Copyright 2010 by Denice Davis. All rights reserved. No part of this book may be used or reproduced in any manner whatsoever; including that of Internet usage without written permission except in the case of brief quotations embodied in critical articles and reviews. For information, address Apothecary Now, Inc., PO Box 575 Pine Island, NY 10969.
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For information please contact:
Apothecary Now Books
PO Box 575
Pine Island, NY 10969.
The first edition of this book has been titled
The R.O.P.E. – A Practical Guide on Responsibilities, Obligations and Practitioner Ethics.
This edition has been modified for the Reiki Practitioner.
Please NOTE: That I have included additional “modalities” in this book as I am aware that many of you have chosen to incorporate different tools in your tool chest.
This book is dedicated to each of you who have accepted the personal responsibility in assisting others on their healing journey.
INTRODUCTION
After six agonizing weeks of unrelenting pain of a migraine headache and the fast deterioration of my energy and immune system, I was discouraged, busted and disgusted. I had gone to a multitude of doctors, some of which were designated specialists in their field. Each and every one of them, although sincere in their approach, had failed to listen to the words of which I spoke and proceeded to misdiagnose and mistreat the ailment that plagued me. With each appointment, my hope for recovery diminished.
Finally, in complete desperation after leaving the neurologists office in tears over his blatant statement: “I am sorry Ms. Davis, I can’t help you - neurologically speaking, there is nothing wrong with you”, I found myself in the parking lot of a health food store (weepy and wounded).
Understand that until this time in my life, the thought of walking into an establishment where tree hugging, granola crunching, and Birkenstock wearing were the norm, seemed as likely as having virtual terminals to communicate did in the days prior to Alexander Graham Bell. You see, I was a corporate businesswoman. I was a shark. Accounting was my field and everything had to prove to the penny. “PROOF” that was my motto. I needed documented proof for everything. So the undocumented “theories” that floated around alternative medicine and the discredit that was forced upon us by the pharmaceutical giants about the effects of natural supplements and herbs was evidence to me that anyone living in the “real world” would never succumb to the “airy fairy” claims made by individuals that ate things that tasted like cardboard.
But now, my time had come to lay down my pride, and set aside my reservations – I was a desperate woman. My life was ending as I knew it, weak and unable to function, discouraged by the inability of my medical confidants to adequately cure my mystery disease. I caught my breath, wiped my tears and took the first step into the abyss.
As I entered the shop, I was convinced that I had made a mistake. There were unusual smells, bottles of substances in which I was unable to verbally pronounce (let alone know what they were for), crystals hanging and statues of unidentifiable creatures and symbols. Then, with a blink, there she was – the flower child, “gypsyfeet”, as my grandmother would say. Just as suspected!!
With a deep hard swallow, I shared my tales of woe with her and pleaded for assistance. Without saying a word, she placed her hand over my naval and began tapping on her own chest. At that moment, I thought for sure she would begin to start chanting to the gods in a foreign tongue – I was beside myself with concern for what I had gotten myself into. Just then, without uttering a single word, she very quietly walked over to the completely chaotic and disorganized corkboard that hung next to the exit door. She stood for a moment, clearly looking for just the right thing, gently lifting several colorful announcements, to ultimately pluck a little white business card off the board. She returned to me, handed me the card and said, “This woman can help you”. WHAT???? I thought to myself. No herbs, no potions, and no hanging crystals over my head at midnight on the night of the full moon?
I glanced down at the card and all it had on it was a woman’s name, phone number and a picture of an angel on it. How bizarre, I thought. I had been in business for a long time and I had never seen anything like this before. What kind of nonsense was this?! For goodness sakes, there should be some indication of a business name or occupation listed - at the very least. Who was this woman? What does she do? I was not a religious person what so ever, so I certainly was not prepared for anyone to tell me that they were going to pray and make it all better for me. But again, I had to remind myself that at this stage, I have got nothing to lose. My doctors were baffled and the medications that had been prescribed just made things worse. With that, I drove the 50 minutes back to my home. Normally, I would not seek out physicians so far from home, but when nothing else is working, you do whatever is necessary. Along the drive, I battled with the concept of going to some unlicensed, who-knows-what kind of practitioner, who was going to advise me that I take some crazy concoction, but in the end -- I knew that I had to make the call.
Once home, I picked up the phone and made the call. Much to my surprise, I got an answering machine. Every doctor I knew had a receptionist, or at the very least an answering service. Someone who could reach the doctor, if a person was in distress. I was in distress!!
Her outgoing message was as nondescript as her business card. I left a message for this person and waited with phone in hand for it to ring. After four long hours of staring at the handset, even yelling at it several times, I felt as though this path to resolution was surely becoming as unsuccessful as the one I had already traveled. Didn’t this woman realize that she was my last hope? Didn’t she hear the desperate tone of my voice in my message? Surely she must realize that if anyone was calling her it was because they had tried virtually everything else first!
Discouraged and frustrated, I decided to try and rest my eyes. With that, the phone rang. I sprung to my feet and ran to answer it. Sure enough, it was the call I was waiting for. The woman was soft spoken, gentle and kind in her introduction. I didn’t want to sit and chat with her - I wanted her to fix me! So, abruptly I chimed in “look, I don’t know who you are or what you do, but if you can help me, I will love you for the rest of my life!” With that we set our appointment.
Upon arrival at the address I had written down, I thought I somehow (in my distress) misunderstood what she had told me. Surely this couldn’t be where I was supposed to be – this was someone’s house! As I pulled in the drive to turn my car around, I saw a woman open the door and wave to me. Could this be??? Sure enough, upon further investigation, I was in fact in the right place. Never before had I ever been to a doctor who didn’t have a “professional” office environment. I was perplexed…and scared!
The woman approached me lovingly and said “You must be Denice” as she wrapped her arms around me to offer a sense of security and welcoming comfort – little did she know that I was mortified!! Who is this woman? And what right does she have to assume she can cross the threshold of my personal space???
With my heart pounding in my chest and my inner voice screaming at me to run as fast as I could, I reluctantly stepped inside her home. She told me to take off my shoes and lay down on the table. It was a massage table. I was familiar with massage, but surely this woman wasn’t going to give me a massage….was she?
With that she began our session. She did some pretty strange things. Maybe strange is a harsh word, so let’s say that she did things that seemed pretty odd to me. She started by tapping her chest the same way “gypsyfeet” at the health food store did, and asked me to do the same. Although skeptical, I had made a commitment to myself to see this thing through. So I began to tap. She told me that she was a Kinesiologist (whatever that meant!)
And that she was reading the energy of the body. I was truly at the end of my line and needed to trust her regardless of my own beliefs.
Although irrelevant to the concepts of this book, for compliancy to the knowledge of natural curiosity I will share her findings.
My Kinesiologist uncovered the fact that I had been exposed to carbon monoxide poisoning. Despite my claims to each and every doctor visited, that I was concerned about the old heating system in my house, they dismissed it and never ordered the necessary blood test that would reveal it. Although after only one visit with her I felt so much better, I needed to be sure. I contacted the gas company who came to the home with meters in hand and measured the levels. Sure enough, documented confirmation had been received. She saved my life!
As a result of her outstanding performance, I continued to see this woman month after month, as often as she would allow. She brought me to the best health of my life. But I will say this…Never once, did she take the time to explain to me what she was doing. Ultimately in my case, it really didn’t matter – I was cured and that was all that I cared about. I used to tell my friends that I was going to see my witch doctor. We all laughed, but all and all, I came to realize that it was this unconventional, outside the FDA regulated, pharmaceutical stipulated, and AMA dictated methodology that saved my life!
I soon thereafter received my certification in Kinesiology and started studying anything that I could get my hands on in relation to this foreign world of which I had just entered. It has been many years since then but my understanding of the business world and the people in it have not been altered. I have watched the evolution of complimentary, alternative or integrative (which ever term you choose) medicine over the past couple of decades and the tremendous growth of natural and organic products in the marketplace. The general public is now increasing their acceptance of these practices and eager to take a greater responsibility in their own healing process. One of my greatest concerns over the years has been the lack of education imposed in the area of practitioner responsibilities and obligations towards clients. I have been exposed to many wonderful “healers”, “therapists” and “practitioners” over the years and am astounded at the lack of ethical practices offered by these amazing individuals. Their talents and skilled expertise avail them to remarkable results for their clients and yet, there seems to be a large gap that needs to be filled in understanding the professional levels of practice needed to give credence to the field in which we have all chosen to work. Many of us have great abilities and incredible knowledge of the work that we do; however, if there is not a clear understanding of the self imposed oaths that we need to take, we continue to run the risk of being generalized into a pool of generics in which the well-known corporate giants can quickly discredit with using one small example of how a person “claiming to be” tarnished the vast majority with a simple act of immorality.
Just as I was that desperate client, many out there who are new to the world of complimentary methods, are in great need of your help and are extremely vulnerable to the statements, advice and methodologies you give. With such, it is your obligation to provide not only the work you have committed and are trained to do, but to do in a manner that will not only give you the reputation for which you deserve, but will elevate the entire network of alternative practices alike.
This book is intended as a practical guide and not a “must do”. Each and every circumstance is unique and requires logical thinking, as such it is intended that you are blessed with the innate knowledge to apply these principals in a manner that congruent with your practice, clients and the laws that are governed in your state.
Chapter 1
RESPONSIBILITY TO SELF
First and foremost you have a responsibility to self. This seems to be one of the greatest deficiencies when it comes to alternative practitioners (mothers fit into this category as well!). Somewhere we have adopted this attitude that when we become caregivers, we must relinquish ourselves to the people that come to us for help and ignore any of the necessities of our own lives. You are equally as important as any of the individuals that may walk through your door. Sometimes we tend to forget that. I am here to tell you that as the old saying goes… “If momma ain’t happy, ain’t nobody happy”! This holds true for all of us (excuse the statement as gender specific – this holds true for male practitioners as well). Taken in context, let’s review the statement. The mother in the example holds the responsibility for total operations and as such, if she goes down, so does the entire operation, whether it is family, home, bills, etc. The same concept applies to the practitioner. If you are not at your peak, there is absolutely no way for you to optimize your own abilities to aid someone else.
It is of the utmost importance that you take the time necessary to rest and rejuvenate. If you are trying to juggle a home, spouse, kids, schoolwork, balancing the budget, an additional job, and trying to accommodate your clients every whim, you WILL crash!! We can’t be the have all and be all that we envision from the superheroes of our childhood. You must realize that life is a balance. And although you would like nothing more than being revered by your clients as being “always there” and “the go to guy”, you need to understand that taking that approach will ultimately get you into trouble.
Admittedly, it is a wonderful stroke of the ego when our clients see us as being the guru or someone that they can always count on. Please understand that this attitude of “I can do it” or “they need me”, can sometimes overshadow our need for rest. Allowing yourself the opportunity to set your schedule to your own lifestyle will avail you the necessity to be at optimum performance when seeing your clients. Believing that your clients need you is not only egotistical but it is essentially dangerous. Your clients may be seeking help, help of which you may be able to offer, but to assume that you are the ONLY person who can help them is a trap that many practitioners fall into. First and foremost, you need to understand that you are not “responsible” for your client. You have responsibilities when it comes to your client but you are not responsible for them. Each and every individual person on this planet is responsible for himself or herself. I will put a caveat in here that applies to children, elderly or otherwise incapacitated individuals of which fall under your jurisdiction (using that term loosely). So, if you are one who continuously feels the pull to take control and solve the problems of others, I will say to you, it is time to take off that cloak and look yourself in the mirror and repeat the words “That is not my job”.
So many of us struggle with that concept (again I will say that mother’s are notorious for adopting this attitude and carrying it through for the entirety of their children’s lives – no matter what their children’s age). So if you are a mother and a practitioner, chances are good that you have double trouble when it comes to setting boundaries with clients.
Some practical advice: Set a firm client schedule that works for you within the confines of all of your other responsibilities. That is one of the reasons you engaged to do the work that you do, right? So that you could have the luxury of setting your own hours, while helping others? Do NOT deviate from the schedule. Doing so will only detract “your” time. It will in no way take anything away from anything else but your quality time. It will not detract from the house, the laundry, the shopping, etc. – only your energy pool. You will continue to try and meet all of your other obligations because you have to – these are non-optional obligations. But it certainly means that you will not have the time to schedule that night out with girlfriends, take that round of golf or just sit with you partner and talk. These are the things in life that bring us pleasure. They relax us and bring us to the basics of what is needed for each and every person on this earth. It is vitally important that you get sufficient sleep/rest time as well as play time. If you do not get sufficient sleep for your body, you will be doing an injustice not only to yourself, but also to every client you work with.
Again, I will repeat, DO NOT deviate from your schedule.
Contrary to this, many would say, but hey, I need the money, so I will modify my needs for now in order to pay my bills. Trust me, I totally understand that concept; however, I will say this, once you make that exception, you have broken the seal. For a bit of clarity and lack of a better analogy, let’s say that it is similar to a child who tells a lie. First he tests the waters by saying something simple like “yes, mommy, I ate my whole sandwich”, when in reality he may have eaten 75% of the sandwich and passed the fourth quarter to the dog under the table. He finds that, although he might be slightly uncomfortable, mom is smiling happily and life goes on. In that moment there is a shift in the subconscious that says “hey, that was easy!”. Naturally, as time progresses and life gets more sophisticated, the levels of untruths become greater. With each event that passes undetected with no consequential backlash, the natural progression for our psyche is to expand. So then essentially the lies get bigger and much more substantial in nature. In many cases, mom knows that her little one may be telling a little white lie, but as we all have come to learn as parents “pick your battles!” so she lets it slide. As this progression takes place, both mom and son have agreed on some level that this is acceptable behavior; perhaps not even consciously, and yet the situation continues to grow. Problem is, is that both parties then come to a comfort level (although that sounds quite contradictory labeling it as “comfort”, but in reality anything that becomes habitual – good, bad or indifferent becomes comfortable, because it is familiar). So to tie this little blurb back to our concept, once you accept a small deviation, naturally both you and the client become “comfortable” with the upheaval of your life. Understand that it is YOUR life that is altered – not theirs, and the level of manipulation of your time and standards have now been compromised.
This whole theory holds true in MANY circumstances. Once you have done something once, you have crossed the barrier of solidarity. If you say “I will do it just this one time”, two things happen.
The client knows that you will cave in given the right set of circumstances.
You realize that it wasn’t “that bad” and your psyche sends a signal that doing it again could be acceptable.