a few things that she felt would make it difficult.
Her wish list; three bedrooms, a family room, a two car garage for her husband who was a mechanic, a large yard for her three sons and, although she believed it was impossible; a fireplace and a fenced yard were on her wish list.
There’s more; they had credit issues and needed a loan assumption, could only afford $375.00 a month with taxes and insurance included and only had $5600.00 to put down.
Their desired school district was the very one the house I needed to sell was located in.
Maybe you can see where this is going. We met at the house; both of their parents came along. No one believed this was possible.
They saw this home that no one would buy as the answer to their prayers. The parents helped complete the down payment and in one single day all of these people realized a dream!
What changed? Timing; that’s all.
The moral of this story is that when things get really hard, it is either not the right home or not the right time.
Universal law unfailingly delivers on the promise that ‘You cannot lose what is yours; you cannot keep what is not.’ You may find this to be true in every area of your life! I have.
If it’s too tough, examine why that might be.
Step back and be willing to let go if necessary. It will return in a workable way with terms that will suit your needs if it is yours.
Just know that the right home is there for you, and when you find it, things get easy!
What Counts?
Unless you are blessed with an unlimited budget and funds are not an issue, learn to take a good look at the bones of the homes or apartments in your search.
If the layout works with your lifestyle, and the room sizes fit you or your family’s requirements, anything is possible.
We’ll talk about how to make that work in apartments and rental homes too!
Another Lesson
I had the opportunity to work with my brother, who was a building contractor, for many years. It was during the boom in south Florida in 2004 that I learned why people clamored to buy his homes.
He had always been enormously successful, and his homes were in great demand. I was charged with the sales and marketing strategy for his homes; so his method that was so loved by the public was particularly interesting to me.
My brother insisted on meeting with every buyer personally. This was a little unusual, as most builders simply review the purchase agreement and accept or reject the terms. On occasion they meet the buyer at the time of purchase. I was surprised to learn what was most important to him in those meetings.
While the typical builder may review his plans with buyers and answer questions, my brother took a different approach; carefully questioning each buyer about their lifestyle.
He asked each buyer to tell him about their life, to walk through a typical day in their family’s life and how they lived.
From that information he helped guide them to the design that best suited their family’s lifestyle. This process began with asking them to start a typical morning at home, it continued through the day , even to mentally pulling into the driveway and getting out of the car after work, to bedtime; including laundry, TV time to bedtime.
With this information he was able to determine traffic flow, the value of a ‘mud room’ off the garage, the number of baths the home needed to accommodate the family and the layout of the space that would allow the family to gain the greatest quality time in the home.
He learned all of this from mentally walking through a typical day in their lives and how their time was spent.
Nothing was impossible to him, not moving a wall or enlarging or decreasing a room size or the entire home.
The important issue was that THEY could live comfortably there; he knew this would result in them loving their home, and that it would work for everyone involved.
Give this process some thought in your search.
It worked beautifully for him and for every buyer. Before you commit, take the time to visually live in the home before making a decision.
The “bones” are the most important aspect in how comfortable you or your family will be once you have chosen the location.
If you have a small budget and changes don’t seem likely, keep reading!
Chapter 17 ‘Barely Get Along Street’ explores a variety of possibilities that may seem unattainable; this opens many opportunities for you have what you need to create a perfect space. Really!
Fear not! It’s all about the bones; everything else can be changed.
h) Finally; take a good look at your current furnishings. If you purchased them or selected your home furnished, the ‘look and feel’ appeals to you and speaks volumes about what you like and feel comfortable with.
We’re going to spend a lot more time on furnishings, but you will probably discover that what you have chosen in the past is what you are going to be drawn to in the future.
It is a reflection of your personal taste; our challenge is to make it work with your dream.
Pay attention to the check list and your search will be easier to narrow and define. Include someone who supports your dream and the hunt will be fruitful.
Home should be a ‘feel good’ place that you can’t wait to get back to and enjoy.
Many things play into creating this, but it all starts with locating THE PLACE!
Chapter 3
Signed, Sealed,
Delivered…
I’m Yours!
It’s that time now, the search is over; you’ve found the one! Great!
Let’s visit a new friend named reality!
It is sad but true that new issues need to be examined as sometimes hidden obstacles crop up in home hunting. The following tips may be more important than the search results in the hunt.
Please take the time to review the list and complete your own due diligence before proceeding. I promise life will be much sweeter if you do.
Buyers Beware!
a) Even if you are using a realtor, before signing your purchase agreement, run, don’t walk to your computer, click onto your favorite search engine and find your local County Property Appraisers office. There you will find all the details on the home you are looking at.
This begins with a property data search and will include current and previous owner’s names, addresses, previous purchase prices, all permits that have been issued on the property (great for learning what has been a problem and what has been replaced) and all of the property tax history.
This search also provides the appraisal details at the time the home was built, including square footage and almost everything that matters from then to the present. Bear in mind that property values on the site are based on tax values which are less than the market value.
b) Once you have that information, take a look online at your local county Clerk of Courts office. There you can enter the owners names and complete a public records search. Why? You will learn whether the home is in a foreclosure action and anything that has been filed against the property.
This is important when writing your offer. You need all of the facts to protect yourself. Real Estate 101 says ‘Caveat Emptor’ or let the buyer beware. So, be aware!
c) If you don’t own a computer or know how to use one, find a friend who does. It’s worth the search.
d) When there is no possible way to do your own online search; call. The records are public; and a simple call to the County Property Appraiser’s office and to the Clerk of Courts will provide the answer to all of the pertinent questions.
Renters
Roadblocks
a) Thought you
were out of the danger zone because you are a tenant? Think again!
The rules are slightly different for signing a lease agreement in a
community (apartment or condo) versus an agreement on a single family
home or duplex.
b) The checklist for an apartment community begins with your search.
While you are at the property look carefully at the grounds. Are they well maintained? Is the grass cut, parking lot in a good state of repair, gates functioning properly? Do things seem shipshape? Then continue your search there.
Typically when you are visiting an apartment community you will be shown their ‘model.’ This is a great way to see how furnishings will fit, and a lousy way to see how they maintain the units.
The models are never exposed to day to day living and therefore are always maintained in ‘new’ condition. Insist on seeing the actual unit you will be leasing before executing a lease.
Apartment dwellers normally enjoy an added protection; because of the number of people who may be affected if the owners of the community are in default, the courts appoint a trustee who will ensure that the tenants are protected, repairs are made and vital things like water and sewer are paid. That’s a plus.
You can follow the same advice provided under Buyers Beware to see if the community is in default before making a final selection.
The Gate Caper
If you think this isn’t important, I have to share my own experience to show you why it may be:
As my spunky little mom began her eighties we searched for a safe and secure apartment community that would permit her to keep her beloved little dog.
I made a temporary detour to stay with her soon after. On the surface, this community appeared to be a perfect place that offered the security of gates, peaceful wooded areas and the infamous Florida lakes throughout the community.
One evening as I approached the gate in my little BMW Z4 (the gates were frequently torn off by people who apparently did not have the access card or grew weary of waiting for them to work) I passed through the gates, felt a lurch and then watched in horror as the front bumper of my car was nearly ripped off.
The gate was torn off; the automatic arm (black and not visible at night) was still attached and swinging back and forth at will.
It swung out and latched itself onto the low front bumper that is characteristic on the Z4 car and presto, my bumper became attached to the arm and firmly under control of the whim of the swinging arm!
I dragged the partially attached bumper with me to the nearest parking area; a sister took me to the auto parts store to buy anchors to hold the bumper to the under girdle of the car so it could be moved to our assigned space.
The next morning I indignantly approached the office with my complaint.
They unceremoniously marched me to the front of the gate where a ‘Not Responsible’ notice was posted. This sign was invisible at night; and, it applied equally to tenants.
It really did not matter to them whether or not this was legal; this little paradise was well on the way to insolvency, unbeknown to us.
Had we paid attention to the air conditioning that frequently froze up and stopped working, (a critical situation in the summer in south Florida) and the plumbing that seemed to always require a ‘patch,’ we would not have been so surprised at the outcome.
On my final exit from the community I limped through yet another broken gate; my little ‘James Bond’ car rapidly beginning to resemble your typical junk mobile.
Maintenance matters!
c) A condo community is maintained by the condo association. In some ways it is less protected than the apartment communities.
When an association is not able to collect on the association fees due to pending or actual foreclosure actions; their ability to maintain grounds and roads is severely hampered. Their problems become your problems.
Follow the same advice provided in the apartment community and then one more:
d) Condos are individually owned, just like a single family home. The association is responsible for the maintenance of the exterior of the properties, grounds and roads; however, each unit is sold and purchased in the same exact manner as a typical house.
Make sure to visit the Buyers Beware section of Chapter 1, every part of it!
Condos place you in the same foreclosure risk position as houses; a surprise like that can result in your ‘dream home’ becoming an unexpected 48 hour notice to move; delivered by the sheriff. That is a painful and avoidable experience. If you find evidence of any foreclosure action, move on, not in!
If you have just discovered that your landlord is in foreclosure, head right back to your computer and your favorite search engine.
Type in your county, state and the words tenants + foreclosure on the search bar; carefully read the laws and see how they apply to your situation.
The less information you provide, both in the search engine box and especially at the County Property Appraiser’s site, the more information you will find.
Stay with the bare minimum information like the number of the home and the street only (no Street, Avenue or Court at the end of the address) and then select the proper link that applies to your home and your situation.
The Sunshine State
Florida was in the throes of the mass foreclosure actions. The number of people who were victimized by this was unusually high.
The state legislature passed laws that offered an umbrella of protection to the tenants, forcing the person or bank who acquired the home at the public sale to offer several months to the tenant to continue renting while they arranged a move; or a settlement amount to assist in their move.
Your state may not have these laws but whatever they are, they apply to you.
If you’ve just received the notice, look for the same information and proceed accordingly.
If you cannot locate the information you need, check with your County Prosecutor’s office.
They know the law and how it applies to your situation and will usually, very briefly, tell you what you need to know.
If it’s a true 48 hour notice, find boxes, friends who will help, and look for a storage facility that offers specials like Public Storage where the first month is only one dollar.
Large movers are scheduled much further out than 48 hours, so plan on a DIY (do it yourself) move with friends, rental trucks or a smaller local mover who may be available.
If you find yourself in this situation, don’t waste too much time ranting about how much you will sue the owner for.
If he or she is in a foreclosure action, they already have someone bigger than you in line to collect; the bank!
For now, shake it off and make haste; there’s a lot to do and a little time to do it in.
You’ve just joined the ranks of a brand new kind of ‘public education.’ If a change is coming, let’s look at how to make it happen as painlessly as possible.
Special Needs Solutions
Yankee Ingenuity is a wonderful part of our American Heritage! I strongly encourage every nation to adopt this ‘can do’ policy beginning in their elementary school classes.
What’s it all about? As my sons loved to remind me, ‘No does not mean no!’ There is almost always a way to convert a no to a yes when you’re on the home hunt.
I don’t qualify – If you visited your bank and received a pre-approval letter to purchase a home, you can skip this one.
a) Apartments – There’s a new game in town that is probably a result of the mass of foreclosures and the damage it has caused to many people’s credit ratings.
Most apartment communities now offer the option of high risk insurance that is purchased after they determine that your credit does not meet their minimum requirements.
It is surprisingly affordable. If they do not tell you about this option, ask. It works like the credit card companies that collect an annual fee to cover the risk.
b) Many apartment communities accept an additional month of security deposit to cover the increased risk. This is a great solution if you are not cash strapped and utterly worthless if you are.
c) They may offer a co-signor opportunity. Proceed with great caution if you choose this method. Friends become enemies if things do not work out well. I suggest you move on to a privately owned property with no realtor involvement when you arrive at this option.
Renting directly from the owner – Have a care here. These people are taking a risk and using their good judgment to trust you with their property. They have become a disappearing breed.
Honor them; they are fast becoming extinct, with many choosing to hand the risk over to a realtor, thereby increasing the cost of the rent.
a) Rent rates and terms can be negotiated with a private owner much easier that a management company.
b) If you are handy or willing to care for the lawn or pool, or to make improvements to the property, the rates can easily be reduced by the costs they are incurring to provide these for you.
c) Credit is not normally a big issue if you can verify your income to meet the rental rate; and provide credible references.
d) If you genuinely feel like this is the home you want to own, ask about a lease purchase option.
This allows you to re-build credit on an agreement to purchase, credits a portion of the rent each month to your down payment, and does not require a pre-approval on credit or income.
The owner benefits by handing over maintenance of the property to you, the purchaser.
e) Investor financing – In most states, investors have been on a buying spree; grabbing up the ridiculously cheap foreclosure homes and adding them to their increasing portfolio.
The down payment is normally higher for this purchase, however, the investor acts as the lender, collects an amortized payment and you own the home with very little qualifying requirements.
Having examined all of your options you should now be ready to make a good decision, sign the papers and call this one home.
The fun begins now.
Chapter 4
Movin and a Groovin!
We’ll keep this short and sweet. Moving is a necessity after making your selection. No one likes it; but it has to be done.
There are some handy ideas that you may not know, so this could be worth a review.
a) If your move is long distance you have fewer choices.
Some people simply elect to sell everything and start over in the new location. If you love your furnishings, there are better ways.
A long distance mover is very expensive. If money is not an issue you may find this the best one for you. It helps if you are in a position where your company has transferred you, and is willing to pay for the move. Lucky you!
A word of caution; I learned the hard way that these movers have very limited coverage for damages. Even if the damages come to thousands of dollars, they may cover only $500.00. The rest is your problem.
b) Most people do not have this option so let’s move on to ‘other options.’ After several moves, I learned that Penske is one of the few companies that currently offer one way moving very affordably.
They do not charge for mileage and offer every size of truck. I like them a lot! If one truck cannot handle your move and you have a willing family member or friend to drive the second truck, you’re in luck! Do it!
c) A local move is simpler. I learned that if I could take all the closet items, kitchen items and bathroom boxes in my car and put them away before the move; things got really easy!
The truck comes, the big items are loaded, off loaded and put into place in your new home; and you are moved in. That is slick!
d) Smaller moving companies are in every city. Their prices are very competitive and you can supervise the move.
Look for them in the phone book, the newspaper and on Craig’s List. If you are careful, you will discover that Craig’s List is full of good people, on an honest mission. I have had many really good experiences with movers from Craig’s List.
e) Last, and certainly more common is the ‘gather your friends’ method. You simply invite them over to help pack and move, buy a dinner when it’s over and pray they still call you a friend! Usually, they do, and you will be called on to return the favor.
Happy hauling! Once again, relax, smile and remember; this too will pass!
Whether you have just unloaded the truck or merely decided to claim your space and make it distinctly yours, welcome to the best part of being home!
Moving Checklist
Sort and purge Go through every room of your house and decide what you’d like to keep and what you can get rid of. Think about whether any items will require special packing or extra insurance coverage.
Research Start investigating the moving companies you are considering, their options and benefits. Do not rely on a quote over the phone; request an on-site estimate. Get an estimate in writing from each company, and make sure it has a USDOT (U.S. Department of Transportation) number on it.
Create a moving binder. Use this binder to keep track of everything—all your estimates, your receipts, and an inventory of all the items you’re moving.
Organize school records. Go to your children’s school and arrange for their records to be transferred to their new school district.
Six Weeks Before
Order supplies; including boxes, tape, bubble wrap, and permanent markers. Don’t forget to order specialty containers, such as dish barrel boxes or wardrobe boxes.
Use it or lose it Start using up things that you don’t want to move, like frozen or perishable foods and cleaning supplies.
Take measurements Check room dimensions at your new home, if possible, and make sure larger pieces of furniture will fit through the door.
One Month Before
Choose your mover and confirm the arrangements. Select a company and get written confirmation of your moving date, costs, and other details.
Begin packing Start packing the things that you use most infrequently, such as the waffle iron and croquet set. While packing, note items of special value that might require additional insurance from your moving company. Make sure to declare, in writing, any items valued over $100 per pound, such as a computer.
Label Clearly label and number each box with its contents and the room it’s destined for. This will help you to keep an inventory of your belongings. Pack and label “essentials,” boxes of items you’ll need right away.
Separate valuables Add items such as jewelry and important files to a safe box that you’ll personally transport to your new home. Make sure to put the mover’s estimate in this box. You’ll need it for reference on moving day.
Complete a change of address Go to your local post office and fill out a change-of-address form, or do it online at usps.gov. But in case there are stragglers, it’s always wise to ask a close neighbor to look out for mail after you’ve moved. Check in with him or her two weeks after the move, and again two weeks after that.
Notify important parties Alert the following of your move: banks, brokerage firms, your employer’s human resources department, magazine and newspapers you subscribe to, and credit card, insurance, and utility companies.
Forward medical records Arrange for medical records to be sent to any new health-care providers or obtain copies of them yourself. Ask for referrals.
Two Weeks Before
Arrange to be off from work on moving day. Notify your office that you plan to supervise the move and therefore need the day off.
Tune up Take your car to a garage, and ask the mechanic to consider what services might be needed if you’re moving to a new climate.
Clean out your safe-deposit box If you’ll be changing banks, remove the contents of your safe-deposit box and put them in the safe box that you’ll take with you on moving day.
Contact the moving company Reconfirm the arrangements.
One Week Before
Refill prescriptions Stock up on prescriptions you’ll need during the next couple of weeks.
Pack your suitcases Aim to finish your general packing a few days before your moving date. Then pack suitcases for everyone in the family with enough clothes to wear for a few days.
A Few Days Before
Defrost the freezer If your refrigerator is moving with you, make sure to empty, clean, and defrost it at least 24 hours before moving day.
Double-check the details Reconfirm the moving company’s arrival time and other specifics and make sure you have prepared exact, written directions to your new home for the staff. Include contact information, such as your cell phone number.
Plan for the payment If you haven’t already arranged to pay your mover with a credit card, get a money order, cashier’s check, or cash for payment and tip. If the staff has done a good job, 10 to 15 percent of the total fee is a good tip. If your move was especially difficult, you might tip each mover up to $100. Don’t forget that refreshments are always appreciated.
Moving Day
Verify Make sure that the moving truck that shows up is from the company you hired: The USDOT number painted on its side should match the number on the estimate you were given. Scams are not unheard-of.
Take inventory Before the movers leave, sign the bill of lading/inventory list and keep a copy.
Now, take a deep breath and congratulate yourself on completing this big change.
Chapter 5
Color Your World!
Cozy, comfortable, elegant, masculine, sunny, bright, beautiful… every room is a statement! Much like the artist beginning a new painting, treat your walls like a canvas and begin to paint a picture with color first. Paint is the least expensive method to create the greatest change.
Where does it start?
There’s a method to the madness that everyone needs to understand to successfully create the feeling you want to project.
If you simply cannot imagine what color makes you feel good, walk around in stores, model homes and your friend’s homes; pay attention to each room and how it ‘feels’ when you walk into the space.
Colors have feelings!
Walk into the rooms in your home and imagine how you want them to ‘feel.’ Then consider the following as you make the final selection. To sum it up:
Red
Physiological Effect: Red has been shown to increase blood pressure and stimulate the adrenal glands. The stimulation of the adrenals glands helps us become strong and increases our stamina. Pink, a lighter shade of red, helps muscles relax.
Psychological Effect: While red has proven to be a color of vitality and ambition it has been shown to be associated with anger. Sometimes red can be useful in dispelling negative thoughts, but it can also make one irritable. Pink has the opposite effect of red.
Pink induces feelings of calm, protection, warmth and nurturing. This color can be used to lessen irritation and aggression as it is connected with feelings of love. Red is sometimes associated with sexuality, whereas pink is associated with unselfish love.
Red is a highly energetic color. Take a look around fast food restaurants like McDonald’s and you will frequently see reds and deep yellows. The subliminal message is ‘hurry up and hurry out.’ The more people they move, happily, through the restaurant the more they can serve.
If you are considering using red tones in your home keep in mind that it should be contained to a high energy area unless you have a careful plan to seduce your partner. We’ll discuss that later in this book; the effects of colors, not seducing your partner!
Pink evokes a completely different feeling even though it is a shade of red. Little girls love it in every shade from Fuchsia to pale ice pink. It is a feel good, warm color. I try to avoid pinks or gender colors in master bedrooms.
Orange
Physiological Effect: Orange has proven to be a stimulus of the sexual organs. Also, it can be beneficial to the digestive system and can strengthen the immune system.
Psychological Effect: Orange has shown to have only positive effects on your emotional state. This color relieves feelings of self-pity, lack of self-worth and unwillingness to forgive. Orange opens your emotions and is a terrific antidepressant.
Orange is another high energy color. This color is sensual and sets a mood of sharing and playtime. The tangerine shades are warm and can be inviting in many areas. The deeper shades now available like the ‘Olympic Grecian Leather’ can actually set a sophisticated mood with white or light furniture.
Yellow
Physiological Effect: Yellow has proven to stimulate the brain. This stimulation can make you more alert and decisive. This color makes muscles more energetic and activates the lymph system.
Psychological Effect: Similarly to Orange, Yellow is a happy and uplifting color. It can also be associated with intellectual thinking: discernment, memory, clear thinking, decision-making and good judgment. Also affects aiding organization, understanding of different points of view.
Yellow builds self-confidence and encourages optimism. However, a dull yellow can bring on feelings of fear.
Yellow tends to work best in kitchens where a sunny wakeup call is inviting, in bathrooms to create a light hearted feeling and in children’s playrooms.
This color energizes; you may want to reconsider a pure yellow in children’s bedrooms for that very reason.
Gold Tones are popular shades that run from the palest gold tones to the deep gingerroot tones typically used to create a Mediterranean feel.
The soft tones are warm and relaxing, the deeper ones are more calming but all work well with darker furniture tones, metals and brown accessories.
In small rooms prepare to be overwhelmed by dark gold tones. The exception to this rule is using it in half baths where accessories can create an entirely different feeling.
Green
Physiological Effect: Green is said to be good for your heart. On a physical and emotional level, green helps your heart bring you physical equilibrium and relaxation. Green relaxes our muscles and helps us breathe deeper and slower.
Psychological Effect: Green creates feelings of comfort, laziness, relaxation and calmness. It helps us balance and soothe our emotions. Some attribute this to its connection with nature and our natural feelings of affiliation with the natural world when experiencing the color green.
Yet, darker and grayer greens can have the opposite effect. These olive green colors remind us of decay and death and can actually have a detrimental effect on physical and emotional health. Note that sickened cartoon characters always turn green.
Green is the comeback kid in colors. It has been widely used in those awful hospital rooms, avocado appliances we would rather forget and now in lime that makes an interesting, if faddish, statement.
Gray greens are very calming, allowing the accessories to make the statement and set the ‘mood.’
Teals, or blue greens, lead us to a tropical paradise feeling if combined with accessories that complete that look. Think gentle ocean breezes or even tropical evening skies when considering this color.
Be careful when choosing the shade of teal for offices or places where you want to accomplish work tasks. You will probably not want to do it.
Blue
Physiological Effect: In contrast to red, blue proves to lower blood pressure. Blue can be linked to the throat and thyroid gland. Blue also has a very cooling and soothing affect, often making us calmer. Deep blue stimulates the pituitary gland, which then regulates our sleep patterns. This deeper blue also has proved to help the skeletal structure in keeping bone marrow healthy.
Psychological Effect: We usually associate the color blue with the night and thus we feel relaxed and calmed. Lighter blues make us feel quite and away from the rush of the day. These colors can be useful in eliminating insomnia. Like yellow, blue inspires mental control, clarity and creativity. However, too much dark blue can be depressing.
Blue is a love it or hate it color. In its palest shades it evokes calm and cool emotions.
Dark Blue, when combined with the right accessories, can be beautiful if the room is large enough to use this color for the ‘canvas.’ In master suites with all white accessories it becomes a paradise to relax in. Blue is the favorite color selection in all ethnic groups.
Purple
Physiological Effect: Violet has shown to alleviate conditions such as sunburn due to its purifying and antiseptic effect. This color also suppresses hunger and balances the body's metabolism. Indigo, a lighter purple, has been used by doctors in Texas as an anesthesia in minor operations because of its narcotic, ‘a soothing or numbing agent affiliation.’
Psychological Effect: Purples have been used in the care of mental or nervous disorders because they have shown to help balance the mind and transform obsessions and fears. Indigo is often associated with the right side of the brain; stimulating intuition and imagination.
Violet is associated with bringing peace and combating shock and fear. Violet has a cleansing effect with emotional disturbances. Also, this color is related to sensitivity to beauty, high ideals and stimulates creativity, spirituality and compassion. Psychic power and protection has also been associated with violet.
Purple is a warm color that evokes a feeling of royalty, velvet, and beautiful sunsets. It is a balancing color that heals and yet stimulates creativity.
Brown
Psychological Effect: Brown is the color of the earth and ultimately home. This color brings feelings of stability and security. Sometimes brown can also be associated with withholding emotion and retreating from the world.
Psychological Effect: Brown is a bold color that makes a bold statement. It has a stabilizing effect; however, the way it is used will determine the actual affect. In large rooms with light wood or white trim it can create a warm and energizing feeling.
Beige, Taupe and light neutral shades of brown are a warmer shade of white. These colors make a perfect neutral backdrop and can feel warm or impersonal depending on the way you use furnishings and accessories.
If you are in doubt you will find that these colors or a very light brown/gray shade will match almost any furniture and set a neutral tone.
White
Psychological Effect: White is the color of ultimate purity. This color brings feelings of peace and comfort while it dispels shock and despair.
White can be used to give you a feeling of freedom and uncluttered openness. Too much white can give feelings of separation and can be cold and instill the feeling of isolation.
Show me a home or apartment with plain white walls, pictures hung high by the ceiling and furniture lined against the walls and I would like to introduce you to the ‘House of Commons!’
White is cooling, calming and sometimes sophisticated; it can also feel cold, devoid of emotion and boring.
The same room transforms to sophisticated, soothing and beautiful when you add textured white window coverings, sumptuous white and contrasting rugs and throw pillows and a bold sofa. If this is combined with black and white photos you will feel like you have walked onto a movie set.
Be careful with a decision to paint everything white. Later we will talk about accessories and textures and how they affect your paint choice
Gray
Psychological Effect: Gray is the color of independence and self-reliance, although usually thought of as a negative color. It can be the color of evasion and non-commitment (since it is neither black nor white.) Gray indicates separation, lack of involvement and ultimately loneliness; unless…
Shades of Gray; Lighter shades of gray, with white tones, work perfectly with furniture that does not have browns as a primary color. This creates a soft and cool tone in the room.
Dark gray becomes a sophisticated backdrop when mixed with white or dark wood trim in the room.
Black is a bold, dramatic, confident and sophisticated color. It is a primary color and yet the attributes of both white and gray are felt in various shades of black. It is sometimes cold. Use it sparingly unless you have a serious plan for the entire room.
Everything is crystal clear now, right? It helps to envision the room bathed in your color selection. Close your eyes and ‘feel’ the room, visually place your favorite furniture or accessories in the space; then select the color that delivers the message you want to project.
Painting is a task that most people can perform at some level. If you are fortunate enough to be able to afford a painter you will likely make that choice.
Many painting contractors are looking for work since the housing and new construction market has become so depressed.
This means pricing is negotiable. Don’t pass on this idea until you try pricing the job unless your budget does not accommodate the possibility.
If you intend to paint the rooms yourself (I always have) there are a few tips that will make your project run smoothly and produce results you can be proud of.
a) Choose a good, dependable paint. Satin or eggshell paint creates a soft and nearly flat appearance that does not show defects in the wall.
This happens because it has no sheen; light does not reflect off of it. Keep that in mind when choosing the color, you may want to slightly lighten the shade.
The washable flat paint also hides imperfections and works nicely with the Shabby Chic look. It is a little more expensive so weigh the benefits against the cost and then decide what works best for your budget.
b) Cover the floors, even if you think they are easy to clean or not really important. You’ll be glad you did when clean up time is upon you.
c) If you are not completely comfortable with your trim brush, tape, tape and tape again.
d) Buy good paint rollers and the right length of roller covers. You really do get what you pay for in the paint materials.
e) Great brushes (horsehair if possible, with thin tapered edges) are the easiest to get a perfect edge on the trim work.
I was given the opportunity to learn from a professional and discovered that taking a long look at the angle of the wall and where it meets the ceiling is vital to know which way to set the brush on the wall and trim it out.
Stand back and take a good look at the angles of the walls and the ceiling and set the brush down with the bare tip of the brush at the point where the wall meets the ceiling.
f) Roll the walls in (W) patterns and back again. This is one time when straight lines will not be your friend. The more directions you roll in, the smoother the overall finish will be.
g) Use enamel paint on trim work. It wears beautifully and washes easily. It is also a pain to work with as it is almost never washable and turpentine will become a new friend.
h) I try to avoid semi gloss finishes. They are dated, show every imperfection on the walls and attract attention to the walls rather than letting them be the canvas they should be.
Who knew there was so much emotion in a simple can of paint? Make your selection and be brave; the results are so worth the effort.
If you are renting, get permission to paint and be prepared to repaint the walls to white when you leave.
I refuse to rent a property I cannot paint; I know it is essential to feeling like I live in a home, not a house. Besides, however can we create a masterpiece if we have no canvas?
Chapter 6
When Chaos is King
Look around; if this does not apply to your own home I bet you know someone this glove fits!
Chaos in a home is evident when there is no specific place for shoes, clothing, books, TV remotes and a host of other things.
I can’t tell you how many times I have walked into a home like this and listened to the host who relates one of the following causes:
a) “No one listens; the kids refuse to help and I can’t do this by myself.”
b) “My partner won’t help! He or she is a slob and has no respect for the things that are important to me.”
c) “I’m busy! I don’t have time to be a slave to a house.”
d) “I’m no maid; why should I pick up after everyone? No one does it for me!”
e) “I don’t care. Houses are just not that important to me!”
f) “I had to clean house all of my life! My mother made me clean hers and my kids can do ours!” (More common that you know) Imagine hearing, “This house is a mess! The kids haven’t cleaned yet!” And, it feels right to the person who is saying this to you.
g) “I spent a lot of years getting my education and degree; I have way too much on the ball to worry about housework”. (This is a VIP syndrome)
h) “I hate housework! Who cares?”
There are lot’s more; these are the ones I most frequently hear. Catch a clue here; these people have some things in common!
1) There is an underlying anger issue in nearly every statement. Someone feels used or abused!
2) People are confused about time issues; what takes their time and what wastes their time.
3) Declining health issues have begun and normal maintenance, upkeep and housekeeping have become too difficult to perform.
4) Most people who have chaos in their home are overwhelmed. They can’t ‘see the reaching’ and the task seems daunting. What’s the use of digging in if it won’t make a difference?
5) There is usually chaos in some other important area of the lives of people who choose to live like this. Your surroundings reflect your state of consciousness.
Your home is the biggest investment you will likely make and the one place charged with providing comfort to you and your family.
That’s why it is referred to as your castle in general; and why the US Constitution takes so much care to protect your rights with respect to your home.
It’s important! Let’s find the method to make you fall in love with it again!
Chapter 3 is a short chapter that is devoted to the ‘On the Move’ issue. If you are in that position it is the best place to start.
If you move into a home and create order, you will enjoy far more harmony in the space and not have to tear down the chaos that has accumulated.
Most people are not on the move; they’re already there. Spend a short time examining why chaos reigns supreme in your home.
One by one, let’s examine the most typical ‘reasons’ people provide; then we can visit getting a new perspective on this issue!
Solutions to Consider
a)“No one listens; the kids refuse to help and I can’t do this by myself.”
Chaos, in and of itself, creates the ‘no one listens’ attitude. Everyone feels overwhelmed, no one knows where to start and no one can see the finish line.
Therefore, everyone refuses to waste their time helping achieve something they believe is not possible. This becomes a habit! After some time passes it becomes, “This is how we live.”
Someone has to ‘step up’ and begin the change process. It is a little tougher when you are feeling overwhelmed but things happen quickly once you commit to it.
One at a time – this is the process. I like to start at the front door; you choose your most important starting point.
Many people who exhibit the ‘It’s no one’s business how my house looks’ attitude scoff at the front door process. I can’t understand why these people don’t see that they and their family use the same door! Who doesn’t want to be warmly welcomed at their front door?
If you can’t imagine where to start I like to empty the room. Leave the furniture if you don’t have the space to move it out, but move it to the center of the room. Then clear the room, pictures and all.
It’s a new point of beginning. Look at the walls and windows. This is a great time to take stock of wall colors.
Soothing neutral earth tone colors set the tone of warmth and coziness. If you don’t have one on your walls try to find $20.00 in your budget and buy paint.
Clean the woodwork and windowsills, and then move to the windows. Sparkling clean windows allows natural light to penetrate the gloom.
Clean the floor. Then tackle the overhead lighting or fans. Chapter 9 ‘Let There Be Light’ is devoted to how to select lighting that fits your personal style and budget and creates the feeling you want to inspire in your room.
It may be worth jumping to Chapter 9 as you tackle this issue.
A lack of storage is the chief offender in chaos. Either you can’t find it or never used it! It’s time.
First take a long and honest look at the things you have removed from your room. What falls into the ‘clutter’ pile and what is important to you?
Eliminate the clutter. I find it to be easier to leave it in the pile I have moved out of the room and follow this process until every room is finished. Then make the final decision as to whether it is a ‘must keep item’ or can leave your life gracefully.
Check out the Furniture Placement chapter in this book and get some ideas as to how it affects the room.
Look at what you want to create and then be bold! Try some different furniture placement ideas and find the one that best suits you.
After the first room is complete, this becomes a natural process to move through the home and eliminate chaos and clutter. So dig in!
b) “My partner won’t help! He or she is a slob and has no respect for the things that are important to me.”