A directory of Smashwords ebooks available in the EPUB format. Sample them online, then visit Smashwords to download samples or purchase the book.
|
|
Get The Lead Out | by Jay M Horne March 27, 2011 | $1.99 | 1231 words | Sample 40% |
| Shift into First Grade Corey's mind as he realizes that he is number three in line, and he doesn't think he'll make it the bathroom on time. Find out how he gets himself out of a critical situation. | |||||
|
|
Role Call | by Jay M Horne March 27, 2011 | $2.99 | 697 words | Sample 20% |
| This gripping short in the shift series puts you in the seat of a kindergarten kid named Dick Puny during his first encounter with Role Call! | |||||
|
|
The Z-Files! A Parody of the X-Files | by Stephen Antczak March 27, 2011 | $0.99 | 18399 words | |
| Forget those wimpy X-Files. The Z-Files are where the truth's at! Or is it? I mean: Or are they? | |||||
|
|
Nachos Galore | by Indiana Hampster March 26, 2011 | $0.99 | 6675 words | Sample 30% |
| Quitting the Space Marines after the disastrous Battle of Din Bin Foo, Dirk Beretta attempts to drown his nightmares in the galaxy's sleaziest drinking holes. But when the heiress to the Winterbotham Nachos fortune is kidnapped by Flaming Space Weasels who plan to process her into Weasel Bites(TM) and kibble, only one man can save the day. 7000 words of comic space-opera. | |||||
|
|
Hell's Belles | by Dayle A. Dermatis March 25, 2011 | $2.99 | 5207 words | Sample 20% |
| Teaching etiquette to a spoiled debutante can be hell…literally. Includes BONUS story "The Devil Went Down to the Sunset Strip"! “Hell’s Belles†originally appeared in Deathgrip: Exit Laughing (Hellbound Books, 2006). | |||||
|
|
The Great Rock N Roll Doomsday Tour | by Darren Humphries March 25, 2011 | $3.00 | 61731 words | Sample 20% |
| Reality's a funny thing. One day it means debating the use of the semi-colon in literature at the largest book festival in the country and the next it means being on the run with a woman who claims to be your bodyguardian angel and has a penchant for really large guns. Strange things are happening in the Big Apple and nobody else seems to have noticed. A comic romp. | |||||
|
|
Why Rock the Boat | by William Weintraub March 25, 2011 | $3.99 | 57474 words | Sample 20% |
| In a tale reminiscent of The Front Page, Harry Barnes, a young reporter joins the Daily Witness where the managing editor, Philip Butcher fires journalists while clamping down on real news. To amuse himself Harry writes hilarious Butcher stories, which inexplicably appear in the Witness. When he falls for Julia, a reporter who is hot for rebellion, Harry is tempted to rock the boat all the way. | |||||
|
|
Happiness May Vary | by Cristian YoungMiller March 24, 2011 | $2.99 | 93437 words | Sample 20% |
| Some people find happiness by listening to their hearts, others their minds, but Ben listens to his alcoholic, verbally abusive penis and things don't work out quite as planned. 'Happiness May Vary' is a story about what happens when two heads are not necessarily better than one.' | |||||
|
|
Stress Test | by Kate Dockeray March 24, 2011 | $0.99 | 66901 words | Sample 15% |
| Sara Malloy lives an average life in an average neighborhood. Her quiet, content life is interrupted when she allows a friend of a friend to rent a room. Her well meaning favor backfires when she realizes she's got the roommate from Hell. Her luck goes from bad to worse when the lunatic ex of her recently reunited boyfriend suddenly resurfaces. | |||||
|
|
Marius the Bartender | by Danielle Kazemi March 24, 2011 | Free! | 1622 words | Read a sample |
| This is a short story centered around a would-be hero named Marius as he thinks back upon the mishaps of his life which led from him being a cadet at the Starfighter Academy to now waiting on tables as a bartender. | |||||
|
|
Janie Moss and the Other Point-oh-Two | by Melissa Stevens March 23, 2011 | $0.99 | 5188 words | Sample 20% |
| A short story. Sonny's is the neighborhood grocery store that Janie works at, and just happens to be haunted. See what happens when Janie goes up against the other point-oh-two of paranormal phenomenon in this humorous ghost story. | |||||
|
|
Pulpit Fiction - a gallery of clerical errors & amusing grace | by Dan Mayhew March 23, 2011 | $0.99 | 6849 words | |
| Who says God doesn't have a sense of humor? What other explanation can there be for the wacky world of church? If heaven rejoices over a sinner that repents, it must bust out laughing over what goes on in the pews. Join the fun as Chaplain Dave tackles a runaway octogenarian in the middle of a gaggle of geese; Rev. Bob lets a bunch of ex-cons paint the church, and so much more... | |||||
|
|
Male Fraud | by Fran Shaff March 23, 2011 | $2.99 | 35426 words | Sample 10% |
| Terry Fiscus disguises herself as a man in order to get a job as trainer for the pro football Chicago Cyclones. When Coach Dan Barringer meets Terry outside of work and gets to know her as the lovely "Teresa" he falls in love, and so does she. As Terry tries to manage her double life things get complicated and very funny. Hilarious Romantic Comedy Novella from Award-Winning Author Fran Shaff | |||||
|
|
Naughty Marietta | by Richard Daybell March 23, 2011 | Free! | 2289 words | Read a sample |
| Corey is going to write a romance novel. “I've read them, and I can write them as good as anything I've read,†she announces. Her husband thinks it's a great idea. He loves her heroine, Marietta, but unfortunately, he's growing more and more jealous of her hero, Jeremy. A humorous cautionary tale for romance writers -- full of love, lust, jealousy and seriously bad behavior. | |||||
|
|
Coming Out - The Short Saga of Russell Kelly | by Rex Bromfield March 23, 2011 | Free! | 3088 words | Read a sample |
| At 460 Russell Kelly had given up on losing weight. It was simply impossible. But, in one delirious and insanely creative moment Russell had an inspiration. He had found a way to join once more with mankind without attracting the unwanted attention and harassment. He would disguise himself as two people. | |||||
|
|
(Just like) El Cid's Bloomers | by Tim Roux March 23, 2011 | $0.99 | 40183 words | Sample 10% |
| Jake Pembleton is a singer-songwriter who once killed a man, which still plays on his conscience. Now he is in real trouble. Ever since returning home to his wife and kids to find his suitcases parked outside his front door, Jake has been holed up with a springy nineteen year old groupie who is so sexy that she nearly gives him a heart attack each time she steps out of the shower. | |||||
|
|
What in Hell is up with Heaven?: No rest for the wicked... | by Christopher David Petersen March 22, 2011 | $0.99 | 88514 words | Sample 30% |
| Religious Satire: A humorous tale of the Gods of Heaven and Hell... WARNING: Off-COLOR HUMOR! MAY BE OFFENSIVE TO SOME. 5 star reviews on Amazon(dot)com | |||||
|
|
The Wrong Place at the Right Time | by Mike Lynch March 21, 2011 | $0.99 | 6248 words | Sample 30% |
| Malcom Lee just wanted to get out of the cold and have a warm drink. When he is arrested on Vega Prime for a crime he didn’t commit, things take a turn for the worse. | |||||
|
|
City Haul | by Philip Garlington March 21, 2011 | $2.99 | 60484 words | Sample 20% |
| A feckless, womanizing San Francisco supervisor and his 15-year-old administrative assistant rob the city hall payroll to finance an otherwise hopeless reelection campaign. The insouciant Jay Bodwell has antagonized his main contributor, his moneybags father-in-law, but his truant aide feels his boss still has a chance, if they just had the funds. A temptress makes a larcenous proposal | |||||
|
|
Eau de Smoking Rubber | by Jason Loeffler March 21, 2011 | Free! | 853 words | Read a sample |
| The gang's all here...but who gets to keep the loot, and who has to hit the road? Approximately 800 words. | |||||
|
|
Sub-texting | by Jason Loeffler March 21, 2011 | Free! | 442 words | Read a sample |
| Talk about your mixed signals...and your missed connections... Approximately 400 words. | |||||
|
|
Afternoon of the Iguana | by Jason Loeffler March 21, 2011 | Free! | 1284 words | Read a sample |
| One burned-out personal assistant squares off against one rather devious reptile. Approximately 1,200 words. | |||||
|
|
Running After Tall Sexy Men | by S.A. Devlin March 21, 2011 | $3.99 | 66644 words | Sample 20% |
| Lydia is a former child pageant star in a quarter-life crisis and Doberman is a 58-year-old recovering alcoholic living with his mother and preparing to graduate from bartending school. When Lydia's pathological fear of makeup leads to her mistaken arrest at Macy's, community service has her picking up trash in front of Doberman's Bronx row house. A comedy of New York proportions. | |||||
|
|
The Commissar's Report | by Martyn Burke March 21, 2011 | $4.99 | 111228 words | Sample 20% |
| In this Cold War satire, Dimitri, a young Kremlin spy is secretly smitten by the sirens of capitalism. When he is assigned to the Soviet Consulate in New York City, he is thrilled. But his talent for making money on Wall Street creates problems with the Kremlin. Originally published by Houghton Mifflin, it is lauded as “a wonder of intense, cinematic storytelling†by the Wall Street Journal. | |||||
|
|
Loose Screw (Dusty Deals Mystery) | by Rae Davies March 21, 2011 | Free! | 67903 words | Read a sample |
| Lucy Mathews, crime reporter turned antiques dealer, avoids confrontation like a home perm. She even lets a cat shove her around. When Lucy trips over the body of a relics trader, her ex-boss asks her to cover the story. She tries to tell him no, but old habits die hard and soon she finds herself in the path of a killer and the exasperating, if attractive, detective in charge. | |||||
|
|
Toys from my Attic | by Russell Connor March 20, 2011 | $4.99 | 11282 words | Sample 20% |
| This collection of art, short prose, poetry, and drama is a wonderful way to see the many sides of Russell Connor. Known primarily as a painter, this work provides evidence that his talents don't stop on the canvas. One section of this book has been removed to fit the ebook requirements. Anyone caring for this missing material should email the publisher, who will send it to him or her free. | |||||
|
|
Space Monkey | by David J. Avila March 20, 2011 | Free! | 3036 words | Read a sample |
| Will Saver is surprised he has to work with JimJim the Space Monkey. Will thinks JimJim is usless until their patrol ship is attacked by space pirates and his shift on the bridge has gone from bad to worst. | |||||
|
|
Are U experienced? [The first 4 experiences] | by David Capone March 20, 2011 | $0.99 | 4819 words | Sample 20% |
| Le avventure di un simpatico Signor Nessuno, messo al bando dalla società , e del suo "datore di esperienze" Jimi Hendrix. Dal primo colloquio [Interview] al quarto incarico [Parties]. Enjoy it! | |||||
|
|
Going To Grandma's House | by S. Joan Popek March 19, 2011 | $0.99 | 1783 words | Sample 20% |
| Then there's Little Red Riding Hood. I know what you've heard, but it's time you heard the real truth about Red and that wolf. | |||||
|
|
Un Chamarier Bien Gras | by Patrick Huet March 19, 2011 | $0.99 | 1716 words | Sample 50% |
| Le sec Monsieur Tinteniac, temporairement en disette financière, accepta vivement une mission de confiance : accompagner le chamarier de l'église Saint-Paul (à Lyon) jusqu'à Paris pour divers achats. Il ne tarda pas à regretter son accord précipité. | |||||
|
|
The Cambridge List | by Robert Clear March 19, 2011 | $1.38 | 101895 words | Sample 20% |
| The Cambridge List is an action-packed, ever-so-English dark comedy about gods, sex and death amidst the ivory towers of Cambridge University. | |||||
|
|
Un Réveil En Enfer | by Patrick Huet March 19, 2011 | $0.99 | 2807 words | Sample 50% |
| De Lyon à Saint-Étienne, le chemin peut paraître long pour celui qui se déplace à pied. Mais pas pour ce Lyonnais amateur de cruches de vin. Aguiché par le banquet auquel il était convié, il franchit allègrement et à triple vitesse la distance séparant les deux villes. Toutefois, le retour s'annonça bien moins rapide tandis que la Destinée lui réservait une brûlante surprise. | |||||
|
|
The Devil Came A-Collecting | by C.D. Reimer March 19, 2011 | $0.99 | 1444 words | Sample 35% |
| A man wakes up at midnight to find the devil waiting to collect his little boy soul for a sin committed in kindergarten. A wild chase in a locked bedroom with no means of escape. Was it only a nightmare or all too real? This 1,245-word short story is being published for the first time. | |||||
|
|
Méprise A La Guinguette | by Patrick Huet March 19, 2011 | $0.99 | 3349 words | Sample 50% |
| En l'année 1865, les quartiers de Lyon bruissent d'une rumeur fantastique : il paraît qu'une troupe de danseuses donne, dans une guinguette, un spectacle à éblouir les regards... masculins, s'entend ! On raconte même que lors d'un certain mouvement de pas, leur jupe remonte au-dessus du genou. Toute la gent masculine n'a plus qu'une idée : assister à ces représentations. | |||||
|
|
Max Finnegan, Rogue Prince Of Pinconning | by Philip Wooldridge March 19, 2011 | $0.99 | 5805 words | Sample 50% |
| Max Finnegan, a member of the Pinconning Clan of Mice, frets about the food stores for his people as the Michigan winter approaches. He tries to strike an honorable bargain with a local cheese maker, but when diplomacy fails, he prepares himself and his valiant army of mice and cats for a battle to ensure the Clan's survival. You'll fall in love with the charming little thief in this short story. | |||||
|
|
The Werewolfening of Taffney St. Cloud | by Paul Hawkins March 19, 2011 | $0.99 | 10594 words | Sample 50% |
| Continuing the horror parody begun in "The Vampirenization of Taffney St. Cloud." A buxom alabaster slayer who works in her mother's hair salon must defend Sunvalleydale from undead activity and a zombie pyramid scheme, all on the eve of the Harvest Moon Ball. Will the world will be saved in time for a dance in the Community College gym? Brooding aplenty, but no dark-soled shoes allowed. | |||||
|
|
Mexican Autumn | by John Howard Reid March 18, 2011 | $3.99 | 94314 words | Sample 20% |
| These inter-related short stories are set in a small Mexican fishing village, Bahia de los angeles--a real place in Baja California, 350 miles from the USA border. As the villagers largely depend upon American tourists for their income, many stories deal with the resulting clash of cultures. Dominating Bahia, a treacherous mountain, Tricky Devil, almost pushes the village into the Sea of Cortez. | |||||
|
|
Miracle A Saint Bonaventure | by Patrick Huet March 18, 2011 | $0.99 | 2424 words | Sample 50% |
| Un beau soir de 1873, des bruissements inquiétants se mirent à vibrer au sein de l'église Saint-Bonaventure, des raclements sinistres qui crépitaient à l'oreille du curé de cette paroisse. Plus de doute, les lieux étaient hantés ! Les gendarmes furent appelés en renfort. | |||||
|
|
Death Visits Aunt Agatha | by Richard Daybell March 18, 2011 | Free! | 2209 words | Read a sample |
| Death is going to call on Aunt Agatha this weekend. But is Aunt Agatha ready to see him? "I am Death, come to take you away from this mortal place. Have no fear. You go to a place much better by far, up there, the world above." The voice became an unpleasant drone. "You'll love it. So don't dillydally. Die and get on with it." | |||||
|
|
Dead Sexy | by Cloud Buchholz March 17, 2011 | Free! | 7641 words | Read a sample |
| The apocalypse had to start somewhere. Who would have guessed it would be the Playboy mansion. | |||||
|
|
Bigger Than Both of us | by S. Joan Popek March 17, 2011 | $0.99 | 877 words | Sample 20% |
| Many fairy tale creatures are misunderstood and stereotyped as bad guys. Hey, they're not that bad. They have problems just like anybody else. Ogres need love too, you know. A Short Story from "Fairy Tales With A Freudian Flair" collection that will make you view Ogres in a completely different light. | |||||
|
|
To His Lady's Rescue (Historical Regency Romance) | by Anne Marie Novark March 17, 2011 | $0.99 | 25163 words | Sample 25% |
| A Regency Novella: Gilbert St. John is home from the wars and Arabella Trent needs his help. From the moment she climbs in his bedroom window, he knows he's in trouble. Can this beautiful desirable young lady be the same hoydenish friend from his childhood? Can Gilbert rescue Bella from her desperate circumstances even if it means . . . marriage? | |||||
|
|
Buffet | by Jay M Horne March 17, 2011 | $1.49 | 918 words | Sample 20% |
| I could bet my bottom dollar that I have BEEN just about every person on this planet. I Mean, why do people do the things that they do? Who knows? I do. How? Because I am a shifter and I have been there and done that guaranteed! | |||||
|
|
Can You Help Me? | by K Kishmot March 17, 2011 | Free! | 7481 words | Read a sample |
| When Kevin 'Joystick' Jamble asks Egon to video-record a film for him because he's too busy playing video-games, a path to a social opens for Egon. Egon has ramboized a situation, or so he claims, and then is chided for his designer moustache... He has a most peculiar romantic encounter... Joe Bungle the Jungian inventor helps him to put things into perspective. Night and dawn in South London. | |||||
|
|
The Confessions of a Deliveryman | by Lee Ball March 17, 2011 | $1.50 | 27770 words | Sample 20% |
| Twenty two hilarious stories of home delivery from Lee's popular blog 'The Deliveryman Diaries.' | |||||
|
|
The Vibrating Cranny Scoop | by Mark Neal March 16, 2011 | Free! | 28321 words | Read a sample |
| What exactly is Sexonomics? What do Captain Beefheart, Sylvia Plath and the Christian Brothers have in common? Young Ian Rochford wrestles with these questions as he careers around Liverpool in search of the multiform Alison, and faces his terror of crosswords, hermaphrodites and "the Strap". As Brother Flynn enters “the Zoneâ€, who knows what tales of love, horror and passion will be spun? | |||||
|
|
The Naga of Lyon | by Hilary Walker March 15, 2011 | $1.99 | 5333 words | Sample 20% |
| An executive’s wife sees a camel running down the highway towards Lyon, a big city in France. Yet her husband refuses to believe her. That night she and the camel embark on a series of unforeseen and humorous adventures, but still her husband refuses to believe the animal exists. That is, until she gets the last laugh. | |||||
|
|
Emergency Laughter | by Mike Cyra March 15, 2011 | $2.99 | 28870 words | Sample 20% |
| Emergency Laughter: It Wasn't Funny When It Happened, But It Is Now! A collection of hilarious real-life medical stories written by a 20-year veteran of emergency medicine & surgery. Laughter helps the mind, heals the body and is a critical survival tool for all who deal with death, dying and disaster up close. Author Mike Cyra shows that it's ok to laugh at yourself and the world around you. | |||||
|
|
Pepper Wellington And The Case Of The Missing Sausage | by Tanya Eby March 15, 2011 | $3.99 | 40948 words | Sample 20% |
| Wherever Pepper Wellington goes, interesting things happen. This time, it’s her daughter’s wedding, a string of murders, and lentil soup to die for. | |||||
|
|
Bullets | by Steve Brewer March 15, 2011 | $3.99 | 71201 words | Sample 20% |
| Killing someone in Vegas breaks all the rules. In "Bullets," veteran mystery author Steve Brewer delivers laughs galore while dishing out gunplay, suspense and a little romance. "Think of Hunter S. Thompson meeting James M. Cain meeting . . . James Ellroy to get some sense of what this book is like."--Mystery News | |||||