THE HONING
By David Dumas
The Honing
Copyright 2011 David Dumas
Smashwords Edition
Smashwords Edition, License Notes
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To contact the author:
Email: ddumas1@roadrunner.com
Author website: daviddumas.org.
This book is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places, and incidents are the products of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously. Any resemblance to actual events or locales or persons, living or dead, is entirely coincidental.
This novel came about in a rather unorthodox manner, but much of my life could be deemed unorthodox. As many a writer has done, I’d day dreamed of putting my sometimes wild and more often untamed imagination on paper. One hot summer day fate came crashing down like thunder as I wrenched my back playing with my children in the pool. I know some would say I’m too macho to be a writer but evidently that’s not true.
Idle all of three or four days I was driving my significant other crazy in the house. So she told me to buy a laptop and do what I’d always wanted to do. Unable to figure out the inner workings of email, I instead decided to delve into my twisted mind, be creative, and write my novel. A short three years later I find myself writing these acknowledgments.
My creative juices began flowing whilst in my first Creative Writing course in my senior year of High School. Through the following years those juices remained canned, on a shelf, stored neatly in the back of my mind. Many ideas, and as many failed attempts craned their collective necks over the peas and carrots from that dusty old shelf in an attempt to make it as far as the fourth chapter. The Honing is testament to not giving up.
I’d like to dedicate this novel firstly to my mother who absolutely lives for books and although she’s not hip on the thought of her son publishing an eBook, I’m sure she’ll learn to live with it. Secondly I feel much of the result of this work can honestly be dedicated to my other half. Jamie can be summed up by the very word dedication. She is driven like no other person I’ve met. Some of that must have rubbed off on me. She tolerated the late nights listening to the tapping of my keyboard, learning to sleep with the light on, and mostly, learning to sleep next to a man who spent his nights penning the tortuous deaths of many. She is my driving force in life, the mother to our children, and yes, she’s my best friend. This novel would have remained shelved if it were not for her influence in my life.
Table of Contents
A disheveled woman sat, impatiently strumming her fingers on the cold, hard table. Seconds seemed like hours as the non-descript clock above the door slowly ticked away. She anxiously waited for the man across from her to offer an answer to the looming question. Dr. Miles Duvall, a renowned Psychiatrist, squared his massive frame on Patricia.
“Frankly, I don’t know how long you’ll have to stay in the hospital my dear.”
These words hung in the air as Patricia Fordam drew the sharp blade across her wrist. Slowly, the memory faded as her life was coming to an end. She would never leave the hospital that had become her prison.
On the redeye back to Europe and his unloving father a well-worn diary lay in the seat beside Brad. His hand rested on the cover as he wept in his sleep for the untimely loss of his mother. Knowing that his future was laid out before him, something silently brewed within. It would be years before he would act on these feelings and his mother’s wishes. A time would come when the darkness would seep from within and consume all in its path.
But life went on for young Brad. He excelled at university while distancing himself from his callous father. On his own he flourished, quickly rising to fame as a top Linguistics professor at Yale while also building a loving family. Paralleling his father’s career path, the darkness slowly crept in from the recesses of his mind. Brad realized he would have to finish what was silently promised to his mother, so many years ago.
CHAPTER 1
Darkness enveloped him as he lay on the cold, damp floor. An overwhelming feeling of disparity gripped him. Although blinded by darkness, Wesley’s other senses thrived. His hearing remained intact, as well as touch, and smell, but without the ability to tell time he was losing his ability to remain in contact with reality. Wesley James Fordam lay shivering in the fetal position unaware of what was to come.
By his estimation, Wesley had been in this cell what he considered two days, cut off from everything he knew. Isolated, hungry and stiff he feared for his future. He awoke groggy from what he knew was an injected sedative. He could feel the crusty residue of blood at the injection site.
He’d walked the perimeter of his cell always finding the same things, cold, uneven stone walls. There were no windows, light fixtures, power outlets, or light switches. Nothing, except the damp walls and a forbidding steel door, void of any hardware. If his captors, or captor, he didn’t know how many of them there were, were pushing for complete isolation they’d accomplished their goal with high marks. He’d been stripped of his shoes, his watch, his tie and his belt. Anything, Wesley thought, that he could use to inflict self-injury.
Thoughts of a lecture he had given on Tuesday evening flitted through his mind but everything after leaving the lecture hall was a blank. Wesley tried thinking of faces that seemed out of place during the event, maybe one. There was one familiar face. His mind raced as he attempted to inject logic into his situation. “Who would have done this? Why?” There were no answers, only more questions. He backed into a corner cradling his legs, searching for answers.
CHAPTER 2
On day two, as far as Wesley could tell, the loneliness of isolation evaporated. Blinding lights seared his eyes as wailing sirens invaded his mind. Wesley cowered in a corner, hunching toward the walls, unable to cover both his eyes and ears at the same time. The assault lasted minutes – an eternity. Anger grew deep inside Wesley giving him renewed strength. He found his footing and stood to assess the intruder, but there was none. Just as suddenly as the invasion began, it ended. Wesley stumbled backward, leaning against the damp wall.
“Thank God,” he whispered to the dark room. Minutes passed and Wesley took a seat where he found the wall. His sight spotted with bright white dots that slowly faded. More minutes passed and when he thought his vision was once again complete darkness there was another barrage of blinding lights and that God damned siren. This time however, it made a warbling sound and the lights went on and off like strobe lights. Between brief periods of darkness Wesley saw the room remained empty. In a single breath he feared the possibility of facing his captor and quietly thanked fate for not introducing the two. As he canvassed the room the sirens became increasingly louder until he had to cover his ears for protection. Wesley tried to scream to his captors but was hardly able to hear himself over the invading noise. This went on for what seemed to be an hour but was actually closer to fifteen minutes, until it stopped. The sirens faded, making their final reverberations off the walls. The lights were turned off, throwing him back into the oblivion he’d been. Not knowing which was worse, system overload or the bleakness of total isolation and sensory deprivation, Wesley began to scream.
“What the fuck do you want you coward?” he yelled with the most intimidating voice he could muster. He ran to the door pounding it with his closed fist, yet there was nothing except the dull thud of the thick door. “What do you want from me?” he repeated. This lasted only a short time as Wesley found himself losing his voice as he succumbed to pain and fear. After what had been a short reprieve he had been thrown back into total darkness once again, “only for how long this time,” he thought.
His feet damp and his fists bruised, Wesley returned to his spot in the far corner of the room. His back against the wall and crouched in a sitting position, Wesley did the only thing he could. He waited for whatever was next to come. He knew whoever was behind this was playing a game with him. A single question consumed his conscious, “How long will this go on?”
On what felt like day three, and after countless run-ins with the sirens and lights, each time a new variation of sequence, Wesley was startled by a scrapping noise of metal on metal coming from the steel door, the lock! Still blinded by total darkness he scrambled to his feet assuming a defensive position, ready to face his captor. He instinctively raised his shaking hands to shadow the blinding light as the door burst open. Wincing, he saw the outline of a lone figure standing in the brilliant light, a shadow created by the intense light from behind. As he lunged at the entity, he was overcome by a new, alien sensation. His body became rigid as he collapsed to the hard floor below. His breathing came in short, gasping bursts as half a million volts of electricity ripped through him from the stun gun. Wesley watched in frozen horror as his captor moved toward his still seizing body. He was unable to fight and soon felt the sting of another injection. Soon the light faded to a blur as he felt his muscles relax. It was too late to respond as the sedative took hold and snuffed out what consciousness remained. Once again Wesley was shrouded in darkness.
CHAPTER 3
“You should always keep a diary honey.” Alice told her only daughter, Patricia.
“Did you have one when you were a little girl, mommy?”
“Yes sweetie, so did my sister and all of my friends. It’s where we kept all our secrets. Things we didn’t want anyone else to see.” replied Patricia’s mother.
“What if someone looked in your diary? Then they wouldn’t be secrets anymore,”
“Well, you have to do your best to keep it hidden well. So no one finds it.”
“Can you keep two diaries mother?” asked the little Patricia, quizzically.
“Why on earth would you want to keep two diaries honey?” Alice smiled at her daughter’s naivety.
“Well, that way if someone finds your diary, they don’t find all of your secrets,” grinned little Patricia, practically patting herself on the back in triumph.
“You’re one smart cookie Patricia Alice Redding!” Patricia smiled at the response, hugging her mother’s leg.
“Then it’s settled Mama, I’ll keep two diaries, just in case!” announced Patricia.
Patricia Alice Redding was born into a gifted life. Born the daughter of Alice and Robert J. Redding of Bridgeport, Connecticut, she had little to worry about other than if her hat matched her dress as the family prepared themselves for church on Sunday morning. Her father, Robert was a successful broker on Wall Street, so money was never an issue during her childhood.
This afforded her the opportunity of having a stay at home mother and she found that being the younger of two children was not at all a bad thing. Her brother, Charlie was older by two years and was destined for greatness, according to her father. Patricia and Alice were able to pretty well do as they pleased during Patricia’s earlier years, and in fact had spent a large part of it helping those in need. Alice had always preached that giving is better than receiving and will not only help you sleep at night but will assure you a spot in heaven as well. Patricia learned much from her mother in those early years, traits that would remain vigilant throughout her lifetime.
Robert Redding was a good man who provided well for his family. He worked in New York, so many nights he would stay at a small apartment he maintained in the city as a way of reducing commuting during his busy work week. More often than not Robert was a weekend Dad. He would, however make time for the important occasions such as birthday’s, Patricia’s First Communion, and the many nights Patricia was on stage either in a leading role in the school play, or when she played the clarinet in the school’s band. These times were as important to father as they were to daughter.
She attended a public school as her father was a firm believer in the power of government creating a better America. Not that public school in Bridgeport, Connecticut was close to what the average public school system had to offer. She still however, received education of life as well. Patricia`s mother took her everywhere if she was not in school and because of this they had developed a very close relationship. She preferred the weekdays as opposed to the weekends when her father was home. He was a good father, but Robert and Alice had a different agenda on the weekend. His attendance at school functions was more of a show than anything at the time. There were social events to attend and little Patricia often was left behind with the Charlie to watch over her.
There was also the fighting that Patricia had to endure when her father was home. During the week her mother had run the household but when her father was home, things changed. There were different rules to live up to and her parents often fought over how to raise the children. Robert was more conservative than Alice and was raised to believe that a woman’s place was to ‘mind her man’. For the most part that is exactly what transpired in the Redding household but there were incidents that led to some disturbing memories of her parents’ fighting. Back then a fight constituted her mother getting out of hand and her father putting her back in her place. This happened rarely and for the most part Patricia was able to put these out of her mind, to store them in a back compartment of her memory. Not the healthiest way to deal with an issue, but it seemed to work at the time. One thing Patricia’s mother neglected to teach her, unfortunately were healthy coping skills. This would haunt young Patricia for the rest of her life.
As Patricia grew older she had fewer and fewer incidents to store away, and as childhood grew into adolescence; with it came more good memories. Her parents fought less and less it seemed. Patricia had a good life and she knew it too. Every weekend, she would volunteer at the local food bank and would occasionally help her mom with a children’s literacy program Alice had started some years before. Robert and Alice were raising a good-hearted, self-minded child that they believed would do well in life.
High school was a memorable time for Patricia. She became involved in the Drama Club, cheerleading, and also took more of an interest in boys. She breezed through schoolwork with little difficulty and tutored some other kids as well, carrying on the traits her mother had instilled in her to help those in need. She also continued to volunteer with her mother at various places around town. Her parents were very proud of the child they’d raised.
In her junior year, Patricia had indicated to her loving parents that she wanted to attend a college that would allow her to obtain a degree in Social Services. Something Patricia told her mother interested her very much. She’d liked helping people. Patricia never discriminated against those less fortunate than her and when she looked at someone she saw the person as a whole, not a person broken into pieces. She had Alice’s heart and with that heart she would heal others.
Skidmore College, located in Saratoga Springs, New York was happy to accept her into their upcoming freshman class. She not only had the grades and volunteer work to get in, but also came from good stock. A family with money. Although Skidmore was a progressive school for the times, it helped to come from money. Soon she would be off to start undergraduate work in a field Patricia embraced. She would be away for the first time in her life, with the exception of summer camp, which she usually refused to attend. Life was feeling like a new adventure, her wings would no longer clipped and she was free to go where the wind took her, within reason. This new feeling of freedom bode well with her. Patricia left for Skidmore with a promise to her father to do well and a promise to her mother to stay in touch frequently.
CHAPTER 4
Wesley James Fordam awoke with a smile. He and a few buddies were about to embark on a journey to unfamiliar lands. Cadet Fordam was in his senior year at the United States Military Academy, West point New York and currently ranked top in his class. The year was 1962. He was virtually a shoe in at attaining Valedictorian. His classmates nicknamed him “The General”, expecting great achievements during his career. His drive was becoming legendary.
Wesley, along with three other cadets were granted a three-day pass which they decided to use for entertainment and educational purposes. They were traveling to a place rich in military history. They were about to leave for Saratoga Springs to spend a weekend “playing the horses” at the harness track which remained a year-round event since 1941. Unfortunately it was too late in the year to enjoy the Saratoga Meet which ended Labor Day weekend.
The cadets also agreed to visit the Saratoga Battlefield, which is actually a combination of a number of sites of historic value. One battle has been touted as a major turning point in the American Revolutionary war against the British.
The Saratoga Battlefield has been visited by such guests as George Washington, John Quincy Adams, Thomas Jefferson, and James Madison. In 1938, sites were recognized by the United States Congress as the Saratoga National Historical Park. Theodore Roosevelt played a major role while he was Governor of New York State and then as President of the United States. To the four cadets, this was as close to heaven as you could get.
Cadet Nathan Moore hailed from Jacksonville, Florida and was the youngest of the four being in his third year at the Academy. Cadet Kurt Lewis was from Des Moines, Iowa and Cadet Joshua Tanner, Wesley’s best friend, was from Alamogordo, New Mexico. Joshua was ranked a distant second at The Point behind Wesley. The four had decided a weekend at the races would be a good idea and get them out of the area for a couple of days.
It was early fall and the thought of a long New York winter was looming on the horizon. A trip to Saratoga Springs was what the doctor had ordered. They left on a Friday morning by bus and arrived about five hours later in Saratoga. Saratoga Springs was located just south of the Adirondack Mountains, along the Hudson River. Although small in size, the “Queen of the Spas” over-flowed with culture, entertainment, and history.
Because of abundant mineral springs, the area witnessed an influx of wealth and socialites, and with that came horse racing. The streets of Saratoga Springs saw the likes of Vanderbilt’s, Whitney’s, and Rockefellers. Saratoga survived two world wars and the Great depression with prohibition of gambling, to travel restrictions during wartime. The neighborhoods instilled a feeling of its’ great the past while the area flourished, becoming “modern” in an effort to entertain business.
They’d wanted to get to the track but had no idea where it was, so they grabbed their weekend bags and walked downtown. Wesley, being the ‘Alpha Male’ of the group, approached a group of young ladies to ask for directions. When Cadet Fordam returned to his friends with four girls on his arms, all Skidmore students, his rank of General rose to that of hero, their weekend adventure had begun. By the end of the weekend and nearly time for the young cadets to return to West Point two couples had been formed. Joshua Tanner had made promises to see a young lady by the name of Miss Kimberly Johnson and Wesley had made arrangements to see young Patricia Alice Redding in the very near future.
“I’ll call you as soon as I can. I promise” said the young cadet.
“You had better, mister. I’m looking forward to that call already!” Patricia retorted.
“We’ll come back after the semester. I`m sure we can get another weekend pass. We can spend some time together before you go home.”
“I`m not going home for break. Kimmy and I have an internship with the county.” Patricia said. She leaned in to kiss Wesley on the cheek, whispering in his ear as she withdrew.
“Besides, nothing exciting ever happens in Connecticut.”
Wesley`s cheeks took on a red hue as his mind reeled. As he began to speak, Patricia laid a soft finger across his lips.
“You work on getting back here as soon as you can.” She said smiling.
The cadets boarded the Greyhound for their return trip. Patricia and Kimberly waved and blew kisses in the air as the men stared out their windows, excitement etched on their faces.
Patricia had travelled home for winter and summer break the first two years of her college career and felt like she’d wasted time doing nothing important. The girls hailed a cab, returning to the Skidmore campus. They recalled their time with the boys and spoke of how much they anticipated their return.
CHAPTER 5
Patricia and Kimberly had taken a small apartment off-campus for the summer. The apartment was in Ballston Spa on West High Street, a short walk to their places of work. Ballston Spa was only ten or so miles from Saratoga Springs. There was not much of a night life there but it could easily be found in Saratoga. The two had decided that it would be easier if they had stayed in Ballston Spa. When the boys visited they would meet them in Saratoga at the train station. Their arrival was greatly anticipated by both ladies.
“I missed you more than you can imagine Patricia” Wesley had divulged. And he had. He spoke highly and quite often of his young new girlfriend when he went back to West Point. He greatly anticipated his return also. Although his friend and comrade Joshua had mentioned seeing young Kimberly only a handful of times, he did say that he liked her and wanted to see her again but felt that it was going to take “a lot of work” to bed her. This bothered cadet Fordam, but as he was so smitten with Patricia he hardly listened to Joshua’s babblings. The two traveled by rail for their latest trip and found it much more enjoyable, arriving promptly on time and finding two beautiful girls awaiting them.
They had two full days to spend together and no plans were made as of yet. The foursome started their weekend off with a nice walk through Saratoga Springs and ended near the stables of the race track. They had decided to have dinner in Ballston Spa at the apartment. The girls planned a small yet inviting meal for the boys who surely had enough of cafeteria food for a couple of days. They welcomed the meal and gratefully thanked their lovely hostesses.
Wesley and Patricia planned to take a walk after dinner and left Kimberly in the capable hands of young Cadet Tanner.
“I thought we’d walk for a while and then maybe go to the racetrack afterwards.” stated Patricia. Young Wesley was very in tune with this plan hoping to gamble some of his pittance of earnings away. This left Wesley in a very good mood as they began their walk. “Joshua seems like a nice guy, don’t you think?”
“Yeah, he is, though he can be a little moody at times but who can’t at The Point. Things can get a little rough there sometimes, but enough about that. We’ve got a whole weekend to enjoy together.” Patricia smiled at that and her eyes widened a bit.
“I have no idea what the weekend has in store but I’m sure it will be unforgettable!” She practically shouted.
Before they knew it they were at the racetrack placing bets on horses they’d never heard of. They were having a great time and enjoying each other’s company. The night seemed to fly by and before they knew it, they were heading back to Patricia’s apartment after having a couple of drinks at a local bar. What they found when they walked into the apartment would trouble them forever.
CHAPTER 6
Wesley accepted the keys Patricia offered as the two approached her apartment door. As the lock clicked open Wesley turned the knob and pushed the heavy wood door open. Patricia gasped as the door swung open. The apartment was trashed. Practically everything was out of place. Lamps were on the floor, one shattered into small pieces. Tables and chairs were thrown about in a fashion that made them to believe a scuffle took place. The couple entered slowly at first, taking in the unbelievable sight. Wesley pushed past Patricia searching with his sharp blue eyes for any danger. The apartment was silent and darkened, the only light coming from a standing lamp by the couch. A look of horror flitted across Patricia`s soft features as she strode toward a half closed door to the right.
“Kimberly.” She whispered.
Patricia`s voice was soft and crackly. Her trembling hands moved to cover her mouth.
“Patricia, wait!” Wesley snapped as she pushed by his rigid frame.
The bedroom was dark with only a sliver of light shining through the window from a street lamp.
“Oh my God! Oh my God! What has he done?” she said, referring to Joshua. Wesley scanned the room quickly not finding Joshua Tanner anywhere in sight.
“What in the hell happened here?” Wesley yelled, “Josh! Where the fuck are you?”
He quickly ran to the bedside. To Kimberly. She had been left uncovered, her young body glistening in the dim light. Wesley could not help noticing Kimberly’s beautifully sculpted body tied to the bedposts. She was soaking wet with fresh sweat, her nipples erect. He looked at Patricia, his eyes saying “Something’s not right here.” She moved closer to see what he was seeing. At that moment Kimberly’s eyes opened slowly and seemed to focus on Patricia.
“She’s awake, Wes! Her eyes are open!” Wesley looked up and noticed that Kimberly was indeed waking up.
“We need to untie this,” he said as he gently removed a red bandana that had been rolled to gag her mouth.
Wesley`s fingers stumbled as he released the girls right wrist from her restraints. Her wrists were cherry red against her otherwise pale skin. Instead of reeling from her restraint, Wesley noticed that Kimberly’s hand remained on the bed. Patricia worked feverishly at untying her right ankle. Wesley stopped short of reaching over the girl’s nude body to release her other wrist.
“Wait.”
Patricia looked up at Wesley.
“What?” She asked, still shaking.
“Just wait. Something’s not right here.”
Kimberly’s eyelids seemed heavy as she fought to keep them open.
“What do you mean?” Patricia asked, not stopping.
“I’m not sure yet.” Wesley said as he looked to the front of the bed and Patricia. Just then a shadow appeared at the bedroom door. It was Joshua.
Standing in the doorway dressed only in his white boxers, Joshua Tanners voice boomed.
“What the hell is going on?” Joshua demanded as he stepped into the room, having come from the bathroom. In his left hand he held a glass of water, in the other he gripped a clear plastic bag, moisture pooling at its base.
Wesley stood quickly and approached the surprised cadet.
“What in the fuck is going on here Josh?” he yelled. Wesley and Joshua were quickly face to face, it was clear that Cadet Fordam was on the offensive. Joshua backed up a couple of steps and held his hands out in front of him at chest level. Wesley took this act as a sign of aggression and pushed Joshua back with enough force to slam him into the bedroom wall, shattering the glass against the door jam. Regaining his balance, Joshua tried to get control of the situation.
“Hey, this is not what you think!” he barked. “She asked me to do this to her! This was completely her idea.”
As the two Cadets faced off, Patricia began untying her friends’ remaining restraints. They were all similar in fashion to the gag that had been used. Patricia even noticed that two of the restraints used were from her own dresser drawer. Kimberly was almost fully awake by the time Patricia freed her.
“Kimberly,” Patricia said calmly,” you need to tell me what happened here tonight.” Joshua started for the bed but was thrown back into the wall by a red faced Wesley.
“You stay put asshole!”
Kimberly looked up at her friend with a sheepish smile, her voice a little shaky.
“This was just for fun, you know?”
“What do you mean, Kimmy? You let him do this to you on purpose?” She spat.
“Well…” Kimberly paused, “Yes! Don’t tell me you’ve never heard of this. It’s like…roll playing. It’s the greatest feeling in the world, Patty!” Kimberly countered rubbing her wrists as she sat up. “It’s perfectly safe. It’s all planned out in advance” she continued as she wrapped her sweat drenched body with a crumpled sheet.
Joshua started laughing from the corner where he was ordered to stay put.
“I’m sorry you had to see this, guys. I know what it must look like!”
The muscles in Wesley’s torso loosened slightly but he refused to lower his guard.
“You mean to tell me you two planned this? What the fuck Josh? Just when you think you fucking know somebody!”
Wesley dropped to one knee, his body released from its remaining tension.
“What`s so funny Wes?” shouted Patricia. “Kimberly could have been hurt!”
“I don’t think any of this is funny. I almost killed you Josh, you stupid shit!” Wesley said smiling. “Come on Patricia; let’s get out of here for a while. These two need to get cleaned up. Show me around the sprawling city of Ballston Spa.” Patricia shot Kimberly one last concerned look as her friend`s gaze turned downward in embarrassment. As she bit her lower lip, a habit she`d had since childhood as a response to stress, Patricia repeated Wesley`s last words.
“Get cleaned up Kimmy. We’ll see you later.”
With that, Patricia and Wesley left together.
“How can you make light of what happened in there?” She asked, exasperated as they left.
“Look, Josh and I have known each other for three years now. This is news to me too, but you saw it for yourself. They were in it together! She was playing the game just as much as he was. Yeah, it’s way out but it’s something they were both okay with. You can’t argue that!” Patricia frowned and let out a little laugh.
“I just can’t believe you saw her naked!”
“Well, I wasn’t really looking at that point” Wesley answered, smiling. Patricia punched him in the arm and he let out a small groan to let her know that he understood where she was coming from. “Look, if that’s what they’re into so be it, as long as no one gets hurt.”
“How can you still be friends with him after tonight?”
“I’m just going to act like it never happened. It was something that we were not supposed to see and it’s their thing. Are you still going to be friends with Kimberly?” he asked.
“I don’t know. I haven’t really put much thought into it. She seemed like such a nice girl!”
“She still is a nice girl…just with some weird tastes!” This got a good laugh out of Patricia and Wesley could feel the tension leave the conversation. Stopping, she spun on her heel holding a hand to Wesley’s chest, her face suddenly serious.
“You’re not into that stuff are you, Wes?” She asked pointedly.
“Of course not, I’m a good Catholic boy!” he countered.
They walked for over an hour holding hands the whole way. When they returned to the apartment everything was in order, with the exception of the broken lamp that had been placed near the garbage can. Kimberly and Joshua were dressed and acting as if nothing strange happened.
“I want to apologize for what you both saw, we kinda got out of control there for a while. You know how it can get” Joshua stated.
“No, I don’t.” stated Patricia through gritted teeth. “But we accept your apology. Just don’t do it here anymore!” she finished, fighting to produce a smile.
The four remained silent about the incident for the rest of the weekend. The boys left Sunday afternoon on the train out of Saratoga Springs. Wesley asked
“Is that the first time you’ve done that?” his friend as the train passed through a small village south of Hudson.
“No, actually it was the second time. There was this one other girl. It’s kind of funny how it happened, though. Kim and I were asking each other about the wildest things we ever did. We both admitted it and one thing led to another. Before I knew it, she was asking me to tie her up and gag her. She has such a great body…I couldn’t resist. Plus the fact that I’ve been showering with you freakin' guys at The Point for the past three years! There was no way I’d have said no.” Wesley looked at his friend with cold, hard eyes. He’d been raised pretty strictly by parents who never spoke of sex. Joshua sat back in his seat, noting for the first time since they’d met at school, how cold and passionless Wesley`s eyes were. A shiver went through him.
“I just want you to know I still think you`re an asshole!”
Joshua shifted the conversation back to Kimberly.
“She said she’ll come down in a couple of weeks and we can hook up at a motel somewhere near post. Just thinking about her gets me going. There are some other
things she said she wants to try. We’ll see!” He gloated.
Wesley lifted his face from his hands.
“What do you get out of it? I mean, what is the rush all about? I just don’t get it. Maybe I’m just too old fashioned.
Wesley`s gaze was pulled to the window as the train shot past a clearing in the wooded area revealing a towering cliff rising from across the Hudson River. When he spoke his voice was flat, seemingly disconnected from any emotion.
I like Patricia and she’s pretty cool. I think we could have something great, but I couldn’t think of doing the things I saw you two doing. Sex is supposed to be different than that.”
There was an awkward silence that was interrupted by the conductor yelling, “Yonkers! Next stop.”
Joshua joined Wesley, staring through the dirty window. He unconsciously turned and looked at Wesley as the trees overtook the scene.
“I don’t know. Sex to me is like…candy, I guess. You like certain things, but there’s always something tastier that comes along. Look man, we had fun and no one got hurt. You make up a safety word or something like that. Kim wanted to be gagged so she told me before, if she smacks the bedpost with her hand to stop and untie her. There’s a safety net, so it makes it fun, sort of an adventure.” Joshua shrugged.
The two kept quiet most of the way back to West Point. There was some small talk of upcoming tests and drills but for the most part there was quiet. Joshua enduring distant stares from his best friend as Wesley replayed everything in his mind with disgust.
Patricia and Kimberly spoke little of what had happened and spent a quiet night home reading. There was work in the morning and not much to say. Patricia had a very hard time accepting that a woman would willingly want that done to herself, to lose total control over a situation. To be controlled by someone else. She reflected on her own values and vowed never to be placed in such a precarious situation.
Over the next week Wesley called Patricia frequently. Neither mentioned that night, both wanting to see each other again soon. Wesley mentioned that Kimberly was planning a trip to West Point for the upcoming weekend and that it would be great if she could come as well. Patricia regretfully declined the offer. Her parents were coming to Saratoga Springs for the weekend as they did two or three times a year. Patricia was upset that the timeframe of the visit caused a conflict, but she missed her parents. Wesley assured her that it was alright and they would see each other soon enough. He would be busy at The Point with summer drills coming up and preparing for a two week stint in the field. Their next visit was left up in the air.
CHAPTER 7
It was dark when Wesley heard a loud knocking on his dorm room door. “What the hell is it?” he bellowed, half asleep.
“There’s a call for you Fordam. You don’t need to be an asshole ya know!” replied the
faceless voice from the lighted side of the door. Wesley readjusted his boxer shorts and walked to the phone in the hallway, the only phone available for use by cadets in the dorm.
“This if Cadet Fordam.” he stated simply, but directly.
“I need you to get over here, right now Wes!” Joshua whispered, his voice trembling on the other end of the phone.
“Josh? Is that you? Where the hell are you?” The feeling of anger dissipated, making way for one of concern.
Wesley arrived at the darkened motel after rousing another friend to borrow the keys to his car. The drive took fifteen minutes from post as the roads were wet from a late night shower. It was 3:45 in the morning. A breeze whipped through his shortly cropped hair as he exited the car. Cadet Fordam walked to room 106 as instructed and knocked lightly on the door.
“Josh, you in there?” he whispered.
The walkway was poorly lit with every other bulb removed along the first floor terrace. Old leaves from last autumn blew around like lost souls in the wind. After what seemed like minutes the lock unlatched and Wesley heard the soft scratching of the chain being drawn along its holder. Wesley backed away a couple of steps tentatively as the door slowly swung inward. At first no one appeared. The room was dark, only a sliver of light coming from the lone fixture outside the room. The night held an eerie calm and Wesley heard nothing for a few seconds. Suddenly an arm came from inside the room grabbing him with great strength pulling him toward the darkness. Wesley instinctively pulled back but entered the room on his own accordance after seeing his friend, pale and shaking.
“What the fuck is going on here Josh!”
Joshua mumbled more to the darkness than to Wesley as he walked to the corner to the right of the door and cowered. Joshua started rocking on his heals with his arms wrapped around his knees, slamming his back against the plastered wall, causing a cheap version of Vangough’s Scream to sway on its single nail.
“I didn’t mean to do it. It was an accident.” Joshua pleaded.
Wesley quickly took notice of the layout of the room; he could see that everything was pretty much in order. The only light coming from a candle burning in what he assumed was the bathroom.
“Stay there Joshua!” Wesley barked as if speaking to a dog as he crossed the room. He noted some clothes folded neatly on a chair near the bed. When he pushed through the partially closed door to the bathroom his shoe squeaked from water spilled on the linoleum floor. He abruptly stopped after noticing the water and heard a faint sobbing coming from Joshua. Wesley turned to the right and found the light switch lifting it with a quick snap. The room flooded with light and overloaded Wesley`s sense of sight momentarily. After a few seconds Wesley was able to stop squinting and absorbed the horrible sight in the room. Kimberly lay on the floor next to the filled bathtub, naked. She was clearly dead. Wesley moved toward her taking in the sight when the sobbing in the other room changed crying.
“I didn’t mean it. It was an accident.”
Wesley bent onto one knee to get a closer look at Kimberly Johnson. The color of her skin was that of a dark cloudy day, dusky with a ruddy purple quickly enshrouding her lifeless form. He looked at her body starting from her feet working upward. He saw no signs of a struggle. There were no marks on her skin. No cuts, no bruises, no bleeding. Then he looked at her face. Wesley held his breath for a few seconds before letting out a long deep gasp. Kimberly was dead, her face frozen in a state of shock. Her mouth lay agape, her eyes frozen open in fear. She died fighting for air.
As Wesley knelt by the girl’s body he heard Joshua enter the room, still sobbing as his bare feet slapped against the wet floor.
“It was an accident Wes. It was an accident.” he repeated.
Wesley stood to face Joshua. His pant leg was wet from the water on the floor.
“What the hell happened here?” No answer followed. “I asked you what in the hell happened in here Cadet Tanner!” There was a sudden authority in Wesley’s voice that seemed to snap Joshua out of his trance causing him to reflexively straightening his stance. His voice trembled.
“We were having some fun. You know Wes. Like what you saw that night, just playing. Sex stuff, you know?” He replied. “It was an accident Wes. I...I liked her, a lot!” Joshua started to cry again.
“I don’t doubt you, Josh. This is just…” Wesley searched for the words. “It’s just really fucked up! What are you going to do?”
The question stymied Joshua. He hadn’t thought of that. He was still in shock. So much had happened. He didn’t have time to do anything yet.
“I… I don’t know. All I could think was to call you!” he replied.
“Have you done anything else yet? Called anyone? What else have you done?” Wesley questioned. Interrogated.
“No. Nobody else knows. Just you, me, and Kim”. He started crying again.
“Josh, this is going to end your career. You’ll go to jail for this” Wesley stated bluntly. That snapped Joshua back to reality.
“Oh my God! I can’t go to jail Wes. Oh my God! What in the hell can I do?” he begged.”
“I don’t know Josh. This is beyond me. It’s bad.”
A long silence followed. Only the faint, slow dripping from the tub filled the air. Wesley turned back to Kimberly who still lay on the floor in the same spot she was found. He leaned over her dead body.
“Don’t touch her!” Joshua snapped. Wesley grabbed a clear plastic bag that half floated in the warm water. He stood and looked directly at Joshua.
“What’s this Josh? Is this how she died? You fucking idiot!”
Josh took a step back and held his hands in front of him as if saying “Wait one damn minute!”
“I saw you holding a bag that night in Ballston Spa, Josh. What were you doing?” he yelled. “Did you use this that night too?” Wesley pushed the bag at Joshua’s chest forcing him to take it.
“No. We didn’t get that far. You guys came in just after she told me to get it out from under the kitchen sink.” As Josh spoke, Wesley looked at the bag, really looked at the bag for the first time. It was a clear garbage bag.
“I’m telling you the truth Wes!” This was Kim’s idea. She wanted to try it. It was her idea!” Wesley looked down again at Kimberly’s naked body. It was mostly dry now.
“You fucked up bad Josh. I don’t know how to fix this. Jesus Christ! What were you two thinking?” He seemed to ask Kimberly.
“You’re sure nobody else knows anything? Who answered the phone at the barracks?” asked Wesley trying to put a face to the voice that woke him so abruptly.
“It was Roberts. Cadet Roberts.” Joshua stated. “I don’t think I said anything to him. I just asked him to go get you.”
Cadet Roberts’ room was almost directly across from the hallway phone. It was logical that he’d be the one to answer the phone. It was the worst room in the barracks Wesley thought to himself.
“You’re sure you didn’t tell him anything?”
“Yeah, I’m sure. I probably sounded bad though. I was scared! I’m still scarred!” Joshua proclaimed. “All he said was that it was late and to hold on. The phone was quiet until you picked it up. I’m sure of that, Wes. What are we going to do?” asked Joshua, shaking violently.
“We? We? What in the hell does this have to do with me, Joshua?” Wesley asked as he sat on the toilet seat holding his face in his hands, the veins on his forehead protruding.
“You have to help me with this, Wes. It was an accident!” Josh seemed to yell the word accident as if trying to prove a point.
The two Cadets sat quietly for what seemed to be five minutes or so while Wesley collected his thoughts.
“You’re sure you didn’t say anything to Roberts? Did you give him your name?” questioned Wesley. He seemed to be gathering his strength. Gaining hold of his faculties “Whose name is the room under?” he asked. Joshua gave him a questioning look that Wesley could only interpret as confusion. “Was the room under your name, Josh?”
“No. No, it was under Kim’s name. She came down here Friday morning. I wasn’t expecting her to get here until sometime in the afternoon but she said she took an earlier train. She’d had Friday off and wanted to surprise me. I’d told her what motel we were going to stay at but I hadn’t made a reservation yet. She got the room when she got here, under her own name.”
With his revelation Joshua seemed to lighten a bit. He even smiled, although meekly.
Seeing this Wesley stood grabbing Cadet Tanner with one hand. With force he shoved Joshua into the wall beside the door, driving his open hand around his friend’s throat.
“Listen you little fuck! You just killed Kimberly! You think this is funny? You’re fucked and you don’t even know it.” Wesley`s cold eyes boring through Joshua.
“Listen man, I know what’s going on here. I know I’m fucked. But maybe something can be done here.” Wesley gave his friend a perplexed look.
“What in the hell are you saying Josh? Are you telling me this isn’t your doing?” anger welled in Wesley’s voice. “We are all responsible for our actions, Joshua.”
“Calm down Wes. All I’m saying is that there may be a way out of this.” Joshua rebutted.
“You killed her you asshole. You think you can change that? What are you saying?”
“All I’m saying is that nobody knows I‘m here, only you Wes. No one else knows!” With this, Wesley left the bathroom and sat on the chair next to the bed. He’d had to move the clothes that had been placed there, neatly folded clothes. Kimberly’s clothes. Wesley sat there for quite a while, looking down at the clothes in his hands. Joshua sat on the toilet allowing his best friend to gather his thoughts. There was only that damned dripping from the bathtub, which seemed to grow louder and louder with every passing drop.
“Get the rest of your clothes on asshole” Wesley ordered. Josh, startled from the break in the quiet went to gather his clothes that had been dropped next to the bed on the bathroom side floor. He dressed quietly. He had to remove his boxer shorts that were now cold and wet from pulling Kimberly out of her watery grave. After dressing, he shoved his damp shorts into the front pocket of his trousers. He then sat silently on the edge of the bed. The whole time Wesley sat in silence, holding Kimberly’s clothes neatly folded in his hands. Unsure of what consequences his next statement may hold.
“Wait in the car, Josh. I’ll be out in a few minutes.”
Joshua gave him a perplexed look.
“Just do it!” ordered Wesley, his nostrils flaring. Cadet Tanner followed his instructions. Once Wesley was alone in the room he slowly stood and replaced Kimberly’s clothes just the way he’d found them on the bedside chair. He took a few deep breaths then went back into the bathroom.
Thirty minutes later Cadet Wesley James Fordam joined his best friend of three years in the car outside room 106. He turned the key in the ignition and pulled out of the motel parking lot as if nothing had happened. It was still dark with only the slightest sign of the upcoming sunrise. The two drove to the barracks in total silence.
CHAPTER 8
Wesley pulled into the barracks parking lot at close to 0645 hours. The sun was beginning to show. The mood in the vehicle was somber. He turned the car off and sat for about a minute rubbing the car keys between his right thumb and forefinger. Joshua said nothing. He just looked out the front windshield, watching the sunrise.
“Did you have sex with Kim? Tonight, I mean. Did you two have sex yet?” Wesley asked as if trying to work through a problem in his head.
“No, we didn’t get that far.” Joshua said soberly. “Kim liked a lot of foreplay before sex”
“Why the plastic bag over her head? I don’t understand. You need to tell me exactly what happened and in its exact order. There’s only one way this can happen.” Wesley finished. Joshua paused for a minute, tears welling in his eyes as he began to speak.
“She called me before she left the Saratoga train station. It was about 0730. She called me at the barracks saying that she couldn’t wait for her later train and was leaving on the 0800 train. We had planned on her coming in later. I can’t remember the time of the train but it was around dinner.” Joshua started sobbing quietly again.
“Josh you have to hold it together. This is important.”
“She told me that she would get a room at the motel I’d told her about and I could meet her there as soon as I could break free.” he continued. “My last class got out at 1300 hours so I high tailed it to my room to gather my rucksack and change out of my uniform. I took a cab to the motel and checked what room she was in with the front desk.”
Wesley gave him a stern look. “How many people saw you in the front desk? Where did the cab pick you up? These are all things you have to remember.” Joshua lowered his head in contemplation then resumed.
“I had the cab pick me up off post at the bank. I needed to get some cash out first. Then at the motel there was only one person there, an older woman.” Joshua said as his eyes opened a little wider as if he remembered something important. “The old lady mentioned that Kimberly had told her she was here to meet with her family. That had struck me as odd at first but then it made sense to me. She probably felt a little strange meeting a man. She’d lied to cover that!” Joshua exclaimed.
“So far we have a cabbie that picked you up at the bank off post and an old woman that saw your face but was told you were family.” Wesley stopped himself, unsure. “We have no idea but I’d bet my paycheck that she didn’t believe Kimberly, especially when a young military guy showed up.” Wesley`s eyes shifted as if in mid thought. “She might be our biggest problem. Did anyone else see you go there? Did you tell anyone that you were meeting her this weekend?”
“No. No. I don’t think I told anyone else. I was too busy this week. You know. It was a busy week with classes and tests.” Cadet Fordam nodded at that in appreciation. Joshua continued, “I didn’t see anyone else as I went to the room. It was desolate. Mid- afternoon, you know? Most people don’t hang out at a motel during the day.” He paused then continued, “She did use her own name. I just asked and got the room number. I didn’t have to sign anything and she didn’t give me my own key or anything.” he finished. For the first time Wesley could see an immaturity in Joshua that he never before noticed.
“I got to the room and we hung out for a while. We watched some TV, ordered some food…pizza from somewhere close by. They delivered it to the room.”
“Who answered the door? Who paid the delivery guy?” Wesley was shouting out questions as he thought out loud.
“Well, I was in the shower and I told Kim that there was cash in my wallet on the table. She answered the door and paid with my cash.” Joshua concluded.
Wesley sat in silence. This wasn’t him. He didn’t think like this. He didn’t have the mind for this. He was raised to be honest. Joshua tried to interrupt the silence but Wesley waved him off as if to say “Hold on…I’m thinking”. Wesley was scared. He wasn’t sure how this would turn out. He started to doubt his course of action. He started to doubt whether or not what he did in the room would hold water. He started thinking that he may go to jail as well as his friend. Wesley realized that tonight`s actions would change him forever. “What about Patricia?” He looked at his friend.
“I don’t know for sure. I think Kim was going to tell her she was going home for the weekend, but I’m not sure.” Joshua said honestly.
“Go get some sleep. Or try to. I’ll come around in a couple of hours and we’ll talk some more.” he hesitated. “Try to act normal.” He concluded, shaking his head in thought “We’re so fucked.”
CHAPTER 9
“Hello? Can you please get Cadet Fordam for me?”
“Yes ma`am, hold one minute.” replied Cadet Roberts. It took about three minutes for Wesley to get to the phone.
“This is Cadet Fordam.”
“Oh Wes, thank God! I’ve missed you.”
“I’ve missed you too, Patricia.” Wesley replied.
“I don’t know what to do, Wes, Kim hasn’t come home yet. She was supposed to be home two days ago. She was supposed to be at work, too!”
“Where did she go again?” asked Wesley as if forgetting what he’d been told only a few days ago.
“Her parent’s house in South Hampton” replied Patricia matter-of-factly. “She was supposed to get back here Sunday evening. I went to meet her at the Rail Station but she never showed. It was the last train for the day so I went home thinking she’d missed her train or something. I thought she’d show up to work late on Monday. I had to be at work so I couldn’t meet her at the station. I think the first train due in was around 11 am. But she never showed.” Wesley could sense the fear in Patricia’s voice.
“Did you call her parents’ house? Was she still there?” asked Wesley finding it easy to sound sincere. He’d dreaded this moment for three days now. Thinking and rethinking how he should let it play out. He was covering for his friend. He was covering up a murder. Wesley’s head still spun when he thought of it. Which, it seemed was all the time.
“Yes, of course I did.” She rebutted. Wesley could sense the tension in her voice escalating. “They told me they knew nothing of her visiting them for the weekend. They’re on their way up here as we speak.” Patricia stated almost in tears.
“Try to stay calm Patricia.” Wesley responded. “There has to be a mistake, a misunderstanding?” he was finding it easier than he thought it would be to lie to the girl he loved.
“Misunderstanding? Wes, what are you saying? That I heard her wrong?” replied Patricia with a growing anger in her voice.
“Calm down.” Wesley countered. “What I mean is that there has to be a simple answer. “She told me that since my parents were coming up this weekend, she wanted to give us
time to visit. She said that she’d call her parents to see if they were going to be home so she could spend a couple of days in the Hamptons.” There was a short pause then she started back in on her oration. “She said that they didn’t answer but that she’d take the train home anyhow. Catch up with some old friends.” another pause “or something like that. Oh, I’m not sure right now! I didn’t think much of it at the time, Wesley. My parents were getting here that the next morning and I was cleaning the apartment and stuff like that. I didn’t pay much attention. I’m sorry, Wes. It’s not like she was acting strange or anything. She’d taken the train lots of times to her parents’. I didn’t think twice about it.” She started to sob, softly; as if she knew somewhere deep down that she was somehow at fault.