Stress–less
Your guide to better living
By
Zita Weber Ph.D.
Copyright 2011 Zita Weber
Smashwords Edition
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Contents
One – What’s this thing called stress?
Three – Getting through the day
Four – Facing up to what has to be done
Five – Handling work: the specter of burnout
Six – Taking the stress out of relationships
Stress as we’ve come to know it is something negative that we feel we should eliminate from our lives. Yet, without some level of stress, we would be listless and bored. The trick is getting the balance right. Just enough stress to make life interesting and worth living but not enough to create the many physical and psychological ailments of our fast–paced modern society.
In this little book, you’ll make discoveries about what’s known about stress and how we can stress less in our lives yet retain our interest and verve for living. Without stress there is no life, however, there is ‘good stress’ and ‘bad stress’ and how we can tell the difference is what counts. How do we give ourselves a ‘stress inoculation’ shot? How do we use stress to help us in our work and relationships and how do we counter stress that negatively affects our daily lives?
You’ll hear from other people who’ve experienced stress and what they found helps them. Sharing strategies is a positive way of opening up the conversation about what helps and hinders our stress levels. You’ll also be given the opportunity to do some tasks and exercises that will help you understand yourself and your responses to stress. By understanding yourself and your responses better, you can empower yourself to use stress as a positive force in your life. And you’ll be empowered to eliminate the stress that gets in the way of healthy living.
Stress–less for a more positive life. Your journey begins here.
What’s this thing called stress?
Everyone’s heard of it. Stress. It’s all around us. It’s part of everyone’s life. Stress is the application of some force or pressure to something. Basically, we need some force or pressure in our lives to get us moving. Stress also can keep us moving.
Imagine too much force being applied to something. It bends. Too much force may cause a permanent distortion. Or the object may break. So it is with people.
Think about stress as arousal. When you have very low levels of arousal, you feel under–stimulated and chances are, you are under–motivated. You need more stimulation or arousal. On the other hand, very high levels of arousal will leave you over–stimulated and you feel revved up.
People who find themselves in a state of over–arousal show all the signs of too much stress – at risk of bending or breaking. They complain of anxiety, tension, fatigue, and other physical symptoms. Sometimes people who are stressed try to cope with their over–arousal by smoking, eating or drinking too much. This is likely to add to their problems. It may feel like stress management to them, but in the long–run, such behaviors merely complicate and add to their high levels of stress.
Stress – your friend and foe
Let’s take a look at the simple term, ‘stress’. It’s not so simple really. Stress is a word which masks something much more complicated – stress can mean different things to different people and different things to the same person in different situations.
Remember that where there is no stress, there is no life. An early pioneer in the field of stress, Dr. Hans Selye, said, ‘Stress is the spice of life.’
Researchers have found that some stress is good for you, but too much isn’t. Stress is as much about challenge and excitement, as it is about anxiety and burn–out.
Manageable stress is when you feel like you’re able to mobilize your resources and tackle the tasks and problems in your life. This sort of stress can be ‘good’ stress – it can be your friend. It’s stimulating enough to help you to get going and keep going.
‘Bad’ stress can be your foe. This is where an overload of stress produces unpleasant feelings, physical symptoms, fatigue and a feeling of burn–out.
Tip: It’s a good idea to think about stress as a powerful servant but a tyrannical master. Stress can be a rich source of energy, leading to achievement and creativity. Or it can be a source of corrosion, leaving you feeling empty and exhausted.
Knowing the signs
Ten signs of stress:
1. irritability
2.
poor memory
3. muddled thoughts
4. exhaustion
5. loss of
interest in sex
6. sleeping problems
7. low confidence
8.
depression
9. crying easily
10. fear of social situations
Stressed people feel like there’s been a general downturn in their lives. There is a feeling of being overwhelmed and a fear of loss of efficiency and lack of motivation.
The most common physical symptoms of stress are:
1. headache
2.
stomach trouble
3. lower back pain
4. tension at the base of
the neck
5. chronic constipation
6. chest tightness
High levels of stress makes people deeply unhappy and creates sickness. People who feel constantly stressed can’t expect to function well in any sphere of their lives.
Exercise – Checklist of emotional and behavioral signs of stress
Instructions: Look at the question and answer as honestly as possible whether you feel or behave as the question asks: often, sometimes, rarely or never. Place a tick under the appropriate category. If you find yourself answering ‘never’ to a lot of the questions, go back and check that you are being honest and not trying to build an unrealistically positive picture for yourself.
How often do you:
Feel frustrated?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Feel irritable?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Feel restless?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Feel easily
confused?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Become forgetful?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Think negatively?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Drink too much
alcohol?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Eat too much?
Often
| Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Miss meals?
Often
| Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Feel teary?
Often
| Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Want to hide from
the world?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Have mood swings?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Feel like you don’t
have enough energy?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Have trouble getting
out of bed in the morning?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Have trouble
concentrating?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Find it difficult to
get to sleep?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Find it hard to make
decisions?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Feel angry?
Often
| Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Worry about the
future?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Worry you can’t
cope?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Take prescribed
drugs?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
Feel emotional and
upset?
Often | Sometimes | Rarely | Never
After you’ve completed the checklist, take a good look at your responses. The more emotions and behaviors you answered ‘sometimes’ and ‘often’ to, the more likely it is that you’re suffering from stress.
Let’s take a closer look at some of the physical manifestations of stress and their effects on our bodies.
* Neck pain,
backache, joint deterioration and dental pain
Your
chronically tight muscles put pressure on your spine, shoulders, neck
and joints. This can lead to deterioration in the bone structure,
back pain and if you have a susceptibility to arthritis, this
condition may worsen. Periods of stress also result in teeth–grinding
in some people. This can cause dental wear and tear and bruising of
the gums.
* Indigestion,
ulcers and colitis
Disorders like ulceration and colitis are
associated with blood starvation of the digestive tract. Your
digestive tract’s ability to repair itself is reduced during
periods of stress, because blood is being siphoned off to your large
muscles and brain. Stress also leads to increased acidity and
indigestion.
* Sexual
dysfunction
When stressed, you’ll find sexual performance
more difficult. There is blood starvation of your genitals. This
means that men may have difficulty sustaining an erection and women
will have less lubricating vaginal secretions.
* Breathlessness
and hyperventilation
An intense stress reaction can bring on
over–breathing. Pins–and–needles and light–headedness is the
result of a build–up of carbon dioxide in the blood. Often this is
accompanied by a sense of breathlessness, which maintains the
over–breathing.
* High
blood–pressure, vascular disorders and heart disease
Periods
of high stress can cause peaks in blood–pressure. Chronic high
blood–pressure is related to chronic stress. If you’re
susceptible to vascular disorders, strokes or heart irregularities,
then periods of high stress can lead to the chance of a trauma.
* Eczema, skin
disorders and sweating
Perspiration and blushing, which are
part of your temperature–control mechanisms, can aggravate skin
conditions in susceptible people. High stress periods are associated
with skin outbreaks. It’s thought that there is similar connection
between stress and disorders such as shingles and herpes.
* Infections and
auto–immune disorders
Secretions from your adrenal cortex
during periods of high stress interfere with the body’s internal
defenses. Your ability, in times of stress, to defend against
invasion by bacteria and infections is disrupted.