Faith Guided Leadership
Are you the leader that
God wants you to be?
Thomas A. Mayberry
Copyright 2011 by Thomas A. Mayberry
Smashwords edition
ISBN: 978-1-4661-8376-6
Smashwords
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The stories depicted in this book are a reflection of the people involved at that time and how they reacted to specific situations. This is not necessarily a representation of their overall leadership ability. Their actions do not necessarily represent the views and policies of their employers.
DEDICATION
To my wife, Cindy, whom I have been blessed
with 23 years of marriage.
To my sons, Kody and Hunter. I pray that you never lose touch of what is truly important in life.
Contents
Acknowledgments
Introduction
Chapter One:
Managing or Leading
Chapter Two
Qualities of a Strong Leader
Chapter Three
What Defines Your Leadership Style
Chapter Four
How does having God in the center of
your life influence your style?
Chapter Five
Creating a Stress Free Work Environment
Chapter Six
Getting the Best out of Your Team
Chapter Seven
Reward, Recognition and Respect
Chapter Eight
Respect – The Starting Point
Chapter Nine
It Starts with You
Chapter Ten
Stay Grounded in Your Faith
Application in Your Life
ACKNOWLEDGMENTS
Thank you to my administrative staff for being an inspiration to me to become a better leader. You have shown how well a team can perform when they all work toward the same vision. I am so proud of you.
Thank you to my co-workers for putting up with my continual question lately, “What do you think about this for my book?” and for giving me feedback and confidence.
Thank you to Stephanie Keller for hours of editing work for the book.
Thank you to my parents for “raising me right.” You have seen my struggles in life, but you have always supported me with unconditional love. It means a lot.
Introduction
I
t was December 1981 and I was ready to take on the business world. I received my bachelor’s degree in business management and was ready for my first challenge. I was broke, but owed little in student loans. The grocery store that I worked at since I was 16 needed an assistant manager. I was offered the position and took it. I soon learned that in a small town with a privately owned store, there would be no room for advancement. I had much bigger plans. I moved back to the college town, where I went to school, and looked for another job. I got into the pizza business and started chasing that corporate carrot. It did not matter what I needed to do. I was determined to excel in the business world. I was going to move up the corporate ladder rapidly. If my supervisor wanted me to move to another state to get ahead, I did. I had completed the six month training program. I started as a manager in training for $3.45 per hour. That was 10¢ more than minimum wage. So after six months, I was extremely eager to manage my first store. The area supervisor stopped by the store on a Tuesday and I reminded him that I was trained and ready for a promotion. I was living in Colorado at the time. He asked me what I thought about Kansas. I told him that Kansas was not a bad state. He asked me if I would be interested in running a store in Leavenworth, Kansas. I definitely was interested. He replied that I needed to pack my bags because they needed me to start that weekend. The way to get promoted with that company was to excel in the store that you were in and get transferred to a higher volume store. A manager got a percentage of the profits of the store as a bonus. That was a huge incentive to push harder. Many times, this involved moving with little notice. It was not unusual to get the call on Tuesday night and have to be in the new city ready to start work by Saturday night. This included the time to pack boxes, load the rental truck, drive to another state, find a place to live and unload. Needless to say, there were many boxes that moved around with me and never got unpacked.
This became my definition of success. I did not worry about what lives were affected along the way. I married in the fall of 1982. My wife, at the time, was trying to start her career path after graduating from college. When I got the call about my first promotion from being a manager in training to running my first store, I was excited and ready to move. The move was from Colorado to Kansas and I had less than a week to move my things and get started in the new position. I do not remember asking her what her thoughts were about moving. Actually, I do not think that I cared. I just assumed that she would be a “good wife” and move with her husband. That was my first real lesson in marriage. I failed that lesson. Three moves later including a move to two different cities in Texas, I had failed more times. I still did not learn after we divorced in 1985. I was hard nosed, cut throat and did not care much about who I possibly hurt along the way to get to the top. I had turnover problems with my staff since I did not tolerate poor performance out of anyone. I had no patience. I was not forgiving. There was no such thing as a second chance. I was determined to be the best manager that I could. I would read a lot of management books and observed the way my supervisors managed me. I attended many seminars, read books on anything related to managing people and kept trying to picture myself up in front of a group and teaching people how to be better leaders. Remember, I was going to be the best. I eventually became a certified trainer of all of the corporate management classes. I had a vision/goal in my late 20’s to write a book and be a motivational speaker. I felt that my management style was successful and others could benefit from my talents. I was arrogant at the time. I was like a troubleshooter for the company. I could take over a problem account and in a short amount of time I would have it running smoothly and making the profits that my supervisors expected out of it. I finally got tired of transferring from one store to another and fixing it. I wanted to be promoted to area supervisor. It was not happening quickly enough. I would try to apply a lot of the principles that I had read about management. I have tried to copy many of the styles of the managers that I worked for. I kept asking myself “Why am I not getting promoted?”
I ended up setting up an appointment with a franchise owner with six stores in another part of Texas. I spent about an hour convincing him that it was in his best interest to have an area supervisor. It took me about an hour to convince him that I was the person to hire for the newly created position. It was in this new town that I met my second wife. As you can see, I was still on the path of career over marriage. I married Cindy in 1988 and was still chasing the dream of getting to the top of a corporation. I always put my career before my family. I justified it by telling myself that I was just being a better provider. I still had six more moves from state to state before we settled down in Tennessee. I did not take time off when my sons were born. I have major regrets from being that selfish, but I can not rewrite history. I was not a good husband and father at the time and wish I could change that. Our oldest son, Kody was born in Texas and our youngest, Hunter, was born in Michigan. I continued to change positions and move around the country, dragging my wife and kids with me. I was unaware of the level of stress I was putting on my relationship with my family at that time. It was not until I was close to losing another marriage that I realized where my priorities should be. When we moved to Tennessee and my oldest child was in kindergarten, we stopped moving. I can not thank Cindy enough for raising two small boys alone while I worked in Tennessee for 3 months before moving them here. They were still in Colorado and I was going through a 10 week training program in Nashville. I knew when I completed it I would be relocated to somewhere in a five state region. It was another selfish move on my part. She gave me a wake up call when we moved here. With her influence, I decided that there were more important things in life than work. I switched companies one more time to get a Monday through Friday, mostly day shift position. I started spending more quality time with my family. I attended baseball and football practices and games. We joined a family bowling league. We also started going to church on a regular basis. I started to see a change in my life.
The same approach showed throughout my leadership style. As the years went by, I kept that vision of writing a book and being a motivational speaker, but developed my leadership style into what it is today.
My management style has developed and changed over the years. I am no longer the aggressive manager that I was at the start of my career. The teams that I am in charge of now are so much stronger than I have ever had in the past. My approach to leadership has influenced the strength of my teams. I look back at the teams that I had in my early years of management and feel now that there probably was not much of a team in actuality. It was centered on them serving me. They were there to make me more money. They supported my goal of getting bigger bonus checks and the next promotion. I can see now that the family relationships at home were the same kind of relationships I had with my co-workers. I treated them poorly as well.
I did not realize until recently that my current style of management could be contributed to my faith in God. I have always been a religious person. I just do not think that I had given God enough credit for what has taken place in my life. I do not believe in coincidences. I think that everything happens for a purpose. God has control of my life, even when I do not realize it. I look back at my life and the different situations that I was put into. I look back at the good managers that I worked for and the bad managers. This was training that God was giving me throughout my life. My faith was developing along the way. When I started applying some of these religious principles, I started to notice a big impact on people around me.
Throughout my career, I have lived in different parts of the country. I have worked for many managers with very diverse ways of managing people. I do not believe that the way they manage people had anything to do with the area of the country that they work in. I think that it had more to do with how they were trained and the managers that they had worked for in the past. We learn from the people around us. When you are a manager, you influence so many people. You do not realize the different areas that your staff looks up to you. You are their role model. Can you say that you have been a good role model or a bad one? The way that we have been managed influences the way that we are going to manage people. If we are brought up in the strict environment, we will probably develop a strict environment for the people that work for us. If you are fortunate to have had a strong leader, which really cared for their team, as the first manager that you worked for, you saw firsthand the results from that type of leadership. Hopefully you had many years to develop under that manager. Sometime along the way, you will probably have the other type of experience. There are managers that are self centered. They run their team like a dictatorship. If you work for both types, you can compare the results of the two and see the difference in how the employees reacted.
I struggled at times to be my own type of manager in environments where my supervisor had a different approach that I believe was right. I was always struggling to fit in. I would go against my beliefs just to get ahead. After a while, I had had enough. I have left companies because my immediate supervisor’s style did not fit my values in life. Most of the time, people do not leave companies because of their feelings toward the company. They typically leave companies because of their attitude toward their manager. In a couple of cases, I believed as if I was a failure because I did not get all of the promotions I wanted. Now I realize that I was the one succeeding because I did not have to compromise my standards. I now feel comfortable managing people with my philosophy and not worrying about how the rest of the management around me is treating their teams. I know that I can develop a strong team with my values. I can still have the same standards the other management have, but just with a different approach. Throughout this book I am going to talk about my approach to leadership. As you can see, I was not a good leader, in God’s eyes for many years. It took me close to ruining two marriages and many job changes to figure out that God had plans for me. I will show you that you can be true to yourself and your beliefs.
The qualities of a good leader can be traced to the Bible. I have read many leadership books over the years. Until now, I did not realize that the most powerful leadership book in print was the Bible. The qualities of a strong leader are the same qualities that give us strong relationships. God has taught us everything we need to know about leading people, but we just have to listen to Him and follow His lead. We will explore these teachings along the way.
Chapter One
Managing or Leading
Being a good manager is not the same as being a good leader. A good manager can implement systems and keep control of these systems. That does not necessarily mean that they are a good leader. Typically, managers will have been hired to fill a management position that has been in place for a while. The systems have been in place at that company and there is no reason for major changes. Sure, there are some areas that they may adjust some of the operational procedures, but for the most part, they continue what the previous manager had started.
I have worked for people that knew that systems/policies were in place for years and would not even think about changing them. I would ask them if they thought that certain policies were fair when carried out. They would respond as though they did not agree with some of them but it was their job to follow the rules. Do not question what has been in place for some time. They are determined to enforce the policies no matter what. They take the “it’s my way or the highway” approach. There is no thinking outside the box. The procedures are adequate and there is no discussion as to changing them. They will not question the system. Even though their own personal beliefs tell them that something is wrong, they will not stand up for it. Many companies like this type of manager. They do not stir up any trouble. They will do whatever they are told without giving it any thought. I believe that if you see something that is not fair in a system, that you should question it. I do not mean launch a major protest against the corporation. You may be pointing out a flaw in the system that the people that established the rules never thought about.
Some companies want to have “yes sir” people working for them. No matter what their supervisor wants, they say “yes sir.” This person might be considered a strong manager for a corporation because of that attitude. They play the corporate politics. If you are friends with all of the management above you and do everything that they ask of you without questioning, they will promote you. When you look at it from the team’s perspective though, you do not get the same opinion. The team takes the approach that they are working for their supervisor. A true leader is working for their team. They want to be there for their team and provide everything possible for their team to be successful. That is how they define being successful. The manager tends to be just the opposite. They want their team to be there for them in all situations and provide everything possible for them to be successful. You see this all the time with managers that are hard to work for. They have a lot of personnel turnover. They realize that this is just part of doing business and as long as they are making the money that is needed out of their department, they are fine with that. All they are focused on are profits. They may have a profitable department. Are they a good leader? Are they successful? Is this your definition of success or have they possibly limited their amount of success and profits because of the systems that they have in place? They may be considered a good manager. Could a strong leader, though, have even better results? Can having a strong team create even more profitability?
A good leader is someone who people will respect and follow. They trust in that person enough to go that extra mile because they feel like the leader truly cares about their well-being. The leader is going to take care of their needs. The leader will take care of their people. It can be compared to references in the Bible about shepherds watching over their flocks.
Ezekial 34:12 (English Standard Version)
As a shepherd seeks out his flock when he is among his sheep that have been scattered, so will I seek out my sheep, and I will rescue them from all places where they have been scattered on a day of clouds and thick darkness.
We are directed to look after our flock. We will keep them secure and together. The leader is also going to take care of them and treat them with respect.
Does this mean that a leader let’s his team do whatever they want to? By no means does it mean that. The leader has to set the expected standards and uphold them, but not just with a “because I am the boss” approach. They just need to give their team everything that they need to be successful. They need to be fair in how they uphold the standards. You can be very strict and also be fair. It takes some effort and awareness on your part. To have the most success possible, you need to be strong as a leader and a manager. You need to have both of those talents. You need to be able to manage the systems and procedures. I believe that you need to add the more personal touch that a strong leader has.
Managing people tends to be focused on results. It is geared around specific goals and expectations. Many times the manager takes the “I am the boss, that's why” approach. Managing is taking certain processes and procedures in your business and enforcing them. Typically it is procedures that higher management has dictated. Your team has no say in what they do. Everything is already mapped out for them. They might have great ideas on how to improve the business, but are never asked. I look at managing as being somewhat one sided. The manager is always giving instruction. They’re always directing traffic. One of their main tasks is to keep order in the business. Leadership is more of a two way street. You are still in charge but interacting with the team and getting their input. The team has a say in the way that they achieve the desired end result.
Most good managers are task oriented. They know what needs to be done and they are going to insure that it gets done. Sometime they are very hands off when it comes to their group and what needs to be accomplished. They give direction and then sit back and expect it to get done. This works pretty well if you have a strong team that has been around for awhile. Then there are the micromanagers. They are more of an autocrat and have the power to make things happen. They do not hesitate to use this power. The micromanager will leave nothing to chance. They will watch over every aspect of the job and allow very little if any input from the team. There are times and places where this is needed. There is no room for error on the part of the team and there can be no deviance from the plan. How can we take that next step and improve on our management skills to become a strong leader as well?
Leadership is people oriented and purpose driven. They become a trainer and coach. They are the cheerleader for the team. Team builder is a key to success. This leads to an enhanced team effort and quality results. You focus on the people that you are working with. They are the ones that make you successful. You need to develop them to their fullest potential. You need to develop a team and acknowledge that it is a team effort. The emphasis has to be on the team. Everyone has their role to play. Not everyone has the same talents. Everyone contributes to the team effort in their own way. While I was writing this book, I was bouncing ideas off of coworkers and the subject came up about how different people approach the same situations in their careers. The topic of where to position your staff to accomplish your goals has a major impact. You need to figure out the individual talents of the people that you work with. At that point you need to assign the tasks that are needed to be done to the best people for the job. It centers on your vision. What do I mean by your vision? Take a look at your goals from a different perspective. Take a bird’s eye view of what you want to accomplish. This is what I would consider as your vision. Step back away from the team enough to see the big picture. You need to see and understand the flow of the projects. Where can they be improved? What are the stumbling blocks? It may not be that a person is wrong for the team. They just need to be repositioned to an area where they have stronger talents. I compare it to a chess game. Both players have the exact same set of game pieces. It is what they do with them that wins or loses the game. My oldest brother Mike used to whip me in chess while we were growing up. For some reason he always could position his pieces through out the game, short as they were, to beat me. He did not have any special pieces but knew how they interacted and could see into the future where he needed to move them to execute his plan. We should take that same approach as a leader. Why are we so quick to say that we do not have good talent working for us? “Why does the competition have such better people working for them?” We get too quick in wanting to turn over our staff and start fresh. We need to look at each of their individual talents and see where they can help the team succeed. In many cases, we have failed to lead them properly. We have not utilized their potential or placed them in the right position to enhance the team’s performance. I have made moves with my staff that completely changed up their job description and approach to the business. Later on, they saw where I was going with the move and realized that they were much better off than on the path that they were on before. Take ownership in your team and do your best to enable them to reach their potential.
This is the area that your leadership skills must kick in. Your communication skills must step up to the next level. The interaction with your team and the feedback that they provide can take these managed systems to a greater team effort. You will need to develop a long term goal. This is your vision for the future. I always have believed that the further you are up the ladder in an organization, the further out that your thinking should be. You should have longer range planning. You will not attain your long-term goals over night so you must set yourself up with some short-term goals. These must be measurable and attainable for your team to be worth going after. These short-term milestones are what keep your team on task toward the end goal that you had in mind.
Habakkuk 2:2 (English Standard Version)
And the LORD answered me: "Write the vision; make it plain on tablets, so he may run who reads it.
Teach your team what your vision is. You have to have a true conviction to accomplish this. You have to be an inspiration to your followers. They can help develop the strategies to get there. Sure, you can get them started on that path. If they do not truly understand and support your vision, you do not have a team effort toward reaching your goals. What is part of the reason that you hire such a strong staff? I would assume that part of this is their intelligence. Why do some managers not want to tap into this valuable resource? Once your team has bought into your vision, they can probably give you the insight as to numerous ways that you can get to that same result. Sometimes, you will make your company more money. In other cases, it might make your company a safer company to work for. I will give you an example later on how this enhanced my overall customer service at a store that I worked at.
I have always taken the approach that those working the front line have a better working knowledge of how to do the job better than I do. They are the ones that do it day after day. They will know how to be more efficient. They know what is needed to make the job safer. All you need to do is ask them. Think outside the box. Just because it is always been done one way does not mean that it always has to be done that way. Your team has a wealth of knowledge. You need to learn how to use it. This is a huge motivator. When your team has input into your systems and procedures they end up with total buy in. It is now their vision, not just yours. They will put more effort into programs that they have put into place than those that were just given to them.
Although leadership is often associated with people in management positions, note that the two are not necessarily synonymous. A manager is someone who plans and administers a group’s activities. Managers often focus on the bottom line of an organization, relying on control to accomplish their goals. In comparison, a leader is someone who is confident enough to take a different approach. They think outside the box and are thinking more long-term. They are not thinking about just short term results. They are in it for the long haul and approach their team this way. Effective leaders focus on building strong relationships with others and maintain their positions by inspiring trust and confidence in other members of the group. This takes time. It does not happen overnight.
These attributes of a strong leader are what helps build relationships with people. These strong relationships, if channeled right, turn into a strong team. The performance of the team in achieving the goals is reflective of the type of leader that is in the center of the team. Notice that I said center of the team, not in charge of the team. It is crucial that you’re part of the team. You must be willing to jump in and work side by side with them. That is how you develop respect. So as you see, there are management skills that are needed by a strong leader and leadership skills needed to be a strong manager.
I told you earlier how I started my career. I wanted to be a successful manager. I needed that control and the feeling of being in charge. I worked with my employees to a certain extent, but my main focus was they were there to take care of my needs. The needs of the business always outweighed the needs of the individuals. I always made money for the company. I always pushed the limits of what we could do. Too often it was at the expense of employees. It took me awhile to figure out how much better I could be, if I concentrated on been a strong leader instead of being just a strong manager.
Chapter Two
Qualities of a
Strong Leader
You can not take this guidance from The Lord lightly. As a leader of a group or organization, you affect many components and lives. God wants us to become strong leaders and to do so require the right approach. It all comes down to how we treat people. The Bible teaches us these principles in a wide variety of situations.
Romans 12:8 (New Living Translation)
. . . . If God has given you leadership ability, take the responsibility seriously. . . . .
I have seen patterns in the biblical teachings that I have read. They are scattered throughout the Old and New Testament. As you go through this book, I will go into more detail about the different expectations of how we can be a better leader. Here are the qualities that every leader should have.
Be a Good Listener
Be Responsive
Be Respectful
Show Compassion
Be Understanding
Empower Your Team
Be Trustworthy
What is God really telling us to do? Sometimes when we read Bible verses, it is very easy to comprehend exactly what God wants from us. In other cases we have to translate it into our own lives. There are many things that are different about the world now as compared to when Jesus walked the earth. The way that you treat people the right way should be the same no matter when the time. So much of being a strong leader is how you interact with others. How does He want us to approach this leadership role that we have taken on? When I read the Bible, these are the traits that I see that are preferred by God. Let us look at these a little closer and find their roots in the Bible.
BE A GOOD LISTENER
Have you ever been talking to someone and they got so passionate about what they were talking about that it comes off pretty rude? They are so emotional about what they called you about on the phone that they hardly let you speak. Shortly after the conversation starts you close off your mind to what they are saying and form an opinion about the subject without really hearing their side of the story? How can you begin to relate to what they are saying if you are blocking them out? Sometimes they realize that you are blocking them out and that gets them upset. At that point the conversation really goes down hill.
Your friends will generally forget about that awkward conversation quickly. Your team members may not. If they are passionate about something and bring it to your attention, it deserves your undivided attention. You need to concentrate on what they are saying. Listen for what point they are trying to get across and not just how they are saying it. Listen for things like frustration, road blocks, struggles, etc., that are preventing them from being successful. If you listen closely enough, you can start to help them out. They may just need some assistance from a coworker but did not realize that the help they needed was right in front of them.
I worked for a manager once that got so frustrated with a coworker because of the way she would vent frustrations. He would want her to just get things done and quit complaining. He did not want to “deal” with her. There was no patience or tolerance of this behavior. When I listened to her, I filtered out the words of frustration. I did not listen to how she said it, but why she had that frustration. In one situation she was lacking some tools of the job to be able to complete the task. Her raised voice and not so eloquent language was hiding the truth. It took an extra effort of listening, including the unspoken words, to figure out the reason for the conversation.
There were things that she needed help with to be able to complete the tasks required of her. Her sense of pride did not let her ask for help. People tend to try to do it all themselves. They are too proud to ask for help. Here is an example from the Bible. Jesus is the Son of God. He is all powerful and all knowing. How could he possibly learn from someone else? As you can see in the scripture, He takes more of a humble approach to listening and learning. In turn, He could teach them along the way.
Luke 2:45-47 (NIV)
45When they did not find him, they went back to Jerusalem to look for him. 46After three days they found him in the temple courts, sitting among the teachers, listening to them and asking them questions. 47Everyone who heard him was amazed at his understanding and his answers.
Jesus showed the importance of listening. This text talks about when Jesus was twelve years old. He slipped away from Mary and Joseph and went to the temple. He took the approach of a young boy with a lot of questions. Being the Son of God, He had the power to be the leader of all people. What this shows is that we have to grow to become true leaders. You do not just become a strong leader in a short amount of time. Part of the way that we grow is to listen to others. We need to absorb their wealth of knowledge. He was “taking it all in”, so to speak. Twenty years later, when He was the Teacher, it showed that He had grown into being a true leader. Too often we feel as if we know it all and do not listen to what our coworkers are saying. Our arrogance blocks out a powerful gift from our team. They have so much knowledge that we could tap into. We can not only learn from others, but also build on our relationships with them by truly listening to what they have to say. We gain a few things by talking to our team and asking for their opinions. We will gain knowledge about the subjects through their point of view. This gives us insights as to how we may need to look at policies and procedures. We could possibly learn how to make our processes more efficient. One of the biggest values in doing this is the respect that shows your team. This respect goes a long way toward building a new relationship. I will go into the topic of respect in much more detail later in the book.
Too often we just take our listening skills for granted. Hearing we can somewhat take for granted. It is a natural ability. Truly listening to someone is more of an acquired skill. There are so many aspects that we do not pay attention to in our regular conversations. When someone speaks to you, they’re not just saying words. They are communicating with the spoken words, nonverbal cues and their emotions. You need to be able to understand all of these and be able to process what they mean. Can you relate to what they’re saying? Can you empathize with what they’re feeling? When we listen to somebody, we do not just hear what they’re saying. We normally hear background noises as well. Are they a distraction? Can we give that person our undivided attention? No two people think exactly the same way. That is why sometimes it is hard for people to understand what we’re saying to them.
A perfect example of this is men and women. The way men think is completely different than the way women think. Sometimes this difference drives us crazy. You may think that you have the other sex figured out, but then you’re thrown for a loop. What happens is that you make assumptions to what the other person is trying to communicate. You already have your next thought planned out. That is what gets men into trouble with their wives at times. They just “do not get it.” What they think is “no big deal” turns out is extremely important to their spouse. When they say that they do not really want anything for their birthday, you may need to think it through. I have had my share of “misunderstandings” with women over the years. I now know that I will never figure them out.
When you do not take the time to truly understand what the other person he is saying and feeling they feel that you do not respect them. If you are unsure as to what they’re saying or feeling, then ask them. You may paraphrase what they just said to see if that’s what they meant. Or you can ask them to rephrase what they just said because you don’t truly understand them. Do not abruptly change the subject. By doing that it looks like you’re not listening what they were saying. It looks like you were already thinking about the next thing that you want to talk about and not listening to what they are saying. A big part of being a good listener is about being respectful.
BE RESPONSIVE
Now that you have listened to what they have to say, what do we need to do next? How are you going to respond to what they had to say? Did the person need to have you take some action? Sometimes they do not specifically tell you that they needed to do something. You have to understand what they’re saying and the perceptive to their needs. They may have shown a concern about a particular area of the job. They may need some help or need some follow-up on how to do something. If they have basically called you to action, then you need to act. That will show how trustworthy you are. If you just ignore their requests, how does that make them feel?
Be careful how you respond. I’m sure that you have seen many approaches to how managers respond to their teams. Think back about some of the people that you’ve worked for. I am sure that you have seen many types of styles. Do they even take the time to respond to their team when asked a question? Do they give an honest response to the question asked? Do they come across as being irritated because of even being asked the question? People take many approaches to how they respond to people. Is there a right way and a wrong way? Let us let the Bible give us some insight.
Proverbs 15:1 (New Living Translation)
A gentle answer turns away wrath, but a harsh word stirs up anger
This talks about the way we answer people. God does not always give us the answers that we want to hear. He does, however, give us an answer. Do not tell someone that you will get back to them and then hope that they will forget about it. Tell them “no, I can not provide this at this time”, if that is all that is possible. Be sympathetic to their struggles if you can not provide everything that they want at this time. The key is to be upfront and honest with them enough to give them a response. Sometimes you’re caught off guard or you do not have the answer for somebody at that given point in time. Let them know that. Explain to them, if needed, that you need to do some more research and get back to them. Do not hesitate. Do the research that you need to do and then get back to them with an answer. This also shows respect.
I have seen managers that appeared to take the approach that if they ignored a problem, it would go away. No matter what was brought up regarding it, they would not respond. Phone calls and e-mails would be used to bring it to their attention with no response at all. Phone calls would not be returned. E-mails would go unanswered. Eventually the staff would give up and quit bothering them. In their minds, the problem is now solved. Did the problem go away? In most cases, it got worse. People communicate with one another. If they have frustrations, they will vent to their peers. This could be in the break room over a cup of coffee. It could be while they’re outside smoking a cigarette with somebody from another department. Eventually they will talk to somebody about it. Now, what started out being a simple request or question is beginning to turn into a big issue.
To the manager, on the surface it appeared to work. The problem was no longer discussed in front of them. They no longer get the phone calls or e-mails. On the other hand, the management lost respect and created a much larger problem. All it would have taken was a response. Human nature is to avoid confrontation. We tend to not want to tell someone bad news. Avoidance, though, is not the answer. We need to be willing to take a different approach. Be upfront and honest with your staff. Most of your staff is going to understand that you have a business to run. They’re going to be some things that you just can not afford to give them. An honest approach to them does not cost you anything. You may not always tell them what they want to hear. You have to be the bearer of bad news. It may be that they want you to make an exception to a rule for them. Sometimes it is something that they want that you can not afford to get for them. Rumors get started over different topics all of the time. You may have team members that ask you very direct questions. Sometimes I have to tell my staff “this is a subject that I am not at liberty to discuss.” Your responsiveness is also a sign of your respect for them.
A while back, I needed to meet with an employee about a bonus program that was in place. He had questions about how it worked. After I explained it to him, he proceeded to argue with me over the policy. I sympathized with him based on how he was affected, but had to be willing to defend the company policy. I could not waiver since we had carried out the policy consistently in all cases. In the end, we had to “agree to disagree.” How do you think that he would have responded if I had not taken the time to discuss it further with him? He probably would have had all sorts of negative things to tell his peers regarding the management of the company. It is crucial that you respond to your staff.