Unveiling
By Raihanaty A Jalil
Published by Raihanaty A Jalil at Smashwords
Cover Design by Craig Childs
Copyright 2011 Raihanaty A Jalil
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
This ebook is licensed for your personal enjoyment only. This ebook may not be re-sold or given away to other people. If you would like to share this book with another person, please purchase an additional copy for each recipient. If you're reading this book and did not purchase it, or it was not purchased for your use only, then please return to Smashwords.com and purchase your own copy. Thank you for respecting the hard work of this author.
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TABLE OF CONTENTS
Chapter 1 - Those teenage years
Chapter 2 - The transition into reality
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INTRODUCTION
They say that a person's writing is a glimpse of their soul, describing its inner musings, its struggles and reflecting its wisdoms and growth. I must admit, for this reason, I've always been a bit apprehensive about sharing my writing with others, when writing has always been a very personal thing to me. Writing is my therapy, my solace, and the avenue through which I have come to realise a lot about myself.
So the sharing of my writing has been a journey in itself, a journey that brings me to this point, this moment, this decision to move past my anxiety and forge ahead in selecting and compiling the works of the past 14 years of my life to complete this new endeavor.
This is a poetic autobiography; describing my life journey through my collection of poetry written from that time they call 'the awkward age', until this period of adulthood I am now in. I hope you find something amidst my works that causes you to also reminisce over periods in your own life; I pray you are moved in some way as I begin this unveiling...
Important Note: As this collection of poetry is a reflection of my personal and spiritual development, the poems in this book are best read for the first time in the sequence they have been put in.
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CHAPTER 1: Those teenage years
...of fairytales of castles in the sky, of 'crushes' and all the pain they entail, (which must be why they're called such, the experience 'crushes' our young hearts!), of illusions and confusions. Don't we miss those times...not!
As you begin reading the poems from this interesting chapter in my life, if you pay close attention, you'll learn something very quickly about me...
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A love
A love which is bought
Will leave the lover in confusion
For he shan’t truly love.
A love which is bought
Will leave the loved a feeling of emptiness
For she shan’t truly be loved.
A love which is misused
Will leave a feeling of regret
For saying what was not really meant.
A love which is misused
Will leave the innocent heartbroken
For believing so deeply what was said.
A love which is sacrificed
Will lead to great unhappiness
For she shan’t truly love.
A love which is sacrificed
Will bury away her true love
Or perhaps a love that was meant to be.
A love which is forced
Will leave the lover in misery
And hate for the one who forces.
A love which is forced
Isn’t a love at all
For true love only comes from the heart.
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LOVE
L ove is a pledge to one’s heart and soul, an
O ath to care till the end of time, a
V ow to never leave one’s side, and
E ternity itself
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Aww... I was quite adorable as a teenager, don't you agree?
The next couple of poems were ones in which I tried to imagine what it would be like to be in love and have my heart broken, tried to imagine the thoughts and emotions I would be experiencing and express them into words. Strange I know, to want to put myself in such a state and write about it; but then, teenagers are strange creatures... Or I suppose another way to look at it is, I sometimes enjoy writing 'fictional poetry'. In what follows, each poem has its own story. For example, the next poem is about a girl who learns that she was sadly just another 'fling'.
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Tears
Tears in my eyes, tears on my cheek
Tears pouring down, my soul feels weak.
Your same kind of day, your same words spoken
Your same time and place, but another heart broken.
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When Loves Fades
I thought it would last forever,
I thought we were now one,
And no-one else would matter,
I thought our love was strong.
But slowly my smiles meant nothing,
When once they meant the world,
And your gazes seemed so empty,
Though once warm, now almost cold.
Though my mind would tell me ‘it’s happening’,
I’d push the thought away,
For my heart was blinded by a love,
Which was simply fading away.
And when our eyes would touch,
And a sign of hope would show,
My heart would simply crumble,
When you’d quickly turn and go.
If your hand I’d try to reach,
To hold and claim as mine,
You’d pretend to need to use it,
Thinking I was blind.
Though I’d hoped we would work it out,
You said we weren’t meant to be,
Then you turned and walked away,
My tears you could not see.
I’ll never forget the sadness,
I felt when you said good-bye.
Just seeing the places we’ve spent together,
Makes my heart want to cry.
If our eyes should touch once more,
I’d quickly turn away.
So you wouldn’t see the same tears,
Which control me night and day.
Though your love for me has faded,
My love for you is true,
Again, my heart is on its knees,
Forever wanting you.
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In the Shadows of My Grief
In the shadows of my grief, I see you cry,
I feel your pain, then time goes by.
In the shadows of my sadness, I watch you melt,
Into a puddle of tears, your hurt I felt.
In the shadows of my loneliness, I see your face,
All streaked with tears, you beg for grace.
In the shadows of my secrecy, I watch you hide,
To shed your tears, none by your side.
In the shadows of my love, I feel your heart,
Still crumbling down, all torn apart.
In the shadows of my affection, I long for you,
To mend my heart, and to love me too.
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If love were to be...
If love were to be words, mere words, words just.
Anyone’s lies, white lies you trust.
Could words be love, mere words be this?
Yet I feel more’s to be done, for you still, I miss.
If love were to be a rose, red as blood, sweet as day.
Yet as time goes by, it withers away.
Could a rose be love, could my love be a rose?
Could a rose preserve its beauty, for as long as my love for you grows?
Shan’t love be a smile, a hug and a kiss?
Or when just feeling your presence, I feel utter bliss?
Is there need for words, when a silence says all?
Is a withering rose worthy, of the title of love we do call?
Love is what I feel, and what I feel is true.
Because the more that I loved you, the greater my love grew.
And, loving you still, not a thing can express.
For every expression possible, reveals a love that is less.
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Husband to a Wife
How to do you smile to me now,
When you’ve toiled till your hands have grown dry?
But I do not toil, love, (nor do my hands tire),
No, I do not toil, I ‘beautify’.
How do you stand it, get through the days,
Long days of chores and children’s cries?
It is the reward, love, (though days seem never long),
It is the reward of your gratified eyes.
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Are you thinking what I'm thinking? Yes, thank goodness for those last two poems not being depressing like those before (so I was not a complete nutcase)!
Actually, I wrote "Husband to a Wife" after reflecting one day with my naive teenage mind that, when I got married and found myself with responsibilities, housework, children and so forth, I believed that I wouldn't mind the struggles as long as I was blessed with a man who took notice of them and who made me feel appreciated. I wrote the poem, picturing a scene of this ideal (non-existent?) man conversing with his beloved... (This is the point where we all sigh).
Okay, I'll stop being silly now. The next few poems begin a bit random, but slowly progress into some deeper musings, which I suppose is quite reflective of what teenage years are like - unpredictable!
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Knowledge
Knowledge is a treasure,
A treasure we seek,
A treasure that can’t be taken.
Knowledge is to know,
A know we keep,
A know we pass on to generations.
Knowledge can be little,
As little as a grain,
As little as to know how to use a knife.
Knowledge can be a lot,
And the more we gain,
The more we can make it through life.
Knowledge we’ve seek,
From the day we were born,
To the day we lay at our grave.
We thank our Lord,
The Creator of dawn,
For all the knowledge He gave.
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Fear
Fear wrapped her fingers around my throat,
Making me hold my breath.
Her faint footsteps I could just hear,
And her whispers... of death.
Fear chases me, making me run
Further into the night.
I run in my room and close the door,
Then I quickly switch on the light.
As I look around, I see nothing but air,
And nothing but air sees me.
So I turn off the light and get into bed,
Then once again, fear walks free.
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War - Justice for all?
Would it be justice to kill so many
But to really want only one?
Would it be fair to shoot a stranger
Who, to you, no harm was done?
Is it justice to maim the innocent
To kill the one unarmed?
Is it fair to murder victims
Who were surprised, and so young?
Is it worth dying,
With loved ones left crying?
Is it justice when good overpowers evil
And is dying for your country worthy
When life is precious at first
But expendable when fighting?
Is it fairness punishing all evil-doers
For crimes done and planned?
Is it justice when only the bad are killed
And the innocent are left safe and sound?
Is it fairness when the battle is won
With God or freedom in sight?
It is worth crying when heroes are flying
And remembered only on certain days?
War—justice for all
Fairness to some and few.
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