RHYTHMS
Poetry and musings
RHYTHMS
Poetry and musings
Leo Shelton
A Tugson Press project
Rhythms – Poetry and musings
All Rights Reserved 2007 by United States Copyright Office—Library of Congress
No part of this book may be reproduced, transmitted, or utilized in any form or by any means, graphic, electronic or mechanical, including photocopying, recording, taping, or by any information storage or retrieval system, without the permission in writing from the publisher. Inquires should be addressed to Permissions, Tugson Press, Attn: Leo Shelton, P.O. Box 429, Temple Hills, MD, 20757
Library of Congress Cataloging-in-Publication Data
Shelton,
Leo.
Rhythms – Poetry and musings / Leo Shelton.
p. cm.
ISBN: 0-9791786-0-6
1. Poetry, urban, American. 2. Afro-Americans – Poetry. I. Title.
ISNB-10: 0-9791786-0-6
ISBN-13: 978-0-9791786-0-3
Printed in the United States of America
Book Design by L.Shelton
Cover Art by Jay Shelton
Everything
in the universe
has rhythm.
Everything
dances.
M A Y A A N G E L O U
As in art, and music, and dance and love, and lust and loss, all of life has a rhythm.
It’s within these rhythms that we find feelings, and in celebrating these feelings, that we truly experience life.
Each life must follow its own rhythm.
The Author
To my GOD for all of my life beats,
To Carolyn and Jerry for the voice,
To Kay for the joy
And to Jay, Tyrone, Kenny and Aaron
for the love.
CONTENTS
I. Of Life 17
My Soul Moves 18
Happy Birthday 19
Family Pride 20
Hush mama 21
A Grand Love 22
Graduation 23
The Play of Life 24
ME 25
Life Plan 26
Home (?) 27
Out on my door front 28
Der Lawd 31
The truth 32
New Days 33
Running 34
Fame 36
Brown Skin 37
Reflections of small life treasures 38
Just make me laugh 40
Only one 41
Mother Justice 42
Saturday sinner 43
Black Self 44
Spirits of free 45
Grace 46
Talking to you 47
Inside Out 48
It’s why 49
My being 50
Lost Soul 51
Because I write 52
Sound bites 53
Today 56
II. Of Lust 58
Hooked 60
Untitled 61
Untitled 62
“Affirmation” 63
I Sleep 64
Sex Dance 65
Love Divine 66
Butterfly Love 67
BLISS 68
Butt Naked 69
Sometimes 70
Black Love Juice 71
Escape 72
Microwave Love 73
Buttered Soul 74
Chocolate kisses 75
My cry 76
Better Days 77
The Cruise 78
Deep Dark Lusts 79
II. Of Love 81
Strange Love 82
Imprisoned Love 83
Sweet Love Alive 84
No Man Walks Alone 85
The Answer 86
Silly Love 88
Black Queen 89
DAMN Love Thang 90
About last night… 91
Summer Love 93
Untitled 94
Stonewall 95
True 96
Warm Baked Love 97
Self Love 98
Love So True 99
To know 100
My Destiny 101
Hidden love 102
Always 103
Journey 104
Love, J 105
New Love Found 106
Mom 107
Look at me 108
New Paths 109
Splendor 111
The vow 112
Untitled 113
Sun Love 114
Broken 115
Solitude 116
Undeniably 117
IV. Of Loss 119
In Autumns Mist 120
Lost Lover 121
Despair 122
The Band plays on… 123
Jay’s Song 124
Time 125
Away 126
Untitled 127
Homecoming 128
The Blues 129
Wake up call 130
Requiem 132
Laramie 133
Wasted Love 134
Untitled 135
Ramblings of Lost Love 136
For Daryl 137
Heart Blues 138
Ryan (White) 139
Free 140
Life like Train 141
Transmissions 142
RHYTHMS
Poetry and musings
‘Of Life
My Soul moves
My soul moves…
Through triumphants and dismays,
Touches kidz and ole people
In ways
Reaching out, it inhales
And suffocates
And loves
And dances
And moves
To music unsung
And words unspoken
With the truth and clarity of a butterfly’s swirl
My soul moves
Mountains and streams
People and things
Challenges un-seemed
With characters of own,
It’s strong
It moves…
It hugs and kisses
And salutes
And teaches and punishes
The weak,
…My soul moves
like rides of amusement
through tunnels of open road
endearing to see
more so to behold
…brother, my soul moves
at speeds you would not believe
through mountains,
round trees,
into lives
and other’s souls
you see
…my soul, it moves…
Happy Birthday
A kid again with no toys to play,
No one to enjoy the time or day
My day…so how come it belongs to someone else?
I’m me - but not myself
I woke up…but still I sleep
Dream-scaping for parts of me
I want so much
For so little
And get so little,
For so much as I want.
Debit plus credit equals Birthdays.
The beginning is the day after the end,
But when did it start, anyway?
Or…better yet….
When will it all be over? This birthday.
Family Pride
I am a branch
Strong and independent
I am surrounded by leaves
And other branches
They protect me
They guide my growth
But allow for my individuality
I am a part
I belong
I am loved
By my FAMILY
“hush mama”
“hush mama”, can’t even hear myself thank with you going on
“hush mama” ain’t never done what you’d like or wished
“hush mama” can’t live four you, gotz to do it my way
“hush mama” ain’t ever liked the choices I made
“hush mama”, let me make my own mistakes
“hush mama”, justa nagging and nagging
“hush mama”, I’ze just like you.
A Grand Love
You can be doctors, lawyers, preachers,
Nurses, astronauts, or teachers
You can be black, white, brown, or gray
Straight, bi or gay
This too, you can be
But you ain’t never nothing but a grandson to me
You gone stray far from this ole house, and bring trouble home with ya
You gone get into some troubles, I figure.
You gone grow tired and weak in your struggles,
You gone befriend those who ain’t your brothers,
And when all your welcome mats run out,
And ain’t nowhere to hang your hat,
You gonna need my help some days
And you gonna disappoint me in ways.
But ya ain’t never gonna be
No less than what you are to me.
You can be who you wanna be
Anything, anyone, any profession you see
Don’t every let someone dictate to you
The “who” and “what” your mind can do
And just maybe the brother you ought to be
Can be found in the person that you let them see.
A child of God,
Of your mother,
And me.
Graduation
I dreamt of a day,
And that dayz ah here
I had no hope back then
Just lots of fear
I asked for patience and courage you know
I prayed to God, on the way to go
I relied on advice of friends
And even crutched some of those I depend
And having not seen my reward in site
I held out with the strongest of might
I struggled hard, but I endured
I was trampled on and ridiculed
But of one thing, I held true
I was gonna make it through
And make it I did, with strength and grace
I may have lost the struggle,
But I won this race.
The Play of Life
Horoscopes, kaleidoscopes,
Bubble gum and cards
Life’s theme play
Everyone has a part
Reading lines,
Changing minds,
Day after struggling day
Night falls, all in all
Things work out okay.
Chains of hurt
Death and dirt
It all connects somehow
Dreams mean things
For those who do not often sleep
Fantasize about nothing
Love who you are
And search for nothing but to share this experience
…with those whose characters sleep.
ME
I AM I
No lies, no rules, no fools,
I AM WHAT I AM
A slave to a world that does not even own me
I take a deep breath, but I gasp
I swallow, and my stomach hurts
BUT I SMILED IN THE MIRROR AND KNEW ALL WAS WELL
I GIVE so that no one can take from me
And I sleep peacefully but wake up yet again in this treacherous world.
SAME LIES,
SAME RULES,
SAME FOOLS,
SAME OLD MIRRORS,
Different day!
BUT THROUGH GRACE…
…THE SAME OLD ME.
Life Plan
Life is not that simply done
It doesn’t always end as it’s begun
Things aren’t always what they seem, ya know
Some paces fast, and others quite slow
And looks are truly ones that deceive,
They should never influence your belief
Just be the best you and never curtail
Do what you do and do it well
Live as though there is no end
And laugh and love, and share, and grin
Pay little attention to the cross you bare
And make those who doubt, stop, look and stare
Be proud, stand tall, and don’t you look down
Remember you stand on a higher beings ground
Home (?)
I dreamt of place not my own
Not of my home or a place I’d ever been.
I want to go back
And I don’t know why.
It’s a lonely place…
An unsatisfying trip.
It’s a barren place,
Decorated with personalities of me.
A cold place
Where the sun continues to shine.
It’s my place,
And no one visits un-invited.
It’s a special place
For it is mine.
I want to go there,
But I know not the way.
Out On My Doorfront
Out on my door front
I see people walking vicariously through life’s’ beauty
Holding heads up, and down
Through smiles and frowns…carelessly….
Out on my door front….as I sit.
Out on my door front
Old women tend pigeons as though they were lovers
And lovers fight as though they were enemies
Looking past the forest but never seeing falls’ leaves
Out on my door front
Out on my door front
I’ve watched cops abused
By lawyering tools, and drug slingers mocking them all,
And after all, whose fault is that
It all happens here on my door front.
Out on my door front
I’ve seen races mix, faggots dissed, lesbians kiss,
And the disapproval all over your face,
Yeah, I’ve seen you stare and increase your pace
As you walk by
Thinking it ain’t safe
Out here on my door front
Out on my door front
I’ve seen your kids
Playing, laughing, chatting, and screaming
In corn rolls, kissy-curls, and long flowing but knotted braids
And then there was you in booty shorts and shades
Sipping on forties which welfare paid
Out on my door front
Out on my door front
I’ve seen blind men reach for things both unseen
and unobtainable,
rich crooks go broke
homosexual wanna-be’s peeping at me,
healthy hearts have strokes
I’ve watched as Taxi’s pass my brothers by
And spoke to strangers who wondered why
And where? here…on my door front.
I’ve walked with a million plus brothers in peace
Out on my door front
Watched sister’s sin
On those they depend
With the disrespect that others practice against black men
Right here man, right here on this door front.
I’ve felt the pain when a love one is gone
Felt all the hurt of a lovers’ wrong
Watched you lie, and cry, and wanna die
I’ve sat through and gone through all of that
Out here on my door front
And from this door front of mine
I’ve heard the ministers preach hate
And call aids – the fate – of a people gone wrong
While they drive Lincolns, screw deacons,
Sin on Saturday, and then sing gospel songs.
You see, I’ve seen all of this from my door front.
Out on my door front,
I’ve seen you, you seeing all of this
I’ve watched as you turned your head, raised your nose,
And your walk became brisk
I’ve seen you gloat
And clear your throat
While you pretend to vote
And sport Tommy and Donna and Calvin on your back
And speak in prose of credentials you lack
Tell me my brother, what’s up with that?
I’ve asked you for change, remember my name?
I guess not.
I’ve embarrassed your race, been too in your face?
While we all keep pace with people whose last name is Jones?
Out on my door front
We’ve chatted about religion, politics and educational decline
And the hopes of a generation left behind,
And the conversation always returns to what is mine or yours
Out on my door front
I’ve watch you blame, then shame,
and the whole goddamn establishment’s insane
buying Bullet tickets for 200 a piece
and gangsta rap CD’s for your 12 year old niece
You stood up for a cause just once last year
With your loud catcalls, a vicious vote and a cheer
To cap teacher salaries my dear.
I saw you, I watched you from my door front.
And I watched as you advanced
Then danced
On the paper which abolished affirmation action
Yeah, that was you
See, I saw you, from my door front.
And as I watched from my door front,
My anger began to grow
And out of me, your words began to flow
Becoming someone I didn’t even know
Incensed by you,
Cursing you, despising you
Even trying to hide from you
Or me….
Cause all the while I was becoming you
Sitting out here on my door front
Der Lawd
Der Lawd, Der Lawd,
“Call me”, yuz said, “Whense I need ya”.
So I’ze did.
I’ze called you Lawd.
I’ze called and called and called.
Yuz answered, Yuz did, but puts me on hold.
I’ze hung up Lawd.
Hung up in disgust.
But I’ze called ya back, Lawd.
I’ze called and called, and I’ze called.
Yuz answered Lawd,
But ya ain’t said nothing
The truth
There is no truth
There is no fear
Me against them, I swear
There is no truth
Nowhere to see
Just me against them, and them against me
No truth in law
The better liar wins
No truth in love
The happiest to walk away grins
And even in death
There is no truth
If all are judged,
Upon our youth
New days
In mass we sing
Of a new day to come
Not better, not worse
Just new
We live to live again,
Yet we die to achieve.
We are children of ourselves
And no less than each other
We claim a part, each our own
And things must happen as they do.
We teach the coming ones
To guide us with pride
Making them strong, defensive players in life
Hoping that they laugh at the past
But with no ridicule,
Making their heroes….themselves
With whom loneliness will never reach.
Being everything, but nothing,
Lasting forever in someone else’s name
Carrying the torch always
That burns our hearts.
Running
I’m running
Running, and
Running, and
Running
Running to love
You see,
It keeps stealing away from me.
Running
Running from AIDS and VD and Herpes, and all those things that make it unsafe for me to love
Running
Running out to get dental damns and “jimmies” to protect you
And me
From you and me
Running out of time and out of my mind
Trying to figure out
What’s so safe about love…..?
Any love.
I’m running
Running for that popular vote
The one I thought I left behind in my elementary and high school days
That I thought I overcame, but knew I never won.
Running wild
Running close
Running out of my mind
Still running
Running after youth’s obsession
Proudly displaying my body
Carefully protecting my age
Running…
Running strong
Running long
Going back down roads I’ve traveled
Just so I can arrive safely home
Running
Running to keep pace
With myself
And to succeed at everything I run my mind up in.
Running behind schedule
No matter how or where
I run
Running, still running
Running my credentials up the flag pole
For the same old man in a different suit to deny me mine
Still running
Running fierce
Running free
But running out of patience
Running home to my people to get reenergized
Now I’m running into trouble
And disappointment
And into all the wrong hearts
And yet, coming out whole
And I’m still running
Running bold
Running old
Running substances in my blood just so I can keep running
But still running
Running on something,
Running on nothing,
Running scared,
Running dead,
Running tired of running
Fame
Fickle fate
Wanton success
Smothered in fantasy
And decorated with confidence
Flew down
Face first and fierce
Landing on the wrong doorstep
Enjoyed in silence
But celebrated cautiously
Shadowed forever
Lasting a minute minus
Brown Skin
Brown skin,
Of my people
Affectionately called “black”
Colors of a rainbow heritage
A culture under attack
Indians are called red
And my redbone brothers, black
But white boys are called Caucasian
Cause of the pigmentation that they lack
I’ve looked to the rainbow
And never found my color
Looked up the definition of black
But now I don’t bother
There’s darkness about my people
And all people to be sure
But my brownness don’t make me evil
And your lack of hue don’t make you pure
I am an African prince
American by birth
Don’t ever call me “black”
And try to discount my worth
I’m much more than a simple color
And my heritage meant a damn
So if you really want to identify
Exactly who I am…
Call me African-American
And skip the Uncle Sam
Call me African-American
And I have no “Uncle Sam”
Reflections of small life treasures
Reflections of small life treasures
Old school memories and all its pleasures
Holding hands on a winter night
Slow dance skating to “Skin tight”
Blowing bubbles with gum
Small obstacles overcome
The smile of strangers
And music that touches
And meals that feed the soul
With lessons from the old
Grandma’s pudding cake
And all that was at stake
When falling in love for the first time.
Or drilling a whole in a brand new dime
Finding a star and making a wish
Movies and fairs and my first kiss
Teddy bears and boo-boo’s
Funnel cakes and trips to the zoo
Mama’s baking and licking the spoon
And early Saturday morning cartoons
Converse all stars
And matchbox cars
Kickball on concrete after school
Leaning back and falling off stools
Earth Wind and Fire, and the Commodores
Lemonheads and making smores
Camping out and sleeping in,
High school Frats and step show wins
Centennial Park and TSU’s band
Swimming in beaches, playing in sand
Candy necklaces and Boston Baked Beans
Bootsy Collins concerts and all that means
Izod shirts and 501 Jeans
Argyle socks and penny loafers with quarters in between
The Jackson Five and leopard covered sheets
Cruising West End and listening to beats
Playing in the rain, and sneaking porn
WVOL and Midnight Storm
T-Ball, Twinkies and Altar boys,
Checkers, Life and boxing toys
Through all my travel to many places
All those things and all those faces
Made my life what it is today
Through every experience that happened my way
Just Make Me Laugh
Make me laugh
At all I’m going through
Make me laugh
At Me
At You
Make me laugh
Laugh out loud
And inside
At moments
Of embarrassment
Of joys
When I’m hurting
When I’m proud
Just make me Laugh
Like a new kid with toys
At whatever life sends my way
At all the things that we share
But don’t say
Make me laugh at them all
Huge experiences
And those very small
Just…make…me…laugh
Just…make…me…laugh
Only One
I’m the only one
That can marry with fate
The only one
Who can participate?
In the dance of life
And blessings of love unquestionably
It’s all up to me now
I’m the only one
Who can stop the lies?
Lose the pretence
Say goodbye
To the woes of troubled times
I’m the only one
It’s all up to me now
I’m the only one
Who’s smile in despair
And laughs at conjecture
Can set sail in bliss
And remiss
The troubles I’ve seen
It is my voyage to go alone
For it is me who must live
With the dignity of a ship